My Heart is Lost

by Zachurra

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Drama, Original Character
Length: 9507

A somewhat short story of a mare trying to figure herself out.

Weddings have always been the one thing every filly dreams about. A beautiful dress, the booming bells, the wonderful food, and the handsome groom.

But what if that dream wasn't quite what your heart wanted after all?

(This story is a test on an idea I've been wanting to write about to see if I can make it from beginning to end. Feedback is extremely appreciated!)

Published 2017-07-12 19:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-07 13:52:42 UTC

Chapter 1

It was the perfect day.

The bells would be heard for miles around as they tolled their song of happiness. My dress would stretch on so far that ponies would need to follow everywhere I went. I would stand side-by-side to the most handsome stallion in the land. All my friends and family would be there, and even the princesses would show up to such a big event! There would be a mountain of presents from everypony, and entire banquet tables full of wonderful, delicious, sweet, mouth-watering…

A swift smack to the back of my head pulled me from my stupor and brought out an embarrassing little squeak. I rubbed my head and looked up at my assailant, who could only wear a sweet smile as she looked down at me. “You were drooling on the floor again.”

I blinked and quickly moved to wipe my mouth. Sure enough, my fur was left damp and all I could do was giggle nervously. “Heh, thanks Moony…”

“No problem,” Moonlight Glow giggled with me as she returned to her seat across from me. It was an odd name for an earth pony, and most ponies who knew her name before they met her always were surprised to not be met with a unicorn. I never minded though; I always thought the name fit her perfectly. She always seemed to have this aura around her that was calming, something you couldn’t take your eyes off of for a minute, just like the moon on a clear night.

Ever since Rainmaker came in to class last week and told everypony about her big sister getting married, it’s been everything all the fillies could talk about. And who could blame them? Weddings were the most wonderful thing! So full of love and happiness, and food…

Even Moony was into the idea, and she was usually the one that chose to stay out of the fads and do her own thing. I couldn’t help but giggle as she went starry eyed talking about the stallion she would marry, describing every detail she could at least twice. Since she often had her head in a book, her perfect stallion would practically be one of the characters to a T, but she always knew I had no idea what she was talking about and happily took the time to tell me all about him. That, and her favorite character tended to change every other week, so I needed to keep up.

I think the best part about it all was seeing her get so into it all. She used to be so quiet back when we first met last year. I had to start every conversation, otherwise she would just head right home. But once she finally opened up, it was hard to get her to pipe down sometimes. I didn’t mind though, I thought her voice was one of her absolute best qualities. Maybe she’ll get her cutie mark in singing? Hmm, if that’s the case then I might need to step up my game before she lures all the stallions away with a song!

I won’t lose to you, Moony! After all, we promised we would get married together!

I pulled my locker open only to squeak as a folded piece of paper suddenly flew at me on its descent down to the floor. I blinked and tilted my head to try and see what was written on the front, but all I could make out from the angle was a red heart.

I gasped and my heart skipped a beat. My head spun in every direction to see if somepony was watching. What if it wasn’t meant for me? What if somepony made a mistake? My body was practically quivering as I leaned down to pick up the note and, sure enough, my name was written right beside the heart. I gulped and sat down there in the hall, my legs not agreeing with me at the moment. The letter unfolded and read,

I have always been watching you and it is time I was finally true to my heart.

Please meet me on the west side of the school so we can meet.

With love, Your Secret Admirer

My mouth was dry and I was at a loss for words. Finally, finally, a colt was going to proclaim his love to me!? I just couldn’t wait and yanked my bag off its hook before throwing it around my neck and slamming the locker closed and rushing down the hall. I thought I heard somepony shouting at me, but I just couldn’t help it! I felt like all my dreams were finally going to come true. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Moony’s face when I told her!

I nearly fell as I brought myself around the corner to the west wall. My heart was pounding, half from the run and half from the letter still. I looked around and my heart sunk a little when there was nopony in sight, but I had also gotten out here within a minute of the final bell ringing. I slapped myself for being too anxious, “Just calm down, stop sweating, he’ll be here any moment.”

I swallowed down my nervousness and tried to distract myself by looking at the lilac bushes that ran along the wall of the school. They were Moony’s favorite, and thoughts of her were always sure to calm me down. Mostly. At least a little. It helps, alright!?

A nervous cough stole back my attention. On the far side of the wall was a young stallion who was clearly tense. His breathing was heavy, suggesting he had probably come running too.

“S-sorry, I-I’m a little out of breath… I forgot to write down what time to come out here…”

“It’s okay,” I replied, trying to remain calm. I forced my legs forward, much to their dismay, “We’re both here now, so…”

“R-Right!” His eyes darted around, not able to look me in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. It was adorable though, whenever he did manage to look he seemed to get a little lost. He was definitely a cute one, which I couldn’t have been more thankful for.

“Listen, I, um… I wanted to ask – I mean, tell you something… I’ve been thinking it – I mean, you, for a long time now, and, um… I wanted to say that-” His body suddenly stood up straight and he closed his eyes as he said, “T-that I think I love you a-and want to ask if you’ll be my girlfriend!”

There was silence and he even seemed to be holding his breath as he waited for a response.

“I-I’m sorry?”

