L'Hotel des Animaux

by SwordTune

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Winona, Opalescence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Pets
Length: 10133

The Hotel of Animals, a regal place below the cottage of a widely know caretaker of animals. All pets tired of their daily, uneventful lives know that it is the only place to rest and relax. Some of them even know of its more "tantalizing" services.

Hundreds of rats, mice, and rabbits fill its staff. A mongoose of exquisite culinary taste and skill, aided by a team of two dozen guinea pig cooks, prepares only the best foods for its guests. Its rooms stretch ten floors down, accommodating pets of every taste. All managed by a single, highly organized owl.

That is the Hotel of Animals. And on the outside, that's all there is. Opalescence can choose her own pampering without her owner's poor, though good-natured, decisions. Winona is free to taste the life a luxury for one day, to see if her owner was right or wrong about the pointless whims of the fancy. Philomena is able to escape the adoring eyes of passing politicians, the same way her owner wishes to as well.

But there is genuine joy, and then there is the mask of it; it is one a sad soul wears to brave the world, one a hunter abuses to lure its prey. And that mask is here, in the Hotel of Animals.

Published 2019-01-14 07:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-12-18 00:44:25 UTC

Opalescence

Rarity can go to Manehattan all week, see if I care. The Hotel of Animals, a place far better than that boutique she spends all her time. It was stylish, of course, but day after day it was all the same things! I needed a change of scenery.

The ladies at the counter showed the owner knew true class. Cats, all of fine stock, greeted the numerous guests daily. I could tell they were tired, for even my presence did little to better their mood. I checked in to my suite on the top floor: close enough to the surface for an exquisite window outside. With the new sanctuary behind Fluttershy’s cottage, the natural view was far better than it had ever been.

Another thing I adored about the hotel: its staff. The poor rats and mice who carried my bags quivered at my sight. I have been here three times and not once have I stooped so low as to eat a putrid creature, at least not one that hadn't been seasoned overnight and roasted over a maple fire.

And of course, the room was absolutely exquisite. The security was avante-garde, locking each suite with a crystal that recognized the guests’ pawprints. Inside, there were perfumed furniture in the living room and a very modern kitchenette to the side. A projector on the ceiling aimed its gaze onto the screen across from the couch. A movie projector, just like the ones in the theatres that always ban loyal pets from entering.

And though the projector was high up, the brilliant architect of the hotel made sure to add function to the fabulous form of the room. A series of scratching posts, each one growing taller, reached up to the projector. Tailor-made for a nimble cat to climb up and insert a film of her choice.

But, movies would be for later tonight, with fried and battered fish and chips, maybe a dash of catnip on the pipe too, if I was up for feeling a little wild. For now, it was the spa for me. The mice left by bags by the closet, and I tipped them with a bit of cheese Rarity had left lying inside the fridge at home.

I took the stairs back down, the spa was at the lower levels of the hotel where its saunas could hold in the most steam. It sounded tempting, but steam meant hours of pruning later, and I had my own way that no other stylist could ever get right. I lifted a hot towel off a rack by the door to the spa, but then I smelled it. Oh heavens, no.

"Sorry, ma'am, for the mess. Just ran here off the farm, y'see." What was that dust-covered hound doing in a place like this? Her owner was an earth pony, did she even know what that meant? Their name meant dirt! She couldn't just pop-in to a place like this.

I sauntered up to Winona and challenged her head-on. I wasn't about to let her ruin my-

"Oh, pardon me Opalescence, I don't suppose you could tell me where I check in 'round here?"

"Of course darling." I pointed her to the counter of cats. "Right there's the reception desk."

"Is that what them squiggly letters say?" She barked an adorable high pitched laugh. "No wonder I'm more lost then a termite after a nuptial flight."

Oh fine, so we were friends. Our ponies were colleagues, after all. It'd be unseemly if I let her face the challenges of pampered life on her own. She didn't have much on her, a small sack on her back was it. Checking-in would take but a minute, a short enough time for me to wait for her so we could enjoy the spa as friends were meant to.

"Well, do hurry on dear. I should have to help you settle in around here, so before you dare enter your room, it'd be prudent to follow me to the spa once you get your guest card."

"Shucks, that's mighty kind of you, Opal," she thanked me. Of course she did, after all, I was sacrificing my precious time to help her relax the proper way.

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I will admit, despite her quaint accent’s diminishing amusement, I rather enjoyed a spa day with a friend. Winona was too much of a country bumkin for her own good, but she was far better company than that darling Fluttershy’s devil of a rabbit.

Angel, what a name. If my back wasn’t so relaxed and my muscles weren’t still softened from the full-body massage, I’d throw a fit just thinking about him on the way back to my room. To my surprise, Winona followed me up to the luxury suites.

Like most hotels that ponies used, the Hotel of Animals went from bottom to top, but the owner of the hotel had the mind to build the hotel underground, in a hill just beyond the farthest edge of Ponyville. The bottom floor was the base of the hill, while the top floor reached the surface at the top. Being at the top, the luxury suites and the business suites just below were the only ones who could get sunlight.

“Oh boy that iguana knew how to work out those muscle knots, didn’t he Opal?”

“He was a monitor lizard, sweetie. And yes, it was quite refreshing.”

“Huh, I wondered why his stripes weren’t like the iguanas I’ve seen before. So, what should I do next?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t really know how you managed to afford a luxury suite in the first place.”

“Oh, that’s easy. Owlicious said he had spare invites, so he put my name down on the guest list instead of himself.” She barked a hearty countryside laugh. “I only found out this morning, y’know?”

“Yes, well, in any case, dinner will be ready soon.” We stopped by the door to my suite. “Inside your suite, the staff should have left a little menu by the bed. The hotel has seven dining rooms dedicated to luxury guests, each with a chef and a speciality. You won’t be choosing your meals once you enter one of the dining rooms, it’s the chef’s job to impress you.”

Winona’s tail, now exceptionally groomed, lowered to the floor. “Oh, well, sounds like a choice I don’t know much about. Uh, in case I can’t decide, reckon I can tag along with you?”

