Tales for the bored and restless

by MorgansPerspective

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Mystery, Random, Adventure, Wonderbolts, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7286

Nothing to do? Maybe we can help each other out.

A series of writings for those who want to kill time.

Various accounts of troublesome and strange ponies engaging in their usual activities and each with their own tale to tell.

Not meant to be learned from at all.

Published 2017-06-26 20:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-18 02:26:57 UTC

Intro/ Teaser

A steely white stallion with a jet black mane sat at the bar. Winged Dagger took another mouthful of hard cider, looking around in boredom as he sat at his stool. He didn't mind a bit of peace and quiet but Luna dammit all, what was the point of a tavern if all there was to do was drink?

Normally Canterlot's alleyway bars were full of life: pretty, single mares trying to unwind after working for some wealthy businesspony, the usual nightlife and even some more... unique sights that only the Capital itself could offer. Boy, he'd never get over the first time he'd ventured out there from Stratusburg .

Tonight though, there was nothing like that to be seen: dull music played in the background, a few couples walked in and out and unlike some other nights he could actually tell what gender everypony there was.

Sighing internally, he wondered whether or not it was a good idea to have come out tonight. While he'd made-and lost- many a friend over the years, his 'nights on the town' were something he normally did himself; an opportunity to find himself a pretty mare or maybe have some fun at the expense of the locals. After all, he had his youth, he had a few bits and he had plenty of testosterone.

Of course, he would have preferred it a little differently and he'd come on this occasion with the hope that maybe he'd have an old acquaintance to share the experience with.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changed as a group of pegasi walked in. Led by a mare with a bright orange coat and mane, a total of five walked in: a stallion with a grayish- white coat and blue mane and three other mares, one light blue, one cream- coloured and one white with a yellow mane.

They seemed a little apprehensive, glancing around as their leader talked with the barpony. Two of them wore shades, giving off a slight air of superiority, showing that they were clearly not your regular townsfolk. If they didn't want to be noticed, the Pegasus observing them from the bar noted, they weren't helping themselves out much.

''- so I kept the spot you asked for. Is everything to your liking, ma'am?'' the mare at the bar asked her friend.

''Drop the act, Breeze. You don't have to call me 'ma'am' every time we talk, ya know,'' the orange mare deadpanned.

Mint Breeze giggled. ''Sorry, Spits. It's just weird seeing you again. You're like, never here anymore''.

'Spits' shrugged. ''Meh, crap happens-'' she gestured to her friends- ''I tell you, some of these slackers would never get off the ground if I didn't whip their asses into shape every day''.

''Just 'cause Soarin' sucks, don't take it out on the rest of us, Cap!'' one yelled back at her. The captain waved a dismissive hoof.

''I hope we'll get to catch up. It gets so boring here, I'd love to be able tell everypony about the latest from the bolts. You have to tell me if it's true about you and-'' she glanced awkwardly at the other pegasi, then whispered something in the pony's ear, giggling in the process.

Spitfire narrowed her eyes. ''Just gimme a cider, Breeze''.

The barpony smiled sweetly. ''Coming right up''.

''Buck,'' the Wonderbolt cursed as his opponent hit the bullseye.

''Better luck next time, dude,'' Dagger smiled, eyeing the other stallion expectantly.

Furrowing his brow, Soarin took a mouthful of beer before responding, ''one day I'll wipe that smile off your face, Dagger''.

''Yeah, bitch about it to someone who cares. Come on, pay up''.

''Hmph,'' he started rummaging through his bag of bits, ''usual stakes?''

''Yeah- actually, you know what, why don't you just buy the next round,'' his partner suggested.

Soarin raised his eyebrows. ''Uh, yeah sure. That's a pretty good deal dude, thanks,'' he commented putting away his purse.

Dagger waved a hoof at him. ''Don't mention it. We don't hang out nearly enough, you know?'' He drained his glass.

Mimicking the action, Soarin gestured to the bar. ''Shall we?''

''Two whiskies Breeze, top shelf,'' Dagger pointed out to the barpony.

She furrowed her brow. ''The oak malt? Damn hon. What's the occasion?''

He smiled. ''Found myself a real dumbass for a drinking buddy,'' he pointed to his left. She looked between the two stallions, then resigned herself to fetching the requested spirits, the joke clearly lost on her.

''Prick,'' the wonderbolt seethed at his partner. Winged Dagger simply looked on in mild amusement.

