The Walrus

by SCP Pinkamena

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1635

Inspired (kinda) by the song I Am The Walrus by the Beatles

In the Guest Room of Twilight's castle there is a single human, he is solitary and does not speak. At least, not to them. He speaks to himself as if their was another pony in the room with him, but other than that his only interactions were nothing more than nod and a sound. But one night, as Twilight is getting ready for bed herself, she hears music coming from his room.

"I am the Walrus" from what I am seeing is mostly a free domain song. The only thing that is for sure copyright about the song is that it was sung by the Beatles

Published 2017-08-19 00:50:10 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-19 00:50:10 UTC

Goo Goo G'Joob

Author's Note

Theeru = Twilight
Diagot = Pony
Shuunda = Sparkle
Reexae = Purple/Indigo
These are part of a speaking I have where I make up words that pertain to the situation. Such as saying Nifiemum, it would mean good luck, or I've done it. I like to call it Ding-Speech

Goo Goo G'Joob

All was quite in Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and former student of Princess Celestia Sol, and good friend of her sister, Princess Luna Sol, currently had her nose deep in a book about strange findings about all over Equestria. She saw pictures, both real and sketches, of many creatures, such as what is dubbed 'Equus Monokeros' and while it means 'One Horned' it's actually a unicorn with a very dragonesque tail in comparison. The book called it a 'Traditional Unicorn' according to the sources. While that was fascinating, she was looking for a creature she knew existed,granted behind a mirror. Flipping threw the pages, she found it, it was barely a passage, and it had a name.

"'Homo Sapien: Wise Man. A single Homo Sapien was spotted in the year 42934323442423424 With A Side Of Custer Pie, Disc-World Era (Also known as the 4th year of Discord's Rule.) The Homo Sapien looked at the chaos and then at Discord himself before Discord sent him away. As a result no knows what it can do magically or otherwise.*' Well that's just straight up unhelpful." Twilight grumped. If it was just a creature made by Discord, than it shouldn't be categorized. She looked the book again and saw the star on the end of the sentence. A footnote?

"*Campsites had been raided out for food, but only eggs, wheat, and a dozen bottles of cows milk. It is uncertain that it was the Human, as some call it, but we are not sure, as we do not know its dietary habits." Odd. While the human she has eats bread, eggs, and drinks milk, she's never really seen him eat anything else. She would ask him later though. She looked at the time and her eyes widened in alarm.

"It's 9 o'clock already? I better get bed! Spike'll have a cow if he finds out I was up late again!" Mooooo! Twilight looked out her window to find Moorelda sitting outside. "No offence."

"None taken deary."

As she put books away and made herself some warm milk she passed by his room. The Guest Room was only meant for 3 ponies, but he made space for one person his size. However what caught her attention was the melody playing from the room. It was a strange song, but it had an oddly welcoming charm to it.

"I am the Eggman! They are the Eggmen! I am the Walus!"

Strange, what an..... Odd thing to sing. She tapped on the door and the music stopped almost immediately. "I'm going to bed now, was there anything else you needed before I lie down?" She asked and he thought about. His head whipped back, and he made an odd chirping noise, before he began to beckon her inside the room. He held out his device, and made a zapping sound. He wanted it charged and ready for tomorrow, but he also wanted her to stay for a moment.

"Oh? What's on your mind?" Twilight asked. For some reason that question made him chuckle. He patted the bed, telling her he wanted her to sit. He pulled up the song again and played it from the beginning.

As the song played, he began to notice Twilight become... confused. "I don't get it, how is this song so ludicrous? It makes no sense, how can he be the 'Eggman' while also being the Walrus? How can you get a tan in the rain? What the heck is an Eiffel Town?! Who's Edgar Allen Poe and why are they kicking him?! I don't get--" She was promptly stopped by him softly grabbing her muzzle shut.

"It's just a song, Theeru,*" he said in that almost made up language. There's no way it was real. "It's a song about nonsense. How it sometimes makes us happy, or sad. There is no rhyme or reason. It exists because it does. Does that make sense, Diagot?*" He said looking at her.

