Old Friends

Chapters

Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Sam awoke the next day to find that his entire room was shaking. He had spent most of his life in the Pacific Northwest, so he thought he knew what that meant.

“EARTHQUAKE!” he shouted to wake and alert the others, before diving under the bed and grabbing one of the bedposts for safety.

There was the sound of laughter from the room upstairs, and the rumbling quickly died down. Embarrassed, Sam poked his head out from under the bed, noting that the painting of Luna was still somehow securely anchored to the wall. Magic, he supposed.

He walked upstairs into a room that looked to be the exact opposite of his, in that it was decorated in warm yellow colors and with portraits of Celestia. Brayden and Cory were there, snorting with amusement already as he entered.

“…Not an earthquake?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Cory shook his head. “We thought so too, at first, but it’s been on and off like that for a while now. We think it might be explosions, though we’re really not sure what’s exploding. Nick, Avery and Kylie went off to find Celestia and ask her what’s going on.”

Sam hummed in thought. If he were a betting man, he’d suspect either Twilight, Starlight, or Discord, with Discord being the most likely being to cause random explosions. “How long ago did they go to find her?” he asked.

“About an hour. The throne room’s real close by, so…” Brayden shrugged.

“She’s probably trying to deal with it herself, I would think,” Sam muttered. His stomach chose that moment to remind him that he’d skipped dinner last night, and he sighed as he got up. “Is the Dining Hall still open?” he asked the two of them.

Brayden shrugged. “Should be. When we were there, Celestia just told us to request a meal from the palace staff, said they’d been trained to know our diet and recognize our appearance. Though, if we’re feeling the quakes all the way up here, I can only imagine what it must be like at ground level.”

Sam sighed. “Well, I know one thing. I am getting some food before I pass out again,” he announced, and set off for the door.

“Uh… good luck with that,” Cory called after him.

Sam had made it down the stairs, through a section of garden, and midway across a bridge when the next earth-shaking event occurred. He was knocked to his feet, getting a very clear and wholly unwanted view of the base of the mountain thousands of feet below as he fought to stay on the bridge despite the shaking. After a few minutes that seemed like hours, the shaking subsided, and Sam quickly hopped over to the other side of the bridge, panting with exertion and fear as he sought to put himself on safer ground. “The heck is going on?” he muttered under his breath, censoring himself just in case someone was listening. It felt as though the mountain beneath Canterlot was the source of the earthquakes… but what could possibly be down there?

He finally reached the throne room, skirting across as much open ground as possible to avoid being flattened. As soon as he did, a pair of Royal Guards looked at him in open shock.

“Sir, what in Celestia’s name are you doing outside?!” one demanded. “Princesses’ orders were for everypony to remain in their homes!”

Sam shrugged nonchalantly. “I was hungry. Besides, I want to know what’s going on.” The Guards looked at each other, grimacing.

“We’re afraid that’s confidential,” the other Guard spoke brusquely.

“…Alright, whatever,” Sam muttered, acquiescing. “Where’s the Dining Hall again?”

Another look between the two Guards. “Through these doors, and to your right,” the first Guard instructed.

“But they’re not serving at this time – all their cookware keeps getting knocked over,” the other hurriedly added.

“Okay… hmm,” Sam hummed in thought, pressing onward.

He found Nick and Avery in the dining hall, speaking with a very irate and unkempt Princess Luna.

“Are you alright?” Sam asked as soon as he caught sight of her.

Luna sighed. “I am fine. I simply have not slept for a while, I will be alright.” Sam flinched at her hostile tone, and she softened her gaze. “My apologies… we have been dealing with a problem lately, and it is causing me and my sister no end of stress. I did not mean to take it out on you.”

Sam hurriedly nodded to placate her. “Of course. So… you must be Princess Luna?” he questioned.

Luna nodded back, a smile coming to her face. “Princess of the Night, at your service. I am assuming you want food as well?” she questioned.

Sam shrugged. “I understand if it can’t be provided right now – random earthquakes probably aren’t very good for cooking.”

Luna smirked, clearly only barely amused by his attempt at humor. “Indeed not. Those of our chefs who are unicorns are attempting to fix the situation by levitating their food and cooking it that way, but… it is not always successful.” As if to emphasize her point, there was the sound behind them of a few pots clattering to the floor, and muffled angry exclamations beyond the door.

“Maybe we could just have solid materials that don’t need to be prepared? Bread, fruits, stuff like that?” Sam wondered.

Luna’s ear twitched, a thoughtful expression coming to her face. “That would be a better idea, yes. I shall inform the kitchens, stay here.” She trotted off, leaving Sam, Nick and Avery to stare at each other.

“So… where’s Kylie?” Sam asked, looking around as if he were expecting Kylie to be under a table. With what was going on, that wasn’t entirely out of the question.

“Princess Cadance was here earlier, and they left to discuss his transition. Last I heard, Cadance was having problems getting magic to work on him,” Nick explained.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “What kind of problems? Are we immune to magic somehow?”

Nick shrugged. “Not quite, apparently. Some spells work, and some spells don’t, and nobody has any idea why. Cadance was kind of frustrated about it.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, unsure how to respond to that. “Well… I hope they figure something out for Kylie…” he muttered.

Thankfully, he was saved from saying anything else by the appearance of Princess Luna, who was carefully levitating sacks of produce and bread.

“Will this be enough for now?” she asked curiously, and Sam took a look at the ten or so burlap bags full of food supplies.

“Yeah, that’s more than enough. Thank you!” Sam answered, happily taking the sacks and promptly dropping them due to their weight. “Urgh… how did you lift these?” Sam complained.

“Don’t worry, we got it,” Nick chimed in, taking a few sacks for himself.

Luna watched as they carefully balanced the sacks of food, evidently amused. “I simply levitated them with my magic. Are you sure you do not need further assistance?” she inquired. They shook their heads, and she shrugged. “Very well. Send for one of us if you have need of anything else.” With that, the Princess of the Night departed, and the three of them began the arduous task of carrying the food back to their towers.

It took a few hours of careful movement, tripping, and the loss of a few unfortunate bags of food over the mountainside, but they managed to make it back to the tower that was their new home.

“So… do our parents… know we’re here?” Avery asked, grunting as he stretched his back out.

“Doubt it, I don’t think we’re on the show right now,” Nick answered, having flopped onto a couch the second they had entered Sam’s room.

“Honestly, I’m too hungry to worry about that now. Can someone go get Brayden and Cory?” Sam asked. The others gave him petulant frowns, and Sam sighed. “Never mind, I’ll do it,” he huffed, getting off of his bed.

He found the pair of them waiting upstairs in the same room they had been in. Cory was staring at a painting of Celestia on the wall, while Brayden was reading a book. They both perked up as soon as they saw him.

“Food?” Brayden asked, and Sam laughed.

“Yeah, come on, it’s in my room.”

They both eagerly got up to follow him, and Sam snorted at their enthusiasm.

They were hit during the trip downstairs by another earthquake, and quickly clung to the railings as the whole tower shook.

“Canterlot must be built really well to withstand this many earthquakes,” Nick commented as soon as it subsided.

“What’s even going on, anyway? What’s been causing nonstop earthquakes for the past three hours?” Sam wondered as they once again entered his room. They both shrugged.

“We think it’s a dragon,” Nick piped up.

“A dragon? What, like thumping around and shifting in its sleep or something?” Sam commented, confused.

Nick shrugged. “What else is that big and loud?”

Sam pondered this for a moment. “Trixie? She has fireworks, and might have bombs,” he mused.

“Trixie’s good now, didn’t you watch Season 5 or 6?” Nick rebutted.

Sam shook his head. “I haven’t seen anything past Season 2,” he explained, and Nick looked horrorstruck.

“You missed all the good stuff!” he chided, and Sam laughed.

“Couldn’t help it, Fire Emblem and Final Fantasy were calling my name. Why don’t you give a quick summary for the rest of us, too?” he asked.

Nick sighed. “Fine… but I’m leaving out all the filler episodes.” As Nick began explaining, each of them grabbed a sack of food.

By the time they had finished eating, the earthquakes appeared to have subsided, and Sam was much more thoroughly educated on what had happened during his abstinence from the show.

“So what about Tirek? He’s big, loud, and not very subtle,” he posited.

Nick considered this. “Could be, but only when he had a ton of magic. I think we would have heard or seen him if he was running about stealing magic again.”

Sam scoffed at this. “If it was anything big and angry, we should have seen it running around by now. I still think it’s explosions.”

Cory sighed. “Wasn’t there some guy you knew who knew all about bombs and pyro stuff?” he asked Sam, who fought back a laugh.

“Yeah, the First Alicorn told me Jeremy’s gonna be here too, though not right away. You think it’s him down there?”

Cory snorted in amusement. “I was gonna complain that we didn’t have his opinion on the subject, but now that I’m thinking of it, yeah, it’s definitely him.”

Sam burst out laughing, and the others gave polite chuckles, most unsure of who the two were referring to.

With not much else to add to the discussion, they simply waited. Brayden did a few pushups and situps on the floor, though he would always topple over if he tried to do one while the tower was shaking. Cory hummed to himself, apparently composing a song as he went through the same notes over and over again. Nick went around and examined the paintings of Princess Luna more closely, tilting his head and running his fingers over the exposed canvas curiously. Sam merely laid back on his bed and waited for the earthquakes to stop, wondering what else he could be doing at the moment. Hopefully this part of whatever episode was surely playing would be cut from the final 30-minute stretch… somehow. What did that even mean, for them? Was Hasbro still in control of this world, or had they merely acted as some kind of distant, omniscient observer? Did Harmony know that her world was fiction, and if so, did she intend to do anything about it? And why was Canterlot exploding, anyway? These and more were the questions Sam pondered on as he lay back and stared at the ceiling, midnight blue and painted with simple white six-pointed stars.

Sam, out of curiosity, tried to open his laptop and connect to the Internet, muttering in frustration as his laptop shifted out of his reach from another tremor. To his surprise, there was WiFi here, the network name listed as ‘Canterlot-001’.

“Hey guys, we have Internet here somehow,” he commented. Instantly, every other human present pulled out their phones and began trying to connect.

“Think we can call our parents?” Nick asked hopefully as he tapped through his smartphone.

“No idea,” Sam shrugged, pulling out his own.

“Nope, it wouldn’t go through,” denied Brayden, who had already tried.

Sam tried calling his own parents, only to find that the phone just kept ringing, and closed the call with a sigh. “Well, it was worth a shot. Maybe we can post something on the Internet, and… hope it finds its way back to them?” He returned his attention to his laptop, only to find that the WiFi connection had redirected him to a sign-in.

“Harmony Labs WiFi is meant to be used for gaming and recreation only. Do not use to establish connections to other worlds, for illegal purposes, or to attempt to influence the universe in any way,” Sam read aloud. “…What?” he added after a moment, completely befuddled.

“Sounds like that First Alicorn gave us WiFi specifically so we didn’t get bored,” Nick concluded.

“Why did she even bother? That’s such a weird and obscure thing to do. Besides, most heroes in medieval fantasy lands don’t get magical WiFi,” Avery complained.

Sam shrugged. “She’s into puzzles and stuff, I think. Maybe there’s something here to figure out? Like, there’s a clue somewhere in this Internet connection.” They pondered over it, reading through the page themselves.

“Uh… there’s no hidden links or images, I just checked the HTML code,” Nick reported.

“Anything vague in the wording, then?” Avery asked, intently reading through it.

“I think we might be wasting our time, actually,” Brayden sighed.

“…Wait…” Sam murmured, reading over the screen once more.

“Oh! He’s figuring it out!” Cory noticed, and the other four crowded around him.

“Well, it’s just… ‘Harmony Labs’ suggests that there’s an actual place called Harmony Labs, maybe?” he posited.

Cory waved his hand in a so-so motion. “That might be to throw off suspicion, by disguising it as a business name,” he countered.

“Who would she need to throw off suspicion from? We’re the only ones reading this,” Avery retorted.

“Why don’t we just ask Celestia if ‘Harmony Labs’ is a real place? Seems she’d know, or at least point us somewhere,” Nick pointed out.

“Hey, did anyone notice the explosions stopped?” Cory commented. They all started as they realized that there had not been an earthshaking tremor for quite some time now.

“Come on, let’s go just in case another one’s building up,” Brayden encouraged, hopping to his feet.