I wanted to hiss at her to make some choices for herself. I couldn’t believe a can-do pony like Applejack would have a dog who fell apart at the sight of just one menu. But, not every animal was made for comfort, and if Rarity had enough heart to be generous, then I did as well.

“I can’t be sure I won’t change my mind, they never serve the same thing twice, you see, but Room Six is where Chef Luckyfoot always serves his food. It’s impossible to go wrong with him.”

For some reason, Winona started giggling. “I guess you could say, I’m plumb lucky to have you around.”

I didn’t know what to say. Was that a joke?

“Uh, you know, because his name’s Luckyfoot, so it makes me lucky?”

Sweet Celestia, it was. Winona was trying to make a pun. I quickly turned around and unlocked my room with a scan of my paw. I had to get away before I acted rudely and rescinded my invitation for her to join me for supper.

“Well, much to decide,” I rushed into my suite, though I couldn’t close the door quite yet without reminding Winona of a crucial matter. “And do remember to dress well for the occasion, darling. You’ll be dining with me, it just wouldn’t do for you to look out of place.”

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There was a single long table brought the whole luxury guests together. Part of the vacation was to get away from the daily shut-in life of pets and finally meet new animals. Cats, dogs, and birds from notable ponies came to the Hotel of Animals to hear the kind of gossip that never gets caught by journalists.
“Oh my, I think I’m underdressed, Opalescence,” Winona said as soon as she followed me into the dining room. “All I have is this dress Rarity gave Applejack for me to wear.”

I took a second run-down of her outfit. A year or so ago Applejack wanted to put Winona in an “Apple Family Pet Show.” I wasn’t sure that was a thing, but I thought it was marvellous and advised Winona to accept the position of a model, post-haste.

But, pets aren’t exactly Rarity’s area of expertise, and the dress wasn’t her best work. Don’t get me wrong, it was a gorgeous masterwork as all her designs are, I wouldn’t put up with her if it wasn’t the case, but the black was rather formal, not very fitting for a member of the Apple family. However, when your competition is a mangy coyote that Braeburn thinks he can pass as a pet, you didn’t need to get everything right.

I patted dear Winona on the head. “You’re not likely to meet a lot of new animals with such a formal look, but it’s fine. A strong farm dog like you should be respected.”

“Aw, but I don’t wanna be seen as unfriendly or anything,” she stammered, “m-maybe I should just change into something else.”

“Nonsense.” I just knew I had to stay strong and guide her through the visceral world of high-class presentation. “I can assure you, anything else you brought from your closet will make you absolutely unpresentable. So just wear a big smile and take a seat.”

“You’re right, I should just--hold on, what do you mean ‘unpresentable?’”

“Just fancy banter, sweetie.” I pushed her along before she changed her mind. I had to. “Pay no mind to it and enjoy the supper.”

I had us sit as close to the head of the table as possible. I recognized a few swans from the Canterlot Royal Garden sitting near the front, followed by a terrier who belonged to the representative of Manehattan in Celestia’s court.

Down the pecking chain a whole pride of Saddle Arabian cats, exotic and petite things that were in fashion among Vanhoover’s “Gold Standard” food scene. The poor things looked starved by their picky food critic owners, though I was sure none of them cared to admit it. Egos as big as Rainbow Dash, those ones.

If only their waists could take a little of that size, they’d actually look healthy. A proper cat such as myself knew how to work a few extra pounds into her fur and figure.

Finally, sitting across from us, there was a raven from Moondancer’s zoology phase. That bookworm wasn’t much to talk about, but many of her former pets made good lives for themselves as activists for poorly kept pets. As a raven, I figured he had plenty of songs to sing about her obsession with books over living things, ponies or otherwise.

A clink chimed from the door to the kitchen. A tall mouse in a tuxedo ushered out a line of waiters who filled out glasses with white wine and thin slices of salmon dipped in herbs and olive oil.

“For the appetizer tonight, the chef has paired rosemary and thyme in olive oil with lightly braised layers of salmon. For the soup, a chowder of mushrooms with squares of veal. You will then sample wild-caught freshwater crayfish that have been peeled and roasted in butter and garlic and a dash of lemon. Your salad tonight will be spinach and artichoke with eggs and warm bacon dressing.”

Winona nudged my leg and pointed to our appetizers. “Sweet Celestia, this is better than most of the meals I’ve ever had!”

“Good, isn’t it?” I kept my eyes on her but both ears trained on the mouse butler.

“And as usual, Chef Luckyfoot’s asks that you wait for your main course to be revealed only when it comes. He doesn’t want to ruin your appetites with the anticipation.”

Another clink of glass and the waiters all scurried back into the kitchen. The butler stayed in the dining room, ready to take special requests or hear the complaints of the guests.

A live chorus of songbirds perched over us in the rafters, singing pieces from this year’s greatest classical performances. They were nice and all, but I had to admit to myself, I was more of a fan of popular music than the classics. Canterlot pets always raved when their owners could perform classics on the cello, piano, and so on, but as a young feline, I was more than happy to embrace the progress of music.

But that was neither here nor there. I enjoyed the dinner and to my surprise, Winona managed to pace herself with her food. I half-expected, no, I completely expected her to swallow up her food, but instead, I caught her casting glances to the pets around us for queues on how to eat.

We chatted with the raven and a few of the cats, listening to a harrowing tale of how Moondancer very often forgot to attend to her pets whenever she found an interesting book. I, of course, kept quiet about the fact I knew the pony responsible for her mental break. Such details were best left out of polite conversation.

“Reckon I won’t be able to eat another bite after this next one,” Winona finally told me once we had finished our salads. Her dress, which was fitting but flowing at the start of the evening, had bulged out at the sides.

“Hang in there, dear, wouldn’t want to miss out on the dessert.”

“Wait, what’s for dessert?”

“Mango pudding from the Changeling Kingdom.”

She closed her eyes in fear. “Oh no. I dunno if I can make it.”

The waiters came out and carried the main course on a single large plate. They bore its weight on a plank of pine wood, the skillet still steaming hot.

