It was a nice and very bright day, the sun was shining, Eli and spitfire were actually up, early in fact, shocker. They were in the living room, Spitfire was reading a book, and Eli was reading the paper with a bottle of booze in his hand, just generic booze. Spitfire asked.

"So, wanna do anything today?"

"Nah, I've had my fill of fast paced fighting, randomness and just downright weirdness, I'm good just sitting here, enjoying some time where it's just peaceful."

"I feel the same." replied Spitfire. They heard a knock at the door, "Oh no." Was all Spitfire could say.

"I'll get it, I just hope it's not too much." He got up and walked to the door, Eli opened it to see Fleetfoot and Soarin there, he asked, "Hey, what's up you two?"

Fleetfoot replied, "Well, we thought you two might be up for a drink?"

"Well, we'd love to, as long as something random doesn't happen, that would truly suck." He turned around and raised his voice, "Hey Spitfire, drinks with your mates?!" He shouted.

She shouted back, "Ya, just throw some pants on first!"

"Hey, I see you ponies naked, what's wrong with me wearing underwear and a shirt?!"

"Because.... Aw buck, just get some pants on, no pony wants to see those underpants. Now what's under them is a whole nother story." She flew closer to him and winked.

"You ponies are oddly sexual, or is that just you all?" He asked.

"It's normal, trust me, mares are like this." Replied Soarin tiredly. Eli laughed and walked away to get some pants. Spitfire flew to the door, Fleetfoot asked.

"So have you two been, you know?"

"Not much today, but last night, well we went all the way, so I'm doing really well, he was so, well... amazing."

"I need to get myself a human, they sound great." replied Fleetfoot.

"Are you horny?" asked Spitfire.

"Well...... Maybe I am." Soarin took a couple steps back and retorted.

"I'm glad another guy's coming, or this would be very weird." Before they could reply Eli came down the stairs wearing some camo pants.

"Alright, I'm ready." he said.

They walked out of the house and headed over to the bar nearby. Soarin asked, "So Eli, how have the other humans been?"

"Actually very well, they're adapting to the crystal mines very well, production has greatly increased, and now they're living ordinary lives, houses, families, jobs. I'm so happy humanity's been given a rare second chance."

"Wow, that's nice, soon you all might become equestrians, if Celestia and Luna pass it."

Eli laughed, "I'm sure they will, I can persuade them if I must, but I think they want us in the workforce."

"Probably, you've saved us quite a bit over these past days." said Fleetfoot.

"Ya, I'm pretty great aren't I?"

"Don't inflate his ego, it's already big enough as it is." said Spitfire jokingly.

"And yours isn't?" said Eli.

Soarin shouted. "DAMN!" Spitfire and Fleetfoot gave him the meanest glares anyone's ever seen, he ducked his head.

"Well Eli, are you fully living with Spitfire?" asked Fleetfoot.

"I'm... huh. Well Spitfire, am I?"

"I like to think we are, ya, we are." Eli smiled, "So, what have you two been doing?"

Soarin replied, "I was getting some practice in, and some reading of 'Ready Pony One', great book."

Fleetfoot laughed and replied, "That's a bunch of bull, he's been partying with me at every club and bar, though he did finish that book, that part's true; so what about you two?"

Eli retorted, "Well, we've been dealing with numerous zombies and kicking ass; followed by me pounding hers." Spitfire smacked his shoulder and said.

"We also went to dinner, don't forget that."

"How could I, it was emotional, and before you two ask, I don't wanna talk about it, it was just something I don't wanna say. Though I got the feeling I'll be called back there to babysit, which'll suck, and rock."

"How so?" asked Fleetfoot.

"Well, I have to babysit, which'll suck, but I'll be in a giant castle made out of crystals, and a full staff ready to help, pizza for days!" They entered the small bar and sat down in the very corner booth, Soarin asked.

"Is it true that you could shoot flames out of your fists?"

"Ya, well, it's a flamethrower integrated into the fists, just a lighter, and a can of hair spray, and I'll spit out flames like my mix tape." They all looked confused, "It's a human thing, just, never mind."

They all ordered beers, and Eli ordered a glass of soda, Spitfire asked, "Why aren't you getting a drink? You usually do."

"I'm not in the mood to get drunk, right now, I'm not having to face my demons, cannibal zombies, weird creatures that formed on my planet, and I wanna stay sober in case I get to do it some more with Spitfire here."

"Alright, so have you two decided on pet names yet?" asked Soarin.

"Well, um, that's a bit personal, but." Replied Spitfire, "Eli's already short, but have you given my pet name any thought? If not it's fine, but now that it's out in the open?"

Eli thought for a minute before replying, "Actually I have, Veru, its Latin for spit, in Spitfire."

She replied, "Actually... I like it, it's very unique, and my past coltfriends just called me fire, which was... alright. But ya, I like it."

"Aw, that's cute; I wish a colt would give me a nickname like that." said Fleetfoot. Just as the waitress brought over their drinks a scroll appeared out of nowhere and landed in front of Eli.