His eyes popped open and he let out the breath he had been holding as he looked down to me, clearly not expecting such a response. “I-I said that… I think I love you, and… wondered if you’d be my girlfriend?” His posture, so stiff the first time, quickly relaxed as he lowered himself, things clearly not going the way he had thought they would.

I blinked a few times and reached to touch my heart. It was… slowing down? My eyes darted around and my ears folded back seeing that everything was exactly the same as it had been before. Nothing had changed.

I looked back at him, his eyes looking on expectantly for an answer. I knew what I had to say, even if I didn’t understand why. “I-I’m sorry… You’re sweet, but… I think you have the wrong mare…”

Without waiting for a response, I quickly turned and ran. I heard him shouting something at me, but I didn’t dare stop. I ran as fast as my legs could take me. I trusted they knew the way home as the tears in my eyes were too much for me to be watching.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading the first chapter of my story! I'm honestly not sure how long this will be or what the ending will be like yet (there might be multiple) but I ask you stick with me and tell me what you think. I'm always looking to improve myself as a writer and want to produce the best content I possibly can.

Chapter 2

This felt like the worst day.

I sat on my bed and sighed as I leaned my head against the wall. My favorite pillow was tucked comfortably between my hooves but I still couldn’t help but have this empty feeling. I had never felt this way before about anything, so why now? I should be one step closer to seeing that foalhood dream come true of having a big beautiful wedding with my closest friend, so what went wrong? A stallion had quite literally shouted his love for me, so why did I feel like I couldn’t take it?

The sound of my door creaking open broke me from my preoccupied mind. “You doing alright kiddo?” My dad spoke softly as he peaked his head around the corner, a concerned but welcome smile across his lips.

I shrugged and rested my head back against the wall, my eyes feeling tired as they looked out my window at the sunset colored trees. “Yeah, I guess so.”

I felt the bed shift as he came in and sat beside me. “Did something happen with Moonlight?” I shook my head, causing him to click his tongue. He coughed a bit uncomfortably into his hoof before asking the next question, “Did… Did something happen with a colt?”

“No, dad,” I said, even though he wasn’t one hundred percent wrong on that assumption. “It’s more there’s… something wrong with me.”

“Oh- Oh.” He stammered, quickly picking himself up off the bed. “Perhaps I should go and get your mother for this-”

“Dad,” He stopped and relaxed seeing me turn to look him in the eyes for the first time since he had come into my room. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m just trying to figure some things out… I think.”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his hoof. I was making him feel helpless for not being able to do anything, but I didn’t think there was anything he could do. I wasn’t even sure if there was anything I could do.

“Alright,” he said, defeated. “But if there’s anything at all I can possibly do, or any colts I need to have a stern talking with…”

I gave a genuine giggle and held my pillow a little closer. Even when he couldn’t help, he at least knew how to make me feel a little lighter. “Thanks, dad.” I said, hoping my little smile was enough to calm his heart. He turned to leave only for the door to be pushed open suddenly and narrowly avoid clocking him right in the head.

My heart couldn’t help but soar seeing Moony come into my room. The two shared a bit of jovial bickering, him calling her “my other kiddo” and her calling him “pops.” She was always like that after I got her to open up back in school, able to just be friends with anypony despite age or distance. It was one of the things I loved about her.

The two glanced in my direction and my heart jumped. I hadn’t been paying attention and worried they might have asked me a question. My dad only smiled to the two of us and left the room, closing the door a few inches on his way out for the added privacy. I relaxed a little as my closest friend pulled herself up onto my bed with me. “Hey, how’s it going?” She asked in that same greeting she had used for years.

I shrugged and avoided her eyes just to try and be honest with how I truly felt, but I just couldn’t help it. Having her around was simply therapeutic. “I’ve had better days, I suppose…”

“Yeah?” She said, inching closer and suddenly wrapping her foreleg around me to pull me in. “A couple little birdies told me that you were freaking out about a note you found in you locker. Said it smelled of roses and every “I” was dotted with hearts and it was written with a golden quill.”

I couldn’t stop myself from giggling and giving in, leaning into her and enjoying the warmth. I looked to her and saw her grin and gave a defeated sigh. She wouldn’t allow me to be sad even when I wanted to be. “You’re little birdies can certainly exaggerate.”

“I don’t know, they went into very specific detail.” She coughed into her hoof and put on her most dignified look and voice, “My light, you are like a thousand stars-”

“S-Stop!” I coughed, falling into a laughing fit. I gave her a little push for her teasing but welcomed her right back when her hoof pulled me right back in.

“So tell me what happened. I’m all ears.”

I sighed softly, knowing it would all come back to this. I sat myself up straighter and looked down at my pillow, quietly wondering why I had it when I had her. “Well, you’re birdies weren’t completely wrong… I did get a note. It said to go to the west side of the building. I might have gotten a little excited-”

“I’m told you sprinted there.”

“-And when I got there, a stallion was waiting for me. My heart was racing, but, something just… didn’t feel right.”

“Didn’t feel right? Were you hoping for something with a bit more… pizazz than a love letter?” She questioned before blinking, “Oh, Celestia, it wasn’t Blaze, was it? I swear that stallion wears so much cologne that I’m surprised you didn’t get knocked out as soon as he rounded the corner!”

“No, no, it wasn’t him, and it wasn’t that the letter wasn’t enough… I always kinda hoped I would get the whole ‘letter in the locker’ confession. Just… Moony, he told me he loved me.”