The five of them made their way to the throne room in under a minute, which seemed like a mockery of the solid half hour or so it had taken Sam each time before.

“Princess Celestia?” Sam called out to the empty throne room, wondering if she was hiding somewhere.

“Luna? Uh… Twilight?” Nick added, looking around.

“Um… maybe we should find a Guard?” Cory asked.

“Weren’t they all sent to that one outpost Celestia had a problem with?” Avery reminded him.

“Guys!” they heard, and all five of them whipped around. Kylie walked in, accompanied by a very disgruntled Princess Cadance and uncertain-looking Shining Armor.

“Hey, Kylie! Any luck?” Nick asked, and Kylie shook his head, sighing.

“Nothing. Cadance tried every spell she knew, even levitation doesn’t work on me.” Shining lit his horn, struggling as he apparently tried something before giving up with a shrug.

“Seems like it doesn’t work on any of you. Name’s Cap… er, Prince Shining Armor, of the Crystal Kingdom. Nice to meet you!” he introduced, shaking Sam’s hand vigorously.

“And I am Princess Cadance of the Crystal Kingdom, and the Alicorn of Love. The pleasure is mine,” Cadance added, doing the same.

Sam felt slightly woozy – it was like meeting celebrities. “Yeah… nice to… uh… meet you,” he replied, cringing at his own words.

“So, does your kind normally not respond to magic, or is this new for you too?” Cadance asked.

“Well, none of us have really… seen magic before, so… we don’t know,” Sam answered truthfully.

Cadance and Shining Armor exchanged a surprised glance. “But magic is everywhere! The plants, the trees, the clouds, even the rocks all have some magic,” Cadance exclaimed.

“Yeah, not gonna lie, for somepony not to have magic is… really weird. Like, defying-the-laws-of-physics weird,” Shining agreed.

“Huh. Well, we’re supposed to be the new Elements of Harmony, or something… how are we gonna do that if we can’t use magic?” Brayden asked worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Princess Twilight has some ideas. She knows practically everything about magic, after all,” Cadance dismissed.

Shining gave a knowing laugh. “You know they actually invite her to teach at Canterlot Academy for Gifted Unicorns every semester? She keeps having to deny the invitation on account of all the other stuff she’s doing, but she really wants to.”

Sam snorted. “She’s definitely the right type to be a teacher,” he agreed.

“Hey, um. Hate to switch subject, but are there any more earthquakes coming?” Nick asked.

Cadance shrugged. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna ran off to deal with that a short while ago, along with the rest of the Guard. No idea what they’re doing, but it seems to be working.”

Shining snorted. “I’d like to see the earthquake that could stop Twily,” he joked.

“Anyway, how have things been going? It must be nervewracking, being in a new dimension. I’m not sure I could handle that kind of weirdness,” Cadance remarked curiously.

Sam looked around at the brightly colored walls, and down at his own body. “Eh, it’s not that different from home. Maybe a little more colorful than usual, but I think that’s just how things are here?” he remarked.

Cadance raised her eyebrow, intrigued. “Do tell,” she enquired.

“Well, our bodies haven’t really adapted in any way that we can tell to this new place. We can still breathe oxygen, we look the same and feel the same, and we don’t have any new powers or anything – except maybe immunity to magic,” Sam allowed.

“Oxygen, huh? We have the same word for it. Means ‘fire generator,’ if I remember,” Shining thought.

“Acid generator, honey. You’re thinking of phlogiston,” Cadance corrected.

“Is phlogiston a thing here? We thought it might be, but I think it got disproven centuries ago,” Sam replied, once again wishing Jeremy were here to explain the science behind it.

“Well, phlogiston in its original context as the ‘burning component’ in physical substance was never found. When we found a fundamental component to combustion and fire elemental magic, I think somepony named it ‘phlogiston’ after that, so we do have something named ‘phlogiston’,” Cadance explained.

“Fire magic, huh…” Sam trailed off.

“So, what-“ Avery began, but was unfortunately cut off by the arrival of Celestia, Luna and Twilight, looking quite out of breath.

“Twily!” Shining greeted, holding out his front hoof for a hug.

Twilight slumped her way into the hug, causing Shining to look at her with concern. “Sorry… BBB…FF… exhausted…” Twilight panted.

“We were trying to open Tartarus, but… something’s locked it, and we can’t get in,” Luna explained.

“Our combined magical efforts did nothing to the Barrier. It seems whatever is causing all those explosions has also managed to completely seal the door,” Celestia added.

“Both doors?” Shining asked incredulously.

Celestia shot him what looked to be a warning glance. “More on that later,” she decided, before turning to the humans with a somewhat strained smile. “How have things been going up here? My apologies for our disappearance, we did not expect this to happen,” she explained.

“It’s okay,” Sam reflexively returned, and Celestia graciously nodded.

“Anyway, your first objective as the new Elements of Harmony…” Celestia paused, thinking, before resuming her speech. “Is to ensure that no disagreements exist between any of your friends. Therefore, I am going to escort you to a nearby study room for the time being, so that you may work out any problems in peace.”

Nick pushed his way to the front of the group. “Um, can I ask you a question first?” he asked.

Celestia appeared surprised. “Very well, what would you like to know?” she wondered.

“Have you ever heard of something called ‘Harmony Labs’? We saw that name on certain… uh… ‘books’ we brought with us, and none of us knew what it was,” Nick asked.

Celestia now appeared openly shocked, and Shining also stared at Nick with incredulity. “Erm… well… ‘Harmony Labs’ is… one of my research institutions,” Celestia explained, the feathers in her wings shifting slightly.

“Oh. What’s the research about?” Nick pressed.

Celestia appeared uncomfortable. “Well, you know, this and that… research institutions study lots of things, dear Nick, and… we don’t have time to quite summarize all of them. Come now, let’s move on. Lots to do!” Celestia announced, leading them onward.

Nick exchanged a worried glance with Sam. “What kind of response was that?” Sam mouthed. Nick shrugged helplessly, glancing at Celestia, who was determinedly not looking at them.

They found the study room to be a very cozy room with a lit fireplace, with six beanbag cushions around a center table. “Very good. We are going to leave you to your own devices here for some time, so make sure to voice any disagreements you may have,” Celestia instructed.

“Good luck!” Twilight called out encouragingly, and closed the door with her magic.

All six humans stared at the door for a moment.

“What’s the betting the door’s locked?” Brayden asked, and the six of them chuckled.

“So, uh… I guess we have to find stuff we disagree about with each other?” Avery began as each of them took their seats on the beanbag chairs.

“Does anyone have anything to really say? I mean, we’ve known each other for years now. We all have a pretty good idea of how we feel about everyone here, I bet,” Sam remarked.

“I think that Kylie is entirely too handsome,” Brayden joked, and Kylie laughed appreciatively.

“Oh yeah, big guy? Well, you’re entirely too strong and noble!” he shot back, and Avery and Cory joined in on the laughter.

“Sam needs to stop being so fluffy! We all have this irresistible urge to rub his fluffy sweater, and that’s going to be a combat disadvantage!” Avery joined in.

They all hooted in laughter, some falling off their beanbags as they rolled on the floor laughing.

“Okay, okay… seriously. If anyone has anything to say about anyone else, now’s the best time we’re gonna get,” Sam wheezed out as they slowly calmed down, still stifling some giggles of his own.

“Uh… Avery’s kind of overselling his story, does that count?” Cory asked.

“Yeah, I am… in my defense, I’m trying to market to an audience, but at the same time trying to make sure it’s something the audience would like, so I test it out with you guys… does that make sense?” Avery replied.

“Yeah, I mean, someone’s gotta sell your stuff,” Sam agreed.

“Yeah… I’ll try to be less obnoxious about it, though,” Avery decided.

“Hey, we did a friendship thing!” Kylie announced eagerly, to scattered chuckles.

“Okay… anyone else?” Sam asked.

“Cory, can you please stop insisting that music is the best form of art? We get it, it’s your thing and you love the heck out of it, but it makes other artists feel inferior,” Nick asked.

“Wait, does it? Shoot, my bad, I was trying not to make it sound like that. Uh… yeah, I’ll try to do that less,” Cory allowed.

“Wow, we’re great at this,” Kylie cheered. “It hasn’t even been five minutes and we’re already two for two!” The others grinned at his enthusiasm.

“Anything else?” Sam continued, surprised that this was working so well. Was there something in the air here that made disagreements easier to resolve… or was it just the nagging thought that if they didn’t, the world might just be at stake?

But try as they might, nobody could voice any further complaints. They lapsed into silence once more, laying back in their beanbag chairs and staring up at the flickering light casted onto the ceiling by the fireplace.

“The problem is… we’ve already done most of this stuff before. Everything we said was recent stuff, and totally justified given the circumstances,” Cory mused.

“Yeah… you think Twilight and her friends ever did this?” Nick wondered.

“Probably not, they’re probably just doing this to make it into a ‘curriculum’ of sorts,” Sam hypothesized.

“I bet they’re also doing it to keep us in one place. Celestia basically made this up on the spot, and probably locked us in here. After all, we’re still aliens to them, or something. Gotta make sure we’re not setting the town on fire,” Kylie noted.

“Speaking of which, does anyone wanna actually check the lock? ‘Cause it’d be really funny if we could leave at any point,” Sam noted.

“But these beanbags are so comfy,” Brayden whined.

Eventually, however, someone had to move. The first was Sam, who had spotted the corner of a newspaper peeking out from the table above his head. He reached up and grabbed it, reluctantly sitting up to read what it said. “Huh?” he wondered.

“Hey, Nick. Didn’t you say when… ‘Thorax’ defeated Chrysalis, he inherited the kingdom?” he asked.

“Yeah, why?” Nick replied sleepily.

“Says here he’s been kicked out by some of the other ‘changelings’ who didn’t turn all colorful. He’s moved to the Crystal Kingdom, along with the other colorful ones.”

Nick sat upright. “You think Chrysalis is active again?” he asked.

Sam shook his head. “Says she was successfully captured, and is currently in Tartarus. It also says she’s ‘in no fit state to orchestrate this attack’… what does that even mean?” he wondered.

“Probably means she’s badly hurt, or something?” Brayden theorized, looking concerned.

“Considering she was the only one smart enough to beat Twilight and the other three alicorns, good,” Kylie dismissed.

“Don’t be so quick to dismiss her, Kylie, we might end up having to befriend her later,” Nick warned, and Kylie looked uncomfortable. He wasn’t the only one, as Sam shifted awkwardly at the thought of having to befriend an apparently quite murderous and vicious insectoid queen.

“Hopefully Twilight or somebody’ll take care of that one for us…” Brayden muttered.

“…So… what do we do now? We’re all pretty much done with working out our ‘differences’, so… uh…” Cory trailed off.

“Let's see if we can even get out of here,” Sam noted.

To their half-surprise, the door was open. Sam peeked out, surprised further to find that nobody was waiting for them in the corridor.

“Place is deserted again,” he announced to the others.

“What are they even dealing with that’s taking so long?” Cory complained.

“Probably something extremely dangerous, and yet utterly infantile,” Nick muttered.

“No sense standing around. If we’re going to be the Elements of Harmony and blast stuff with friendship lasers, we might as well get started on it,” Sam decided.

To their surprise, they found Princess Celestia, as well as a multitude of other ponies, waiting in the throne room. What seemed like the entirety of the Royal Guard, of both Day and Night types, were packed into the room, looking exhausted but with minimal injuries. Shining Armor patrolled among them, stopping here and there to assist with first aid for those who were hurt or speak with higher-ranked officers in hushed, tense voices. Ponies everywhere were checking their flanks, seemingly examining their Cutie Marks, though Sam could not quite see what they were so desperately searching for. Cadance and Luna watched, matching worried expressions on their faces. Twilight appeared to be dealing with a small army of nobility and newsponies, barely visible among the flurry of microphones and bodies. But none of this drew so much attention as Celestia did, alone as she was on her throne. Her every muscle was tense, wings held tightly to her sides as she glanced around wildly at the room. Her face spoke of a controlled calm, hiding what the humans clearly recognized as panic.

“What the heck is happening?” Kylie whispered, watching her.

“Something’s gone wrong,” Brayden murmured. “Something’s gone really wrong.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Nick hissed. “We’re the protagonists, shouldn’t we go and check it out?”

Sam hushed him with a gesture. “Wait, she’s saying something!” he hissed back, the rest of them immediately falling silent so he could hear. Luna had trotted up to Celestia, and the two appeared to be quietly conversing. Fortunately, Sam had developed an odd but rather useful talent for reading lips.

