Button Mash: Revenge of the Rekt

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Button Mash, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 1226

When Button Mash thrashes somepony in online multiplayer, he is quick to gloat about it. When the pony in question says that they could easily track him down, he challenges them to do exactly that.

When Button Mash thrashes somepony in online multiplayer, he is quick to gloat about it. When the pony in question says that they could easily track him down, he challenges them to do exactly that; he even bets them a hundred bits that they won't.

His opponent says they will, but Button isn't worried; after all, it's not like they will actually go through all the effort of tracking him down, right?

Right?

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Alternate Universe tag is there because the Internet exists in this version of Equestria. A character tag is also missing, to prevent spoilers.

Published 2017-07-18 16:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-18 16:30:06 UTC

One-Shot

The young colt sat glued to the screen in front of him, frantically tapping at the buttons on the controller he was holding. His tongue was poking out of one side of his mouth, and his face was showing the signs of intense concentration. The screen showed him to be in a snow-filled bunker, moving slowly while he looked for his target.

Suddenly, the screen flashed red. The colt swung his character around and, in a flash, fired a volley of shots towards his attacker. It was all over in seconds; the resulting silence was broken a few moments later by triumphant music and a loud, booming voice.

"VICTORY IS YOURS!"

The colt threw his controller down and cheered.

"Ha!" he said into the headset he was wearing. "I told you that one on one against me would be pointless, but you didn't believe me!" He blew a raspberry. "Who's the noob now? ButtonTheDestroyer, one..." He peered at the screen. "ToughPony42, nil!"

"You cheated!" his opponent shouted back. "I shot you in the head, yet you didn't die! I should report you, you hacking scum!"

Button rolled his eyes and sighed. "I had a combat helmet on," he replied. "Y'know, that thing which lets you survive one headshot?"

ToughPony42 cursed under their breath. "Yeah... well... I bet you wouldn't be so cocky if I was in the same room as you!"

"I would be," Button replied. "But that's never gonna happen, because you don't even know where I live."

"Actually, 'ButtonTheDestroyer,' your username gives you away," ToughPony42 replied. "As a result, I do know where you live!"

"Whatever," Button said. "You're just trying to scare me, noob."

"Stop calling me a noob!" ToughPony42 shouted. "I thought I could beat you, but I couldn't. I made a mistake, and I admit that, but that doesn't give you a reason to be such an elitist about it!"

"Uh-huh," Button replied nonchalantly. "So what are you gonna do, noob? Are we gonna have a rematch, or are you just going to sit there and be salty about losing? And I bet you a hundred bits that you couldn't find me in a million years."

"Oh yeah?" ToughPony42 snarled. "I'll find you and take those bits!"

"Whatever, loser," Button said. "Find me IRL if you want, I don't care." He picked his controller up. "Now, how about a rematch?" The only answer he got was his opponent disconnecting from the game, at which he chuckled. "Pfft, noob."

***

The next morning brought with it a sense of boredom, as Button sat watching his mother prepare his lunch for the day. He thought back to the events of the previous evening and laughed again.

"Hmm?" his mother asked. "What's tickling you, sweetie?"

"I totally owned some noob at First Pony Shooter last night, and they got really salty about it," Button replied. "They said they were gonna find me; I bet them a hundred bits that they couldn't."

His mother raised an eyebrow. "Button, you should know better than to upset ponies online," she said. "It's not very nice."

"They started it!" Button retorted. "They said I was hacking because I used an item that they didn't. They also called me a noob first so, when I beat them one on one, they became the noob."

"Be that as it may, you shouldn't go around gloating." his mother sighed. "Whatever happened to the olden days of gaming, when it was all about taking part and just having fun?"

Button snorted. "Those days are as old as you are, Mom," he said. "Anyway, is my lunch ready yet? I'm gonna be late for school." His mother narrowed her eyes at him, wordlessly passing him a paper bag containing his lunch. Button took it eagerly and, not noticing the look on her face, ran out of the room. "Thanks, Mom! Bye!"

He peeked inside the bag as he made his way onto the street to begin the walk to school, his smile widening when he saw the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Tucking the bag away in his saddlebag, he continued walking; he was soon joined by a few of his classmates, whom he greeted jovially.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo," he said. "Do any of you know what happened to the weekend? Because it went fast."

Sweetie Belle sighed. "At least you got a weekend," she said. "I spent mine helping my sister reorganise the Boutique."

"I spent mah weekend doin' chores," Apple Bloom added. "Jus' when I though I was done, BAM! 'Apple Bloom, feed the pigs,' 'Apple Bloom, get the eggs,' 'Apple Bloom, grab those crates.'" She grimaced. "Ugh, I felt like mah legs were gonna fall off."

"My weekend wasn't so bad," Scootaloo said. "I spent some of it with Rainbow Dash and her parents, watching her train with the Wonderbolts. Plus, I also learned how to hover, so it's all good. What about you, Button, what did you do?"

Button immediately launched into the tale of his encounter with the other gamer; by the time he was finished, the four foals had arrived at the school gates, and the three fillies looked concerned.

"Ya really need ta be careful what you say on the Internet, Button," Apple Bloom said. "Applejack won't let me use it without supervision; she says there's lots of crazy ponies on it these days."

"You sound like my mom," Button replied. "I'm not worried about whatever ToughPony42 – who should really change their name to SaltyPony42 – says. They're like most of the ponies who's butts I kick while playing that game; all talk and no action."

"Are you sure about that?" the familiar voice from behind him made Button freeze. "I did say that finding you would be easy, Button Mash; it just so happens that we live in the same town."

Button slowly turned around, expecting to come face to face with one of the other colts in his class, only to find himself staring into the angry eyes of one of his classmates.

"Diamond Tiara?!" Button gasped. "You're ToughPony42?!"

Diamond Tiara nodded. "I am indeed, Button." she smiled smugly. "Now, which are you more surprised by: the fact that a filly also plays video games, or the fact that you've learned something about me that – judging by the look on your face – you did not expect?"

"Both," Button replied. "I should have recognised your voice..."

"Well you didn't." Diamond Tiara held out a forehoof. "Anyway, I still found you and won the bet; one hundred bits, please."

Button cursed in Humongian and passed over a small pouch. "There's only sixty in there," he said. "That's everything I have; I was gonna buy a new game with it, but you can have it."

Diamond shrugged and took the pouch. "It'll do." she walked through the school gates, her smile becoming a grin as Button started to cry; casting a final glance back, she giggled.

"Who's salty now?" she muttered under her breath. "Loser."

Author's Note

I know that Diamond Tiara would never play video games, but she was the perfect pony to use for the purposes of the joke; we all know she'd happily take bits off anypony.

Also, it goes without saying that this story is set before she stopped being a little brat.