On most other nights, Fluttershy would have been situated in her cozy little cottage, sipping slowly from a cup of piping hot tea, and snuggling with Angel Bunny in her comfiest chair. She would have sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed the quaint, quiet atmosphere, and perhaps would have even done some reading while getting cozy by the fire. After that, she would have called it an early night, nestled into a warm, soft bed, and would have drifted peacefully off to sleep to get a good night's rest for the next day.
Instead she was standing outside in the cold next to Ponyville's only alcoholic establishment, the Crooked Horseshoe.
"Come on, Fluttershy," said Rainbow Dash, grabbing Fluttershy's hoof to drag her inside.
Fluttershy was surprisingly resistant to Dash's pulling. "Are you sure it's...safe?"
Rainbow Dash paused for a moment. "It's just a bar", she replied, and immediately began trying to drag her inside. "Besides, you agreed to go with me tonight. Everypony else was busy!"
Fluttershy looked uneasy. "But what if there are thugs? Or ruffians? Or...or...vagabonds?"
"What? I don't even know what a vagabond is, but I'm sure there aren't any here. It'll be fine, I promise. If anything happens, I'll get us out safe and sound."
Fluttershy anxiously leaned and peered over Rainbow Dash and through to the entrance. It was dark inside and indistinct chattering emanated from within. "Well...I suppose it wouldn't hurt to just take a peek inside."
Rainbow Dash smiled and Fluttershy took a deep breath as they walked into the establishment. Immediately, she was greeted by a cacophony of sounds and smells. A musty odor permeated the air amidst the crowded room full of loud and sweaty ponies, loud music blared over top of even louder conversations, and bursts of laughter happened seemingly at random from different locations throughout the room. She almost felt dizzy from the surge of sensory information to take in.
A burly character from behind the counter welcome them. His voice was surprisingly loud, causing Fluttershy to jolt backward when he first spoke. "Welcome to the Crooked Horseshoe, this your first time?"
Rainbow Dash leaned back with a sly grin to look cool, "Yeah."
"Well, you may not know this, but all first-timers get their first drinks for free," he replied as he cleaned a glass mug with a dirty rag. Fluttershy made a mental note to avoid using that mug in particular.
Rainbow Dash gleamed. "Seriously? That's awesome! What do you have?"
The bartender glanced behind him. "Beer."
"...That's it?"
"And cider. Hard cider, of course. None of that un-fermented stuff."
Rainbow Dash pondered her choices. "Hmm..."
The bartender waited a few moments, then spoke again. "The beer is six percent alcohol and the cider is eleven."
"Cider it is!"
"Alright, two hard ciders comin' right up!"
Fluttershy, who had shied away behind Rainbow Dash, raised a hoof to object. "Oh, I won't be needing anything..."
Surprisingly, the bartender heard her. "Nothing? It's free, you know."
"Oh yes, I know."
The bartender seemed perplexed at first, then slightly annoyed. "Why don't you want my cider?"
She froze at the sudden increase in tension. "Well, I..."
His voice grew louder. "Is there somethin' wrong with my cider?"
"No, of course not, I just--"
His voice was booming. "Nopony has ever declined a free mug of my cider, and if there's nothin' wrong with it, why wouldn't you want my cider?"
"I...I just--"
Suddenly, he slammed the glass mug he had been cleaning onto the counter and it shattered into pieces. They gasped as the shards scattered in every direction as they tumbled to the floor. To their surprise, nobody in the room else even turned their heads. Apparently it wasn't a rare event.
The bartender lowered his voice. "Well obviously something must be wrong with my cider, otherwise who in their right mind would refuse a free drink from such a courteous and generous pony such as myself?"
Rainbow Dash nudged Fluttershy and whispered into her ear from the corner of her mouth. "This guy seems a little crazy. Just take the drink."
Fearing the possibility of escalating things even further, or being mauled by a ruffian, Fluttershy graciously accepted the offer. "Okay, I'll have...one...cider please..."
The tension on the moody bartender's face snapped back to normal and he served them both two hard ciders with a smile and a calm voice. "Here you go. On the house."