"Well... when you put it that way, yes it does make sense, but there are some many inconsistencies like the first phrase, why does he say 'See how they fly' instead of run?"

He began to chuckle again, "Shuunda,* you think too much, please go to bed." He said, yet just as reached for the covers, he stopped. "Actually... Come here, if you would I think you need to listen one more time. Yet instead of thinking about how is it all supposed to make sense, let it go and free your mind. Hmm, I think the best way to put it is to think like Discord." He said as factly as a he could.

This made Twilight recoil in shock. "Think like that nutbar?! He's CHAOS! He was once evil, and he almost destroyed Equestria! THREE TIMES!" She yelled. A little too loudly at that. Over at Fluttershy's cottage Discord perked up from his bed on the ceiling.

"Someone is ridiculing me... I'll see to it in the morning," he said as he rose back down to sleep.

Twilight had covered her mouth at the last part, suddenly with tears. While she was hesitant to say it, Discord was still her friend, and she just... outted him like. "That is why," the human said, "You think to hard on one thing and the whole world is in ruin. Yet think too little of something and it can have the same effect." He spoke as if he had gave this lesson before.

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, sister to the Captain of the Royal and the Prince of the Crystal Empire. The once personal student of Celestia Galaxia Sol, was now not only being told NOT to just stop thinking, but was TOLD to think freely with the song. 'Like Discord' he says... She took a deep breath, and let her mind go blank as the song began. Almost just as fast as it started it was nearing the end.

"Expert, texpert, choker, smoker, don't you think the joker laughs at you? (Ho ho ho he he he ha ha ha!)"

This part caught her ear for some reason or another. It was almost like it was saying her life was a big, corny joke.

She honestly didn't know why she found it funny. Maybe because somewhere deep down she thought it was. The joker, while it was a vague say-so, it had to be Discord laughing at her when she was weak and helpless against him. However, in the same token it can also say that it's Tirek laughing at Discord when he was betrayed. It could mean a lot of things, really. Starlight against Twilight, Fluttershy 'helping' Philomena. So many different things...

When the song ended, she looked up at the human, whose name she still did not know, remembering the first time he came here.

"...And here is the best bakery in Ponyville: Sugar Cube Corner!" Twilight said happily as the human took some sort of interest in the bakery. Everywhere else had been the same sound, over and over again and it was gonna haunt her forever. The dreaded 'meh'. She shook her head and looked to see him turning over his pockets. A few coins, a paperclip, and a strange red-green paper. He walked in and everyone halted at once. Even the ever peppy Pinkie stopped dead in her tracks. He payed them no mind and went to the display case and pointed at a box of donuts. Most were creme filled but some were glazed too, and his mouth began to water at the sight of it.

He look at Carrot and pointed back to the box. Carrot Cake grabbed the box, "F-five bits please...?" The human looked at the note he had and handed it to him. "I'm s-s-sorry sir, w-w-w-w-we don't take that currency here." He looked down at the note and back at Carrot and then turned to Twilight who was still in the door.

"Reexae*, I need 10 bits." He said. This was shock for most but Twilight was the most shocked, it could talk? She handed him the bits and he walked back over and set all 10 down.

"O-oh! You don't have too--" He began but the human cut him off.

"A tip for your hospitality." The human said and grabbed the donut box and bit into a glazed one. Suddenly his face shifted from blank and bored to happy and cheerful. This made a big sigh of relieve go through the whole store, and it made most of the patrons clamp there hooves to their mouths.

"Huh? What's that? Speak up I can't hear you!" He said practically switching modes. She's seen this once before back at the castle when he was 'talking' to... Himself. Although she couldn't understand most of what he said anyways; it's a made up langue she was sure of it.

Either way, she had seen be happy once. Maybe she get him to open up? It worked once with Discord, whose to say it can't happen again?

The human had fallen asleep and was lightly snoring. She tried get up but he pulled her back and began to snuggle to it.

"Tyurt shuhnk..." These words Twilight knew well. These were words spoken every night. It means 'sweet dreams'

She chuckled and exhaustion took her. "Tyurt shuhnk," she said back as she too, fell asleep. All the while, the song of Eggmen, Walruses, Pigs played in her head.