Winning is Subjective Anyways
Spike slurped down the last of his shake, as did the three fillies sitting across from him.
“Alright, that just about does it!” Apple Bloom said, closing her notebook. “Right, girls?’
“I’d say so,” Sweetie beamed. “We’re gonna ace this report on dragon culture!”
“You bet we are,” Scootaloo chimed in. “I can’t believe we’re the only ones who thought to interview the only actual dragon in town.”
Spike crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah, you girls were smart to come to me. I know a thing or two about the raging terror that is the dragon kingdom.”
“Yeah, but just so we’re on a level, Spike,” Scootaloo interjected. “If we don’t get an A on the test, we expect our bits back for the shake.”
“Sorry, I have a no refund policy on gifts,” Spike said with a chuckle. “Anywho, I’m hoping the best for you guys.”
“Thanks, Spike,” Apple Bloom said. “We’re gonna need it. Cheerilee has been really tough on all of us lately.”
“Hey, Spike?” Sweetie Belle spoke up, her hooves placed over the table’s edge. “I have a somewhat random question.”
“Shoot,” the dragon said, snapping, then pointing a claw at her.
“Why don’t you have a marefriend?”
Spike’s finger lowered, and his eyes popped open. “Huh?”
“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said it was random, Sweetie Belle.” Scootaloo scratched her head.
“Well,” Sweetie continued, “he’s really nice. Nice enough to help us with our school project. But, for as long as I’ve known him, he’s been single. I just wanted to ask.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m still here, guys. If you must know, it’s bec—”
“I bet I know why!” Apple Bloom interrupted. “It’s obviously because he’s a dragon. A lot of mares in town probably are afraid to date him. Maybe they think it’s too weird?”
“That could be it.” Scootaloo tapped her chin with a spoon. “Or maybe it’s because he’s not social enough with the other mares. When was the last time we actually saw him leave the castle?”
“Hey, I’m really busy there,” Spike said with a frown.
“Being Twilight’s maid?” Scootaloo shot him a smirk.
“Hey! I’m not Twilight’s maid!”
“Do you wear a skirt and an apron, and do all her cooking and cleaning?”
Spike opened his mouth, then closed it, growling.
“Or,” Sweetie Belle said, “maybe it’s because he’s too short. Most mares around town seem to like tall stallions.”
“Tall, social stallions,” Scootaloo added.
“Tall, social stallions that are actually stallions,” Apple Bloom said.
Spike slammed his claws down on the table. “Hey! I could get a date with any mare in town if I wanted. I’m just, you know, busy. I have a lot of royal duties that occupy my time. Flirting with the locals is a bit far down my priority list at the moment.”
“Oh really?” Scootaloo asked, exchanging sly glances with the other two fillies. “Any mare in town?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Spike replied, his chest swelling with pride. “If I put even a little effort, I’d be the prize of any mare in Ponyville.”
The three crusaders looked to one another, smug grins etching across their faces.
“You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’, girls?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I’m thinkin’ this sounds like a bet,” Scootaloo replied.
Spike gulped. “A bet?”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said. “If you’re so confident, why don’t you prove it? I’m honestly curious.”
He was in too deep to back out now. Spike took a deep breath and gave his best cocky smile. “Okay, sure. Let’s do it. What are the rules?”
The three fillies each thought for a moment before Scootaloo broke the silence. “The next single mare that walks in, no matter who she is, you have to ask her out and get a date.”
“Yeah, and it has to be a real date, too,” Apple Bloom added. “You can’t just invite her over with you and Twilight. Restaurant, flowers, the whole shebang.”
“Okay,” Spike said, “that doesn’t seem too hard.”
“Ah-ah, one more thing,” Sweetie Belle said, wagging a hoof. “You have to get a kiss by the end of the date or midnight the night of the date. And you can’t just force a kiss on her. She has to kiss you back. That way it has some romantic flare.” She finished with a wink.
Spike slouched back into his seat.
It just got a lot harder.
Then, a light bulb went off in Spike’s head. His eyes darted to the far side of Sugarcube Corner to a clock hanging on the wall. He squinted. Eleven.
“Starlight comes by every morning at eleven to get coffee, whew,” Spike thought, wiping sweat from his forehead. And just like clockwork, his ears perked as he heard familiar laughter from outside the shop. “Oh thank, Celestia.”
“Wait—” Spike’s eyes snapped to Sweetie, whose hoof was outstretched across the table, “ —Shake on it?”
Spike hesitated for a moment. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught Starlight in the door window outside of Sugarcube corner. Quickly, he leaned over the table and shook her hoof, the other two crusaders putting their hooves on top. “Deal.” He shot a confident smirk and laid back into his seat, eyes closed, and legs kicked up onto the table.
A bell’s chime echoed throughout the store, and a brush of wind tickled Spike. Eyes still closed, he then said with confidence, “So, who’s the lucky lady—”
“Minuette!” The crusaders cheered.
“Looks like this will be easier than I tho—What!” His eyes shot open, and he jerked back in surprise, his chair slowly tilting backward. “Woah-oh-oh.” He crashed into the ground with a thud. Comical stars floated around his head and he grabbed at his face with both claws. He shook his head, and leaned forward, then propped himself up on his elbows just high enough so he could get a glimpse at the door. “Oh no…”
In the entrance stood a light blue mare with glistening sapphire eyes, and a sparkling smile, beaming as bright as the sun.
“Bu—Wha—How?!” he exclaimed.
He blinked his eyes a few times, and his answer trotted in the door, standing behind Minuette.
“Thanks for holding the door open for me, Starlight.” Minuette nodded.
“Of course,” Starlight said. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a familiar drake, staring at her from the floor. “Spike?” She cocked a brow, and trotted over. “What are you doing on the floor? I know it’s Sugarcube Corner, but I thought Twilight had a talk with you about eating things off the floor.”
He groaned, two talons pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s a... long story—”
“He has to ask Minuette out on a—” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom covered Sweetie’s mouth, turning her speech into muffled blubbering.
Spike sighed, hanging his head in defeat.
Starlight glanced back and forth between the crusaders before her gaze settled on a seemingly defeated Spike. “A…?”
“A date…” Spike answered, trailing off.
Starlight arched a brow. “Um… Come again?”
“I said, a date; I have to ask Minuette on a date.”
Starlight snorted, then started chuckling. She tried her best to conceal her laughter with a hoof, but Spike had already taken notice.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing. It’s just—” Starlight looked into his eyes, trying to keep a straight face.
She couldn’t.
Her voice broke, and she roared in a fit of laughter. She clutched her chest and started wheezing, falling back on her haunches so she could hold herself while she suppressed her chortling. After finally regaining her composure, she gasped for air, then spoke. “You… You’re going to ask… her… to…” Starlight tumbled onto her back, grabbing her chest and kicking her hind legs into the air.
“It’s not that funny!” Spike shouted. “I totally could, and she’d say yes too, just you wait—”
“Hey y’all!” A new voice entered the conversation, and Spike froze stiff. Minuette skipped over to them, taking a bite out of her doughnut. She regarded Starlight, who was deep in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, and quirked a brow. She was unsure whether or not she was in need of medical assistance… or mental with the way she was laughing. Or, both.
Moments later, Starlight had nearly recovered, wiping tears from her eyes as she teetered her way back onto all fours. She turned around, met a confused Minuette, and in the blink of an eye, was laughing again.
“I’m so sorry… it’s not… I just… he said…” Starlight accentuated with a pointed hoof at Spike. “That he was… and you were…” She choked over her words, breaking back into a wheeze. “Oh Celestia, I’m going to step outside for a second.” Wiping her eyes again, she made her way towards the door.
Once she was gone, Minuette’s befuddled eyes moved to Spike. A burning sensation inflamed his cheeks, and he scratched the back of his neck. “Heh, I have no idea what that was about—”
“Yes he does. He’s lyin’,” Apple Bloom said, dry as an arid desert.
Spike groaned, narrowed his eyes at Apple Bloom, and was about to say something before he was cut off.
“I hate to interrupt…” Minuette bit her lip. ”Um, But... I’m pretty sure I heard my name earlier, and I’m kind of, sort of, really lost right now,” she said, followed by a few blinks. “Also, does Starlight have seizures often, I’m not sure if that was a seizure or laughter, it’s depressing how similar the two are sometimes.”
“That was her laughing, she only has those when met with utter stupidity that only I seem to be able to provide,” Spike uttered with a sigh. “Anyway, Minuette, I did in fact have a question to ask you.”
“Oh?” she asked, leaning forward on her hooves, “what is it? Wait! It’s why am I here isn’t it? ‘Shouldn’t you be in Canterlot,’ and normally that answer is yes, but Twilight invited me down! Something about Starlight needing more friends.” She leaned in and whispered into Spike’s ear, “Though if you ask me, I think she needs an inhaler more.”
“Oh, you have no idea how much she needs more friends,” Spike said with a chuckle. “But, besides that, there was something I needed to ask. Something of, uh, great importance.”
Minuette tilted her head to the side. “Oh, what is it?”