“The chef has prepared the main course tonight with roasted almonds and walnuts in a combination of red wine marinade and dry spice marinade. This dear monitor lizard comes to you on a bed of dark leafy greens and pillows of the extra veal from today’s chowder, all topped lightly with salt, pepper, and paprika.”

“Well, how about that.” I certainly didn’t expect my luck to turn out so well. Winona, on the other paw, had a strange look about her.

“What’s the matter?” I leaned in to check if she was doing okay. “You’re not having reservations just because it’s a reptile, are you?”

“Opalescence, I don’t know how to tell you this,” she turned and nearly frightened the hairs off my back with the glare in her eyes, “but I recognize those stripes. On the back, I saw them-”

“Oh hold on, the butler’s about to cut into the first piece.” It was put on a plate and served to the head of the table, Cano, a royal hound in service of Princess Luna’s very own guard. He was the best bloodhound in the nation, they said, and his nose made him exceptionally picky about his food. If he didn’t approve of the meal, it wouldn’t be fit to be served to the rest of the table.

But I trusted in Luckyfoot’s work. The hound pulled off the crisp skin and exposed the rich ribs underneath. The smell alone was mouthwatering, so when Cano bit into the meat and gave a wag of his tail, the rest of the guests broke their silence and eagerly waited for the waiters to fill their plates with the dish.

Unfortunately for my evening, Winona had some sort of vital matter to discuss, vital enough to shake my shoulder and wrinkle my sapphire-blue evening dress.

“Opal, y’can’t eat it, please!” She begged me in a whisper. “I saw them stripes on that lizard back at the spa. He’s the one who gave me the massage!”

“I know, it’s hard to wrap your feelings around it.” I had to comfort Winona with whatever her issue was, but it was hard to concentrate with the plate nearing our section of the table. “It’s a shame such a talent had to be so depressed, but I’m sure he had his reasons. At the very least we had the privilege to see him before his last supper.”

“What are y’all on about, we can’t eat someone we know!”

I had enough, the main course had nearly reached us. I dug my claws into Winona’s paw shoving me. “Enough, darling. You’re a dog, and you’ve had plenty of fish and veal this evening. What does it matter if it’s a monitor lizard?”

“But we talked about our homes. He moved out of the Ponyville pet shop to Dodge Junction and joined a little filly’s family on her birthday. He was her best friend for seven years! Opal, meat for food is one thing, but this ain’t necessary. It’s killing for pleasure.”

“Oh, finally!” I couldn’t help myself when the slice of the breast was laid out with the veal and almonds. I removed my claws from Winona and bit into the juicy meat.

“Darling, listen,” I swallowed a mouthful before I could stand to lecture Winona. I pointed to the plate. “These good folk have their reasons to give up their lives, and the Hotel ensures they pass without pain. It’s a shame he had to work to earn his last supper, but if you’re worried about the treatment, I’m absolutely certain he enjoyed his meal with the manager.”

“Meal with the--Opal, y’ain’t listening to me!”

“Your plate won’t be nice if you let it cool too long.”

“I ain’t about to eat someone I talked to this morning!” I held my tongue, but she was being rude, turning her whispering into growling.

“That’s a complaint for the manager, sweetie. I’m sure he has something to compensate for the inconvenience. I don’t know him personally, but I hear he’s a very generous host and a legendary cook. He hosts dinner with seven guests every night.”

“Seven.” Winona’s eyes widened, looking at her plate. It seemed she finally appreciated how rare of a meal she had in front of her.

“There are seven dining rooms, ain’t there Opal?”

All I could do was nod, my mouth was full.

“And they serve seven dinners like this every night?”

I paused between bites and looked over at her. I knew she could count, why was she so slow to figure it out? “Shadow Spade herself couldn’t be more perceptive. Seven one-of-a-kind meals, darling. It’s shouldn’t be that hard to feel grateful.”

Winona stared at my plate, then hers, before mumbling something under her breath.

“What’s that, darling? I couldn’t quite--”

“I said,” she barked sharply as if she struggled to contain her voice, “they’re murderin’ seven pets every day. How can you be a part of that?”

I wanted to remind her, once again, that luxury meals at the Hotel were sourced from willing providers, and they weren't always all pets. But Winona stood up before I could and stormed out of the dining room.

I called out to her, trying to bring her back. “You know, that’s incredibly rude.” But she didn’t listen. “Can I at least have your plate?”

I could feel the raven staring at me from across the table. “Is there something wrong with the wine, or would she just prefer her Blood Mary?”

I glared at what the bird passed as wit. “Spare me you juvenile innuendos. It’s not like that.”

“Well, in any case,” he nodded his beak toward Winona’s untouched plate. “I suppose you’re one lucky cat, aren’t you?”

I subtly swapped our plates around and started on Winona’s share of the monitor. Her folksy habits were clearly at odds with the Hotel, but I’d have to help her tomorrow. Someone had to eat him. And he tasted so good, I didn’t see why it couldn’t be me.

Winona

This wasn’t right. Opal wasn’t right. None of it was right. I shuddered to think about what sort of meal the manager had for dinner. Opalescence said he served it to seven special guests. If eatin’ folk was already high-class, what’d they do for the highest?

No wonder Owlowiscious put my name on the invite list, he must’ve seen this before. He could’ve at least told me that they ate other folks. Gosh darn it, Ma always did find owls suspicious. Then again, her grandpappy William Senior got taken by an owl. A lot of emotion in that opinion, I guess. Oh, what was I doing, talking my head off?

“Where in tarnation did my collar go?” I didn’t want to bark, I didn’t want the other guests to see me. And I didn’t want to see them. No, I couldn’t see them. I couldn’t even look at Opal right then if I wanted to.

Fish and a couple of odd squirrels, that I get. Animals have needs. Not every animal lives in a society with ponies. But this wasn’t wild, and we weren’t mindless killers. If they talked and if they worked, it was like they were a part of the pack. A big pack.

If only I could tell Rarity, I reckoned she’d disapprove of her cat’s private activities. But I had to get out first. I grabbed my collar and looped it around my neck, and then I was out. Well, I left a tip for the custodian first like Applejack always said to do, and then I really ran.