"Fuck." Was all Eli could say before he opened it, it read.

"Dear Eli, for once it isn't us who needs help, a dragon flew over here searching for you. The dragons need your help with a portal. Their leader and a couple other dragons flew in to check it out for diplomatic reasons. And they never came back, plus weird creatures that look dead, as he said. Came through, they slaughtered the zombies with absolute ease, but they've heard of what you've done against zombies and they request your help to get back their leader. This's big Eli, you help them and there might be a big peace treaty between us. Now go, fight and I'll give you something special.
Your boss, Celestia."

"What is it?" asked Spitfire.

"You ask, and you shall receive, I'm being summoned to the Dragonlands, sounds like an absolute blast. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a dragon lord to save." He got up and started to make his way out until Spitfire tapped his shoulder making him turn to her, she said.

"No, if you go, I wanna come to, I'm tired of waiting here, and wondering if you'll come back, you know I'd be able to handle myself."

"No, it's too dangerous; I've already lost my whole family, my home, my friends, and my child. If I lost you, I would probably get two grenades, run into the largest zombie cluster and blow myself up. I can't deal with the thought of losing you too."

"Eli, alright, what if I just stayed with the dragons and didn't follow you through the portal, I think I could handle the dragons with ease."

He sighed, "You won't let me go on my own will you?" She shook her head,“ fine, you can come and hangout, but if they do anything to you, tell me, I'll make sure there's nothing left of them to deal with." He grinned sinisterly.

"Alright, let me say goodbye to Soarin and Fleetfoot, then we'll be off." Spitfire flew back to the table, Eli walked out of the bar and to the house, and he needed some gear.

The trek there wasn't at all interesting, just boring, Eli got his standard armor on, he was checking his uzi when he heard the door open, Spitfire flew in and asked.

"They're outside, you ready?"

He cocked his pistol, followed by him holstering it, "Of course, I'm always ready, but I have to ask one last time, don't go, I don't want to lose you."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "I'm coming, and honestly, I'm very curious about dragons, Rainbow told me a bit from an adventure she had, and what one of her friends experienced. But that's it."

"Fine, let's go then." He walked past Spitfire and towards the chariot, they sat on the small bench inside the cart, Charger said.

"Here we go!" They flew off the cloud and towards the Dragonlands. Eli said.

"Oh ya, Spitfire, the left guard is Charger, the right is Sheath. Charger, Sheath, meet Spitfire."

Charger nodded and focused on the flight, but Sheath stared for a moment, he was star struck, "I know, I'm a Wonderbolt, but right now, I'm just a passenger. Can this thing go any faster?" Sheath started to worry, clearly showing on his bright red face, "I'm kidding, Eli's heavy, you know it took four of us to get him off the ground?"

She told them quite a bit about how they meet, basically chapters one through four. But that all ended as soon as they flew out of Equestria, and past the ocean, which took about two hours of flying.

Now that they were in the Dragonlands, everything started to get tense, most dragons hated ponies, but they were carrying something that they asked for, though it still got the nerves working.

From bright green grass, to rocks, lots and lots of them, followed by lava , a lot of it, Eli asked, "Please, no rocking, I may be tough, but I can't withstand lava." No pony argued, nor tried to rock it, they just kept going, carefully.

"ROOOAR!" Was heard just a little ways away, probably a scout, suddenly two dragons flew over to the chariot, they just froze in place, not wanting to piss off the dragons.

One of them was purple with blonde hair, the other was blue with a large mouth, the purple one asked. "So, are you the one we've heard about?" Eli nodded. "We expected more." Eli decided to slip on his gauntlets, they were heavy and he often disliked wearing them, "Hmm, that's a bit better."

"Says a purple dragon." The dragon laughed.

"Alright, I like your style, now follow us, Torch would like to speak with you." The chariot followed the dragons with a little space between just in case of a quick retreat. Eli said.

"Guys, I don't think we need to worry right now, I get the feeling they need me, badly." They flew over a large mountain and saw the massive throne with the former Dragonlord on it, Torch, the chariot landed a little ways away from the throne, Spitfire and Eli stepped off and stood right at the edge, one step further and it would be death.

Torch spoke in his loud voice, "Greetings, I'm the former Dragonlord, Torch; I have summoned you here for your help. Something has come up that needs your expertise."

"Whatever it is, tell me, I'll accept, I'm itching to punch some undead." Eli said hitting his fists against each other.

"Ah good, my daughter, the new Dragonlord, traveled through one of those portals, she had a small set of guards with her, but she insisted that they'd be light, for diplomatic reasons. It's been three days and she hasn't returned, just one of her guards, fatally wounded told me that they were ambushed and she was taken by strange creatures."

"Bandits!" Shouted Eli, "I fucking hate those guys, cannibalistic psychopaths with no fear of death, and pure hatred of anything that isn't them, I wish I could've made it in." They looked at him Torch asked.

"You weren't a kind of bandit, look at you."

"Ha! No, I was their prisoner for two months waiting for them to kill, and then eat me. I'm just a traveler, a bad-ass one, but still."