Spike took a deep breath. It was crunch time. Everyone was waiting. Now or never.
“Would you like to, maybe, I don’t know... go out to dinner with me this week, sometime? Maybe? Possibly? Perhaps?”
Minuette held a stoic expression for a moment, mulling over the thought. Right as Spike was about to lose hope, she suddenly answered with, “Well… I’d love to!”
Spike had to process what he had just heard for a moment. “Wait, did you just say ‘yes’?”
“Of course!” she answered. “But it has to be tomorrow though. I can’t do it tonight. I have plans with Lyra, and Twilight wants me to spend time with Starlight and her friend Trixie. Then after tomorrow, I have to head back to Canterlot for work.”
Spike could feel his heart fluttering. He was prepared for utter disappointment but was met with something good! “Oh, that’ll be fine! Um, what time should I pick you up? And where are you staying at so I know where to get you?”
Minuette giggled. “I’m staying with you, buddy, oh friend, oh pal!” she cheered. “Twilight offered me a guest room. Gotta say, It’s quite the roomy castle for only three ponies.”
“I see,” Spike said, making a mental note to remind Twilight to tell him of these things in advance. “Well, then I guess I’ll just knock on your door when we’re ready to go!”
“Sounds good!” she said, “I’ve got to run, plans with Lyra—we’re going shopping! I should probably make sure Starlight isn’t having an aneurysm,” she said, tapping her chin. “Anyway, I’ll see ya later, Spike, and…” She stared at the fillies quizzically. “Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo?”
The fillies exchanged glances. “How did you…” Apple Bloom started.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Call it wizardry, I guess.” She let the thought sink in for a moment, then giggled. “Kidding! I know your sisters! Don’t worry.” She galloped out the door, waving a hoof as she exited. “Bye! See you later, Spike!” Right before the door closed, she managed to squeak out, “Oh, and nice meeting you three too!”
“Wow, it actually worked,” Spike said, astonished. “I have a date!”
“I can hardly believe it, either,” Sweetie chimed in.
“Is it just me,” Apple Bloom cut in, “or does she seem a little… strange?”
“No, she’s strange,” Scootaloo said. “But, what’s important is that Spike gets a kiss from her by midnight tomorrow, right girls?”
“Right!” they both chimed in.
“But, hold on a sec here,” Apple Bloom said. “Spike didn’t exactly make it clear it was a romantic date.”
“Pssh.” Spike waved a claw. “Oh, trust me, she’ll know.”
“She called you ‘buddy, o-friend, o-pal, o-chum, o-friend zone.” Scootaloo smirked.
“Oh, please.” He looked at her, crossed his arms, and rolled his eyes. “It’s a date. And by the end of it, I’ll get that kiss. Hey, with this stud there’ll be a full on makeout session... if you catch my drift?” He winked.
The crusaders audibly gagged.
“Sure she will,” Scootaloo said. “And we’ll be watching. So no funny business.”
“Or making stuff up!” Apple Bloom continued.
“Because we’ll be watching… always watching,” Sweetie Belle said.
And with that, the three crusaders slinked out of the shop, leaving Spike to himself.
Once they were out of earshot, he jumped into the air. “I actually have a date!”
Spike eyed himself up and down in the mirror. He had picked out his best suit for the night’s proceedings and added his favorite bowtie for a little extra pizzazz.
“Hmm, let’s see,” he said to himself. “Scales polished? Check. Fangs brushed and shined? Check. Two spritz of Inconceivable pour Homme? Check!" He grinned, then winked at himself. "You’re lookin’ good, Spike. You really are.”
“Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Talking to yourself, again?”
Spike snapped his head around and was greeted with the unfortunate visage of Starlight standing in the doorway.
“Starlight? Why are you spying on me?”
She let out a giggle. “It’s not so much that I’m spying on you as it is I had to check what the obnoxious voice coming from the bathroom was all about. You having fun?”
“Pfft, fun has nothing to do with it, “ Spike responded, straightening his bowtie in the mirror. “I’m on a mission. One of great importance.”
“Just for the sake of sparing the monologue I’m sure you’re about to go on, I assume you’re talking about your date with Minuette, tonight?” Starlight asked with a smirk.
“That is precisely what I’m talking about,” he responded, giving his scales a final touch up. “And everything has to be perfect.”
“Well, I can tell you this much, Minuette is a bit of a firecracker,” she said. “I went out to breakfast with her and Twilight this morning and I swear, her mouth doesn’t have an off button when she gets going.”
“Breakfast?” Spike asked, turning to her in confusion. “And why was I not invited to this event?”
“Probably because you slept in until after noon,” Starlight said. “Believe me, I tried to get you up, but when I tried to shake you, you tried to bite me and pulled your covers over your head. It wasn’t worth the effort.”
Spike frowned. “Be that as it may, it would’ve been helpful in learning a bit about her beforehand. Without going into detail, trust me, this date needs to go perfect.”
“Oh?” Starlight cocked her head to the side.
“Yeah…” Spike said, teetering on his legs as he scratched the back of his neck. “I didn’t tell you yesterday, did I?”
“That you were going to humiliate yourself on a date, yes, I think we went over that bit.” Again, she smirked.
Spike sighed, “No, not that. It’s just.” He paused for a deep breath. “It’s a bet.” Starlight grimaced. “Wait, wait, wait,” he said shaking his claws, “it’s not that bad. It’s a bet, don’t get me wrong, but I do want to go on this date. It’s not just a shallow move. I…” He gulped. “I actually used to have a super huge crush on Minuette when we were back in Canterlot.”
“Wow. You had puppy eyes for chatterbox?”
“Starlight!”
“Sorry, sorry.” She threw a foreleg up in surrender. “Minuette is a very attractive mare, but given you’ve always had the hots for Rarity… and they’re not exactly… How do I put this? One’s Rarity and one’s Minuette; they’re not exactly on the same wavelength. I’m just trying to put this together.”
“That’s fair,” he said with a sigh, “I just really want this date to go right.”
“Well, look, in all seriousness then, I have some advice for you.”
“What’s that?” Spike replied. “I’ll take anything.”
Starlight grabbed him with her magic and brought him right within eye-level of herself. “You cannot, under any circumstances, tell her it’s a bet. She can’t know! A mare’s heart is a fragile thing, and in the impossible event she actually develops some kind of feelings for you tonight, it will crush her if she knows this was prompted by a bet. Regardless of your feelings for her, it would ruin everything! Do you understand me?”
Spike nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Don’t tell her anything.”
“Exactly.” Starlight released her magical grip on him, and he flopped onto the floor. “As far as you’re concerned tonight, this is an average date, no strings attached. That’s the only way this will be successful.”
“Okay. Thanks, Starlight,” Spike said, dusting himself off as he got back to his feet. “I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings. But, on the other side of things, I really wanna win this bet, too. My pride is at stake and I don’t think I could deal with listening to the crusaders rubbing it in my face for the next century.”
“Well, Spike, if you follow my advice, everything will go great.” Patting his head, Starlight gave him a sly wink. “Trust me, I’m a mare myself, so I know these things.”
“You are?” Spike asked with a chuckle. “I had no idea, what with all those masculine features and su—”
Spike was quickly shut up and laying back on the floor after Starlight saw fit to hit him in the back of the head.
“Good luck on your date, loser,” she said, leaving him there.
“Yeah… thanks a bunch.” Spike rubbed his now sore head scales and rose to his feet. He gave himself one last once over. “But, when you look this good, who needs luck?”
Spike took a few deep breaths as he walked down the seemingly never ending corridor to the guest room where Minuette was staying at. He had Starlight mention to her to try and be ready around five, so hopefully she’d be ready to go when he got there.
He once again ran through his mental checklist: casual suit, bowtie, cologne, breath spray in pocket for the end of the night… For all intents and purposes he was ready to go.
After a few more seconds of cycling through the endless slideshow of self-doubt and confidence in his brain, he finally wound up at her door. It was time.
Spike laid out a few gentle knocks and took a step back. One more deep breath and he’d be ready to face down the night that awaited him.
He heard a shuffling from inside the room, and then the door swung open, revealing Minuette, who donned a bright smile.
“Hey there, Spike!” she said, a white towel draped around her neck. “Ready to go already? Or, just checking in?”
Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, I was just coming by to make sure everything was still on for tonight and such. It’s just about five, so you know, just checking in.”
“Of course! Though you never did say what you planned to do. So I figured it was a surprise or something. Cute suit by the way! I didn’t know they made them that small.”
Spike smiled and looked down at himself. “Yeah, I had it specially tailored by Rarity. It helps having a fashion forward friend. Not to mention, I wanted to look nice for our dinner tonight. I hope it doesn’t conflict with what you were planning on wearing, of course.”
Minuette stared, dazed. “Oh. You wanted me to… “ She blinked. Then, chuckled. “Of course! I guess the place you have us going to is really nice then,” she said, nudging him with an elbow. “I’m sure I can find something to throw on. Give me a moment, would you?” She smiled, closing the door behind her as she disappeared back into the room.
Spike smiled and backed away from the door, beginning to slip into thoughts of how good things were going, but his concentration was broken by a strange voice coming from around the corner.
