Not Her Fault

by RainbowFlashed

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance, Original Character
Length: 5486

A mare with a troublesome past may finally be able to overcome her struggles and seek new happiness.

Icy Stars was a batpony mare who was blamed for much that she had no control over. Finding a way to gain control, she may finally get her freedom.

Published 2017-06-26 12:40:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-02 04:16:49 UTC

The Dream

The soft melody of a classical melody whistled through an open window. The room in which the window was built was a rather formal bedroom with a lovely bed decorated with a black frame and purple-gold blankets and pillows. An ebony bookcase was filled with many books of science and few of fiction, all arranged in alphabetical order and coincidentally express ing a colourful pattern. A desk of matching ebony wood and a rather clean and slim computer decorated a corner facing the window, which was on a corner itself. There were posters and paintings of various scientists and philosophers on the walls, and on the ceiling a quite expensive gold and marble fan of extraordinary craftsmanship spun, with a elegant light in the middle.

The room was a rather enchanting sight, and really showed much beauty. Though it was such a great sight, it was not the one which truly brought beauty to the room.

A mare sat staring out the window, gazing up at the stars and wondering what truly was out there in the abyss. She wore no styling in her mane or tail, and was well groomed. She smelled of a sweet cherry to some but a lavender to others, and her fur softer than a fleece blanket. She wore a lavender coat and her mane two-toned with a cyan and violet shade.
Icy Star was a born imaginative mare. She always had something to imagine or think about. Her mind was always on the present and the future. She loved experiencing good things and loved to fantasize different futures.

“Icy, dear, it is time for dinner!” She heard her lovely mother shout. Smiling, she skipped to the stairs and made her way down toward the dining room. She nuzzled her little brother as he went to trot next to her.

“Icy, I think I am going to fly soon!” The little four year-old colt exclaimed, excited to be able to finally use his wings.

“That sounds great, buddy! Soon you will be flying with your big sister.” She ruffled his mane.

They then diverged to go to their own respective seats at the dinner table. Sitting next to her father, she smiled at her mother. “The dinner smells lovely, mom.” Then looking down at her plate, she smiled and gave a little cheer in her mind as she saw lavender and daisy salad coupled with a couple oranges.

“Thank you, darling.” Chilled Crystal told her daughter. “I thought I would give my only daughter one final meal before she moves into her own home fresh out of univer-vercity and get… getting her o-own j-j…” The mare teared up not much into the sentence and was now breaking down, not ready to let her only daughter go.

Spin Diesel quickly moved around the table to comfort his wife. He hugged her tightly and pat her back between her wings. She cried softly into her husband’s shoulder for the better part of five minutes. After she let her feelings out, she calmed down and breathed heavily. Looking at Icy, who was watching with worry, she said, “I-I am so so proud of you, my little filly…”

Icy smiled as Spin brought Crystal to his seat, switched their meals. The mother and daughter hugged, rocking for a little bit as Spin and her two brothers began eating.

Icy’s eyes opened wide before a humoured smile morphed her lips. Her mother had fallen asleep hugging her. She found that they had been hugging for twenty minutes and the other ponies were gone.

Looking at her mother, Icy saw one of, if not the most beautiful mares in the world. Crystal was always so confident and assertive toward other ponies, but her family always broke the barrier into her heart. She loved more than any other pony that Icy ever knew. Words could not express how much warmth and love the lovely mare gave to her husband and her foals.

Icy began eating with her mother hugging her sideways now. She took small bites and savored the flavor, knowing that Crystal poured her heart into this final home dish for her. After finishing, she pulled her onto her back and carried her to the living room and layed her by her father, who was watching television. He smiled and took her, carrying her to their room.

Icy trotted back upstairs and shook her fur out, feeling ready for bed. Grabbing her toothbrush and floss, she prepared herself for bed. After cleaning up, she lay down in her bed, turning the light off and falling into slumber, the window closing due to an automatic system for night. The music still played softly as she lay, comfortable and ready to step into the next part of her life.

Icy blushed deeply as her mother licked and groomed her fur, wanting to be able to do so one last time. She stared at herself in the mirror as the mare made sure to soften her coat.

