Ship of Fools

by Hap

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Rarity, Romance, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Marble Pie
Length: 6654

Everypony on Rarity’s ship is in love with someone impossible. Some earn their fortune and go back to claim their love. Others find love along the way, or outgrow their crush and move on. Rarity? She’s in love with the sky.

Everypony on Rarity’s ship is in love with someone impossible. Some earn their fortune and go back to claim their love. Others find love along the way, or outgrow their crush and move on.

Rarity? She’s in love with the sky.

An entry into Jake the Army Guy's "Obscure Shipping" contest.

Published 2017-06-28 18:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-28 18:30:05 UTC

Ship of Fools

“Lady Rarity,” the stallion shouted, his perfectly coiffed mane refusing to budge even in the gale that whipped around his ears. “We’re nearly alongside them.”

The mare took a deep breath and cast one last, lingering look at the horizon before turning away from the wooden railing. She stood tall and lifted her chin, squinting just so into the breeze. Experience had taught her the exact angle to stand so that her trademark curls whipped in just the right way without getting tangled or frizzed.

It was these dramatic details, rather than any financial reward or even the promise of adventure, that inspired ponies to acts of daring in her service. The streak of gray in her mane lent an air of silent authority that no hat could equal. She eyed the ponies on deck. They were well-trained, lean and fit, and coiled like tigers ready to pounce. They were also wearing the most magnificent outfits.

Rarity grinned and shouted, “They should have known better than to run from us!”

The shipwide cheer was cut off as a mare called out, “There’s the white flag! They’re slowing down.”

“Of course they are,” Rarity murmured under her breath before shouting, “Come alongside and match their speed!”

By the time her crew had roped the airships together, they had slowed to nothing more than a gentle drift above the Equestrian landscape. Rarity stood at the edge of the railing and examined the ponies on the other ship while her own crew lowered a lustrous, polished walnut plank.

A dozen royal guards in gold armor stood in a proud line across the other deck. Rarity strode across the plank and began to strut in front of the guards, one deliberate step at a time, clucking her tongue as she poked at one stallion’s armor after another. “Such ancient fashion. So much gold is tres gaudy. I’d be doing you a favor if I was to relieve you of it.”

The guards stood silently, motionless save for the occasional glance at one another. Rarity cleared her throat and said, “RELIEVE you of it.” A small army of ponies filed across the plank behind her.

“For crying out loud, just take off your armor already!” Twilight Sparkle stepped down from the poop deck and strode across the ship to stand in front of Rarity while the royal guards doffed their armor. “It’s good to see you, Rarity. Though I’d rather entertain you at the castle than be robbed by the Element of Generosity.”

Rarity chuckled and waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, this isn’t a robbery, darling.” She turned to a stone-gray mare in a velvety purple jacket with enormous flared cuffs. “Have this gold armor taken below and melted into ingots, and have the new designs brought up here.”

The mare nodded sharply, then galloped across the plank and began barking orders.

With a tug on the hem of her own jacket, Rarity straightened her neck and smiled at Twilight. “The sky is dangerous these days. We are simply doing our part to make sure ponies are safe and fashionable.”

Twilight sighed. “Yeah, I know. We’ve been through this before. Can we talk, in my cabin?”

“You don’t want to see the new guard uniforms?”

“I’m sure they’re nice,” Twilight said as she turned around and began trotting toward the stern. “And I’m sure you’ll take what you consider a fair price. Come on.”

Twilight stood by the windows at the rear of her cabin and waited until she heard the door close. She spoke without turning around. “When are you going to stop this, Rarity?”

“When I find what I’m looking for.”

Twilight turned her head halfway and looked at Rarity from the corner of her eye. “You know exactly where he is.”

Rarity’s smile didn’t falter, but her eyes fell to the deck for an instant before she stepped up next to Twilight and gazed off toward the horizon. “I meant metaphorically, of course.”

“Rarity, you know he’s—”

“I’m in love with the sky, and no matter how high I fly, how far I sail, I can never quite touch it.” She cast a sidelong glance at Twilight. “Being a pirate is about what you can’t have, darling.”

“Well, it looks like you’re all moved in, and ready for a working vacation.”

