Pinkie Pie Discovers an MLP Fanfiction Website
That's Not What I Wanted to See
It was a bright summer's day in Ponyville. Birds were chirping, pegasi doing their daily grind clearing the clouds, and all the Mane Six were occupied with their own business. Last Pinkie heard, Twilight was heading over to the Everfree forest to gather some snazzy ingredients for a new spell she was testing out on Fluttershy, but that was probably the most excitement that day was going to bring. Pinkie, thinking about throwing another party, decided to reschedule for ponies' sake as they were all either out on vacation, working, or not willing to attend another due to the wild party thrown the day before.
Pinkie Pie was bored. She had nothing to do, no cupcakes to frost, no celebrations to prepare, no ponies to spread laughter to. She blew her mane for fifteen minutes straight, hoping the bouncy curls and frazz would provide her with class entertainment. She was wrong. "Oh, poo," she sighed, as it was barely the afternoon and she had truly nothing to do. "Why do days like these exist? I just want to throw the most fun and crazy party, or bake some delicious and scrumptious cakes or cupcakes, or polish my party cannon. But I've polished it 24 times already," Pinkie groaned.
Suddenly, it was if a light bulb had flicked off inside her. She got out of her seat and squealed happily upon this emotion. She inhaled, ready for take off. "I KNOW! I'LL GO ON THE INTERNET!" She yelled, bouncing up and about at this funny thought.
Moments later, Pinkie was dressed in a camouflage military suit, having taken a seat in her fluffy and pink beanbag, in front of her equally-pink desk, with a dusty computer that she hadn't used in weeks, or maybe even months. She powered the dinosaur on, waiting impatiently as the loading screen loaded and starter music ringed in her ears. Then, more annoying waiting, waiting for the lag when it's turned on to go away so she can go on Google quickly instead of having a delay. "Ugh, I hate this! But on the bright side, I'll finally have some FUN!" Pinkie waved her little, pink hooves in the air at the thought. "Come on..." she insisted quietly, tapping her hoof on the beat-up desk repeatedly, in the already-formed dent because of past tapping. Finally, the computer was all good and could be used to her heart's desire.
Firing up Chrome, the party pony was pumped up with all the adrenaline. Too bad her friends couldn't see the awesome fun she was having. Thinking about what to Google, she decided to click on the 'I'm feeling lucky' option. "Let's see, I do feel pretty lucky today, woo! Bring it on, you technological device that is a replacement for other things I could be doing, if only my friends were here," Pinkie sighed sadly, but her energy was quickly regained upon seeing the page loaded fully and filled with plenty of results. She smiled brightly, scrolling through the first page of searches. Suddenly, something in the midst of other things caught her eye almost instantaneously.
"MLPSuperDuperFiction..." she read. "Well, what have I got to lose! Clickety-click!" Pinkie mimicked her clicking with the white mouse. Almost instantly, she was brought to the front page of the mysterious website. "Hey, this is petty cool! Friendship really is magic..." she wondered in awe. She studied the page carefully, reading different words and titles scrawled around on a bright yellow background. "'CCC Discover Ikea', 'Princess Tea Party and Winona', 'Rainbow Dash Somehow Fell Off a Skyscraper'...Huh?!" Pinkie gasped nervously. She clicked on the final title she read. She then proceeded to click on a button reading 'Read This Story Now'. Her eyes moved back and forth as she read the story in detail. Although, it was so well written that she wasn't certain if it even was a story or not, being so scary for her, frightening the living daylights out of her as she nibbled on her hoof. "What is this! Oh no, Dashie, are you okay?!" She screeched as she ran out the frosted door of Sugarcube Corner. She frantically ran around to find Rainbow Dash, who was perched on top of a roof; not Pinkie's desired spot for her at the time.
"DASH! COME DOWN RIGHT NOW! ARE YOU OKAY?" She yelled. All the nearby ponies were a little shocked due to the high pitched voice and the genuine worry. "JUST... DON'T JUMP! FLY!"
"What?" She heard in response. Dash took off her sunglazed and sat up. "Pinkie, what are you doing? I'm trying to relax. Ugh!" Dash groaned.
"I just need to see if you're fine, fly down please!" The blue pegasus hated to see her close friend hyperventilating, as it was both disturbing and heavily worrying. Reluctant, she made her way down, glaring at Pinkie Pie as she flew. Rolling her eyes, she watched as Pinkie poked her and touched her wings and hooves quickly, checking for bruises or scratch marks. She also took out a thermometer and proceeded to take Dash's temperature.
"Why are you so stern? What's wrong? And why, oh god why are you wearing that weird military outfit?" Dash asked, looking down at Pinkie Pie who was investigating her still, making sure to be very careful. It was beginning to get a bit awkward, so Dash snapped at Pinkie and used her hoof to pry Pinkie's off of her body. "Too close," she announced.
