"And that's how it is, you can put together the rest as of now." That was everything until this point in time, since the day I accepted the deal from Loki, became so powerful Gods were concerned about what I could do, all to end up down here...literal rock bottom, or crystal bottom given the new prison of mine. Although I did meet probably the most...chill person in this world. "You are...taking all of this too well."

"I just find it fascinating that after all you've been through that you can hold onto your humanity." Cadence, that princess who was replaced by Chrysalis, she looked as though a mountain what dropped on her head before being left to starve down here, the latter probably. But for the life of me, I can't grasp how she can honestly listen to me for this long

"I'm more surprised that you, of all people, are listening to me." Resting back against a crystal I tapped the mask over my face curiously. "This is by far the most important day of your life, ruined, yet you're listening to me...you're pretty fucking cool."

She smiled at that. "Why, thank you, Chris. To be honest I'm glad you seem to be faring a lot better than last time."

"When did we meet?" No seriously, when did I even make eye contact with her?

"I was present during that match between you and my aunts, back then you...well...I sensed little emotion coming from you, your heart was so twisted and...sinister, but now...I can't feel much, but I sense you're finding this amusing?" With a coy smile, I rested back, taking the mask off to throw it somewhere across the cave, not like I needed it anymore. Cadence then turned to me with a sad expression. "But I can feel sorrow."

"I lost the majority of my power, how do you think I feel?" She didn't look fazed by my tone, instead, she expected me to continue. "What else do you want me to say?"

"You do care about your friends? Swift and Spike?" I can say it, not sure how you convey it when you lack even emotions

"Sure, what's your point?" Sighing, Cadence moved to sit a few feet from me, moving her rugged hair from her eyes

"Tell me, if it were anyone else in the world, do you believe they would still be by your side as a friend, or would they see you as a monster?"

"Mmm, probably." In hindsight, I'd say those two must have nothing left to lose since being near me results in blood, death, or both. "Those two I'm surprised haven't tried to kill me or have and I just haven't noticed. One's now got the power to enslave worlds and the other can burn the leftovers if I wasn't so bored I probably let them kill me." Wait... "Forget that last part, I...okay, I'll level with you, I haven't eaten, slept or shat in months, all of which are making me regret my choices within the last hour since I got here."

"You're quite a surreal person, aren't you?" She was amused by this, well at least she isn't depressed anymore - hold on, am I...happy for someone other than myself? ...Wow, I'm a fucking asshole. "I can see how she's happy to be your friend."

"Tell me." I stopped listening to her after that point. "You know that gut feeling you have when you know you've fucked up, and its that twisted feeling that no matter how you shake it, try to drown out those thoughts, but it's not enough to rid yourself of how much you have to make up for? Well...I think it finally came back around."

"Chris..." No, this was...okay, guess it's about time I got my act together like Serafin said. Standing up to peer up at the roof of the cavern I kept my concentration on the castle above me. Closing my eyes for a moment I kept thinking of Swift, her appearance, her scent, emotions, everything...despite how creepy that sounds. "Gotcha!"

Opening my eyes I stared up at the ceiling and saw that among all the glimmering crystals, a tiny, blue flame flickered through the rock and it was moving slowly. Now with that sorted, I needed to find a way out.

"What are you doing?" Looking to Cadence, I pointed up with a thumb

"We're getting out of here and getting this train wreck of a wedding back on track, minus whatever bodies I pile up along the way." Grumbling, I sharpened my nails as I looked for a weak point within the crystals. "Without Blacklight my abilities are channeled through my stamina now but given my newly acquired hunger and tired state I can't rely on anything but what I have on me."

"Then what can we do?" We? Looking to my left, Cadence was moving to look around the cave like I was, searching for any sign of a weak point with me. "That creature has ruined my day, I swear when I get out of here I'll show her that love can be just as venomous!"

"Alright then, shall we?" I held out my arm, seeing the orange dial of the Verstrix pop up again. "Intangibility...Intangibility...Intangibility..." I slammed the dial down with a flash of orange. "Jibril!"

"Umm, Chris?" I looked to Cadence, then to myself and saw my smooth hands, and small pair of wings attached to my lower back, yellow robes, long pink hair...wait...Jibril?

"Ahh, tits!"

[Swift's POV]

"I swear, this is by far the dumbest stunt for him to pull!"

"Swift, please calm down."

"Calm down? Why would I be calm for an idiot you can't even rest without walking off to Celestia knows where!" I was beyond furious. "He does this every time. Nearly dies, rests for a few seconds, then boom, straight back into whatever calamity he finds himself in next!"

"You know, you two are awfully alike." I stopped mid-stride to look at Spike with a funny expression

"What?" He shrugged

"You both start ranting when you can't make sense of a situation or you result to being moody." I...don't have a retort for that, and Spike continued to look at me with a roll of his eyes. "Seriously, I think all of Ponyville can tell how similar you both are."

"I doubt that," I replied but he smiled anyway

"Sure, just don't say I didn't call it." Spike himself turned to sniff the air though, his eyes narrowed with confusion. "What is that?"

"What's what?" He pointed to the wall to my right, looking down as if the wall was missing or something. "A wall?"

"Something's under it, smells like...roses and rotten butter." I, in turn, looked to the wall again with piqued curiosity. "You don't think?"

"We might want to step back." Grabbing Spike, the two of us moved back a few inches, just in time to see something phase through the wall, the bodies were transparent, but soon shimmered into color, and it was a girl with wings on her back, but she looked like an angel with a halo above her hair. In her arms was -

"Princess Cadence!" Both myself and Spike gawked at the horrible state she was in, but she managed a weak smile

"I swear, if not for the ability I'd have shot myself." The girl spoke with a callous look in her eyes. "Alright, where the hell is the nearest kitchen!?"

"Uhh, that's the rose and rotten butter smell." Spike pointed from behind me, and then I noticed that small, orange circle on the girl's left shoulder

"Wait...Chris?" I felt a laugh snake up my throat. "W-what happened to you?"

"Don't you fucking you say a word." I tried to hold my laugh in, alongside Spike. "..."

"W-Why are you a-a girl~!?" Spike snickered as Cadence let out her own giggle

"They sure are good friends, Christina." I couldn't hold back my full outburst with Spike, the two of us holding our sides as we laughed, my earlier anger had completely trickled away at the sight of the depressed Chris, himself tearing up at our amusement

"...Despite the universe backhanding me, it is surprisingly comfortable without a dick."

Author's Note

I mean, the worst pain a man could feel is being kicked in the balls, without them it's completely painless. That is all.

Slendy

All it took was a bit of estrogen to make Chris cry, Women are scary.