Rarity smiled as she let her eyes wander around the gleaming room. “I’m not sure it was necessary for you to do the heavy lifting yourself, when there are hundreds of crystal guards you could have ordered to help me out. Thank you, all the same.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it.” Shining Armor waved a hoof. “You’re practically family. Besides, it’s not like there weren’t volunteers, but I thought you’d want your privacy.”

Rarity turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Or, at least, a respite from the attention of stallions, you mean.”

Shining rubbed the back of his head with a hoof. “Yeah, I heard you’d been having bad luck in that department.”

A sapphire blue glow pulled open a cardboard box as Rarity began sorting spools of thread by color. “Bad luck is an understatement.” She sighed and leaned against the edge of the box. “I’m absolutely the worst at choosing stallions.”

“Well, uh,” Shining said as he poked at a bundle of fabric, “remind me not to make you captain of the hoofball team.”

Rarity stuck out her lips as she tried to suppress a smile. “I don’t imagine there was any danger of that to begin with.”

“I don’t know,” Shining said with a grin, “Twilight tells me you’re quite the athlete when the Sisterhooves Social comes around.”

“She certainly does tell you an awful lot about me, doesn’t she?”

Shining laughed. “All the girls, actually. And Spike. That story just stuck out to me because, well… You? The most fashionable mare in Equestria, covered in mud? I didn’t even see it, and I’ll never forget it.”

“Hmm,” Rarity murmured as she smoothed out a bolt of shimmery fabric. “Anything for my little sister.”

“Yeah, I’m right there with ya.” He stared out the window and took a deep breath. “When we were younger, she’d call me to look under her bed for monsters. Not mom or dad. I’d always check, and some nights when she was particularly scared, I’d pretend to fight a monster. Twily was never fooled, of course, but it always cheered her up. Nowadays? She’s the one fighting monsters.”

Rarity giggled. “Sweetie Belle has never called upon me to fight monsters, but—”

“But Equestria did.”

Save for the echo of distant hoofsteps elsewhere in the castle, the room was silent for a moment. Rarity cleared her throat. “I-I suppose, so. I hadn’t really thought of it that way before, but yes.”

“Eh, don’t let one blind stallion get you down.” Shining tossed his head with the smooth precision of somepony used to taking care of those out of their element. “You’re an action hero. You’re an artist. You— Well, a mare like you is going to find your perfect stallion.”

“I’m blushing!”

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been married long enough to know what it’s like to have somepony who knows who you are, who you really are. I’m sure you’ll find him, Rarity.”

“O-of course.” Rarity exhaled, her heart pounding in her ears and only increasing the burning on her cheeks. “Some mysterious stallion who will see that I’m an action hero. Just what every mare dreams of.” She cleared her throat again and pushed a lock of mane behind her ear. “A working vacation. The Crystal Empire will have a boutique in no time.”

Twilight poked at her glass, watching the brandy inside cling to the sides as it slunk down. She pulled her hoof back and curled it under her body before squirming deeper into the cushions. “How’s Marble? She seems very, uh, vocal.”

Rarity smiled, and both of her ears perked up. “I couldn’t ask for a better first mate. She’s grown ever so much since I first took her on. She—” Rarity caught the slightest downward tug at the corners of Twilight’s mouth, and sank back down into the pillow beneath her.

“Pinkie asks about her every day.”

“Pinkie should be proud of her.” Rarity stuck her nose in the air and nodded. “She is competent and confident.”

Twilight leaned forward. “And her family misses her. It’s been years. Has anypony else been on your ship as long as she has?”

With a petite breath, Rarity put a hoof to her lips and squinted in thought. “Twilight, dear, did you know that some of your crew are among my alumni?”

Wooden beams creaked as the breeze shifted the two ships against each other. Rarity kneaded the pillow beneath her forehooves and sat up a bit taller. “Star Splash was a mess when I met him. Gangly, awkward, and listless. He was hopelessly, foolishly in love with this mare, oh, I forget her name.”

Rarity cupped a fetlock over her muzzle and leaned toward Twilight conspiratorially. “She was waaay out of his league.”

Twilight pinched her eyebrows together and puffed out her chest, speaking in a deep voice as she held up a forelimb in masculine fashion. “But on your crew he became strong and confident, returning home to discover that now, he was out of her league!”

