My Little Spetsnaz

Author’s Note:

This hasn't been edited yet, but I'm getting it done. I've been really busy with training for a triathlon so I'm just happy to have this much done

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It was a frigid day in Lyampushka Siberia. Snow was falling, no animals were moving about, and there wasn’t a tree in miles. Nothing special for the three Spetsnaz agents on patrol around their complex in the middle of nowhere.

“I fucking hate patrol, can’t they make the rookies do it?” Complained Yuri, the ornery one of the group.

“Eh, shut up сука*, nobody wants to hear it!” Replied Viktor.

Gregovich, the quieter one of the group, rolled his eyes and chuckled at the two, who were almost always arguing.

They began their hike up the steep cliff that they had to climb to finish their patrol, and then they had to set up an over watch position.

“What is the point of this? Nobody ever comes out here but us!” Questioned Yuri with an annoyed look on his face.

“Yeah… Vik, you got those sandwiches you were talkin’ ‘bout?” Said Gregovich.

“Yup, here they are” Replied Viktor as he reached into his bag and pulled out three plastic packages.

The other two responded positively and took the sandwiches, then sat down on the snowy peak.

“You see that?” Yuri asked suddenly.

“What?” Replied the other two.

“That light, over that ridge there, you don’t see it?”

“Oh, the hell is that?” Responded Gregovich.

“I’m not sure let’s go see, maybe we can use these damned guns!” Exclaimed Viktor.

The three jumped up and walked briskly over to the source of the disturbance. When they reached the hill, they stared in awe at this blinding light that was just there. It had nothing connected to it, but it was growing.

“What tha’…” Yuri muttered.

They stood there and pondered what to do when Viktor decided to touch it. This could have been the best or worst thing he decided to do. The other two trailed slowly behind him. He reached out, as soon he touched, the world went white, whiter than the snow that surrounded them.

Yuri woke up feeling groggy. He looked around and noticed that it was no longer snow covered, in fact, he was surrounded by trees and grass.

“What happened…?” He muttered.

To his right, Viktor groaned, and said the same thing.

Yuri turned to his right, and gawked at what he saw.

“Greg, what did you put in those sandwiches?”

“Nothing, why?” Gregovich muttered.

“Because Viktor is a horse” Yuri said with no expression at all.

“You’re fucking with me”

“Nope”

“He ain’t Greg” Viktor replied wide-eyed. “But so are you two”

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” Yuri screamed while staring at his black hooves, new saddle bag, and maroon mane.

“Alright, if Dima has taught us anything, it’s that freaking the fuck out isn’t going to help us find what we are looking for” Gregovich stuttered.

“I guess you’re right, maybe there is someone who knows what’s happening here” Viktor stated.

The three Spetsnaz-ponies took a minute to get their wits back until setting off into the deep forest that surrounded them. They were silent as they strolled through the wood until Viktor stumbled over the edge of a path.

“Well look at that...” He muttered.

The Spetsnaz-ponies decided to go left on the trail and they could notice that as they advanced, the forest thinned, they knew that they must be nearing the edge. Their gate was still awkward, as they were each so used to being on two feet, not four hooves.

Yuri glanced up and stated; “Well, isn’t that nice”

“What?” Replied the other two.

“A rainbow”

“Where?” Gregovich asked.

“In the fucking sky idiot” Yuri answered in a annoyed manner.

“Ha, that is nice…”

Suddenly, the rainbow made a sharp turn towards the three. The trio was speechless as the rainbow dashed towards them. All the sudden Yuri, who happened to be standing in the middle, was tackled. “Ahhhhhhhh!” He screamed. He was then pinned by a cyan pony with a rainbow mane and tail, except this one had wings. “WHAT THE HELL?!”

“You’re members of the evil cult of ponies from the forest!” The winged cyan pony screamed at Yuri.

By that time, Gregovich and Viktor had found their way over to the other two.

“Now, before you hurt him” Gregovich said as Viktor snickered, “Hear us out.”

“Why should I?” The 4th pony snapped.

“Because we have no idea what’s going on…” Viktor finished for him.

“Alright, fine, but you better make it fast…” She replied.

“Well… It all started when…” Gregovich explained their story from the beginning to end. “And that’s what we are doing here, or at least that’s what I think…”

“So, you are telling me that you come from a world where people stand on two legs?” The rainbow pony said with doubt.

“Yup” Yuri stated, “now could you get off me?”

“And people don’t have tails and cutie marks?”

“Cutie marks?” Questioned Viktor.

“Yea, cutie marks, marks on your flank that signifies your special talent”

“You mean this?” Yuri asked, pointing to his flank, that had two crossed knives on it.

“Yea, I guess you’re good with knives then?”

“Yuri could skin a man in a minute if he wanted” Gregovich joked.

“Whatever, you three should follow me, I’ll take you to go see my friend Twilight, she might know what’s going on…”

“Wait, what’s your name?” Asked Yuri.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, weather mare and fastest flier in all of Equestria, and you?”

“Well, I’m Yuri, this is Gregovich and Viktor”

“You have weird names” Rainbow Dash chuckled.

“Whatever, at least we don’t name our towns after our race…” Muttered Viktor.

So, the four ponies started off, Rainbow Dash leading the three black and maroon colts into Ponyville.

They arrived at Twilight’s library, receiving many strange looks from the ponies from town.

“Why’d everyone look at us funny?” Questioned Yuri.

“Three identical ponies is very rare, everyPONY is wondering about you three. Why do you always say ‘everybody’ it doesn’t make sense!” Rainbow explained.

“Because that is the proper term. Even in another species, the ending ‘-body’ would remain in proper context because it doesn’t specify anything but a body, which horses, or ponies, have” Gregovich replied.

Rainbow Dash mumbled something under her breath and the screamed “TWILIGHT!!!”

“Jeez Rainbow, this is a library, you don’t scream!” Replied a new voice, that the Spetsnaz suspected was Twilight.

A purple pony came down the stairs, this one had no wings but instead a horn. She glanced at her friend and then to Yuri, Viktor, and Gregovich and gasped.

“Three identical ponies? In one place? The odds of that are like…” She shirked.

“Uhh… I’m Yuri, you’re Twilight I assume?”

“Yes, I’m Twilight Sparkle, praised student of Princess Celistia” She stated.

“Princess who?” Viktor asked.

“Where are you from? You don’t know who Princess Celistia is?”

“That’s why I brought them here…” Rainbow Dash cut her off, “they came out of the Everfree Forest…”

“Rainbow, you have heard the legend right…” The purple pony replied.

“Yea… but these three don’t know anything…”

“We are from Russia, not you’re damn equine environment, I don’t even want to know how all of this works, I just want to get back, and forget this bullshit…”

This was replied to by a chorus of “Mmm…”s

The purple unicorn’s horn then illuminated with a purple glow, lifting a book labeled ‘Equestrian

Atlas’ off the shelves of the library.

“How’d you do that?!” asked Yuri.

“What? Magic? All unicorns can do that. Wow, you really do know nothing…” she replied.

“First wings now magic, it sounds just like a kids show…”