Her eyebrows rose a bit, “Well, that’s a little sudden. But hey, you’ve been dying to get a stallion to like you for years! I’m a little offended I didn’t get asked first.”

I smiled gently at her joke, but it soon disappeared. “Moony, you know how when I get really distracted when I like something?”

“Oh yeah,” she nodded, her gaze going a bit distant as memories flashed before her. “It’s how I’ll always know good food took your heart before any stallion got a chance.”

“I… was completely on point the whole time. I caught every detail. I heard every word he said. Every time he shifted his weight, every time he stuttered… It wasn’t at all like whenever I look at-”

I turned to face her and my heart stopped. I knew we were close on my bed but I had never really pictured it. Our noses were an inch apart and her big bright eyes were right there to take in. My heart skipped a beat or three as suddenly memories began to flash by. Memories of all the time I spent together with her. I remembered how every little time we touched was like electricity and how many times I bruised my muzzle running into things because my eyes stayed on her a little too long. Even when I was younger, the days would fly by whenever I got lost in thoughts with her. It had been right in front of me the whole time.

I took a chance. I could barely breathe as I pushed myself forward. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or how to do it, but there was only one way to learn. For those brief few seconds the whole world seemed to melt away and all I knew was warmth and the softness of her lips. It was everything I had dreamed of it being. All of the fireworks that I had imagined would come with my first kiss were real, and it was deafening. I could have stayed like that forever. I felt her hoof press against my chest and it simply felt right.

What felt wrong, however, was the force her hoof put on me to push me back. I squeaked as I lost balance and the back of my head hit the wall. My vision was dazed, either from the hit to the head or the kiss I wasn’t sure, but when I came to I saw Moony had left my bed and was holding her hoof to her chest, eyes wide and panicked as she hyperventilated.

“Moony, I-” I tried, but her hoof shot up as if to keep me at distance.

“N-No! I mean, I…” Her eyes darted to and fro, looking for an escape. “I need to go.”

Her last words echoed with me as she turned and bolted out the door.

Author's Note

Sorry about the long wait, still trying to get back into the swing of regularly writing after a year away from it.

As always, thanks for reading and remember that feedback is greatly appreciated!

Chapter 3

It was a miserable day.

One of those days where it felt as though absolutely nothing could go right. One of those days where, no matter what you tried, it would never get better. Oh, it could absolutely still get worse, but getting better would require nothing short of a miracle.

I sighed and slumped forward into my lonely table, resting my head on its cold, uninviting surface. The cafeteria was as chatty and crowded as ever, with ponies talking about who-knows-what that happened who-knows-when. I sat alone – something that hadn’t happened since the second grade when Moonlight didn’t come to school for a day because of a cold. My eyes drifted across the barely familiar faces to a table that stood out from the rest: the table we had “claimed” at the beginning of the year as ours.

From where I sat, I could get the perfect view of Moonlight’s face whenever a few other ponies moved their heads. Every now and then I would catch her looking my way, but I don’t think she ever noticed I was looking back. Or if she did notice than she didn’t seem to mind that much. A few of the other girls would do the same from time to time and it’s how I knew whenever they were talking about me. Then they would likely change the subject to try and distract themselves or just move on to a more pleasant topic.

Moonlight would never laugh with them though. Honestly I wasn’t sure whether to feel hurt or relieved. On one hoof, I was relieved that she was feeling just as lost as I was. On the other hoof, I’m the reason all of this happened to begin with. I sighed again and forced my eyes to pull away from that side of the room. Why did it all have to go like this? I spent so long waiting for my dream stallion to come along and carry me off into the sunset, so why couldn’t I have been happy when the opportunity finally came? Instead I had to go and make my closest friend shove me away as far as she could.

Suddenly most of my vision was obstructed by thick fur. I looked up and was met by the gentle smile worn on a familiar face. “Is this seat taken?” he said, nodding toward the empty seat across from me.

“N-No, go right ahead.” I replied, attempting to sit up straight and pull myself together. He smiled again and set his tray down to take one of eleven other open seats. His food tray was set between us, sporting the same disgusting yet oddly enjoyable food as it had been for years. He tapped his hoof against the table and took a deep breath before looking me straight in the eyes, a completely different behavior compared to the last time we spoke.

“Listen, I… Wanted to apologize. For being such a nervous wreck yesterday, I mean.”

“Oh? Oh, right! That…” I stammered, having mostly forgotten that whole event had even transpired thanks to what had happened last night. I tried to force a smile, “I probably would have acted the same way. If anything, I should be apologizing for running off on you like that…”

If he noticed the strain behind my smile, he didn’t show it. “Well if you want to focus on that, than I should be thanking you!” he said, his smile growing and voice suddenly full of life. He was like a totally different pony now. “I’ve always been kinda shy, especially when it came to mares.” He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled bashfully. “It took my cousin a solid week to convince me to even think about talking to you after I told her how I felt. But now that I finally have, I just feel a lot better about myself. I feel like I can take on the world now!” He leapt up out of his seat and stood tall and proud before blinking a few times and coughing into his hoof as she slipped back down. “Though, uh, you’re still the only mare I’ve convinced myself to talk to…”

I giggled quietly to myself. It was relieving to know that he had taken rejection so well – far better than I had. And now here he was helping me - a stallion whose name I still didn’t even know - even if only a little. “Well, it’s definitely a good start.”

