Griffon a Hard Time

Chapters

Antsy Expectations
Rainbows and Cupcakes
The Pony in the Mirror
"I thought I had a chance."

Antsy Expectations

Griffon a Hard Time — Chapter 1: Antsy Expectations

This was it. After a full day of flight, a near deadly encounter with a manticore, and a rough night spent in a musty cave, Dash was finally in my sights. The forest was humid, sticky, and miserable. I crept my way through it, brushing into all types of thorny vines and tall grasses. Every now and then, my paws would slosh into hidden mud patches, indistinguishable from the marshy land all around me. Cursing for the fifth time this happened, I shook the muck out and continued towards the edge of the forest. Despite my annoyance, I knew I had to keep low and out of sight. It was too big of a risk to have Dash spot me in the open air or hear me rustle through the dense treetops. Everything depended on me staying grounded and hidden, at least for now.

The full brightness of the morning sun began to permeate the thinning edges of the forest, making my position more conspicuous. I lowered into a stalking stance while tightening my wings close to my body, making sure no part of me stood out from the low underbrush. The package in the crook of my arm pressed hard against my chest. Dash was close now, only a stone's throw away beyond the muggy woodland. I stopped short of the parting copse to settle into a shabby bush. Reasoning that I was in sufficient cover, I braved a quick glance to Dash’s location.

She was on top of a small hill in an open field overlooking Ponyville. I could see her zipping back and forth with an orange pony sporting some cheap cowboy hat, bouncing a red rubber ball between each other in laughter. Near the pair laid a checkered red and white blanket with a dinky, wooden, picnic basket. Four other ponies sat in the warm sunlight on top of the blanket sharing sandwiches, drinks, and a few jokes by the look of their smiles.

Their smiles, it was their smiles that had my tail swishing in irritation.

Having a fun time ya bunch of losers? Enjoying my best friend? Why I bet those dweebs are yucking it up right now about that one day. Why I oughta go over there and beat the living day lights out of …

I stopped with a blank stare of realization of what I was just thinking about. The package fell to the ground.

It was my pride, always my pride - sparking flames of animosity within me. Anger flowed freely from it like the rapids of a frothing river, dialing in on a deep primal urge. I would practical purr in satisfaction when I would let it take over, guiding my base instincts for combat and dominance. However right it felt, or how weak I was to give into it, I had to suppress it. That side of me came with a heavy cost, and I was no longer able to afford such a price: The price of driving away the most important person in the world, Dash. I could not let it happen again, not like that one day.

I pulled myself out of it by slapping my palms against my face, literally trying to beat the poisonous thoughts out of my head. The anger subsided in reluctance, only to be replaced by shooting thoughts of fear and doubt. It was always the same backlash - a constant cycle - an emotional whirlpool. A shutter of stress gripped my body for an instant as beads of sweat started trickling down my forehead, completely unrelated to the heat. I took one deep breath in an attempt to calm my racing mind.

Okay, just shut up, don’t psyche yourself out. Relax. You’ve already made it this far, just go over the list in your head.

Number one, a present for Dash. I looked down at the plain, brown, papered, package at my feet. I sighed quietly in annoyance, could I possibly of done a lousier job with the wrap? Well, I know she’ll like what is inside, so check. Number two, rehearsed speech about being a jerk and apologizing. I wasn’t the most eloquent Griffon alive, but Dash never cared much for words, only action. I’m sure she’ll know where I’m coming from and be accepting. After all, we only had each other at Junior Speedster’s Flight Camp. She can’t hate her only friend from camp forever. With that hope, I could feel a small smile begin to lift on my beak. Check. Number three, keeping your cool and not being a jerk this time around. Uhhh…

My feet shifted nervously in the overgrown grass as my heart started running a race in my chest. I slowly took a peek behind the bush I was hiding in, and could see Dash and her dorky friends having the time of their lives. Wait! They’re not dorky! I rushed back down under the bush, sitting flustered.

You see? This is why you’ll mess it up. Just look at those dweebs, how could Dash become such a… a flipflop!

My pride began to boil as the mental onslaught kicked up again in my head. The played out arguments began rattling off reasons why I should just bail now, or go over there and kick some pony flank, or stick to my poorly crafted plan. Alright, this is seriously starting to piss me off, my inner voice flared.

Pride! We didn’t come this far to mess it up now, just SHUT UP!

“Eeeyaahhh!” In my sudden rage, the yelling in my mind turned into a full blown eagle screech.

Stupid!

Oh dude, did they notice? Maybe they are on their way over to find me out. Okay okay okay, just stay hidden for ten more seconds and then take a peek; stop freaking out.

I froze on the spot, trying to keep absolutely still. My ears strained to catch any approaching hoof steps but my pounding heart only answered in return. It bounced like that crazy pink pony on a trampoline against my chest, drowning out all other sound. My face paled in fear, and although I hate to think about clichés, this had to be the longest ten seconds of my life.

…Eight, nine, gulp ten. I inhaled one last breath and crept upwards slowly, pushing my eyes barely over the hedge. What? They’re beginning to pack up and leave. Yes! Oh, wait no!

I dove back down behind the bush and scowled. This was not going my way. I had specifically planned to come out in private to confront Dash alone, preferably in an empty field or in the open sky. That way, I could always bail if things didn’t go my way, or be able to successfully reach Dash in a sentimental moment with no distractions. But at this point, with my desperation erupting in unintentional ways, I would have settled for a group encounter in the open field; just to get this over with before I did something I would regret.

I rose onto all fours and gave a quick stretch of my wings.

I want this done and over with. I shouldn’t have to be skulking around like some weirdo because I’m not Griffon enough to confront a flip-fl- … friend.

There, you see? You can do this, just play it cool and stick to the plan.

With a growing grin, I swept up the ruffled package into one arm. I turned to the dank forest behind me and started a confident run through the trees. With three powerful down strokes of my wings, I emerged through a clearing in the treetops and into the open Ponyville skies.

Where is she? I can’t believe I lost track of her so easily. Here one moment and gone the next!

Things had not gone well since this morning. When I first burst into the sky, I quickly flew to a great altitude to avoid anypony from discovering me. I could still spot Dash and her friends leaving the field. Stealing from cloud to cloud, my sharp eagle vision kept her in my sights relatively easy. All I had to do now was wait for her to reach an isolated spot, but as she came to the Ponyville marketplace, her small group began to blur among other bustling ponies. I watched helplessly as they came from every roadway, obscuring my vision of Dash. The crowd had swelled to a confusing shifting puzzle of ponies moving in every direction. My eyes strained desperately to regain sight of her. A few minutes passed in aggravation before the humongous crowd began to dissipate, yet it was too late. She had completely disappeared.

For the rest of the day, I scoured all over this lame town to spot that rainbow mane. First I checked her home by punching a hole through her cloud wall to see if she was chilling inside – no luck. From there I jetted over to some rinky-dink apple orchard only to find a huge red pony bucking trees and a whiny little dog. Luckily, they didn’t see me swipe a few apples. The whole place was loaded with them; I’m sure they wouldn’t miss a few. Anyway, with lunch taken care of, I checked every other place a pegasus like Dash would hang out. The whole time I was still clinging to the notion that I could catch her alone, but after hours and hours, I failed to find her at all.

The sun was starting to set, and there I was, sitting all alone on a dark cloud like a lame-o. I could feel my frustrations mounting to the surface.

