The Hanging Hat

by Snowybee

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Romance
Length: 6087

Applejack meets the pale pony in the afterworld, who offers her a second chance. Is she worthy? And who is the judge?

Applejack's life is coming to an end. On the other side, she receives a visit from the pale pony who is eager to know, before she goes —

What does it mean to be Applejack?

An entry.

Thank you Mikesnipe, Alex_, RK Striker and Octy

Published 2017-08-30 00:00:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-30 00:00:11 UTC

By the Door

Rainbow’s frantic nudges and tearful pleas woke Applejack up.

The vivid wash of dream color faded when her eyes opened. Dull misty air made for an aloof greeting from this place. Grass and dew provided the next cool jolt of wakefulness as she rolled over.

She wasn't quite sure what her forelegs were. Young? Old? They had been more gangly than she liked when she was in the bed. Patchy from countless IVs, hooves chewed up in nightly anxiety. Gross legs, worn with little to show for but more days of misery.

The legs laying over one another right now — her own — were more to her liking.

Staring at her own roots, she noticed trees not too far from her. Dark and indescript, their leaves were no different. The leaves imitated a watercolor painting, unreal but still just as pleasing.

Hoofsteps. She heard them, but Applejack felt no need to be on guard anymore.

“A roll in the grass,” said the stranger. “At one point in history, that was the first recreational activity most earth ponies experienced in life.”

It would have been rude to roll up and cry then. Though she dearly wanted to rest her throbbing head, Applejack looked up. “Howdy.”

The silver mare trotted with an easy sway. Her long mane almost dragged in the dirt, but that only made clear how she glowed untarnished. Applejack would have thought the mare to be ‘the pale pony a-comin’.

But instead of the touch of death, she offered a helping hoof. Respectful distance and a smile. “Call me Silver Swirl. I'm just here because I have dearly wanted to meet one of you.”

Applejack’s face twisted like something rotten was in the air. Applejack rose on her own. Her legs had almost forgotten how to stand, and she nearly stumbled over nothing. Silver Swirl made no move to aid Applejack then.

Legs wobbling from uncertainty rather than weakness, Applejack stood her ground before the stranger. “Not very considerate of y’all, letting an old mare pick herself up alone.”

The pale pony’s nose wrinkled. “You're far from old right now, Applejack, at least in the flesh. And forgive me for inferring you'd spurn the help. Damned if I do or don't! That's an old hag for you.”

Applejack snorted. She couldn't be dragged down to this one's level with petty insults. The circumstances intrigued her over this mare. Spinning in place, she drank in the placid paintbrush forest.

“Just like I thought it'd be,” Applejack breathed.

“This place is always what you picture,” Silver Swirl said. The shining mare slithered like a snake before Applejack, wearing that reptilian smile she'd seen on the insufferable sort of aristocrat. “If not this... quaint country living centerfold, then an ice cream castle to the pink one. A beautiful plain bordering the greatest of forests for the kind one. A formless kingdom of light to befit the princess.”

Sightseeing couldn’t distract Applejack so easily. “One of us, huh?” she pressed. “You mean a Bearer. Don't tell me you're some sort of villain who'd been waiting on one of us to kick the bucket. Can’t you give it a rest? I already gave mine up.”

Applejack happened to blink. When her eyelids lifted, they painted a brand new scene. An endless hallway, the cobbled memory of Canterlot Palace. Busts of herself and the others lined it as eternal guardians cast in stone while the other alicorns watched with glyphic eyes.

She braced herself for some wicked move that never came. A ways down the hall, Silver Swirl paced between the statues, brushing their faces with a hoof. Yearning in how she lingered. Applejack marched up to her.

“Spit it out. You, the pale pony? I doubt that. Or are you some conniving, no good freak looking to threaten my friends?”

Draping herself on a bust of Rarity, Silver put on a pout that her posh friend could’ve appreciated. “You're on death's doorstep, lovely Applejack. And here you are, worrying about the Pale Pony plotting to pilfer your friends. I knew you lot were characters, but I'm shocked at how well I think I know you already.”