An hour on and both stallions were feeling the all-too-familiar buzz. The atmosphere seemed so much different now, the boredom no longer a problem. Soarin may have been a little gullible from time to time but he was good company and the two had a lot to talk about.

Still, a night always felt empty to Dagger if it didn't culminate in going to bed with a pretty mare. It was a slight weakness of his, something he'd gotten himself into trouble over before but nothing he ever thought he couldn't control.

Or so he liked to think.

''So, Spitfire- that's the captain over there- she wanted a quiet spot and we both thought of here. The bolts like a drink as much as anypony but you know, we have to be discreet''.

''Hmm...'' Dagger responded absently.

''I dunno why she let Fleet and Surprise wear those bucking shades though. I tell you, some of these mares have more balls than brains- pardon the expression,'' he took another drink, ''if Dash had been with us this would have been literally impossible''.

''Say, you ever tried getting laid with any of them? Doesn't sound like you have much competition,'' Dagger asked suddenly.

Soarin spat out some of his beer. ''Dude,'' he snickered, ''you taken a look at them? I mean, maybe if I thought any of them were straight but I doubt it''.

''That's stupid thinking, Soarin. You have to at least try, you limp dick,'' he gave a sly smile.

His partner deadpanned. ''Not this shit again''.

''You only say that cause I can actually get 'em,'' Dagger challenged his associate.

Soarin shook his head. ''Dude, take this from a friend. You're a bucking tool''.

''Whatever''

''No, really. You know not every mare likes smug guys and brawlers, right?''

''Pfft, that's a load of crap. They just tell you that to boost their self-image- how many times have we had this conversation anyway?''

''Way. Too. Bucking. Many,'' Soarin took another drink, this time of brandy. ''Ugh,'' he winced, ''You are unbelievable''.

Dagger observed him. ''I'm gonna get you laid one day, lad. See that Captain of yours?'' he gestured over to Spitfire, ''I'm thinking you and I should work together on her''.

He just got a blank look in return. ''You are unbelievable,'' the wonderbolt repeated. ''No. I'd rather keep my job. And my genitals too, come to think of it''.

''You're a pussy. No, buck it, we're doing this,'' he tapped him on the shoulder. ''Come on,'' he stood up, the alcohol hitting him suddenly. ''Whoa''.

''I- I dunno dude. You haven't got as much to lose as I have,'' Soarin slurred, observing his boss who was still chatting to the barpony.

''Think of it this way,'' Dagger paused and re-gained his balance, ''It'll mean more to you than me if we succeed, right? You actually kinda know her, right?''

''I guess,'' Soarin stood up. ''Oh Celestia, I am wasted''. He paused. ''Are we really gonna do this? Shit''.

Dagger gave him a push. ''That's still not the attitude lad. You know what, look at me a second'', he said in a stupor, turning his friend round.

''What?''

''Dude,'' he slurred, ''Seriously- seriously, you're way too bucking uptight. Loosen up- you know well as me how short life is, take a few more risks''.

Despite the silliness of the situation, Soarin had to fight back a few tears in his drunken state. He wasn't used to this much affection from his associate, though he did indeed know all too well where he was coming from.

''Also, you always have those bags under your eyes. What's with that? We need to get that checked out''.

''Yeah- wait, what?''

''Follow my lead''.

Mint Breeze had to go attend to some other customers and once again, Spitfire was left alone with her cider. The other bolts had all gone off to their own things.

She sighed internally. She would have liked to interact more with the rest of the team besides just work. It wasn't a well-kept secret that she enjoyed the ''attention'' of some of the other mares in her squadron at times but to them it seemed she was only of any interest during work when they couldn't really get anything better.

No sooner had she arranged for a night of drinks and entertainment with the rest of them had they all up and left her.

She rested her head on the bench in front of her and pawed at her drink, feeling way too alone.

Soarin and Dagger stumbled towards the bar. A smile took the cockier Pegasus' face when he noticed Breeze had left her friend and she was splayed out over the bar.

He stopped their advance with a hoof to Soarin's chest. ''See that?'' He pointed to the object of their attention. ''Child's play my friend. Mare all sad, on her own. Jackpot''.

Soarin gave him a look. ''That's really obnoxious''.

He shrugged. ''Eh, doesn't make it any less true''.

Soarin wasn't convinced; Spitfire wasn't what one would consider a 'typical mare'. He didn't like the idea that she was some prize to be won.

Oh sure, he was young, drunk and thought she looked attractive but... he had enough respect for her that manipulating her this way gave him pause.