Why is nothing going my way? I may not come up with the best plans, but this one should have been plainly simple to accomplish. All I had to do this morning was pop out and get to it. I mean, who the heck cares if other ponies were around! Why should that matter? If I came all this way back to Ponyville to make up, why couldn’t I be sensible enough to follow it through? Why am I even getting hysterical? What – is – wrong – with – ME?!

In my sudden flash of mounting rage, I vented my anger on the only item available to me:

The present.

My claws swatted at the package, and my arms sprang upwards with it in my tearing grasp. I could feel my claws trembling in anger as my eyes were set to the orange sky around me. Seconds passed as a breeze rolled in, but it felt like minutes to me. A barrage of noise hit me like a buck to the head, yet amongst the mental screaming only one word came through in a clear tone.

Flipflop.

It was over in an instant. The package sailed across the setting sun, disappearing into some unknown place. Unknown because I just didn’t care anymore. But was it really me that didn’t care, or was it my pride?

A sardonic smile flittered across my beak.

“I’m going to dive down there to get it, aren’t I?” I asked the empty sky.

Without a seconds more hesitation, I back flipped off my small cloud into a headlong dive.

I’m going too fast. I won’t be apologizing to anyone by becoming a splat on the ground.

I worked my wings furiously in order to get a stable draft under my feathers. I needed to slow my suicidal descent. From this lower altitude, I realized I was over some crazy tree with a balcony and windows embedded on its sides. I could hardly take in this bizarre sight as I reminded myself to focus on saving my own life first. In an instant, I caught sight of my package lodged into a few branches of this tree. A split second decision from my braver (or crazier) side had me slowing down into a crash landing near my package.

I tucked my wings in and tumbled through snapping branches and rustling leaves. However stupid my move was, I came out of it comparatively unscathed with my package in claw. After spitting out a few rogue leaves that flew into my mouth, I took a look at the present. The paper wrapping was frayed in a few areas from the fall, but otherwise, it seemed alright. I gave it a cautious shake to hear if anything was damaged. I could feel a small shift in weight but no broken pieces could be heard.

Good, I sighed in relief.

With its safety secured, I could find out what kind of insane tree I was in. I was at the near top with a half circled window right below my position. A faint yellow light came from its frame. I lowered my head from an upside down position to peer inside, and when I did I nearly lost my grip in surprise.

Freaking Dash.

She was standing right there with her back turned towards the window. She was busy fidgeting with a thick book on someone’s bed. Through the thin pane of glass I could hear someone call out to her from the dark doorway, but couldn’t make out who it was. After a few seconds she finally lifted the book onto her back and started towards the doorway, switching off the light. I raised my head back up in confusion.

Should I do it tonight? I could wait until she was completely alone, but I just experienced the insanity of waiting any longer. After all the craziness and complaining and emotional headaches – yes I should do it tonight.

I still felt hesitant. Fear and doubts were stabbing at me, but it wasn’t as strong as before. With my package in arm, I took a gliding leap down to the ground.

I can’t believe it, Dash is in a library of all places. I deadpanned when I saw the book sign. There was no way I would have willingly searched for her here in a million years.

I could hear several voices beyond the wooden door, it sounded like a small crowd of ponies judging from the different voices. Jeez, a crowd, this is going to suck. I readied myself like I was about to fight for my life. I took an extra minute to dust myself off and straighten out my crowning feathers, every bit helps I guessed.

I was about to knock when I heard the voices become a little louder. Are they counting down? It was a bit muffled, but I could tangibly hear a small crowd say, “Ten! Nine! Eight!” in excited voices.

I started to become excited myself, nervously stupidly excited. My mind was racing.

Could they have heard my crash landing and knew I was here, right outside their door about to come in? I was careful to have nopony see me the whole day, but what if one did and tipped Dash off? It just doesn’t make sense, but why else would a bunch of ponies be in one place counting down? Was this, oh no, her party for me again? This is a nightmare, or a second chance.

I audibly gasped at the new realization of reliving that party. It could have been a second chance to stop myself from going on a tirade and insulting everypony. A second chance to be properly introduced to Dash’s new friends and at least try to find some common ground. And above all else, a second chance to simply hang with Dash, like best friends were supposed to do.

This felt so surreal, like a waking dream. I really had no idea what lied beyond that door and what exactly was going on. But I knew one dynamic way to find out.

“Five! Four! Three!”

“Okay Dash,” I whispered. “Whether you’re ready or not, here I come.”

“One!”

I pushed hard against the door, ramming my shoulder against the wood. The door flew open like it wasn’t even there; whipping out from under my weight the instant I made contact. I was catapulted inside into a stumbling mess. My head turned down to my claws as I desperately tried to regain balance. The inertia from my shove however kept me going well into the room, my limbs staggering the whole way.

In the short moments I entered, I took in an avalanche of sensations and sights. The atmosphere felt heavy, thick with something resembling moisture. It had the same quality of a bristling field under the weight of an oppressive thunderstorm. I heard papers rustling, wooden shelves quivering, and books flapping in the wind of an unseen storm. I heard cackling of what I took to be electricity, humming in low but consistent drone close by.

An outcry of gasps met my ears. Only one voice stood out from the commotion though, an old voice that I could never forget.

“G?!”

I snapped my head up to the horrific scene ahead. It was indeed a crowd of ponies, the very same from this morning. They were gathered in a circle around a small purple dragon, its jaw dropped at my sudden appearance. Every face was coated in absolute shock, eyes wide in disbelief. Only Dash’s face was different; our eyes locked. In that one brief glance with each other, it was as if we had a full conversation. I could see anger, alarm, sadness, and the worst of all, fear in her eyes: A fear that I was here to hurt her and her friends.

I felt my heart wither.

In the corner of my eye, my brain finally registered the source of the unknown tempest. The lavender unicorn had jolted its head in my direction; giving me a full sight of what I took to be a huge glowing death ball. The tip of her horn was wrapped in swirling threads of magenta light, radiant as molten lava. Sparks flew wildly off it in all directions as crimson coronas flared dangerously outward – it was a miniature sun of magic. Her face contorted in pain, she was losing control.

“Oh n-n-o, I c-c-can’t h-hold it back!” she exclaimed in panic, her voice cracking under intense pressure.

The ball shot right at me.

“Oh crud,” was all I could say before I was completely engulfed by light.

Rainbows and Cupcakes

Griffon a Hard Time — Chapter 2: Rainbows and Cupcakes

It was so bright. My eyelids instinctively closed, but the blinding magenta had already been burned into my retinas. Every sensory nerve imaginable was lit up in the purest form of pain. Even my hard talons were cut right down to the bone with pain I never knew I could feel. In my mind, I was screaming in agony because I realized I couldn’t work my mouth to do it. No limbs or muscles were responding. I was completely paralyzed by the sheer intensity of it all.

My sense of orientation told me I was falling backwards; however, the impact with the floor could not be felt. I thought I was convulsing, but my brain was so overloaded I really had no idea. All I could focus on was the excruciating pain.

If death was to come, I would run to it rather than from it.

Only a second after that thought, I was pulled into darkness.

I blinked. Everything around me was so serene, so lucid. I found myself on a large flat cloud in the dark blue sky. I looked myself over and saw that I was in perfect condition. There were no longer any scrapes or light bruises from my crash landing. If anything, I looked aglow with sleek feathers and polished claws. I turned my head to my surroundings, stopping to look at the only person with me.