‘Pssst.”
“Huh?” Spike said, looking around.
“Pssst! Spike, over here!”
Spike wandered over to the corner where the voice was coming from and found, to his surprise, Scootaloo crouched down, looking up at him.
Spike looked to Minuette’s door, then back to Scootaloo before hissing in a hushed tone, “What do you want, Scootaloo? How did you even get in here?”
“Remember, Spike,” she said. “We’re always watching.”
“Where are the other two crusaders?” he asked.
“Oh, you’ll see them soon enough.” She fired a devilish smirk. “This is just a friendly reminder… always watching.” She then proceeded to slink down the hall, disappearing into the shadows. “Always.”
“Wait. How did you even get here—ah, forget it,” he said, waddling back over to the door.
He sat there, twiddling his talons together for another minute or two. Growing impatient, he knocked on the door. “Everything okay, in there?” he asked, placing his head against the door.
A couple seconds, and Minuette called from the other side. “Just one more second!”
Spike smiled and leaned up against the wall opposite to the door. He had heard from reliable sources and experienced first-hoof the fact mares were always late when they had to dress up, so at least he was somewhat prepared.
After just a few moments longer the door squeaked open and Minuette crept out.
Spike’s jaw hit the floor.
Minuette smiled softly, and her horn glowed a brilliant yellow as she adjusted a pink flower in her hair. She bowed, and her silver, teardrop earrings jingled lightly, sparkling, like her teeth, her eyes, her personality, her everything! She peered over her shoulder to check her dress. It was a deep blue gown aligned with gems of red, orange and green. The fabric clung to her back, accentuating her every curve. She turned back around, her eyes falling on the awe-struck dragon. “What do you think?
Spike had to use his claws to put his gaping mouth back in place. “I-I-I,” he stammered. “Uh, yeah, that’ll do.” His eyes traced her frame over and over again, muzzle to flank and back again. “Y-you look beautiful! Where’d you get that gorgeous dress?”
Minuette’s face flashed a bit of red. “Oh, this thing? Yeah, it’s new. It was a gift from Rarity for my visit yesterday with Lyra. I take it you like it?”
“I love it!” he exclaimed. Then immediately shrunk, not wanting to seem over-zealous. He cleared his throat. “I mean, uh, it looks great. And you. Well, you always look great, but I mean now you look extra great. Like great, great. But normally you look like, just like, just especially—”
She cut him off with a giggle. “I'm glad you like it,” she said. “So what are the plans for tonight?”
“Huh? Oh! Yeah, tonight.” Spike cleared his throat. “Well, m’lady, you’ll just have to wait and see, or else it wouldn’t be a proper date. But, suffice it to say, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
“Well, I guess I don’t have much choice in the matter, do I?” she asked with a grin. “I’m ready to go whenever you are!”
Spike stepped aside to allow her passage down the hall before him. “Then let’s not waste any more of the night, shall we?”
The two made their way down the castle corridors, attempting to make casual conversation. The weather, sports, and the like. There wasn’t much to say in the first place. That was, however, until they reached the bottom of the stair and were in the entrance hall.
“Oh. My. Gosh!”
The two looked over to see Starlight approaching them.
“Don’t you two just look adorable,” she cooed. “Definitely more in Minuette’s favor, but you look nice too, Spike.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks, Starlight. But if you would, we have to get g—”
“Hold on,” Starlight said, grabbing a camera from a nearby drawer. “I have to get a picture of you two. Now, stand together.”
Minuette giggled. “Ooh, I love pictures! I wanted to get some in the castle anyway before I left.”
She moved closer to Spike and wrapped a hoof around him, pulling him close to her chest. Spike’s face turned red, seeing as how the whole date thing was so foreign to him, much less being wrapped in the hoof of a beautiful mare.
“Oh, c’mon Spike, don’t be so embarrassed,” Starlight said with a snicker. “Now, both of you say ‘cheese’!”
The two smiled, and she took the picture.
“Perfect!” Starlight said aloud to them. “This will definitely be refrigerator material when it gets developed. Now, you two have a great night, and Spike?”
“Yeah, Starlight?’
She trotted over to him and poked him in the chest with a hoof, whispering in his ear, “I expect a full report of all the dumb things you say tonight when you two get back.”
Spike let out a sigh and gently took Minuette’s hoof in his claw. “Thank you, Starlight. But, we have places to see, ponies to go and so on. Let’s head out. Shall we?” He smiled at her.
Minuette’s eyes popped open a bit upon realizing Spike was holding her hoof. Her heart rate spiked at the sight of it. “I guess we’re leaving!” Minuette said, waving her hoof excitedly. “Bye, Starlight!”
Spike led her out the large castle doors. “We’re gonna have a great night, and it starts right here. Our private carriage awaits.”
Spike pointed to the end of the drive where a beautiful, white and gold carriage was waiting with an open door. It was definitely one of the finer—and pricier—carriages in the town.
“A private carriage? For us? Really?” Minuette looked at Spike, eyes wide.
“Of course,” he said with a wink. “What’d you expect? For us to walk there? My date only deserves the best.”
Minuette rapidly blinked. No more signs, he said it; it was a date. She’d had a hunch with the fancy get up, the hoof-holding and then the carriage. There was no way it wasn't a date—him calling it one was just confirmation.
She smiled, a little nervous, “You're sweet,” she saId, pushing any doubts to the back of her mind. She may not have expected a date, but a date it was—best to just enjoy it!
Besides, while it wasn't the first time she'd ever been taken out by a stallion (or, in this case, a dragon), this was the first time she'd ever gotten a carriage ride!
She stamped her hooves with glee. “Well, we shouldn’t keep the cabbie waiting!”
Spike nodded.
Hoof in claw, they made the short walk down the drive to where the carriage was awaiting them. The driver hopped out of the front seat and greeted them.
“Uh, good evenin’ to the, uh, two of you,” the unusually short driver said in an unusually shrill voice. “We can leave right away.”
Spike looked the driver up and down and rolled his eyes. He gestured to the open carriage door and shot Minuette a smile. “After you, of course.”
She smiled sweetly and hopped in. “Thank you, Spike.”
Spike shut the door and immediately turned his attention to the driver, who looked suspiciously like a marshmallow filly he knew, only with a fake mustache. “Cut the act, Sweetie, I know it’s you.”
“Shh,” she hissed, “you’ll blow my cover.”
“Look, I don’t know how you set this up, and I don’t have the time to care right now, but I have to ask: Why?”
“Oh, setting it up was easy!” She replied. “I just told the driver he could have a thirty minute cigarette break. He ran off and never looked back. And how else was I supposed to know where you guys were going on your date?”
“So you just lied and stole a carriage?” Spike deadpanned.
“Well when you put it that way…”
Spike shook his head, claw clutching his forehead. “You know what? Whatever. Just take us to Gustavo’s. It’s on the outskirts of town by the gardens. Okay?”
She nodded and climbed back into the driver’s seat, leaving Spike to hop in the carriage with Minuette.
“What was all that about?” she asked him.
“I just had to tell the driver something. No biggie. You ready for an awesome night?”
She nodded. “Definitely!”
Spike smiled and leaned forward. “Alright, driver, we’re ready to go. You know the place.”
Sweetie Belle nodded, and they were on their way.
Minuette sat with a smile, forehooves crossed in front of her. Then, she scowled. She nudged Spike, then pointed in the rearview mirror. “Look at that,” she whispered. “Isn't that weird?”
Out of the corner of the mirror he spotted Sweetie Belle, visible as the sun in the sky. He bit his lip for a half-second. “Nope,” he said, shaking his head as sweat formed on his brow, “nothing weird at all.”
“Are you sure?” She cocked an eyebrow.
“Mhm.” He nodded, too quickly.
Minuette continued to stare at the mirror puzzled, as Spike silently prayed to Celestia she'd change the subject.
“Oh well. I guess I just don't see the point in having a rear view mirror in a carriage. I mean, they only go forwards anyways.” She shrugged, eyes finally breaking from the mirror and settling on her date. “So how've you been since—” She froze, her face twisting in confusion. “Are you okay?” she asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Spike let a deep breath out. “Yeah, I’m doing okay. I’m just a little nervous is all. I’m not used to being around mares as pretty as you.”
Minuette chuckled, playfully socking him with her hoof. “Oh, stop it, you flirtatious beast, you. I’m nothing special. Just your regular, run-of-the-mill mare here, living check-to-check and such.”
“Oh, I beg to disagree,” Spike said, wearing a smile stemming purely from the immense satisfaction of having steered the conversation back in his favor. “I’ve never met a mare that’ struck me with their beauty as much as you have. How’s that for flirtatious?”
“Oh my, now we’re getting into soap opera territory, Spike,” Minuette said, stifling a giggle. “You better watch out or I might feel the sudden and canon-breaking need to marry you.”
“Or worse,” Spike said, laughing alongside her. “I might die of a heart attack and my secret twin will come out of nowhere and marry you instead.”