However, his friend was well in control here and before he knew it, he found himself in front of said mare. For a brief moment, sobriety hit him as he froze up.

Two shadows emerged on the bench in front of the Captain of the Wonderbolts. She looked up to find two white- coated stallions looking at her. She immediately recognized one as her second-in-command but the other she wasn't familiar with.

She looked between them expectantly.

''Everything alright, Soarin? Who's your friend?''

''Uhh...I...ah'' he stammered. Dagger gave him a nudge.

''Look at that, you got the lad right under your hoof, I like that. Winged Dagger, Miss; Soarin and I used to be in the guard together. Pleasure to meet you''. He slurred as he held out a wing.

His breath reeked of booze and he seemed like a total creep but she kept herself civil. She returned the gesture and forced a smile.

''Spitfire. Likewise. I'm sorry to say you boys actually got me at kind of a bad time- I'm waiting for the bartender. But maybe we'll catch up later?''

She turned to her associate. ''Soarin, I need you to meet me back at HQ pretty early tomorrow. I'd recommend you quit for the night''.

''Uh, yeah, understood boss''.

Dagger rolled his eyes. Of course his friend would bail on the spot. However, he wasn't one to give up easily.

''Actually miss, Soarin's just been telling me all about his time with you in the bolts. Pretty impressive''.

''Is that right,'' she responded, trying not to let her annoyance show.

''And we kinda thought it'd be indecent of us to let such a wonderful pony sit here on her own for so long. It just doesn't seem right, you know?'' He sat down next to her.

She raised her head to observe him a little more attentively now. An idea began to form in her head but considering this pony was known to her subordinate, she didn't want to let her disgust become too apparent.

She forced another smile. ''I'll be alright, thanks. You two should probably get wrapped up, anyway. It was nice meeting you''.

Though he didn't feel like responding to it in the proper fashion, something within the stallion could sense her lack of interest and he felt his patience falter, so he opted to try a more direct approach.

''I'd rather not leave such a lovely mare to herself if at all possible, Captain. It's been pretty dead in here lately and I just can't pass up the opportunity to get to know somepony who actually interests me. Am I right?''

Was this guy serious? He may have been Soarin's friend but she didn't take kindly to his attitude. She was no stranger to pride but who did he think he was? Clearly the polite approach wasn't going to send him the message.

''You two have obviously had a good night. But you're both way in over your heads and I'm not interested in joining you. Now leave me alone please''.

''Oh come on now-'' Dagger began but was interrupted when bar security approached the three.

''These two bothering you, maam?'' the biggest one asked: a clean cut unicorn stallion whose face was obscured by a pair of shades.

''Nah, it's nothing,'' Spitfire raised a hoof. She may not have wanted anything to do with this stranger but she had her pride. ''I think I can handle my lieutenant just fine,'' she added more to her colleague than to the security.

Meanwhile Dagger (in all his wisdom) had seen in this an opportunity. ''Let's see just who this place hires to keep the peace'' he thought. He knew charm was probably not his strong suit but if there was one thing that consistently helped him get a mare it was the 'tough guy' act.

The staff had been about to leave the trio to it on Spitfire's request: ''Alright but I would ask that you two gentlecolts behave yourselves in future. The owner doesn't like it when his customers are made to feel uncomfortable and Miss Spitfire happens to be a friend of ours. Yeah?''

Soarin was about to hurriedly agree and get this situation diffused but- as he should have expected- his friend cut him off and stupidly stated: ''Don't worry, I'm sure you four dipshits will keep her safe from us''.

This got everypony's attention. The addressed stallion turned to face him.

''Excuse me? You talkin' to me, boy?''

Dagger stepped forward. ''Nopony else is here getting involved in my business, are they?''

Bravado like that was almost unheard of in that particular town, especially considering the two were outnumbered and one of them didn't look quite as sure of himself as the other. If this idiot was serious he was either really brave or really stupid. The head of security stared his challenger directly in the eyes.

''Okay. You get this one warning, boy. This is a decent establishment and we will not tolerate the types who behave like you. Keep it up and you won't be coming back in. Understand?''

Dagger smiled. ''Good thing they hired you dumbasses then, huh?''

The other stallion growled. ''You're pushing it, stranger''.

''Then why don't you run away back to your spot at the door and let me try and pick up some ass if I feel like it?''

Spitfire gave him a look. ''You know what,'' she told the guards, ''I've changed my mind, this one is bothering me a little''.