"Fine, but I need you to go through that portal and get my daughter and our leader back, you do that, and I'll give you a giant reward."

He laughed, "I don't need a reward, I get an oversized paycheck from the pony leaders for sitting on my ass, and I’ve only had to kill maybe a couple hundred of the zombies." All the dragons took a step back, "What?"

"We had some kind of creature come through the portal and well, it bit one of our dragons, we promptly killed the creature, but the dragon changed. What was that?" asked Torch.

"You're kidding? That's a zombie, it's an undead creature who does nothing more than feast upon those who aren't infected. That's how seven and a half billion people died in the most painful manner possible, trust me; people have gotten on their knees and begged for a quick kill after they were bit. Did you kill the infected dragon?"

Torch blinked a couple times before responding, "Of course not, we've been holding him, he’s still a dragon."

"No, he's not, the host dies after five minutes, then they turn, whoever that dragon was, it isn't around anymore, now it's trapped in a body it can't control, forced to kill those who it called friends. Let me kill it, or all of you will die, we tried containment too, but you can guess what happened."

Torch thought for a couple minutes, unsure of what to do, until, "You make good points, bring him here!" He shouted.

Two armored dragons were carrying a skinny blue dragon, about the size of a human, it had solid black eyes, much like the infected, it had parts of it's body falling off, rotting, the dragons carried him with a long rope as to not get bit themselves. They floated in the air, lettign the dragon zombie touch the ground, Eli said.

"Don't worry; this'll be very quick, and absolutely painless. Spitfire, look away." She closed her eyes and turned her to the side, Eli took his pistol out, he pointed it to the dragon's head, he was about five feet away. He looked dead into the dragon's eyes and then BANG, a bullet went through the dragon's head and it fell dead. He holstered the desert eagle.

His face showed no feeling, no remorse, no pain, and no sorrow. Torch said, "Wow, I'm not sure if I should thank you, or smash you right here, right now."

"Trust me Torch, if you let this dragon live, you all, and every creature on this planet, would die. I've done this many times; it doesn't even faze me anymore. Now where's that portal?"

He replied, "Its right over there, now I'm sending a dragon with you, when you find Ember, she would feel better seeing a fellow dragon, and she might not burn you to ash."

He threw his arms up and walked in a circle, "Really?! Now I have to babysit?! God fucking damn it! Fine, I'll deal." A red dragon landed right behind Eli, he turned around and threw a punch, hitting the dragon right in the face, there was a bit of blood when the punch hit, but the dragon went right to the ground, knocked out cold.

The other dragons gasped at that, "Wow, maybe you humans are tough, you knocked out a dragon, a strong one with just a single punch, I'm impressed little human."

"Thanks, but don't call me little, it's just, insulting."

"Ha! But that dragon you knocked out is the dragon that’ll be coming with you." Eli looked closer at the dragon, he was bright red, had a yellow under belly, pinkish freckles, yellow spikes, and yellow dragon eyes. He groaned, as soon as the dragon woke up he told him.

"Wow, for a dragon, you're shit. But stick close, and you might live to talk about what you see." He held a hand out to help the dragon, he swatted the hand away, he slowly got up, and “So, what's your name dragon? Or should I just call you punching bag?" All the dragons pretty much shouted.

"DAMN!"

"I like these dragons already." As soon as the dragon stood back up, he replied in a very mad and annoyed tone.

"I'm Garble, yours?"

"Eli, the one punch."

He laughed a bit, "Punch? What do you do, walk up to them and punch?"

Eli held up his giant gauntlet and smugly replied, "Pretty much, ya. I like to get nice and close, feeling them die makes me feel good." He nodded while smiling like the devil would. All the dragons took a step back.

Torch said, "I don't care how you two work it out, but get the Dragonlord, go. We don't have much time." Eli nodded and said.

"Alright Gurgle, get to the portal, I'll be there in a second."

"It's Garble!" He flew off pissed; Eli walked over to Spitfire and said.

"I hope to be gone for maybe a day; these dragons won't hurt you, because they know I’d take at least five of them with me if they lay one claw on you. I love you."

"Eli, fine, I'll miss you too. But if you die, I'll kick your corpse in the nards."

"Promise?" Eli got on one knee and they hugged for a good while, Eli got off and finished with, "Now it's time for me to kick some ass." He flipped his welders mask down and walked away, looking like a bad-ass.

The portal wasn't far off, maybe a hundred yards. But once he was there he saw multiple dragons fully armored, with spears and swords, Garble was standing in front of the portal impatiently.

"Had to say good bye to your bitch?" asked Garble. Eli got right in his face, making Garble take a step back.

"Say anything else like that about her and I'll rip your dick off and shove it down your throat, I've done it before."

"No you haven't." Eli took out his wallet and pulled out a slightly hidden thing of pictures, he flipped through them until he showed Garble the most sickening thing he's ever seen.