Rarity chuckled. “I see you’ve been reading Spike’s comic books.”

“He has me proofread them before he sends them to the publisher.” Twilight nodded toward a shelf packed with colorful titles, then turned back to Rarity with one eyebrow raised. “Though I suspect some of the events depicted therein are, shall we say, dramatized?”

“Not quite as many as you suspect.” One white hoof toyed idly with a gray-streaked curl. “Speaking of, how is my favorite dragon these days?”

The alicorn’s eyes sparkled as a smile lit up her face. “Spike’s doing great! His comic books are pretty popular, and he’s even writing a book. He’s been on a couple of dates, too, you know.”

“I just knew that handsome devil couldn’t keep the mares away for long.”

“He moved on. You know, you—”

“Twiiilight,” Rarity said, drawing out her friend’s name with droning breath. “I know what you’re going to say. You have a list. And I’m willing to bet it’s the same list as last time.”

“I just…” Twilight sighed. “I hoped we could have some girl talk, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” Shining Armor said as he sat down across from Rarity. “Cadance couldn’t make it. Something came up with Flurry Heart. You know how kids are.”

Rarity chuckled and fanned herself with a lacy paper fan in her magic. “Of course. I remember when Sweetie Belle was little. Any day now, Flurry will be trying on your dresses and stealing your lipstick.”

For a moment, Shining’s jaw was slack and his eyebrows were twisted into a shape that caused Rarity’s face to split into a wide grin. When Shining recovered, he grinned to match hers and said, “I don’t imagine there was any danger of that to begin with.”

“Ooooh!” Rarity said as she tapped the table rapidly. “Because I said that to you the other day!” She dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Shining laughed along with her, then leaned against the table. “Although,” he said with an eye roll, “I think it’s less likely for me to wear a dress than for you to captain a hoofball team.”

Rarity sighed, and folded the paper fan before looking back up and making eye contact with the stallion. “Thank you. My day has become infinitely better. I don’t think I’d smiled today before you showed up.”

“I’m glad I could make a difference,” he said. “So, what’s going on? Cadance said it was important.”

“No,” Rarity said, then winced. “Well, it was just girl talk. Important to girls, I suppose.”

“Oh, that sort of thing.” Shining tapped his forehooves on the table as he let his eyes wander around the restaurant. “I don’t really know what girl talk is, but if she said it was important, then it must be important to you. So let’s do girl talk.”

A blush graced Rarity’s cheeks as she adjusted her shawl. One of her ears twitched against the lace brim of her hat. “I’m sorry, darling, but I can’t talk to a stallion about stallions.”

“Well, um.” Shining flounced his mane and batted his eyelashes before leaning one elbow against the table and giving her a sly smile. “Pretend I’m not a stallion.”

“That’s quite the—” Rarity snickered as a waiter stopped at their table “—tall order.” She looked up at the mustachioed crystal stallion and said, “I’ll have a mimosa, and he— I’m sorry, she will have the most frou-frou drink you have.”

The waiter glanced at the prince. He opened his mouth, froze, then shrugged. “We’re having girl talk.”

“Of course, your highness.” He turned and cantered away.

Rarity smirked into her hoof, then lit up her horn and floated her hat and shawl over to Shining Armor, arranging them carefully on his muscular frame. “There. We. Go. You’re practically one of the girls! Although I doubt you’d fool your dear wife, so don’t go trying to get her to talk about the stallion in her life.”

Shining Armor held one of his hooves in the air as daintily as possible, and spoke in a cracking falsetto. “Oh, I know all about that rapscallion—I hear he’s dynamite in the bedroom!”

Rarity coughed, squeaked, and then hid her red-hot blushing cheeks behind her paper fan. Her entire body shook with silent laughter that turned into very un-ladylike chuckling snorts. The tips of her ears were burning enough that she was sure Shining could see them, and that made them burn even harder. She folded her ears back and began fanning her face.

“Um,” Shining said, leaning forward with a squint, “was that too far?”

After steadying her breathing, Rarity poked at her mane and shifted on her cushion while she curled her tail tighter around her backside. “Oh, goodness! That’s about on par with the ‘girl talk’ I expected from Cadance… But I wasn’t expecting it until about three drinks in.”