“Dash!”

She bolted straight off the cloud flying incredibly fast. I leapt off after her, working my powerful wings. I was accelerating to top speed, yet I still couldn’t close in on Dash. All I could see of her was thinning rainbow streak, pulling away from me.

“Dash stop, it’s your best friend!”

After a few more yells, Dash still wasn’t slowing down. Suddenly, she veered downwards and disappeared through thick cloud coverage, leaving a lingering rainbow contrail. She was clearly trying to shake me off. My heart leapt to my throat; did she really hate me that much? I wanted to stop then and there to admit defeat, but my pride would have nothing of it.

Oh heck no! After all the crap you went through, you’re going to catch her and teach her some manners.

Instead of despair, anger flared in my chest, fueling my wings to work faster than I had ever done before. I swiftly sped over the same position Dash had dived from, stopping to hover for an instant. I pushed my arms ahead of me, clasping my claws together ready to dive. With one great final flap, I plummeted through the clouds after her.

Speed, all I need is more speed.

My eyes began to leak tears from the utter vertical drop. The winds were howling, whipping against my face from my unstoppable momentum. I was dropping so fast that my feathers and muscles were vibrating. My wings had been tucked in to my sides for maximum velocity, yet I still could not catch sight of her through the dense cloud coverage. After half a minute, I realized for the first time just how high Dash and I had started from. As I finally broke through the hazy clouds, I saw the whole world spread beneath me – from horizon to horizon.

Im-freaking-possible.

In my whole life of flying, I had never seen the world from this distance before. From the northern lands of snow capped mountains in Griffon territory, to the southern coastal villages of Equestria – it all appeared like a tiny model.

Through a thin veil of streaking tears, my eyes picked up on Dash. She was flying downward at an angle, pitting herself against the buffeting winds. As a Griffon, I was naturally built for rapid dives to hunt prey, unlike pegasai. I flared my wings open to flap in deep strokes every several seconds, giving me bursts of speed. I was closing in on her …

What just touched my arm?

For a split second, I felt something thick rub itself on my forearm ever so lightly. I quickly pushed it out of my mind. No distractions, stay focused. You’re almost there.

My distance with Dash had shrunk to a mere kilometer, yet at the same time, the ground was speeding ever closer. From the corners of my eyes, I could now pick out more definitive details of differing Equestrian cities. Dash however made no movements to pull up.

“I am not losing her,” I snarled.

Half a kilometer now, she’ll know... What the heck is touching me!?

Again on my forearm something was rubbing gently against it, almost like it was trying to comfort me. I took my eyes off Dash to look over my body, nothing was wrong. I was alone and could see no signs of misplaced feathers or any other disturbances. Deal with it later, you’re so close.

I looked back to Dash to see her only fifty meters off. Her wings were beating slower against the prevailing winds, her form becoming sloppy and sluggish. She was exhausted. The vision of her weakened state was kicking my hunting instinct into high gear. Adrenaline began flooding into my veins, giving me a type of fliers high. A feeling of exhilaration washed over me, sharpening my senses and tightening my form. She was finally in reach; I extended my claws to her tail and left hind leg.

“Daaassh!” I roared.

“G! We’re going to crash!”

“Huh?!”

Spluttering, I took a look past her to see the ground dangerously speeding towards us. I was so focused on Dash and caught up in the moment; I had failed to keep in mind the most basic rule of flying: Never crash going over 300 kilometers per hour.

The apple orchard in Ponyville could clearly be seen now by our low altitude, and with my grasp on Dash, I had messed up her flying form. She was twisting and turning in my claws, no longer in control of her flight from my interference and her complete exhaustion.

Oh no.

With all my might, I swiftly flapped while pulling my body upwards; but after all my years of flight, I knew deep down it was too late. We were simply going too fast. In desperation, I aimed for a particularly large apple tree to somewhat cushion our imminent crash. My eyes widened in panic, and before I knew it, I pulled Dash in close to my body trying to leverage her above me so I would take the brunt of the collision instead of her. I felt a hot tear escape my eye, dissipating in the wind along with my anger.

“Dash…” I sobbed, “I’m sor –

Blackness.

Cupcakes. I smell cupcakes.

There was something soft and warm under me, nestling my numb body. My eyelids fidgeted, they felt heavy along with the rest of me. I could hear a few indistinct whispers around me and something shuffling along on the floor. Everything sounded odd, like it was muffled under a pillow or set underwater.

Cupcakes, why does it smell like Cupcakes? It’s like that dumb party all over again, but wait; there is something important I’m forgetting.

My mind was full of dull pain signals, sensory nerves complaining all the aches in my body. I could feel the poor circulation of my blood, injecting a tingling sensation to my brain; making it hard to collect my thoughts. I was mentally groping for something gravely important, like it was the answer to all my questions.

Cupcakes... Pinkie... party... Dash!

The memories of our flight came in fast lightning strikes, pounding into my inner vision one right after another. I could see it all: The eerie dark blue sky, the thinning rainbow trail, the dive, winds whipping all around me, clouds everywhere, the world, Dash flailing in my grasp, and the crash.

Against the enormous lead-like feeling in my whole body, I sprang upwards with all I was worth. My eyes snapping open, I saw briefly a shadowed room with a purple dragon pacing and a couple ponies turned away from me. A plate of cupcakes sat nearby on a small stool.

“Dash!” I yelled.

Something wasn’t right. My back felt curved, setting me off balance. Before I could tell who was who and where I was, I began tilting sideways – collapsing over the side of my bed and into the unforgiving floor.

I heard loud, high pitched gasps of shock, but couldn’t make out make out most of their words.

“Oh my g-sh, nurse c--- quic---!”
“Twi-----, lift her w--- your m---- gently. S-- is in ------- condition, do it s-----.”

The next thing I saw was the green tiled floor moving away from me as I was levitated upwards and sideways back into a white bed. I was easily placed down with my head propped against a few pillows, shifting my vision outward to the room. I could hear the distant sound of hooves galloping in a hallway towards my direction. Vaguely recognizable ponies gushed into the room. I counted seven in total excluding the dragon, but only the blue one stood out from the crowd.

Their mouths began moving, but I could only hear a muted wash of noise. I lifted my claws to my ears trying to –

What the heck.

Something flat and round was pushing against the side of my head. I knew what it felt like, but I couldn’t believe it. The thought of it would not go away though, no matter how hard I tried to refuse it. The idea clung to my mind, forcing the numbness out of my body to finally persuade my senses that it was indeed true. The feeling of my limbs started to focus in. Like a dam with water bursting through it, the strangeness of my body flooded my nerves, relaying impossible information to my brain. My tail wasn’t there anymore, or at least, I couldn’t feel the latter swishing parts of it. I felt the stub of its beginning with strands of hair flowing beneath my hindquarters. My legs felt thick, and my wings trembled against my body - feeling smaller and lower on my sides. My ears twitched, folding flat against my head in distraught.

Griffon ears can’t do that. No, just stop, close your eyes. Don’t look down, for the love of God, don't look down!

My eyelids tightened shut, scrunching my muzz –

I have a muzzle?!

That was the final straw. My eyes flew open I as jerked my head, staring down at my body.

