Chapters I love back to the future references
~~According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black~~
The beep beep beep of the alarm clock shook Doodle-Doo awake, It seemed that the days in his youth of not sleeping to lessen the workload of his mother had finally taken there toll. He looked at the clock to see... It was 8:25, crap he was supposed to take Pip to his first day at school today, It had been a few weeks since his mother had adopted Pip, since Doodle-Doo’s fight with his mother.
His mother’s car was in the shop today, and Pegisi air traffic was backed up, so he grabbed a rope, his skateboard and helmet and a harness, he then rushed to Pip’s room...
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Insert Power of love montage here
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As Doodle-doo and pip tried to sneak into the school, an oh-so-familiar voice stopped him. Vice principal Strickland glared disapprovingly at Doodle-doo, before noticing Pipsqueak. It was then that he began his rant
“It was bad enough when you ruined your own education with your slacker attitude, then you had to drive this pliable young colt into your twisted amusements. I’ve decided you are an even greater danger to public safety than that dangerous crackpot of a doctor, Princess Twilight Sparkle... You’re just like your father you know, He was a slacker too. He deserved what he got, when the bugs ripped through his flesh, he should have stayed with his own social class!”
It was then that Strickland literally marched them out of the school.
“So, now what ?” Pipsqueak asked.
“No idea” Doodle-doo said.
Pipsqueak looked around, and saw a Barnes and Nobles. “Can we go in there?” Pipsqueak asked, while pointing.
Doodle-doo frowned “Well um, You see, I’m kinda um, banned for life” he said embarrassed.
Pipsqueak stifled back a laugh “Seriously ?”
Doodle-doo nodded sheepishly “besides the library at home has all the same books as that place, and they’re free” he said with a smile.
“Okay” Pip braced himself for another skateboard ride.
========================Different transition this time
In the massive expanse of the Canterlot Royal Library, Doodle-doo and Pipsqueak sat curled up in chairs next to each other. Doodle-doo was reading The Art Of The Deal by Donald Trot while Pipsqueak was reading something equally engrossing, The Draconiquis In The Sombrero by Dr. Chaos.
Then the Author came out of the book, Discord the titular Draconiquis in the titular sombrero, took a bow. Pipsqueak panicked, and threw the book onto the floor, while Doodle-doo barely looked up from his book “Hello Uncle D.”
Although Pipsqueak had met Discord before, he was not used to his flashy entrances. Discord, seeing the terrified look on Pip’s face, he bowed in apology.
“Anyways Mon Nephews, Your mother is aware of what happened at the school today, and is going to talk to you about how we are going to deal with it, tonight at dinner.” He paused briefly before continuing “And Doodle-doo, your mother asked me to tell you that she’s sorry for what she said to you, and she still loves you both.” Discord pulled up a chair, and said “Don’t mind me, Continue reading.” Discord began reading Advanced Chaos Theory by Q, while the brothers resumed their regularly scheduled literature.
=============Fast=forward=the=VHS=like=that=one=scene=in=Spaceballs
“Kids, I’m home” Luna stepped out of her custom Night-sky painted DMC-012. She Clicked the keys and with a Beep-beep the car teleported into the garage. She found a short note written in the neat yet simplistic handwriting of her older son Went to library
===Cut=to=the=library==
Doodle-doo and Pip were reading Where’s Waldo Extreme and were currently stuck on Where’s Waldo in grey scale land, while Discord was incredibly bored out of his All-Knowing-Mind.
The boys had just about tracked down the elusive scarf wearing stallion when there was a loud thump at the window, followed by a crash.
The gray, blonde haired mail-mare, opened the balcony door, she gave a salute “Mail for you, Princess Luna, and some for you two as well.” she said pointing at Doodle-doo and Pipsqueak.
Pip looked at her concerned, pointing to her wing filled with flower pot pieces, he asked “Are you okay?”
Derpy beamed at him with that smile of complete innocence “I’m fine, besides this happens all the time.” She said that last part in a manner similar to an unlucky jackrabbit desert sage, she then flew off.
Then they (Doodle-doo and Pipsqueak) turned around to see their mother, before then rushing into a big hug. She then handed each of them their mail; Doodle-doo received a new issue of Miniature Railroad Enthusiast and a Comic-book labeled Tales from Space; Space zombie from Pluto, while Pip received various letters from the orphanage.