Shining Armor hid his grin behind the shawl as the waiter approached the table and stood next to Rarity. She looked up at him as he set a flute of fizzy orange liquid in front of her. “Thank you, dear.”

The waiter paused in front of Shining Armor and turned to look back at Rarity before biting down on the stem of a cocktail glass and placing it carefully on the table. He sent one last glance at both unicorns before nodding and turning to trot away.

Rarity and Shining both cracked up laughing as the crystal stallion disappeared into the restaurant. Shining waited for her to stop laughing before he affected his girly-voice again. “But do tell me about your stallion troubles.”

“Well,” Rarity said, “I suppose I should start at the beginning.”

Shining closed his eyes and nodded, then wrapped his lips around the curly straw emerging from the frothy, fuschia drink in front of him.

“My first real crush was on Prince Blueblood. After pining for years, I was so excited that Twilight had managed to get us all tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, and—I’m sure Twilight told you this story—he was a real, dyed-in-the-wool jerk. More concerned about his own mane than about me. I mean, I appreciate a stallion who conditions, but—” She had expected Shining to bring a hoof up to his mane, or make a joke about conditioner.

For a few seconds, Rarity just smiled. She’d been hoping to talk to Cadance, but Shining was a surprisingly good listener. Then again, he’d had years of practice listening to his wife. Rarity cleared her throat. “Well, then I met Trenderhoof, and… Well, I thought he would be my soulmate. We had so much in common, and especially a love of fashion. But, not only was he not interested in me, he was in love with Applejack.

“That wasn’t the problem though. If he and Applejack had had something real, I would have been happy for them. But he wasn’t in love with Applejack, he was just—Argh!—in love with her aesthetic!”

Shining finished a slurp and licked his lips. “Should I pretend to know what that means?”

Rarity chuckled and shook her head. “He was in love with her rustic charm, not so much the pony herself.”

“What a jerk!”

“Quite! So, I had resolved to swear off stallions, at least until the perfect one came around. And, yes, I know I tend to jump the gun, as it were, about these things. But then… HE came along. I refuse to speak his name. But he was everything I thought I wanted in a stallion. He was handsome, of course.”

“Of course,” Shining said in his feminine voice, “but handsome stallions are a bit a bunch.”

“My mother tells me the same thing. But he was smart, and fashionable, and most importantly, he was sweet. We were crossing a street in Ponyville, and there was this dreadful patch of mud. He put me on his back and carried me across so my hooves wouldn’t have to get muddy. He came all the way across town to take care of a spider in my kitchen. And when we went out for ice cream, he’d look into my eyes and just sort of stare, deep and long. Then he’d guess what kind of ice cream I ‘needed’ right then, and he’d order that for me.”

“Awww,” Shining hummed, tilting his head and holding his hooves against his cheek.

“He was always wrong, of course. Terribly wrong. But I ate it anyway, because he was so sweet. Or, at least I thought he was sweet. It sort of… became a ‘thing.’ He would always order for me, no matter where we had a date. If I didn’t like a dish, he’d remember, and not order it again, but, but, he always had to be the one to order.”

Shining sat up straighter and squinted at Rarity. His ears stood up tall, locked onto her every word.

“And it wasn’t just mud and spiders. He tried to protect me from everything. Like he thought I was some, some porcelain doll that might break. It wasn’t until Applejack and Fluttershy sat me down and had a girl talk with me that I realized how unhealthy it really was.

“At that moment, I put it all together. Little things he’d said, small gestures, the kind of gifts he gave me. It all made sense. He wasn’t acting out of some concern for me. I’m sure he thought he was being chivalrous, but deep down, he was trying to reinforce his own perception of his superiority over mares.”

Shining tilted his head. “Wait. Is that—” his hat fell down over his eyes, and he pushed it back up with a hoof “—is that a thing? Do stallions do that?”

Rarity took a sip of her drink, looked down into the glass, then took another, longer drink before setting it back on the table. “This is girl talk, dear, we know about these things. Some stallions do that, yes. And a lot of mares are aware of it. That’s why we talk to each other. I knew it was a thing, and I didn’t even realize it was happening to me.”

“That’s terrible! I-is that something I do to Cadance?”

“That’s something else that stallions do,” Rarity said with a smirk. “They make everything about themselves.”

