A ball of pure blue energy hovered in the centre of Canterlot. Arcs of electricity sparked across its surface with the occasional bolt breaking free and connecting with the ground. It seemed harmless enough, not leaving even a hint of residue or damage behind.
Guards formed a perimeter around the anomaly, keeping a crowd of onlookers at bay. Whatever had decided to generate this thing had picked a terrible spot to do so. They were in the middle of one of Canterlot’s busiest intersections with a crowd numbering in the thousands surrounding them.
Only two ponies were within the guard’s perimeter. One was Princess Celestia and the other was her most trusted friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
“I can see why you called me. This thing is truly strange,” Twilight said.
Celestia nodded. “Have you come across anything like it in your studies?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, never. This is something new to me.”
Her horn glowed, generating a field of magic around the anomaly. The electricity arced out and connected with her magic, creating an magnificent looking plasma ball. The crowded gasped in amazement.
“It’s not Equestrian in nature. I can tell you that,” Twilight said.
“Is it dangerous?”
“No idea but it doesn’t seem to be fighting my magic. Maybe we could figure out a way to move it to a more secure location?”
“That sounds like a terrific idea. The Royal Canterlot University has a facility out of town. I’m sure they’d be willing to lease it for such a purpose.”
Twilight nodded and ever so slowly began to lift the anomaly off the ground. It didn’t resist and she was able to move it effortlessly into the air. However, when it was about 3 metres off the ground it suddenly pulsed, sending out a wave of bright light.
She gasped, dropping her spell and the anomaly within. The ball of energy plummeted until it was only mere inches from the ground. At which point it stopped on a dime, hovering in place.
The anomaly was still stable. Though it now pulsated with a frequency of every 5 seconds.
Twilight took a step back, re-evaluating her course of action.
“Is there a chance we could construct something here?” she asked.
“Fancypants wouldn’t be overly fond of that,” Celestia said.
Something emerged from the anomaly. It looked like a gryphon’s talon. Though it was hard to make out due to it being constructed from pure energy. It glowed white and pulsated along with the portal. Then as suddenly as it appeared the talon was withdrawn.
The ponies nearest to the anomaly were stunned silent. This silence washed through the crowd until the whole city was eerily quiet.
“Well, that was strange,” Twilight said.
“What was that?” Celestia asked.
“I have no idea. It looked like something was trying to break through.”
“Is it hostile?”
“It might be?”
The talon poked back through the anomaly. This time it was joined by a foreleg and soon a whole body burst forth.
Twilight realized her error instantly. That was not a gryphon’s talon but rather the hand of a human she had seen. He was a tall lanky fellow with white skin and tuff of brown hair a top his head. Hair which descended down his cheeks into a pair of impressive mutton chops.
His attire was very foreign to her. He didn’t wear t-shirts and jeans like the humans she knew. Instead he opted for a pair of pale khaki pants and a white buttoned up shirt. In his gloved hands was a pole which reached from the ground all the way up to his torso.
He looked out upon the crowd of onlookers though failed to address them. Instead, he planted his pole into the dirt road and began to affix a banner to it. This banner consisted of a sea of blue with a red ‘x’ and ‘+’ overlapping on the foreground. These two symbols were accented in white.
The anomaly belched again and out came another figure and another. Each of these was adorned in a bright red uniform and held a metallic contraption in their hands. In total, there were 9 of these red coated figures and they seemed to study the crowd with a mixture of fear and excitement.
“Sir,” one of them said to the khaki adorned man, “where are we?”
“We’re…exactly where we’re meant to be, Sergeant,” he said.
The sergeant nodded. “Of course, sir.”
Twilight cantered over. “Excuse me.”
“Blimey,” said one of the red coats.
The khaki man turned to Twilight. “Oh hello. You speak English?”
“English?” a stallion in the crowd said, “she’s speaking Equestrian.”
The khaki man looked towards the stallion. “I don’t know about that. What you’re speaking sounds awfully a lot like English.”
The red coats nodded in agreement.
A mare in the crowd chimed in. “And what you’re speaking sounds an awful lot like Equestrian.”