Pinkie put her hoof over her forhead and wiped the sweat off. She had run three and a half miles to find Dash, all around Ponyville. "What? Heh, nothing is wrong, nothing at all! Hehe, why would you think so?" As Dash opened her mouth to say exactly why say he thought so which was pretty obvious as Pinkie was still acting like a doctor to make sure she has no tiniest papercut-size injuries on her, she was interrupted. "Also, this outfit is nothing! I'm glad you're fine, hehe, stay safe!" And so, Pinkie ran off, leaving Dash both annoyed and frustrated.
"God, Pinkie," she whispered to herself.
Back at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie carefully approached the dangerous computer with caution, as it remained open on the page she left off. She glared at it back, expecting it to attack. "Okay, let's see what else this has to offer. Oh, please be normal!" She begged, on her knees. Finding her way to the front page again, she took a look at something else that caught her eye easily. "'How to Dissect Discord'," she mumbled to herself. "The picture looks scary, and the title is super scary, I better NOT click on this!" Although she forced herself not to, she still proceeded to casually click the title after eleven seconds of not doing so. "I hate myself, " she sighed.
"Oh my god! Get this out of here! It's soooo scary, this would never happen...right?" Pinkie gulped as she just finished reading the final words of the story, after about three hours. Shaking, she decided to have a break.
"Why did I do this?" She asked to herself, and kicked herself also. Sulking, she looked outside the window. Ponies seemed to be walking around bored, so she thought they might be looking for a party invite after all. Pinkie smiled. "YES! A PARTY, WOO!" She ran out the door, stopping every pony and inviting them to a party for the next hour on. She begged all of her best friends to come, and anyone else she could find. She asked Discord, the princesses, Zecora, the CCC...you name it.
The party was in full blast. All ponies were roaring ano dancing in the decorated party room. Pinkie was satisfied that she could get her mind off the dangers of the Internet. Laughing and playing games with all her friends, she was pumped up and enthusiastic put it all.
Suddenly, Twilight broke the loud silence and began to start up a conversation. "I was on the Internet not too long ago, and I came across this website called 'MLPSuperDuperFiction.org'. I was studying though, so I couldn't get a proper look. I wonder what it was though, might be something interesting we can all learn about!" She explained, happily reliving the memory. Pinkie gulped.
"NO! Don't ever go on that website! It-- no, I mean... I've heard bad things about it!" Yelled Pinkie. Twilight seemed unconvinced. Pinkie needed to think of something that wold make her freeze and stay away. "Uh...it's a drug dealing website!" She yelled and covered her mouth. All five of her friends looked at her suspiciously.
"Haha, must be good craic," chuckled Rainbow Dash, and slurped her punch. Applejack laughed her heels off when she got the pun, followed by Rarity. Eventually, all ponies exploded into a heavy laughter.
"Oh my gosh, you're so right!" Laughed Pinkie Pie, and exploded into laughter also. She was glad the topic of entering the website hopefully came to a halt, and now it was just something to joke about. With good hope, she thought, nopony would dare to click on the website, knowing - or at least, believing - that drugs take place there.
"Okay, one last time. And this time, no scary stories. They give me the chills..." Pinkie Pie found herself by her dear old computer, for the third time that day, in the evening. She was hoping her curiosity wouldn't beat her this time, and she was willing to fight against it if necessary. Thankfully, she managed to keep her promise for a long time, and in fact, read some funny and full-of-life stories, which she particularly enjoyed.
She decided to go for the last run and head over to the frightening homepage, once again. She cracked her imaginary knuckles and got to work. But first, "Heh, or should I say, 'craiced my knuckles'? Bahaha..." she snorted, reminding herself of ther killer joke Dash made previously. She really hoped that no other pony headed to the website, though.
Scrolling through, she read her final story. "'Super Hot Pink & Saturated Blue'," she read, wondering how it could be bad one bit. She doubted it was a scary story, much less something she would regret. "I love the hot pink colour! I'm sure this story is filled with a lot of pink, I HAVE to read it!" She exclaimed, and got to work.
Two hours later, she was still speechless. Only Rainbow Dash floated in her head. And the images...she tried to erase everything she just read. "This is not okay," she whispered. She wasn't sure why she continued reading. She regretted everything. "What have I done," she thought. She was traumatised. She discovered a clopfic, and was not happy one bit. Well, maybe a little bit...
"There, that should do it," the pink pony said. She turned around as she heard footsteps. Fluttershy was approaching.
"Pinkie Pie? W-what are y-you doing?" She asked politely, peering over behind Pinkie Pie. The smell brought her here.
"Just setting my computer on fire," Pinkie answered proudly. She couldn't stand having that website on her history and popping up in her mind. "I should have gone into incognito mode," she said to herself.
"What? But why? W-what happened?" Fluttershy stammered.
"Oh, nothing much," smiled Pinkie. "Just..."
"Yes?"
"It was time for Pinkie to leave. She had seen everything." And so, she walked off.
Author's Note
This story was removed due to being meta, so the general idea has been turned around a little bit, details changed.