“W-what? No, I just, I didn’t—”

Rarity reached out and placed her hoof on his, watching him look down at her hoof and then back up to her face. She looked him in the eyes and ignored the rush of heat to her cheeks and the pounding of her heartbeat. “I’m messing with you now, sweetie. Most stallions would have just jumped in and helped condemn this… fellow. Perhaps to make me feel better, or simply to make themselves seem better in comparison. But you?”

She leaned back and picked up her glass again, halfway hiding her muzzle behind it. “You became introspective; not because you are self-centered, but because you were afraid that you were doing something that might be hurtful. That type of introspection is both rare and wonderful.”

“I, uh, thank you.” Shining gave a lopsided smile and glanced off to one side. “Remind me to have you tell Cadance all about that.”

Rarity felt her ears droop for half a heartbeat. She took a sip and let the bubbles and orange juice dance in her mouth for a moment before swallowing. “But, getting back to your question, no, I don’t think that’s a problem you suffer from. I seem to recall Twilight saying that you literally tossed your wife at some kind of monster?”

His deep laugh rolled across the restaurant, drawing curious glances from the crystal ponies throughout the room. Shining looked down and shook his head with a smile. “Yeah, that’s something I did.”

After another sip, Rarity set her glass down on the table firmly. “I have a question.” She sat up straight and waited for Shining to look up so she could make eye contact. “How in the world did it ever occur to you to throw your wife?”

Shining picked up the frilly drink and ate one of the many pieces of fruit that decorated its rim, then shrugged as he spoke with his mouth full. “Speaking from a tactical standpoint? I knew her capabilities, and mine, and that’s what I judged to be the best solution using the personnel at my disposal.”

“And from a relationship standpoint?”

“We’re a team.” He took a sip of his drink and barely grimaced before licking his lips. “We work together all the time. There are things she’s good at, and there’s things I’m good at. We know each others’ strengths and weaknesses, and we complement each other. Yeah, sometimes there are disagreements or miscommunications, but we work and we grow and we get better as a team.”

Rarity sighed and looked at her drink. She reached out a hoof and spun the glass, rolling it at an angle around its base, and watched the fizz bubble up around the edges where the orange pulp stuck to the glass.

“Is—” Shining cleared his throat and affected his girl-talk voice “—is there something wrong, dear?”

Rarity couldn’t help but chuckle. “I just hope to be part of a team like yours, some day.”

The stallion’s real voice was back, deep and dreamy. “I have no doubt.”

A smile spread across her face as she looked up at Shining Armor. “Speaking of which,” she said, reaching out with her magic to adjust his floral shawl and hat, “it looks like I’ll be joining you for hoofball after all.”

“And you haven’t felt anything for any of the stallions on your ship?”

Rarity sprawled out across her cushions and threw her head back with a breathy exhale. “Really, Twilight? You haven’t invented any new questions for your list?”

“They’re questions worth asking!”

“Yes, I’ve tried just not loving him. I’ve tried ignoring the feelings, and they didn’t go away. I’ve tried falling in love with somepony else. Many someponies. Do you recall the string of ponies I dated when I got back from the Crystal Empire? You told me it was unhealthy.”

“Well, yes,” Twilight said, wobbling her head side to side, “but I meant, ‘take a break from dating,’ or ‘actually give a pony a chance,’ not, ‘buy a zeppelin and take to the skies!’”

Rarity studied one of her hooves with a pout. “It was a good deal more complicated than that.”

Rolling her eyes, Twilight droned, “Running away from your problems seems pretty simple to me.”

“Running toward, not running away,” Rarity said with a hoof in the air. “Besides, it kicked off my new career. By the time I arrived at the Crystal Empire, I’d managed to collect a crew of stallions in a situation much like my own.”

“They were all in love with you.”

“They were all in love with somepony unavailable.”

“And you know what?” Twilight said as she leaned forward and placed her hooves on the table. “They all met somepony else, or grew up and moved on.”

Rarity smiled. “The point is, we all learned from that first voyage. They learned to be strong, to work hard, and become ponies worthy of the lovely hearts they would go on to win. I learned how much I can give to the lonely souls of this world.”

“And what about Marble? She’s been on your crew longer than anypony else ever has.”