The mare finished and said, “It is almost like it was when you were a filly. You still have the same smell as when I took you home from the nurse.” Nuzzling her daughter’s fur, she smiled and said. “Be something great, my dear, and reach for the stars. Do not let anypony discourage you.”

“Of course, mom. I love you.” Icy nuzzled her mother’s neck, squeezing her tightly before standing up and looking at her brother’s car, from which he waved. “Well… so long... momma…” Icy smiled and kissed her mother on the nose and licked her lips, just as she had always done when she was a foal.

The mother teared up and smiled, “I love you, my filly…”

Icy turned to her dad. “I love you, daddy… You are amazing…” She rubbed her nose to his and kissed the side of his lips, mimicking her actions toward him when she was a foal.

He clutched her to his chest for a good ten seconds, tears dripping down his cheeks and chin before kissing her on the ear.

Icy then trotted to the car, getting in the shotgun seat and waving to her parents as they watched, waving back.

Icy coughed as she woke up on a cold stone floor. She felt her cheek and sniffled as the wonderful dream she had washed away. She shivered and clutched her wings around her thin, skinny body, her fur short from being shaved. She whimpered as she backed into the corner of the small basement room. She began to sob softly, wishing the dream was true. She winced as she touched her bruised cheek, only pushing her mood down further. She saw the empty plate of food on the ground from the night before. Looking out through the small basement window, she only saw storm clouds and pouring rain. A small puddle was forming in the corner from some rainwater getting into the basement.

Using her night vision and the faint surrounding light, she saw the words ‘bat whore’ and ‘fanged monster’ written on the walls. She broke down and cried, wanting her father. He was the only of two ponies in the world to show her love or compassion and maybe still do, and he was far away, probably no longer even thinking about her, him having taken her loving brother permanently along his custody, and dropping the custody of her. For all he knew she was about to graduate from college.

Icy thought about her mother, and how she once treated her, before her father divorced her and Icy gained her more batpony features.

A memory began to form in her mind.

Sitting in her little crib, Icy cooed and smiled at her momma as she picked her up. She hugged her by her neck and pressed into her fur. The smell of her momma warmed the foal’s heart as well as making her feel loved and safe. She closed her eyes as she was carried into the bedroom. She smiled as she felt nestled and loved between her mother and father. The memory suddenly shifted and the mood felt darker.

Icy watched her as older brother, simply named Sky, ran to her and pulled her onto his back. She felt him carry her into the pantry and close it. She pressed close to him as they both heard their parents yelling at eachother outside the door. The colt was the only batpony Icy ever knew, and she loved him dearly. Then, the memory changed into a new one with an even darker mood.

Icy felt herself sitting in her daddy’s lap in a courtroom. She looked about and saw the lawyers talking to her mother and then her father and then the judge. After much of this, she saw her much trot toward her and pick her up, and she trotted out of the courtroom soon after, that being the last time Icy ever saw her loving father or brother ever again. The memory became dreadfully sad.

Icy was in a small jumper, looking up at her mother, teary-eyed but not crying. The mare was in the foal’s face. “This is all your fault! We always were close before you were born! You ruined everything!” The filly just whimpered and took it, not knowing what to do. It was then when she suddenly was struck in the face by the mare, and she yelped, never having felt such pain before. She began to wail and cry as a result, but this made the mare become even more infuriated and she got right into the foal’s face and screamed. “SHUT UP! YOU WILL NOT SCREAM OR CRY! IT WILL NOT HELP YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST!” She hit the foal again and the little filly was shocked before she instinctively began crying loudly again. This time she felt herself picked up and thrown onto the ground, breaking one of her wings and causing extreme pain. She was about to cry again before the mare got so close that her nose nearly touched the foal’s. The foal then stayed silent, whimpering from the pain but not wanting more. “M-momma…”

Icy cried on the floor of the basement room, She whimpered and cried but stopped as she heard a knock on the door. “Time to get up!”