The muffled voices stopped, and I could feel a strong gaze pressed against me. The pressure in my eardrums changed, and after ten more seconds, I was finally able to take in full sound. Nothing. There was only absolute silence. The atmosphere of the small crowded room was heavy with awkwardness.

As I looked back up, I saw Pinkie bouncing forward from the line; taking a short pause to pick up a white frosted cupcake from the stool. She pushed her beaming face only an inch away from my new muzzle with the biggest smile I had ever seen in my life.

“So Gilda, would you like one? I made it just for you!”

The Pony in the Mirror

Griffon a Hard Time – Chapter 3: The Pony in the Mirror

Her bright blue eyes were wide, brimming with eagerness. She had swept her face in so close to mine it would have knocked me silly if I hadn’t jolted my head backwards into the pillows nestled behind me. Her body loomed over mine while her brilliant smile gleamed on, showing she held no shame for being this uncomfortably close.

Had this crazy mare never heard of personal space?!

Before I could object to being nearly assaulted by Pinkie, she pulled away from me. Her hoof whipped forward. In it lay a perfectly balanced cupcake topped with white frosting, decorated by gold and brown sprinkles.

“Go on, it’s delicious~” she sang out.

I eyed it suspiciously, hesitant to move any part of my aching body. Shifting my sight back to Pinkie, she met my nervous glance with foal-like innocence. She gave an encouraging nod to the cupcake, her smile growing so large it started to look scary. Tilting my head to the side, I took a peek past her cotton-candy-like mane to the line of ponies behind her. All eyes were on me. They’re faces bent forward with the oddest mix of anticipation and worry. It was as if they expected me to do a magic trick or punch Pinkie, the latter being a much more attractive choice personally. My drifting gaze fell on a pair of magenta eyes. Dash snapped her head away from me on immediate eye contact, taking a sudden, yet strained, interest at the nearby window. A small cold shudder shot down my spine.

Was she embarrassed? Did she still hate me?

I brought my sight back to the floating cupcake in front of me feeling a bit more confused, a bit more hurt.

With a short sigh, I began to lift my left cla – hoof towards the treat.

My small motion was a battle against gravity, my muscles straining just to lift my own foreleg. My golden hoof crept upwards, its hair meshing into a smooth brown coat that ran along my upper foreleg. In that small moment where my hoof hung suspended in space, it dawned upon me just how severe my loss was. This yellowed hoof had replaced my greatest tool; and more than that, it had replaced my identity. Without it, I could no longer hunt, fight, or precisely handle objects around me. I felt sickened to see this useless, inflexible excuse for a limb replace my sharp prehensile claws. I might as well have been amputated.

I narrowed my eyes in concentration as I closed in on Pinkie’s hoof. She gently slid the base of the cupcake into my quivering hoof. I took one deep breath to steady myself, and the cupcake leveled into a near balanced state. As I bent my foreleg backwards to my awaiting mouth, a spasm of pain struck me like lightning. My muscles buckled into a fiery cramp that had my mind reeling on how such a simple move could cause this much agony. On sudden reflex to the sight of the toppling cupcake, my right foreleg swung over my body in a wild attempt to save it. Instead of open claws to take hold of the cupcake, it was met with a blunt hoof that slapped it across the room. The top of the cupcake lay grounded into the tile, its icing splattered.

My cheeks flushed.

Smooth move Gilda.

“Whoopsie, don’t you worry Gilda. Let me just get you anoth-“

“Pinkie, I don’t think now is the time for that,” chided an anxious voice.

Pinkie stepped aside, turning to face the group.

A lavender unicorn stepped forward. Our eyes locked and she wavered instantly, shrinking back a few inches. I could feel the heat in my face build, not with embarrassment this time, but with hot rage. My former griffon self flashed in my mind’s eye. In it, I launched myself off the bed with one great gust of my wings, slamming the petrified mare against the wall. As I held her off the floor with one claw clutched to her throat, I shot my other claw to her horn. With a malicious smile, I snapped it off with one quick jerk as she screamed in pure terror.

Back in reality, she must have sensed the black thoughts resonating off me like echoes through a desolate cave. She stayed rooted on the spot, too hesitant to take another step towards me. The purple dragon rushed to her side and patted her shoulder in friendly encouragement.

“Come on Twilight, she won’t bite,” he chuckled lightly, yet his voice uneasy with doubt.

She gave him a quick smile and focused back on me. With the same caution of walking through a minefield, she gingerly made her way to the side of my bed.

I knew what was coming, and I wasn’t interested in what she was selling. This was the same unicorn that nearly killed me, and even though I was surrounded by all these ponies, I didn’t care to feign good manners to hear a cheap apology. It was only by good fortune on her part that I was too weak to act on my impulse to maul her.

She came to a stop on my right side, her expression etched with guilt. My eyes were set squarely on hers in an unblinking glare. She took one last breath.

“Gilda, I want to say that I’m —“

“Stop.”

She took a step back like I had just struck her.

“Just get me a mirror,” I said in a dangerous tone.

“Oh, o-o-okay.” She spun on the spot and hurried back to the group of ponies.

“Nurse Redheart? Where can I find a large mirror for Gilda?”

“Oh well, I have one down on the first floor, but I can get it myse-“

“Oh, but I insist on helping you Nurse Redheart!” Twilight exclaimed.

Without waiting for her response, she nearly ran out the room. The nurse shrugged and turned to me.

“Be back in a moment dear,” she said with a strained smile, and left the room shutting the door quickly behind her.

The room fell into a heavy silence once more.

Nopony made any move towards me; one actually stumbled backwards in fright when I caught her staring at me. It was the same yellow wimp that had the bright idea of walking ducks in the middle of the street without looking where she was going. I was slightly amused that she could be this afraid of me in my weakened and… unique state.

I tried again to catch Dash’s attention again, yet she conveniently turned away to comfort the cowering butter-colored pony.

Damn it Dash.

I didn’t know what to really think. Part of me wanted to scream at her, to jump out of bed and shake her. I wanted at least some sliver of acknowledgement to let me know that she still held some value from our shattered friendship. Another part of me, the stronger side, wanted to stay silent and let the ice build between us for the time being.

She needed to make her move now. I was the victim here — I had nearly died for crying out loud! The situation was in my favor since I was lying in what could have been my death bed. She had to come to me. I couldn’t face the shame of begging for her forgiveness, especially not under these circumstances. Sure I wanted to become friends again, but I had to stay strong in the process. I couldn’t appear weak and I didn’t want to admit I was totally wrong either; my original plan never called for total submission. My pride was too strong for that.

A griffon is a brave, prideful, majestic creature. You must always stay strong, stay independent, stay fierce. You will know how to give pain, and more importantly — take pain. That is what my father taught me, that is what my father had beaten into me. Always stay strong, he said…

I cringed.

A sense of exhaustion washed over me. I laid my head flat against the bed, feeling emotionally spent.

Hushed whispers broke out beyond my bed. I could catch a few words, my name being one of them. Not caring for what was being said, I kept my body still hoping the pain would ebb away. After a few more seconds, the whispers stopped to be replaced by trotting hooves approaching my direction.

Out of the corner of my eye, a white unicorn came to the left side of my bed. Her horn glowed in a light blue aura as the splattered cupcake lifted off the ground. She took an extra second to aim, and the cupcake flew into a nearby trash bin with neat precision. She turned to me.