“I… I keep her close. She is a special case.” Rarity sat up straighter and tossed her curls with a flick of her head. “Besides, I believe she’s grown more than any other pony who’s been on my ship.”

“Then why can’t you move on? Everypony else—except Marble—has done it. Why can’t you?”

With a deep sigh, Rarity shook her head. “Twilight, dear, you can’t simply keep asking the same questions, and expect me to have a different answer.”

“Then what can I do?” Twilight asked with her hooves stretched out toward her friend. “You’re wasting your life pining for a married stallion, and holding dozens of ponies enthralled while you fly around committing crimes!”

Rarity sat up and fluffed her mane back into shape, then straightened her jacket. “If you think I’m wasting my life, then… Then…” She huffed, then took a deep breath. “I have only ever chased perfection. Every season, I design the most magnificent outfits. They are the closest to perfection that any mortal clothing can achieve!”

Twilight placed one hoof on the table. “And when the next season comes around?”

“Why, then I—” Rarity froze, and a smile grew on her face as she squinted at the princess. “I see what you’re doing. If fashion changes, then why can’t I? Hmmm? Well, seasons and fashions are not the heart.”

“I suppose not.” Twilight lifted her glass and took a sip of the warm liquor. “Nopony ever accused me of knowing anything about romance.”

Rarity chuckled and swirled her own glass in her magic. “But plenty of ponies have accused me of being wrong about it. I’ve become something of an icon for it.”

Twilight looked at her friend through the glass, distorting her view of Rarity’s face. “Pursuing a married pony is the very definition of wrong.”

“No,” Rarity said, as she leaned forward and slapped her glass onto the table. “Having an affair with him would be wrong. Regardless of how I feel about him, he is a perfect husband. He would never do anything to hurt Cadance.”

“Then what are you pursuing, if you would never actually have a relationship with him?”

Rarity sighed through a smile. “It’s the idea, dear. Sometimes, you just have to take the ball and run with it.”

“And if they haven’t advanced by the end of the fourth down—”

Rarity pinched her eyebrows together and put a hoof on Shining Armor’s shoulder. “Hold on, darling. What’s a down?”

“That—” Shining facehoofed and folded his ears back before peeking up at Rarity from behind his hoof. “That’s what I was just explaining.”

She looked into his blue eyes and smiled. He could be so much like Twilight, sometimes. The way his attention was focused on her, it was easy to forget that she was standing on a muddy field, surrounded by off-duty guard stallions who were about to pummel each other for fun. She cleared her throat. “Why don’t we skip all the nuts and bolts of the rules? How do I put together a hoofball team?”

“Alright,” Shining said with a chuckle. “You’ll need eleven ponies on your team. You want some big stallions, hard hitters. And you’ll want some fast ones who can run the ball. You wouldn’t want a team of, say, all big guys”

Rarity nodded. “I see. You’re saying that would be like wearing stripes with plaid.”

Shining raised an eyebrow and turned to look at an orange pegasus standing next to him. The guard shrugged in response, then they both turned back to Rarity. After a moment of further thought, Shining asked, “What’s wrong with stripes and plaid?”

With a gasp, Rarity held a hoof to her chest and gave him a wink. “It’s a wonder you managed to land a mare at all, much less a princess!”

“I’ve never really needed a fashion sense.” Shining looked down at his white fur, then cast an eye over Rarity’s sequined vest and feathery hat. “When was the last time you saw me wear anything other than a guard uniform?”

Rarity threw her head back and cackled, pawing at the grass as she laughed. When she had finally caught her breath, she leaned against Shining and said, “I thought your ensemble last week was rather fetching. You look ravishingly handsome in a floral print!”

A snicker made its way through the crowd of stallions as Shining blushed. “Well, uh, the, um, situation being what it was, I made a, yeah, a tactical decision to adopt a disguise.”

“And by that,” Rarity said as she tilted her head toward a nearby stallion and smirked, “he means that I dressed him up like a mare so I could complain about stallions.”

Shining’s cheeks burned a deep red as the rest of the guards laughed. He leaned over to Rarity and put a hoof on her shoulder, tilting his head close enough that she could smell his mint shampoo, and spoke in a falsetto. “Aren’t stallions just the worst?”

