Counter Strike : Equestrian Offensive

by AppleScoots

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Romance, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 2844

A group of three gamers are transported to Equestria during a game of CSGO Ranked. AppleScoots the AWPer, BlooDHunT the Rifler and RussianWizard the baiter. Join them as they try to survive the craziness in Equestria.

Three friends are playing Counter Strike Global Offensive trying to rank up in Competitive. One day during a game they get blinded by a flashbang. When their vision clears there in a different world where they live as the characters they played in the game. AppleScoots will have to use his reflexes and foresight to keep his friends alive from a distance, BlooDHunT will have to use his reactions and his gun skill to destroy any opponents and RussianWizard will have to use her skills of baiting to agro opponents and bring them into the line of fire of her friends. Join the three of them as they live in this new world.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-11 21:55:04 UTC

Arrival

"I swear to god Apple you better stop camping or I'm voting to kick, this is the tenth round in a row you've been at the back!" A man with a Serbian accent shouts.

"Who do you think is watching your dumbass's backs?!" An English teen shouts back.

"They're at the barrel!" A teen girl says.

"Which barrel? There's like, what? 8 barrels on this map. Which one is he at?" The English teen groans.

"The grey one!" The girl shouts in a panic.

"WHICH GREY BARREL!?" The English teen shouts.

"There's so many grey barrels." The Serbian man laughs.

"The one near the bombsite!" The girl panics.

"Which one? There's two." The English teen calmly asks.

"A site." The girl says as she just manages to escape through two large doors into in to long doors.

"I'm on my way." The English teen says as he turns around and heads towards the terrorist spawn. "Fucking Dust II...."

The girl runs towards the terrorist spawn equipping her knife to make her run faster.

"Here I come." She says as she runs past the AWPer.

The English teen crouches behind the small wall and aims his AWP towards Long Doors. Keeping his AWP trained onto the doorway The English teen then starts to do short strafes side to side making him harder to hit. The English teen sees just the shoulder of the terrorist before he clicks, firing a shot at the terrorist before he's even fully around the corner. The terrorist's body can be seen jerking backwards then falling to the ground.

*Counter Terrorists Win!*

"Still no god damn rank up!" The English teen growls.

"Because you fucking suck." The Serbian guy says.

"Definitely." The girl laughs.

"I do suck. But I should be a higher god damn rank then this!" The English teen groans.

"Whatever you say Apples." The Serbian guy sighs.

"I DO!" The English teen shouts.

The English AWPer then sighs and changes his steam name to *AppleScoots*.

"Thank god you're gonna stop calling yourself AppleScream." The Serbian guy laughs.

"It's better then being called BlooDHunT.... BlooDCunT." AppleScoots chuckles.

"BLOODCUNT?" The girl laughs.

"What's so funny about that? RussianWizard." AppleScoots and BlooDHunT ask.

"BlooDCunT! That's hilarious!" RussianWizard laughs.

"I'm surprised you've never heard that.... That's an old nickname...." AppleScoots chuckles.

"Yeah. It's quite old." BlooDHunT chuckles.

"You guys wanna play again?" RussianWizard asks.

"Sure I'm down for playing more." AppleScoots answers happily.

"Let's go then." BlooDHunT says.

"Mirage! Mirage! Mirage! Mirage!" AppleScoots chants.

"We're gonna get fucking Mirage again." BlooDHunT groans.

"Mirage! Mirage! Mirage! Mirage!" AppleScoots continues to chant.

The three ready up in the queue and wait for the map to be decided. The screen turns black and a second later a screen loads showing that the map selected is Mirage.

"FUCK YEAH!" AppleScoots shouts.

"Fucking damnit." BlooDHunT and RussianWizard groan.

"WOOOOOOO!" AppleScoots shouts. "Guys you ready to destroy the T's?"

"P90 SQUAT RUSH B!" BlooDHunT shouts excitedly.

"Let's get ready for this shit." AppleScoots says with a smirk.

-8 Rounds later-

"Yo NooBHunT, check tetris." AppleScoots says with a snigger.

"NooBHunT?" BlooDHunT chuckles.

"What's tetris?" RussianWizard asks.

"Fucking damnit...." AppleScoots groans. "I'm watching Palace."

"I've got T connector covered." BlooDHunT says.

"I'm going into the building with the ladder." RussianWIzard says happily.

"For the love of god don't! That's where I'm aiming!" AppleScoots panics.