“Well we couldn’t have had that mess stay there all day,” she said elegantly, taking one step closer to me. “Now could we?” Her mouth lifted into a kind smile.

I turned my head, meeting her rich azure eyes. Icy silence hung in the air for a full minute as her gentle smile was becoming a strained pull by each passing second.

“What?” I finally asked in annoyance.

“Oh, well… Your coat! Yes your coat, it’s very sleek dear.”

“Okay…”

“And your hooves, what a nice shade of yellow.”

“…”

“And your visage, its —“

“Are you coming on to me?” I interrupted, knowing that wasn’t true. I just wanted to get her away from me.

“What?! No!” she faltered backwards, her smile falling into an agitated frown.

She turned back to the ponies, her eyes pleading for them to help.

“Oh oh! Is this like that one story?” Pinkie chirped as she bounced next to the white unicorn. “Oh what big eyes you have Gilda.” She snorted a giggle at her own joke.

“Pinkie, my compliments were no where close to that foalish story,” the white unicorn said, rolling her eyes.

If it wasn’t for the pain I was in, I would have face hoofed. Instead, I settled on rolling my body to the other side of the bed, turning my head away.

“Now now, we’re just fixin’ to help Gilda,” said somepony, her voice laced with a country accent.

“Isn’t that grrrr right Flutter- hummph shy?”

I poked my head up, and watched the orange pony shove Fluttershy towards me. Her hooves were placed on both flanks while Fluttershy desperately resisted, digging all her hooves against the tile. Unfortunately for her and me, she still slid slowly across the flat surface.

“Come on Fluttershy, its not like she’s going to spring out of bed and attack you!” piped the purple dragon, running forward to help the orange pony drag her closer.

Not yet at least.

She cried out in a surprisingly soft voice for somepony being forced against her will, squeaking and flailing her legs extra hard as she approached me.

“Bu-bu-but,” she stammered, coming to a stop at the base of my bed.

I took in her sorry quaking form, feeling a heavy hatred stir within me. Seeing her snivel in such weakness, such fear was arousing a dark beast in the pit of my chest. It clawed its way to my mind, leaving a sickening chill in its wake that gripped my heart. The beast solidified into a single thought — that she was the embodiment of everything wrong I knew to be.

Finally fed up by her pathetic display, I gave out the least offensive response I could muster at that moment.

“Well? Spit it out already,” I snarled.

Her eyes widened in fear. She promptly jumped to the side and scampered behind the orange pony, her head lowered in fear.

“Don’t do that,” called the only pony not gathered around me.

My heart dropped. Dash lifted off the ground and flew over in one quick motion. She came to a stop besides the orange pony.

“Well look who it is, better late than never,” I said through gritted teeth. Her face hardened, yet there was something off about her.

“Hold on there gals,” said the orange pony in a careful voice. “You two are friends, ain’t ya?”

Neither of us responded. Dash and I were locked into a fierce staring contest, anger boiling between us. My wings bristled with fury.

“Dash…” spoke the orange pony in a sad voice, “You can’t be seriously mad at her? Fer landsakes girl, you leapt to her rescue last night before any of us made a move! You rushed her to the hospital yerself, and stood by her side all night. Don’t you remember when I saw you silently weeping at her bedside, stroking her arm?”

I felt an invisible weight press against my chest as my mind sparked with new awareness. A light dawned upon me, yet it brought an unspeakable dread that cut deep into my mind. Something was running rampant inside me, flooding my being with the same heart-pounding doubt I felt yesterday morning.

My left hoof flickered. I witnessed it instinctively limp over to my lower right foreleg, falling on a familiar spot. The hoof caressed lightly against my fur, bringing back a mysterious comfort I had once thought to be imagined as I fell from the heavens above in pursuit of my former friend.

My head lifted, my eyes meeting her shimmering magenta eyes.

“Dash…”

Bang!

The door blew back against the wall, sending everypony jumping nearly out of their skins in fright. Protruding from the doorway was the wooden edge of something large covered in a magical glow. After a few more seconds of delay and muffled bickering beyond the doorway, a large wooden stand mirror floated into the room followed by a blushing Twilight and an annoyed Nurse Redheart.

“Sorry everypony,” said Twilight with a sheepish smile, setting down the mirror. “The mirror bashed against the door when somepony shoved me without warning,” she added in irritation.

“Well dear, you would have stayed outside that door all day worrying your head off if I didn’t give you a nudge,” shot back the nurse with no attempt to hide her exasperation.

Everypony around my bed sprang up to meet Twilight with relieved smiles, breaking out into small talk. Dash zipped on over to greet her, but instead of hanging around to chit chat, she faded to back of the room into a shadowed corner. Beyond the shuffling ponies, I could catch a few glimpses of her. She kept her head low, eyes averted away from me as if my gaze pressed her into retreat.

I wasn’t the only one to notice Dash hiding. The orange pony broke from the group to take a few measured steps towards her. Over the din, I caught just enough of her words to anxiously listen in.

“Rainbow, wha’chya doin’?”

“Shhhh!” Dash quickly waved her down with a hoof. Dash took one wary glance in my direction catching my eyes for a brief second. She snapped away as if she couldn’t bear to see me. She wrapped a foreleg around the orange pony and turned their backs into me, entering into a whispered conversation.

A familiar despair lapped into my senses. I felt like Dash was slipping away into a dark void, and the worst part about it was that she was letting herself go with no regret, no complaint.

At the sign of weakness, my old pride kicked in — injecting frustration and anger to overwhelm the sadness in my heart.

I tore my eyes away from Dash to Twilight. She was still talking, wearing a bright smile because she was surrounded by true friends. A few stray laughs from the group set the perfect scene for a mare like her. She was happy, because she never had problems that were remotely close to mine. She could never understand the sheer misery I had experienced throughout my life. She also couldn't understand how much grief she had inflicted upon me with the stroke of a single spell. The friendly group was a picture of paradise, and a glass barrier had been set between me and them, between me and Dash. I was just a pitiful creature only allowed to observe, but never to experience the same joy they brought to one another…

A red flash crossed my eyes. I finally lashed out.

“Get me the mirror!” I bellowed.

The chatter stopped instantly. Everypony turned to face me.

“Oh! Of course Gilda, I’m sorry, but I for-“

“Just get it,” I said in a steely voice.

The mirror became enveloped by the same magenta glow I hated. It flew to the base of my bed, the glass rising above its edge.

Before I began to take a look, I struggled to right myself into a sitting position. The pain wasn’t as bad from the first moment I woke up, but it still smothered my motions to a slow and painful crawl.

“Gilda, let us help you. You’re strugg-“

One poisonous glance was enough to shut Twilight up. The ponies fell back in the same line formation from when Pinkie first approached me. Two ponies were absent however, Dash and the orange pony kept to the corner. The only difference was that they were now facing me, or at least one of them was. Dash kept her head lowered, taking up a staring contest with the floor.

Coward.

I moved my hooves to press against the mattress, pushing my body up to rest on my haunches. My teeth gritted in pain, yet I never stopped moving. I fought through the pain, almost happy to feel it light up my whole body. It brought a sense of purpose — a type of ‘no pain no gain’ achievement.

My body stilled in an upright position, and I finally lifted my face to peer into the mirror.