=============Fast=Forward=yet Again===
Ever since Luna first adopted Pipsqueak, Blueblood like the pretentious prick he was, had refused to eat with who he called "Traitors to the Unicorn master-race".
Tonight was no different, Der Fueher, as Blueblood called himself, was probably in his so-called "Secret Evil Lair of Evil Secrets". Where he was likely practicing "speech" which was really just him yelling about how various groups were Inferior, while a song played and ponies marched in unison.
When She found out what happened at school, Luna was disgusted that Vice Principal Strickland would turn Duskshield's Brave last stand, his heroic sacrifice, into the "well-deserved" death of an idotic fool.
Pip asked what happened to Doodle-Doo's father, she had simply told him he had died. She hadn't told Doodle-Doo the truth until he turned 16, however after this incident she felt Pip should know part of the truth, told through a parable.
But not the whole truth.
No. It was a story that contained the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance.
It was the story of a unicorn couple named James and Lilly, and their son, Harry.
However there was still the issue of Pip's educational conundrum. It was a riddle wrapped within an enigma, Unless...
The next day Luna, with Doodle-doo riding shotgun and Pipsqueak in the back, turned the keys of her DeLorean, She then switched to the Hover-mode and together the three of them went into the great unknown.
Author's Note
Yes, I am actually banned from Barnes and noble Irl.
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Pipsqueak's Roots (get it, it's like Alex Halley's Roots)
As Doodle Doo collapsed onto the bed, his cat, Midnight meowed softly. Following this, the black and white cat then began tugging at Doodle Doo's silver and green scarf. This action caused Doodle Doo to awake, "Silly, kitty" he said. Then Doodle Doo turned to pip and asked "So pip, how was school?", this was pipsqueak's chance.
"What can you tell me About Your Father's side of the Family?"
At this question, Doodle-Doo looked around frantically back and forth, then he pulled a random lever, that wasn't there until it was pulled. After pulling the (Deus Ex Machina) lever, the wall opened up and reveled a dusty old starcase. Gesturing with his hoof, Doodle Doo beckoned Pipsqueak to a small, dimly lit, metal room. He sat down on a rusty old chair and grabbed a binder filled with tattered scraps of parchment.
"So Far, I've found records going back to My Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather." He, Doodle Doo, explained "He lived in the time shortly after the first Hearths Warming, His Name was Horatio, he like most ancient unicorns was eventually given a title, The Magicless. He was, as far as I can tell, the earliest known case of what we call a Squib." Doodle Doo paused slightly pointing to himself at the mention of the word squib, before continuing.
"Now although the Hearth's warming had strengthened most of the tribes relations, there was one exception, The Belief of Unicorn Supremacy was in its peak, and the earth ponies were on the receiving end of it, It was a dark time, and tensions were high, War was a large possibility. In fact it almost did." Doodle-Doo paused again, wondering how to explain what was about to happen.
"But, He prevented it, right?" Pipsqueak, who was rapidly scribbiling down every word of the story, asked.
"Well yes and no, you see on December 7th, 1775, He was killed after a protest turned into a riot. No one is Really sure who Killed him, but both Unicorn and Earth pony Put aside there differences, For his sake."
"But..."
Well Before He died, Horatio, married a mare by the name of Jyn Abbot Aeverfriee, They had one kid, Scrimjour, When Jyn died, She Asked That Scrimjour carry on his father's name, However due to a clerical error, Aeverfriee became spelled as Everfree."
Pipsqueak then turned to Doodle Doo and asked, "so what did Scrimjour Everfree do?
"Scrimjour Became a professor, and Documented and researched what we now know as the Everfree Forest, It was named for his mother, however too was mistranslated into what it is now."
"Professor Scrimjour married an earth-pony by the name of Jelly Apple, They had two children, the only member of the family to do so."
"Firstly there was Duskstorm, He was the first Captain of The Shadow-bolts, He died Childless. Then there was Our Great Great Grandfather, General Nightstriker Sr. He was a hero of The Equestro-Griffon War, He married Belladonna Sparkle, Who planted the seed, Quite literally for the Golden Oaks Library, which was meant as a memorial to those who died in the war."
"His Son was probably one of the most famous members of the Everfree Family Tree, General Nightstriker Jr, He was One of the most brilliant military Generals in the Equestrian Civil War. He was the Head of the Army of Northern Ponyvile."