Before Applejack could get a word in, the statue of Rarity piped up, her eyes chiseled shut and nose upturned yet. “Darling, please do relax. If they make your grave on the farm, I'd truly fear that the morning bell would bring you back to life the next day!”

It definitely had her voice. Rarity had a hidden appreciation for gallows humor as well. She'd confided it after a personal brush with death, brought about by her crushing work ethic. Whatever stone the bust was made of would have cracked before Rarity under the kind of pressure that mare could take.

The moment she’d thought that, Silver’s hold reduced the statue to dust, as if repulsed by the pale pony’s touch. The rest of the states crumbled in domino effect soon after.

Applejack watched with hard eyes. “I'm no fool. You can't shake me with cheap sleight of hoof.”

The pale mare laughed in her face. “Please. I feel you're being far too defensive for a mare in your position. You haven't even heard me out yet.”

“Talk, then. You must love hearing your own voice.”

Her smile disappeared. Silver Swirl veiled her face with a foreleg. “A second chance. I'm offering you the rare opportunity to earn one.”

The world became silent. Her ears rang. Applejack stepped closer to Silver Swirl, mouth agape. “A se-second chance?”

“Precisely. Provided you prove yourself to me.”

Empty words. She bared her teeth in rage. “I don't want no part in any games.”

Blink. The world had changed back to the homely little forest. With magic, Silver picked a flower made of pastel squiggles and pressed it to her nose. “As I said. This place is exactly what you expect of it. If you desire games, then games it will be. If you desire ceremony and gravitas, then we can forego games. The offer remains the same either way.”

A second chance. What would she come back to? Rainbow, weeping. Breathless and horrified. Hardly able to handle Applejack fading away one time. But her time would have to come again anyways. And again, she'd put her wife through it.

Intense study of the ground between her hooves hid the next shift of scenery. Applejack returned from the depths of thought to see blue skies, where golden brick roads twisted into the distance, something from an E.C. Thresher work.

Applejack hurried to the brink of the road she found herself in. The paths twirled upside down not even a few lengths in. She hesitated. “Silver Swirl! Show yourself!”

Show she did. From the side, Applejack heard and saw a great, taut chain descend from the entirely wrong direction. Her head nearly spun on its shoulders, but she managed to get it together. On the end hung a tremendous hook, not unlike an industrial crane, outfitted with diamond studs as if Rarity got her hooves on it. In it, Silver Swirl sat.

She waved down… or from nine o’clock, at Applejack. “Néigh hóu! I believe my ham-hoofed metaphor is now called for.”

Applejack crept closer, curious. Her hoof batted at the chain, which wobbled as she’d expect, thought she’d never seen it from this angle. Squinting, she picked her words with care. “‘One of us.’ I suppose there’s a blurry line between flattery and menace. Mind telling me why you’re here? I was ready to move on before you showed up.”

It almost tickled her to see Silver get impatient here in the Afterworld. The mare patted the space to her side on the hook with insistence. “You ask far too many questions that I was going to answer anyways! Please, don’t be a stranger.”

With a shrug, Applejack obliged. The simple gesture of sitting down sideways to have her mane and tail fall in a new direction would have driven Twilight nuts, but Applejack hardly felt bothered. Compared to the strange companion whom she put as much space as she could between, it was nothing. With a tug from its mistress, the chain began to rise.

On the golden paths, Applejack could see the faintest shadows of ponies walking along. Some burdened with hefty saddlebags, some with beasts and even rocks tied around their chests. Most trotted brisk and unburdened.

“Who are they?” Applejack tried. “They also dead? Like… like me?”

“Whether you’re alive or dead is a question for you to answer,” said Silver Swirl. “And that’s not some philosophical gibberish. If you have to ask if you’re one way or the other, you’re probably not.”

Her ears perked. “So I’m still alive? Is that what you meant by second chance?”

