(Chapter 1) Um... I'm Sorry What?
I sighed in content when I was comfy on my sofa, the fire was crackling softly, and my coffee was nothing short of delicious. I took a look at my new tv, as it was showing the news and weather reports. There was scheduled to be heavy rain fall that afternoon. Normally I'd help out at the least, but my job as an electrical engineer was rather shocking if I do say so myself... No? Alright. So anyway, as I was sipping my cup o' Joe, something the news said made my ears perk. "Coming in now is an interview with Zapper Jolt! Zapper, can you describe what electrical engineering is like? I'm sure many Equestrians are still new to the idea of electricity!" The camera switched to a neon blue pony, neon green mane, and a wrench with an electric-like outline.
"Hey wait a minute, that's me," I said to myself. My wings... They were fried from earlier...
"Well, electricity is basically like an unending energy source that we discovered that combines the uses of electrons, protons and...." My expression turned to unamuse as someone yelled 'Neeeeerd!' in the background. "... Basically like magic, but science," I said boringly. The recorded me turned his head to another pony in the background with wide eyes. "Nonono don't touch tha-" an electric zap sounded as I covered myself with my wings. The camera switched back to the station with an undeterred mare continued about the weather.
"That was embarassing," I said to myself. I'm, like, the smartest pony in the entire laboratory (and workshop of electrical equipments), why does everyone insist on teasing me by calling me a nerd. I guess I'll just have to talk to Twilight about it. She's a bright mare, it's no wonder why I get along with her. Pinkie on the other hoof is a complete mystery. I have tried and tried again to calculate the reason why her mane is basically an interdimensional portal into a pocket dimension where she had stuffed almost everything for an emergency. Twilight warned me, but I didn't listen. As I was thinking about all this, I suddenly realized I was out of coffee. Getting up, I headed to the kitchen to put up my mug. As I walked in, I looked out the window to see two eyes, staring right back at me. I jumped, dropping the mug in the process. I looked down to see my shattered used-to-be mug. I glanced at the window to see that the eyes were gone. I sighed, thinking I only imagined it. I heard a knock on my door. I carefully crept back to the living room to open the door. I opened the door to find a changeling, red and pink.
"Good evening," she said. I stared back before getting back to reality.
"Oh right, sorry come in," I said. I don't mind changelings, but the colors really threw me off. It just looked so... Bad! I quickly cleaned up the kitchen floor and returned to the sitting changeling, offering tea. I then noticed the basket she was holding. "If you don't mind me asking, why're you in Ponyville? A little too far from home?" I asked. She shook her head.
"Yes and no, see I'm returning to my hive, but I can't risk them seeing her," she gestured to the basket. Realization came to me.
"You have a baby? How? I thought only the queens had children," I said. She nodded solemnly.
"I honestly have no idea. I can't bring her because I fear the queen will think I'm going to overthrow her. It's bad enough we look like pastel rejections," she said. I couldn't stifle the chuckle from me, but she smirked none-the-less. "I know, we look pretty awful color-wise. Back to the matter at hoof though, I cannot risk the queen of my hive to think I'm gonna try to overthrow her, as she might kill the baby in the process. I've been looking around in Ponyville, as this is where most culture coincide, and I saw you," she stated. My stomach flipped. "You seem so lonely most of the time, and I saw that you're not as busy as most ponies. So, I thought you might be a good choice!" She exclaimed, and sipped the cup of tea.
"No," I stated instantly. "It's not that I don't like changelings, but this is a kid changeling, and I'm a pegasus, don't you think kids might make fun of her when they realize that?" I asked. "Also, I don't know how to take care of changelings in general, and I have never been a father!" I said. She merely giggled in response.
"Silly pony, changelings feed on both physical and emotional food. For emotional food, you just have to hug her and mean it. For physical, we can eat almost anything. For the most part, changeling babies are the same as pony babies- er, foals right?" She asked. I nodded. "Yes, they are the same as foals for the most part."
"Still, I don't think it would-" I was interrupted by a thud on the floor. I looked down to see the changeling in a sort of begging position.
"Please, oh please! I don't have any other option, and if I did, it is probably not as good an option as you, orphanages don't accept changelings, and there are so many ponies who don't even have a care for them! Please, I'm begging you!" She exclaimed, catching me off guard. Suddenly, we both freeze as we heard a small cry. We both turned to look at the basket, shaking a little. She went over to it, picked it up and started rocking the baby. She uncovered the basket and inside, I saw, a small light blue insect-like pony, crying her little eyes out, reaching out for her mother. I felt a pang in my heart as o stared at the changeling. Instinct kicked in and I reach for the baby. The changeling stood, waiting to see the results of our encounter. I held the baby with my arms, and she slowly stopped crying and looked back at me. She tilts her head in curiosity, and I mimicked her movement. She looks at her mother and sniffles a little. I instantly, carefully, started hugging her, and she started to calm down. I rock her gently as some sort of force of mine told me what to do. The baby yawns, or rather, chittered in a yawn like way I guess, and went back to sleep. The changeling mother smiled softly. "See? You were worried for nothing." I kept rocking the baby gently, and sighed.
"Fine, I give. I'll give it a shot. Will you ever come back?" I asked her. She smiled sadly.
"I will, but I'll be gone for so long. Please, take care of my little angel for me," she said. I looked at the baby. Then, I looked back at the mother.
"I'll protect her with my life," I said.