“…sure that there is nothing down there that could cause this?” Luna asked.

“No, Lulu, there isn’t. I’ve no idea how this happened,” Celestia replied, clearly exasperated with her younger sibling.

“You said this was just ‘preliminary research’, and yet I think that there is quite a lot you have not told me! Am I not to be trusted?” Luna shot back, visibly getting angrier. Looking around, she remembered herself, and hastily adjusted her body language to look less intimidating.

“I’m not keeping any secrets from you, Luna! If I haven’t told you something, it is because I did not consider it important, not because I don’t trust you!” Celestia pleaded, though she looked more nervous still.

“Important? As in, containing ourself important?!” Luna hissed, posture dripping with sarcasm.

Celestia tugged at her collar anxiously. “Not now, Lulu. Please. We need to focus on fixing this,” she begged.

Luna stomped a hoof in frustration. “Very well! We will solve this, and then you and I are going to talk, sister!” With that, she spun around, fuming angrily as she headed straight for them.

“Quick, act natural!” Sam whispered to the rest, and they scrambled to look as though they hadn’t been peeking around and eavesdropping.

Muttering angrily, Princess Luna nearly ran right into them, eyes darting up in rage as she realized there was someone blocking her way. Her expression quickly lightened as she caught sight of the six of them.

“O-oh! You are finished early?” she asked, her angry muttering tone having vanished in a split second.

“Yeah, we thought we’d come down here and tell you. What, uh… what’s going on?” Sam inquired as politely as he could.

Luna grimaced. “Well… it seems the guard post we mentioned earlier has become… er, that is… we’re unable to enter anymore,” she answered.

“What guard post is that?” Cory bluntly asked.

“Er… it’s… well, it’s Tartarus,” Luna reluctantly admitted.

“…The same Tartarus that keeps all those villains locked up,” Sam clarified, and Luna nodded. “Well. That is a problem. You think they got out?” he asked nervously.

Luna shook her head. “It would take an outsider to free them from their cages, and even then, none could cross the Barrier keeping them all in. We are in little danger… but it is nervewracking nonetheless, to be unable to even observe our prisoners,” she explained.

“I guess that makes sense,” Avery muttered.

“Anyway… we do not have any further instruction for you at this time, so perhaps I may escort you back to your chambers?” Luna offered.

Sam looked back at the others. They shook their heads, some resolute, some nervous. “I think we’ll stay here, actually,” Sam agreed. “Best to be ready if anything happens.”

Luna looked at him in surprise. “You are braver than I hoped,” she replied approvingly. “But… you must remember that some of these villains are thousands of years old. They have seen every trick in the book, and underestimating them will come at immense risk both to you and to Equestria.”

Sam shrugged. “Twilight and her friends beat them before, right? If they can, then we at least stand a chance.”

Luna sighed. “…That is true, but… All the same. Be careful, humans. I do not wish to see you hurt, not by… not by them,” the Princess of the Night sadly remarked.

“We will be, Princess,” Sam affirmed.

Luna trotted past them, her expression speaking of centuries of weariness. “For your sake, I hope so,” Sam thought he heard her whisper.

They walked up to Princess Celestia next. “What did my sister speak to you about?” she demanded without preamble.

“We asked what was going on. She said something about you and the Guards not being able to get into Tartarus, but she told us we weren’t in much danger because they still couldn’t escape, and reminded us that we shouldn’t go rushing to meet peril for the sake of adventure,” Sam recapped.

Celestia visibly relaxed. “Good… I almost thought she was… encouraging you to try. She can be quite adventurous herself, sometimes. Did I ever tell you of the time she defeated a whole cave full of Ursa Majors?” Celestia asked awkwardly.

“…No…?” Sam answered, perplexed at this sudden and rather irrelevant tangent.

Celestia blinked, and shook herself, seemingly coming out of a reverie as she looked around at the worried Guards and squabbling nobility. “Ah… perhaps another time. Anyway… perhaps there is something you can do to help. Come with me,” Celestia commanded. She got up off her throne, Cadance glancing at her curiously as she led the six humans out of the room.

They traveled down a series of winding spiral stairs, then across a dimly lit corridor, then down another set of spiral stairs that seemed endless. The décor had changed midway through to a more gray, distinctly dungeon theme, and Sam shivered as he caught sight of a door with a heavy iron brace over it.

“These are the palace dungeons, as you might have guessed. We have not had to use them in centuries, so please forgive the… decorations,” Celestia explained as they descended. “Though they are imposing, they were only for the petty offenders, those who stood a chance at rehabilitation given enough therapy and counseling. Tartarus… is different. Tartarus is for those whose crimes are irredeemable, and whose tenure on this planet is infinitely longer than mortal ponies. Those who have no hope of ever returning to the path of light are interred there, and it is there to which we go.”

“But Tartarus has closed its doors to us. Upon the locked doors, six symbols have appeared. We thought they might be Cutie Marks of those allowed to pass, at first, so we searched our Guard for those who might possess those Marks. However, it seems that none do. Thus, I am hoping that you can provide some insight as to these marks’ purpose,” Celestia explained.

She paused a moment on the steps, Sam almost bumping into her sizable tail.

“Humans don’t get Cutie Marks, do they…?” she wondered aloud, looking back at him.

It took Sam a moment to realize she had asked them a question. “Uh, no, no we don’t,” he answered hurriedly.

“…Pity,” Celestia murmured, resuming her stride down the seemingly endless stairs.

They passed many heavy doors, most of which looked to be made of solid metal or, as they went further and further down, carved stone. Celestia opened these with little difficulty, changing from politely using her magic to simply shoving them aside with a single hoof as they descended more and more into the mountain. There were no windows on the sides of the staircase anymore, which made Sam think they were underground – which, technically, they were. Most of the humans were tired at this point, as even walking down so many stairs was exhausting. The only one who still had breath was Brayden, who merely looked mildly tired as he continued to jog down the winding staircase to keep with Celestia’s increasing pace.

By the time they reached the bottom, the humans were panting with exhaustion, though Celestia looked barely tired.

“Here we are,” she announced, staring at the doors with what looked like apprehension.

“Tartarus.”

The door was ancient, and encrusted with what looked like glowing blue stone. It was made of iron, and now that Sam thought of it, he couldn’t recall anything else being made of iron or steel in this world. How odd. Six symbols were indeed inscribed on the door, and he studied these carefully. One drew his attention in particular: what appeared to be a crystalline, six-pointed equiaxial star. As he drew closer to examine it, the star lit up bright blue, and Celestia gasped.

“The door is reacting to your presences! Quickly, all of you, come forth!” she urged.

The other humans cautiously stepped forward, and the other five symbols quickly lit up, shades of green, navy, cyan, silver and red light joining the blue. As Sam reached out to touch his ‘symbol’ wonderingly, it clicked, the circular inscription sliding away to reveal a cavity within the door. Inside was what appeared to be a physical representation of the inscription – a blue, six-pointed crystal, encased in an X-shaped headband that appeared to be made of…

“By the Creator,” Celestia breathed. “Human Sam, that is one of the rarest materials in the world. Anypony that got their hooves on this would be rich beyond measure.”

Sam looked at the others, whose expressions were quite clear. Do NOT tell her it’s made of plastic.

Shrugging, he took it out of the circular cavity, and tried to put it on, encountering great difficulty in getting it to stay still on his curly hair.

Brayden tapped him on the shoulder. “I think it’s upside-down,” he informed Sam, who upon flipping it the right way up was immediately able to don it with little difficulty.

“…Thanks...” he muttered.

Brayden snorted, and reached for his own Element symbol, a bronze shield with a bronze lance and sword crossed behind it. “Kinda reminds me of the logo for the Knights,” he muttered as it clicked and began to open.

“Because whoever’s giving us these Elements of Harmony definitely picked yours according to your favorite football team,” Avery snorted.

To little surprise, Brayden pulled out the shield depicted in his symbol. “What, just the shield?” he asked, and nearly dropped his Element as it lit up yellow, expanding. He now held a massive bronze greatsword, nearly as tall as he was.

“Okay… that’s cool,” Avery admitted after a moment as Brayden hefted the sword in delight.

Cory was next to venture forth, and the rightmost symbol began glowing with a royal blue color. The symbol itself was that of a painting easel, a tiny paintbrush visible on it.

“What, just painting?” Cory complained. “I do so much more than that.” For some reason, Celestia’s ear flicked at this statement, and Sam glanced at her. She seemed almost… intrigued? He returned his attention to Cory, who had reached inside to find a paintbrush.

“This is all I get? I mean, I guess I can’t exactly carry around a massive painting easel, but I just get a tiny paintbrush?” he whined, looking frustrated.

“Try drawing in the air with it,” Sam suggested, unsure where that particular thought had come from.

Cory did so, and to his shock he found that he could, in fact, draw in midair, a smudge of blue paint visibly floating behind where he had drawn. “Whoa… alright, that’s pretty neat,” Cory breathed.

“Dude, I bet you’re like Paint Roller from Kirby!” Kylie exclaimed excitedly.

“Who?” Cory asked, baffled.

“He draws stuff and it becomes real,” Sam explained.

“Oh. Oh. I am gonna have fun with this,” Cory declared, and the blue floating line of paint vanished as he stashed the magic paintbrush in his pocket.

“Okay, uh… next?” Sam announced.

Kylie hesitantly stepped forward, looking at the leftmost symbol. It was a microphone, glowing a bright ruby red and with two shadows cast from it cut into the stone circle that represented his Element.

“So, do I just, like, reach for it?” he asked hesitantly, and Sam nodded encouragingly.

Kylie reached out to his Element, hand trembling in suspense as the circle clicked open and slid to the side. He pulled out a ruby-red microphone, and stared at it in consternation. “What… does it do?” he wondered.

Sam shrugged. “Uh… maybe you’ll find out later?” he tried.

“Hmm,” Kylie answered, clearly disappointed.

Next up was Avery, who was staring at an Element on the lower right that was glowing a cyan blue.

“Hey, how come three of our symbols are blue? That’s unfair color representation,” Cory remarked from behind him.

“I like this color blue,” Avery shot back, and reached for his Elemental symbol, which appeared to be a paper with indecipherable words written on it, along with a feathery quill and a bottle of ink.

“Who could have guessed that the guy who writes stories would have gotten writing supplies for his Element?” Brayden returned at Avery from his earlier comment.

Avery laughed good-naturedly. “Alright, alright, you got me. Still. The original Elements’ designs were way better.” He pulled out a quill, already dripping with ink from an unknown source.

“See if you can write in the air!” Cory suggested.

Avery attempted to do so, only to find that the quill wouldn’t respond. “Darn. Maybe it needs paper?” he wondered.

“Perhaps so. You may find that you can ‘write’ about events that are happening and change their course,” Celestia suggested.

Avery raised his eyebrows. “That… is overpowered,” he stated bluntly, and Kylie snorted with amusement.

Last was Nick, who was gazing at the only remaining symbol, a set of cards, coins and other objects that was glowing lime green.

“Go on!” Kylie encouraged.

“Well, what am I even gonna get? A coin to flip? A card to… I dunno, do a Yu-Gi-Oh duel or something with?” Nick wondered.

“You won’t find out unless you go for it,” Sam reminded him.

“Oh, alright, fine,” Nick grumbled, but his face showed more nervousness than frustration. He reached out towards the glowing green circle, and it clicked open to reveal… A single stamp, sitting almost forlornly in the large circular cavity.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Nick groaned. “What am I even gonna do with this? Show my enemies my stamp collection to befriend them?”

Sam shrugged. “I bet it’s actually the most useful one, and we just don’t know what it does yet,” he hypothesized in an attempt to cheer Nick up.

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Nick grumbled.

“Do not look so dismayed, Nick! Many ponies who think their Cutie Marks are useless simply find that they are not looking at them in the right way,” Celestia soothed.

“How so?” Nick asked grumpily.

“A pony once came to me believing his talent at magic was all just theory, and that he was completely worthless at casting it. I reminded him that we would not have magic to cast without proper research. Instead of only seeing what your Element can’t do, why not try focusing on what it can do?” the Princess of the Sun encouraged.

“…Alright…” Nick muttered.