They grabbed the ciders and quickly relocated someplace far away from the counter to sit down and drink. Rainbow Dash seemed a tad more excited than her usual self, Fluttershy noticed, but she supposed that was to be expected from a pony who enjoys going out and experiencing new things so spontaneously. She set her mug of cider on the table and slid into the booth.
Rainbow Dash immediately drank a mouthful of cider, paused for a moment, then swallowed. "Whoo!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, immediately taking a larger swig.
Fluttershy took a small sip from the edge of her mug. To her surprise, it actually tasted quite nice. A little bitter, perhaps, but she did enjoy the warmth it created as it traveled down her throat. She was more used to the tastes of wines, but it reminded her of a piping hot cup of tea. She took another sip.
Rainbow Dash burped and took an entire swig and a worried look grew on Fluttershy's face. "Rainbow Dash, maybe you should...slow down?"
Dash stopped with the mug against her mouth to reply, her voice muffled by the glass. "What? Me? Slow down? Come on..."
Fluttershy rolled her eyes. She started wondering just how much experience with alcohol Rainbow Dash had. Either it was plenty, or she was drinking like a sailor out of naivete. She decided to ask. "Rainbow Dash, how often do you drink alcohol?"
She gulped after taking another swig of her cider. "All the time. I mean, Applejack makes that delicious cider every year. I always stockpile a bunch."
A look of surprise appeared on her face. Everypony knew that the Apple family only made non-alcoholic cider. That's why it was so popular with everypony each year. She began to wonder if Rainbow Dash was aware of that fact.
"Don't you know that--" She cut herself off short to watch Rainbow Dash take a giant gulp from her mug.
Rainbow Dash swallowed. "Know what?"
She lied. "That...I...haven't ever had alcohol?"
"What? No way," Rainbow Dash replied with surprise. Fluttershy relaxed and sighed, unsure of whether or not to tell Rainbow Dash the truth. "Well, that will change tonight."
"Okay," she replied and took another sip.
Rainbow Dash finished off her mug and relaxed. "Wow, that was good cider. Don't tell A.J. this, but this might even be better than her's."
That wasn't surprising to Fluttershy, given that Rainbow Dash was grinning from ear to ear and her head was bobbing slowly from side to side. A burp exploded from her mouth unexpectedly, causing Fluttershy to slide herself a few more inches away from the table for a few moments to avoid the stench. It was at that moment that she knew Rainbow Dash was drunk. It had only been a few minutes, but Pegasi required much less alcohol to get tipsy due to their low body weight. And Rainbow Dash practically inhaled her beverage.
"Why did you want to bring me here?" said Fluttershy.
"Well...kinda...you *hic* see...nopony else wanted to come with me..."
Something told Fluttershy that she wasn't the only one keeping Rainbow Dash's naivete a secret.
"...Hey!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed suddenly. "Is that a karaoke stage? Oh my gosh, Fluttershy, you've gotta *hic* come with me and singgggggg!" She trailed her words much longer than necessary.
Fluttershy took another modest sip from her mug. "Oh, I couldn't..."
"'Flutters, come on...what's the worst that could happen?"
Truthfully, she couldn't think of any terribly horrible scenarios playing out as a result of her choosing to sing some karaoke with her friend. Perhaps that was due to the alcohol, she reasoned, but her mind was starting to get too fuzzy to care.
"...Okay...I'll do it," She replied, then eyed her mug and took another sip for confidence.
A stupid grin grew across Dash's face and she excitedly dragged Fluttershy under her wing towards the empty karaoke stage. A small crowd of ponies was grouped around it, but nopony seemed to be in line to sing next.
Rainbow Dash took this as an invitation to jump on stage. "What're we *hic* singing?"
The music that started playing in the background answered her drunken question. Of course, it was "Razzle Dazzle" by Countless Coloratura, which almost seemed like the only thing that was played in establishments these days. Rainbow Dash grew visibly excited as the first lyric came up and started to sing, her voice audibly slurred. "Time for the spectacle, time for the showwww, the lightsss are bright and the colorsss glow!"
After hearing Dash's drunken singing, Fluttershy decided to stand off the the side and observe.