''Our pleasure ma'am'', their leader replied as the group took their cue to apprehend the stallion.

As one casually made to grab his forehoof, Dagger pulled the aggressing hoof towards himself. Surprised, the guard too late realized the danger when his target suddenly withdrew and slapped the appendage down and out away from his opponent's torso, making him grunt in pain slightly. The coup de grace was delivered swiftly however when Dagger flew up and using multiple hoof- strikes at once, hit his target in the ribcage and temple simultaneously.

After the guard had fallen disabled to the ground, the other three responded accordingly and being easily more powerful combined than the lone stallion was, subdued him despite his resistance.

While they detained him and made various threats of legal action against him for hurting their friend, Soarin looked on and shook his head. He was content enough to let them deal with his friend as necessary, hell it would even serve him right if they gave him a few kicks for good measure as far as the wonderbolt was concerned.

Dagger was an unpleasant drunk to say the least and maybe this time he'd learn to control his behaviour. Or at least that's the stance he wanted to take.

After they'd made sure other Pegasus could not give them any more trouble, one of the guards decided that perhaps Soarin wasn't entirely innocent and made to grab him. Backpedalling slightly, Soarin' gave various points of protest, claiming how it wasn't his fault, that Dagger was just somepony he met up with from time to time and that he didn't condone his behaviour any more than they did.

The guard wasn't convinced, referencing the cliché of how ''I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen'' and how unconvincing it was.

Spitfire herself intervened, taking Soarin's side; after having spent the past few years with him in the Bolts, she knew well enough that an incident like this wasn't something any of her flyers would get into willingly. However, while her objections were noted the guard stated that he wasn't in the mood to be so lenient.

The head of security agreed, noting how the two seemed rather chummy maybe a few minutes before. He conceded that legal action against the wonderbolt wasn't his intention but they were well within their power to eject him from the premises.

Not as used to trouble as his counterpart, Soarin did not know how to respond to being confronted by such a situation and as the guard approached clearly intending some form of violence or restraint, he panicked slightly in his still- drunk state.

Unfortunately for the other ponies involved, while the athlete hadn't practiced violence since his brief tenure in the military, the instinct and ability to defend was still very much there: ducking, the stallion dodged the assailant's hoof. As the guard turned to readjust himself, he felt his leading front hoof slammed down onto the bench, which was followed quickly by a bottle to the face.

The other two were taken aback at this and got up to address the new threat. This was unwise of course as the troublemaker they had pinned down before was allowed freedom once again and set upon the leader of the group, taking a bit more care this time to put some distance between them and the last remaining usher-pony.

While one didn't get into private security by being incompetent and he could counterattack against most ponies who tried their luck at fighting him, Dagger wasn't most ponies in terms of skill and the guard's defence was shattered by a spin and a buck to the knee and groin. Recoiling, his survival instincts took over his sense of calculation slightly as he started flailing his hooves about to deter a series of quick blows aimed at him.

Dagger took advantage of this and aimed his strikes so that soon enough he was landing hits on the pony's eyes, nose, ribs and ears. The guard was worn down and then grounded finally by a leg sweep.

Soarin for his part was barred from engaging further in the fight by a few of his fellows who'd noticed the fight break out and rushed to intervene. Easily dissuaded by all four at once, he could make out cries and pleading for him to stop, while he was treated to his Captain's disapproving glare and the ''you're- in- trouble'' look she used to give him in his early days on the team.

With his comrades all pretty much removed from the situation, the last standing guard backed away from the one upstart still kicking, pointing at him and making promises of arrests being made.

Dagger advanced at a steady pace, pointing out with amusement how well that had gone thus far as his opponent finally fled. He was too sure of himself, however. He had indeed assaulted staff merely doing their jobs at their place of employment and unbeknownst to everypony, the bar staff in anticipation of the fight getting out of hoof had already fetched a nearby Royal Guard patrol.

Figuring he owed the stallion as much for his actions, he confronted the group of mares holding Soarin down and tried somewhat to persuade them into letting him go (not liking having to use violence against females).

''None of us have anything to say to you,'' Spitfire spat at him though still wary. ''Tell this loser to go away please, Soarin,'' she ordered. The group looked at him, waiting for a response.

''Dude...'' he tried to find the best way to address his associate, ''you've already done enough. I can handle this''.

Dagger looked slightly downcast but gave in without much hesitation. ''Suit yourself. I got bigger problems anyway''.

''Soldiers are coming!'' Someone cried out.