With no symbols left glowing, the door once again returned to cold, unyielding steel. Celestia pushed against it experimentally, but it seemed the metal would not yield to her touch. “…It seems that although you six have obtained your Elements of Harmony, this door still refuses to open,” Celestia admitted, poking at it. “…Perhaps we will discover more tomorrow? The hour is rather late. Allow me to teleport you back to your room,” she offered. She lit her horn bright yellow, and disappeared in a flash of light, Sam blinking as the room quickly returned to its former dimness.

“Uh…” Cory trailed off. “Is she gonna…?”

He was cut off from saying anything else as Celestia reappeared, surveying them with a frown. “Ah… I forgot that you are not affected by… our magic. In that case…” she mused, lost in thought.

“Um. Princess Celestia?” Kylie spoke up timidly.

“Hmm?” Celestia hummed, clearly only barely paying attention as she continued to ponder.

“Well, it’s just – Cadance tried a lot of magic earlier, and we found that stuff that affected the world around us, like temperature spells, wind, stuff like that still worked. It’s just that any magic casted directly on a human seems to fail,” Kylie explained falteringly.

It took a moment for his words to reach Celestia, who raised her eyebrows as she processed this. “Oh? In that case…” she trailed off, lighting her horn again. Aiming it at the wall, she fired a bolt of magic that quickly expanded into a yellow hole in space, Sam’s room visible on the other side.

“Huh. Just like Portal…” Sam murmured to the others as he watched it swirl around, small yellow tongues of flame marking the entrance to the wormhole.

“I bet Rarity wishes she could do this, so she could run both of her stores,” Nick whispered to Brayden, who nodded with a smile.

Celestia turned to them with a frown. “How… do you know who Rarity is…?” she asked carefully.

Nick froze, expression turning to one of shock as he realized what he had just done. “Uh… Ehehe… Um…” he stuttered, unable to form a response.

“Twilight never told you about her. I know this because she specifically told me that you were to meet her friends at a later date, and she was saving all information until then. Also, Avery mentioned something about ‘the original Elements’ designs’ being better. How do you know these things, despite being from another world?” Celestia demanded, narrowing her eyes.

“It’s a book!” Sam interjected, jumping in front of Avery.

“A book?” Celestia inquired.

“Or, actually, a TV show. Like a book made of moving pictures. The main character is Twilight Sparkle, who has a bunch of friendship lessons with her five friends and goes on adventures occasionally,” Sam amended.

“This ‘tee-vee show' sounds similar to a movie, which we have,” Celestia mused.

“So, yeah, we knew about you because you’re a fictional character back home, and we thought it’d be a little awkward to tell you, and-“ Sam rambled, but Celestia held up a hoof to stop him.

“I understand. But… you must tell no one about this, least of all Twilight,” she sternly commanded. The six humans hurriedly nodded their assent, none of them eager to further anger an alicorn with the power to incinerate all of them in seconds. “…Very well. I will ask that you also at least act surprised to meet Twilight’s friends,” Celestia suggested.

“Yeah, we will!” Sam agreed nervously.

“Good. Goodnight, humans, I will see you tomorrow,” Celestia finished, and teleported away without another word.

Avery turned to the others.

“Well? We’re fucked,” he summed up.

They returned to their beds in silence, each wondering what tomorrow would bring. The day had been such a confusing whirlwind of events and dialogue that Sam didn’t even know what to think about it. He tried to close his eyes and go to sleep once the others had left, but he just couldn’t stop thinking that there was something important that he had missed. Some crucial detail of conversation that he should have been paying attention to… but instead, his mind kept returning to the fact that Celestia now knew that her entire world was fictional to them. How would that affect her? How would it affect them?

Chapter 3

Sam walked through the dripping caverns, a glimmering red crystal giving off soft crimson light as he held it at the ready. A white box with a red cross over it bounced against his leg, held up by his jean strap. He didn’t quite remember why, but he felt a sense of… guilt. What had he done? Sam tried to remember, but came up with nothing as he walked onward, the blindingly white path below him illuminated by the orange-yellow torches above. He found his way to an exit, and stepped into the darkness, his only source of light now the crystal he was holding in his black-and-white-sleeved hand. As the red sphere of visibility passed over rocks, throwing them into bloodred shadows, he noticed another cave exit to the side of the tunnel he was currently going down. Curious, he peeked inside. The tunnel there was so narrow that he would have to turn sideways to pass, and yet… It sloped up. Up was good, up meant freedom. Therefore, he should at least check it out. He began slowly, cautiously making his way through the jagged, narrow path, edging around the sharp corners and bends and occasionally scraping his torso against the wet rock. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime of careful movement, he emerged out the other side to find… a closed room. There was no further path to follow. He cast his crystal’s light on the walls, and was surprised to find that someone had written there. Or rather… drawn. Hearts were everywhere, hundreds of them carved into the wall and ceiling and floor and even the stalagmites on the ground. Interspersed with these were occasional drawings of some stick figures, and Sam looked closer at these. One appeared to be a horse-like creature, with a long, crooked something jutting out of its forehead. It appeared to be smiling with glee, and standing on top of a different horse-thing that was shorter, and had what appeared to be an asterisk cut into its hind leg. The horse-thing that was being stood upon had crossed-out eyes – evidently, it was meant to be dead. Sam looked away, confused and slightly afraid. He found another drawing, this time of the crooked-horn thing from earlier next to a different horse-thing, which was smiling as well and not dead. Written above and below the inscription were the words “Just Married,” and Sam noticed that the crooked-horned one had some kind of dress on… a wedding dress. He gulped nervously. Looking around, he noticed that the hearts weren’t the only thing that were repeatedly carved into the rock. The words “LOVE ME” were everywhere, and Sam felt a distinct twinge of panic as he looked around at this. He needed to leave. Now. He made to find the exit, only to find that something had blocked the way, wandering around in a dazed pattern as it muttered and chittered quietly to itself. Sam took a step back, and it heard this, freezing in place. Slowly, it turned to look at him. The last thing Sam saw were two brilliant green eyes, looking as though something had fractured behind them.

Sam woke up with a muffled cry, bolting upright. A cold sweat had broken out all over his body, and the pillow and sheets were unpleasantly damp. “Jesus…” Sam breathed, panting slightly. He hadn’t had a nightmare in a very long time. A thought occurred to him, and he got up, hurriedly crossing the room to pick up a quill, bottle of ink, and a sheet of parchment. Before he could forget, he wrote down as much of the dream as he could remember, which was quite a bit – that dream had felt real. It took him a half hour to describe everything he had seen, and even then he felt as though he had forgotten a few things. Sam considered what he knew about dreams – or rather, what Jeremy had found out when he briefly looked it up. Dreams were supposed to be a collage of stitched-together memories, objects and faces, as random neurons fired while the brain was unconscious to create the world of the dream and distract the brain from its background processes. But this might not be the case here. Here in Equestria, dreams could actually occupy their own world, or involve conscious thought. Wouldn’t Princess Luna know about that? Sam resolved to ask her as soon as he could.

He got up again and stepped outside, standing on the entrance to the staircase as he looked out at Canterlot. The sun had not yet risen, and the stars were still twinkling overhead.

“Oh, hey. Pretty, isn’t it?” a voice called from his left, and he looked over to find Brayden watching as well.

“How long did you sleep?” Sam asked in concern, and Brayden shrugged.

“I got into the habit of waking up real early. Like, 5 in the morning early. I was gonna go for a run, but… I remembered Celestia might not want us to run around the city.”

Sam sighed. “Yeah… I just had a really weird dream, and I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

Brayden looked at him quizzically. “You know… weird dreams in fantasy stories are typically some kind of premonition. Did you write it down?” he asked, and Sam chuckled.

“Yeah, I did. I know that much, Brayden, come on. I’ve listened to Avery for longer than five minutes.”

Brayden laughed softly as well. “Heh. Yeah, that would tend to do it. What was the dream about?” he inquired.

Sam quickly explained, and Brayden’s eyebrows went higher and higher as he described the strange, dripping caves. By the time Sam had finished, the sun had risen to take the moon’s place, and things were slowly waking up out in Canterlot, ponies beginning to trickle into the city.

“So this place was underground, huh?” he asked, and Sam shrugged.

“It felt like it. In the dream, I definitely felt like I wanted to go up, so I might have been trying to reach the surface?”

Brayden considered this. “Hmm. If I remember my dream symbolism right, that means you’ve fallen from grace, and want to return to what you were before.”

Sam raised an eyebrow at him. “…Is dream symbolism a thing here?” he asked, and Brayden shrugged.

“Nick would know that better than we do,” he reminded Sam, who merely sighed in response. “Anyway, that red crystal you said you were holding. Why do you think you were holding it?” Brayden wondered.

“I think it was some kind of flashlight at that moment… it gave off light. Red light. But also… it was pretty sharp. I think it might have been meant… as some kind of weapon?” Sam mused.

“G’morning, guys. What’s a kind of weapon?” Cory asked curiously, walking down the spiral staircase to meet them. Sam quickly recapped, and Cory shrugged in response. “Dreams… aren’t really my thing. The only thing I know about them is that they’re really abstract and meaningless? Anyway, I’m heading out to get breakfast, it’s 10 AM according to my phone,” Cory informed them.

“Oh, shoot, we should do that too,” Sam realized.

“Maybe we can catch Luna while we’re there, and ask her?” Brayden hoped.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sam agreed, and the three of them set off.

To their surprise, Luna was not only at the cafeteria, she was waiting for them. “Come with me,” she ordered as soon as she spotted Sam.

“Can we come?” Cory asked.

“If you wish. I would suggest that you break your fast first, though, as this concerns Sam only,” Luna answered.

Cory looked between the tables and Sam with indecision, and Brayden chuckled. “Come on, Cory. Sam can fill us in later.” Sam waved goodbye to the two of them as Luna glanced impatiently at him.

They reached the throne room, where Celestia was curiously absent, and crossed to the left, traveling up a series of stairs before they stopped in front of a door with a single crescent moon on it, two Royal Guards saluting as they saw Luna stop in front of it. “My chambers,” she explained, pushing open the door.

The first thing Sam noticed about Luna’s room was the bed. It was shaped like a giant crescent moon, with the actual bedspread in the center of the lower curve. The sheet was a dark purple, and the pillows were an equally dark blue, made of what appeared to be a metallic-colored fabric. Apart from the fancy bed, the rest of the room was sparse: Only a bathroom, desk and dresser greeted Sam’s vision, looking as pristine as though they had just been moved in.

“I recorded your dreams on this night, human Sam. What I found upon doing so was… most interesting.” She crossed to the desk, horn lighting as a small, octahedral blue crystal began to glow with an inner light. To Sam’s shock, a beam of light shot out of it, playing scenes on the wall like a projector. He watched as his dream replayed, looking fuzzy and indistinct except for all but a few areas.

“Why is the… uh… ‘quality’ so low?” Sam asked.

Luna raised an eyebrow. “In dreams, nothing is distinct except that which you are focusing your attention on. You’ll notice that the crystal in your dream self’s hands is perfectly distinct compared to its surroundings, because your dream self kept looking at it.”

Sam nodded, intrigued. “Okay, so… I wrote down what I could remember of this, and discussed it with Brayden and Cory. Do you think this… is some kind of foresight? Something that’ll happen in the future?” he asked.

Luna shook her head. “Not the future, no. The present. That corridor is well-known to me, I traversed it quite often. It is one of the many paths one may encounter in Tartarus. And from what I can tell from my limited glimpses of the figure in the dream, t’was not you down there.”

Sam paled as he realized the implications of this. “So, what, there’s another human trapped down there?” he asked, voice going up an octave.

Luna hummed in thought, concerned. “If so, they should be safe provided they do not stray off the main paths. Even inside the Prison, prisoners are still secured. Though, judging by the ending of that dream, they may have already paid the price of curiosity,” Luna noted forlornly.

“Who… who was that, at the end?” Sam asked, worried.

“Queen Chrysalis. Before she was captured, she was one of the most dangerous threats to the nation. Cunning, deceptive, and with the ability to shapeshift, she led her changelings to invade our kingdom twice. From what I hear of their new leader Thorax, she was also responsible for fostering an attitude of deep mistrust and hatred between our two races. Of the few prisoners that are currently trapped down there, she is one of the two – one of the few I would not believe can be reformed,” Luna hastily corrected herself.

Sam chose to ignore that particular Freudian slip. “So… what happened after she was captured? You implied something about her changed,” he commented.

