Happy Birthday Bumper!

by Poppy8

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Royal Guard, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Drama, Original Character
Length: 2581

Have you ever harmed a friend by giving them something they like too much?

Everypony's favorite sword swinging maniac is having his special day! And Timidthy is the most excited ready to give Bumper his gift that he's been planning for months! Unfortunately the other's can't say the same. They don't think they're gifts are good enough. So they decide to get help.....unfortunately they pick the worst gift possible......

Published 2017-07-07 18:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-09 23:33:06 UTC

The Imperfect Gift

It was the day before Bumper's birthday and all through the land all of his friends we're panicking cause they hadn't found the right gift. Well minis Timidthy who was good at this. The kid's we're all in Sweet Dreams's room while Timidthy was talking with a very excited Bumper at his house.

"I can't wait for my birthday!" Bumper said as he was jumping on his bed in excitement,

"I can't wait either! You kinda deserve a good one. Wasn't your last one a disaster?" Timidthy said and Bumper nodded as blushed crept on his face.

"Yeah I'm so glad that my parents we're the only one's there if anypony like you guy's we're there I would've died from modification." He said as his face getting redder by the minute,

"I can relate thank my mother's name that none of that food will be at your party. Kinda funny on how that's the only type of meat ponies are able to day digest." Timidthy said.

"It's because every other creature has sentience and other then Steven Magnet there are no other creatures in his species that are like him." Bumper said, "Though I have to admit I do want to try that stuff ag-"

"No." Timidthy interrupted. He then used his magic to thump Bumper's horn, his friend immediately snapped out of it.

"Right I'm not gonna let that happen again." Bumper said and Timidthy smiled clearly pleased.

Meanwhile the other's we're still in their emergency meeting.

"Seriously how can we not know what to get Bumper?" French Press said,

"Weapons?" Spice suggested and everyone gave her a deadpanned look.

"He can make weapons out of his magic plus I have a feeling Tim has that covered." Sweet Dreams said,

"Well how about his favorite food?" Pummel said. Everyone looked at each other and smiled,

"Pu-Pu-Pummel y-yo-your a ge-ge-genies!" Spark said and Pummel blushed while the other tech nerds said.

"Hey!" Citrus rolled her eye's,

"No reason to get your tails in a twist nerd heard." She said before her and the other's walked out of the castle ready to ask Bumper's parent's for the answer.

"By the way how do you not know what his favorite food is?" Binkey asked and French Press shrugged,

"I've asked him but every time I did he got nervous and clamped up. Sometimes he even left." She said. And that's when the tech nerds started thinking,

"Maybe it's something disgusting and he doesn't want us to know." Console said.

"Yeah like maybe.....strawberry shortcake and brussel spouts." Data said wincing at the very thought of the concoction,

"Well it can't be that bad." Meadow said. Serenity nodded,

"Yes it's probably nothing." She said. By then they all had gotten to their destination and they knocked on the door. Blossom and Butcher opened the door,

"Hello sweeties! What can we do to help you?" Blossom said sweetly.

"We we're wondering if you could tell us what Bumper's favourite food is." Serenity said and the parent's both grew nervous,

"Well......we would tell you....but that's kinda a secret between us, Timidthy and Bumper." Butcher said. The kid's groaned,

"Isn't this the second secret Bumper had told Tim and vise versa? He never tells me anything embarrassing about him. Why Tim?" French Press complained.

"It's because my Tiny Tim is so used to keeping secrets because of training for his future occupation. But seriously you can't tell us?" Sweet Dreams said and the parent's shook their head's,

"Oh and while we're here can I use the little colts room?" Data said nervously. Bumper's parent's relaxed slightly,

"Sure honey it's down the hall on the left." Blossom said and Data followed the directions perfectly. As the other's we're begging the parent's for answers, once he was done with his business he walked back to the group. Only to stop midway to see a picture on one of the tables in the living room. He looked at the parent's and noticed they we're still busy. Data smiled and snuck over and looked at the picture, and the picture made him chuckle.

It was Bumper with his parents as the colt had his tongue out like a dog his eye's wide like saucers. As he looked at the plate with absolute joy. Data smiled this was it, he ran back to the other's just as they we're leaving and was telling then about his discovery.

“Really?” The other’s said simmioustainlly,

“Yep. The picture was actually pretty cute.” Data said glad that he his photographic memory. French Press's nose was scrunched up in disgust,

“Well if he likes it then we’ll get it. Though I’m not going to eat any of that stuff; raw meet and fish. Yuck!” She said.