Into a swarm of rats waiting outside my door.

“You are Winona, we presume?” The rats crawled over each other, speaking like one critter.

“Sorry if I caused you a disturbance, uh, Mister Rats, but I have a family emergency right now. Reckon my owner wouldn’t ‘preciate it much if I made her wait.”

I pushed through the horde but they pushed back. I tumbled over my paws and rolled back into the hotel room.

“Mighty tough for some little fellas, aint’chya?”

“You are requested by the manager. We have been sent to gather you.”

Nuh-uh, I did not appreciate that choice of words. “What’dya mean by ‘gather?’”

“Please do not test the patience of the Sir. Our exalted guests are expected to appeal a few expectations, in return for meeting all of yours.”

I looked around but there was no way out. The rats didn’t lay one paw in my room, it even looked like the ones at the front were holding back the rest, but I knew I couldn’t wait in there forever. They already sounded unhappy, and I wasn’t sure what happened when expectations weren’t meant. I needed to get to them believe I was gonna go along.

“You know, I bet you’re a really busy mass of rats. I don’t want to hold you up, but I gotta use the little doggy house if you catch m’meaning. Just point me to the manager and I’ll head up when I’m done, no need to bother yourself.”

“We will take you to the manager’s private lounge, O Constipated One.”

“What? No, th-that’s not a good idea. I can’t just use someone else’s. Erm… trust me, it won’t be a pretty sight. Dogs leave terrible messes, just ask cats. Why d’ya reckon they can’t stand us?”

I thought I put on a pretty good performance, but the rats didn’t take kindly to it. The swarm simply jittered, hissing and spiking out their hairs even more. Their’ eyes reflected the candles in my room, and I’ll admit that they looked really scary. A thousand burning eyes stared at me. I didn’t know what to do.

The only thing I knew was that Owlowiscious gave me the invite. If he was invited, he must’ve had some kind of special deal with the hotel, like a VIP subscription or something. Felt like a darn fool trusting my instincts, but it always worked for Applejack.

I took one step out. “Fine. I’ll let ya take me.”

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Thousands of little scratching paws, gnawing teeth and hungry mouths, that’s what a rat swarm was. ‘Least I thought so. Looked silly when I jumped head-first into the swarm. They just got out of my way let me hit the carpet.

For rats, they were polite. Not only did they avoid entering my room without permission, but during the entire walk to the manager’s suite, they didn’t come within a foot of me. The non-stop chattering was a little unnerving, but it couldn’t be helped.

Waiting in the elevator was awkward since the whole swarm couldn’t fit. Half got in with me, while the other half took the stairs. I couldn’t be sure, but even though they acted like one critter, the ones walking up sounded mighty unhappy about it.

“So, uh, know what the manager wants from me?”

“No. But we have some guesses.”

“I figured you’d know, considerin’ you seem like you do this a lot.”
“We do. He will be having you for dinner, like all the special guests.”

“Uh-huh, y’see, y’all’s gotta work on your wording, ‘cause I might jump outta this here elevator if I don’t like what y’mean by having me for dinner.”

“We mean that you will be served, to the best of the staff’s ability.”

“Heh. Still not better.” The rats were a funny bunch. I couldn’t help but pitter-patter paws around the elevator on account of being scared out of my hide. I tell ya, I didn’t want to be eaten. Dogs ain’t food, everybody knows that.

“We will leave you here,” the swarm said. They squeaked at the room in front of the elevator when the door opened. “Many things to prepare. You must prepare to meet him, in there.”

I got out as quick as I could. Sure enough, the rats went back down with the elevator, leaving me alone on the top floor of the hotel. The room the rats had pointed out was room G7, meaning guest seven, I supposed. But I was free now, and I had to get out.

Didn’t know what my plan was ‘till now, but it was clear I had luck on my side. Before the manager could find me I told myself I was going to escape. If he wanted me in room G7, then I’d have to try something else first.

I picked out the room across from it, G4, and cracked open the door. I could smell someone in there, but the scent was mixed up with so much perfume even Opalescence couldn’t have stood it. I backed out and held my breath before checking in.

Something flew at me immediately from my right. I ducked faster than a rabbit diving down its hole from a hawk attack and then turned to see who that was.

“Bloody hell, this isn’t your room.” A bat waddled out of the bathroom, towing a cat behind him. “I didn’t order another appetizer, get lost!”

He turned away, pulling the cat with him. I saw what he meant, that poor girl had leaches all over her, and he was probably using them to drain her dry. I knew my bats, rascals made homes all over the farm. In the trees, in the barn, I knew the difference between the fruit-suckers and blood-suckers. That little stumpy fella was a blood-sucker for sure.

Should I have done something for that poor cat? Yeah. But I was already on someone’s menu, and the blood-drinking bats always scared me more than the others. So I walked on out of there quieter than a snake watching a squirrel come its way.

I listened through the other doors. They were all full, I guessed they were the other special guests. Seemed like a lot. I wondered for a moment if the manager really was just going to give us dinner, or if he was a timberwolf or something and needed a lot of animals for his meal.

A voice came down the hall while I was snooping, they were calling my name. “Honestly Winona, you have really thrown a wrench into all of it today.”

I tried to hide, but the hallway was as barren as an apple tree after buckin’ season. I hurried to the very end of the hall and stuck myself behind a plastic plant, hoping they wouldn’t sniff me out.

She was a bird, a little magpie fella with a red hat and a clipboard under one wing. She was so short she had to fly up to the door handle on my room to open it.

“Darling? I have a tight schedule so I do hope you’re ready. The rats said you were, erm, having problems? If you’re not ready, there’s some medicine that can help you relieve yourself.”

I started feeling mighty embarrassed about telling the rats I had to, well, it didn’t matter. A lie was a lie, Applejack always said to her sister. Never to me though, I figured she knew I understood that.

“Oh dear, I hope you haven’t gone to see him yourself.” The magpie flew out of my room and fluttered around the hallway, muttering words that would’ve put soap in Applebloom’s mouth if she ever said ‘em.