“Indeed. You’re old and ailing, but you have a lot of fight in you. While a second chance would not buy much more than a moment, it’s still potentially the most important moment you’ll ever live.”

Applejack felt more at ease. “I see. So I gotta be tested for it. If I were calling the shots here, that’s what I’d do.”

Silver’s eyes widened with genuine interest. “Oh? Do go on.”

Her ghostly heart skipped a beat. Go on? She’d never thought that far into it. “W-well, life is once and never again. When good ponies have their number come up, they get to go on to Elysium. Bad ponies have to be tested.”

“And do you think you’re a bad pony?”

Applejack winced. “I ain’t perfect. That’s the thing that momma said. No one’s perfect. We all got a lot to think about once we move on.”

“But did she believe that she’d be tested?” Silver watched her, a mare already knowing the answers.

Applejack gulped. “No. She said all ponies get to go to paradise.”

They approached a cloud overhead. The chain raised them into the misty mass, leaving them in the dark. Applejack hugged the crane’s hook for support when the turbulence came.

She sat up again and straightened her hat. Instead of fog and blackness, she saw her mother’s bedroom.

The crane lingered in the corner, much further away from the scene than the size of the room would have made possible. At the foot of the bed, a little filly sat with her face buried in the twisted sheets. Her granny lovingly stroked her back. Pained brow but lips set, her granny was a strong and empathetic sort.

Something troubled Granny Smith, however. “Applejack, precious. It’s okay. Your momma said she wanted you to have this room.”

And Applejack, who held to the tucked sheets with her teeth and hooves, sobbed. The filly couldn’t speak.

A little act of giving had brought her to this, and Granny Smith had a suspicion.

Silver Swirl chuckled. “I do recall this. It was but a passing thought from your mother, but Granny Smith took everything to heart.”

Applejack nodded. Her chest felt as hollow. “I remember, when it happened. I remember that I didn’t cry or even react much. I had dinner, and Mac wasn’t at the table. He was outside bucking trees until his hooves bled. I said, ‘Granny, he’s sure a hard worker,’ right before getting to bed. Then the next morning, I went to the living room. And I saw papa’s hat still hanging there.”

“And your mother?”

She smiled. The pain had long since faded. “She got real sick after papa went. T’was rotten luck, but for the longest time I thought she was laid low by grief. She got terribly ill, and she wasn’t herself. We all watched while she died. I spent months preparing for it, but I still cried when the doctor broke the news. Was like he came in to tell us about the clouds tumbling right outside our door. We all knew. We just couldn’t hide from it when he did.

“And about a week later, me and Mac couldn’t share our bedroom no more. He remembered how I was when Pa died, and he never got to see me cry. He was just overwhelmed, and he said some hurtful things. I already believed in what he said before he said it. I felt like the worst pony on the planet. I, me, watched momma die. Me, Applejack. I had to be the best pony I could be, like pa wanted. And little me thought I had to be able to work miracles.

“Granny said momma wanted me to have her room, cuz me and Mac were getting awful big. Hard to bunk. All I could think when Granny told me? I don’t deserve this. Still don’t. I still call it momma’s room. I remember when Apple Bloom outgrew her crib, I gave it to her. She didn’t know momma, didn’t let her down. She slept like a baby where I tossed and turned like I were dying every night.”

Little Applejack lost her grip. She expected to slide to the floor, but Granny caught her, held her close. She remembered trying to disappear in Granny’s fur in that hug. And so, the fog obscured the vision until it once more was a memory.

The crane rose back into the golden and blue skies of the Afterworld. Silver grimaced in deep thought. “So you hold only yourself to this sort of thing. The fated test? Only you deserved it.”

Applejack tapped her chin. “Hmm. Nah. I did think it was only me until I met some of the villains me and the girls fought. But I never once believed I was good enough to just waltz into Elysium. I’m a mare haunted by ‘what if’. I know I can be better. Always.”