“Spike, be honest with me,” she said, sniggering. “Do you read As The Dragon Turns in Canterlot Weekly?”
Spike blushed. “Uh, yeah… It’s weird, but it passes the time.”
Minuette giggled and clapped her hooves together. “Oh my gosh, so do I! I’ve never told anypony before, though. It’s kind of a guilty pleasure.”
Spike was at a loss for words. “I’ve never told anypony either! I just assumed nopony would understand.”
“Awww,” she said, fawning, “why wouldn’t they?”
“Because, it’s not something that one would normally expect a ‘draconian male’ to enjoy,” he said, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red. “Even Twilight, who reads everything, said it was garbage water. You know that dirty liquid that collects at the bottom of trash bins? That’s what she said it was. ‘The refuse of waste.’”
Minuette stifled another laugh, “I guess it is a bit… girly,” she said with a fluttering of her lashes, “though it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Well, not for that reason anyways. It’s really cheesy.”
“I love cheesy things, what can I say?” Spike shrugged. “On a separate topic though, for the sake of my own pride, what do you do for work? I actually don’t know too much about you.”
“Hm,” she mused, tapping her chin with a hoof, “since you and Twilight left, I’ve been working as a paralegal for a small firm, doing research on cases, drafting and organizing documents, contacting witnesses and clients, pretty much the lawyer doesn’t want to do.”
“Very cool!” Spike said. “Have you seen any interesting cases come through?”
“Hmm,” she started, “well, the firm I work for mostly does handles civil suits, like Divorce settlements, property disputes stuff like that. Though, there was this one couple where the mare and stallion were married, right? And it turns out that the stallion was cheating. So, the stallion was cheating, and after we start the case it turns out the mare was cheating too! But here’s the kicker! The stallion was cheating with the stallion the mare was cheating with. It turns out the stallion in question was trying to double dip for part of their inheritance or some nonsense. The case was so ridiculous we referred them all to a psychologist and family counselor. And get this,” she said, pausing for dramatic effect, “after counseling, right? They all decided they were going to get married, because, y’know, polygamy,” she finished with a nod. “That’s probably the craziest I’ve seen. I expect worse though. I’ve only been there for two months.”
Spike’s eye twitched. “Can I have a map to that story, please?”
She burst into laughter. “Sure! Where would you like me to start you?”
“Start me at whatever path leads to your heart.” Spike fired a smirk and winked, holding it for as long as he could before he burst into a chuckle-fit. “No, but seriously, I couldn’t imagine trying to keep up with all that nonsense. It’s impressive.”
“I didn’t go to Celestia’s School of Gifted Unicorns for nothing,” she said, punctuated by a wink of her own.
“Ahem!”
The two heard the poorly masked carriage driver speak from the front.
“We’re here, folks! You two enjoy your night!.”
The two slipped out of the carriage, Minuette, then Spike; but right before he exited the driver whispered just loud enough so he alone could hear: “We’ll be watching.”
“Oh come on, cut the—”
“Ya! Giddy up, boys!” Sweetie Belle, yelled, cracking the whip.
Instantly, the carriage took off, and Spike fell out and onto the ground, face-first. He groaned, clutching the side of his head briefly, then he pushed himself up, wobbling side to side as he tried to catch his balance. “Sweetie Belle…” he muttered, frustrated.
His eyes snapped up as soon a familiar giggle hit his ears. He blushed as he realized his date had seen the whole ordeal. “You okay there, bud?” she asked, trying to conceal a grin with her hoof.
He dusted off his suit, and took his place at her side. “Yeah,” he said, “I guess the cabbie thought I’d gotten out already or something.”
She scratched the base of her muzzle. “Huh. You think they’d check for those things. Did you leave a nice tip?”
“Uh…” His face turned beet red as rubbed the back of his neck.
She snickered. “That’s probably why, then. I remember when I went to Manehattan a couple summer’s ago with some friends—Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine—we took carriages all over the place, and boy did those stallions like their tips. Likewise, when they didn’t get tips they’d always shoot customers the stink-eye,” she said, doing her best impression, before laughing some more.
“Trust me,” Spike said. “I have the situation under control in this instance. However, if you look to the north you will see we have arrived at Ponyville’s top tier restaurant: Gustavo’s!”
“Oooh, fancy,” she said, clapping her hooves together, “I hope it’s as good as it sounds. Gustavo’s,” she echoed, tittering.
“Well,” he said, offering her his arm, “shall we?”
“After you,” she said, hooking her arm with his, and they skipped into the restaurant.
As Spike stepped inside, he felt the lush, velvet carpet tickle his toes. A matching velvet curtain separated the front of the restaurant from the dining area. In front of the velvet current was a marble, white greeter’s stand. The light from the ornate overhead chandelier made the stand shine, making it stand out amongst the velvet sea.
Spike glanced out of the corner of his eye at Minuette, her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide with amazement. “Just wait ‘till you get inside,” he said, with a grin.
Holding his date’s hoof in his claw, Spike approached the greeter’s stand. Chest swollen, he cleared his throat loudly to introduce his presence.
A moment later, a beige mare with glasses leaned over the stand. The mare twisted her face, looking confused for a moment, before shrugging. “Reservation please?”
“Should be under the name Spike, last name Dragon, middle name ‘the’.”
The mare rolled her eyes, then scrolled down a list, until she stopped about halfway down. “Ah, I see,” she said, pushing her glasses up her snout, “Spike the Dragon, table for two?”
“Yes ma’am!”
“Alright, please follow me.” she said, grabbing two menus from below the stand.
The two followed the mare down the aisle to their designated table: a large, padded wooden booth in the back corner, away from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant.
“Wow, Spike, reservations and everything?” Minuette asked as she was sitting down.
“Oh, yeah,” Spike said. “You can’t get in here without them. I pulled a few strings and made it happen, though.”
The two took their seats, straightened their clothes, made themselves comfortable… and that was when the awful thing happened.
Spike noticed the mysterious lack of a lump where his wallet should be.
Oh no, Spike thought.
Spike looked across the table to Minuette, skin a shade lighter. “Hey, I have to, uh, use the bathroom. Emergency situation. When the waitress gets back, just order me a root beer. I’ll be right back.”
Spike dashed from his seat before Minuette could respond, making his way towards the bathrooms, before slinking toward the front door, hopefully unnoticed. He maneuvered his way through the doors and out onto the walkway in front of the restaurant.
“Please be here, please be here… Crap!” His eyes darted back and forth along the street, and sure enough, no Sweetie Belle. He tugged on his collar. “Think, Spike. Think.”
“Pssst.”
“Huh?” Spike spun around on one claw to face a thicket of bushes. A pair of amber eyes stared out at him. “...Apple Bloom?”
Sure enough, Apple Bloom emerged from the bushes, wallet between her teeth. She walked up to him and dropped it at his feet, spitting away the leftover taste in her mouth. “Ya ever wash that thing?”
“My wallet?”
“Eeyup.”
“No?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“Well, ya should. It tastes like desperation,” she spat.
“What does that taste like?” Spike huffed.
“Sweaty, grimy, and real nasty.” Applebloom shuddered.
“Uh-huh… Thanks.” He grimaced, picking the wallet up off the ground. “Where’d you find it anyway?”
“You know when you fell from the carriage?”
Spike clicked his tongue and nodded. “Ah. That makes sense.”
“Eeyup,” Apple Bloom said, “Just lyin’ on the ground. Ya know, if we wasn’t stalkin’ you or nothin’, that ‘oughta be long gone by now.”
Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah…”
“Anyways…, I wanted to let you know it’s eighty-thirty. You still got three and a half hours left. I reckon you make the best of it,” she said, backpedaling toward the bushes. “Oh, and Spike. Remember: Always. Watching.” With that, she slipped back into the brush, leaving a rather confused Spike. But he didn’t have time to stand around.
He ran back through the entrance and slipped into the dining area, shifting alongside the curtain until he figured he was close enough to the bathroom that he didn’t look suspicious. While Minuette was glancing away, he casually slipped back into his booth.
“So, how about that bathroom, huh?” Spike asked. “They have imported soaps all the way from Las Pegasus, can you believe it?”
“Well, that sure seems like an overhead cost nightmare!” Minuette replied with a giggle. “I just get my soap from the one bit or less store. Does the job.”
“Did she ask for our drinks yet?” Spike asked.
“Mhm,” she said. “I got you a root beer and I got myself a water. That’s what you wanted, right?’
“Definitely,” Spike replied with a smile.
The waiter returned shortly with their drinks. “Here you are. Are you ready to order or shall I return in a few moments?”
“We need some time, thanks,” Spike said. The waitress nodded and sauntered off to parts unknown.
The two picked up their menus and perused them. While in the process, Minuette started snickering.
“What’s so funny?” Spike asked.
“Oh, it’s just that I overheard a couple at another table. The stallion asked them if they have ‘diet, caffeine free soda.’”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “Like, what’s the point? You may as well drink aspartame in garbage water. All that’ll do is hurt your teeth. I mean, I’m no dentist or anything, but it can’t be good for you.”