"He was The Last NLR general to surrender, Weeks after the Disastrous raid on Canterlot, That led to Nightmare Moon's banishment, He held out, Until on August 14 1865, at the Applelossa courthouse, the hero of the battles of Gallopsburg, Alicorntiem, and the First and Second Battles of Minotaur Run (or as the Sols called it Marenassis), Finally laid down his Sabre."
"He Then Married Diane Pie, and Lived out the rest of his days on his farm west of Canterlot, with the rest of the NLR general staff, under the watchful eyes of Federal Troops. They had one Child, Scrimjour Everfree II, who married Jolly Joker."
"And then We get to My-I mean Our father, Dusk-Shield Everfree."
"And it is here that we Depart from firm Facts to Murky Speculation and Tragic Sacrifices."
"Tell Me, Pipsqueak, What do you know about an Ancient bit of magic called, Lily's Sacrifice."
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Well Pipsqueak Got an A for His project.
Author's Note
I remember Reading somewhere that having music to go along with a story is not recomended because reasons, however because of the name of the chapter and its subject matter I felt I had to Insert a Link to one of the best tv show themes SO here it is
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Take your brother to your non-existent job day
As winter break had begun, Pipsqueak was off from school, and Luna was all like “well since you do all most nothing at work you can watch your brother while you’re at it.”.
Doodle Doo’s office was a very interesting and strangely designed room. One wall of the room, was taken up by nothing but clocks, all ticking in unison. On another wall, there was a map of Equestria. On yet another wall, there was a newspaper clipping of a paper called “The Daily Prophet”, there was a picture of a human with a silver and green scarf, and five other people pip couldn’t recognize, a headline read “The Triwizard Tournament” Pipsqueak could have sworn the picture had moved, and an oil painting of a human with messy hair, and a brown coat, on the bottom of the painting a plaque read “Kramer”.
Doodle Doo" sat down at his desk, quickly glanced at the cobweb filled In tray, then leaned back In his chair.
Noticing his Interest in the Photo, Doodle-Doo smiled and said "ah I see You've noticed Arthur."
Pip was confused "Who?"
"Arthur Mathias, an old friend from the Meta-War." Doodle-Doo said, Matter of Factly.
'What?" Pip was still confused
"Oh, um, Nevermind, Let's just say He's a Old Friend." Doodle-Doo said In a way that was definitely not the tone of someone hiding a past.
"From Where?" Pip asked inquisitively.
Doodle Doo Flipped a Lever on his desk and the wall with the map began shifting around, growing larger and larger until it took up the whole wall.
"The World's a whole lot bigger than you think."
Author's Note
I think may have Overdone it this time with the references See if you can Spot them all.
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Changelings and Mistletoe Don't mix, or The Infamous John Micheal rant Reenacted by ponies
It was the 394th Royal Heart’s Warming Ball.
Doodle-Doo was introducing Pipsqueak to Arthur Mathias, while shooing the occasional Changeling away from the Mistletoe.
Nopony was exactly sure why changelings wanted to eat mistletoe, most assumed it had to do with the tradition of kissing under it.
What was for certain was that: 1) Mistletoe made changelings extremely hyper, As in Pinkie-Pie after Drinking 5 Red-Bulls, and 2) After the inevitable ~~Sugar~~ Mistletoe Crash, there would be extreme indigestion and other ~~things you drink pepto bismal for~~ unpleasant things. 3) When Changelings saw mistletoe they were more hypnotized than a cow listening to a fat, yodeling, rustler.
Later in the night, Doodle-Doo took to the stage and atempted stand up.
“People love to recommend their doctor to you.I don’t know what they get out of it, but they really push them on you.Is he good?He’s the best. This guy’s the best. There can’t be this many “bests.” Someone’s graduating at the bottom of the classes. Where are these doctors? Is someone somewhere saying to their friend, “You should see my doctor, he’s the worst. He’s the absolute worst there is. Whatever you’ve got, it’ll be worse after you see him. The man’s an absolute butcher.”
“Oh, you know Bob? Oh, okay, I’ll give you thereal medicine. Everybody else I’m giving Tic Tacs.”
Sometimes you go to a nice restaurant, they put the check in the little book. What is this, the story of the bill? “Once upon a time somebody ordered a salad.” There’s a little gold tassel hanging down. Am I graduating from the restaurant? Should I put this on the rearview mirror of my Camaro?