She eventually stopped back at my door. “You’re such an idiot, Pree! Okay, think, how’re you going to tell the boss you didn’t greet his guest. Hm, maybe he won’t fire me if I can come up with something good.”

Uh-oh, I didn’t have a good feeling. If I wasn’t there, then who was gonna be the meal? I already left that cat with the other guest, was I really gonna let a bird take the fall for me? On that note, was I completely sure I was gonna be eaten? My invitation was special, but Owlowiscious gave it to me. I don’t think any creature would be crazy enough to eat the Princess of Friendship’s owl.

Alright, I had to own up. I accepted that invitation, I had to accept the consequences. “Y’all don’t have to worry,” I said.

The magpie snapped her head to me. “Oh thank goodness, you’re here! I heard you were from the countryside but I didn’t think you’d get lost in the hotel so easily.”

“Actually, I… yeah I got lost.” I didn’t want to give away that I was onto the manager. Eating folks seemed common with these types, if I said I had a problem with it, I shuddered to guess what they would’ve done to me.
“Well, don’t worry about it. I’m Pree, Mister Abacus Finch’s secretary, and premier coat caretaker at the Hotel of Animals. I can get you prepped for dinner with Mister Finch.”

“Finch? So that’s his name.”

She chirped a little laugh as she pushed me along into the room. “Oh yes, but don’t let the name deceive. He’s not a finch, but an owl. That’s a little V.I.P. secret for you.”

I took a seat in the bathroom, which was probably the nicest bathroom I had ever been in. Wasn’t no outhouse, the sink was granite, I think, and the fixtures were all polished brass or frosted glass.

“What do you mean by secret?” I asked Pree while she picked at my back. The spa treatment with Opalescence already cleaned up my coat, but I whatever Pree was doing was different, and it felt good.

“Mister Finch is a very private owl, even I never see his face when I work on him. He wears a mask and coat whenever he has company.”

“Strange ain’t it? He got a reason for being so secretive?”

“Not one specifically, rather, he’s quite paranoid about a number of issues. But that’s enough about him, you’ve got a couple of tough fleas back here.”

I wanted to know more, but I tell ya, Pree knew what she was going. I didn’t know I had fleas in the places she pecking, but once she was done, my coat was like a lamb’s wool. After a few minutes, I totally forgot what I else I wanted to know.

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I liked Pree, but the more I waited for Mister Finch, the more I felt something wasn’t right. Being all secretive-like wasn’t a good sign, and on top of that, his suite was completely hidden away. A giant mirror covered the wall on one end of the halls. I would never have guessed that it was a door, but Pree led me right up to it and opened it with a little switch behind the frame.

It all gave me the creeps. But to Pree, it seemed normal. Then again, I started thinking about what Opalescence thought was normal, and I wasn’t too sure if trusting the magpie was a good idea. I wanted to, she seemed like a hard-working gal and that was something we had in common, but living with rich folk makes you see the world in a weird way.

“Oh thank goodness, the other guests have only just arrived.” Pree’s ruffled feathers settled a bit when she saw the other animals still sitting down.

I followed her, but my eyes were on the lights. Mister Finch had some weird tastes, but I would’ave been lying if I said it didn’t impress. Black granite walls with little sparkles in them that looked like stars. Might’ve been bits of gold or crystals, either way, I couldn’t tell.

Despite being inside a suite, when I entered the dining room the air turned cold like we were in the middle of the woods. The walls couldn’t hide the air vents, but they weren’t easy to spot. Instead of one vent, Finch had a bunch of thin gaps above and below the walls that blew out cold, humid air.

And it wasn’t just the feeling of the air. The plants around the suite were all scented like pine trees. They weren’t actual pine trees, but my nose was sure tricked.

“What’s this, you were in my room earlier?”

I recognized the bat’s voice and turned to him while Pree brought me to my seat. “‘Pologies for that, lost my way a bit, you know?”

“Luckily you didn’t ruin my appetite. Mister Finch has been expecting me for weeks now.”

Another animal cackled right beside me. I didn’t see her, but she seemed pretty sure about me. I felt her paw on my shoulder as she spoke.

“He imagines he’s important because of Mister Finch’s nocturnal tendencies. Yet here I sit, a fox, and a regular of our host and no more or less nocturnal than a bat.”

Pree patted me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear. “This is your seat darling, you’ll be by Madam Jack.”

I sat down and looked over to the fox who talked to me. I could barely see her, but I had my nose. “But I’ve seen foxes out in the day.”

She coughed with the same way Opal did whenever she saw me. “Don’t be silly, I’m not some city mutt, digging around pony garbage for scraps. An au naturale fox such as myself knows the night like the back of my paw.”

“I live out on a farm, reckon that’s far from the city.”

“Sweetie,” she giggled, “you have a roof over your head and never hunt for your meals. To me, you’re all city.”

I wanted to bark up, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that logic. Besides, Applejack said not to bark at the dinner table, so I just her keep to her prattlin’.

The other four guests didn’t say much to me. One of ‘em I sniffed out as a hawk, he was sitting between two cats, talking about what he could see from the sky. I didn’t like the look of the fella, but the cats were practically hanging off his wings at every word.

The snake nearly dodged my sight, but I knew how to spot out pythons, kept the farm clear of them for years. I could’ve smelled him, but the dim lights sparkling through the granite walls glowed on his polished scales. He was less talkative than I was. He just stared. Made me uneasy, but I didn’t want to be rude. Not like he could do anything else.

“Pree. Have all my guests arrived?”

Just then the whole table silenced. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard him. I couldn’t see him, but his voice stood up the hairs on my back, like someone was whisperin’ in my ear.

Pree fluttered over into the side of the room where I couldn’t see. Everyone else looked like they knew where she went, but my eyes weren’t used to the dark yet.

“No problems that couldn’t be solved, sir. They’re all here.”

“Very good. You may leave us now.”

“Of course. Enjoy your dinner, Mister Finch.”

Light split the room for a second when Pree opened and closed the door to leave. I saw the manager for a moment, an owl in a black suit, full of white frilly stuff that made his chest puff up. The mask he wore was plain white, like a plate, but it fit his head perfectly and had a wedge along the bottom for his beak.