"Flashbang out!" A terrorists voice shouts.

"God damnit." AppleScoots and BlooDHunT groan. "I'm blind."

"I can't see!" RussianWizard screams.

"Don't move." AppleScoots warns. "Okay my visions coming back guys check....."

"Dude.... This isn't tetris...."BlooDHunT mumbles.

"BlooDHunT.... I can see you.... What the fuck...." AppleScoots says with a look of pure shock on his face.

"AppleScoots.... You.... Fat.... Fuck...." BlooDHunT laughs.

"Fuck you serb." AppleScoots laughs back.

"Serb!" RussianWizard shout excitedly.

"Apple what's that on your back?" BlooDHunT asks.

AppleScoots reaches his hands behind his back and grabs at whatever's there. He lifts it over his head. What he sees amazes him. It's an AWP Fever Dream, Factory New and Stat-Track.

"It's my AWP.... It even has my stickers on it.... And the Name Tag.... How the fuck did this get here?" AppleScoots asks with a look of confusion. "You two. Check your backs."

BlooDHunT reaches behind him and grabs what's on his back. A Factory New M4A1-S Decimator Stat-Track.

"Dude.... It's my M4.... It's got the name tag as well." BlooDHunT mumbles.

RussianWizard reaches for her back and grabs what's there. A Stock M4A1-S.

"Guys.... I'm scared.... What's going on?" RussianWizard asks in fear.

"I don't know." AppleScoots says with a sigh as he puts his hand in his pocket.

His hand grazes something cold. He grabs it and pulls it out of his pocket.

"It's GentleShy...." AppleScoots says as a small smile appears on his face.

AppleScoots just stares at his knife. His prized possession. Named after his favourite character he ever made up. A Minimal Wear Case Hardened Stat-Track Butterfly Knife.

BlooDHunT then reaches into his pocket and he feels something cold as well. He pulls out his knife. A Factory New Doppler Phase 4 Flip Knife.

"This thing is worth more then my inventory combined.... Thanks again Apple." BlooDHunT says with a smile.

"You're my friend dude. You never had a knife before so I thought I'd give you one." AppleScoots smirk.

"Hey! Can you guys stop being gay for a second?" RussianWizard buts in. "Why do I have stock skins?"

"From what I can tell. It looks like we have the guns we had in the game.... This is fucking weird...." AppleScoots says as he scratches his chin.

"Let's look around. We need to find out where we are." BlooDHunT points out.

"Yeah. I say we go to that weird place in the distance. It look like a forest. There might be someone nearby." RussianWizard says.

"You need to stop panicking.... Is that a house?" AppleScoots asks as he points to a small cottage next to the forest.

"Dude that's a house! Nice spot!" BlooDHunT says happily.

"An AWPer's gotta have good eye sight." AppleScoots says with a smirk.

"Shut the fuck up." BlooDHunT groans.

"Let me go first. I'm probably the best person for this." AppleScoots says.

"What makes you say that?" BlooDHunT and RussianWizard ask.

"RussianWizard just got over panicking and BlooDHunT.... You'll just want to squat rush them...." AppleScoots says with a smirk.

"Fuck you...." BlooDHunT smirks.

The group then head towards the building AppleScoots leading the group, BlooDHunT in the middle and RussianWizard at the rear.

They arrive at the door. AppleScoots knocks on the door.

"Hey AppleScoots.... I just realised something that's upsetting the hell out of me right now...." BlooDHunT sighs.

"What's that?" AppleScoots asks.

"There's a fucking R8 Revolver strapped to your ass...." BlooDHunT groans.

"You checking me out there big boy?" AppleScoots says as he shakes his ass side to side.

"I just nearly threw up." BlooDHunT chuckles.

"Hahhahaahha!" RussianWizard starts to laugh hysterically.

"H-h-h-h-h-h...." A quiet voice mumbles.

"Ah! Hello...." AppleScoots starts.

"I recognise that.... You have porn of her don't you AppleScoots?" BlooDHunT asks.

"Yeah.... I have a few.... FlutterShy?" AppleScoots asks in confusion.

In front of them a hip height pony with a yellow coat and a pink mane blushes heavily.

"Hello? FlutterShy?" AppleScoots asks as he kneels down to her height.

"Eep!" The pony squeaks before slamming the door.

"Dude.... Where the FUCK are we?!" BlooDHunT shouts.