“It’s the same principal as non-alcoholic liquor,” Spike retorted. “You’re just crazy if you drink it.”
“I can toast to that.” The two clacked their drinks together and took a quick swig. “On that note, Spike, what’s good here? Spaghetti and hayballs? Tofu salad with carrot strips?”
Spike flipped through his menu, grinning. “Trust me, I’ve been here many a time and there is one thing and one thing only you should get.”
“Which is?”
“The hay wrapped radish sticks with a side of creamy dijon dipping sauce. You get a full order, a side of mashed potatoes… It’s beyond amazing.”
“Hmm…” She glanced at the picture of the item in the menu and her mouth began to water. “Okay, yeah, that looks amazing. I’ll get that!. What are you getting?”
“The double size queso and hay bean burrito,” Spike said, shutting the menu. “It’s not much, but I’m a simple guy.”
Minuette chuckled and closed her menu as well. The waiter showed up immediately, as if on cue.
“Are we ready to order?” he asked, pen and paper in his magical grip.
“Yes we are,” Spike replied. “What would you like, Minuette?”
“Yeah, I’ll have the hay wrapped radish sticks with the creamy dijon sauce. And the mashed potatoes with brown gravy as the side.”
“Good choice, ma’am,” the waiter said, scribbling down his notepad. “What for you, sir?”
“I’ll have my usual,” he replied with a suave grin. “The burrito. You know the one.”
“Of course, sir,” he replied, smiling.“I’ll get that in for you two immediately.”
The two thanked him and sat in an awkward, pre-dinner silence for a moment. Spike, in his brief but infectious research, read these silences happen from time to time. Apparently, the best remedy for them was to ask the lady something about herself.
“So, Minuette?” Spike asked, breaking the silence. “What’s your favorite color?”
It was a stupid question, but it was better than nothing.
“Actually,” Minuette responded. “I have two favorites.”
“What are they?”
“I kinda don’t wanna say,” she said, her face heating up. “You’ll laugh at me.”
“Oh, c’mon, it can’t be that embarrassing. They’re just colors.”
She let out a deep breath. “Purple… and green.”
Spike nodded and was about to respond before it hit him. “Oh… You know what? I kinda like those colors, too! I think I wear them quite well.”
The mare grinned and let out a small laugh. “I promise, I’m not just saying that to get on your good side. I’ve loved those colors since I was a filly. What are yours?”
Spike was about to shout his answer out without a second thought, but then, he was hit with yet another ton of bricks. “You’re not gonna believe me, but… Blue.”
Minuette erupted into a fit of laughter. “Are you serious? There’s no way this is happening.”
“I’m serious!” he replied. “It’s a super cool looking color, and it’s also really pretty sometimes.”
Minuette felt her heart flutter for a brief moment. “Oh, well, on that end… Purple and green are definitely good looking colors in their own right.”
The two could both feel their faces turning red as nervous laughter emanated between the two.
“So, a little more cheese and we won’t be hungry for dinner, huh?” Spike asked, gingerly bouncing aside from the flirtatious talk.
“You have a point there,” she said. “But, I do have a question?”
“Shoot.”
Minuette motioned her hoof to the surroundings. “I’ve never been to such a fancy restaurant before. Or even had a private carriage ride. And I live in Canterlot. How do you afford all this? I know you live in the castle, but seriously. I’m amazed.”
“Well,” Spike said, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s not so much that I afford it, as it is that being part of the royal family grants me access to all this. The carriage belongs to the castle. I get last minute reservations requests free of charge at all the restaurants. But, our dinner tonight, I took this out of my savings. I kinda wanted to put in the extra effort on that part.”
Minuette gushed, suddenly feeling a little bad, but she figured it’d be a little rude to mention it. “Well thanks, Spike. It really means a lot to know you went through all this trouble for me. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
Spike grinned and let out a nervous laugh. “Oh, don’t mention it. Honestly, I don’t get a whole lot of chances to impress mares, so I wanted to go the whole nine yards.”
“Oh yeah?” she asked, taking a sip of her water. “You may not be a stallion, but you still strike me as quite the stud.” She winked, then started to take another sip of her water, but couldn’t, as she started laughing. “I’m sorry, I can’t do that sort of stuff; that was extremely forced, not to mention horribly cheesy. Oh Celestia, what if we are in a sitcom?” she asked, followed by a chortle.
“I imagine it would be a hit, what with all the awkwardness going on here,” Spike said with a laugh. “But honestly, you’re really beautiful. And I’m not saying that forced. Just wanted to throw that out there.”
“Aw, stop it.” She flicked a dismissive hoof his way. “You’re too sweet.”
“I’m just telling the truth,” Spike said. “Just judging from what you said about not ever having been on a date like this… I feel like you probably don’t hear it enough. So, now you’ve heard it at least today.”
“That’s really thoughtful of you, Spike.” She smiled, her cheeks as warm as they could be. “But, let’s spin it—we’ve been talking about me quite a bit; what about you? How’s life been ever since you left Canterlot?”
“Me?” Spike’s eyes widened a good deal. “Nopony really asks about me much. Umm, things have been pretty good. I’ve gotten a lot more responsibility in the grand scheme of things. And, of course, there was this one time in the Crystal Empire… but you probably don’t wanna hear all about that.”
“Of course I do!” Minuette protested. “Tell me what happened—Every. Single. Detail.” She leaned forward, hooves buried in her cheeks.
“Well, suffice it to say I saved the entire city and perhaps all of Equestria!” Spike hopped on his feet to make his point. “Picture this: King Sombra rising from the depths of tartarus. His armies at the gates. But, Spike—the brave and glorious—on the back of one Princess Cadance flies in to put a stop to his tyranny and saves the day! And now, there’s a giant crystal statue of yours truly in the center of the city. I’m pretty much royalty there.”
“Wow,” Minuette said, jaw hanging slightly. “You didn’t tell me I was having dinner with an Equestrian hero. Royalty I knew, but even Prince Powder Puff is royalty. A hero, now that’s a catch.” Minuette said with a smile, holding it for a second. Then, it fell. “Why did you ask me then?”
Spike opened his mouth up but quickly shut it. He had to remember Starlight’s advice: Don’t tell!
“Well,” Spike said, searching his brain for the perfect response. “I could tell you, but it’s probably a bit cheesy.” That would buy him a couple more seconds.
“Oh, I don’t mind cheesy. If you haven’t noticed we’ve kind of been running with the whole bad sitcom humor thing for a while now,” she finished, twirling her hooves in the air trying to capture the length of ‘a while.’
Here goes…
“Well, I kinda always thought that you were super pretty. But it’s more than that. I feel like I dreamed you into life.” Spike paused for a moment and took her hoof in his claw. “Let me explain. I kinda had a crush on you back in Canterlot. You seemed so different from all the other mares. You were funny, very smart and you always spoke your mind. You weren’t afraid to be yourself. I always thought you were awesome, but when we moved… I kinda just gave up on it. But, when you walked in the door yesterday, all those feelings came rushing back. Growing up, I’ve always dreamt I’d have at least one chance with a mare that has all the amazing qualities you have, but I never thought I’d get the chance. I guess dreams actually come true sometimes.”
Minuette stared. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He stared back at her, eyes glazed. She knew she had to say something, but she didn’t know what. She’d never struggled with finding the right words; she’d never encountered an issue with adding to a conversation before but… this was different. Her heart tightened. “I…”
At that moment the waiter returned to their table, both dishes in his magical grasp. “Who had the radish sticks with potatoes?”
Minuette’s skin flushed, her face turning a soft pink. “I did,” she said tentatively.
“And the burrito for you, sir?” he said, placing Spike’s food in front of him.
“Thank you,” Spike said, barely audible.
They both stayed silent for a minute or two, neither really eating, moreso just poking at their meals.
Spike had been stealing glances every time he thought her eyes were focused elsewhere. She’d been stabbing her radish sticks with her fork for at least thirty seconds now and had yet to take a bite.
“So…” he trailed off. Her head snapped up, as if she’d awoken from a trance. “How is it?” he asked.
A strange sensation slivered up her spine, and she shivered. “Uh…” she started, “it’s good. How about yours?”
“Oh, fantastic,” Spike said, taking a bite. “I love burritos.”
Minuette flinched slightly as he chewed with his mouth full. Finally, she shoved a radish stick in her mouth. She chewed for a second, and like a lightbulb, her face lit up. “Oh my Celestia.” She fanned herself. “This are fantastic. I don’t think I’ve ever had radish sticks so… so good.” she said, stabbing her fork into another one and tossing it her mouth.
“I told you they were good,” Spike said, taking another bit of his burrito. “Like I said, only the best is good enough for a date with Spike.”
She giggled, warmth returning to her cheeks, but her heart wrenched again, and her smile faded before it could fully return. “Of course,” she said. Her face was stoic; she didn’t frown, but she didn’t don her signature smile either, so to anyone who knew her, pretty much a frown. Determined not to let her strange emotions ruin the night, she shook her head and tried again. “So, what’s it like with Starlight?”