My first impression was that I had stayed exactly the same. My colors remained almost completely unchanged from my griffon form. My amber eyes were masked in my natural markings of light lavender. My head and neck was covered in pearly white fur while long tufts of hair jutted out beyond my forehead. The edges of these tufts were coated with the same light lavender of my eye markings. The rest of my body retained the same shade of brown. With some effort, I gently extended one of my wings to the side to see it coated in the same dark shades of brown, akin to my original griffon wings. My white ears rose above my head, and with one thought, they folded down and back up. It was an experience I had never felt before. With a twitch of my tail, I saw its silky strands flow with a lush shade of bronze that darkened at its tip.

Hmmm, I wonder.

I turned my leg to the side, holding my breath in anticipation.

Blank. My flank was absent of any symbol, or what ponies called it, a ‘cutie mark’. My hoof fell to the absent area, rubbing the fur in longing.

My vision floated off the mirror to the shadowed corner, meeting Dash eye to eye.

She didn’t back down this time. She kept her face square on mine, her expression unreadable. A whisper drifted in my brain. It was indistinct, yet it carried a horrible feeling. It was me this time that finally relented. I recoiled in fear, ripping my eyes off Dash and back again to my reflection.

Both of my hooves glided to my face and clasped onto my pale cheeks. My eyes widened in horror, and I felt something drop in my chest, releasing an icy ripple to every corner of my body. The whisper crescendoed into a crystal clear statement. With my eyes glued to the pony in the mirror, I mouthed these deadly words:

Was it because of this?

"I thought I had a chance."

Griffon a Hard Time – Chapter Four: “I thought I had a chance.”

The pony stared back at me, scared and unknown. Her amber eyes were far off and dim, as if the fiery sharpness that normally glimmered within them had been completely smothered. The muscles surrounding her lavender mask was wrought with lines of fear that slackened her once lustrous, pearly, face into the looseness of misery. Two golden hooves clung desperately to her cheeks. My cheeks. The force had numbed to a light pressure that bore almost no feeling – like someone who wore glasses and no longer felt their intrusive presence.

The reflection pressed a murky uneasiness into the pit of my stomach. It wasn't her pony features that disturbed me, but her foreign look of abject despair. I couldn't see one ounce of grit in her helpless eyes, only vulnerability. It was the same look I seen a few times on my hunt. A weak creature of prey would have the rare chance of surviving my initial dive strike. After being torn and slammed into the ground, it would rise on trembling legs as fresh blood flowed freely down its body from the lethal gash across its neck. It always raised its head to stare at my advancing figure with the same look I saw now of the pony in the mirror. They knew that the end was near, and so they rose not to fight, but to stare at their inevitable death with stricken awe. To those rare few, it was the end of their lowly lives. To me, to the pony in the mirror, it was the end of my griffon identity. And perhaps also, the end of my redemption with Dash.

A wave of disgust ran over my body. With a slight shudder, I glanced away from the mirror to the green tiles of my hospital room floor. It hurt – not the physical pain, but the ideas swirling around in my tired mind. I had lost my griffon identity, but now that I thought about it, the bulk of the agony came from the idea of losing Dash forever; I wasn't sure. Torment like this was confusing and shifting, akin to dark mist shrouded over a rocky shore, blocking out the lighthouse of discernment.

My head lifted a few inches, slowly turning towards the shadowed corner of my room. I only felt the raw urge of formless emotion driving my muscles to action, a blind movement that was absent of any intelligible thought. As blue forelegs came into view, I realized that I still wanted to see Dash. My head stopped. The tufts of hair over my forehead sheltered my eyes from seeing any more of her. I rose my hoof in a steady motion, closing it on the tufts to move them aside. Yet as the hoof grazed against my temple, I felt the distinct, alien, bluntness of having a hoof. I couldn't face Dash, not now. I was a pony, and I needed different answers first.

Instantly, my head swiveled away from Dash's direction to Twilight Sparkle.

“Hey you, get over here.”

My voice was cutting and short. No matter how much torture I had endured, physically and emotionally, I had to keep true to myself. No weakness, only aggressiveness; no intimidation, only assertiveness – a deeper truth surfaced to my mind for a split second: this was the only way I knew how to live in a world that showed no mercy on the helpless. I had seen enough to know that firsthand.

Twilight's eyes flickered left and right in slight panic. For a brief moment, her eyes shot over to the window as if she was actually considering a jump through it worth the effort to escape me.

“I ain't got all day!” I snapped.

She took a few tepid steps towards me, coming around the mirror to the right side of my bed post.

“I got a few questions, but first off, get this mirror out of here. I'm tired of looking at this lame pony form.”

Without a word, Twilight enveloped the wooden stand mirror in her magical magenta light and swept it away to the left side of the room. It was just me and her now. I took one deep breath to steady my quickening heart. Looking Twilight square in the eye, I brought my hooves down in a sweeping gesture to my sides.

“How did this happen.”

I could hear the small yet distinct clip clop of Twilight shuffling her hooves against the floor tiles.

“Gilda, you must understand that it was an accident.”

“That doesn't answer my question.”

“Well... Last night was the product of a very difficult spell that took weeks of study and preparation, and a lifetime of magical skill to create. However, it was not meant for you.”

“Obviously. Something that could cause this much trouble to warrant a lame pony hospital visit could not have gone as swimmingly as you might have hoped. Way to screw it up dweeb.

“When I said it wasn't for you, I meant that the spell was not tailored for you species. You shouldn't even be here.”

“...What do you mean.”

“It's a miracle you're still alive.”

“Are you saying that you thought I wasn't tough enough to survive your petty, little, light show of lame pony magic?”

“No! Gilda relax – please. This spell was highly complex magic that involved many variables. It took all my ability just to contain it into one straight burst that night. The spell could have rebounded back on us and exploded. It wasn't just a miracle for you life, but really, all our lives. We got the best out of all the worst possible outcomes that night.”

“Speak for yourself. Do I look like I'm in the 'best' of shape? Do I look happy to you?”

“No...”

“Then give me some real answers!”

“I think I can help you with that.” The new voice sailed from a yellow swinging door. In strode a tawny colored unicorn with a wavy brown mane and tail. He wore a typical doctor's jacket that clung snugly around his upper body. Tucked neatly under his jacket was a simple black tie; his flank was adorned by the image of a monitor with a spiked lifeline dashed across it. His gait was confident, complimented by his keen sky-blue eyes and smug smile. He trotted past Twilight to the side of my bed in irritating closeness. Without warning, he drew his head forward in a scrutinizing gaze at my pony facial features. His face dipped lower to inspect my naked body without the slightest trace of hesitancy or shame. I couldn't help but jerk back a little at his intrusive presence; a jolt of pain fired off in my body to remind me of my limited movement – so a slap to his face was not advisable for the sake of my ragged body. His head tilted to the side to catch glimpse of my smaller wings and bronze coated tail, but his gaze froze for a moment upon seeing my bare flank. With a quiet hmmm, he pulled back up in distant interest. His eyebrows furrowed, and his mouth drew tight across his muzzle in pensive wonder, as if he held an incomplete solution to an interesting puzzle.

Several seconds passed as I still stared at him, not quite believing that he had just done that without receiving a serious thrashing from me. Instead, I opted for more my usual sarcasm.

“Oh, you're excused by the way,” I quipped sardonically.

Instead of a witty retort, his response seemed much more dangerous. His horn suddenly glowed with the same sky-blue color of his eyes. A magical aura formed over his front coat pocket, and out popped a plastic package containing a single syringe.