"I know exactly where we are.... We're in Equestria.... The question isn't where anymore.... It's how...." AppleScoots points out.

"You know Equestria right? You're a brony! You have to!" RussianWizard shouts in a panic.

"Yeah I know Equestria." AppleScoots says with a smirk.

He turn away from the cottage and points.

"That's where we need to go. The smartest pony in all of Equestria lives over there. She might know what to do." AppleScoots says with a smile.

"Finally. We know something." BlooDHunT smiles.

AppleScoots leads the group in the direction he pointed.

-A few minutes later-

The group arrive at the entrance to a town.

"AppleScoots.... Where ARE we?" BlooDHunT asks.

"Welcome to Ponyville my friend. Watch what you do and becareful of the residence. There's no guarantee that they'll be anything like the show." AppleScoots warns.

BlooDHunT and RussianWizard look at each other then draw their weapons.

"Don't shoot unless you NEED to. Got it?" AppleScoots asks as he grabs the revolver from his trousers.

"That would be smart." BlooDHunT mumbles.

AppleScoots takes a second to look at his revolver. A Field Tested Crimson Web Stat-Track.

"Let's go." AppleScoots says as he starts to walk down the central road.

Doors can be heard being slammed shut as the group walk through the streets.

"What are they doing?" RussianWizard asks.

"They're barricading themselves away. They tend to do that when they see something they don't know wandering the streets." AppleScoots explains.

"Oh...."

"Hello?" A quiet voice asks.

The group look towards the voice. A small yellow filly with a red mane and a large bow stands there with a nervous look on her face.

"Apple Bloom!" AppleScoots says excitedly.

"Now I KNOW you have porn of her!" BlooDHunT shouts.

"More then you know.... How are you Apple Bloom?" AppleScoots asks happily.

"Ah'm good thank ya. But ah gotta ask.... How do ya know who ah am?" Apple Bloom asks with a look of confusion.

"I think there's more important questions than that." AppleScoots chuckles.

"Okay.... What are ya? Ah've never seen something like you before." Apple Bloom asks.

"We're Humans. I know, I know. You've never seen humans before." AppleScoots says with a smile.

"How did ya know I was gonna say that?" Apple Bloom asks with a worried look on her face.

"How's the Crusading going?" AppleScoots asks with a smile.

"It's not going well.... We've tried nearly everything but it just doesn't work...." Apple Bloom answers with a sigh.

"Keep going at it. It'll take you a while but you'll get there eventually." AppleScoots says as he ruffles her mane.

"Get yer hooves off of mah Apple Bloom!" A voice shouts out.

"Ah! AppleJack." AppleScoots smirks as he turns to the voice to see an orange blur rushing him. "Ah fuck...."

The orange blur charges into him and into the building behind him.

"Holy *cough* fuck...." AppleScoots groans in pain.

"Ya weird freaks stay away from 'er now! Ya got it?!" The no longer an orange blur asks.

A hip height pony with an orange coat and a blonde mane stands readying another charge.

BlooDHunT and RussianWizard look at each other then aim their weapons at the pony.

"Don't!" AppleScoots shouts.

"Why not? She attacked!" BlooDHunT shouts.

"Don't kill any of them. Just trust me." AppleScoots pants. "AppleJack *cough* can we talk for a second?"

"Ya got one minute." AppleJack growls.

One down.... Two to go....

"Ah don't believe ya." AppleJack growls as she gets ready to kick AppleScoots.

"Go fuck yourself." AppleScoots groans.

AppleJack grits her teeth then bucks AppleScoots in his stomach sending him back into the same building behind him. A loud bang can be heard coming from the building as the building behind AppleJack has a hole the size of a bowling ball in it.

"Bitch.... You're lucky I decided to miss." AppleScoots can be heard growling as he steps out from the rubble with his AWP in his hand.

He cocks the bolt before aiming it at her head.

"BlooDHunT, RussianWizard.... We're out of here." AppleScoots growls as he aims back at the building behind AppleJack.

He fires one more time causing the wall to collapse. The ponies look at the group in fear. A mare with a blue mane with a blue and white mane steps forward.

AppleScoots shoots the ground in front of her leaving a bowling ball sized crater.

"Yes Lyra, we're humans now FUCK OFF!" AppleScoots growls then turns around and walks away.

BlooDHunT glares at the ponies before following AppleScoots. RussianWizard then followers behind shaking her head.

AppleScoots puts his AWP onto his back and pulls out his revolver.