Minuette grimaced, and scolded herself. Of all the questions, you could have asked, you asked the one about the other mare. Batting a thousand, aren’tcha, Minnie? She clutched her spoon in her magic, and took a bite of mashed potatoes. Can’t answer now. She thought, thinking somehow the food would fill the awkward moments of silence between answers.
It did.
“What’s it like with Starlight?” Spike cocked a brow. “What do you mean?’
Or maybe it didn’t.
“Oh, you know,” she said, fiddling with her fork, “friends and everything. It’s not everyday you hear about an internationally wanted villain being the protege of the Princess of Friendship. Or best friends with said princess’s assistant.” She forced an exaggerated smile.
“Oh! I get it.” Spike set down his fork and looked at her directly. “It’s actually not bad. She was what we call… socially confused. But, she hasn’t tried to brainwash us yet, and she’s actually a lot of fun to hang out with, so it’s pretty good.”
Minuette grinned and took a long sip of her water. The sooner they end this line of conversation the better, lest Spike think of her as the jealous type. She wasn’t jealous at all. Right?
“Hey,” she said, mouth filled with food. “Can you pass the salt?”
Spike chuckled and happily obliged. “Here you go.”
She definitely wasn’t jealous.
The rest of their dinner continued without a hitch. They passed the time with consistent conversation and the like before it was finally time to take their leave. Spike paied the bill and led Minuette, claw in hoof once again, out of the restaurant.
“After you, m’lady” he said, as he opened the door. She nodded and slipped inside. Then Spike followed suit.
As he took his seat, Spike picked the conversation back up. “So, what’d you think of—”
“I’m sorry.” Minuette blurted out. Eyes glazed over, she stared at her hindhooves, half-mindedly watching as she swung them back and forth.
“Huh?” Spike blinked.
“I said I’m sorry,” she repeated, now staring out the window.
Spike raised a talon only to withdraw it a second later. He tried to speak, but was at a loss for words. Instead, he twiddled his thumbs. “What are you… sorry for?” he asked, scooting a bit closer.
Minuette’s eyes widened as she gazed upon the stars just outside her carriage window. They appeared so close, but they were so far away. She sighed and slumped forwards. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond to you when you told me how you felt in there. I’m sure you’ve been thinking of it, because I know I have. It’s tough not to get an answer after pouring your heart out to someone. Believe me, I know.” Her eyes shifted further down.
“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Spike said, scooting just close enough he could rub her shoulder.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, then released another sigh. She blinked, eyes staring back out the window as she regarded the night sky. “It’s weird, but imagine you’re the stars, yeah?” she said. “And then imagine other ponies are the moon: it’s bigger, more space, more ponies, makes sense. Or, it does to me at least.” She turned from the window, her eyes meeting Spike’s. Then she stared back at her hooves. “You ever notice how on the nights where the moon shines the brightest, the stars are the dimmest? Then on nights where the moon doesn’t shine, stars are at their brightest?
“Well, I’ve always considered myself to be a star. I mean, I’m super… what’s it… bubbly. Or in comparison to the stars, I shine. I’m bright and stuff. But I’m at my brightest when other ponies aren’t, and what I mean by that is… say the moon is feeling down, or somepony is feeling down. I shine extra bright then. Then the following night I’m not as bright, but that person—or the moon—is brighter than it was before. After a couple nights, the moon is brighter, and the stars don’t shine as bright. It’s like their giving its light to the moon, so the moon can shine as much as it can until finally the moon is as bright as can be. But the stars have faded into the night…” Minuette sighed.
“Soon enough, the moon will start losing its energy again and the stars will have to shine bright again, the whole process repeats itself. Yadda, yadda, this and that. I feel like I’m the stars. And being as… positive and over-the-top as I always am I feel like I do my best when I’m lifting up other ponies and everything. I’m making them more positive, and I’m making them happy!” she cheered, smiling, throwing a hoof in the air before her stoic expression returned. “Then, I’m small. I’m not as bright, not saying I’m sad or anything like that, but now the moon’s giving light back to me, and it feels strange? So when I’m all brightened up, I return the light, and the cycle repeats itself.” She bit her lip. “I guess what I’m saying, in an oddly convoluted way, is… I feel overwhelmed?” She smiled awkwardly.
“The carriage, the restaurant, the food, the you, the what you said in the restaurant…” she trailed off. “I just don’t know what to say to that. I’ve never been treated so nicely. I spend most of my time helping others, and with my friends, the whole being treated like a princess thing is a… strange feeling. Not that I don’t love it! I mean, I love attention—it’s the extrovert’s staple. But…” she tapped both of her hooves against the seat as she pondered, “there’s too much sometimes. My best date before this was prom. I went with a nice colt, he took me out to the best place he could afford, some western restaurant, and then we went to the dance, stayed there until eleven thirty-ish, and stopped for milkshakes before he took me home. It wasn’t much, but it was nice—nowhere near as nice as this date has been, but still nice,” she said, followed by a quick nod. “I’ve loved tonight, it’s been amazing, but it’s a lot, that’s all, and I’m not used to it.”
This whole time she couldn’t face him. She was afraid. Her heart and her mind waged war: did she like him, or did she like everything he’d done? She had no idea, and frankly no solution either. Finally, she mustered the courage to look at him. By now he’d pulled away from her side and sat at the opposite side of the carriage, staring at her with glossed eyes. Their eyes locked for a few seconds, but neither of them spoke. Spike simply nodded and turned his head to the carriage driver.
“Hey, Cabbie. Could you stop the carriage?” The driver nodded, and flicked his whip as the carriage slowed to a halt.
Minuette wrinkled her brow. “What are you doing?”
“Come on,” he said, opening the carriage door on his side, “there’s a place not too far from here, best milkshakes in town. We can walk there.” He smiled, offering her his claw.
Minuette’s cheeks burned as she gaped at his claw. Hesitantly, she placed her hoof in his claw, while still looking at him expressionless. Then her gaze moved up his arm until they fell on his face complete with dimples and an uncertain smile.
She smiled back.
Sugarcube Corner was lit up, despite the darkness of the night, by the sounds of laughter.
“Spike, you’re so right!” Minuette said. “These milkshakes are amazing!”
“I told you, didn’t I?” Spike said. “The Cakes know what they’re doing when it comes to everything sweet-related.”
“Oh, stop it, hun!” Mrs. Cake said from behind the counter. “We’re just doing what we love, here.”
“Thank you, by the way, for letting us come in after hours,” Spike said. “I really wanted to show Minuette this place.”
“Of course, dear,” Mrs. Cake replied. “Anything for you and your little marefriend.”
Minuette and Spike both blushed.
“Oh, she’s not—””
“--I’m not—”
“—Well, you could be—”
“—I might be…?”
Mrs. Cake chuckled. “Well, it’s so sweet you decided to come out to my shop. I love old-fashioned romance like that. Feel free to stay as long as you like, dears,” she said, disappearing into another room.
Minuette watched as Mrs. Cake left, then turned back to her date. “This was such a great night, Spike.” Minuette smiled. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like I enjoyed myself this much. I mean, I’m always happy and everything, love life, but...” she trailed off, staring off into the distance, “this has been really special.” She smiled, eyes falling back on the drake.
“Me too,” Spike said.
Minuette let out a yawn against her will and patted away at her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just not used to staying up this late.”
Spike returned the ever-so contagious yawn. ‘Oh man, me too.”
“I’d hate for this night to end,” MInuette continued, “but maybe we should head back. I’ve got a long trip back home in the morning.”
Spike tugged at his collar and shot a glance at the clock on the wall: eleven-twenty. He still had time.
“I think I agree with you, but, if you’re up for it, there is one more place I’d like to take you. If you don’t mind, of course.”
Minuette rubbed her chin for a moment with a smug grin. “Hmm. I suppose I can make the sacrifice.”
“Great!” Spike grabbed her by the hoof and led her out of the building. “It’s kind of a long walk, but trust me, it’ll be worth it.”
“Hold on, Spike,” Minuette said, halting her tracks. “Is it cool if I run back in and use the bathroom real fast. It’s kinda an emergency after all that milkshake.”
Spike nodded and his date disappeared back into the shop. Spike could feel his heart beating at an ever increasing rate just thinking about their last stop. If everything went according to plan, it’d be smooth sailing to Kiss-ville.
But at the same time… He really wanted it. Not just for the bet. But because he liked her. He really liked her.
Spike was snapped out of his thoughts however by a rustling from the bushes, followed by three heads emerging from the brush.
“You guys really need to work on your spy skills,” Spike said, approaching the fillies. “What is it now?”
“You’re running out of time, Spike,” Scootaloo said. “You’ve got less than an hour now.” She turned over her wrist, giving her watch a tap. “A half-hour, almost.”
“Yep!” Apple Bloom said. “You better get your rear in gear or we’re gonna win!”
“Oh, c’mon guys,” Sweetie Belle said. “It’s really sweet how well they’re getting along. Just, you know, he’s gotta hurry up, or it doesn’t mean squat! It’s sweet squat, but still squat.”
The three crusaders hoof bumped and disappeared back into the bushes, more than likely to be heard from again in the near future.