Mint Breeze and another pony he guessed was also part of the crew opened the door to a large unicorn stallion dressed in bright purple armour. Upon locating him, they pointed Dagger out to his enemy.

No less than half a dozen more arrived, swords drawn. Now, the Pegasus may have been capable, bold and drunk on booze as well as a sense of power but even he knew that fighting when you were outnumbered and all your opponents had weapons while you had none, was suicide.

He flew out the back door, at least a couple of pursuers following suit.

At first, Dagger cared for nothing but putting distance between the approaching patrol, knocking over trash cans and boxes, taking as many turns as he could, pushing aside anypony who was unfortunate enough to be in his way. As the shouts of his pursuers grew more faint however, he slowed his pace: recovering his energy and leaving as little evidence of his movements as possible.

After a brief and explosive moment of adrenaline and urgency as he fled the scene of his crime, he found that eventually he could cool down and regain his composure.

Canterlot's lower district was still full of life and after a couple of careful turns he found the main street to be only a short distance away. Calming himself and joining the crowd with as much fluidity as he could manage- leaving no trace of panic or guilt to be found on his face- he did his best to obscure himself whenever any passing patrols may have glanced his way and made his way to a more peaceful part of town where the visitors from outside usually stayed.

Once inside an inn he had visited only once before, he bought himself a key and an overnight stay in one of their beds. The receptionist had found how underdressed and unburdened with personal belongings he was to be strange as the place was only frequented by tourists and businessponies usually but thought nothing of it and, he suspected, would likely not be of any concern even if anypony cared to investigate his antics for the night.

After checking out his room and finding the comfort and privacy it offered to be to his satisfaction, he snuck one of the windows and made his way to the roof, perching on the steeple unnoticed as he lit himself a cigarette and admired the clear night sky.

He led a good life, he thought.

Author's Note

No moral or lesson was intended from this whatsoever.

Tossing and turning

Soarin sighed as he slammed his locker shut. He'd had his off days but practice today was a joke.

Not only did he have issues leading his squadron (which came as no surprise to him) but he himself just couldn't keep his movements fluid throughout. Stiff and slow the whole way; even most of the rookies at the academy would have outperformed him, probably.

Of course, it didn't help that none of the others would talk to him or even look him in the eye. They'd given him the usual morning greetings and asked him all the necessary questions but it was obvious what was going on. This was an outcome he was expecting, to some degree. He'd just wished Spitfire would have demoted him on the spot so they could have just put somepony else in charge and they could have just all passed it off as a joke- he never thought he was really a leader anyway.

But alas, she knew he hated awkward social situations and likely took measures to discourage the other 'Bolts from speaking with him when it wasn't necessary. It was a favorite tactic of hers, the cruel bitch (though he still thought she was awesome).

''Lieutenant, a moment please,'' a familiar voice came from behind him. Speak of the devil, he thought as he turned to find Spitfire leaning against the locker room entrance with her usual fiery glare.

Well at least now they would get it over and done with.

He stood up straight, gathering his professionalism with practiced ease and marched up to his superior- who as usual had to gain a foot or so of air to avoid looking up at him.

''Yes, maam''. He saluted with a wing, buffing out his chest as he did so, trying to hide the sense of dread flowing through his mind and body.

''At ease,'' she commanded. His stance changed to a more casual one.

''Heh, I love doing that,'' she smirked as usual, grounding. ''You can look at me now, Soarin''.

''Ugh. Could we just get this over with, Cap? I really don't like all this waiting for news''.

''And what d'ya think's about to happen exactly, Soarin'?'' half like his superior officer and half as if she were his mother.

''Well, you're demoting me obviously,'' he scowled. ''No way I'm still bossing anypony around after today''. He couldn't quite hide the resentment in his voice. Thankfully she wasn't stupid and likely expected it so she didn't mind.

She shrugged. ''Eh, you shouldn't give up so easily. If you go around sulking and thinking nopony respects you anymore, chances are they won't''. Smiling at him as if she were innocent. She knew he knew it was just teasing.

''All due respect maam, I really just wanna get back to barracks''.

Her expression dropped slightly. ''You're lucky I'm not kicking your flank out, you idiot. I had to apologize to ponies just to keep you outta trouble. My second-in command. Bearing in mind we're supposed to be celebrity fliers''.

He said nothing, standing with his head hung like a child who'd misbehaved.

''-if I didn't know you so well I'd make sure you never flew professionally again! You know I can do that, right?'' He nodded.