“So vivacious,” Silver said with a grin. “And here you were, ready to lay down and die.”

Her eyes widened. She had a feeling the mare was a snake. But then, could she really be blamed? Applejack became sullen. “I guess I ain’t wanting to die yet. Wastin’ away, preparing myself for the end. Reminiscing with Rainbow. Neither of us wanting to even think about me dying. All that nonsense and I still can't... Relax. Every time I try to find them last words, it's always some eulogy with no heart in it. Silly, huh? I’d be the first of the girls to go if I went now. Ugh, I don’t even wanna think about it like a contest.”

“It’d be just like you to take the dubious honor of first.”

Applejack sneered. “Celestia knows the other girls would call ‘last’ the more dubious honor. If I could live forever, I’d make sure Twilight don’t gotta deal with that. But I can’t. I’m letting them all down either way. There’s nothing an extra moment or two could do to clear me of this kinda sin.”

An Apple couldn’t be called ‘slow’. Just as she suspected, another cloud did they near.

Silver titered. “You amuse me, Applejack. Dying, a sin? Mayflies surely are the more villainous race than the black changeling!”

“Shut it,” Applejack growled. “Only my wife gets to laugh at me like that.”

“I respect this.” Silver grabbed hold of a luxurious lock of her mane and patted it lovingly. Only then did Applejack notice the tiny star beret in it. “Love is such a strong thing. It’d be going amiss to not speak of her.”

A snort was her reply. “I’d gladly change to subject to her. Rainbow Dash? She’s a mare who could waltz into Elysium. She’s the closest to perfect you can get.”

The cloud engulfed them as if it was waiting for her to say the name.

Growling thunder graced their ears. Rumbling heavenly light, pegasus might. Dark and beautiful storm clouds surrounded them for miles, and between them a dark figure raced around, the conductor of this symphony.

“The embodiment of pegasus majesty,” Silver Swirl whispered over the cacophony. “A force of nature made into a single mare, given the heart of a loving hero. In far away lands that do not have the luxury of having her in the flesh often speak of her as some sort of spirit, perhaps even an alicorn who was too proud to bear a horn.”

The spectacle could leave even Celestia and Luna breathless. The crown jewel of the Wonderbolts, thousands had been captivated by her sheer ability. The dark figure, Rainbow Dash, felt so far away from everything in these moments.

But to Applejack, this was simple fact. Reality. Seeing her beautiful wife at work made the world right. She toed the line of taking it for granted at times, but an earth pony respected the earth they walked all over day in, day out. Applejack loved Rainbow Dash, the mare she herself saw day in, day out. Kissed every morning, every evening and countless times in between.

Rainbow Dash could not have been more real to her.

In a mighty blast of light, the clouds disappeared.

Shouts, anguished cries. Rain battered the walls from every direction.

High above, Applejack and Silver Swirl watched the doctors and militia scurry below between impromptu beds.

Her blood boiled. “Chrysalis.”

Silver Swirl sighed. “That one was a handful. Was this not her last hurrah?”

Applejack shook her head. “She died like the disgusting insect she was. I know it ain’t my place to ask, but please tell me she’s burning in Tartarus.”

Her eyes went cold. “You’re right. It’s not your place.”

A pile of bodies burst in through the town hall doors.

“She’s dead!”

“They’re retreating!”

“Quick, send to Canterlot!”

Urgent cries and bellows of victory. A whole cocktail of emotions and little idea what to do next. Applejack could empathize, because that’s exactly what she felt—

When medics rushed through, carrying Rainbow Dash and others on stretchers.

Her past self, eyes wrinkled and sunken even further from the chaos and suffering, emerged from the door of the offices. She wasn’t sure what she saw at first. Wild-eyed medics, horrified onlookers. The horror had been present before, but now something deepened it.

They had laid their hero down in a tent, hidden away from prying eyes. Countless ponies, some not even well enough to stand, crowded around it. Applejack lowered her hat as she weaved through the crowd. Strong as she was, she didn’t want to lay eye for long on how tattered and bloody her kin were.