The crowd nodded in agreement.
The khaki man ignored this. “Who’s in charge here?”
“I am,” Celestia and Twilight said in unison.
“Sorry, you go,” Twilight said.
“No, no, I insist,” Celestia said.
“Really, you should take seniority here.”
“And you’re clearly the subject matter expert.”
Twilight couldn’t argue with that. So, she turned to the khaki man. “Hello, my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
The khaki man’s expression faltered. “A monarch?” He bowed. “Where are my manner. My name is Earl Baldwin. I’m a representative of her majesty, Queen Victoria.”
Celestia walked over. “Queen Victoria? I do not believe I’ve had the privilege of meeting her.”
Baldwin smiled. “And who may you be?”
“I am Princess Celestia, ruler of this realm,” she said.
“Wouldn’t the rank of queen be more fitting for such duties?”
“It’s… complicated.”
“Of course, of course.”
“So, Mister Baldwin. For what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” Twilight asked.
Baldwin cleared his throat. “I am an explorer under instruction of her majesty to explore new lands and claim them for Britain.”
Celestia’s raised an eyebrow. “And are you claiming my kingdom for her?”
Baldwin laughed. “Naturally. Do not fear however. you will be allowed to keep your title. Believe me being a subject of the British crown is a mutual benefiting arrangement.”
“What exactly would we gain from this?”
“Access to better technology. Like railroads.”
“We already have those.”
“Oh well, um, you’ll become part of a global market. Your products will go far and wide and you will in turn receive goods from exotic locations.”
“Equestria is already at the centre of a global trade network. I doubt there’s really anything else our ponies need that we do not have.”
“Well Britain can protect you from your enemies.”
“Equestria doesn’t have any enemies that warrant a need for additional protection.”
Baldwin blew air into his cheek. “Well, when it comes down to it, it is our god given right to integrate you into our realm.”
Celestia smirked. “I don’t recall ever providing you or your kingdom any such right.”
Baldwin gawked. “You are not Jesus Christ.”
“I am not familiar with the fellow.”
“Well he is our lord and savior.”
“I thought your lord was this Victoria person,” Twilight said.
“Victoria is our queen, Jesus is the son of our god,” Baldwin growled.
“So, Jesus is Victoria’s son?”
“No, no Jesus is the son of god. God is not Victoria.”
“Well then, who is your god?” Celestia asked.
“God is our god.”
“God is a role. That’d be like Twilight saying I am Librarian.”
“I agree with the Princess,” Twilight chimed in.
“And what right do you have to call yourself a god?”
“This.” Celestia’s horn glowed and within a matter of seconds the noon sun was replaced with a midnight moon. Then a split second later this was reverse.
“Mother of god,” one of the red coats said.
“She wasn’t nearly as gifted,” Celestia said.
For his credit Baldwin managed to maintain a stiff upper lip. “So, I take it that you will not peacefully fall within the fold of the British Empire.”
Celestia nodded. “We will not.”
“Then I guess I have no choice but to issue a declaration of war between the British Empire and…”
“Equestria,” Twilight said.
“And Equestria.”
Celestia cocked an eyebrow. “Are you serious.” She sighed, gesturing to a guard. “Guards please arrest these…”
“Men,” Twilight said.
“These men.”
A few of the royal guard peeled off of crowd control and began to encircle the humans.
For their credit, the humans didn’t back down. Instead they formed their own circle, aiming their metallic staves outward.
Baldwin didn’t seem at all worried. Instead he drew a small metallic object from his belt, aiming it at one of the approaching guards.
“Fire!” Baldwin barked.
The staves erupted, each belching grey smoke.
Some of the guards cried out in pain and tumbled over.
The humans frantically loaded something into their staves.
“Fire,” he repeated.
Another belch of smoke followed by more guards collapsing. The remaining guards attempted to charge but were caught by a third volley.
“Ceasefire!” Baldwin screamed.
The smoke cleared and all around were guards upon the ground. None of them were dead, thankfully, but they weren’t getting up anytime soon.
Celestia examined the chaos and swallowed. “So…will you accept our surrender?”