“Speaking of,” he replied, “I came to ask if perhaps we could start as friends? You’re the only mare I’ve been able to talk to, and, well…” His eyes drifted toward the deserted sides of the table to our left and right. “It seems like a friend is what you need right now.”

I sighed as my posture sunk lower, my heart shaking. I had managed to forget about it all for the briefest of moments, but it was bound to come back no matter what. “I… I don’t know… I…” I tried to pull myself together, the words choking together in my throat. Did he really need to know about what happened? He kind of started the whole thing and a part of me wants to be mad at him for it, but I know that’s not fair to him. Besides, it wasn’t like I had many ponies to confide in anymore…

“You weren’t the only one to make a confession last night…”

He nodded, quietly eating his lukewarm food as he waited for me to get everything out. “I’m guessing he didn’t take it too well?”

“No, she didn’t…” My eyes trailed off of him toward Moonlight’s table once again. Had she looked my way again? Had any of my old friends thought to come and talk to me? I could just barely see the open seat to Moonlight’s right; the only vacancy.

His mouth formed an “Oh” as his eyes followed mine. “Makes a little more sense now, I think.” He tapped his hoof against his chin, probably trying to think of some way to try and change the subject. Or perhaps he was trying to figure a way out now that he knew the truth about me. I sighed and fell back into a slump, my head resting on the uncomfortably cold surface of the table. I closed my eyes, giving him the chance to leave without needing to come up with an excuse if he wanted and hoping I would never need to open them again.

Instead I felt his hoof rest gently on top of mine. I opened my eyes and was met once again by that little smile that just felt so genuine. “Are you busy tonight? I think I know someone who’d love to talk to you.”

Author's Note

Ugh this took far too long.

This chapter and the next were meant to be one, but the massive block I've been having has just refused to let up and I needed to get something out, even If I'm not 100% happy with it.

Thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts!

Chapter 4

It was a cold day.

Surprisingly cold, given the time of year. The sun was beginning to set and sent long dark shadows that stretched out from the trees and buildings in protest of the brightly lit sky. It was actually kind of pretty and took my mind off having to explain to my parents why I was going to be coming home so late. I glanced back to my new friend as pulled me halfway across town. He refused to tell me why or who it was exactly that he wanted me to meet, and honestly I was beginning to grow a bit worried that perhaps trusting a pony whose name I still didn’t know was a bad idea. I frowned as we made a turn into an alleyway, reluctance washing over me.

He stopped and turned to me as if sensing my anxiety. “Come on, it’s just around the corner.” He said with a smile, gesturing forward with his hoof. I bit my lip and turned to look back the way we came. There were plenty of ponies around, surely one of them would be able to hear if anything started to happen. I nodded and followed after him.

As we made our way through, I realized it was really less of an alleyway and more of a backstreet. Small businesses and shops lined each side wherever space was available. Some had full interiors while others simply set up shop in small garages. A few ponies milled about, but most were simply closing up for the night.

“And here we are!” he exclaimed with a flourish toward a lonely looking business as we turned the corner. He stood proudly before it as if it were his own. Before us was a rather humble looking shop, or so I believed at first. The door seemed to be made of finely crafted cherry wood and the wall around the large window beside the door was similarly done with waving designs. The sun was just high enough still to put a glare on the window and block off my view of the inside. My eyes looked up, just above the small awning.

“Bella Luna?” I asked, reading aloud the name of the place. I turned to him, an eyebrow already raised high. “You… brought me out to a bar?”

“I’ve always thought of it more as a café that doesn’t usually serve coffee. Come on!” He trotted to the door and pushed it open, a little bell jingling to signal visitors.

“What?” I asked, “We aren’t old enough to be going into bars! My parents would kill me if they ever found out!”

I started to turn and walk back the way we came, regretting the whole trip. Explaining how I felt and why Moony was never going to come over again to my parents was already going to be hard enough, but if they ever caught wind of their daughter going to a bar clear across town? “Hey, hey!” He said, rushing to cut me off and holding up a halting hoof. “Listen, I didn’t bring you all the way out here just to try and get you drinking.”

He saw my brow furrow at how his words implied he wanted more than just that, and he cut himself off before he said anything else he might regret. “Listen,” he continued, taking a step back to give me space. “I’m pretty close with the owner, and I think she can help you with your… situation, with your friend. And even if she can’t directly help, I can promise she will never judge you how you feel.” He slowly made his way back to the door, pushing it open again and gesturing inside. “You just need to trust me.”

I let out a heavy sigh. My eyes darted back and forth down the street, making sure no one was watching us before pushing my legs to rush inside. I thought I heard him mention something as I passed by about being careful of something being loud before I was stopped dead in my tracks. All of my senses were hit at once and I nearly stumbled.

The room was filled with the most wonderful aroma that immediately reminded me that it had been hours since I had last eaten. I reflexively brought my hoof to my stomach as it growled while my nose tried to distinguish each scent. My eyes soon caught up to my nose, taking in the dark but calming atmosphere. What felt like a hundred different lights hung from the ceiling, their low orange glow reflecting off the finely finished wooden tables and bar. The entire room seemed to be glowing with lights turned just low enough to leave the room in a perpetual dusk.