For an owl, he was big, easily the largest bird I had ever seen. Even the hawk, who seemed like a confident fella, shrunk into his seat.

But when the door closed it might as well have been night time again. My eyes hurt, trying to switch back to seeing in the dark.

“It’s good that you’re all here, my friends. I understand you have been very busy, so let’s take this time to ourselves. Kelp fritters from Mount Aris will be our appetizer, followed by a sample tray of three soups, salmon and sea bass bouillabaisse, triple-spiced clam chowder, and whole oyster stew.”

The hawk shuddered and tapped his talons on his seat. Rest of us hid it better, but even I couldn’t help but feel hungry when the manager said sea bass bouillabaisse. I’d never had any bouillabaisse, but it sounded like fancy talk.

“Come on, old friend,” the bat squealed, “you know what we want. What’s the main course?”

The way Mister Finch laughed at the interruption, my paws tightened at it. A predator having fun, a killer enjoying himself, I wanted to run. Everyone around me looked happy and comfortable, but still, I wanted to run. Not because I thought I was gonna be eaten, but because I knew I wasn’t.

“You’ll enjoy this one very much, Mister Bat. A fresh one.”

Petrified, horrified, death in eyes of the owl glorified. The body on that tray over there, across the room, pale white to be sacrificed. Opalescence. Muzzled and strapped down, she looked scared out of her wits, but she was tied down so hard it looked like she couldn’t even struggle.

“I must apologize to one of our guests before we begin.” I froze as Mister Finch pointed his wing at me. “I think everyone here remembers that we were short one guest at the reception this morning. Winona, I’m afraid my staff was waiting for Owlowiscious when you arrived. Only later did I receive his letter that he had given you the invitation.”

“Oh, yeah,” I wasn’t sure what to say, my eyes were just focused on Opal, “but it’s fine. Never been to a hotel like this before, didn’t know what to expect. I really don’t mind.”

“But I do, especially for a new guest.” Mister Finch pushed the tray with Opalescence into the middle of the table. “It was my duty to make you feel welcomed, but the staff couldn’t find where you were. It wasn’t until dinner that they found out you were being dragged around by this cat.”

It wasn’t right. I wanted to throw up, look away and run, but now I had to stay. I had to save her. I didn’t like it, and it sure was ironic seeing her on that dinner tray, but I had to do what was right. The other cats, by the hawk, I looked at them. If anyone was gonna object to this, they had every reason to.

But I must’ve been downright stupid thinking anything right could come from these folks. No. Their eyes were hungrier than Mister Finch’s. It was like their hawk friend didn’t matter, the way they leaned on the table reminded me of Applebloom looking at a fresh batch of Zap Apple Jam.

“How will she be cooked?” asked the fox.

The hawk guffawed. “How else? We’ll roast her with a marinated bacon wrap. Best way to keep the meat moist.”

The fox gasped back at him. “You’re dreaming if you think I’ll bite into that drivel. Bacon, I can’t think of something more mundane.”

Mister Finch broke the two up before I came out of shock from all the talk about cooking my friend. He stuck a knife so close to Opalescence that my heart nearly stopped ‘cause I thought he had killed her.

“I will decide how she will be prepared, and it is my professional opinion that all of you will enjoy it.” He didn’t have teeth, but it sure sounded like he was growling through them.

I looked at Opal and caught her eyes screaming back at me. Never working a day in her life, she couldn’t undo the bonds. But I knew I could bite right through some of those straps, even take off the muzzle. I started thinking, I could probably make up another excuse to get away from the table. A doggy emergency ought to do the trick. I could find Pree, beg to help.

But Mister Finch came around to all of us with a set of knives. I saw the gleam in the fox’s eyes, and I knew there wasn’t time. Even the other cats, especially them, looked ready to pounce. I realized then why this was even more special than the rest of the hotel’s meals.

Mister Finch threw in the extra thrill of killing your prey before they got cooked.

I stopped thinking about how I was gonna get back home. First, I had to stop Opal from getting stabbed. The moment that knife was laid out in front of me, I grabbed it in my mouth and shoved it into the fox.

I jumped up on the table and pushed Opal off her tray, grabbing her by the straps. I sunk my teeth in deep and yanked her around like a chew toy until a belt snapped and she was free.

“What is the meaning of this?” The hawk spread his wings and perched on top of his chair. I could already feel his talons around my neck, but I stayed there by Opal until she was able to run.

“Thank you.” She was already breathing hard, clawing off the other straps on her legs.

I kept my eye on the hawk, I needed to be on my toes to keep Opal safe. But in the back of the room, something glittered. Mister Finch was by the fox, holding her in his wings and a green jewel in his beak.

“Stop this!” Mister Finch swung one wing and suddenly the hawk fell down, going limp right next to my paws. The cats too, though they flew off the table because they tried pouncing before it happened.

The snake fella didn’t go down as quickly, but as he coiled up to strike Mister Finch screeched again and the legless bastard collapsed back into a coil. I couldn’t see Mister Bat anywhere, but after all that I reckoned he fell over too.

It was just him, standing there over the fox’s body. He left her to rest in her chair and glided across the dining room, planting himself right the way between us and the door. But now it was just him, and I was ready to get out of there.

Time and place for everything, Applejack said. I was pretty sure she’d be okay if I barked at the dining table just this once. I started at him, howling and whooping like he was a timberwolf tryin’ to get onto the farm.

“Winona, calm down.” He backed up, and as long as he did that I wasn’t gonna listen to a thing he had to say.

Opal surprised me, too. She jumped straight at the owl, claws out and everything. There was anything in the world that could’ve stopped that cat, ‘cept the shock we both got when she hit the mask.

Looked like his whole body just fell apart. The suit and frilly things, they dropped to the floor like the rest of the animals. I wanted to go, but now that it looked like Opal got the better of him, I thought there was no harm in seeing what kind of monster would kill another animal like that.

I wish I had just left.

“Opalescence, you idiot of a cat, look what you’ve done!” Mr Finch shrieked.