The mare wiped off her tears as best she could and shakily trotted up the stairs. She opened the door and saw her mother. Even though she was now an adult, she was on the small side from malnutrition. She suddenly felt herself ushered to the bathroom, in which she did her business. She trotted out to see her mother again. “Alright. To work.” She nodded toward the back door.

Icy’s eyes widened. She was shaved short to “toughen her up” to cold temperatures, but in the morning and freezing rain, she would surely suffer. Though this was crossing her mind, she still trotted toward the door. The door was opened, and she felt a collar fit around her neck before the door was closed behind her. She yelped as the cold water hit her fur and made her quickly freezing. She shuffled down toward the garden, and, shivering violently, tried to trim the snowbushes.

Suddenly, she heard an electricity sound, and noticed it was the collar. Her eyes widened and she felt it. It didn’t shock her when she touched it. The cold rain must have shorted it! She used her hoof to pull on it and cut through it will a fang. She then ran off into the rain, crossing the street and running down the sidetrot. Her eyes widened as she saw the front gate to the community. When she got to the small gate for pedestrians, she pressed the open button to let her out. After having ran out of the place, she ran down one side of the street. She ran a long distance, adrenaline fueling her and distracting her from the freezing temp. It was just passing cars and wilderness here, and her hope began to falter right when she saw it.

There was much light through the growth and she ran right into a town’s downtown. She saw ponies with umbrellas and coats. Trotting into a cafe, she found herself forced out by the staff because she was dripping wet. She ran into this at many stores, growing weaker as she was refused any shelter of any kind. It was only when she trotted into the lobby of an apartment when she collapsed and passed out.

Icy yawned as she felt exceptionally warm, blankets wrapped around her and a heated pillow under her head. She looked around and saw a dull apartment. She wanted to see more, but knowing that meant abandoning some of this warmth, and she was not wanting of that. She suddenly heard some trotting from another room and turned her head to see a stallion standing at that entryway. He was a pegasus with grey fur and a jet black mane. He was very muscular and had a gentle, warm expression on his face. He could not have been out of his 60’s, but stood like a maturing 20 year old with some swagger. “Hey there. I found you soaking wet and cold as hell in the lobby.”

The mare just stared at the stallion, not knowing what to think of him. “H-hello… my name is Icy Stars…”

“May I approach?” He smirked, taking notice of her defensive fur standing up.

She nodded slowly and he trotted up to her, making her squeak as he adjusted her into a sitting position and sat next to her on what she noticed was his couch. “So why did I find you like this?”

The mare said, “I was escaping from somewhere. Ponies were using me for work and… getting out anger… during the storm my shock collar broke and I could get away.”

The stallion’s eyes widened and he said, “Well you are free from them now.”

The Trip

Icy yawned as she woke up, very comfortable and warm. She nuzzled the warm fluffy sheets and kept her eyes closed. Remaining like this for a few minutes, she kept telling herself in her head that this was infact not a dream.

Opening here eyes, she blushed deeply as she found herself hugging the stallion and him hugging back. He snored softly and didn't seem to notice as she quickly pushed away. Looking around, she saw the ringing alarm clock on the bedside table. She did know what alarm clocks were, but never knew how to operate them. She began shaking the stallion awake.

"Whuh? Huh?" He asked, then chuckling as she pointed at the alarm. He reached over her a clicked off the alarm. "Alright, time to get up."

Icy watched as he stood up and she did the same. Following him down the stairs with the luggage she could carry, they trotted toward the back door of the apartment building. Out there was a parking garage, and they put the luggage in the trunk of the car.

"You go ahead and get in the shotgun seat." He pointed to the seat and she opened the door and sat down in it, closing it after. He head back in the apartment to pack up his things while she looked around. Her eyes widened when she saw one of the workers from her mother's house trotting through the garage. He trotted right toward the car, and she whimpered and tried to scoot down in the seat, hiding and closing her eyes.

The driver door opened and she yelped in fear, but then calmed down as she saw Shadow looking at her with a worried expression. "Are you ok?" He asked calmly as she recovered from the shock.

After gulping and calming her breathing down, she nodded. "One of the workers from my mother's home was trotting right toward the car. I thought he saw me..."