A few ponies still milled about finishing meals and enjoying the evening with one another, and one seemed to have fallen asleep on his own in one of the booths by the small stage in the corner. My eyes followed to the bar where a lone unicorn mare was positioned, a rag wrapped around her hoof as she cleaned spotless glasses. Behind her was a wall covered in bottles of all shapes and sizes. The wall itself was lit up from behind, causing the colors of drinks inside to form a wonderful mosaic.

“It’s beautiful in here,” I mumbled more to myself than anything else. My friend chuckled and patted my back, the sudden touch pulling me from my stupor.

“Happens to everyone on their first time in. Come on, let’s go introduce you.”

I nodded and followed closely beside him as we made our way toward the mare attending the bar. My eyes were still lost in everything around me; it was like walking through a work of art. Suddenly a gasp brought me back to reality, yanking my attention back to the bar. The mare had finally taken notice of our approach and nearly dropped the glass she had been holding. Her eyes were wide and she looked like she had just seen the dead rise before her.

“Hey, H-”

“SUNNY!” The mare slammed her hooves down on the bar and screamed toward a door to our left that presumably led to the kitchen. “HE FINALLY BROUGHT A MARE! GET THE CAKE!!”

I couldn’t help but jump at the sudden screech that broke the once so peaceful silence. The stallion, flustered and blushing, quickly jumped up to the bar to be level with the mare, “No! I did not ‘bring a mare!’ She’s only a friend. A. Friend.”

The mare deadpanned back to him and the two sat in silence for a moment before her head fell back in a long, drawn out sigh. Her eyes rolled toward the kitchen door, “Nevermind, they’re only ‘friends.’”

I followed her gaze to catch sight of another mare halfway out the door, pushing a cart with a somewhat sloppily made ice cream cake with “FINALLY” written in frosting across the top, except whoever wrote it had realized they were running out of space and removed an L. The other mare seemed to sigh and quickly tugged the cart back into the kitchen.

The bar mare huffed and continued polishing her glass as she leaned against the bar toward me. “So, you single then?” she asked me, waggling her eyebrows and wearing a cocky smile. Now that she wasn’t screaming, which must have happened often enough due to the fact that none of the other patrons moved and the one pony was still passed out in the corner booth, it was easy to catch her accent.

“That’s not why I asked her to come all the way out here!” He interjected, throwing an accusatory hoof toward her. The two frowned at each other as he slipped into a chair. He turned to me, “This is my cousin. I think she can really help with your problem.”

“Proprietor of the fine Bella Luna establishment, proclaimed ‘fireball of Manehattan,’ and estranged heiress to the Orange family fortune assuming I haven’t been fully cut out of the will yet.” She spoke proudly as she reached out to shake my hoof, which she then used to tug me up into one of the seats with a surprising amount of strength. “Call me Halo.” She added with a wink.

I smiled and nodded to her, brushing my mane back. “Pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

Halo’s smile faded almost immediately and her brow furrowed, looking at me as if I had suddenly started speaking to her in a completely foreign language. She turned to her cousin, “What did she just call me?”

He chuckled and reached to pat my back reassuringly, “I’m gonna go see if Sunny needs help in the kitchen.” He pulled himself from his seat and strode past the bar and double doors, leaving them to swing and brush against each other a few times before settling.

My attention returned to Halo, whose own attention had returned to scrubbing her glass. A small smile adorned her features. Looking at her closer without the distractions of the previous bickering, she was actually a rather pretty mare. She had a blonde colored coat with a short, fiery mane which I could only assume was in part the reason to one of her nicknames.

“So,” she said, turning her bright green eyes toward me, “What’s her name?”

“I-I’m sorry?” I stammered, taken aback by her question. How did she know? He couldn’t have told her, he had only recently found out and they had only just arrived!

She could easily see my panic and started to laugh. “Listen kid, there’s only two reasons why Blue would bring you all the way out here to meet me. Either A, you’re lookin’ to start a small business and you’re lookin’ for some tips, or B,” She set the glass down upside down and leaned in with a grin, “There’s a mare involved. And I don’t mean no offense, but you don’t look like a mare tryin’ to make a few bits.”

I blushed and brushed my mane back only for it to fall back into place. “Am I really that easy to read?” I asked, suddenly having a hard time keeping eye contact.

“Only as much as a colorin’ book.” The barmare chuckled. “So, tell me about her. Start from the beginning.”

Distant memories of my childhood flooded back all at once. The days of an ignorant youth who thought they were bigger than the world. There were bad times, of course, but who would ever think of those times over the times she spent with my closest, dearest friend. “Her name is Moonlight Glow,” I began, “And she’s the most beautiful mare I’ve ever-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Halo interrupted, gesturing with her hoof for me to pause. I looked at her quizzically as she reached beneath the bar and pulled out an unmarked bottle full of an amber liquid. She popped the top off with her teeth as she flipped the glass she had left back over. She then swung the bottle over and had it filled without a single drop being wasted before hiding the bottle away once more. Halo then seemed to drop down suddenly, only her head visible as she made her away around the bar to my side. As she came into view, I was finally given a good look at her body. She was… surprisingly short, given her age and personality. Had she been standing on a stool this whole time?