We both froze because we both knew the hoot-hoot of that voice. Still, we didn’t believe it, not even when Owlowiscious crawled out from under his costume with those big eyes full of rage.

“You really know how to ruin a plan, darling.” He coughed out the jewel onto the ground. “We’ll talk about this later.”

I’m not sure what happened after that. If I had to guess, I reckon we got knocked out, same as the others folks.

The Manager

I dragged them. All of them. Not the dog and the cat, of course. Their city lives were long, pampered by inordinate attention and grotesque abundance. It’s not that they weren’t my friends. Well, the cat could have left me alone and I wouldn’t have minded. But they were, in some ways, my companions.

The bat, the other cats, and the snake and fox, I dragged them by their richly-fed hides to the front door. Fattened by my plan. I always had one. Even for this eventuality, I had one. It wasn’t supposed to happen so soon, but it would happen.

My assistant, Pree, came at once when I called for her. A little string on a bell inconspicuously hung in the far corner of my dining room was all she needed to hear. Our little secret.

“Yes, Mister-” she stopped her words the very moment she entered. My guests were crumpled vestiges of their former selves, but she had seen much worse before. No, it was my eyes, the fixed ocular globes which saw through the pitch of the night.

“I’m so sorry, sir! I heard the bell ring so I assumed you were ready.”

Now that Winona and that shallow Opalescence had found out, the truth seemed a trifling concern.

“Steel your eyes against this predator. I don’t want to hide myself any more.”

She turned back, seeing me for the first time. The magpie’s beady marbles flicked around the feathers of my face, struggling to see as well as I could. I waved a wing, and the jewel I had in my talons responded. Light, its source well hidden behind granite walls, blazed through the quartz crystals set in the stone.

My meticulous sanctum returned to clarity just as I returned to my identity.

“Send a letter to Angel, tell him the kitchens will have a few new dishes to try tonight. But make no mention of Winona or Opalescence.”

“I do believe you gave him the week off, sir,” Pree managed to continue, though I sensed a bit of unease in her voice. “He’ll be spending time at that cottage with his pony.”

“That little bunny has it in for predators. He won’t mind the overtime when it’s the top of the food chain that he’s butchering.”

For all my sins, even I shuddered at the thought of that rabbit’s buried desires. I wished he could stay away for a little longer. I wanted Winona to see the work I was doing from a gentler light first. Angel would complicate things.

Or maybe he’d make it too simple? I guess when it came down to the details, my plan really was just blood and talons. But if I let that reckless puffball have his way, it’d only be chaos.

Pree snapped my mind back to the present condition. “And your other guests?”

I followed her eyes to Opalescence and Winona. “Tell the rats to take them back to their rooms. Knowing Winona, I think she’d find her space little more comforting than,” I gestured to my night-themed suite, “all of this.”

Pree nodded, dutifully as ever. As she left to write the letter, I couldn’t help but ruffle my feathers. I likened regret to a second shadow that you could never see until it covered you wholly. As an owl, it felt doubly irritating.

I should have trusted her years ago. I should’ve been trusting with everyone. Ahem. Perhaps not Opalescence. Slowly my door swung closed and I was left with my lonesome self. I opened my wings, catching in my talons the jewel that fell out of my feathers.

It shined with a knowing look like it was judging me for using its magic.

“You’ll see,” I said out loud, perhaps to myself as much as the jewel “One day, you and I will be done.”

+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++

I couldn’t reckon when I woke up, but I laid right there on that floor for a mighty long time before my heart kicked me in the chest like Big Mac on zap-apple season. The last thing I remember was eating dinner with a bat and a fox.

It was almost like a dream. But once my brain caught up with my body, I remembered. Abacus Finch was no finch. He was Owlowiscious.

Which didn’t make a lick of sense. Owlowiscious gave me the invitation in the first place. And I would’ve believed it was a dream if that very same owl wasn’t waiting for me across from my bed drinking tea.

I wanted to stay calm. “Oh, sweet apples! Don’t eat me!”

Reckon I tried my best.

“Right, I suppose that’s warranted. But I won’t hurt you. I’m sure you don’t think I’m telling the truth, but I hope you’ll let me explain myself over a cup of tea.”

“Naw, don’t go an’ play coy with me,” I told him true. “Where’s Opalescence? Y’all eat her already?”

He barely moved, sittin’ there with his spoon, stirrin’ the cup real slow while he watched me from his seat. I was half the room away, and for a moment reckoned I could make a jump for the door. But those eyes, I tell ya, they froze me right in my tracks.

Owlowiscious ruffled a soft hoot. “Oh, if only. That pompous puss hasn’t been much use to my plans. Still, she’s a friend, of sorts.”

“Right, an’ when y’all’ad her on yer dining table, that was just a joke, wasn’t it? You really think a farm dog like me’s gonna fall for that? Just ‘cause I ain’t ever lived in a library sortin’ books all night don’t make me a fool, y’hear!”

“It wasn’t a joke,” he said, sounding like he was actually sorry. “You’re right, I was going to serve her instead of my usual plans. My anger escaped me when I found out she took you to dinner before the rats could escort you. I knew you weren’t ready for the Hotel’s methods, my methods, so I wanted to ease you into it myself.”

“Wha- so you were gonna make me eat someone too? What in tarnation is wrong with y’all?”

I flinched as Owlowiscious scratched the coffee table with his talons. Problem with birds was that their beaks didn’t flinch. I reckoned he was mad at me for cutting him off, but for some reason he couldn’t look me in the eye.

“Let me explain. This place, this Hotel, has been my life’s dream. I even sought out Twilight and her library to make it happen.”

He opened his wings and dropped a green jewel on the ground. I recognized it, the same darn jewel he used on all the animals in his suite. I didn’t even wanna ask what happened to the others.

“Her company was enjoyable, but to be honest, I was only looking for a book about this little artifact.” He tapped on the jewel. “It’s similar to the stones in the Alicorn Amulet. I found it in the Everfree Forest, but had no idea how to use its enchantment. Even Twilight didn’t have the book I needed until Celestia sent a shipment of new books to the Castle.”