Dash continued singing. "I'm not just any ponyyy, I *hic* think you know! The time isss now, it'sss about to blowwwwww!"
Apparently enjoying the show, another group of other bar-goers crowded around the stage to watch Dash sing out of tune. The chorus came, and she had the drunkenly brilliant idea of incorporating some dance moves, which mostly looked like vigorously flailing her hooves energetically about in random directions.
It was about halfway through the chorus that Dash finally realized Fluttershy had opted out of the performance. "'Shyyyyy, come on! Won't you dance with me?"
It might have been the alcohol, or it might have been the unbearable second-hand embarrassment she felt for her friend, but Fluttershy actually accepted the request. Stumbling up the stairs onto the stage, she stood next to Rainbow Dash and did something akin to a dance. Rainbow Dash had long since given up trying to sing along and instead upped her dancing maneuvers, the wooden stage beneath them creaking with the beat of the song.
A sarcastic voice came from the crowd. "Nice dancing!"
Rainbow Dash took it as a genuine compliment and moved even more energetically. The stage beneath her creaked louder and louder until at the climax of the song, the wood cracked beneath them and sent them both tumbling to the ground. The crowd erupted in laughter.
"Hey!" said the angry bartender. "What's goin' on over there? Who's breakin' my stage?"
Rainbow Dash tried to stand on her hooves in a drunken stupor, only to quickly lose her balance and fall over again. The bartender was coming over and Fluttershy had the strong urge to flee out the back entrance. The crowd pointed at both of them.
"You gonna pay for that?" He said, gesturing to the pile of broken wood.
Dash somehow got to her hooves. "Uhhhh, I...gonna pay for it. Just let me...get..."
The crowd watched with smiles and laughter. "I'll have what she's having!"
"Yeah, me too!"
"Me three!"
Seemingly sidetracked, the bartender turned around. "Super special cider, six bits each! Come and get 'em!" He said and he made his way back to the counter, ignoring them for the time being. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief.
"What?" said Rainbow Dash. "Come on...I want some of that special cider..."
Fluttershy helped her stay balanced on her hooves. "Maybe next time," she replied, putting Rainbow Dash's wing over her back as they made their way back to the table. She practically had to nudge her into place to keep her from sliding downward.
Rainbow Dash smiled with drunken stupor. "Hey Fluttershy...has anypony ever told you that you have a great mane?"
That caught her off guard, and she had no response.
Rainbow Dash Continued. "'Cause it's a great mane. It's so fluffy."
"Um...thank you," she replied timidly. She eyed her mug of cider, knowing the only way she was going to get through the rest of the night was to finish it off.
Rainbow Dash looked at her empty mug. "Hey! Where'd my cider go?" She whipped her head back and forth in search for it, despite the empty mug resting right in front of her.
"You finished it a while back," she replied as she finished her own.
"...oh, ok. Hey, I feel weird. Do you feel weird? Because I feel weird."
Fluttershy sighed. "There's something you should know, Rainbow Dash."
"What?"
"That cider from Applejack you always have isn't hard cider."
"...What?"
"It's not alcoholic. It's just fermented apples. Without the alcohol."
"I don't understand," Rainbow Dash replied. "Applejack told me it had alcohol. I asked."
That wasn't a good sign, Fluttershy thought. Apparently there was more to this story than she thought. But then the memories came flooding in. It was the very first cider season festival, and the Apple family really did have an alcoholic variety that year. Rainbow Dash drank more cider than anypony else. Fluttershy then remembered why they didn't serve hard cider anymore.
"I mean, I know I crashed into their house and ruined half their harvest that one time," said Rainbow Dash with full drunken honesty, "but ever since then I've been able to hold my alcohol really well."
"Oh," Fluttershy said out loud. It all made sense to her now. Apparently Applejack wasn't honest in every opportunity. And she didn't blame her.
"Maybe Applejack just keeps it on the down low, you know?" Rainbow Dash grinned. "Wouldn't want anypony reckless or dangerous with that stuff."
Fluttershy breathed another sigh of relief. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense..."
Rainbow Dash looked at a clock. "Anyway...I guess it's *hic* time to fly home."
Author's Note
Please drink responsibly