“Sunny gets mad when I drink behind the bar.” She said, a little bounce in her step as she hopped up into the previously occupied chair beside me. Halo grabbed the drink and downed it in the first second, a blissful sigh escaping her lips as she relaxed back, her half-lidded eyes turning back to me. “Want some?” She said, holding out the empty glass as if to offer it to me.

“No, no, I’m not…” I said, holding up my hoof to politely decline before eying the mare. “Are you even old enough to be drinking?”

Normally I would have never asked such a question, but today was a day of surprises and getting relationship advice from a barmare half a head shorter than me was unexpected enough. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to mind too much.

“Are you?” She replied, cocking an eyebrow and pulling her empty glass back. I shook my head, to which she just smiled and sunk back into her chair, “Good, more for me then. So, most beautiful mare in the world, killer bod’, eyes to die for, absolutely stunning personality that makes your heart sing when ya think of her. Am I right so far?”

I blinked and nodded slowly. The comments were rather vague and could have applied to anypony that was in love, but she mare wasn’t exactly wrong in any way.

Halo set her glass on the bar and began to play with it with her hoof, gently tipping it over to make the last dribble of alcohol run from side to side. “And for my next trick, I’mma guess she said no.”

I bit my lip and looked away. My heart, having been raised so high from my old memories, now began to sink back into the depression it had begun in.

She sighed again. This time there wasn’t any bliss or cheerfulness in her breath, instead it simply sounded tired. “Did Blue ever tell ya why he thinks I can help ya so much?”

I frowned and furrowed my brow gently at her question, “I’m sorry, who exactly is… Blue?”

Halo groaned and spun around to glare in the direction of the kitchen doors. “Damn kid… Been such an introvert all his life, don’t even bother introducin’ himself when he meets a mare before tugging her all around town.” The mare sunk back into her seat, crossing her hooves and leaning against the bar. “True Blue, part of the Grape family. Might’ve heard of his daddy, King Blue.” She pointed toward the wall of bottles behind the bar, specifically toward a rather expensive, vibrant blue bottle of wine with the words King Blue written in beautiful cursive written across it. Halo sighed again and shook her head, “Kid has got a lot to live up to. But hey,” She turned back to face me, putting on a fresh smile. “We ain’t here to talk about him. We’re here to talk about you. First though, we’re gonna talk about me, and why I know exactly what you’re goin’ through.”

Author's Note

Well this only took forever to get through. And the next chapter was supposed to be a part of this one too, but its been too long and I needed to get something out.

Thanks for reading and please leave a comment with any feedback!

Chapter 5

“It was a really warm day.”

Halo smiled sweetly. She had taken the time to refill her glass but had yet to take a drink, instead simply opting to roll the liquid around gently with her hoof. Her eyes were lost, looking into another world and leaving the quiet bar far behind her. “It was the first really warm day of the season and the sky was absolutely gorgeous and blue.” A bright smile spread across her lips as she reminisced. “Was a Tuesday, I think. Real boring day. Kinda day you where ya could stay in bed and still get the same amount of stuff done.”

Her smile faded ever so slightly that one wouldn’t notice unless they watched her do it. “Some days, I wish I had done just that.” She muttered the words a bit darkly, lifting the glass to her lips and taking a gentle sip of her liquor. The previous glimmer in her eyes dulled quietly. “I had just started Uni, tryin’ to make somethin’ of myself. Make my parents proud and all that, just like every other pony there. And there was this mare,”

Halo straightened herself up a bit. I noticed her hoof wrapping a bit tighter around her drink, but was unsure if she knew. “Rosemary. Rosie-May, we would call ‘er to try and be cute. Knew her for over a decade and she’d still blush the same way whenever ya said it in public.” The mare chuckled softly, more pleasant memories taking hold once more. “Oh, she was a mare like no other. The kinda gal that you could just never forget once ya met her. Absolutely gorgeous, curves for days…” She giggled softly at her own joke. It was actually kind of adorable. “And those eyes,” she continued, “like a sunny sky on a cloudless day.”

“She sounds like a wonderful mare,” I said. It was calming seeing the barmare’s posture soften as she went on and on. The smile she gained had yet to leave, which was a good sign.

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Her eyes turned to look at me for the first time since her story had begun. The setting sun had darkened the room even more so than it had already been, and with our place in the bar most of our light was coming from the backlight behind the drinks. It gave the mare an alluring presence and seemed to highlight the blush on her cheeks. “I was speaking from experience when I mentioned the whole ‘singing heart’ stuff. She was like somethin’ out of a storybook – always knew what to say and when to say it. It was like she had some kinda… presence.” The mare laughed to herself, her eyes leaving mine much too soon as she took a sip of her drink. “It probbly sounds crazy, and I can’t really explain it too good…”

“No, no!” I said, half as reassurance and half just to keep her mood around. “Actually… I know exactly what you mean.” I smiled softly to myself, relaxing into the bar as good memories fell to me just as they had for Halo. “Moonlight was – I mean, is – the same way. Whenever she’s around, it’s like nothing could ever go wrong. The bad days just blew away, like they were never even there.”

Memories flashed by. Laughter, smiles, and all those “perfect days” you could only ever experience when you were young. And even on the roughest days, when it was only one bad thing after another, Moonlight’s confidence was simply contagious. She didn’t frown often or scare easily – or so I thought.