Eli was kneeling on his knee, holding the camera with his left hand, and his right holding up the head of a dead bandit, but what was in the bandit's mouth was sickening. It was a dick, but there was a few cords attaching the dick to the groin area, and the bandit looked alive. Garble flinched at the sight, "Don't fuck with me, I'll make you feel more pain than you'd ever think was possible."

Eli stepped past Garble and through the portal without a second thought; Garble followed him in a mere few seconds.

They came out the other side, back on Earth, they were in a small forest of sorts, all green, decently peaceful, but Garble looked at the sky and saw that it was gray, he asked.

"Is it supposed to look like that?"

"Ya, its rain, duh, just water, don't wet yourself over it." Eli said calmly walking away. Garble carefully followed Eli; Eli was going down a small, dirt path of what used to be some kind of trail. "Maybe we're in a park?" Eli said looking at a sign in the distance. They got closer.

When they got close enough the park sign was very different than what they expected, there was some rotting paper on the ground next to the sign, and on it was a dark red banner with a black skull and cross bone pattern in the middle, Eli said.

"Shit, if these bandits are still alive, then Ember's in a far worse situation than I thought, but I know these guys, they held me prisoner for a month. They’re cannibals, psychos who do nothing but pray to god, eat each other, drink, and kill. I would've joined them, but like I said, they took me and almost turned me into a meat soup. Stay quiet, keep an ear out, make noise, and you'll die."

Garble wanted to say something snarky, but with the thought Eli put in, he kept his mouth shut and quietly followed. Eli took out his Uzi and took point.

The walk was quiet, and not at all interesting, but after the couple of minutes Eli stopped, Garble followed suit and stopped as well, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I smell fresh bodies, very fresh, not like zombies." Eli cocked his gun and slowly made his way forward; he saw a small clearing with a small pool of blood right in front.

Eli squatted right behind a bush, he counted to three and jumped out, he looked and saw no bandits, but when he looked down he saw five armored dragons, all dead in pools of blood.

Eli looked closer and saw that there were bullet holes in them, he shouted, "Garbage get over here!"

"It's Garble." He saw the bodies, "What the? How did they."

"That's human weaponry, it appears the bandits are still hanging out around here, thought they'd leave by now. Do any of these bodies resemble the dragon lord?"

Garble looked at each body and replied, "N-No."

"Then they took her in, they usually leave the bodies and take the live ones with them, then they come back for the bodies, you know, fresh meat. But I remember this clearing..... I remember where their base is! Come on, there's still time to save her." Eli quickly stood up and brought his gun back up.

He turned left and started to walk, Garble almost didn't follow, but he knew that Torch would have his ass if he ran. Not to mention the names the other dragons would call him, so Garble followed knowing they were going to face the thing that killed those dragons.

They went up a mile or so, it was quiet, almost too quiet, way to quiet, and it made Eli all the more paranoid. Until, they got to the top of a very shaded hill, Eli looked behind a bush and saw a nice fort.

It was one of those large cabin villas, but it wasn't nice at all, it was coming apart, but reinforced with metal, and with multiple humans hanging around it, skulls and body parts were spread around, with blood soaking the ground, there seemed to be a recent zombie attack.

There was a low wall surrounding it, it was made out of logs, but where there were holes, it was reinforced with guess what, steel. There were guards walking on top of the wall and two standing in front of a gate. Each bandit wore his own clothing, but they all had helmets made out of human skulls.

Eli said, "Now that's where evil is lies, and I bet that's where Ember is. Looks like there are only thirty or so guards, maybe they had to do a supply run, wouldn't be surprised."

"How many would they send for a run?" asked Garble.

"I don't know, but around another thirty, they go right into zombie infested lands to get water, condiments, ammo, that stuff. The food, well quite frankly, they eat their own, and the prisoners. Stay here; call if you see a bunch of vehicles coming." Before Garble could reply, Eli cocked his desert eagle and stealthily ran out of the bush.

He ran past the guard's views, managing to get closer, a small hole in the fence gave him cover, he looked at the guards before closing his welding mask, he pointed the gun at the two bandits in front of the gate and fired two shots.

The first one went through the bandit's head, and the second one went right into the second bandit's throat. The bandit fell on his knees and grabbed his throat, shortly before falling face first into the ground. He twitched and moved for a couple more seconds before the life left his body.

Eli walked to the gate and saw a couple red lights flash on, signaling the rest of the bandits of an intruder. Eli holstered his eagle and looked at the barbed wire fence that was the door, it was locked with nothing more than a pad lock, and Eli quickly punched it, shattering the aged lock.

He use his right arm and slid the gate open with no effort, he looked to the ground and saw that the bandits dropped two AK47's, Eli grinned, he grabbed the riffles, holding one in each hand and the stocks under his armpits.

He saw the main door opened and maybe ten bandits were running out, Eli hid behind a small crate nearby; he waited for the bandits to come all the way out. He heard one of the bandits ask in a very country accent.