"You are alright, dear. He was probably going toward the apartment door. Now, let us get out of here." He smiled and turned on the car, the engine rumbling softly.

Icy watched as they pulled out of the parking garage and started driving through the streets. It was only a few minutes before the buildings dissipated and the car was driving through the woods. The mare, meanwhile, was thinking about her luck in this situation. She was super happy to have a new chance at life. She watched the forest pass by as they wove their way through the forest. The car's radio played some folk and pop music, which she tuned out as she watched the road. They eventually drove out onto a highway, and Icy was surprised at all the cars and all the ponies.

"Wow... there are so many ponies," she proclaimed.

"Oh, there are many more than this," he smiled and replied, loving her interest in the world around them.

Looking into another car, she saw two ponies in the front and a small foal sitting in the back seat, facing backward instead of forward. "Why is the foal sitting backwards? Wouldn't it wanna see its parents?"

He chuckled, answering, "Little foals are safer that way. If a car crashed, the foal would be cushioned on its back and neck."

Icy nodded, understanding the reason. She looked into another car, smiling as she saw what looked like a stallion driving a car and a mare in the back seat, playing with a little foal, who was obviously enjoying it. She sniffled as she saw it, wishing her mother had not blamed her and her race for the divorce. She promised herself that if she ever had a foal, she would treasure it and love it with all her heart. They look so happy... she thought. Looking at the clock, she knew this would be a long drive. She pulled out the book Shadow had gotten for her and began reading it.

Icy's eyes opened wide as she felt a tapping on her shoulder. The book was on the ground closed and she had drooled on herself. Blushing as she saw Shadow chuckling, she quickly used a small paper towel to clean it.

"Hey, sleepy head. We are gonna go into that inn and get some food, along with allowing me to sleep." He opened his door and trotted to her side, opening hers and helping her out.

They both trotted into the inn and sat at a booth. He trotted to the counter and ordered some food before sitting down with her. She asked, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

He smiled and said, "Well, you are a very sweet and unique mare coming straight out of tartarus, and you need some help. Luckily convenience is just pointed in your direction."

Icy blushed and said, "Well... thank you." Her eyes lit up from the compliments.

He chuckled before his eyes diverted and he trotted to the counter, coming back with two very good looking daisy and lavender sandwiches.

She took one as he offered it to her, and ate it slowly and with attempted elegance. She did not realize Shadow watching her as he ate, only enjoying the yummy lunch. She looked up at him and he looked away, barely dodging a 'Why are you staring at me?'

"How far are we?" She asked, having been asleep for a while.

"We are over halfway there. You were asleep for a long time." He smiled softly and laughed as she blushed.

Icy smiled and nodded, finishing her sandwich. "What should I do while you are asleep. I want to read while we drive."

"There is TV in the room. You can watch that."

Her eyes brightened at the mention of TV. She had not seen TV since before her parents divorced.

They then threw away their trash and trotted up to the rooms, going into the room he got to nap in. They both got settled and he closed and locked the door. Giving and showing Icy how to use the remote, he quickly lay down and got to sleeping while Icy explored the many shows and movies on.

Icy had been watching a show when she felt the need to go to the bathroom. She trotted into the bathroom and did her business. Looking in the mirror as she washed her hooves, she realized something. She felt her cheek and realized that she did not look and feel starved and skinny. She smiled happily as her colours were coming back and her fur coming in thicker. She decided she wanted to try taking a shower by herself. She used her wings to carry the soap and wash her mane. Cleaning her body was quite easy, as her wings could reach about anywhere. After rinsing off, she dried off with a towel handled by her wings.

Icy decided to lay on the bed and watch the tv, but found herself looking at the stallion. She drifted off laying her head on his stomach.

The Outside World

Icy blinked as she watched Shadow Rose talk to a police officer. She was zoned out from the conversation, all of this having happened so fast. Still wrapped up by the warm blankets, she sat on the comfy couch and munched on an apple the sweet stallion had given to her. Her stomach was happy and full and her thirst quenched as Shadow had given her some food and water.

"Icy?"

She suddenly found herself whisked out of thought as the officer asked her name. "Y-yes?" She responded, blushing.