The breeze tugged at his mane while Rarity studied the curve of his smile. “Not all of them, darling.”

“I will begrudgingly admit,” Twilight said with a hoof on her forehead, “that your little stretch of sky is notably free of pirate activity. Other than yours, of course.”

“Of course,” Rarity replied with a smirk, holding her brandy snifter up to the daylight.

“The worst part is, though, that when I get back, I’ll be hounded by reporters—and not even real reporters, fashion reporters—about this little hijacking.”

“And in three days, the richest high-society ponies will be flying these skies in hopes of being terrorized by myself and my crew.” She chuckled and shook her head, then took a sip of brandy. “Being an outlaw is very in.”

Twilight bit her cheek and tilted her head as she stared at Rarity. “I’m trying to come up with something about my in-laws and something being outlawed. I feel like there’s something there, but I’ve got nothing.” She shook her head and shrugged. “Anyway, you know they’re going to ask me. It just makes me so uncomfortable when anypony asks me about you and him.”

Rarity stepped across the cabin and stood next to Twilight, closing her eyes and leaning over to silently nuzzle her friend. After a shuddering breath, Rarity murmured, “There is no ‘me and him.’ There’s just him. And there’s me.”

Rarity looked up from her sewing machine as she heard the door open.

Cadance gingerly stepped halfway through the doorway and smiled without using her eyes. “Hey, Rarity. Can we talk?”

All the air disappeared from the room as Rarity returned the smile with as much grace as it had been offered. “O-of course, darling. Come on in.”

It took an eternity for Cadance to trot across the floor and pick one of the pastel velvet cushions to sit on. Rarity felt the worst kind of naked as she waited for the princess to compose herself. She desperately wished for something to stand between them; a dress, a table… a stallion. Even a reasonable stretch of floor.

“I suspect you know why I’m here.” Cadance’s eyes were soft and cutting at the same time.

Rarity pinched her lips together and nodded. The sparkling crystal floor became blurry in her vision.

Cadance took a deep breath and let it out in a puff. She looked at the floor, then back up to the other mare. “I invited you into my home, Rarity.” Her wingtips fluttered as she cocked her head to the side. “Why?”

“I…” Rarity’s voice seemed tiny in the space between them, thin and more transparent than the crystals themselves. “I never meant to hurt anypony.”

“I never thought you did. But still… Why?”

“One can’t explain how one falls in love. It just happens.”

Cadance spent a few moments watching Rarity knead the cushion beneath her hooves. She bit her lip and said, “But when you saw it happening, why didn’t you… I don’t know. Why didn’t you stop? Distance yourself from him? Come to me?”

“At first it was harmless,” Rarity said with a wavering voice. She swallowed and folded her ears back. “Just a friend helping me out. Being encouraging. And then it was fun.” She looked up at Cadance. “I just enjoyed having somepony to talk to without having to worry about what he thought of me, what he wanted. When I realized that I… It was thrilling. The flutter in my stomach when he looked at me. When I realized what was happening, I told myself that I was just having fun for a little bit, just until…”

“Until what?”

Rarity shook her head. “I don’t know. Until I found my perfect stallion? But I did find him, only… He wasn’t mine. He’s yours.”

“He’s not perfect,” Cadance said with half a smile, lifting one hoof up and holding it in front of her chest.

Rarity’s eyes fell to the floor.

“He snores, and—”

“Just stop. I’m sure it gets annoying, but if snoring is the worst thing about him… Snoring sounds adorable right at the moment.”

Cadance took a breath, then looked toward the window. “He was a real jerk when we started dating, you know. In fact, he—”

“So you’ve done the hard work.” Rarity sniffled and rubbed her muzzle with a fetlock. “Nopony’s perfect, of course, and it’s a lot of hard work before the rough edges are smoothed out. And now he knows how to not do all those jerk things that stallions somehow think are part of a relationship.”

Pink wings sagged off of the princess’s shoulders, just barely enough for Rarity to notice.

Rarity cleared her throat. “I want you to know that my affections were entirely one-sided. I don’t think he even knew that… that…”

Cadance spoke softly. “He knew.” She made eye contact with Rarity.

Rarity looked away. “Oh.”

“He told me himself.”

“Of course he did.”

“You don’t sound happy about that.” Cadance raised one eyebrow and squinted at Rarity.

