Anxiety Flutters

by CookieDo

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1077

An in depth look at how Fluttershy was before she met the Mane Six and solved her long standing anxiety problems.

Everyone knows Fluttershy is, well, shy. Nobody thinks much past that. Why would they? She was just a timid mare in their eyes, afraid of her own shadow. She only has one friend, Rainbow Dash, whom she doesn't get to see very often due to her living in CloudsDale. She only had her animals to look after.
So, what goes through the mind of this timid pony when she does have to face others?
~~
This story is set before the arrival of Twilight, by about a year or two. It has to deal with themes of anxiety and depression, so please do not read it if you are very sensitive to stories that deal with those topics. I plan on this being a one shot, due to me not being on this site often enough to want another multi chapter story. If you have been a fan of me, you will notice I cancelled my other stories.

Published 2017-07-10 04:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-10 04:40:06 UTC

Shyly Flutter

It was cold in the cottage. The windows had been opened early that morning, allowing the bird's song to fill the house. It was now on the brink of dusk, the sun almost centered on the horizon. Many of the animals had already made their beds, and started to doze off into dreamless sleep. The soft, buttercream colored pony sighed, watching them peacefully sleep. She gathered her things, as she had to go into town to get supplies. It wasn't unusual for her to go after dark, as her animals were all asleep by then. She drew a shaky breath before opening the door to a golden lit field and path, leading to a village, filled with others of her race. She timidly stepped her first hoof out of the door, feeling the cold air sweep by.

She carefully placed the next hoof out, and then the other two. The thought of turning around, and going back inside crossed her mind. She shook her head, she was is disparate need of supplies and food. She'd already skipped going out for almost a week now. She closed the door behind her. There was no turning back now. She swallowed.

"You.. you can do this," she said to herself, as if she was attempting to convince herself of it. With every step she took closer to the quiet town, the more and more a voice in the back of her head called out to her, 'Turn back now, there's no shame." She breathed heavily upon reaching the first house. She'd made it to the village, though it was only half the journey.

"You've made it this far," she quietly told herself as she continued to place one hoof in front of the next. As she inched closer and closer to the marketplace, she could hear more and more ponies talking, laughing, and joking. She wished so desperately to get as far away from it as she could. She continued to walk.

The timid pony finally arrived at the edge of the marketplace. Shops were set up, as were some games. She gulped down a lump in her throat. 'Turn back,' a voice firmly spoke in her head. She found it hard to resist the urge to follow it. It was so tempting to turn and run, but she and her animals would all suffer if she did. She knew it wasn't about her, it was about the ones who were depending on her.

She stepped her front hoof into the circle of shops and carts. She was hit with the force of a truck by anxiety. She tried to breathe, to calm herself. "Think about your animals," she said to herself, and forced another hoof in. The felt her stomach twist and turn, and she started to feel nauseous. Another hoof stepped in. She bit back tears. The world felt like it was going black around her. The sounds of ponies faded out, and all she could hear was her own heartbeat. The only thing she saw was her own body, surrounded completely in pitch black darkness. Her breath shallowed and quickened. Her heartbeat became increasingly fast. She was stuck. She couldn't move, it was as if fear had glued her hooves in place. She tried to say help. Her mouth was clamped shut from fear.

She started to feel burning hot tears drip down her face. She heard a voice. "Hey, are you alright?" A red figure asked, though just a scratchy outline on the sea of black. Fluttershy backed away, her heart beating even faster, her breath ever quicker. A hoof extended out to her. She saw a image flash in front of her from her memories. It was of her bully, his fist reared up to punch. She wanted to scream. Tears flowed faster from her eyes, her ears glued down. Her mane fell into her face, shrouding half of her vision in Pink.

"Look, it's me," the voice said, and the red outline came closer. Fluttershy wanted to run away. She only stepped back, until her backside hit the exterior wall of a house. She started to cry even harder. The figure drew closer, and she couldn't escape. She couldn't even do it for the ones she loved, and she let them down. She pressed her body as close to the wall as she could, hoping it could move, or she could go through it. She fearfully turned her head away from the red figure, her entire body shaking. She felt the embrace of two hooves around her neck.

"Flutters, it's me," she said. The timid pony saw a cyan pony with rainbow hair replace the red sketch of an outline that had once been there. She threw her hooves around her friend, choking on sobs.

"I.. I thought..," she tried to say, but couldn't get it out due to the pain in her throat from the cries. She was overwhelmed by the relief of her friend being here.

"I know, flutters. Next time, just call me before you go out, I'll come with you," the rainbow maned pony said, hugging her tightly. "You know I don't like you going alone." Fluttershy hugged her, saying thanks between sobs. Rainbow Dash wished her friend would have asked her to come with her, this could have been prevented. She tried not to think of what would have happened if she hadn't been on patrol for clouds right then. It scared her when her timid friend tried going out on her own, even if she was a fully grown mare.

"Let's get you home," Rainbow said, gently pulling away from the hug. "I can get the supplies this time." They began the walk back to the cottage on the edge of the Everfree. It was shrouded in darkness now, the only light coming from fireflies or a glowing plant. Rainbow wondered why she didn't live on the other side of town, where there was just a field, but never brought it up. It wasn't her place to question her friend's decisions.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash arrived at the front door. Rainbow told Fluttershy to wait inside as she got everything needed. Fluttershy obeyed, going inside. She sat on her couch, and thought over what had happened. 'It'll never get better,' the voice said. Fluttershy sighed, knowing it was true. She hugged a pillow to her chest as she waited for her beloved friend to return.