Spike shook his head and turned around at the sound of the Sugarcube Corner door chime.
“Sorry about that, Spike!” Minuette said, “Nature calls and I listen. You ready to go? I’m excited to see what this place is!”
“You haven’t seen nothing yet!”
The walk there was peaceful, Minuette and Spike chattering away, enjoying the peace of each other’s company. It took twenty or so minutes for them to arrive at their destination.
Spike covered Minuette’s eyes as they neared the top of the hill. “No peeking,” he teased, as he crossed the hill crest. “Only a few more steps… and... “ Spike removed his claws. “You can peek now,” he said, followed by a snort.
Minuette blinked her blurry eyes, and looked up, unleashing a groan as she realized his awful pun. “A mountain?” Minuette asked. Her gaze fell back to eye-level and into the depths of a cavern. “A cave?” She looked nervously at Spike, then moved her eyes back to the cave. She frowned. “I don’t mean to sound rude,” she said, eyes returning to him, “but it’s not exactly… what I was expecting.”
“Trust me, it’ll be more than what you were expecting.”
Minuette looked at the dragon and pursed her lips. “I believe you,” she said with a nod.
“Close your eyes and follow me!” he said with a grin, exposing one of his fangs. “Then—” he paused to huff out his chest “—prepare to be amazed.” He entered the cave. Minuette hesitated, curling her hoof to her chest, and chewing on her lip for a moment. Her stomach churned a little.
“Spike?” she called out, and the dragon stopped in his tracks, turning on his heel to face her.
“Yeah?”
“How late is it?”
Spike turned over his arm and pushed up his sleeve. He squinted, then gulped, inaudible to Minuette. “Eleven fifty-three.”
Minuette took a half-step back. “Are you sure we can’t just go home? I mean, I love caves as much as the next pony, but…” She bobbed her head side to side in contemplation. “I don’t think they’re really my thing, that’s all,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck.
He walked back to her side, and stared into her eyes. “It’s not just any cave, believe me. It’s special,” he said, offering his claw to her. “Do you trust me?”
She went cross-eyed at his claw, and another deep breath escaped her. She nodded. “Okay.” A smile graced her muzzle. “Let’s go.”
“Ah-ah. Close your eyes first.”
She sighed and shut her eyes tight.
She gripped his claw tight and let him lead her to Celestia knows where. There were quite a few twists and turns and the air quickly grew colder as they made progress. Part of her mind was jumping around, questioning what ‘awesome thing’ could be at the end of a dark, spooky place. It seemed like a waste of time to her. She was tired, and now she was scared. But, something inside her just kept telling her to trust him. So, she did just that and pressed onward.
After another minute or so, of walking, Spike stopped.
“Okay, Minuette,” she heard him say. “Open your eyes.”
Minuette cracked her eyes open and the sight that befell her eyes dropped her jaw. There weren’t just boring stone corridors. Instead, there were beautiful rock formations, glowing vegetation and incredible crystal sculptures formed by the hand of mother nature herself. It was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever witnessed.
“Spike, what is this place?”
“This is an underground cavern a friend of ours discovered a ways back. An entire ecosystem somehow found a way to survive down here. Do you like it?”
Minuette turned to him. “It’s beautiful. Thanks for showing me it. I’m really glad I decided to go with you here.”
“Well, I knew you would. You just had to trust me.”
“I’m thankful I did,” she said with a smile. “You know, Spike, not just this, but I’m thankful we had this entire night together. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a date, much less one like this. This night has been amazing.”
“Well, the day’s not over yet,” Spike said, inching closer to her. “We still have a couple minutes before it’s officially tomorrow and I can think of a way to make this the real best night ever.”
Minuette’s heart jumped, but she ignored it and moved closer to him. “Well, uh, I think I’d like that, too.”
She moved her head down, inching closer to his face, She could feel the warmth of his breath getting closer to hers. Closer, closer…
The two’s romantic entanglement was interrupted by a loud cracking sound.
“What was that?” Minuette jumped back from Spike, leaving the dragon with a groan.
“Shh, quiet! They’ll hear us!” a voice hissed from behind a rock in the distance.
“What’s that noise?” Minuette asked.
Spike’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks as he panicked. “Oh, it’s nothing!” Spike blurted. “Must just be some water dripping or a crazy animal. You know how it is.” He forced an exaggerated smile.
“Well, I swear I heard a voice. Is anyone there? Hello?”
“Hello!” a squeaky voice replied back, followed by a quick thump, then a shrill “ow.”
“Quiet, Sweetie,” another voice hissed, “we’re not here, remember?”
“Hold on, Spike,” Minuette said, walking over to the rock. Beads of sweat coursed down Spike’s forehead as he pleaded with Celestia for Minuette to stop. “There’s something going on in here.” The mare trotted over and looked behind said rock, revealing three fillies crouched together, overstated smiles plastered on their faces.
“Uh, hi there!” Apple Bloom said.
“Hey, I know you three,” Minuette said with a perplexed frown. “You guys were at the same place I met Spike at yesterday, right?”
“That’s us!” Scootaloo said. “We’ve been spying on you guys all night, making sure Spike didn’t screw things up.”
“That does explain the rather short carriage driver we had earlier,” Minuette said, rubbing her chin.
The three fillies got up and walked out to where Spike was standing.
“Wow, Spike,” Sweetie continued. “You proved us wrong. Big time!”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom said. “Looks like you’re gonna win the bet after all.”
Spike froze as he felt Minuette turn her gaze onto him.
“Bet? What bet?”
Spike did his best to smile. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just some silly filly game they were playing.”
“Oh, don’t be so modest, Spike,” Scootaloo said. “You’re gonna win fair and square.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie said, nudging Spike in the ribcage. “She was totally wanting you.”
“You know, you may as well tell her, Spike,” Apple Bloom stated, looking between Spike and his date.
“What are they talking about, Spike?” Minuette asked, walking up to him.
“Oh, it’s uh… Okay, look. I may have made a bet yesterday. A bet that insinuated I could get you to kiss me on our date.” Spike braced himself for any violence that may have incurred, but instead was met with Minuette just looking at him, jaw agape.
“Wait a second,” she said. “You’re telling me this whole date, all the things you said were just so you could win a bet? All that jazz about me being beautiful and actually liking me for me was just an act?”
“No! No, it’s not like that! I mean, it kinda is, but it’s not!”
“I should’ve figured.” Tears welled up in her eyes and dripped down her cheeks. “You’re all the same! I thought you could be different.”
Before Spike could say anything, Minuette ran away from him, disappearing into the caverns, leaving a stream of tears and sniffles in her wake.
“You see what you guys did?” Spike asked, turning to the crusaders. “Minuette, come back!”
Spike raced through the caverns after her, as fast as he could go, leaving the three fillies to themselves.
“Man, good things these caves are so shallow, or this could actually be dangerous,” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, I’ll give ‘em twenty minutes to find their way back.” Sweetie Belle replied.
“Eeyep.”
Spike wandered through the cavern he saw her run down, distraught, calling out her name.
“Minuette!” he shouted. “I’m sorry!”
“Go away!” a voice bounced off the cavern walls.
Thankfully, Spike's superior dragon hearing and natural night vision helped him pinpoint her location. He took a turn and walked a bit more and sure enough, the blue mare was lying on the ground on a bed of rocks, dress dirty and tattered from being dragged across all the rocks.
“Minuette?”
She turned away from him. “Go away. I just want to be alone.”
“I can’t do that,” Spike said. “You could get lost or worse. Please, let me talk to you.”
“Hmph, it doesn’t matter what you say,” she cracked out. “It’s probably not true anyway.”
Spike frowned and did his best to hold back his own tears. “You’re right…” he murmured, “you shouldn’t trust me. I’ve… shattered your trust, and I’m really sorry, and I understand if you don’t want listen to me, or if you hate me or whatever.” He stared at the ground. “You don’t have to believe me… but what I’m saying to you right now is one hundred percent true. No more lies, no more bets, no more… anything. Just you and me.” He stared at her for a second, then took a deep breath. “I’m an idiot. I’m a jerk. And I should’ve been honest with you.”
Minuette sniffled but still didn’t bother looking up. “You can say that again.”
“Alright, I will. I’m a jerk. But, please, let me explain what happened. The whole truth.”
The mare didn’t move.
“It’s true, I was part of a bet with the crusaders. They said I could never get a date and I ran my mouth. I saw Starlight coming and said I could get a date with the next mare that walked in, or something obnoxious like that. I figured I could convince Starlight to go on a pretend date with me and I’d have it in the bag. But—”
“But then I walked in first.”
“Yeah,” Spike said, taking a seat behind her. “At that point, the bet became the farthest thing from my mind. Not because I figured you’d be easy to trick, but because, well, I actually always…” The words got stuck in his throat, but somehow he managed to choke out the rest. “l-liked y-you.” He paused, and Minuette raised an ear, as well as opened an eye, though she still didn’t turn around. “That part was true. At that point, when you said you’d go on a date with me, all I cared about was making you happy. I, erm, I actually wanted you to like me.”
