Eternal, Nightfall

Momma, Momma…
Why don’t you hear my call?

Momma, Momma…
Do you not know that I hurt when I fall?

Momma, Momma…
Do you not love me at all?

Your own flesh and blood, Momma.
Your eyes, your mane, your coat.

Why don’t you hear my call?
Your posture, your stature, your royalty.

And yet you look right past me and ignore me like a lone leaf in the fall.
Why, Momma?

Momma, Momma…
Do you not love me at all?

~==~==~==~==~

The filly looked up at the moon with watery eyes while she tried her best not to make a sound as she wept. Atop the cliff, she’d perched for five hours and counting now, pondering what she had done to be hurt so badly and every thought returned back to a singular source: her Mother.

What had she done to deserve such animosity from the one who gave her life? This question she asked herself for three years now and still she had no answer nor a clue. It ate at her like termites feasting on the hardwood of the Everfree.

“I love you, Momma. Why don’t you love me back?” the filly pondered, “I love you, Momma. Please love me back.”

With one last look at the moon and the mare she saw in it, the little filly turned away and dragged her hooves back from whence she had come. When she came to a halt, she was now at a pond and afraid to look into it. Why was she afraid to see herself in its serene mirror? Was she scared that she would see the reason she was not loved, but hated? Or maybe she was afraid that she would see her mother looking back at her instead of herself. Whichever it was, the filly was reluctant to peer into the water and chose instead to notice the fog that had set in around her.

She tried to recall the last time she had seen daylight or daytime at all. Alas, the memory avoided her like the lack of love from her beloved mother did and this made her cry once more. But that was minute in comparison to the filly who had abstained from everything that she could since she ran away from the place she called home. She soon focused on one thing off in the distance and felt her heart stop when the castle she stared at seemed foreboding. She gazed at it long enough that everything was starting to catch up with her so she averted her eyes and looked down into the calm water.

She felt her body beginning to ache from how long she had ran and how far too. Her mind screamed to be comforted by anypony that would notice her and give her any kind of attention at all. And her stomach made loud gurgling sounds as it begged the filly to intake some sustenance.

“Momma, why don’t you love me?” she asked for nopony in particular. She was all alone in the wilderness, after all. There were no other souls except for the glow-bugs, the frogs, and the other critters that stalked the night.

Her belly spoke again but this time in much more force that she doubled over in pain. Good thing she was crying already, because it made it easier for her to let out foalish sobs as she fought the pain until it subsided. Once the pain had ceased, the filly laid there on her side for a moment before she sluggishly got back onto her hooves and lugged herself over to the one thing that seemed to bring her some serenity, as sick as it might sound if she ever told anypony, before she held her head over the small lake and looked down into it.

Being so lost, so hurt and broken, the filly’s mind began to speak words of doubt to her en masse now. The voice in the back of her mind told her all the reasons why she was unloved and hated by all but until this point, she had fought against it, which was futile after she stared down at her own reflection that was revealed to her by the grace of the wretched moon.

“Momma, do you not love me because of my eyes?” the filly questioned as she stared at the pond’s doppelganger of her and its bright teal eyes.

Nothing responded to her aside from the croaks of the frogs that sat on the lily pads and the crickets chirping; playing their soft melody to one another and the voice in her head.

Momma hates you for what you are.

“Is it my wings, Momma? Do you not like my wings?” she asked her visage next and it seemed to respond silently by unfurling its feathery wings and holding them out at length for the filly to see. Nightfall saw the black wings and the under feathers that were laced with streaks of purple and red and frowned at the thought that maybe it was because of her wings. But then she also saw the streaks of dark lilac in her ebony coat and got scared when she thought she had seen her mother’s face for a moment.

Momma can’t stand the fact that she gave birth to a mistake like you.

“Momma, if not my eyes or my wings, then is it my horn?” the filly stared at the crooked magenta horn sticking out of her forehead with a frown.

Momma would be much happier if you had never existed.

The filly quickly turned away and hid her face in her hooves and bawled loudly without a care anymore if she’d be heard—not that her wish would be granted anyway.

“Maybe she would be happier,”

Momma never wanted you, Nightfall. She despises your existence.

“Why does she hate me?” Nightfall asked the voice and found herself staring back at the teal-eyed filly in the lake.