"Where are they?" Eli stood up and started to fire, with each bullet that came out, a bandit got hit; he just held down the triggers and shouted,

"I AM THE BIGGEST BADASS! WHOO!" Garble just watched, he knew how to kill, and he did it before, but he never seen a creature enjoy it to this degree.

As soon as the clips ran out he dropped the guns and looked, every bandit that came out was dead, not moving at all. Eli shouted, "Hey Gargoyle get over here!"

"It's Garble you ape!" When Garble got to the gate Eli had a gun to his face.

"Don't call me that again, or next time, I'll pull the trigger, understand?" He nodded, knowing what that gun could do in his hands. Eli turned around and walked to the door; he listened in and heard some whispering.

Eli looked at one of the bodies and saw a grenade; he picked it up, "What's that?" asked Garble.

"It's a grenade, pull the pin and it explodes; throw it to take out a large amount of troops. Like this." He pulled the pin, cracked the door open and threw it in, he heard one of the bandits say.

"Aw fuck me!" BOOM, he heard some screaming and waited a second. Then he kicked the door down with his desert eagle at the ready. There was bandit on the ground in front of him, crawling, Eli raised his foot and stomped the bandit's head right in, covering his whole foot and lower leg in blood.

Two bandits rose up; Eli fired a shot at the first bandit going right through the bandit's head. The second one tried to get his rifle, but Eli quickly faced him and fired, a bullet went through that bandit's head as well. Now Eli could look around his settings.

The lodge was made out of wood, but there were cages hanging up with skeletons and rotting bodies overhead, the ground had crates and various things they managed to steal, Eli looked to the left and saw a staircase that lead to the basement, "This way." He said going down the stone steps.

Garble followed closely, "So Gibberish, what happened to you, you seem like a little scared bitch, and you're a dragon."

"I'm not being a bitch, I'm just watching out for you."

"Oh bullshit, you're scared. Let's just finish this job so I can go home and get laid." They reached the bottom step; Eli raised his arm up signaling to stop.

The stairs ended with a corner, the hallway went to the left, so Eli hugged the wall and slightly moved his head so he could see the hallway.

A bit down the hall was a small steel bar gate, there were two bandits covering the entrance, and one behind the gate, he controlled it, all of them were heavily armed, plus the gate was open, they didn't seem to know what was going on, perfect.

Eli looked at Garble and smirked. Eli went into his bag and grabbed a grenade, Garble asked, "What's that?"

"Let me show you." Eli pulled the pin and held it for five seconds before throwing it towards the bandits. He covered his ears and then, BOOM. Eli got his desert eagle out and turned the corner, he saw that the gate was still open, and two of the guards were dead.

But the one behind the gate had a massive amount of shrapnel in him, he was dying, Eli started to walk towards the cells, Garble followed close, the only time Eli stopped was when the bandit grabbed his leg and pleaded to die.

Eli readied his eagle and fired one shot, right into the elbow, the bandit screamed out in pain, and Eli just walked past. Garble looked at the bandit and followed Eli, he asked.

"Why didn't you kill him, you beat him, we let least finish the kill."

"That's a bandit, those people don't deserve a quick death, they're one of the reasons I lost Theo." Garble wanted to ask who that was, but thought against it.

They went down a couple cells, they didn't have much, most were empty, but one had a skeleton with a huge amount of blood.

Once they got to the end they saw Ember, her wings were held with a rope around the waist, her mouth was closed with a cloth, and her arms and legs were chained.

She tried to speak, but the cloth was stopping her, Eli opened the cell and knelt in front of her, he flipped his welding mask up and Garble moved into her field of view.

He removed her gag and said, "I was sent by your father to get you, I'll get you out in just a sec." He pulled his eagle back out and shot the chains around her hands, he cut the rope around her wings and removed the gag, she stood up and replied.

"I didn’t need help, but thank you, wait, why'd you bring that?" Eli looked at Garble and back at her.

"Your dad said to, and I can tell we will have so much in common. Come on Giggle." He got up and pushed past him, she walked past him snickering.

On the way out she saw the bandit, he was still bleeding out, and Eli just pointed his eagle and fired a shot in his head without looking.

On the way out there weren't any guards, it seemed like they were out still. Eli said, "You two head out, I'll be right behind, just gotta do something."

"Alright, just make it quick." Said Ember, they walked out; Eli looked over and saw some cans of gas.

A couple seconds later Eli was coming out with a can of gas being poured out, he threw the can back into the house, there was a trail to the house, he lit a match and said, "Time for some fun." he threw the match down, the flames traveled across the gas and into the house.

The front room just lit up, burning right along, and since the house was made out of wood, it started to burn up, "Burn baby burn! Praise the holy lord! Hell ya!" he danced around the flames like it was a ritual.

Garble asked, "Are you crazy?!"

He walked over to Garble, he flipped the mask off and slammed his head on his, Garble fell down and Eli stumbled, "Ya, I'm a fucking lunatic! You can't live in this world without losing a bit of your humanity!" he got on his knees and shot his fists in the air, "Come get me!"