''I wouldn't even expect that level of misconduct from bucking Misty Fly!'' He nodded again.

She poked him in the chest with a foreleg. ''Violating the ''no-fraternization'' policy- pretty much! Making a pass at your commanding officer! In front of civvies! Maybe I should call for a disciplinary and see how stupid it would all sound!'' He nodded- wait... oh crap, he forgot about that. Damn. He had to admire how comfortable she was with that, actually.

''Uh...'' he was caught off guard.

''Uh... what? Something to say, say it!''

''You forgot assaulting members of the public?'' he smiled as wide as he could.

Her face had been dangerously close to his, she relaxed a little and shook her head. ''You are such a half-wit, Soarin. If you didn't look so clueless I'd probably kick your ass right now...'' she visibly took a moment to gather her thoughts.

''As your boss, I have to give this to you professionally. But first let's get one thing clear: if I ever see you with that douche from before again, you'll both spend a night in jail. No joke, understood?''

He quickly agreed. If he saw his army buddy again any interaction they'd have would be non-verbal and less than friendly, so this was probably a good idea anyway.

''Good,'' she approved before taking back to the air and staring down at him.

''Stand to attention!'' she barked. He obeyed.

''Lieutenant Soarin, you are hereby under probation, the duration of which will be three weeks. Furthermore, I hereby strip you of your rank and demote you to Sergeant!'' he winced as an orange blur caught his uniform and his insignia was ripped off, one depicting three stripes handed to him instead. ''Do you have any objections to this decision?''

''No, ma'am,'' he answered stoically. She grounded again.

''Then you may stand at ease''. He obeyed again.

''Starting tomorrow, you'll be assisting with clean-up at the end of each session every day until I say you can stop- if you're not the worst flier of the day, whoever is can help you. I hope I don't need to tell you I'll be watching your performance too?''

''Yeah, sure''. He was still kinda bitter about the whole thing, honestly.

''Less of the attitude,'' she smirked before turning to leave. ''Get your new rank sewn on and get some sleep, you'll need it. If you'll excuse me, I now have to think of who I'm gonna promote to replace you''.

Yeah, he was gonna beat the shit out of Dagger if they ever crossed paths again, he thought as he entered the shared dorm. All the other Wonderbolts were either asleep, winding down for the night or gossiping to each other quietly.

A few mocking remarks about him being a troublemaker were thrown his way from Lighting Streak as he expected, which he dismissed with a rude hoof movement. At least they'd all be on friendly terms again in the morning, he thought to himself, relieved at the one bit of good news.

He'd get up early with the others and sew his insignia on quickly before practice tomorrow, he figured. He just wasn't in the mood for anything but sleep.

Tomorrow would be a start- a new little adventure, yeah that's how he'd think of it. A new beginning. He'd been given a second chance, after all.

Uh. Maybe I didn't think this through. Could I have a second chance?

Soarin prayed to nopony in particular, joking to overcome the terror he felt as he watched a couple shots approach his section. One hit them squarely between his gun and the one to his right. All four of them in that area were hit- he and his partner were lucky only to be knocked to the ground briefly but the other gun was disabled and if the two manning it weren't dead they wouldn't be able to fight for some time, which made them as good as.

The rest of the airship was struggling to grasp the situation: there had to be more than one hostile vessel as was custom for Royalist bounty hunters. Soarin was convinced from the jerky flying that the cockpit had been struck.

''Damage taken! Need eyes on, Starboard!'' came a voice he recognized as the captain. Yeah that would be nice. Couldn't fight the enemy too well if you couldn't see them.

''One standard warship, at least three escorts Sir! One o' clock!'' his nearest officer shouted back. Getting to his hooves and adjusting his gun with his surviving crewmate, the young Pegasus followed the vision to see a gigantic shadow emerging more and more profoundly from within one of the stormclouds.

Indeed, as they expected Canterlot had sent an interceptor- class battleship after them. As fast as their own but with a few more guns. Between that and their escorts... yeah this was gonna hurt.

The ship took another jolt as more than one of the enemy craft fired again, this was followed by a few profanities from various crew members.

''Two helmsponies dead, lads! Need you to fire at those damned gunners before they land another good hit!''

Obeying with urgency, Soarin didn't even wait for the command to angle and fire, simply loading shot after shot in, firing at anything that looked like a good target.

He thought maybe one or two splinters emerged here and there on the opposing ships but he had no idea how many hits he was actually scoring with all the damn clouds and the adrenaline clouding his thoughts. He flinched but ignored the pain as bits of wood came flying at him as they fired back, blood flowing from various parts of his body.