“Gilda, was it? I am going to need you to extend your foreleg please,” he said as he slipped the needle and tube out of the package.

“You're kidding, right?” I couldn't quite keep all of the apprehension out of my voice. The syringe had now been fully assembled – it wafted towards me with its needle taking aim at my immovable right foreleg.

“He- hey, hey! I don't even know your name or what the heck your trying to put in me!” My voice went shrill as a last defense against the enclosing needle.

He blinked, his focused expression waning into light shock. The occurrence of stabbing a patient without any formal introduction or explanation seemed to be an acceptable practice to him, judging by his bewildered eyes. In an attempt to save face, the tawny unicorn cleared his throat with a small cough and straightened his head into a well mannered pose. I watched the needle drop to his side with a sigh of relief, yet it wasn't put away – it merely hung suspended in space by his magical aura.

“Please excuse my… abruptness. The nature of being a doctor sometimes lets me get a bit carried away,” he added with a wry smile. “My name is Dr. Stable Pettimore House, but please, just call me Dr. Stable.”

“Right...” I replied in wariness, still keeping a close eye on floating syringe.

“Now Gilda, I'm sure you want to recover from your pain. This is a potent mixture of medicine and pain killer enhanced by magic to repair muscle atrophy and alleviate symptoms of anemia. By my calculations, you should make a great enough recovery by the end of the day to be released from the hospital. So please,” his tone softened as he stooped his head in a small plea, “allow me to administer the dosage.”

“With that needle?”

“Yes.”

“I never heard of such a crazy thing.”

“Now dear, you surely can't mean that?” came the soft feminine voice of Nurse Redheart. She trotted over to the side of Dr. Stable. “You must have had shots before.” She sounded sure of herself, until she caught the empty glance of genuine denial on my face. “Haven't you?” she added in a worried tone.

“No,” I replied.

“No?” she repeated, not quite believing such an answer was possible. “But... how? Didn't you grow up with–“

“No!” I half yelled. I felt my heart twist and my face cringe into severity. The last thing I wanted to do was explain a part of my past to a group of impersonal ponies I barely knew; not even Dash knew the whole story of how I was raised and she was my best friend – my only friend. I did not want to travel down that black road of memories. These ponies had seen enough of my sorrow and frustration. The more I reacted, the more I betrayed my restless spirit, the weaker I was. I had to parry this topic as quick as I could while still maintaining a level of casualness and composure.

“Yeah yeah, if the doc says this junk will get me out of here sooner, then lets get this over with.” I forced my face into the straightness of confidence, trying my best to not reveal any errant twitch of doubt. The doctor and nurse had turned to each other for a brief moment. At the same time, they broke away from each other to stare back at me with skeptically raised eyebrows.

“Hey doc, do your job already,” I said hotly.

He lifted the the syringe once more and took aim at the right side of my body. “Please extend your foreleg, or if you need help, I can–“

“Nah, I can do it.” I lifted my foreleg in hasty determination, forcing it to stay straight without the deliberate easiness of bending it upwards. My teeth gritted in pain, but I kept my mouth impassive to hide any sign of distress. My foreleg became fully raised, taut and slightly quivering, with the heavy load of soreness kindling a growing, incessant, fire within every muscle of my foreleg. The doctor injected the syringe above my elbow, or at least, were my elbow used to be. The pinprick of pain was minor annoyance lost in the inferno of discomfort. I felt a strange coolness of chemicals being let loose inside my foreleg. It first crept down to my hoof and back up into my rigid shoulder, dousing the fire of pain all throughout its journey. A wave of bliss lapped into my senses that provided such relief, I had to lay back down against my pillow in complete stillness to fully soak in the respite of sublime comfort. With a self-contented smile, the doctor glanced down at me.

“Feeling good? The medicine has immediate effects but will wear down soon. Its main purpose is for long term recovery, so don't get the idea that you are instantly healed. You will need to still rest for the remainder of the day to ease your body into full recovery. Like I said, don't be surprised when the pain returns after a little while.”

“Dr. Stable?”

“Yes Twilight?”

“How come the medicine didn't have any effect last night?”

“I didn't expect it too, but I was desperate enough to see if it would.”

“Why is it working now? It's the same medicine as before, isn't it?” replied Twilight's voice.

“It is, but Gilda wasn't who she was last night as she is now.”

“What do you mean?” My voice was calm, yet my motion to sit upwards was stressed by a quick jerk to face Dr. Stable with leery eyes.

“You were still a griffon when you were brought into the hospital, and this magically infused medicine does not work on griffons.” he said simply.

“So when did I become a pony?”

“Not sure, I had to sleep soon after tending to your critical condition. Nurse Redheart, did you record the time for Gilda's transformation?”

“Yes,” she walked to the front frame of my bed and brought up a clipboard in her hoof. “9:01A.M.”

My eyes raced to the north wall. The clock hanging behind the line of ponies read 10:32A.M. “Isn't that... unusual? I may not know much about pony magic, but from what I'd seen, I would have thought the spell to be instantaneous.” I turned to face Twilight. Surprisingly, she held her ground this time.

“For most spells, yes. My magic last night, however, was specifically created for Spike.”

“Spike? What do you mean?”

Before she could give an answer, the purple dragon ran forward besides Twilight with a sheepish grin.

She beamed at him. “This is my number one assistant,” she added brightly, with a hint of pride in her voice. “He volunteered courageously to undertake my most difficult experiment to date: full transformation spells. This branch of magic is of a high tier – to correctly transfigure a whole living form into another is quite the feat. I've actually done it once before when I was a small filly. The raw arcane energies erupted in an uncontrolled fit during my magic exam, turning my nearby parents into a cactus plant and–“

“Yeah okay, enough with the trip down memory lane,” I interrupted brashly. “What's this have to do me directly.”

Twilight was caught off guard. “Well,” she started again slowly, “a full-fledged transformation spell must be cautiously prepared. I spent weeks refining and tuning my magic to the wave-length of this spell while studying Spike's energy field in order to correctly prepare the spell for his body. It was a one of a kind spell, built for the sole purpose of turning Spike the dragon, into Spike the pony. The power of the spell had a three day time limit in order to gather data and observe the effects of pony physiology on a dragon. The experiment was highly specific and not intended for anypony else. When one deals with magic at this caliber of complexity and power, no mistakes can be allowed. I can't be certain on how this spell affected you Gilda. The delay in time of you becoming a pony leads me to believe that your griffon physiology and energy field was rejecting the magic. All creatures have a latent energy field harmonized with their body type. For instance, griffons and pegasi can cloud walk – that is a form of passive magic intrinsic of their energy field. My hypothesis is that at some point in your coma this morning, your body finally decided to absorb the magic. I have no idea why that happened, but we're all glad it did – for if it hadn't the magic would have destroyed your body.” She paused for a brief moment to wait for my response. None came.

The room stood still and breathless. It was as if an explosion rocked overhead that pressed everypony into an eerie silence. In the explosion's wake came the force of a vibrating shock-wave that chilled over my bones with a sense of dread. The unspoken words of “the magic would have killed you,” rang as shell-shock to my blindsided brain. I felt a stark awareness pervade into my skin and crawl its way through my body. It rose as a cold chill, as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped from the bottom of my body and traveled upwards to my head. The feeling pooled into my consciousness, giving it the form of coherent thought. It whispered, “look at it, this is your life – this is who you are: Gilda the pony. Feel it, taste it, hear it, see it, smell it – live with it.” It was mocking me. The sense of icy dread vanished, replaced by the bleak solemnity of reality.

