This felt like the worst day.

I sat on my bed and sighed as I leaned my head against the wall. My favorite pillow was tucked comfortably between my hooves but I still couldn’t help but have this empty feeling. I had never felt this way before about anything, so why now? I should be one step closer to seeing that foalhood dream come true of having a big beautiful wedding with my closest friend, so what went wrong? A stallion had quite literally shouted his love for me, so why did I feel like I couldn’t take it?

The sound of my door creaking open broke me from my preoccupied mind. “You doing alright kiddo?” My dad spoke softly as he peaked his head around the corner, a concerned but welcome smile across his lips.

I shrugged and rested my head back against the wall, my eyes feeling tired as they looked out my window at the sunset colored trees. “Yeah, I guess so.”

I felt the bed shift as he came in and sat beside me. “Did something happen with Moonlight?” I shook my head, causing him to click his tongue. He coughed a bit uncomfortably into his hoof before asking the next question, “Did… Did something happen with a colt?”

“No, dad,” I said, even though he wasn’t one hundred percent wrong on that assumption. “It’s more there’s… something wrong with me.”

“Oh- Oh.” He stammered, quickly picking himself up off the bed. “Perhaps I should go and get your mother for this-”

“Dad,” He stopped and relaxed seeing me turn to look him in the eyes for the first time since he had come into my room. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m just trying to figure some things out… I think.”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hoof. I was making him feel helpless for not being able to do anything, but I didn’t think there was anything he could do. I wasn’t even sure if there was anything I could do.

“Alright,” he said, defeated. “But if there’s anything at all I can possibly do, or any colts I need to have a stern talking with…”

I gave a genuine giggle and held my pillow a little closer. Even when he couldn’t help, he at least knew how to make me feel a little lighter. “Thanks, dad.” I said, hoping my little smile was enough to calm his heart. He turned to leave only for the door to be pushed open suddenly and narrowly avoid clocking him right in the head.

My heart couldn’t help but soar seeing Moony come into my room. The two shared a bit of jovial bickering, him calling her “my other kiddo” and her calling him “pops.” She was always like that after I got her to open up back in school, able to just be friends with anypony despite age or distance. It was one of the things I loved about her.

The two glanced in my direction and my heart jumped. I hadn’t been paying attention and worried they might have asked me a question. My dad only smiled to the two of us and left the room, closing the door a few inches on his way out for the added privacy. I relaxed a little as my closest friend pulled herself up onto my bed with me. “Hey, how’s it going?” She asked in that same greeting she had used for years.

I shrugged and avoided her eyes just to try and be honest with how I truly felt, but I just couldn’t help it. Having her around was simply therapeutic. “I’ve had better days, I suppose…”

“Yeah?” She said, inching closer and suddenly wrapping her foreleg around me to pull me in. “A couple little birdies told me that you were freaking out about a note you found in you locker. Said it smelled of roses and every “I” was dotted with hearts and it was written with a golden quill.”

I couldn’t stop myself from giggling and giving in, leaning into her and enjoying the warmth. I looked to her and saw her grin and gave a defeated sigh. She wouldn’t allow me to be sad even when I wanted to be. “You’re little birdies can certainly exaggerate.”

“I don’t know, they went into very specific detail.” She coughed into her hoof and put on her most dignified look and voice, “My light, you are like a thousand stars-”

“S-Stop!” I coughed, falling into a laughing fit. I gave her a little push for her teasing but welcomed her right back when her hoof pulled me right back in.

“So tell me what happened. I’m all ears.”

I sighed softly, knowing it would all come back to this. I sat myself up straighter and looked down at my pillow, quietly wondering why I had it when I had her. “Well, you’re birdies weren’t completely wrong… I did get a note. It said to go to the west side of the building. I might have gotten a little excited-”

“I’m told you sprinted there.”

“-And when I got there, a stallion was waiting for me. My heart was racing, but, something just… didn’t feel right.”

“Didn’t feel right? Were you hoping for something with a bit more… pizazz than a love letter?” She questioned before blinking, “Oh, Celestia, it wasn’t Blaze, was it? I swear that stallion wears so much cologne that I’m surprised you didn’t get knocked out as soon as he rounded the corner!”

“No, no, it wasn’t him, and it wasn’t that the letter wasn’t enough… I always kinda hoped I would get the whole ‘letter in the locker’ confession. Just… Moony, he told me he loved me.”

Her eyebrows rose a bit, “Well, that’s a little sudden. But hey, you’ve been dying to get a stallion to like you for years! I’m a little offended I didn’t get asked first.”

I smiled gently at her joke, but it soon disappeared. “Moony, you know how when I get really distracted when I like something?”

“Oh yeah,” she nodded, her gaze going a bit distant as memories flashed before her. “It’s how I’ll always know good food took your heart before any stallion got a chance.”

“I… was completely on point the whole time. I caught every detail. I heard every word he said. Every time he shifted his weight, every time he stuttered… It wasn’t at all like whenever I look at-”

I turned to face her and my heart stopped. I knew we were close on my bed but I had never really pictured it. Our noses were an inch apart and her big bright eyes were right there to take in. My heart skipped a beat or three as suddenly memories began to flash by. Memories of all the time I spent together with her. I remembered how every little time we touched was like electricity and how many times I bruised my muzzle running into things because my eyes stayed on her a little too long. Even when I was younger, the days would fly by whenever I got lost in thoughts with her. It had been right in front of me the whole time.

I took a chance. I could barely breathe as I pushed myself forward. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or how to do it, but there was only one way to learn. For those brief few seconds the whole world seemed to melt away and all I knew was warmth and the softness of her lips. It was everything I had dreamed of it being. All of the fireworks that I had imagined would come with my first kiss were real, and it was deafening. I could have stayed like that forever. I felt her hoof press against my chest and it simply felt right.

What felt wrong, however, was the force her hoof put on me to push me back. I squeaked as I lost balance and the back of my head hit the wall. My vision was dazed, either from the hit to the head or the kiss I wasn’t sure, but when I came to I saw Moony had left my bed and was holding her hoof to her chest, eyes wide and panicked as she hyperventilated.

“Moony, I-” I tried, but her hoof shot up as if to keep me at distance.

“N-No! I mean, I…” Her eyes darted to and fro, looking for an escape. “I need to go.”

Her last words echoed with me as she turned and bolted out the door.

Author's Note

Sorry about the long wait, still trying to get back into the swing of regularly writing after a year away from it.

As always, thanks for reading and remember that feedback is greatly appreciated!