The nurses guarding the tent knew her and let her by without a word. Applejack’s mind was focused. She hardly noticed the anxious crowd nearly slip through the crack they’d made for her, all the shouts and curses to follow.

Inside was a mess. Buckets of black branches, picked from the manes and coats of the ponies rescued and bodies recovered. The witch had commanded an unliving hoard cultivated from the swamps. Such feeble things stood no chance against her kin, though. Every life lost, another curse upon the witch’s name — every life lost, an eternity longer the heroes would be remembered.

So she told herself. Grim as it was, she had eyes only for her pegasus. She scanned the felled ponies, doing her best to prepare.

Then she saw a pegasus covered in ash, laying on her side. She convulsed from pain, and Applejack saw a burnt nub on her shoulder.

Yet, Rainbow Dash kept a stony silence. Applejack hurried around, nearly tripping on cables and tools. Those fearsome eyes, her wife’s eyes, looked up to her. Bright. Alive.

“A-Applejack,” she rasped. “It’s over. Third be-bed. Is she—”

The sight of her love made her terribly ill. She clutched the bed frame best she could. “Rainbow Dash, look at you. Your wing. It’s—”

“Gone.” Her voice wavered ever so slightly. She shook her head, teeth bared, then glared. “Is she alive, Applejack? I-I tried, I really did. She has to be.”

Applejack searched with her eyes. All the ponies were eerily still, like Rainbow. Pain stabbed the backs of her eyes. Nurses ushered her aside. But she still wasn't cognizant.

Third. Two sides. She paced between the four in the middle. Light steps set bombs off in her ears. Earth ponies, mare and stallion. They breathed, small and quiet. Behind her. A unicorn, biting the handles of stray scissors and whimpering. Blackness ruled her hind leg. A nurse — Redheart, she remembered — rushed in the way.

That left only one other.

The covers. Were they pulled over? She dared to step closer.

And something pulled her back.

Far. She saw herself, saw all the ponies, Rainbow Dash sitting up and stricken, all of it — she saw it fade as it was all ripped away. Where the picture left blackness in its wake, the thundering clouds from before filled everything in.

Sudden consciousness hit like a blow to the face. Applejack reeled back and nearly fell from the perch. Only then did she notice the locks of white mane wrapped around her four legs, pulling tight and biting into her skin as she dangled over the edge. Her joints screamed in pain, head tossing back from the jolt. Cast to the cutting winds, Pa’s stetson drifted away.

Fearful, frantic, Applejack looked up to Silver Swirl.

The pale pony bore into her.

“Perhaps you’re not so worthy!” she shouted. “Averting your gaze like a coward!”

Applejack’s ears began to work again, and she heard the angry tempest lashing out. Before, in Rainbow’s hooves, it was mere spectacle.

Silver Swirl craned her head to bear into Applejack, face to face. The locks of mane hid her neck and body like a robe. Her once normal body now stood, lanky and crooked and unnatural.

Exactly like the witch that almost took everything away.

The winds tossed the chain holding them up around, rendering the skies above Silver Swirl a shaken and sickening panorama.

“S-Silver! Let me up!” Applejack grit her teeth. The splitting headache from the memory lingered, each throb sending her sight into a blur.

“Then tell me!” Magic flared around Silver’s eyes like fire. “Tell me, dear Applejack! What are you without her?! This mare truly weeps, not for herself, but for the life of another! This mare lived to defend all that was dear to her! What have you done, you sniveling child? Trapped in her awe at the heart and conviction of others!”

Her mane loosened up on Applejacks limbs. She had the nerve to desperately cling to the pale pony.

Silver Swirl sneered.

Applejack dropped into the sea of cloud below, unable to scream.

***

A young nurse tapped at a keyboard down the hall.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash sat beside each other in the cubbyhole waiting room beyond the reception.