“WE’LL MAKE HIS BIRTHDAY THE BEST ONE EVER!” Citrus said causing everypony but Blood Bones to cover their ears,

“Yep! Nothing can go wrong!” Blood Bones said. Unfortunately he couldn’t be anymore wrong.

Meanwhile back with Bumper and Timidthy. Bumper was pulling out a long sheet with patches on them.

“See? Ever since that day any place I go to where there might be fish I put one on.” Bumper said and Timidthy was astonished,

“But what if it shows up at the place your at?” The alicorn inquired.

“That’s why I’m telling you this I want to be extra careful on my birthday so if you know what shows up restrain me. When that doesn’t work teleport here slap a patch on me and use a sleeping spell.” Bumper replied back, “I'm hoping it won’t come to that but still just in case.” Timidthy smiled.

“Well I’m glad you trust also before you say “And you promise not to tell anypony?“ don’t worry my mouth is sealed.” He said, Bumper relaxed.

“Good. It’s basically just as embarrassing as your bird phobia.” Bumper said and Timidthy chuckled nervously with blush coming onto his face, after all he could relate.

“Now come on let’s get some ice cream.” Bumper said, and Timidthy followed him out the door.

Never give Bumper The "S" Word

It was the day of Bumper's birthday and all the guards had just finished decorating the castle ball room for it. Including a recently suggested feast item that had a tarp on it, everypony came the party. Including Bumper's parents, Sweet Song (of course wearing her cloak and shivering.) And even the royal guard's Shimmer Sword and Watch Dog. The gifts we're on a separate table as they all waited for Timidthy to come in with Bumper.

Meanwhile the prince in question was closing in with Bumper surprisingly nervous as blush was present on his face.

"I-I'm not sure....what if it's there." Bumper whimpered considering if he should even celebrate his birthday. Timidthy looked at him with compassion,

"Bumpy, I'm telling you there is no way ponanly possible that su-" He said but Bumper gave him a look.

"Don't say it. I don't want to hear the word." He said and Timidthy nodded as they stopped by the ball room door, Timidthy put a hoof on Bumper's shoulder.

"Listen if anything happens I'll help you if Discord comes and turns everything in the room into you know what. I'll handle it. This birthday will be one to remember for the right reasons. Okay?" He said and Bumper nodded sucking the tears he had back into his eye's,

"Good." Timidthy said as he waited for Bumper to get his composure. Once he did the alicorn opened the door, as soon as everypony saw Bumper they all said.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUMPER!" The colt smiled as Timidthy nudged him in his own little way to tell him he was worrying about nothing. Everypony gave their congratulations and before Bumper could even take a breath the other kid's pulled him over to the table. Timidthy watched from afar as he wanted to talk to the his personal royal guard's. Curious to see what type of training Bumper was going through,

"We got you the best gift ever." Blood Bones said.

"Yeah your gonna love it!" French Press said as Bumper was already vibrating with excitement,

"Come on show me!" He said. Sweet Dreams giggled, she grabbed the tarp.

"Alright here it is!" She said before she pulled the tarp off revealing five different types of sushi. Which we're Nigiri; a topping, usually fish, served on top of sushi rice. Sashimi; Fish or shellfish served alone (no rice). Maki; rice and filling wrapped in seaweed. Uramaki; similar to the second one, but with rice is on the outside and seaweed wraps around the filling. And finally Temaki; sushi that has been hoof-rolled into a cone shape.

Bloom, Butcher and Timidthy gasped as they paled. They we're frozen in horror as Bumper's eye's widened and started to gleam as he started to shake. Timidthy looked at his personal guards and they nodded back getting ready for anything.

"Thumpy; you okay?" French Press asked slightly concerned,

"Yeah.......I....I....just......really.....like....SUSHI!"Bumper said screaming the last word before jumping towards the table.

"No!" Butcher and Blossom screamed and everypony gasped as Bumper landed on the table and started stuffing his mouth. Timidthy tried to use his magic to drag his friend off the table. But it was as if Bumper was immune as he continued to eat with no problem, Shimmer Sword and Watch Dog ran over and grabbed the crazed colt by his back legs. Bumper started siding off the table as he growled like a dog and chewed up sushi dripped from his mouth.