“–Gilda?”

Why me? I had good intentions, didn't I? I thought I did everything right this time. I thought I had a chance. Dash met so much to me, so very much.

“–Umm... Gilda?”

I wish that was real instead; my dream of sacrifice. I would have gladly accepted death in that form to save her, rather than suffer to see her drift away. I saw her face before we hit the ground, and she understood. Dash held the hint of a heartfelt smile that couldn't form in time – but I saw it – I understood.

“–Is she sick?”

My body absorbed the magic... that is what she said. The transformation happened not too long ago. Was it... Did I make it happen on purpose? I was mad at Dash at first, desperately trying to reach her in our dive. But I felt my heart change with two simple words: Oh no.

“–Should I call an extra nurse?”

The room focused into view again. My eyes had been open, but empty of sight. The end of the bed frame appeared in my vision. The edge of the pale green mattress held two brown equine legs in complete deadness. I rose my head to find everypony, and Spike, closed in on me. I was surrounded on all sides.

“Gilda?” asked Twilight.

“What...” came my lifeless voice.

“We all wanted to know why you came to the library last night.”

I scoffed. “I ain't telling.” My head bowed away. I didn't want them to see my eyes; they would have revealed too much.

“Gilda, yer our responsibility now. Yah can't shut us out, we have tah help ya through this,” spoke a southern accent.

“Oh really?” I laughed, the sound was bitter and tinged with a hint of sadness. My head tore upward to hone on the shy yellow pegasus. She eeped and scampered backwards, but stumbled against the smooth tiles and fell down on her haunches. “So much for responsibility.”

“Pardon her Gilda, she just hasn't got to know you yet,” replied Rarity.

“Hilarious, oh man this is just priceless!” I jeered, still keeping my eyes locked on Fluttershy. “You know what? I actually prefer it this way. Just look at her, at least she's honest. She wants nothing to do with me; she can't wait to leave this dump. I wish the rest of you could take from her example.”

“What do you mean Gilda?” asked Twilight, her voice hushed to almost a whisper.

“Get. Lost. I don't need your help. I don't need your pity. Don't treat me like I'm some helpless stray dog that your obligated to take care of. Haven't you done enough damage already? You heard it straight from the doc, by the end of the day I'm out of here.”

“But... where are you going to go?” asked Spike.

“That's my problem, not yours.”

“Gilda, the original time limit of the spell was three days. But given the unpredictable side-effects of magic gone wrong, we can't be sure if its going to wear off that soon,” said Twilight.

“I'll deal with it.”

“How?” questioned the orange farm pony. “Don't be so stubborn girl, let us help you git you back tah yer ol' griffon self.

“Stubborn? Can't you understand what 'no' means?” I shot back angrily, tearing my eyes off Fluttershy to face the orange pony's emerald eyes. Her face hardened.

“Okay, that's enough!” exclaimed Dr. Stable in a risen voice. “Gilda needs her rest. We can figure all these messy details out later. If you would Nurse Redheart, lead them out.”

“Finally, a pony with a bit of sense around here,” I mocked with a small laugh, but the laugh brought no sense of joy, only a pang of regret.

The ponies gathered together slowly. Nurse Redheart made no attempt to sweep them out quickly, and Dr. Stable did not reproach her for it. He, too, looked hesitant to leave. Dash passed by me without a glance. That was fine; I had made it a challenge not to see her face even though she was just a foot away from me moments ago. It was better this way.... I think.

The ponies had pooled near the door, each of them reluctant to be the first one through the doorway to leave. It was at this time that a piercing sound broke through the melancholy of the room.

“Oh Gilda!” The bright words erupted from Pinkie Pie. I was put off for an instant by her sound of cheeriness against the bitterness of my mood. She was grating to my ears.

“I have one last itty bitty question, and I'll make it super duper quick!”

“Fine,” I replied, feeling exhausted.

“What's this?” She hopped to my bed, and bent low to the ground to reach for something underneath it. She rose back up with a brown package in her hooves. “Is it a present? Oh I bet it is! I just love gifts. Let's take a look inside; I bet it's a terrific gift!” Her hoof dug into the loose brown paper of the small square package.

I sat petrified in a nightmare, where the worst of fears wasn't the action of being tortured, but that my body was free and would not respond to stop the madness. The clear sound of paper being ripped broke the air and carried into my folded ears; it blasted away all notions of the unbelievable, of the unstoppable – and left the singular thought that no matter what, I had to act now before it was too late.

“NO!”

The cry stopped Pinkie Pie dead in her tracks, but the look of fear on her face came not from the shout, but at the sudden sight of me leaping off my bed and through the air at her. She thrusted her body upwards with the package still in her front hooves. During the sudden motion, my face connected not with her midsection, but against her flailing left hind-hoof as she fell backwards. The force of the reclining kick connected as a direct hit under the line of my jaw. I was stopped in mid air and crashed into the rock-like floor.

The package was thrown upwards and dropped like a lead weight in front of my eyes. The distinct sound of a glass crunch resonated throughout the entire room. I could feel the press of all eyes focused on me. Everything and everypony was stunned for one instant, even the small tick tock of the clock could not be heard as if it too look on in astonishment.

I could not think; I could only feel. And what I felt was the crashing tidal wave of pain flood over my body. It was the new mixed with the old – a completed circle of consummate agony that suffocated any pretense of medicine within my wrecked body. A few seconds later, I became dimly aware that two pairs of hooves was grasping onto my forelegs. The murky sound of bustling hooves rang far away in my ears along with the sudden outcries of ponies panicking. I was being dragged upwards and onto all fours. What I felt next could only be described as unbridled instinct.

I slashed my forelegs back and forth in violence, and tore through my own pain to shake the hooves of unknown ponies off me. My back hind legs reared my whole body upwards as my wings splayed outward in primal rage. Adrenaline coursed through every vein in my body. The pain was forced in momentary submission by an ungodly will-power I never knew I had. The silhouettes of everypony swam in my bleary vision.

“LEAVE NOW.”

Nopony hesitated this time. One moment later, the room was empty. The job was done, and so my body shifted back into rest mode and collapsed once more to the floor.

As my head laid sideways against the cold tile, I felt an obscure guilt offset by a mild indifference. I knew what I had just done, and what it meant for any lingering hope I had for Dash. I didn't want to dwell on my failure, so I smothered my guilt by convincing myself that she was a lost cause that couldn't be changed. If I thought of that as a fact, I received the mild indifference as my reward. Yet... I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. It stood in defiance against every rationalization, against every excuse – and it poisoned my heart with misery. The guilt would not let go, and it forced every happy memory of me and Dash as a weapon against the rest of my emotions. My eyes tilted towards the fallen package. I felt a strange wetness in the corner of my eyes. This was supposed to be for her. A gift from Gilda the griffon, to Dash the friend.

Inexplicably, I reached for the package. I forced my crippled body to crawl towards its battered form. I pulled away a bit of the cardboard that Pinkie Pie had dislodged to peer inside. Amongst the echoing physical pain plaguing my body, a small smile of immeasurable joy formed on my muzzle. The single photograph smiled back at me as a single tear fell against its cracked glass frame.

Hello Glenn.