Halo must have seen my smile falter. Her own grin melted away and her eyes turned down to her drink, watching the reflection ripple gently. “I was head over hooves for Rose. Who wouldn’t be? A mare like that was a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing. But o’course, I wasn’t the only one thinkin’ that. Girl must have gotten asked out on a date every other day for the first six months of school.”

I gulped thinking about the pressure of a hundred different stallions – and at least one mare, evidently – vying for my attention. I could barely handle my excitement from a single love letter, and I was nearly out of high school!

The barmare sipped her drink. A content sigh left her lips as the alcohol seemed to be doing its intended duty in helping her relax. “And she turned down every single one of ‘em. Kept on sayin’ that she wanted to finish her schoolin’ before she considered jumpin’ into a relationship.” She shrugged gently and brought her glass back to her lips. “Eventually a couple rumors started gettin’ around that maybe she just didn’t swing that way. Wasn’t her fault, some colts just don’t like being told ‘no.’”

Halo downed the rest of her drink in one go, slamming down her glass and shaking her head to brush off the daze it gave her. “Course, I was a young and dumb kid still. I’d been nuts about her for the last two years, maybe longer. Figured, hey, maybe those rumors weren’ too full of crap? So I came up with the flawless plan of tellin’ her how I felt at her lil’ sister’s sporty event. Thing is, this wasn’t no little game, you see,” She turned to look at me, shaking her hoof to emphasize her slurring words. Only now, though, her eyes barely held on mine and seemed to look right through me. Was she getting drunk just from those two glasses? How strong of a drink had she been offering me? “This was somethin’ big, and everypony and their mama’s was there to root for the team. Felt like my head was gonna explode every time one o’ those mares scored.” Halo rubbed the side of her head. I was unsure if she was just remembering the noise or if she was actually developing a headache now.

She sighed and leaned forward onto the bar, pushing her empty glass away. Her eyes stared at the wood finish, but I could tell she wasn’t looking at it. “Our team was winnin’ and Rosie was lookin’ so happy, I could hardly take my eyes off ‘er… I thought to myself, this is my chance, if I’mma do this then I gotta do it soon. I turn to her and tapped her shoulder, an’ she looked at me with those big beau’ful eyes of hers, and I told her I loved her.” Halo’s good mood and smile seemed so far away now. “Somepony scored just as the clock ran out, and the whole place went ballistic. She didn’ hear me, so I said it again. She still couldn’t, so just as the bell quit ringin’, I shouted my feeling at her as loud as I could.” A heavy sigh, followed by what seemed to be disappointment that her glass was still empty. “She heard me that time. Her and everypony else around us. I still ‘member her parents lookin’ over at me, just as shocked as she was. Thing is, there was an anger in their eyes. Turns out they weren’t fans of fillyfoolers like me. Now it may come a shock to hear that a del’cate flower like me has been called a lotta things in the past, but… I never felt so backed into a corner in my life. I was scared. ‘Parently they were askin’ me somethin’ ‘cause her mama slapped me for not answerin’.” Halo brought her head down onto her hooves, now looking more tired than anything. “I didn’ stick around to see what else she’d do. I ran away. Didn’ know where I was goin’, but anywhere was better than there. I eventually got back home some time durin’ the night. Mom an’ Dad were pissed, but they were gettin’ used to be stayin’ out late.”

“But what about Rosemary?” I asked. I honestly felt helpless for the mare. Even though it seemed that this story took place quite some time ago, she was still falling apart at the thought of it all. Gone was the loud and flirtatious mare that she had first met, replaced instead by a mare that was so lost in her memories that I was worried that my coming here had been a terrible mistake. My eyes glanced past her sunken form to the kitchen doors. They were opened just wide enough for me to see both True Blue and the mare from before peeking out from behind. They didn’t say a word but I could tell from their looks that this wasn’t the first time the barmare had broken down. Perhaps my being brought here was just as much for her sake as it was for mine. I asked again, “What did Rosemary say?”

Halo shrugged. “Dunno. Never will know, either. Her Ma told mine ‘bout the whole thing the next day, and that’s when I found out that our parents had a lot in common. Got kicked out o’ the house and dropped outta school. Wasn’ much point in stickin’ around there, especially if Rosie really did feel the same was her parents. Woulda been alone on the streets if not for my big brother.” I bit my lip seeing the fur around her eyes turn dark with held back tears. “Big guy went and tried his hardest to convince my parents to take me back in. They wouldn’ have none of it, and I don’ think I woulda been able to do it neither, knowin’ how they felt about it all. So he went and demanded his inheritance, ended up givin’ half of it to me. Used it to get this place, been here ever since.”

I quickly picked up my jaw after hearing her words. “B-but this place is gorgeous! And you don’t seem terribly busy for a bar in the evening. How do you manage to keep all this going?” I looked around at the flawless interior once more. I only just realized that most of the patrons that had been here when Blue and I had come in were now gone, save for the still slumbering stallion in the corner booth.

Surprisingly, Halo chuckled. It was nowhere near the hearty laugh she once had, but it was at least a step in the right direction. “Honey, I’m an Orange. My family owns one o’ the biggest businesses this side o’ Equestria. Half of an inheritance is more bits than some ponies see in their lifetime.” Her gloomy eyes turned to a squint in my direction, “And ‘chu mean, we ain’t busy? Fridays are always pretty slow ‘round this time! Come in over the weekend, then you’ll see!”