"Wha-What's wrong with him!?" Sweet Song said considering to bolt out of the castle,

"We'll explain later just help the guard's!" Butcher ordered and everypony started pulling as well. In a desperate attempt to get Bumper under control,

"Bumper calm down!" French Press said now generally worried for her coltfriend. But unfortunately he wasn't listening, in fact he was now using his magic to get the sushi he wanted. Once his mouth was stuffed he charged his horn and blasted everypony in opposite directions. When everypony shook off the spell they saw almost every piece of sushi on the table was gone. By then Timidthy had enough,

"Guy's dog pile on Bumper!" He said and his friend's did as they we're told. Bumper immediately fell flat and struggled against the weight. Timidthy teleported away as his friend's we're slowly but surly being thrown off, the adults tried to get the sushi off the table. But it seemed to power Bumper's determination even more. Timidthy then teleported back just in time to see Bumper throw the last of his friends off; Citrus.

The alicorn teleported onto his unicorn friend and slapped the patch on his chest, Bumper stopped for a moment. But that was all the time Timidthy needed he put his horn to Bumper's and cast the required sleeping spell. Bumper's eye's went limp along with the rest of his body, once Timidthy saw his breathing had slowed he got off. He took in a couple of breaths before Butcher and Blossom ran over, Blossom picked up her son. Who had chewed sushi falling from his mouth as pieces of it was in his mane and tail.

"H-He's going to he okay......right?" Timidthy asked what everypony was thinking,

“I hope so.” Butcher said before him and his wife walked off with a sleeping Bumper. Timidthy turned around and saw everypony had a look of curiosity and concern,

“I can’t tell ya Bumper; I promised. It’s Bumper's choice.” He said calmly. And everypony excepted the answer even though it wasn’t the one they wanted. Everypony then started to clean up the room but they we’re all distracted worrying about Bumper. Especially Timidthy who could only imagine how embarrassed Bumper would be when he eventually woke up. Once the room was spotless everypony picked up the gifts that we’re still intact.

And walked their way to Bumper's house with tense and awkward silence along the way. But Timidthy couldn’t help but pray; ‘Please let Bumper be okay. Please. Please. Please.’ And Butcher and Blossom we’re thinking the same thing.

Epilogue: Broken Bumper

The moon rose as stars gleamed in the night sky, it was then that Bumper slowly started to wake up. He stretched his limbs as he rubbed his eye's. He noticed his coat and hair smelled of strawberries as if he recently had taken a bath. Bumper looked around realizing he was in his room he tried to figure out how he got here and what had happened. Before he could even scratch the surface a small knock came from the other side of his door.

"H-Hello?" A very recognizable shaky voice called out, Bumper shook away most of the confusion away.

"Come in." He said realizing how sour his mouth felt as it had a minty taste to it, Timidthy walked in with a nervous look as he carried in a large yet thin gift. The alicorn placed the gift against the wall and closed the door, his horn lit up as it put a silencing spell on the room. Finally, he walked over to Bumper and placed his front hooves on the frame of his bed.

"How are you feeling?" Timidthy asked a thoroughly bewildered Bumper,

"Umm......well beside smelling like a strawberry shortcake and feeling as if I went to the dentist. I'm....good...I guess." He said. Timidthy bit his lip,

"Well....that's good. But......" The prince said trailing off. Bumper started to grow nervous; what was Timidthy trying to tell him?

"What is it?" Bumper said as the alicorn seemed to get more jittery by the minute,

"I-I.....well.... you see...." Timidthy gave up and moved the sheet covering the patch and pointed to it. Bumper's eye's widened as his face turned red,

"No....please no." He whispered hoping Timidthy was just playing some cruel, sick prank. Unfortunately, he saw no sort of trickery instead he saw a guilty face confirming his horrors,

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Timidthy said and hazy memories started to come to Bumper's mind. He had acted like that, he had gone nuts, and worst of all he had sushi. Tears weld up in his eye's as realization and humiliation hit him like a freight train. Bumper started crying as his blush spread all over his cheeks and muzzle,

"How bad was it?" He whimpered very well knowing it would only make him feel worse. Timidthy gulped,

"Bu-Bumper I'm not sure-" He said before Bumper interrupted.

"Tim, you better tell me. How bad was it?" Timidthy felt tears come to his eye's,

"Let's just say that if reporter's we're there it would make the front news." He said. "But listen let's not focus on that. The others are worried about you we could-"

"No! I don't want to talk to anypony right now! I-I just want to be left alone right now; okay?" Bumper said his voice filled with shame. Timidthy nodded,

"Okay anything you want to tell me before I go?" He said. Bumper nodded as his face went redder and he looked at his bed sheets.

"I want meetings with you anytime in private. I'm gonna wear a patch every day from now on. And.....thank you for calming me down." He said and Timidthy smiled and said,

"Of course Bumper, anything for a friend." Before he left the room making sure to lock the door. Bumper then allowed his tears to tell freely, as he looked at Timidthy's present that was still unopened