Luna sighed. “She… she has gone completely insane. You saw the carvings around her chamber – those were all her work. She’s lost in memories, unable to even recognize her tormentors anymore. We do not know quite how it happened, but… she is no longer of much threat to anyone.”

Sam swallowed nervously. “S-so the human in there could have survived, r-right? If she’s not much of a threat?” he hoped aloud.

Luna looked at him. “I would indeed hope so, but… without the ability to open Tartarus, we are left unable to find out. Do not worry, human Sam. Harmony would never let those she summoned come to such harm.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “What do you know about Harmony?” he asked curiously.

Luna shrugged. “As little as everypony else. She was an incredibly reclusive alicorn even when she was alive – as might be expected, given that everything she has ever said or done has been documented in some fashion, and told, and retold... What we do know is that she was, by all accounts, a very friendly and helpful being to those she met, never once begrudging anypony anything.”

Sam hummed thoughtfully. “You said Harmony created the original Tartarus?” he asked.

Luna nodded. “The modern Tartarus is built directly over the older version, with additional protocols in place to keep subjects from leaving. We used to host a tour, every now and then… at least, according to my sister, we did. Lately, though, it seems she has been keeping the work done there a bit more secret.” Sam didn’t even have to remember her conversation with Celestia from earlier to recognize the unmistakable note of bitterness in her voice.

“Well… she probably has a good reason. It is a prison, after all,” he tried to reassure her.

Luna rolled her eyes. “We Equestrians pride ourselves on the transparency of our operations, Sam. Our prisons are one of our least secretive areas.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Really? Huh. That’s… nice,” he replied uncertainly.

“Indeed,” Luna agreed, evidently bored. “Away to breakfast with you, human Sam. I will discuss this event with my sister.” Feeling as though he’d failed some sort of test, Sam quickly bade her goodbye and made for breakfast.

A while later, the six humans were sitting at the gargantuan dining hall table, finishing off their breakfast. Sam was explaining all that had transpired in the last six hours.

“...And that’s what happened,” he finished recapping.

“Jeez, she’s as cold as ever, huh?” Nick quipped.

Sam shrugged. “I… I dunno. I probably should have said better stuff?”

Brayden patted him on the shoulder. “No sense worrying about it now. So… what do we do today?” he asked.

Sam shrugged. “Go find Celestia, and… plan out a friendship lesson?” With no other suggestions, they packed up their plates and left to do just that.

To their surprise, they found Celestia and a gaggle of other ponies waiting for them in the throne room. “Ah! Speaking of which, here they come now,” Celestia introduced, motioning them over. “Sam, these are some of Twilight Sparkle’s friends, with most being former Elements of Harmony. Our lone exception is Starlight Glimmer-“ here a pale lavender unicorn with curly hair that looked suspiciously similar to Twilight waved, blushing slightly at being called out.

“Applejack, the Element of Honesty,” Celestia continued, and the orange cowpony took a short bow.

“Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty,” to which the cyan, rainbow-maned pegasus in question did a loop-de-loop in the air faster than Sam could blink.

“Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter,” the pink earth pony smiled and waved enthusiastically, her hair bouncing as though made of more air than substance.

“Rarity Belle, the Element of Generosity –“

“Oh, please, just Rarity is quite alright,” the white unicorn introduced amiably.

“-who prefers to be known by her forename only,” Celestia finished with a small smile.

“And, finally, we have Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness.” Fluttershy, true to form, was hiding behind Rainbow Dash.

“Come on out, Shy, they’re not gonna hurt’cha,” Applejack cajoled.

“They’re like bears but less fuzzy and more grabby!” Fluttershy whimpered in fear.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that my hair is the fuzziest hair in existence!” Sam pretended to complain, shooting a smile at her once he caught her eye.

Despite herself, Fluttershy’s mouth quirked upward in a smile. “What… are you?” she asked.

“They are humans, Fluttershy. Beings similar to those Twilight encountered in Star Swirl’s Mirror, though less… colorful,” Celestia noted, glancing at them.

“Oh, my… Twilight never said they were so tall…” Fluttershy noted.

Sam took a seat on the floor. “Better?” he asked, now roughly at eye level with Fluttershy.

“B-better,” she agreed.

“So, these are our replacements? Seems odd that Harmony would send humans to protect a world of ponies, but… I guess I can’t complain?” Starlight wondered.

Celestia tittered. “They’re not permanent replacements, Starlight. Just… apprentices. They will protect their own world in due course, and leave us to ours.”

Starlight nodded understandingly. “Alright! So… when do we get started?” she asked.

“Today, I will ask you to acquaint yourself with these six humans, as well as Twilight has… speaking of which, has anypony seen Twilight?” Celestia asked curiously, looking around.

Applejack shrugged. “We thought she was with you, Princess Celestia,” the cowpony answered bluntly.

“Hmm. I’ll look around for her. Anyway, humans, your assignment for today is to befriend your respective Elements, and learn from them what it means to embody those Elements of Harmony,” Celestia declared.

“O…kay…?” Sam hesitantly agreed, looking curiously at Starlight, who returned his gaze.

“Good luck!” Celestia finished, already heading out the door.

“So… what do you humans like to do for fun?” Starlight asked awkwardly when she was gone.

“Uh… mostly computer stuff… do you… know what a computer is?” Sam replied.

Starlight shook her head. “No, but I’m willing to find out,” she answered, giving him a smile.

A while later, the humans and ponies were playing a few computer games on their respective laptops, phones, and other such electronic devices. Sam was teaching Starlight the intricacies of Final Fantasy, while Rarity and Fluttershy fascinated themselves with Cory’s music player. Applejack, Brayden and Rainbow Dash were discussing sports, with Brayden showing off photos of himself and his team from prior football matches. Nick, Avery, Kylie, and Pinkie were looking at videos of cats on YouTube, which had inexplicably become available, though they couldn’t sign in to post anything.

“So, do you think we’re gonna be saving the world every other Tuesday or something as Elements of Harmony?” Sam asked after a moment.

Starlight snorted. “Doubtful. Twilight once calculated the average time it took between villains and their respective evil plans, and came out with something like 1.011 years, give or take a few months’ deviation.”

Sam laughed. “That’s good to hear, at least we’ll have time to get ready for them.”

Starlight snorted. “Still. Expect to blast a lot of things with rainbow lasers, or whatever.”

Sam chuckled appreciatively. “Lookin’ forward to it,” he quipped, returning to the game.

Twilight arrived after a while, huffing and puffing as she perched on the railing to rest her wings. “Sorry I’m… late…” she wheezed, hopping down onto the staircase and trotting inside.

“Where’ve you been?” Sam asked curiously.

“The library… I was trying to look up information about the Barrier, see if it’s ever done something like this before,” Twilight explained.

“Any luck?” Starlight asked curiously.

Twilight huffed indignantly. “Moon Dancer told me all the books about the Barrier are ‘military documentation,’ and as such I have to request them from my brother,” she grumbled.

Starlight chuckled at Twilight’s irritation. “I dunno, I’ve heard paperwork’s a great gift for your BBBFF,” she jested. Despite herself, Twilight couldn’t help but snicker along with her.

“So… if we humans are immune to magic, how are we supposed to use it? Wouldn’t our Elements just not work, or something?” Avery pointed out.

Twilight hummed in thought. “It may be that you can only use your Elements, or some other such condition. I’m still completely confused as to why you can’t use any magic – even the most basic of animals here can at least be affected by it.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that just be a natural consequence of coming from a world without magic?” he reminded her.

“Yes, but that violates so many natural laws that we thought were set in stone that I refuse to believe that is solely the case,” Twilight scoffed.

“I thought scientists didn’t work on faith?” Cory snarked over at her, and Sam was reminded of a rant Jeremy had had back when they were both still in high school.

Twilight stopped short, giving him a thoughtful frown. “…Okay, true. But still! If your world really has no magic, we’re going to have to rewrite all of thaumaturgy to account for it! Not to mention physics, chemistry, biology…” she listed off, before Starlight put a hoof to her mouth.

“Slow down there, Twilight. We’ll cross those bridges when we come to them.”

Twilight huffed a sigh from behind her hoof, before prying it off with her magic. “…You’re right. Anyway, have any of you tried channeling magic through your Elements of Harmony?” she asked curiously.

“I could draw in the air with this paintbrush,” Cory noted, pulling it out and handing it over for her to inspect.

“This paintbrush is definitely magical, though I don’t recognize the signature of whoever’s spell this is,” Twilight noted, holding it in her magic and examining it closely.

“If it’s an Element of Harmony, then somepony really powerful must have made it,” Starlight added, peering at it as well.

“Wouldn’t that First Alicorn have made it?” Sam asked pointedly.

Twilight scoffed. “Nopony’s seen her in millennia, so we can’t exactly ask.”

Sam gave the others a knowing grimace. “Right… well, anything else we should do today?” he asked.

”Ooh! Can we go out for lunch! I know a great place!” Pinkie volunteered.

“Sure, why not?” Twilight decided, standing up and ruffling her wings to stretch them out.

“Is it that muffin place, Pinkie? Muffins aren’t exactly a full meal,” Starlight pointed out.

Pinkie giggled. “No, silly! It’s this great new café in town called ‘Clawfee Shop! Get it? Like ‘coffee’, but with a claw, because the owner’s a griffon!” she explained, hooking her hoof forward in a claw-like manner to accentuate her point.

“Sounds good to me,” Starlight shrugged.

A half hour later, they were relaxing at the Clawfee Shop. To the humans’ surprise, meat dishes were being served here, and while ponies mostly avoided these, the shop did good business nonetheless. The owner, an immaculately dressed griffon, had first greeted Pinkie as an old friend – apparently they had been pen pals who had quickly gotten to discussing the finer points of cooking. From there, he was surprised to see six aliens and six more ponies accompanying her, and pleased when he found that the humans would take meat dishes. “It’s such a shame that these aren’t ordered more often – ponies really need to loosen up about the whole thing!” he laughed, walking away with their orders.

“So… Meat, huh?” Cory asked as soon as he was gone.

“It’s magically replicated meat,” Twilight corrected.

“So, what, they used a duplication spell on some cow or chicken or something?” Sam wondered, and Twilight shot him a pleased smile.

“Yes, actually! It avoids actually having to hurt, or Celestia forbid kill the animals they harvest the meat from. I hear they’re paid quite well for essentially sitting still and being duplicated, too.” Sam hummed in thought.

“Well, I suppose it would be pretty terrifying to watch pieces of yourself get magically created over and over again and carried away,” Starlight theorized.

After they had finished and paid for their lunch, they thanked the owner, who bowed low. “Come again!” he called as they left the shop, the doorbell jingling as each one of them stepped off of the welcome mat.

“So, that was pretty fun. Now what?” Sam wondered.

Twilight shrugged. “We didn’t really have much planned for today… this whole incident with Tartarus has thrown my curriculum too far off. So… how about we just head back?” she offered. The six humans shrugged in agreement, and they began walking through the busy streets back towards the Canterlot palace.

To their surprise, they found Celestia waiting for them at the doors. “Twilight! There you are. I found nopony at the humans’ quarters and thought something had happened,” she laughed.

“Oh! You’re right, Celestia, I should have sent word,” Twilight sheepishly replied.

“Not to worry, Twilight. A Guard spotted you on the way over, and he told me where you had gone,” Celestia explained.

Sam, who was watching her intently, noticed a slight flick of her ear when she said this. He decided to, as Jeremy might put it, ‘test a theory.’ “Really? Wow, they must have been really unobtrusive, I didn’t see a Guard the whole way,” he replied.

Celestia’s ear twitched more. “Oh, I… pride my Guards on being discreet,” she added, clearly trying to sound casual.

Sam was silent, and Celestia’s smile wobbled slightly. “Seems about right for the Royal Guard!” he finally answered, turning around. “Come on, guys, let’s head back. I’m tired,” he called, and the humans quickly joined him.

Listening carefully, Sam heard a certain alicorn’s quiet exhalation of relief, and grimaced.

“Celestia’s lying to us,” he began as soon as he had checked the windows and doors of his apartment.

“What? How?!” Avery exclaimed.

“How do you know?” Cory added.

“We didn’t see a Guard the whole way back, because they’re all still in the castle trying to deal with Tartarus. When I hinted at that, Celestia tried to cover herself. She’s definitely lying about something big,” Sam explained.

“Like what? Is she spying on us to make herself seem omniscient, or something?” Nick wondered.