I couldn’t help but giggle at the way she got protective over her bar. It was relieving to know that the playful mare from before wasn’t completely gone. “Maybe I will.” I said, “If only to at least see if you’re lying or not.”

“You better,” She replied, closing her eyes as she relaxed slightly. “’Sides, I told you my sob story. Only fair I hear yours too. That’s why Bluey brought you all the way out here to ‘gin with, yeah?”

I bit my lip and looked away. How could I possibly complain over my circumstances after hearing Halo’s story? She lost everything because of her feelings. Her home, her education, her family, and her best friend. I was lucky enough to only lose one of those things.

“I mean, I…” I stuttered, not really sure where to even begin with it all. I looked back to Halo and saw her head turned toward me, still resting on her legs. Her sassy attitude was put aside and she looked up at me with genuine interest. Very tired interest with a sniffle now and then, but interest nonetheless. I sighed, “Well, it all started yesterday, actually…” My eyes glanced toward where Blue was hiding. “I received a letter in my locker. It was a love letter. First one I had ever gotten.” I giggled, embarrassed at the fact that no stallions had ever taken enough interest in me until recently.

Halo laughed with me. “Was Blue, wasn’ it? I taught him that trick.”

I found myself smiling at the imagine of the smaller unicorn barking orders at the much bigger earth pony as he was hunkered over a piece of paper. “Yeah, yeah it was. And I had been dreaming of the day somepony would express their feelings for me ever since I was a little filly. So when it finally happened, I was overjoyed. But when I finally heard the words, it all suddenly felt so… wrong. There was none of the fireworks in my heart like I thought there would be. I wasn’t washed away by the moment like I imagined I would be in my dreams.” I looked back at Blue, who seemed to have taken a much greater interest in the conversation now. “And it’s definitely not his fault. He really seems like a great stallion, even if he’s still working on a few of his social skills.” I couldn’t help but smile seeing his cheeks flush before slipping out of sight.

“I got scared and ran off,” I continued, “Moonlight heard about it and came over that night. It was at that moment that… Well, I realized she was everything I had been looking for all along. She was – is – the most wonderful mare and carries herself so well. I remember being a bit jealous of her growing up, wishing I could be so confident and beautiful all the time.” I sighed, my posture stiffening as the events of the previous night were still so fresh in my mind. “And without even thinking, I threw myself on her… I don’t blame her for hating me now-”

“Did she say that?” Halo interrupted.

“I-I’m sorry?”

“Did she say she hated you?”

“W-well, no…”

“Did she hit you?”

“Of course not!” I exclaimed, the very thought of Moonlight striking anypony being offending to me.

Halo smiled softly and reached out to touch my hoof. “Then you’re already miles better than where I was.”

I blushed at her touch and looked away. Maybe I really was overreacting about everything? Maybe I should just talk to Moonlight? It was a chance Halo never got, so to waste it could leave things worse than they could be. But what could I possibly say? ‘Hey, sorry for forcing myself on you without your consent, let’s be friends again?’

And what would my parents think if they ever found out? Dad might be okay with it, but mom had always been just as excited about my fantasies of living a life with a handsome prince as I was. Suddenly a few distant memories as a filly came to me of my mother shying me away or shielding my eyes whenever a pair of stallions that lived a few houses down from us were out in the yard. Oh Celestia, I always thought they were brothers! Could they have really been…? I suddenly felt a lot less sure of my parents’ opinion on the matter…

Halo’s grip tightened around my hoof, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to reality. She was smiling at me. “You’re cute when you’re lost in thought.”

My cheeks flared and I gasped softly, reaching desperately for some sort of comeback.

“And… you’re drunk.”

Flawless.

She laughed out loud, retracting her hoof as she sat up. “Maybe so. But if your mommy and daddy are anything like mine, then they’re probably wonderin’ where their little filly might be at this time o’ night.”

I gasped and looked out the window on the far side of the room. The sun had almost completely set at this point, and outside a unicorn was using his magic to turn on the streetlights. I hopped out of my seat without thinking, ready to rush out of the building before my manners got the better of me. I turned to Halo, who was laughing to herself as she spun around in her seat to follow me.

“Go on,” she said. “But like I said, things are a bit more lively ‘round here on the weekends, so, you know, maybe…?” She shrugged and smiled, knowing the question was obvious.

I smiled with her. “Yeah, so long as you don’t mind housing a minor for a bit.”

She held up her hooves, “Hey, I won’ tell if you don’.”

My smile widened a bit before I left the bar. The cool night air sent a shiver through my body and made me realize just how pleasantly warm it had been inside the bar. Halo’s invitation echoed in my mind. The weekend started tomorrow, so I wouldn’t be able to see Moonlight without coming straight to her house. Would I want to risk her parents overhearing? Of course, this was all assuming she would agree to talk to me in the first place. But before that, I would have to figure out what to even tell her. Maybe that’s why she had been invited to come back? Either way, she had plenty of time to figure things out – as well as a new friend who seemed more than happy to help.

Author's Note

I have the worst writing habits. Did nothing for a good week, then spent every night doing about 50-100 words, then did the last 2000 all in one sitting. I dont get it.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!