Burnt flesh stung Applejack’s nose. It osmosed through the sling and bandages for the stump. Rainbow had made sure her wife sat to her left, as if to cover her now weakened side.

The newspaper on the lone table had Twilight Sparkle pasted on the front page, exchanging magical blows with Chrysalis, the twisted demon. It'd been a few days. The news had been good from the doctors.

Rainbow sat herself in the waiting room afterwards. Applejack sat down with her and didn’t ask why they were there.

And for the first time since then, Rainbow said something.

“I'm thirsty.”

Applejack didn’t even notice at first. The voice that she so dearly wanted to hear played on loop in her head, saying the things Rainbow would say if she were okay.

Terrible pain clutched the pegasus’s body. For Applejack’s attention, lifting a single leg bore a cost too great, and she felt a little slighted anyways.

Rainbow Dash chomped her wife’s ear.

Something like a yelp came from Applejack’s mouth, like she’d been swallowing spittle just when it happened. She held her chest and coughed as she glared at Rainbow. Not one to forget herself, she bit back a curse. “R-Rainbow? Did you need something?”

Petty, but Rainbow smirked a smidge at her handiwork. “Water. Gimme.”

Rainbow, you did the best you could.

“Alrighty.”

Applejack got up. A couple of paces, and she heard Rainbow shiver ever so slightly. The poor state of her body must have thrown her off, seeing as she failed to hide it.

Rainbow jumped when she caught Applejack staring. “G-go, get me water.”

Please. Y’all can tell me whatever’s on your mind. We’ve been through this.

“Sorry. Can’t blame me for being paranoid.”

“Fine. Just go on, ‘git.”

Reluctant, Applejack started down the hall. Rainbow was a mayfly in her mind right now. Fearing that to look away would mean she’d vanish.

She’s stable, Mrs. Applejack. That mare of yours may as well be made of pure alicorn, looking at this file.

That invasion put a lot of us through hell, Doctor. I’d… I’d hate to have been one of them.

The little paper cup in her hoof rocked as the water filled it.

We owe a lot, Miss Applejack. A pony level-headed as you is a gift of the goddesses in dire times. Don’t sell yourself short. For now, though—

I’ll be by her side. I know what I gotta do.

A magazine flopped to the floor behind her, pages curled in odd directions. The jolt disturbed Applejack’s deep thought just before the cup overflowed.

Back in the waiting room, she found Rainbow puffed up and restless. Like her old self. Like.

“Took you long enough,” she grunted. Her voice had evened out some just from speaking at all.

Applejack carefully deposited the cup from her upturned hoof to the table. A drop or two escaped. “Bon appetit.”

Rainbow shook her head. “Sloppy.”

“You know the brat thing don’t work on me, Rainbow.” She sat down carefully, so as to not jostle her wife.

Rainbow spaced out staring at her reflection in it. “Right. Give me a sip.”

Applejack reached for it, but Rainbow batted her hooves away.

“You know how I meant,” she whispered. Her lip trembled.

Careful, Applejack hooked her foreleg around Rainbow’s. She stiffened to resist. A loving nuzzle broke the defense. Applejack didn’t mind tousling both their manes. Her snout buried itself in Rainbow’s and she breathed in. The faint ozone had faded with days on the ground. All the nuzzles before then, the hours of cradling Rainbow’s head, imparted her own invisible scent.

“You don’t gotta be so underhoofed about it,” Applejack said into Rainbow’s ear. “”But you gotta do something for me first.”

Rainbow turned to Applejack. A deep kiss stifled what she intended to say. Her lips pursed under Applejack’s, suddenly unsure whether she deserved it. On this, she would not yield. Rainbow pulled away, ears pinned back.

More than ever, Applejack felt sure. She guided Rainbow’s cheek with her hoof so she couldn’t look away. “I ain’t here to tell you it’s all gonna be okay. I’m only a pony. I can’t tell you if things will ever be okay again. I can’t tell you what’s on the other side of the veil. What’s right or what’s wrong. What I can do is make sure that the love of my life forgives herself before she lets it eat her away.”