He looked back at the building and saw something walk out of it, it was a guy in samurai armor, it shined silver with a dragon like mask, he had a sword on his belt, guns scattered all around him, including a giant shotgun on his back, "You! I've waited a long time to see you; I thought you'd be here."

The samurai replied in a decently thick Japanese accent, "I've been looking for you, but here you are, disturbing my fucking nap." They were walking towards one another, taking off their bags, guns, everything except for the sword, and Eli's fists.

They stood about one foot away from one another, Eli said, "This has been overdo."

"Something we can agree on." They just stood in front of each other for a good minute, staring each other down, until something shocking happened. They hugged, seriously, he hugged the samurai.

They stayed like that for a couple weird seconds, until they pulled from each other, "Man I thought you died a while ago, got me sad."

"Nah man, I was simply teleported to another world full of mystic creatures, some of which are griffons, dragons, ponies, pegasi, unicorns, etc."

"Damn, I've always wanted to meet a pegasus! But sadly, I have to fight for my clan."

"I get it, don't worry, I'll only break a couple bones."

"Oh please Eli, I broke your leg."

"And I broke an arm, a rib, and both legs, need I go on?"

"Nah, I get it, now get ready." Eli got in a brawler stance, and the samurai got into a sword master stance.

Ember asked, loudly, "What's going on?! You two are friends?! What’s happening?"

Eli got out of his stance and replied, "Sorry, he's my oldest friend, we were neighbors from preschool to high school. But then we went to separate colleges. Though when the outbreak started, the bandits he worked for took me in, he guarded my cell and we touched bases; became friends and enemies since.

Well, I tried to breakout and they forced him to take me out, the only way he won was because I had a broken leg, and an arm."

"No, it's because I'm better than you in battle."

"Tell that to the four other fights we had anything to say now?" He was silent for a second, until he replied.

"You're an asshole."

"Ya, but it takes one to notice one. Either way, I broke out a second time and kicked his ass, but I spared him since he spared me last time. Now whenever we fight it's just to prove whose better, something we need to do."

Ember kind of understood and stepped back. Eli turned to the samurai and said, "So, you ready, Tsu?"

"Hell ya Eli, I'm gonna kick your ass." They each took a couple steps back, Tsu drew his sword, and Eli stood in a boxing stance.

They both shouted and charged each other. Tsu swiped his sword up, but Eli slammed his left fist down and blocked the sword, he threw a punch to Tsu's face, which he dodged.

Tsu raised his sword and tried to strike Eli down, but he got on one knee and raised his hands over his head in an X shape. The sword hit his metal gauntlets, "So, are there other humans over there?" asked Tsu, "Ya, about two hundred."

"Damn, that's awesome." Tsu pulled the sword back and swung it to Eli's left side, Eli used his left hand to grab the sword, and he used his right one and threw a punch at Tsu's face. He avoided it, he threw two more punches, but Tsu just avoided them, until Eli threw a punch to the gut.

It hit dead on, causing Tsu to stumble back a bit, Eli asked, "You remember Rue and Anna, from school?"

"Ya, wait, did they make it?"

"Not only did they make it, they're the leaders of their survivor group."

Tsu stood up straight, "Are they still together?"

"Not only that, they got married."

"Wow, I always thought they'd be good together." Tsu ran to Eli, with his sword raised, Eli smiled under his mask.

Tsu brought his sword down on Eli, but he simply stepped out of the way, the sword hit the ground and Eli grabbed the blade with his gauntlet. Tsu tried to pull the sword back, but Eli was holding it, they were pulling on it like two dogs for their toy.

But it was Eli who pulled the sword out of Tsu's hands, it was thrown on the ground and Eli socked Tsu right in the head, causing him to fall down.

Eli stood over the fallen foe and rushed his right fist down, but right before it would hit, he stopped, Tsu just stared at the fist, and Eli said, "Nice try, maybe later we could try to make it two to five?"

Eli's hand opened up and Tsu grabbed it, Eli pulled Tsu up and they shook hands. "You got lucky, my sword is slick."

"No man, you're just a butter finger."

"Screw off." Tsu grabbed his sword and put it back in its sheath, "So, since those assholes are finally dead, can I come with you to that land of mythical creatures?"

"No." Eli said turning around, there was a silence for a second before Eli turned back around and replied, "Of course you're welcome to come, I was messing with you man." He heard a whew from Tsu, "But I think we need to get moving, I got a mare waiting for me."

"Wait, you have a girlfriend?"

"Uh, ya, turns out that our scent just lights them up, humans are dynamite in bed. I'm for sure you could get a three way by waving those fingers."

"Where's that portal?" Was all he could ask.

"My man, right this way." Eli said as he finished getting his gear, Tsu picked up his stuff and followed, right as they got in front of Ember she said.

"You know, I see dragon in both of you, you humans might now be that different than dragons. I can truly respect the dragon in your species." She turned around and started too walked away. Leaving everyone else a bit confused.

"I don't get it." said Tsu.

Eli replied, "Ya, I'm kind of lost too." They followed Ember and Garble back to the portal.