He was fine, he was fine as long as they didn't hit his eyes or throat, all that mattered was that the ship would stay in the sky. Even his partner started to protest at how fast he was going but he didn't care. He'd do the damned thing himself if he had to. He was strong and quick enough. He'd send these golden-clad bastards to the ground with a nice shade of blood added to their uniforms.

At last, he let up in an instant as he saw one of the enemy craft caught fire and began descending- as luck would have it, it narrowly missed the main ship, which had to veer off into a particularly violent stormcloud, catching a strong jolt as one of its wings was hit and it came to a stop, clearly struggling to re-position.

Perfect! We might actually win this! he thought with pride. Of course he had no idea if it had been he or even anypony on his section who'd landed it.

The captain noticed this too, it seemed as he gave his next order:
''That's it boys! All able crew bring guns to midsection! We'll charge the bastards and give em' all we got at their main supports! Get off your asses, go, go, go!''

There were cheers here and there as the crew began their task of dismantling the guns and rushing them over. They had maybe a minute.

Soarin detached the base and wheels of his cannon and handed them to the other Pegasus beside him. Lifting the barrel, he pushed himself to his limit as he flew to the midship area, powerful wings propelling him so that he was easily quicker than most of his other crewmates.

His partner gave a complaint or two about overly eager Soarin was but Soarin dismissed it impatiently, pressing to find a space amongst the other guns. It didn't prove too hard as a few vacancies had been created in the skirmish, broken cannons and corpses littering the floor.

Poor bastards, he cringed at some of the sights. He was still a little squeamish about this part of the job. This thought was interrupted as he stumbled due to a sudden force around him.

A scraping noise was made as the two ships collided. ''Weapons ready!'' came a cry.

Getting himself frantically back to his hooves, Soarin positioned and loaded his gun, locking on just in time.

''Aim!'' There was a split second of silence. Soarin held his breath.

...

''FIRE!'' Soarin activated the cannon. Almost simultaneously, every other functioning gun on the ship followed suit, the sheer force recoiling them all back, some even losing their balance.

When they'd gotten a look, however, the shock was replaced by instant satisfaction. The main wings and supports of the enemy ship went up in flames: it began dropping slowly but surely as any survivors desperately tried to bail.

Cheers erupted from around the ship. There you go, you Royalist pricks. he thought, more relieved than anything else.

A hearty laugh came as the captain- a large and gruff black Pegasus with a predictably messy collection of facial hair- emerged, more relaxed now most of the danger was dealt with. ''Those bastards'll think twice from now on. My thanks to all of you fine gentlecolts. How about we all fly home and enjoy some well deserved debauchery?'' He suggested happily, patting any nearby crew members on the back as he strutted.

Being pirates, this proposition was met very well; clapping and stomping as the collective mood had a drastic boost.

Soarin felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked over to find his partner smiling. ''I had my doubts about your brashness boy but-'' he extended a hoof- ''very well played''.

''Well played yourself bro,'' the young stallion replied as he took it. ''I am gonna get soooo wasted toni-''

''Captain! CAPTAIN!'' all the celebration came to a halt. Another stallion Soarin recognized as one of the Quartermaster's assistants came rushing into the section.

''What?'' came a slightly annoyed reply.

''Quartermaster's dead!''

They lost crew pretty much any time there was trouble, which for them was regularly. Naturally, the captain replied with: ''Oh well. I'll offer you his share of the loot then to make you feel better. Were you fricken' married or something?'' He looked around for signs of amusement at the joke, getting a respectful chuckle here and there.

The other pony gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes aggressively. ''The magazine's been hit, Sir!''

The response to this was far less humorous. Panic erupted as the pirates got up from their positions, unsure of what to do.

''Bucking hell! Well, go secure it then!'' 'Cap barked at him.

''Yes Sir!''

''What are you dumbasses stood about for! Go help, for Cerberus' sake!''

There was disarray as the crew run in a disorganized rabble. If the mag went up, they were all good as dead.

Soarin panicked, not expecting such an outcome. Maybe he should look for an exit just in case-

''Hey, Blueberry!'' he turned to see the captain glaring down at him. He received a shove. ''Get your bucking ass in gear!''

Still unsure of the situation, the young Pegasus looked nervously at his captain before gathering himself and saluting, turning off.

His captain called to his back: ''Try growing a pair and getting to it faster next time, ye- UGH-'' a distressed cough/ yell ended the sentence. Soarin stopped and turned, confused.