“Oh, no, it’s good that he told you. But that just makes him even more perfect.” Rarity sighed and tugged on a lock of her mane. “The irony of it all is that if he’d returned my affection, even in the slightest, that would make him unfaithful to his wife, and he wouldn’t be perfect any more. And, and I’d have lost interest.”

Cadance shook her head. “If you got to know him as well as I do, he wouldn’t be perfect any more.”

“I’m sure you don’t want me to know him as well as you do.” Rarity stared at Cadance until the princess turned her head. “That’s what I thought.”

“Maybe you can just take my word for it?”

Rarity stood up and poked at her cushion. “Maybe I should just… be somewhere else.”

Cadance stood and turned toward the door, then glanced over her shoulder. “You should.”

Both mares looked up at the sound of a knock on the cabin door. Before anypony could respond, Marble opened the door and stuck her head in. “Your Highness. Lady Rarity, the royal guards are outfitted, and we’ve disposed of their outdated uniforms. We did locate a chest of gems below deck.”

Twilight jumped to her hooves with a stomp, her wings flared. “THOSE are for Spike.”

Marble nodded, with only a cursory glance toward Rarity. “Of course.”

“Well,” Rarity said as she stood up and gave Twilight a hug, “I think that means we’re ready to cast off.”

Twilight squeezed Rarity back, but as she pulled away, she left a hoof on the graying mare’s shoulder. “I know some ponies don’t feel the need for a romantic partner. I know some ponies can be happy without that kind of relationship. But you? You’ve always talked about romance. The stallion you’re interested in, the outfit you’re designing to woo him, the way you’ll meet, the whirlwind feeling, the dramatic proposal. I just… I want you to be happy, Rarity.”

Rarity pulled Twilight back into the hug and nuzzled her neck. After a warm moment, Twilight pulled back far enough to look into Rarity’s blue eyes. “I don’t like the idea of you, of all ponies, being alone.”

The sound of hoofsteps approached the mares as they separated. Marble stood in front of Twilight and held her head high. Even at a height disadvantage, she didn’t shrink away from the princess. “Rarity is not alone. I love her.” She pointed a hoof toward the cabin’s doorway. “There’s a whole ship full of ponies who love her.”

Twilight closed her eyes and smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. It’s not exactly what I meant, but, still, I’m glad to hear it.”

“Thank you, darling.” Rarity tugged the front of her coat down and smoothed out the few wrinkles that remained before prancing toward the door. “But we really must be going. There is piracy to be done!”

Twilight rolled her eyes as she followed them onto the deck, where Rarity was poking and prodding the guard stallions lined up in the fading sunlight. The pirate captain turned her head and smirked at Twilight, her hoof still on the chest of a stallion in an impressively oversized peytral.

Twilight rolled her eyes again.

“Our work here is finished!” Rarity declared as her crew filed across the plank to their own ship. She followed them across and turned back around as a pair of stallions retracted the plank.

As the royal guards tossed back the mooring ropes, Rarity held her chin in the air and called across to Twilight. “If it makes you feel better, darling, I’m in love with the idea of being in love. It’s the chase I love. I wanted perfection, and nopony is perfect, not if you look too close. Well, I found my perfect stallion. Somepony I could chase forever, and never get too close. He’s my sky, and here I am, in love with the sky. Here I am, chasing the sky. So maybe I am a fool. Here I am, on a ship of fools. We’re all in love with something impossible.”

The ships drifted apart for a few moments before the royal zeppelin darted away at what Rarity guessed was their maximum speed. She faced her crew and smiled for them. “We’re all chasing the sky.”

The crew cheered, then dispersed to attend to their individual tasks. Rarity sighed, then looked toward the sunset and murmured quietly, “At least that’s what I tell myself.”

Marble leaned forward and kissed Rarity on the cheek, slowly and gently, lingering long enough to take a full breath. When she pulled back, barely, she spent several moments studying the unicorn’s face with her violet eyes. “I’m still chasing mine.”

Rarity stepped up to the railing and leaned against it, lifting one of her rear legs for balance as she stretched out a foreleg as far as she could reach. She glanced back toward Marble and said, “Come here, Marble darling. Let’s see if we can’t touch the sky.”