“Or maybe she’s trying to cover up something else? Something we might have seen if we’d looked too closely?” Avery added.

“Hey, hey, whoa there! Settle down, everyone. Has it occurred to anyone that Celestia might be lying to us just to appear on top of the situation?” Brayden interrupted.

“…How so?” Sam asked.

“Think about it. She’s dealing with some pretty intense stuff right now. We saw she’s having an argument with her sister, and on top of that the thing with Tartarus is going on. She’s probably just stressed, is all. Doesn’t want us causing additional trouble,” Brayden theorized.

“Hmm… maybe,” Avery cautiously agreed.

“Still, what about the thing with Harmony Labs yesterday? She definitely dodged the question on that, and it was about a research lab,” Nick pointed out.

Brayden shrugged. “Maybe it’s a national security thing. We don’t just tell people what’s going on at NASA, or the Department of Energy and stuff, right?” The others nodded to this. “So maybe she’s conducting some research she doesn’t want other nations to know about just yet. No reason to make her out to be a villain,” Brayden finished, looking at them sternly.

“…Alright, you have a point. We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. But… I would like to actually get an explanation from her,” Sam grumbled.

With not much else to say, they lounged around as the afternoon turned to evening. “Where’d the ponies go, anyway?” Avery wondered, his new magic quill scratching against a piece of parchment.

“Probably off with Celestia… what are you doing?” Cory noticed, sitting up.

“Writing down the stuff that’s happened to us so far. I felt it’d be good to have a record of our adventure,” Avery pointed out.

“Fair enough,” Cory agreed.

“Hey, if we’re looking for stuff to do, maybe we could all start trying to figure out what these Elements can do?” Sam asked sleepily.

“You’re the boss, boss,” Cory snarked, pulling out his paintbrush. “Hey, toss me a parchment sheaf, I want to practice,” he called over to Avery, who wordlessly tossed a heavy roll of parchment at him as he continued to write, not once taking his eyes off his script. Cory caught it, rolling out a paper-sized piece and tearing it off loudly. He looked around. “Anyone got some… aluminum foil, or an easel, or something…?” he wondered.

“You have a magic paintbrush, you can probably just clean up any mess you make by 'erasing' it or something,” Brayden answered, inspecting his massive, golden broadsword.

“…If you say so,” Cory agreed, taking out his tiny paintbrush and beginning to make slow, precise strokes along the border of the parchment.

Sam, meanwhile, was staring at his strange crown, gazing into the cyan six-pointed star jewel. Something iridescent twinkled at the back, deep within the crystal, though Sam couldn’t quite make out what it was. Sighing, he put it on.

So, this is Magic. The most powerful Element. And… I have no clue how to use it, he thought glumly. He looked around at the others. Avery was writing, his inkwell glowing slightly each time he dipped the feather quill into it. Cory was still painting, the parchment about half covered with various glossy hues. Brayden was hefting the sword, tossing it up slightly into the air as it converted between its sword, shield and lance forms. Nick was examining his stamp, a glum expression to match Sam’s own as he looked at it. Kylie was flicking his microphone, no sound coming out despite his finger directly hitting the grill at the top.

“So, uh… anyone have any idea how I can use magic?” Sam hesitantly asked.

“Have you tried the Harry Potter method?” Avery suggested.

Sam looked at him. “Avery, I don’t care if we are in a kids’ show. I am not running around shouting nonsense half-Latin at the top of my lungs.”

Avery chuckled. “What if it’s the only way for you to use magic?” he teased.

Sam went silent for a moment. ”Wingardium Leviosa,” he spoke, looking directly at Avery, and Avery paled. Fortunately for Avery, nothing happened following this pronouncement, and Sam slumped in relief. “Thank goodness, I thought that might work for a second,” he muttered.

“Um… If I remember right, spells in this world consist of a key phrase you have to memorize. Like how the spell that made Twilight an alicorn went… something, something, ‘magic without end?’ It was a rhyme,” Nick tried to remember.

“Nick, that is even worse than the Latin,” Sam grumbled, and Avery laughed.

“But unicorns didn’t rhyme out loud whenever they cast spells – at least, not in the first season,” Brayden pointed out. “Maybe you just have to think it?”

Sam shrugged at this, and glanced at the lone, unused chair at the single desk in the room. Move up, he commanded mentally. Nothing happened.

Move away from the center of the earth, he tried again. To everyone’s surprise, the chair wobbled slightly.

“I think you did something!” Avery noticed, following his gaze to the wobbling chair.

“I think… I have to be more specific,” Sam mused. Ah, hell, why not. Move three feet away from the center of the Earth at a speed of one foot per second, and hover in position there, he tried. Swiftly, the chair rose to hover in the air above them, hanging there.

“Holy…” Brayden breathed, but quickly cut himself off.

“…Wow,” Cory murmured, looking at the chair hanging above him with no support. “Sam, you-“ he stopped as he looked at Sam, who was quickly going blue in the face with effort, clenching his fists as he shook and struggled.

“Sam, stop!” Brayden ordered.

“I don’t know how, it just keeps going!” Sam got out, twitching slightly.

“Order the spell to cease!” Avery tried, rushing to his side.

Sam screwed up his face in concentration, and the chair fell to the floor with an echoing thud a moment later as he slumped over in relief.

“You okay?” Brayden worried, rolling Sam over so that he was facing the ceiling.

“Okay… I learned… that you have… to manually stop a spell,” Sam wheezed, exhausted.

“Jeez, you look like you just ran a marathon,” Cory noted. “Let’s get some food in you.”

A few minutes later, Sam had eaten and was currently resting, following along as best he could with the excited discussion of the others.

“Okay. Avery, you getting this down?” Cory began.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I took notes,” Avery confirmed.

“The one time you take notes, and we aren’t in class,” Nick snarked, and Avery laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, here’s what I got.”

“To do magic, you must first instruct whatever you want to happen as specifically as you can, as Sam told us. This was demonstrated by a levitation spell that lasted for approximately fifteen seconds, before Sam shut it off, leaving him exhausted. Our theory so far is… what’s our theory about this again?” Avery asked, looking up from his writings.

“Well… I think that Sam might be so tired because he doesn’t have much magic to begin with. Kind of like exercising an unused muscle for the first time, and trying to do something really strenuous with it,” Brayden spoke up.

“You think there might be an actual ‘magic muscle’ in unicorns? They do have horns, and those have to be connected to something,” Nick noted.

“Earth ponies and pegasi can use magic too, so there can’t be just one. My guess is that there’s some in the brain and some in the hooves or wings or something,” Sam mumbled sleepily.

“Wow, can’t believe we’re doing science about magic. Your sciency friend would be proud,” Kylie joked, and Sam smiled exhaustedly.

“Yeah…” he agreed, closing his eyes.

“Okay, okay, back on topic. Evidence supporting the ‘not enough magic’ theory is that unicorns can levitate stuff no problem, they do it all the time, probably because they have a lot of magic inside them. Evidence against… uh, anyone have any evidence against that theory?”

Brayden cautiously raised a hand. “Well, uh… if Sam’s the Element of Magic, and he’s conducting magic through his Element… wouldn’t it have a lot of magic, though?” he countered.

Avery considered this. “Okay… yeah, that’s a fair point. Sam, any thoughts?” he asked. Silence answered him.

“Uh, Sam?” Cory asked, poking him.

“He’s asleep,” Kylie pointed out.

“Poor guy, he never had much physical endurance to begin with,” Brayden sighed, turning him around on the bed and tucking him in.

“Maybe we should continue this tomorrow? Wait for Sam to be back to full strength?” Avery asked the group.

“…Nah, I can stay up, and he's already done enough for us to talk about,” Cory denied, idly still painting on his piece of parchment.

“Same,” Kylie agreed, and the other three chorused their agreement.

“Okay, just checking. Anyway…” Avery trailed off.

They continued to discuss things well into the night, unaware that they were being watched. Outside their window, a flurry of bright white wings carried their owner away from the tower, and back to her own.

“What news, sister?” Luna spoke as soon as Celestia landed on their shared parapet.

“They suspect me of lying to them,” Celestia noted sadly. “The larger one – Brayden, I think it was – seemed to think I was under duress, but the others disagree, and think I may be somehow misleading them.”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps you should be more honest with them? We are, in fact, keeping secrets from them,” she pointed out.

Celestia shook her head angrily, whinnying slightly. “We cannot just tell them about – about that! Some things were not meant to be known by our mortal charges,” she argued.

Luna regarded her coldly. “And yet, if Sam’s dreams are anything to go by, they will know eventually, regardless of your feelings. Not to mention the other human currently down there,” she rebutted.

Celestia drooped slightly at that. “I hope he’s alright,” she whispered. Hopefully he wouldn’t go too deep down there…

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

[This was the original story.]

[Before… well, you know what happened.]

[I have posted it here for… posterity, if nothing else. A reminder of how the story should have started.]

Sam slumped over his desk, idly staring down at his notes. His biology teacher droned on, seemingly unaware that the class was in a dazed stupor. The tall, thin, pale-skinned boy with fluffy brown hair and brown eyes to match looked around, eyes roaming the classroom for something to occupy his mind that didn’t involve cell mitosis.

In all honesty, Sam didn’t really want to be here. He was aiming for a major in journalism or public speaking, not biology. And yet, this was part of the general curriculum at his college, so here he must be. He looked down at his notes… or rather, what should have been his notes. He and Jeremy shared the unfortunate habit of relying on memory rather than writing down their thoughts, so he was actually just staring at a blank sheet of paper.

Jeremy would have something funny to say about this lesson. Probably ‘mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell,’ or some other familiar meme. Sam smirked to himself at the thought of his bestie. Separated by schools they may have been, but they stayed in contact frequently enough to remind Sam of the crazy science that Jeremy performed on a daily basis. The last Sam had heard, Jeremy had been building yet another robot, and complaining that the ‘nitinol muscle wires’ were ‘being bitchy like usual’ by refusing to conduct electricity.

The lesson went on, and Sam eventually caved to his inner Millennial and pulled out his laptop, opening it and signing in. If nothing else, he could at least pretend to be typing notes. He loaded up Discord, checking for new messages, and was surprised to see that someone actually had left him a message. Hardly any of his friends actually used Discord, still preferring Skype or even email. Plus, he didn’t recognize the icon – something white and blue that might be a tree? He clicked on their chat, noting that the username was “PrincessofHarmony”. Alyssa or Nessa, maybe? Or Kylie, that was always a possibility.

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 11:02 A.M.
Hello, Sam.
You don’t know me, but I know you.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:47 P.M.
what??
nessa is this you

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:47 P.M.
My name is actually not terribly important.
And no, this is not a prank by one of your friends. You can check with them, if you like, though Alyssa is not online.
Rather, this could be considered First Contact.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:48 P.M.
…Because that’s not a scary thought at all.

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:48 P.M.
Yes, I know. For what it’s worth, I’m terribly sorry.
Both for the trouble I’m putting you through, and the trouble I’m about to put you through.
First, a little about me. I am a goddess, technically, and a fictional character, also technically.
I have never appeared in the fictional medium I inhabit, which you are quite familiar with.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:48 P.M.
…My Little Pony?

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:48 P.M.
Why, yes. Though, I suppose that was quite obvious.
Sorry, I’m a bit too used to speaking in riddles now. I was designing a game recently, which had quite a few puzzles.
I am not Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Twilight, or Flurry Heart, though I am an Alicorn nonetheless.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:49 P.M.
Wait, who’s the last one? I haven’t watched MLP in forever.

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:49 P.M.
Princess Flurry Heart is the daughter of Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor. Currently, she’s an adorable 2-year-old, though the show does not currently depict her past the age of a few months.
Back on topic, I am, however, distantly related to Celestia and Luna. Their far-removed ancestor, if you will.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:49 P.M.
So, let me get this straight. You’re Celestia’s and Luna’s who-knows-how-many-greats-ancestor, contacting me from MLP’s future, and you’re about to do something involving me?

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:50 P.M.
I’m afraid so. Do not worry, my world is not like those harmful worlds you may have read about. Neither the Elements nor the Princesses are psychotic murderers, rapists, et cetera. And yet, you will be quite challenged with them all the same.
Some of your friends will be joining you on this venture.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:50 P.M.
Is Jeremy coming? He’s always wanted to go to Equestria.

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:50 P.M.
…In a manner of speaking, yes. Though you will not see him for quite a while.