Minuette glanced at him. “Really? But why? Why not just win your bet and go home happy?”
He picked at his claws idly. “Because... believe it or not, I actually really liked you. Like, really liked you. I’ve always thought you were beautiful, but you remember what I said about your personality quirks and honesty and such? That all was true, and you proved it again to me tonight. Honestly, if it weren’t for the crusaders interfering in our business, I would’ve completely forgotten about the stupid bet.” He sighed.
“Even now, look at you. You’re listening to me,” he said and flicked a pebble across the ground.
“You hate me, or, you should hate me, but you’re still listening to me. Not every mare would do that…” His eyes remained glued to the floor. “You’re the only one.”
A hitched huff escaped her, as she turned around and took a seat closer to him. “You know, I wasn’t completely honest with you, either.”
Spike’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Well, when you asked me out, I thought it was just a friendly, hang out date. Not a real one. If I had known it was a romantic date, I probably would have made up an excuse to not go.”
A burning sensation filled his lungs as he spluttered, “W-why?”
She answered with a sigh. “It’s not because of you but… it kinda is.” Minuette stubbed her hoof into the ground. “I’m just not sure how I would’ve felt about going on a date with a dragon. Or someone so much younger than me. Or someone I hadn’t seen in years.” She smacked her lips, her glazed eyes moving across the wall. “But, honestly…” Her eyes settled back on him. “I’m glad I did.”
“R-really?” he asked.
“Mhm. You’re funny, charming, sweet ,and you see me for me. Not a lot of other ponies do that.” She chuckled. “I guess we’re both jerks, then.”
“Nah,” Spike said. “Just me.”
Minuette snickered and wiped the lingering tears from her eyes. “Yeah, I can’t argue with that.”
“Heh.” Spike nipped his lips. “Well, if you could possibly forgive me, may I please take you back home? I don’t want you to get lost,” he said, leaning on the balls of his feet.
She mulled it over for a moment, then nodded, offering him her hoof. “And just because you admitted how mean you were, I’ll even let you hold my hoof again.” And after a moment's hesitation, she smiled.
Spike chuckled and took it, leading her back to the cave’s entrance. It was a silent stroll through the caverns, but as opposed to feeling awkward like it had throughout the night, it was comforting. Relaxing, even.
They eventually made their way back to the area of the caverns where the crusaders were waiting for them, sitting next to each other in a line.
“You’re back!” they shouted out in unison.
Spike waved with his free claw. “Hey! Yeah, we’re back. We didn’t get too lost.”
The exchanged smug looks with each other, then looked at Spike. “Well?”
“Uh…” Spike scratched the back of his neck. “I didn’t—”
“He just didn’t want you to miss it.” A wicked smirk crossed her muzzle, as she grinned down at Spike. Suddenly, she leaned in.
His eyes widened. His surprise was quickly smothered in warmth. He felt a moist pressure against him. It took him a moment to figure it out, but he shut his eyes, and returned the kiss. Time stopped, and his heart flew into the air, taking him with it. For what felt like hours, he was locked into a perfect moment.
“Ewwww,” the crusaders chorused, grimacing, tongues out and gagging.
The kiss ended with a resounding pop, as Minuette pulled away, a guilty grin still across her face. She looked at Spike who was frozen in shock. “I-I-I-I,” he stammered.
She laughed. “I think you have a bet to discuss,” she said, swishing her tail as she walked away. She waved a hoof as she passed the crusaders, each donning an equally confused and horrified look. “Later, girls,” she said. Then she stopped in her tracks, glancing behind her. “I’ll be waiting outside. Okay, Spike?”
“Uh-huh…” he managed, still frozen in awe.
With that, she turned and left.
Spike blinked. “I-I-I-I.”
“Oh, Celestia.” Apple Bloom facehoofed, then walked over to Spike, the other two crusaders a half-step behind. She gripped him by the shoulders, and violently shook him. “Wake up!” she shouted.
Startled, he shook his head. “Huh, wha—” His eyes fell on Apple Bloom. “—oh.” It took him a second to realize, but he won! He really won! His chest swelled, and a smirk crossed his face. “Well, girls, looks like I won. I won’t be doing dishes for a long—”
“—It’s 12:38.” Scootaloo read, squinting at her watch.
Spike’s eyes widened, and his cheeks flamed from within. “Wh-what?” he sputtered. “How did it get so late?!”
“Seriously?” they chorused, cocking their brows in unison.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “You got here at eleven-fifty, you spent a couple minutes walking into the cave, another few minutes talking about the bet, chased after her, didn’t come back for at least twenty minutes, and then returned and got the kiss. In what backwards universe would you still have managed to kiss her within the time limit?”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “The same backwards universe where up is down and boy bands play instruments.”
“You know what?” Spike said, looking at all three of them. “I don’t even care. I had a great night with a beautiful mare and that’s all that matters. Besides, we never set terms.”
“What? No!” Apple Bloom jabbed the ground with a hoof. “That’s not how bets work! You lose, you do what we want.”
“Pffft, as if,” Spike said. “You never established terms, so I don’t have to do anything.”
“That is… so wrong, dude.” Scootaloo shook her head. “You owe us.”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom said. “I say milkshakes on you, for at least two weeks.”
“Two weeks?!”
“What, the dragon that can afford the priciest restaurant in town and rent a private carriage can’t cough up two weeks’ worth of shake money?” Apple Bloom fired back.
“No! That’s not the point, it’s the principle that matters. You didn’t make terms clear, so I don’t have to do anything.” Spike crossed his arms. “Besides, what do you need money for? Your family literally owns the biggest apple farm and distribution center in the entire country. You guys are rich!”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “It don’t work like that. Applejack and Granny decide my allowance.”
“We won the bet, we want shakes.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Not to mention your sister owns a successful boutique chain.” Spike rubbed his temples. The three bickered back and forth, talking milkshake economics.
Scootaloo sighed. “Yup. Just love… how we’re talking about… how rich our families are. Yeah. Love it. It’s great.”
“Alright, alright, alright,” Spike waved his claws. “I’m in a good mood, so two weeks of milkshakes. But...” The crusaders leaned in. “No ordering off the speciality menu.” He extended his claw.
The crusaders groaned their disagreement. “Fine,” they said, shaking his claw.
“Great!” he said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to take home.” Spike grinned and wandered out of the cave to meet up with the mare awaiting his arrival.
“Minuette!” Spike called out to her. “Sorry about that. But, it’s taken care of now.”
She waved as Spike approached her. “How’d it go?” she asked.
“Well, there was some hard bartering and push came to shove, but… I owe them milkshakes for two weeks. But, you know what, it doesn’t even matter, because tonight. Was. Awesome!”
She giggled. “I’d say it was.”
Spike smiled. “So, you have to leave tomorrow, huh?”
“Yeah…” she said, her ears flattening on the back of her head. “Back to the grind tomorrow. I’m leaving before the sun rises. My train’s at five.”
“That’s too bad,” Spike said. “Well, maybe I’ll have to go out to Canterlot sometime and create a legal problem. That way I have an excuse to see you.”
“Pffft.” She shook her head. “While that’s not a bad excuse, I can’t say I’ll be able to help you.”
“Hmm, if that’s the case, I should probably think of a different excuse.” Spike rubbed his chin. “What would happen if I somehow was in Canterlot, and I got hungry, but wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t have anyone to go to dinner with?”
“Hmmm,” she mused, “I guess that’d be pretty tragic. Depends, are the radishes going to be encrusted this time?”
“The radishes will be whatever you want them to be,” Spike said with a wink.
“That sounds great,” she smiled. Then, she opened her mouth wide as she unleashed a yawn. “This night has been wonderful, Spike, but I’ve got a train in the morning. Do you think we could start heading back?”
“Sure,” he said with a smile, then relinquished a yawn of his own. He gazed over the horizon, and sighed. “It’s going to be a long walk back with no chariot.”
She put a hoof on his shoulder. “That’s alright.” She smiled at him. “At least it’s in good company.”
Spike and Minuette tiptoed into the castle, trying not to make much noise as they went to their respective bedrooms.
“Good night, Spike.” Minuette blew him a kiss and walked down the opposite side of the hall.
“Good night, Minuette,” Spike said in return, a goofy grin adorning his face.
He turned around and made his way back to his room only to find a pink unicorn there waiting for him.
“Soooo, how’d it go?”
Spike frowned. “Starlight, your advice sucked!”
“What do you mean? How’d it suck?”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Well, I never told her about the bet like you said, but guess what? Through indescribable circumstances that can only be left to the will of the Gods, she found out and got really upset. Then, I had to spend a full fifteen minutes apologizing and making her feel better. It was crazy, complicated, and I blame you.”
“Whatever.” Starlight rolled her eyes. “Did you get the kiss?”
“You know it!”
Starlight grinned. “I take it you won then?”
“Technically… no.”
“So… you lost?” Starlight arched a brow.
“No-ho-oh.” Spike wagged a single talon, opening his bedroom door with his free claw. “I lost the bet, sure. But as far as I’m concerned...” He flashed a grin. “I won the night.”