I would be lying if I said it didn’t look pretty. Even though it was green, the jewel sparkled clearer than a lake on a moonlit night. Wasn’t ‘bout to forgive him, though. He killed critters and ate them, but worse, he made deals with them so they wanted to die. A life can’t be bought.

His piercin’ yellah eyes watched me, as if he were looking straight through my heart.

“I know you don’t fancy yourself a city animal,” he hooted roughly, “but you’re far from wild, Winona. Judge me all you want, but the deepest parts of the Everfree has no laws. I know you might call me evil, but the Hotel of Animals is the only symbol of order to the predators.”

“Is that so? Bet none of y’all heard that Fluttershy had her Sanctuary, now did you? Reckon there’s a lot more order there than here.”

“And when predator or prey leave the Sanctuary, they leave behind the rules as well. What keeps the peace in wild? Who decides which prey gets eaten and which predator goes hungry?”

“Yer talking about controlling lives? That don’t make you right, it makes you a dictator.”

“You don’t understand the lengths I had to go to just to reach this point.” Owlowiscious ruffled his feathers. He picked up the jewel and put it on the table, pointing with his wing at it.

“This jewel put my dreams of order into motion. It gave me the power to make the rodents of the forest obey me. The beavers brought the wood, and the rats and mice gave their lives hour by hour so that the Hotel of Animals would be the most astounding home of decadence and debauchery.”

Every word out of the owl’s mouth was like a nightmare. I called him friend, but all this time we were being lied to. He told me how the jewel gave him the magic to get respect from other predators. Its magic made fighting impossible. One spell and any creature would be down. And one by one, they listened to his offer.

But it was the Hotel that would buy their loyalty. The strongest animals though it was their right to be served like kings. They ate. And ate. And by the time they realized the months had turned their bellies fat, it was too late.

Hunting prey had fallen out of fashion. Like a raccoon in a trashcan after leftover night, snakes and bats and foxes all wanted their meals braised, seasoned, stewed, and roasted. But I reckoned the bubble baths and grooming helped bunches, too.

“The animals I serve as dinner have been generously compensated,” he firmly said. “Instead of mercilessly dying in a hawk’s nest, they dine on the finest meat and berries in Equestria. Their families are under my protection, and I can even arrange for their offspring to be moved to some faraway city or farm with no predators and ample food.”

The more he talked, the more it felt like he was proud of what he did. Couldn’t say how many times, but I felt my teeth grate ‘gainst themselves more than once. Downright made me mad that he had a rationale for butcherin’ folk.

“Most importantly, predators willingly wait to eat what I tell them to eat. No more hunting, no more killing. All that’s left to do are the necessary sacrifices.”

“So what do I hafta do with all’ve it?” I snarled at him, I wanted him to know that I didn’t agree. “Just needed a few days off from the farm, and you offered me this? Thought you were my friend, but even that invitation was a lie!”

He waggled his wing feathers. “Not entirely. On paper, Mr. Finch has frequently sent Owlowiscious invitations to the Hotel. It’s how I keep the other pets from wondering where I spend my time.”

“It was a lie!”

“I am well aware, Winona!” he screeched back. “But I am done. Whether I like it or not, you’ve set in motion the next step in my plans, and I want my friends by my side for it.”

I rolled out the bed, not even caring if he’d snap at me for leavin’. “Don’t make me part of your schemes. I ain’t a conniving villain with a master plan, ya hear? I’m just a farm dog who wants to forget all this even happened.

“My richest clients are dead. I’ll be paying every songbird in the forest to sing about how their final supper was so extravagant that they couldn’t live with the fact that they’d never eat something so good again.”

I did my best to ignore him, grabbing my suitcase from the closet and heading for the door, fast as I could. But Owlowiscious was faster. A blinding light stopped me, and when I could see again, he was at the door with the jewel in his talons.

“With them gone, I will have new clients trying to climb to the top. New mouths to feed, but inexperienced mouths. The wave of VIPs will be less greedy, meaning I will have to sacrifice far less than before.”

Owlowiscious stretched his wings out, and it made me flinch back when he tried to hug me. His face twisted and he looked sad, more than anything else.

“I can’t make you stay. I only ask that you don’t hate what I have had to do. Lying to you all was never part of my plan. But even as I paid others to sacrifice themselves, I started to hate the savage predators who demanded more. I couldn’t dine with them happily, and I could never call them my friends.”

“But you still gave in to them.” His wings were still stretched out in a hug, and I saw what was under his mask. Finch was Owlowiscious’s mask, but Owlowiscious was another mask for the owl inside. Reckon that little bird didn’t have a name, ‘cause he didn’t have any friends to use it.

I stepped into his wings, gripping the jewel in his talons. Owls couldn’t move their eyes, but I still saw a world of feelings in his glaring marbles.

“So you’ll agree with it, then,” he said slowly. “I can’t manage it all on my own. A few friends to ease the burden would be welcomed. Pree hasn’t taken a day off in years.”

“Once the lie about the VIPs goes out, it can never stop, Owlowiscious.” The jewel was warm, glowing like it was reacting to something. Feelings, maybe. Heard Applejack reciting her lectures once, about how magic and feelings were tied together.

I wondered if he could see how I really felt. He looked at me like his eyes could see right into my soul, but I wondered if he even knew what a soul was. After all the things he did, there was a chance his soul was broken beyond repair, if it was ever there.

“I have full confidence you won’t have to tell the lie to anyone,” he said. “That's what the jays are for. They never stop singing.”

I thought about what I was about to do with Owlowiscious, and I wondered if I had soul too. The reasons made sense, after listening to what he had to say. But justifying bad things didn’t make them right.

If his beak could smile, I reckon he would’ve. Owlowiscious looked at my paw, clutching the jewel in his talon. “We’re stronger together,” he said, “maybe strong enough to never need this thing again.”

He let go, then looked back at me. “What do you say, ol’ pal? Partners?”

I held that jewel and stared. Reckon the guilt was what made me hesitate so much. But I eventually just opened my mouth and barked out the only answer I could give to that.