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:51 P.M.
…Okay…

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:51 P.M.
Do not fear, my young Orator. It will all make sense in time.
Are you ready?

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:51 P.M.
wait NOW???

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:51 P.M.
Yes, now. Before you have a chance to dread it.
Good luck!

Shaped like a Friend, Today at 12:51 P.M.
…
I’m still here…

PrincessofHarmony, Today at 12:51 P.M.
Whoops.
That’s not the right button…
Okay, now good luck!

And in an instant, Sam’s world went white.

He slowly sat up, groaning as he vaguely wondered when he’d lay down. He could hear muffled voices in another room, but couldn’t tell what they were saying. Things were shuffling around him in the darkness, and Sam immediately jolted awake. Where was he?

“Hello?” he whispered out.

The things abruptly stopped shuffling.

“Sam? Sam, that you?” a deeper voice questioned, sounding terrified.

“Brayden?” Sam breathed back, somewhat calmer now that one of his friends was here. Brayden might have been a gentle giant, but he was still a giant: Nothing short of an oncoming car could slow the dark-skinned football player down.

“Sam, what’s going on?” Brayden asked, a bit louder now.

“I… I don’t really know,” Sam reluctantly admitted. “There’s… something around us. Uh… can you search around a bit? Maybe there’s something we can use.”

Brayden began making shuffling sounds again, presumably searching around the dark space. “Okay, the floor’s stone tiling,” Brayden reported. “Apart from that… nothing.”

Sam began searching around as well, trying to quell the rising fear in his chest. “Okay… okay… uh…” Sam muttered, stopping abruptly as his hand brushed over something warm and smooth. He jumped back with a yelp, and Brayden stopped moving as well.

“You okay?” his friend inquired.

“T-there’s somebody here with us,” Sam whispered. He poked it once more, jerking his hand back. “I think… they’re asleep…” he revealed, already feeling weird about feeling up some stranger in the darkness.

“There’s some more over here,” Brayden added. “They’re… they’re human.”

Sam began quivering, thinking of all sorts of nightmare scenarios. What if something had gone wrong, and they landed in the wrong universe? What if the pony he’d spoken to actually had no idea that some serial killer had just ensnared them?

“Hello,” a voice spoke up, emanating from an unseen source.

They both froze in place, Brayden emitting a startled yelp.

“Please don’t be afraid,” the voice continued, and chills went down Sam’s spine – he knew that voice. “We don’t mean you any harm, and we will turn the lights on in a moment. We were just unsure of what we might be… dealing with.” Sam swallowed nervously.

A moment later, a chandelier flickered to life overhead, a soft whistling noise accompanying it as Sam’s retinas were seared by the sudden brightness.

“Ow!” he complained, instinctively looking away and rubbing his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry!” the ‘mysterious’ voice apologized.

Sam slowly adjusted his eyes to the new light source, and looked around.

In front of him was a small, windowless room. Four unconscious human bodies were strewn about, looking as though they’d crumpled to the floor suddenly from standing positions. And… he recognized them. Cory, his friend from band, was the one he had brushed, still out cold as he gently snored and shuffled around a bit. Further away were Avery and Nick, his friends from some of his classes, and finally Kylie, his friend from Anime Club who was rather humorously clothed in only his pajamas. Brayden was looking behind him, an expression of utter shock on his face as he stared and pointed. Sam turned around… and there she was.

Twilight Sparkle stood there, clipboard and quill held securely in her magic as she stared up at the pair of them. She stood just a little taller than Sam’s belly, perhaps three and a half feet tall including her horn. Her wings ruffled gently at her sides, and she gave them a sheepish smile as they continued to stare.

“I know my appearance may be somewhat… strange,” she began carefully. “But… I assure you that I mean you no harm.”

Brayden finally found the courage to speak. “B-but y-y-you’re –“ he began, and Sam hurriedly clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Yes, Brayden, she’s a magical talking pony,” he pretended to answer, hoping Brayden would get the hint. Brayden’s eyes widened, and he peeled Sam’s hand away from his mouth with little effort.

“I, uh… yeah… sorry, that’s a bit… uh…” Brayden trailed off, seemingly lost for words as he stared at Twilight.

“It’s okay. I was a bit… shocked… when I saw you too,” Twilight answered.

“So… have we been kidnapped for research or something?” Sam asked after a moment.

Twilight wrote down something on her clipboard. “I assume you mean ‘foalnapped,’ and… not entirely. I think Princess Celestia can explain further,” she alleged, stepping to the side.

Princess Celestia herself entered the room, and both humans’ jaws dropped as they beheld the Princess of the Sun. She was about as tall as Sam, not counting the horn, which easily added another foot to her already imposing figure. Her jewelry gleamed in the light, not a speck of dust daring to touch the golden peytral and crown. Her hair fluttered in a nonexistent breeze, looking not quite physical as it weaved and undulated through the air. Her body was just as dainty and thin as it was in the show, giving her an almost angelic air of beauty as she surveyed the pair of them with a hint of curiosity.

“Hello,” she greeted. Sam immediately dropped to a bow, Brayden following after a moment of hesitation. “Oh, none of that,” Celestia softly chided, a wing tipping Sam’s chin up. “We are not here for courtesies. Please, remain standing. Or, perhaps, you would like to sit down somewhere?” Celestia offered.

Sam considered what he knew so far. Twilight or possibly Celestia had summoned six of them here, for some nonviolent purpose that wasn’t quite research. Specifically, everyone that had been summoned had been friends of his, though it seemed not all of his best friends were present. At any rate, some of them didn’t know each other at all, so that was the trend his brain decided to roll with. A suspicion began to take root in his mind… but that couldn’t be true.

“...We’ll stay here, at least until my friends wake up,” he decided, feeling oddly in charge. Sam had always wanted to be the leader of a group, but now that it might actually be happening, he couldn’t quite decide what to feel about it.

Celestia smiled. “I am glad you address them as such. Do you know them?” she asked curiously, as Twilight made another note on her clipboard.

Sam nodded uncertainly. “Yeah, they’re friends of mine from… school, mostly,” he summarized, looking over at the other five.

“Oh! I just realized, I’ve completely forgotten my manners. I am Princess Celestia, Ruler of the Day and one of the four Princesses of Equestria,” Celestia introduced. “And you are?”

Sam swallowed nervously. “I’m… my name is Sam,” he returned. “And this is Brayden.”

Celestia nodded politely, and Twilight cleared her throat. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and another of the four Princesses of Equestria,” she introduced, holding out a hoof. Brayden cautiously shook it, visibly being careful not to cause her any discomfort as he gently gripped her hoof and shook it up and down once.

“A pleasure to meet you two,” Celestia concluded. “Now, if you don’t mind, I shall explain why the six of you have been called here. It will be quite a lengthy explanation, and I would like to give it in full before any questions are proposed. Is that alright with you?” she addressed Sam, who immediately nodded.

“Of course,” he nervously agreed.

Celestia took a deep breath. “Long ago, when the world was new, there was only one alicorn in existence. Beloved by all, she created life, giving her little ponies the gifts of knowledge, emotion, and intuition. She was known by many titles – the Creator of All, the First Alicorn, Harmony, and the Mother of Life.”

Sam and Brayden glanced at each other – was Celestia talking about Lauren Faust, by any chance? She was almost definitely talking about the alicorn who had contacted him, if Sam knew anything about tropes. It was also a common trope for Faust to be worshipped to some degree in Equestria, so that wasn’t out of the question. Sam decided to continue listening, noting that the mysterious alicorn had a name of ‘Harmony.’ It seemed so unlikely… but then again, this whole situation seemed unlikely.

“Despite, or perhaps because of Her best efforts, evil began to seep into her world. Villains who sought to end her expansion of knowledge, destroy the positive emotions she spread, and give intuition over to panic and distrust. But no matter how much they threatened her little ponies, the Mother of Life was firm in her stance. She never once harmed them, instead encasing them in the prison Tartarus to contain their evil until such time as they had learned the error of their ways.

“The original Tartarus was built as strongly as she could build it, which was far stronger than anything we could hope to replicate today,” Celestia continued, a forlorn note in her voice. “For many thousands of years, its ranks swelled with new prisoners, each as forbidden from escape as the next. But, eventually, the concentrated evil within that prison became too much for her safeguards to withstand, and they shattered.

“The Creator went out alone to meet them, to reign in the villains and prevent them from overtaking her land in a swarm of destruction. But she was not powerful enough, and was defeated after a protracted stalemate,” Celestia went on, hiccupping ever so slightly. “She had given up Hope.”

There was a moment of silence, as Celestia composed herself, quickly regaining her regal demeanor.

“But, just as all seemed lost, seven ponies came forth to aid her. They were nothing more than ordinary ponies – a scientist, a poet, a knight, an orator, a writer, a curator, and an artist. Shielding the First Alicorn from the oncoming attack, they gave their lives to protect her, thoughtlessly throwing themselves in front of the blast to save both her and the world.

“They loved the world so much that they were willing to give themselves for it, and this gave the Creator new Hope. From within herself, she took the most powerful forces she could draw upon – those that had drawn the seven together. Kindness, Laughter, Loyalty, Generosity, Honesty, Magic… and Love.

“The combined forces of these seven Elements were enough to withstand the assault, and even to overpower it, creating a magical barrier that surrounded Tartarus. The resulting immense power of the Elements, combined with the magic of the seven souls powering them was enough to transform the landscape, turning it from a harsh wintry place to a continent lush with life and warmth. This was the birth of Equestria.”

“The Elements were sealed away, to prevent them from being used until they were necessary, and the Creator departed, telling her little ponies that they had proven able to protect themselves when the time came.”

Celestia looked up, gazing at each of their faces in turn. “Although the ponies of Equestria faced many challenges and hardships, they began to work together and overcome them. And that brings us... to you.” She began to pace around the room.

“Our Elements were sacrificed a short while ago, in order to power a far more powerful artifact. As such, we can no longer use them. Thus, we received a message from our Creator a short while ago, detailing instructions to summon a replacement set of Elements. In addition, she warned that they would be tested greatly by the challenges ahead of them. Once they had completed their task, and purified this world of its greatest evil, they would be allowed to return and spread the magic of friendship to their own planet,” Celestia recited. “Do you understand what I am asking of you?”

Brayden seemed uncertain, but Sam nodded firmly.

“Yes,” he agreed, surprising both Celestia and Twilight. “I do.”

Celestia remained silent for a moment. “…Very well,” she replied. “In that case, I shall leave you to tend to your friends. Twilight, may I entrust you with their safety and comfort for the time being?” Celestia asked.

Twilight instantly nodded. “Of course, Princess! You can count on me,” Twilight affirmed.

Cory was the first to wake, his heavyset frame quivering slightly as the blonde-haired, sharply-dressed band player got to his feet and looked around.

“Sam? What the…” he trailed off as he spotted Twilight. “Oh my god what is that thing?” Cory shouted, backing away and pointing at Twilight.

“Hey!” Twilight objected indignantly.

“That thing is Twilight Sparkle. She’s friendly,” Sam stressed.

Cory looked at Twilight incredulously, taking in the purple coat, wings, and horn. “What… are you?” Cory asked.

“I am an alicorn, which is a fusion of a pegasus, unicorn and earth pony,” Twilight proudly explained, fluffing her wings out.

“O… kay…” Cory muttered, rubbing his eyes. He took a seat in the corner, muttering to himself, while Sam set about rousing the rest of his friends.

“Hey. Avery, get up,” he muttered, pushing Avery slightly.

Avery groaned, and rolled to face away from him. “No… go’way,” the smaller, dark-skinned New Yorker moaned irritably.

“Avery there are magical talking ponies and we have to save the world, get up,” Sam insisted.

Avery chuckled slightly. “Okay… I’m up…” he grumbled, blearily opening his hazel-colored eyes before looking around. His eyes alighted on Twilight, who stared back, and he instantly jolted to a sitting position, twisting his red EarthBound shirt to get a better look at her. “Wait, you were serious?!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled.

“God… dammit…” Avery muttered under his breath, and Sam glared harshly at him.

“Hey! No language!” he hissed, aware that Twilight was still looking at the pair of them, scribbling a note on her clipboard.

Sam moved on to Nick, the smallest of the group. “Nick, wake up,” he muttered, shoving Nick slightly just as he had the other two.