“Applejack, I can’t.” Rainbow hugged Applejack’s foreleg close, lest the despair carry her away. “She— she’s dead. She was close enough that I could see her eyes. I saw them when the witch poisoned her. I lost my wing to it. The worst pain I’d ever felt. And-and it struck her, and I still could see her eyes. She begged for me to help with them. Then they were screwed shut so damned tight that it looked like her head would explode. And I couldn’t do anything.”

Rainbow’s mouth was a desert. Applejack knew. The pathetic gasps, gasps like rusted hinges, broken and wrong to the ear, rendered so by her thirst — they drove knives into Applejack’s heart.

Warm rivulets ran down her surrendered foreleg. Rainbow couldn’t keep herself upright any longer without clinging to Applejack. “I-I’d give them both, Applejack. Both wings. I should have. Maybe then she’d be here still. I don’t care about my wings. I don’t care that I’d be unable to sa-save anyone else ever again. I’d be glad. I can’t fly ever ag-again anyways. I’m selfish. I’d give anything to not have her-her blood on my hooves.”

The window poured in blaring light. Applejack stared into it and ignored the pain, lost herself in the light as she held Rainbow Dash up. “I’m convinced now, love. You’ve convinced me, another pony on the straight and narrow, a pony who’d judge you for your crimes and deeds despite my feelings that you’re a hero. Always will be. Heroes aren’t made of stone, because they’re ponies. Ponies ain’t perfect.

“But you?

“You’re a hero because of the pain. You got a heart, Rainbow. If anything ever were impossible, it’d be a for a pony like you to not have conceivably done everything she could to save another. You can’t live a day on this planet, Rainbow Dash, and lead me to think for even a second that you weren’t good enough, that you were coward and didn’t try.”

Rainbow hadn’t stopped crying. Applejack never let her go for a moment that day. Even when the nurses ousted them. Even when her legs nearly gave out on the way home, with Rainbow on her back.

When the day drew to an end with Rainbow tucked into bed, sleep fitful, Applejack watched from the bedside in a creaky chair. She was as unstill as her wife but so horrifyingly awake.

And all she could think?

***

“I said the wrong things to her.”

The chair gave its fanfare as Applejack stirred. She wasn’t sure who had spoken. The bed and Rainbow both vanished. She stared at a the floor of the glade.

Silver Swirl brushed past Applejack. “A pity that you’d think that, dear Applejack. You two hadn’t spoken of those days ever again, no?”

Applejack almost humiliated herself with a flinch. Silver Swirl no longer looked the part of the witch. Her voice sounded rather scratchy. Brows furrowed, Applejack rose and began to pace a length behind the other mare. “We didn’t. It took awhile for her to get past that. I’d almost call it a shame she hadn’t let a single pony down until that age. The sooner — I daresay — the better.”

“Ever the realist? Perhaps your reverence almost convinced you too that the day’d never come.” Silver tossed her mane. “Forgive my outburst earlier. I was channeling your inner demons there. I’m not quite used to shouting like you ruffians.”

They walked with no destination, Applejack came to realize. She still followed knowing that. “The test. The — the judgment. Whatever it is.”

To her relief, Silver heard it as a question. “It’s nearly complete. I simply ask. What became of you two?”

Applejack knew well what became of her.

Between the trees of the forest, she could see her distant farm. “It became my life. The blood and sweat of everyone before me went into these lands. When ma and pa died, it became my duty.”

“You became a machine,” Silver said for her.

“I threw myself into it. It became rote. I needed a routine to take my mind off everything. I got caught up in silly habits. I wanted to repeat that first month of minding the farm forever. Granny said she was proud of us! The town held a huge party for us come the first harvest. I almost felt like I’d be myself again.”

“You held yourself back. You were a bright mind, a born leader.”

“That’s why I went away one day. I got selfish. I loathed my home deep down after enough time.”

In the skies above, a beautiful rainbow sailed by, rustling all the leaves in the forest.