"Where do you live? Where did you come from?" He asked with a gentle and calm tone.

"W-wait... I don't want to go back. They will hurt me and yell at me..." She immediately broke into panic as she dropped the blankets and ran to the corner and gained a defensive stance. It was only now that the officer saw her frail and bruised figure. His eyes widened.

"No. I would not force you to go back to a cruel place. I only want to find out who did this to you." He trotted toward her, smiling softly and offering a hoof. She recoiled in fear, still thinking about the terrors of going back to the play she had just escaped from. One again being pulled back into reality, she replied.

"Oh. Well I d-don't know where it was. My m-mo-... her name is Chilled Crystal..." She shivered as she said the name.

"We will have to look that up. As for you, Icy. You are twenty-two years old, and therefore have the right to make your own decisions. You may stay with this stallion as long as he allows, or go somewhere else." The officer looks at his notepad and nods before trotting out the door.

Icy then looked at Shadow, who said, "You can stay with me as long as you would like. I do have a question, though."

"Uhm... go ahead and ask," the mare replied.

"Do you want to see your father? You sort of... called out for him in your sleep." He cocked his head as he wondered and questioned.

"If he were the same as he was the last time I saw him, I would love to see him again. His name is... uhm..." She scratched her head before her eyes widened. "Spin Diesel! That is his name."

The stallion gasped, "You are the daughter of Spin Diesel? He designed the engine for my car!"

Icy smiled and said, "Do you know where he is?" her tail wagging.

The stallion tapped his hooves on the ground excitedly and nodded. "Yes! He lives in Vanhoover. I am leaving tomorrow for Vanhoover so I can get a new engine I recently ordered from him. I can take you there with me."

"Oh, thank you sir!" Icy happily shook the kind stallion's hoof and smiled widely, happy to have the chance to see her beloved father again.

"So, since you were never allowed to go to school or well... anywhere at all, how then do you talk so well?"

Icy frowned and said, "Well... my mother had me homeschooled, and I could only read in my spare time, so I did."

He nodded and asked, "Would you like to go to the bookstore with me? Your father said he'd give me a deal if I brought him a book wrote and printed locally here."

Icy nodded at the chance to see new books. Even though they were a part of her suffering, she still loved reading, and could not get enough of it.

"Ok. Why don't you get cleaned up? You seem to not have bathed in a long time." He smiled at her.

She nodded and trotted with him to the bathroom. She looked fearfully at the shower as he turned it on. The faucet looked like a hose, and she was sprayed by hose when cleaned. When he nodded for her to go in, she looked at him with her same fearful look.

"Don't worry. It won't bite," He smiled softly and nodded toward it again.

She shakily trotted into the shower but immediately relaxed as she felt the warm water hit her fur. After standing there for a couple minutes, she began to get out, only to be blocked by him.

"Have you never used soap?" He asked, to which she shook her head. "Here then."

With that the stallion stepped into the shower and had the mare sit down, and gently began to rub some shampoo into her mane. She quickly eased into the warm and comfortable rubbing of her mane, a soft smile breaking her lips. She then sighed happily as he rubbed some soap into her fur, making it feel thicker but fuller. He stopped when he approached her flank and private areas. "May I?"

She nodded and he continued, covering her flank in the soap along with her hips and groin, missing her mare parts on purpose. She then closed her eyes as the water began to pour on her again, his hooves massaging her as he washed out the soap. He carefully cleaned her wings and smiled as she seemed to be more fluffy now. Turning off the shower, he stood up and shook before getting out, wrapping a towel around himself and inviting Icy to do the same. After shaking off, he wrapped a towel around her and helped her dry off. It made her quite happy to feel another pony assisting her in a way other than forcing her to do another job.

"Alright. I am going to finish washing up. You can sit in the living room and finish drying up." He smiled and closed the door behind her and she trotted back to the couch, sitting down. She looked at her fur and her eyes widened as she saw the fluffy fur she dreamed about. She smiled and touched it, softly brushing it and feeling across it. She then looked out the window and smiled as she saw the beautiful sky with only a few clouds. Her mane was flowing a little longer than she remembered, and her tail was not all knotted up.