There, on the deck, was an alabaster stallion standing with his face over the captain's shoulder. He was wearing a gold uniform with a dark blue trim, obviously designed for a scout pony of the Princesses' Special Air Force. His cutie mark was a knife graced with a pair of wings which suited him as his own wings were still outstretched from the obviously swift and quiet entrance he'd just made while he himself had a double edged bayonet protruding from the base of the captain's skull.

The intruder pushed his victim's corpse to the ground, sheathing his weapon and reaching for his crossbow while staring directly into Soarin's eyes. Ill- prepared for such a foe, the young pirate grew wide- eyed: he was alone in a wide open part of the ship. If Celestia's personal privateers were as skilled at marksmanship as he'd heard, he was screwed, unless he could-

The ship blew up.

''Soarin? Hey, Soarin!'' The wonderbolt felt his body rock.

''Oh, crap. Goldies got on board''.

''What? Hey, wake up!''

''Yeah, yeah wake up... apologies sir''.

The shaking grew intense.

''Wake the buck up!''

With a sudden movement, his eyes opened and he sat upright.

''What, what's going on? Where am I?''

''Hey, relax. You're in the barracks,'' came a worried voice which was somehow female.

Rubbing his eyes, he glanced up to see a familiar light blue mare with a distinct rainbow mane. That's right, he was a Wonderbolt now, he remembered.

''Dash? What in Tartarus? What time is it?''

''Um, seven in the morning. Debriefing is in twenty minutes, dude!'' she exclaimed urgently.

Debriefing? Oh. Oh crap!

As he expected, all the others were already there. He'd tripped over himself trying to get himself ready on time, just making it on time, having to skip breakfast and... forget sewing on his rank. There would be consequences for that.

Although a certain orange mare whose presence he was dreading was not yet there, the other Bolts had no shortage of witty remarks for him. Dishonoring the team and being demoted, then turning up last of all and in improper dress? Almost all of them had to get their two cents in on that.

One thing he actually kinda liked about them, they really were a mixed bunch. Whereas some (like Lightning Streak and Misty Fly) mercilessly taunted him whenever he screwed up, others gave him scoldings and disapproving looks. Fleetfoot was the worst for that, if she had Spitfire's temper he was sure she'd be next in line for captain.

The captain herself appeared almost dead on time as usual, one of her many remarkable abilities. She wore the same glare she usually did, observing them all with a stare that could almost steal one's soul. Searching, as she did, for any imperfections in the team she'd spend almost every waking hour making into the best fliers in Equestria. And Cerberus did she have a way of putting right anything she didn't like. Shouting could go a long way, it seemed.

As expected, her eyes narrowed as soon as they rested upon her former commander. Soarin almost wished he'd stayed an outlaw and been hanged at that very moment. Though she'd never delay the day's events for it, he could recognize a non-verbal promise to shatter his ear drums when he was given one.

Well, there's something to look forward to.

The debriefing consisted of the usual instructions for practice routines and warm-ups, there was something else about them beginning rehearsals for a show they had a few weeks later. It was adjourned as it usually was within a half hour or so. The whole thing was more for protocol's sake than anything else; with the possible exceptions of Dash since she was the newest member and Surprise due to her short attention span, most of the team could figure out the routines well enough on their own.

They left the locker room for the runway as they usually did in an orderly fashion- years of discipline pressed home masterfully by Spitfire. Lagging behind everypony else as he simply was not in the mood today, Soarin sighed to himself as he gathered all of his equipment and followed on.

He was stopped however, by a forceful yank on his goggles from behind. He gave a yelp as he was pulled backwards to meet the scathing eyes of his superior. After dismissing one or two members of the team who'd paused to observe the scene, she pressed her face directly into that of her subordinate, flaring her nostrils and baring her teeth like she was about to literally tear into him for daring to let her down right after she'd already lectured him.

''Oh Tartarus have mercy''.

After what seemed like an eternity, she finally opened her mouth slowly. He swallowed.

''If I have to start holding your hoof through this Soarin, I will. And trust me, you'll wish you were never born''. She punctuated this with a few hoof jabs. She turned and left without another word.

Author's Note

Probably a few inconsistencies and a rather crappy ending but then I'm a crappy writer.
I swear I didn't PIRATE any of this from anyone (lol geddit).

Kinda rushed since I wanted to get this out in a few hours total (just because) so if there are any errors or bits of poor content, that'll be why.