It took a couple minutes, but they finally got within viewing distance of the portal. Eli said, "Now that's a beauty. Come on, let's go!" They started to move faster, but Tsu stopped, Eli turned around to see him raise his shotgun, he turned to the left and whispered.

"I hear movement." Eli got down on his hands and knees and got out his Uzi. He crawled next to him, "I'm not seeing anything Eli, but there's something here."

There was a slight rustle, "I hear it too, what do you think it is?"

,"Has to be an infected animal." Suddenly, from the bushed in front of them came a bandit, he fell on a tree, gripping on his arm, it was clearly bit, he was trying to cover it.

Eli put his Uzi away and got out his desert eagle, "I got this one." He aimed down the sights for a minute, he waited for the bandit to close his eyes and die, as soon as he did Eli took a shot, it went right through the bandit's head like it was nothing.

"Nice shot Eli."

"Thanks Tsu." He holstered his weapon and started to move again, Ember asked.

"What the heck was that?!"

"Look, you've seen the undead right?"

"Well, one, it took us awhile to kill it."

"It became infected because something infected bit that person, there's no cure, if you get bit, scratched, or anything involving it getting into your body. You're gonna turn into one. What I did was a mercy."

"Would you like it if I did that to you if you were bit?"

"Yes, I'd rather die than turn into a lifeless killing machine that feasts upon those it called friends, we gotta move, come on."

Ember wanted more answers, but thought against it by the fact he's insane. They were standing in front of the portal, Eli said, "Okay, Gibber Jabber you and Ember first."

"It's Garble." He mumbled going through the portal, Eli and Tsu looked at each other.

"Eli, is it really that good over there?"

Eli put his hand on his friend's shoulder and replied, "Its better, you'll be able to live a nice, peaceful life there, trust me. You'll love it." Tsu nodded and jumped through the portal, Eli took a deep breath in and just as he was about to walk through the portal he heard a twig snap.

He turned around, in a brawler stance, he looked around, but he didn't see anything, just green, but with a couple more rustles he looked over and saw a rather large bush move.

He slowly walked to the bush, ready for anything to strike if anything came out, he waited for a second. Until the bush was crushed, showing a smasher, a giant twelve foot zombie that is made from others, it had large hands and almost no head, "Fuck me." Was all Eli could say.

While in the Dragonlands, Tsu jumped into the lands, he looked around and said.

"Well, at least it's occupied." He saw a yellow pegasus fly in front of him, she looked mad.

"Where's Eli?!"

He jumped back a bit before replying, "He's right behind, he wanted to be dramatic.... I hope."

Suddenly the giant zombie charged through the portal, it stopped a bit away from Tsu and Spitfire, Tsu got out his shotgun, but he looked on the back and saw Eli on its back, he shouted.

"YA MOTHA FUCKA! I HAVE THE TOUGHEST CREATURE HERE! WHOO, RIDING A SMASHER BITCH, TOP THAT TSU!" Tsu stared at Eli, he had his fists inside the zombie's skull, moving his fist made the zombie move, he asked.

"Are you controlling that thing?"

"Ya, but hold on." He shoved both fists through the head, the zombie gave a loud cry and fell, Eli pulled his fists out of the zombie and jumped off. He landed right in front of them, and the smasher landed just behind him. "Hey babe, I missed ya."

She looked at the zombie for a couple second before flying right in front of Eli, he held her front hoofs and they kissed, "I've seen a lot weirder with you, not that it's a bad thing."

"Now that's the kind of talk I love." They looked into each other's eyes, until Tsu cleared his throat, loudly. They pulled away from each other, Eli said, "Oh sorry, Spitfire, this's one of my oldest friends, even before Rue and Anna, Tsu. We were neighbors though childhood. The rest, well, it'll be easier to tell over a drink."

Tsu removed his helmet and mask, he had a warrior's haircut, almost baron on the top, but a ponytail in the back, he had traditional Japanese looks, and brown eyes. "Finally, I've been waiting to take that fucking thing off."

Eli threw his mask off and replied, "Don't I know it. Hey Ember, where's the beer?"

"We haven't had beer in a long while, it's hard to steal, and most ponies guard it with dedication."

"Shiiit dog, I'll hook you up."

Spitfire asked, "How?"

,"Watch." He cleared his throat and everyone gave him a bit of distance, "Celestia you're a fat ass!" They looked around, but nothing. "Well then... Um, that usually wo-"

Celestia appeared right in front of Eli, hovering with a magic shield around her, eyes pure white, and a very pissed off look, she asked in the Canterlot voice, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"Look, we need beer, hook a brotha up will ya." She rolled her eyes and out of the sky kegs started to fall. They landed al around everyone, the dragons were cheering, but Tsu was covering his head with the helmet, and Spitfire was hiding a bit behind him, she knew what Celesita could do.

Eli was about to say something, but an extra-large keg fell from the sky and hit him right on the head, he wobbled a bit and said, "But Mom, I didn't do anything, don't beat me." He fell on the ground face first, Celestia's shield faded and her eyes turn back to normal, she said.