“Then you realized that your family needed you. You realized that you didn’t have to be miserable.”

“And the girls sealed the deal. They helped me be completely honest with myself. They gave me the honor and privilege of being their friend. Friends and family became my life.”

Silver Swirl cocked her head, throwing back an amused smile. “But here you are, saying you deserve none of it.”

Applejack smiled. One brushstroke, grim, and infinitely more, full of hope. “What can I say? My friends. The family. Rainbow. They made me who I am. They’re a part of me.”

With her magic, Silver Swirl cleared away a thicket that they approached.

Two trees outside of time stood, intertwined. It wasn’t like the one she knew. The roots stood apart, placing the distinct shape of the heart on the ground. However, Applejack saw an ornate silver door covering the opening she expected to find.

“And you are a part of them.” Silver Swirl planted herself before Applejack, blocking the door. “You, Applejack, are as real as their four legs, their horns and their wings. You will not die. Not today, nor ever. Just as your mother and father did, you’ve rooted yourself in their hearts, deep enough that nothing will ever take you away from them.”

Applejack held her head high, matching the pale pony’s eyes with her own. “The world’ll never forget how strong they are. That’s all that matters to me.”

“And they will never forget the mare who held them up. They can never forget the mare who made sure they were always their best.”

With that, Silver Swirl stood aside.

Applejack marched on. The door readily swung open, yielding for the mare that could put its strength to shame.

The moment she touched the light, everything went black.

***

Her eyes were too heavy to open. But she was alive.

“A-Applejack. Thank Celestia, oh thank her.”

Rainbow Dash’s voice was rushed, almost gibberish. Exhausted, withered. Elated, with the most joy Applejack ever heard in a voice. Her hooves took one of Applejack’s up, so shaken that she could barely hold it.

Thick fog choked her thoughts. Applejack struggled to keep all the words on her mind in the right order. Her lungs were weak. But she tried.

“Rainbow.

“Rainbow Dash, the beating heart in my chest. I love you.

“And you love me. That alone, I can die happy with. Please, tell the girls. Tell Mac, Sugar, Bloom. Brae, Jazz, Fritter, heavens, all of them. Tell Celestia, Luna, all the folks in the palaces.

“Tell them that Applejack loved them more than anythin’.

“And you, my beating heart, I love you more than life. I wouldn’t buy a century if the price was a second of yours.

“I can only hope I was the best damn set of wings you ever had. I tried. You’re a hero. A treasure. I’m proud that… you’d ever look my way.

“This fool named Applejack. I hold ya, I love ya and I tell you how great you are, but I never did give you that drink.”

Rainbow laughed. The tears had ceased.

“Applejack, you bonehead. That was the happiest day of my life. I just couldn’t get over myself enough to tell you.”

A feather of weight had been lifted off Applejack’s chest. Time? It crushed the air from her either way. But she never felt lighter.

“You’re my wings, Applejack. The rest of the world just doesn’t know what the secret to my greatness was. I don’t reckon they’ll ever understand it like I do.”

She didn’t have it in her to shed a tear. Her face hurt so much from the smile on it that it’d have brought tears on its own, yet she couldn’t weep. There was no need.

With one last sigh, Applejack relaxed. “Make sure we go out with a bang, Rainbow.”

Hearing failed her halfway. Her lover’s name had stained her lips over a lifetime, so she knew it had been said.

A warm, down drape graced her. Soft lips brushed against hers, cracked and dry in comparison.

It felt good.

A relief.

***

The watercolor forest died. No more sounds came from it.

Silver Swirl sat at a little table with tea for two.

Cup to her face, she addressed the empty chair.

“Forgive this drifter for meddling.”

Silence. Silver took a sip.

“There was never a ‘test’. I'm no judge. I have a feeling that you figured me out, I can never be sure with you dense sorts.”

From the black, a tattered stetson drifted down.

It caught a branch of the conjoined trees, left to hang.