Why don’t you go ask Momma yourself?

That voice in the back of Nightfall’s head was beginning to seem like it was right about something; but just what that something was, was a mystery to Nightfall. Although right then she couldn’t think of any other better answer to accept, even with her stomach growling once more for something to eat.

Nightfall spread her wings and took to the air and flew home to the castle in the distance. She glided through the open window and landed on the red rugs that adorned the bedroom’s granite floor. The twin bed to her left was neatly made, with its royal red comforter complementing the matching pillows and the tapestries that hung above it.

With how immaculately the room had been spruced up it told Nightfall that her mother’s assistant, Rarity, had done her daily rounds around the castle and made sure everything was prim and proper. It brought a sense of comfort to Nightfall though as she stared at her bed and saw herself curling up in it for a well-deserved rest, but she couldn’t, not yet. She had to do something still and trotted to the door and pulled it open, then stepped out into the hallway. Knowing the castle by heart Nightfall went left and mosied on down the hallway until she came to a set of stone stairs, then she trotted down them to the ground floor and guided herself towards the throne room.

It was there that she found the pony she was looking for. Sitting on her throne in all her majesty was a mare of surreal beauty. Her black coat glistened in the pale moonlight that shined through the large moon-shaped skylight and accentuated her ethereal blue tail and mane. Nightfall stared in awe at the ruler, both admiring the iron helmet they wore and fearing them too.

Nightfall stalked towards the throne with her head down low and hesitation in every hoofstep. She wasn’t trying to be quiet or sneaky necessarily, but she was trying to keep her heart from pounding and her breathing in check as she approached the matriarch.

“Halt! Who goeth there?” the mare shrieked.

Nightfall froze in place and held her breath.

“I’ll repeat once more. Who goeth there?” the alicorn asked before opening one eye. Her face soon went from frightening Queen of the Night to one of disgust and loathing when she realized that the filly before her throne was none other than Nightfall, her daughter. “Oh, it’s just you.”

Nightfall’s body quaked at her mother’s loathful response to her presence and her head dropped further down to hide the tears that were now present in her eyes.

“He...hello, Mother,” Nightfall whimpered.

“What is it you want?” Nightmare Moon questioned her daughter.

Nightfall did not respond. She instead stayed quiet and tried to fight back her tears while her mother’s cruel words hit her harder than Iron Will’s headbutt. It wasn’t until Nightfall felt the granite beneath her hooves rumble and the sound of her mother stomping the seat of her throne that she looked up and met her eyes.

“Well? Answer me!” Nightmare Moon shouted at Nightfall. “Or get out of my sight!”

Get out of my sight. Those five words made Nightfall’s heart shatter in front of her face. Those cut her deeper than any name she had ever been called but not as deep as the scowl on her mother’s face as the two of them exchanged looks; Nightfall stared at her mother in terror and hurt while her mother looked down upon her with disgust and hate.

“Begone then!” the ruler of the night yelled at Nightfall. “Get out of my castle!”

“Why don’t you love me?” Nightfall asked her mother. “Why don’t you love me?!”

“You’re a disgrace,”

Nightfall’s jaw dropped, her pupils shrank and her breathing became ragged while her body shook in pain at what she had just been called by her own mother. She didn’t know if she was still breathing or not as those two words dug into her chest like Diamond Dogs burrowing beneath the quarry in search of diamonds before feeling like it was being ripped open afterward.

I love you, Momma. Nightfall thought to herself.

“You’re worthless,” Nightfall’s mother stabbed again.

Why don’t you love me, Momma? Nightfall wondered now, cringing at the next words Nightmare Moon said to her.

“You’re a disgrace. Useless and worthless, just like your father.”

“Shut up!” Nightfall screamed out of desperation to stop her mother from talking about her like she was trash. “Why don’t you love me? Why?!”

Nightmare Moon’s wings snapped open and she got a menacing look in her eyes towards her daughter.

“You’re worthless like your father, that’s why!” Nightmare Moon shot back. “And just like him, you are nothing to me. Nothing but a nuisance that needs to be dealt with!”

Nightfall couldn’t take anymore and she turned away. As she did so she heard her mother’s thunderous laughing behind her and her mother’s final words as she cantered as fast as she could out of the throne room.

“Run! Run fast and run far. Run back to your worthless father!”