"Well that's better, next time it will be farther up, a lot farther up." She used some magic and sealed the small portal, "Now then, time for dinner." She teleported out leaving the dragons confused, Spitfire were on the ground laughing, tears were falling down her face.

Eli woke back up, he sat up with a jolt, he looked around and saw kegs all around, half or fully drunk dragons all around, and in front of him was Spitfire, Ember, and Tsu. He asked,

"W-what happened?"

Spitfire replied, "You pissed off one of them most powerful ponies on the planet."

"Eragh, fair enough, can someone get me a fucking beer?" Ember handed him a mug filled with booze, he gulped the whole thing down and said, "Another one, that wasn't enough."

She handed him another one, he gulped the whole thing down again, and the mug was twice the size of his hand, "Better, now I can get up." He slowly rose up, rubbing the top of his head.

"Hey Eli, this reminds me of when you hit the wall after Claire laughed at you. And those three pots hit your head; you had a rose stuck to your forehead."

Eli rubbed his forehead, "ya, then it was painful, now it's hysterical." He started to laugh.

Spitfire asked, "So, you've been out for a while now, and that gave Ember and me time to talk, we quite like each other, she's very interesting. And I think we've come to an agreement to how she can repay you."

"Nah, I don't need money, I get a fat check from Celestia, and I’m rolling in it now."

"Um, it isn't money," Said Ember, Eli leaned a bit to hear her better, she whispered, "I wanna make you an honorary dragon."

"Holy crap that's awesome! I'd be honored to be a dragon."

Ember laughed and replied, "Well I will, later, there's some things I need to deal with, so I gotta go, but next time, I'll make you a dragon."

She turned around and flew away, Eli said, "Well, I'm happy, but I feel like I need to get blackout drunk tonight."

Tsu walked up to Eli with a slightly angry face, "Hey man, where's my fucking pussy? You said it's all around."

Spitfire scanned the area for a moment and replied, "See that pink dragon over there?" Tsu nodded, "I heard she tries to do every creature on this planet, and wants to try out a human, go talk to her, she's a slut for that."

"Thanks." Tsu fast walked towards the dragon, Eli asked.

"I know Tsu, and I think she'll reject him, he could get pussy to save his life back on Eart- Oh of fucking course." They looked over and saw him making out with the dragon, "Wow, well, at least he finally made it to first base. I need a drink."

They walked away from the closing portal and walked over a small pile of kegs, there were maybe twelve kegs stacked up with a couple dragons passed out around it, and two sitting around, drunk out of their skulls. Spitfire told him.

"Eli, I need to check up on the bolts, make sure they're okay, I'll be back in a minute." Before he could say anything she zoomed faster than a jet.

"Damn, she's fast in the sky, and faster in bed." He took a cup and filled it with booze, he saw a rather large rock formation and decided to lean against it, and he pulled out his wallet and stared at the picture of his son.

He took a sip and smiled, but he heard something land behind him, something big, he turned around to see Torch, his head was really low, near Eli's level.

"Hey there, what can I do ya for Torch?"

He replied, "I wanted to thank you for saving my daughter, I don't know what I'd do without her. But I'm curious, what's in that picture?"

Eli sighed and handed the picture to Torch, he carefully grabbed it with his claw and brought it close to his face, "Who is the child?"

"My son, Theodore, or just Theo."

"Heh, he's not a dragon, but he is a cute kid, I take it he's back where you live?" Eli lowered his head and a tear fell down his cheek.

"He was a brilliant child, but he was no warrior, in and well, he’s no longer with us."

Torch handed the picture back, Eli took the picture and hugged it, "I'm sorry for your loss, I had no idea. But thank you for keeping my daughter alive. And I wouldn't know what to do if I lost Ember."

"I'll tell you, go around, drink all the booze around and pass out every night, then kill every zombie slash bandit you see. After you lose that, you stop caring about life, it's why I go in with metal fists, and I never intend to come back. But for some reason, they're just too shitty to kill me."

"Heh, I like you, you have the heart of a true dragon, I bid you farewell."

,"Thanks, see you." Torch flew away leaving Eli to wipe his tears, he finished his booze and decided to look up at the night sky, and the stars were twinkling; making the night sky dance.

He heard someone land next to him, from her voice he knew it was Spitfire, “Hey honey, what’s going on?”

He sighed and replied, “Just looking up at the sky.”

She curled up next to him and asked, “Weird, but honestly with you, what isn’t?” He chuckled.

“Spitfire.” she looked up at him, “I love you.” She kissed his cheek and replied.

“I love you too.”

Author's Note

I'm sorry for the long delay, honestly I'm starting to lose my love of writing, doing a lot of college work is really tought, and managing a YT channel, but I've finally posted this. The story is not done, I still need to write the end, but I don't know if I really can anymore, but there will be a couple more chapters later. So again, sorry for the delay, loss of writing love and overly busy schedule.

Also, originally they were going to have a threesome, so let me know which would've been better, I like this one better, slower on the relationship.