"Wasn't that a bit over the top?" RussianWizard asks.

"I decided to miss. So no. It wasn't." AppleScoots replies. "So where do you guys wanna go?"

"You're the only person who has any idea where we are right now." BlooDHunT points out.

"I'd give it less then a minute before we're visited by royalty. What do you wanna do while we wait?"AppleScoots asks.

"You can wait it out with us if you'd like." A motherly voice says.

BlooDHunT and RussianWizard turn around and aim there weapons at her.

"Celestia..... Twilight and Spike were faster then I expected them to be." AppleScoots says with a smirk as he turns around.

"So.... You're the creatures that have been causing a stir in Ponyville?" Celestia asks.

"You can blame that on AppleJack. We tried to be peaceful. But of course her brashness got in the way and she attacked me. Twice as a matter of fact." AppleScoots replies.

"That does not give you the right to attack her back." Celestia says in a serious tone.

"Actually it does. It's a little thing that's known as 'Self-Defence'. It gives me the right to defend myself." AppleScoots says with a smile.

"We'll have to get a statement from AppleJack. For now you can come with us to the dungeons." Celestia says with a scowl.

"We'll be taking your weapons for now." A guard says at it walks towards the group.

"That won't be necessary." AppleScoots says.

"Give the guards your weapons." Celestia scowls.

"I said that won't be necessary." AppleJack growls.

"Maybe we should give them the weapons. I mean they don't look like they're gonna hurt us." BlooDHunT says to AppleScoots.

"No one is taking Apple Bloom, Scootaloo OR GentleShy away from me." AppleScoots growls.

The guard grabs the AWP from AppleScoots back and pulls it away from him. AppleScoots grabs his knife from his pocket and stabs it into the ponies neck. The guard tries to scream only to have his mouth slammed shut by a punch from AppleScoots. He then rips the knife out of the guards neck and stabs it back into him. Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. AppleScoots brings his knife behind him before slicing at the small amount of muscle that was holding the head to the body. AppleScoots let's go of the body causing it to drop to the floor, spurting blood onto the princess's forelegs.

"Dude! What the fuck?!" BlooDHunT panics.

"NO ONE! IS TAKING MY WEAPONS!" AppleScoots growls.

"Apple! This isn't you! What the hell is going on?" RussianWizard panics.

AppleScoots aims his revolver at Celestia's head.

"Tell me right now, why I shouldn't kill you?" AppleScoots asks.

"If I die then there would be no one to raise the sun and look after the citizens." Celestia says with an iron will.

AppleScoots pulls the trigger. A loud bang can be heard and a second later a body falls to the floor.

"One of you're guards just died. That makes two now. How many more lives are you gonna waste on trying to arrest me?" AppleScoots says with a smirk.

"I don't need to waste anymore." Celestia says as she smiles.

AppleScoots looks behind him and sees the elements of harmony behind him.

"Any last words?" Celestia asks.

AppleScoots nods.

"I'm tired of feeling useless, I got a shoe it fits and I'm made for this why shouldn't I wear it? I'm tired of being used, I got a lot to give and I'd die for it cause' I lie to live, I'm so tired, I say I'm a man but would I take a stand if I had the chance?" AppleScoots mumbles.

The elements of harmony power up. AppleScoots holds his weapons to his chest as a tear drops down his cheeks. The beam hits him and he starts to turn to stone. His feet are the first to turn as the rest slowly become encased.

"Goodbye my friends. It seems I've failed you both." AppleScoots says in a sad tone.

"Goodbye." RussianWizard and BlooDHunT wave.

AppleScoots face is now encased in stone, the only part that isn't encased is his eyes.

"Will you two be putting up an unnecessary fight like he did?" Celestia asks.

"No. We'll come quietly." BlooDHunT says as he puts his AK and his knife on the ground.

RussianWizard nods and puts her weapons on the ground too.

"Good. Now step over to me and I'll teleport us to the dungeons." She says in a motherly voice.

The two friends walk over to Celestia and are teleported away with Celestia. A few minutes later a group of clean up ponies arrive to clean up the mess.

"Wow. This guy was brutal as Tartarus. She wanted the statue to be in the Canterlot gardens right?" A male pony asks.

"Yeah. She wanted him to be across from the Discord statue." Another male pony says.

AppleScoots closes his eyes for a few seconds then reopens them and finds himself at the palace gardens.

*One down.... Two to go....*