"Well let's get to the bookstore. I want to be to bed by eight tonight. The trip will take a long time. Possibly about fifteen hours if we run into minimal traffic." He smiled and helped her up, letting her trot with him down into the lobby and then outside. She saw many ponies trotting around, and stayed side by side with the stallion, still afraid she would be caught by her mother, stepdad, a sibling, or one of their many workers. They eventually made it to the bookstore.

The clerk smiled at Shadow and asked, "Who is the lovely mare?"

"Oh. She is a visitor from the north. We are about to drive up to Vanhoover tomorrow. Just friends."

The clerk nodded and resumed sorting books on some of the shelves.

Icy simply followed Shadow until he got to the vehicles section. Watching him look through, she eventually found herself looking across all of the books, and soon enough, she had a book about stars in her hooves. She opened it and read a little bit of it. It only took a tap on the shoulder by Shadow to shake her and scare her. She looked at him before putting the book back.

He then grabbed the book and carried it with a couple other books to the front. Icy curiously cocked her head as he trotted away with it. She watched him give a card to the clerk and then put the books into a bag. Shadow held the door open for Icy and she trotted out with him.

Icy's eyes widened as he held the book out to her. "Wait... For me? But I never did anything for you..."

He put it in the hold of her hoof and said, "It is the least I could do to help you..."

She smiled and said, "Thank you..." Before placing it under a wing. She trotted down the street and took very little notice in the ponies, but instead looked at the scenery. The streets were four-laned, and the town was made up of blocks. Different shops and stores dotted the area and each had their own special scenery.

The stallion nudged her into a small cafe, which she realized as the one she had tried to go in the day before. A host sat them at a booth and she looked around. The seats were made of leather and the table of a type of wood she could not identify. Shadow gave her a menu and she looked across it, wondering what many of these foods were, only ever having fruit and the bad unwanted leftovers of her mother's design.

"Go ahead and choose whatever you want. Don't mind the price. I can pay for it." The stallion smiled at her as two water glasses were served to them along with some roses as appetizer.

"Uhm... a lavender salad?" She asked. The stallion was bewildered, not expecting for her to ask for such a simple and inexpensive dish.

"Ok. I will take a daisy grilled cheese." He nodded at the waitress who trotted away.

The mare looked at him and thought about the stallion. "Where are you from?" She asked.

"Oh, I was born in Manehatten and raised in Seaddle." He nodded as he said this.

The mare nodded and then asked, "What is your career?"

"I am a programmer. I make programs on the computer."

"I have always wondered how those work..." She scratched her chin again, looking very cute as she did so.

It was at this time they were served their meals. Icy smiled and took a bite of her salad and gasped at the flavour. It was delicious, and she loved the taste. She began to eat more, looking exceptionally cute as she ate more and more with a foal-like demeanor.

They both soon finished their food and Shadow left a few bits for the meal, then leaving. It was only a couple minutes before they arrived back at his home, full and feeling nice.

Icy smiled at the very kind stallion as he closed the door and she hugged him as tight as she could. She was so grateful for his hospitality and care. Never having experienced anything like this before, she felt quite relaxed and safe.

The sun was already nearing setting at this point. Icy was helping him pack his things and attempted to organize his clothes.

By sundown Icy was ready to turn in for the night along with the stallion, and she picked out a blanket she liked and was setting it on the couch.

Right as she was about to lay down, she felt a hoof on her shoulder. Turning, she saw Shadow blushing and smiling. "I think this couch is too dangerous for a pony to have a regular night's sleep. And I don't feel safe about you sleeping close to the front door. I would appreciate it if you could sleep with me for tonight."

The mare was blushing too, but she nodded. "Ok. I would do that."

She trotted into his room with him and he helped her get into the bed. As soon as she lay down, she gasped as the comfort of the bed accommodated her body, almost removing her soreness all by itself. The stallion lay down on the other side and turned off the lamp which was lighting the room.

She closed her eyes and smiled as she heard a snore before she too fell into slumber.

Author's Note

I am sorry if it feels rushed. The story just has not even advanced into its important part yet.