After the changeling fiasco, I decided to take care of Bluey. Hey, don't judge me, I'm not a creative pony when it comes to names. After, like, two months, she actually started walking and flying a little. Feeding her was not as problematic as I thought. When it came to sleep, for now I'm letting her snuggle with me. She wouldn't have to worry about midnight snacks, at least, since she would only have to hug me to get food. One day though, I thought, 'Why not take her for a walk?' It seemed like a good idea... At the time. Trouble started when I was walking near Sugarcube Corner. Since Bluey could walk I let her be under my right wing. I kept on making sure she was okay.
"Hiya Zappy!" Pinkie exclaimed from her counter through the window. I stopped and looked through said window to see Pinkie waving excitedly. It was then I realized, I messed up. I figured out that changeling babies are a little sensitive to noises, and when Pinkie meets a new pony... I simply smiled nervously and waved back. I started continuing on my way, but Pinkie popped up in front of me. "Whatcha doing here Zap? I thought you'd wouldn't get out of your house until-" she spotted the changeling baby in my right wing, "Oh my Celestia is that a foal?!" Pinkie exclaimed loudly. Bluey back peddled out of my wing and bumped into the wall. "Wait, a changeling foal?... Zappy, is there something you're not telling me?" She asked. She scooped up Bluey, who was either confused, terrified, or both. I took Bluey, asked Mrs Cake to watch her for a moment and got back to Pinkie.
"Well, someone came by a couple months ago," I said. "She wanted someone to take care of her baby, and I was the only one she thought was a good idea. I dunno why she thought that, but I hope it's the right choice for the kiddo's sake."
"Wait what?! How are you better than me at babysitting?!" She glared at... Um... I don't really know who she glared at, she just kinda glared at someone off to the side. I sigh and pat Pinkie's head.
"Don't fret too much over it. I'm taking care of her as a parent, not a babysitter. The difference is that a babysitter gets paid to do it, and doesn't have to deal with a kid all the time. A parent is a literally full time job where you only get paid with the sight of your kid growing up. Hopefully," I said with a smirk. Pinkie tilted her head at me with confusion. "No, I'm not her father or any blood relative at all," I explained. She nodded. Twilight rounds the corner, spotted us and runs over.
"Hey Zapper! What're you two talking about?" She asked. Pinkie interjects immediately.
"Zappy's the father!" She pats me on the back with a force that knocks me to my front legs in a kneeling position. I got back up to see Twilight's face. Not gonna lie, it was priceless.
"No, I'm taking care of Bluey until her mother comes back," I said.
"Bluey?" Twilight asked. I nodded and went inside to see Mrs Cake giggling as Bluey licked herself clean of chocolate cake. She chittered loudly, and I couldn't help but chuckle, bringing attention to myself. Twilight and Pinkie came in and saw the scene. "... Is that a baby changeling?"
"Yep. I'm lookin' after the kiddo," I said. I noogied Bluey's hair for emphasis.
"... Mhmm," Twilight said. She looked at Bluey with curiosity, and I could tell that she saw an oppertunity.
"No, Twilight, you cannot experiment her," I said sternly. Pinkie giggles while Twilight blushes with embarrassment.
"I-I wasn't thinking that! What would make you think I'd experiment on a sentient being?!" She asked. I gave her an unamused look.
"You turned a frog into an orange and you were not worried at all," I said.
"That was once!"
"You literally changed a group of bat's diet and did not give them any alternatives, which would lead them to starvation and eventual death."
"... Okay so maybe-"
"You had unleashed a cubic meter of parasprites into Ponyville, then changed their diet, which technically made it worse."
"Okay Zapper-"
"One last example. You decided to not use common sense and pretty much destroyed other sentient beings, supposedly, and hoped for the best that you got the right one. I know it's easily avoidable because when you have too many Pinkies who say that they are the real Pinkie and the one Pinkie who says that she doesn't know herself is indeed the real Pinkie because she's sad that no one will know it's her specifically as the fake Pinkie do not know you guys enough to care. I also want to mention the fact that you lack common sense sometimes," I said the last part under my breathe, only Bluey heard it and she giggled. Twilight is extremely red, smoke coming off her head as she glared daggers into my very soul.
"... I admit, I was not very... Knowledgable, but I learned from my mistakes," she said. I nodded.
"Indeed you did. I'm still not trusting you to foalsit my kiddo though," I said. She grumbled, but nodded. "Pinkie, I'll consider you to foalsit her okay?" I asked. Pinkie nodded her head so blindly fast, I actually got a little dizzy to that sight. "That's good to hear. Anyway, ya ready to go my kiddo?" I asked my little blue changeling. She nodded. We went off back to the house, and I kinda felt relieved to know that the kiddo won't have to worry about the infamous Pinkie Welcome Parties. I opened the door, only to find a banner saying, "Welcome Bluey!" Hung on the ceiling. Balloons were literally everywhere. Music blasted at us as everyone said, "Surprise!" I smiled nervously while Bluey was ecstatic. I was seriously worried that Pinkie would scare Bouey with a party. You know, new strange looking ponies are everywhere acting super friendly with you. It creeps me out, but Bluey loves all the attention she's getting. I sighed and just walked into my room, ignoring everyone's welcome. I turned to Pinkie.
"First order of babysitting, don't let her stay up past eight. It takes her hours to calm down. Make sure she gets sleepy and tired. As long as she's okay, I don't care what you do. Goodnight." With that, I promptly went of my room and flopped on the couch, ignoring the music and chattering and laughter. I just gotta wonder, why me?