I don’t even know how that helps them solve the crime. They look at the thing on the ground, “Oh, his arm was like that when he hit the pavement, that means the killer must have been..........Jim!”
The one movie ad I don’t get is this one:
If you see only one movie this year, why go at all? You’re not going to enjoy it. There’s too much pressure. You’re sitting there, “All right, this it for 51 more weekends, this better be good!”
Just when he was beginning to wrap up the night, Doodle-doo was heckled by a changeling in the audience, “Boo, You Stink”
To this Doodle-Doo, responded with “He’s a bug, He’s a Bug, Throw him out.”
The changling said “Thats uncalled for”
Doodle-Doo, lost it at this point. “Fifty years ago we would’ve had you hanging upside down with a fork up your tail.”
The Changeling Heckler replied with “Don’t speak to me like that you Gary Stu.”
“Well Then don’t interupt the alicorn, you bug.”
Author's Note
Doodle-Doo's stand up bits are copypasted seinfeld monologues,
Now with Hogan's Heroes references
~~On the last episode of Dragon ball Z~~ The explanation about the fate of Duskshield held up for several weeks. This is the story of when and how it would no longer suffice.
At the Crystal Imperial School of Scholarly Things there were two new teachers; Mr. Klink, a unicorn whose talent was butchering the violin, and Mr. Schultz, a rather large, grey, earth pony.
Pipsqueak was in Mr. Schultz's class. Across the hallway he could hear the ear-bleeding torture that was Klink's violin playing. After what felt like an eternity, the screeching was silenced by the much more melodically sounding school-bell.
=======================Fast=Forwarding>>=====================================================
"Okay,class now for homework, over the weekend for Homework I want you to find out about your ancestors, and tell me about them, They can be on either your father or mother's side." Mr Schultz, proclaimed while everypony was packing up.
As this was happening Pipsqueak was wondering, if he should do his (adopted) mother or father's side, when suddenly he realized he had a question for his teacher. "Um, Mr. Schultz, sir?" he (pipsqueak) asked fervently.Mr Schultz turned around and saluted the young colt whilst saying " Jawohl Herr pipsqueak".
Now was Pip's chance "So if we were adopted, would we do our foster parents?" he asked.
To which Mr. Schultz had a laugh that, (combined with his rather large bulk) made him resemble Santa Claus, "Of Course" he said.
It was then he decided who side of the family to choose, But it wouldn't be as simple as asking Duskshield Everfree, given that he was, well, Deceased.
Considering that previous attempts on receiving information about him from his mother seemed to result in tears and being told he wasn't old enough yet. As pipsqueak paced back and forth in his room, thinking about how to solve this dilemma, there was a knock at the door. It was then that Doodle-Doo came home from, well whatever he did when he went to work. As Doodle-Doo put his silver and green scarf down Pip got an idea.
Author's Note
A/N: I have no Idea what Fervently means.
High up in the trees, in a wooden village, Pipsqueak Everfree sat in silent. Instead of joining in the celebration with the teddy bears, he was lighting a fire. With a torch in one hoof, he looked at the black armor of his fallen foe, Darth Noctum.
As the flames crackled around the suit, Pipsqueak's mind was racing back to days of his youth. The air was filled not with the repugnant odor of burning flesh, but the smell of sweet perfume.
The smoke climbed excitedly to the night sky. The stars too, seemed excited to see the smoke. When the fire had finally died out Pipsqueak turned to join the celebration.
Watching from the platform, two silvery, ghostly figures watched the celebration. One was a Pegasus, with the look of a lost puppy in his eyes, and a worn, goofy grin on his face. Standing next to him, holding him, was an alicorn, with a flowing mane of stars. The two were soon joined by a third ghostly figure. He was an alicorn looking similar to the female, the only difference being his hair which was messy and following normal physics, and his glasses. The three seemed very happy together.
Pipsqueak looked over from the celebration, a big smile went to his face. He waved to the ghostly figures of Dusk-shield Everfree (the father he never met), Princess Luna (the mother who loved and taught him), and the ghostly figure of stallion...
Darth Noctem
No, he wasn't that monster anymore...
He was just like he looked all those years ago...
Doodle-Doo Everfree...
Pipsqueak's Big Brother
Author's Note
Sorry for the weird format at the end.
Yeah this is a parody of the ending of RoTJ.