To his surprise, Nick woke instantly, sitting up and looking around. “Hey, Sam… uh, where are we?” he politely inquired. He spotted Twilight Sparkle, and Sam tensed, waiting for the inevitable exclamation. “Oh,” Nick answered himself, just as politely. “I guess that explains it, then.”

Sam, taken by surprise, managed to recover himself in time to nod and explain before Nick accidentally revealed what little he knew of the show. “Yep. That’s Twilight Sparkle, a magical talking pony, and we’ve been summoned here as replacement “Elements of Harmony,” whatever those are, to fight some stuff,” Sam explained.

Nick stared at his air-quoting fingers oddly, raising an eyebrow at him.

Sam glared at him, shifting so that Twilight couldn’t see and giving him an expression that clearly meant Play along, or else.

Nick shrugged, and sat up. “Okay, neat,” he agreed.

“You seem less shocked than usual for being in an alien world,” Twilight noted.

Nick chuckled. “I was going to take an exam I didn’t study for, so I’m pretty pleased about being in an alien world instead. Unless I’m hallucinating, which I guess is still a valid excuse for not taking the test,” he explained.

Twilight pursed her lips, but said nothing.

The last to wake was Kylie, who simply sat and stared as Sam once again explained what was going on.

“So we have to fight stuff?” he wondered, as soon as Sam finished, and Sam shrugged.

“I guess? Not really sure. There was something about ‘purifying this world of evil,’ or something,” Sam explained.

Kylie grimaced. “Are we talking like… OFF purification? With the Batter and stuff?”

Sam snorted. “Probably not… though, to be on the safe side, we probably shouldn’t go about ‘purifying’ everything within reach.”

They took their seats in a circle, Twilight orbiting around and still taking notes as they spoke. “Um. Twilight, could you… leave the room, please? We’d like to have a private discussion,” Sam hesitantly asked.

“Oh! Of course, I’ll leave you to it,” Twilight agreed, excusing herself and softly closing the door.

Immediately, Sam motioned for the rest of them to come closer. “Nobody say a word about the show,” he hissed under his breath. “We cannot afford for Twilight to find out.”

Brayden sighed. “Yeah…” the gentle giant reluctantly agreed.

“Do we have to be so serious about it?” Nick wondered.

Sam glared at him, and Nick immediately backed down.

“Okay, okay. Jeez, I’ve never seen you so on edge, Sam,” Nick worried.

Sam sighed. “Sorry… I’m a bit stressed after talking to Princess Celestia. I thought I was going to have a heart attack,” he muttered.

Immediately, the other five adopted sympathetic expressions, Kylie actually going so far as to begin petting Sam on his curly hair, a custom common to anyone that had known Sam for longer than five minutes.

“Hey, don’t worry, it’ll be fine. We’re going to be heroes!” Avery cheered, causing the others to smile at his antics.

“Heh… thanks. So… does anyone need anything? Bathroom, food, stuff like that?” Sam asked. Kylie looked anxiously at the floor, and Sam shifted his gaze to him. “Kylie? You look like you need something,” Sam encouraged.

“Well… I was supposed to get a testosterone shot today… but it can wait,” Kylie sighed.

Sam immediately looked apologetic. “Well… maybe we can talk to Cadance?” he whispered. “She can probably do stuff like that better than doctors ever could.”

Kylie hesitantly nodded, looking apprehensive.

Sam gently opened the door, to find that Twilight was waiting outside, sitting as she reviewed her notes. As soon as he poked his head out, she glanced over at him.

“Oh! Done already? Celestia asked me to escort your group to the throne room when you were finished,” Twilight informed him.

“Oh, okay. Um… what are we going to be doing?” Sam asked, as the others peeked out from behind him curiously.

Twilight grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. “Well, you’ll be… training with me, I suppose! Learning the values of friendship, and all that,” she hypothesized.

Sam shrugged. “Alright… seems easy enough.” He began following Twilight down the corridor, the other five trailing behind as Sam tried to think of interesting things to say.

“So… uh… how exactly do we get to use ‘Elements of Harmony,’ anyway? Do we have to get items to use them, or something?” he questioned.

Twilight considered this. “Well… we did. I was the previous Element of Magic,” Twilight explained, deep in thought. “The Elements of Harmony, for us at least, were a set of golden jewelry that we put on. For Princesses Celestia and Luna, they were a set of six cut jewels. Who knows what form your Elements might take?”

Sam considered this – what would human Elements of Harmony look like? He wished he’d watched the show more – he’d only watched until the end of Season 2. Jeremy would know much more on the subject. He really wished Jeremy was here right now – as cool as his other friends were, they just weren’t on the same level as his sciency best friend.

When they arrived at the throne room, Celestia was lecturing a plateau of Royal Guards of both types, most of them looking ashamed.

“Do you not realize the importance of your posts?!” she furiously inquired.

“We’re sorry, Your Majesty, but we are simply unable to return to them! We were teleported outside!” a Guard spoke up.

The look Celestia gave him could have melted stone. “Then figure it out and get back in there, soldiers! Equestria is counting on it!” she demanded.

“Yes, ma’am!” the whole contingent replied, saluting in terror before promptly scrambling out of the throne room.

Celestia glanced over at them, and did a double take as she recognized Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the humans.

“Princess Celestia… is everything alright?” Twilight asked hesitantly.

Celestia immediately adopted her usual regal demeanor, though a hint of strain laced her voice. “Everything is alright, Princess Twilight. There has been a minor disruption at… one of the posts of the Royal Guard, nothing more,” she soothed.

“Okay…” Twilight trailed off.

Celestia cleared her throat. “In the meantime, why don’t we all retire to the dining hall? You humans must be hungry,” she offered. The six humans looked at each other.

“It was about high noon where I was… anyone haven’t had lunch yet?” Sam asked.

“It’s high noon,” Nick instantly added, and they snickered.

“…Nobody? We all ate? Well, then, I guess we’re okay for now,” Sam decided, returning his gaze to Celestia.

“Very well,” Celestia answered. “In that case… allow me to see to your accommodations. Follow me, if you please. Twilight, would you mind answering any petitioners that might stop by while I am gone?” she asked, glancing over at the purple alicorn.

“Of course, Celestia!” Twilight agreed.

Celestia smiled and nodded at her, and exited the large double doors in front of the throne, leading them to where they would be staying.

They followed her through corridors and across bridges, up winding, gilded towers and through gardens. Throughout it all, Sam got the distinct sense that Celestia wasn’t so much taking a straight path to their lodgings as showing them the sights. Gilded, Arabian towers glinted all around them, purple and yellow flags flying from their tops. The foliage of the gardens was as lush and green as though it were straight out of a Photoshopped travel brochure, and the towers and staircases they went through were composed of only the finest marble, padded with velvety red carpet, and lined with gilded and very expensive-looking portraits that Cory couldn’t help but stare at every time they passed one. Sam felt oddly like a tourist, and more oddly still like a tourist in the Taj Mahal or Buckingham Palace. Everything here, everything was so… upscale. Extravagant. Rich. He half expected the streets to be paved with gold and the lamps to be lit with diamonds. All things considered, that wouldn’t have been terribly out of place here. If this was Canterlot, then what was Ponyville like?

Celestia and her entourage finally arrived at a series of towers, to which the Princess of the Sun gestured. “You may find these lodgings more appropriate than most of our rooms, as they were designed with minotaurs in mind. Minotaurs are a species quite similar to your own, though with… noticeable differences in the head and lower legs.”

Avery snorted. “We have minotaurs in our world, too… well, actually, we have minotaurs in fiction. The head of a bull, and the body of a human, right?” he clarified.

Celestia shook her head. “Not quite. They have the legs of a bull as well, and minotaurs are generally much more… muscular than you humans seem to be.” Avery digested this information with a frown, saying nothing more. “Anyway, what are the standard times at which your kind feeds?” Celestia asked.

Sam looked at the others. “Well, generally, we have three meals a day. Breakfast, which is soon after we awake, and usually around… ten in the morning, lunch, which is closer to noon, and dinner, which is usually around five or six in the evening,” Sam listed.

“Hey, don’t forget dessert!” Cory called, placing his hands on his hips.

Sam rolled his eyes. “And, at night, we eat dessert,” he finished.

Celestia politely smiled. “Those are quite close to our own mealtimes, and… share similar names. How curious. Very well, then, you may expect meals prepared for you in the Dining Hall at that time. The Dining Hall may be found through the door directly to the right of my throne room, and if you get lost, you may ask any Guard for directions. You may spend today settling in, and tomorrow we will begin your training. Do any of you have any questions?” Celestia asked. They shook their heads, and she smiled. “Very well. I must attend to a… small problem, and therefore I shall depart for now. Rest well, and may the stars watch over you!” she finished, quickly flying off.

As she disappeared into the distance, Sam watched her go. To his surprise, she landed just a short distance away, and pushed through a set of doors that he recognized as the ones to the throne room. They were just a few yards away, and there was a clear path from there to here… so why did she take them in that huge circle? And why had she left in such a hurry? Sam suspected it was something to do with all the Guards she had been yelling at earlier. With no further insights on the situation, he returned to examining his new bedroom.

Like everything else in Canterlot, it was lavish. A massive four-poster bed occupied the center of the room, perfectly made and free of dust. The carpet was a dark purple-blue, and the walls a lighter shade of the same. The small rug in front of his bed had an image of Luna’s Cutie Mark on it, and a portrait of Princess Luna in a regal pose adorned the wall. As Sam examined this poster, the events of the past hour finally caught up to him. He was in Equestria. Equestria. He’d just talked to Princess Celestia, and he was now in Canterlot.

Sam promptly staggered over to the four-poster bed and fainted.

What felt like hours later, he woke up to find the other five surrounding him, looks of concern on their faces.

“Here, drink this,” Kylie offered, handing him a glass of water.

Sam sloppily drank, spilling some onto his shirt as he groaned and sat up. “What happened?” he asked blearily, rubbing his eyes and wondering where he was.

“We think the stress finally got to you, we just found you sprawled on the bed and out cold,” Brayden explained.

“Stress…” Sam trailed off, looking around. The events he had just experienced came rushing back to him, and he flopped back onto the bed, still conscious but mentally exhausted. “We’re in Equestria. Like… come on, what the hell,” he mumbled, mostly to himself.

“Yeah, about that. Can someone explain to me where ‘Equestria’ is and why you guys know about it and I don’t? Like, was there a briefing or something?” Cory asked.

Sam looked around shiftily, and Brayden checked the doors and windows.

“All clear… at least, as far as I know,” he announced.

“Okay. So. Basically, we’re in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” he began, and Cory slapped a hand to his face, groaning.

“Oh, shut up, Cory, you of all people should know about not judging art by medium,” Nick shot back.

“Yeah, true, but… come on. My Little Pony? Really?” Cory sighed, exasperated.

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Don’t worry, it’s alright as far as kids’ shows go. Characters have fairly developed personalities-“

Nick snorted. “That’s debatable,” he muttered.

Sam shot him a look.

“…Anyway, point is, we’re going to fight stuff and save the world or whatever. We might also get magic in the deal,” Sam mentioned.

Cory narrowed his eyes in thought. “…So, magic in exchange for being in a little kids’ morality show… Alright, fair trade. What happens now?” he asked.

“Mostly just settling in, I guess. Anyone have anything to move in?” Sam asked. There was a chorus of denials, and Sam sighed. “…Yeah, me neither. Got teleported here without much warning.” Though, technically, I suppose three or four minutes of conversation with a goddess could count as a ‘warning,’ he mused. “Speaking of which… did any of you have any idea what was going on before you got here?” They shook their heads. Sam hummed uncertainly. “I… got a few messages from a stranger. The usual cryptic stuff. I think it might have been that ‘First Alicorn’ Celestia was talking about,” he revealed.

“Isn’t she dead, though?” Avery remembered.

“No, those other ponies died for her,” Cory contradicted.

"How come we haven't seen her in the show, then?" Nick wondered.

"I think she's avoiding being seen - she knows about the show," Sam answered.

Without their cellphones, laptops or gaming consoles, the six humans busied themselves in the only other way teenagers knew how: Sleeping. The sun remained at its zenith in the sky, and only when it reached precisely eight in the evening did it suddenly begin moving, only Sam being awake to notice as it sped down from the sky and dipped below the horizon. The moon quickly rose to take its place, a thin crescent shape and much larger (and therefore, presumably closer) than Earth’s Moon was. “That’s trippy,” Sam muttered, and promptly went back to sleep.