Vulgar Plant

by Evictus

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1169

Rarity and Pinkie Pie meet a vulgar plant

When Pinkie Pie introduces Rarity to a rude plant It takes Rarity all of her willpower not to smack it

Published 2017-07-15 01:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-15 01:50:06 UTC

What Did It Just Say

Rarity was at home as she looked at designs for her dresses, she wanted to make sure all of them were fixed before she started to create the dresses from the designs, she hoped that after she was done working she could do whatever she wanted for the rest of the day and not have to worry about work until tomorrow.

While she was working she heard a customer enter she put her material down she was going to put away and brought herself to see her customer only to see Pinkie Pie bouncing cheerfully in place, Rarity was surprised by not knowing that Pinkie Pie entered without her noticing it. She smiled at Pinkie Pie.

"Hi Pinkie Pie! Is Sugarcube Corner finished for the day? Did you just close up the shop and came here? What do you need?" Rarity asked as she knew that Pinkie Pie never really had a reason and just visited ponies at random. Pinkie Pie nodded.

"Yes I'd did! Can we hang out? There's something I want to show you!" Pinkie Pie said, Rarity became curious about what Pinkie Pie wanted to show her as she wondered where she would need to go in order for Pinkie Pie to show her what she wanted to show to her

"What do you want to show me? Is it close? I don't want to go far for it, as it's only one thing you want to show me." Rarity warned, Pinkie pie nodded understandingly and responded to Rarity about her concerns

"It is close, you need to see it it's awesome!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, Rarity resigned herself to go with Pinkie Pie and had Pinkie Pie lead her to this place she wanted to show her, Rarity wondered about the reasons for Pinkie Pie to be so excited for a location? Was it a land of sweets or something? Rarity shook her head at this ridiculousness but she decided to trust her friend anyway.

Rarity followed Pinkie Pie to the location as she thought about the possible outcomes of what was there, and once they got their they stopped and Rarity saw a flower in front of her with Pinkie Pie squealing in delight, Rarity became very confused, she wondered about what made this flower so exciting as she has seen many flowers.

"I don't get it...." Rarity stated, Pinkie Pie bounced in excitement as she tried to get out the reason why she brought Rarity to see a flower, finally she manage to get the words out.

"Rarity I was taking a stroll through Ponyville and I went outside of the town for a bit to get away from all the crowds and once I got to this place that's when I saw this flower and you know what it did!? It talked it talked Rarity!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, Rarity was stunned by the dumb joke about a flower that could talk, that sounded ridiculous to her she thought that maybe Pinkie Pie was a bit to crazy she turned to her friend and looked at her closely.

"Are you on drugs?" Rarity asked, Pinkie Pie giggled and shook her head no, Rarity then heard a yawn come from the flower and she looked at it moving, she was shocked of coarse. And then it spoke

"Oh it's you again, that raging pink...what were you again a pony? And your with your mule...friend...hell what have you been feeding yourself your fatter than me and that's saying something." The flower insulted, Rarity gasped and glared at it in anger, she was offended she wanted to stomp on it.

"What did you just say to me?!" Rarity exclaimed, Pinkie Pie nervously cut between them and chuckled anxiously.

"Hi Seed, meet Rarity my best friend!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, Rarity couldn't believe she was being introduced to a rude plant and most importantly how the hell could the plant talk.

"Wow you look like you've been around, and I'm not joking, every stallion must have rutted you in the entire land of Equestria, let me ask you something seamstress, when the stallions are having sex with you do they put a bag over your head so they don't have to look at the ugliness of your face?" Seed said. Rarity had it with this rude plant.

"Stop talking to me like that! I am a lady and I should be treated as such! How can you talk anyway? Plants aren't supposed to talk!" Rarity exclaimed in an angry voice, she glared at it and it only laughed.

"Well you would want to talk to after you've been a regular plant all of your life, I don't know what did it but...well I'm sentient now aren't I? At least I wasn't your snatch or you would be having a big problem there." The plant said laughing, Rarity excused herself for one minute and then confronted Pinkie Pie.

"Why the hell would you show me that....terrible creature! It's vulgar and it insulted you and me!" Rarity exclaimed.

"But Rarity it's a talking plant! Plus it's kind of cute!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed which pissed Rarity off.

"It is not cute Pinkie Pie! The way it talks is vile! It's talk is demeaning!" Rarity exclaimed while she whispered and that was when Seed spoke.

"What are you two ladies doing back, there having sex? I'm not surprised by Rarity as she probably has had something inside her everyday of the week but Pinkie Pie wow you must be wild creature!" It said, Rarity was seething through her teeth and Pinkie Pie tried to calm her down.

"Rarity we can make it stop talking like this, alls it has to do is learn some manners!" Pinkie Pie said Rarity sighed.

"It's dull here, maybe the fashionista shouldn't have shown up as her face has the power to bore ponies and creatures to death alike, if you had a superpower it would be putting others to sleep!" The weed remarked.

"I'm not going to teach it you teach the vulgar thing! I'm not going to!" Rarity exclaimed. She didn't want anything to do with the plant, she wanted to run away from it, Pinkie Pie could be friends with it but she wasn't going to be friends with it, she could only wonder what her friends would say about the crude creature.

"Come on I'm getting bored, if you two were prostitutes then that would be better than this, speak to me!" It said, Rarity couldn't take it anymore she left the plant, Pinkie Pie couldn't blame her as she knew that reaction was going to be expressed by her friend she looked back to the plant wondering what to do now.

"What are you staring at? That's creepy, I'm not good at staring contests so you might as well not initiate a staring contest but if you like staring then that's very creepy and also stalking." The weed said.

It was going to be a long day.