Twilight looked over at her. “Wait, what?!”
Celestia leaned over and whispered, “don’t tell anyone but he just wiped out the entire Equestrian army.”
“There were like 40 guards!?”
“I am well aware of that fact.”
Baldwin smiled smugly. “Don’t worry Princess. I can promise you that life within the British Empire will be prosperous for your people.”
Twilight groaned as she awoke from her slumber, rubbing the sleep from her bleary eyes. The glowing red of her alarm clock told her that it was a little before 8 in the morning.
She slowly pulled herself out of bed and lumbered over to the window. Currently a heavy metallic blind covered it.
“Open,” she mumbled.
The blinds opened and a harsh light flooded in.
Twilight winced and looked away. The sunlight was always so much brighter above atmosphere.
“Tint,” she said.
The window darkened and the sunlight became increasingly bearable. Finally, after a few moments she could stare out at the vastness of space. Down below was the blue and green gem of planet Earth.
For the past 150 years she had been an ambassador to this planet. At first, it had been an ambassadorship to the British Empire. This was a post she served faithfully until 1910 when the British Empire became the British Earth Empire after the last despotic regime was incorporated into the union. Then in 1946 she became the Equestrian ambassador to the Britannic Galactic Empire when they reached for the stars. Now 61 years later, the Empire spanned 954 planets and included 56 races.
All of this was because of Equestria. The ability to control nature allowed the British to win a swift victory over dreary weather. This spawned a golden age of technological and cultural advancement. These advances when paired with the good and noble nature of the British people allowed for the virtual elimination of poverty, war, and hunger.
Modern day Equestria was a jewel of the British crown. Canterlot was like Ottawa, Canberra, Singapore, or Hong Kong. Cities that, while nowhere near as grand as the city of London, were still impressive monuments to Britain.
“Tea,” she said.
A mug materialized before her. She caught it with her magic and took a healthy sip. It tasted as perfect as ever.
She looked out upon the planet below. By this point she had lived there longer than Equestria. The only reason she was aboard the HMS Eternal Anglo was for diplomatic purposes. She’d been called to attend the opening of a British colony within the newly named Equestrian system.
It was good to be home.
An alarm in her room beeped. It then beeped again.
“Answer,” Twilight said.
A hologram appeared in the centre of her room.
Rarity smiled at her. “Good morning dear, did you enjoy your trip?”
She didn’t look a day over 30. Yet again, Twilight had to thank the British for developing a treatment for eternal life.
“I had a lot of fun. Though don’t tell anyone I said this, but the place was kind of backwater.”
“Well what did you expect? It’s a brand-new colony.”
“They didn’t even have a Tesco”
“Oh dear.”
“So, what do I have planned for today?”
“I’m afraid you have a jam-packed schedule. First you’re needed on the Isle of Victoria for a summit of British colonial ambassadors.”
The Isle of Victoria was located on the Victorian Sea. A sea which had been artificially formed without consequence from the unimportant lands directly south of the English Channel.
Rarity went on. “Then the mayor of Arnold wants to meet with you.”
“Where is Arnold again?”
“Oh, it’s a small city within the District of Columbia. They’re opening a Human-Equestrian friendship centre.”
“That’s pretty far. Do you think the super-sonic train will be quick enough?”
“I’m afraid not. You’ll have to use the teleportation network.”
Twilight nodded. “Anything else after that?”
“Hmmm well Elizabeth and Celestia are having tea at Westminster and they’ve both sent you an invitation. That’s at 4.”
“Oh, I’ll have to make time for that. It’s been ages since I’ve seen either of them.”
Rarity smiled. “And then afterwards, you can have dinner with me and the girls.”
“That sounds fantastic. What are we having?”
“They’ve opened up a new fish and chips place in Ponyville. This one uses ingredients from other planets.”
“Sounds tasty.”
An alarm flashed, this time silently. She was getting a call from the Prime Minister.
“Sorry Rarity, but I got to go. I’m getting a call from Jeremy.”
Author's Note
I am so sorry. I just wanted to meme the HiE genre super hard.
