No Place In Heaven

by fullhouse2509

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Sex, Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia, Dark, Human, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Drama
Length: 8456

Trevor S. Almine lives quite a life. A life of agony, loss, and impossible choices. But he is soon to experience a different plain of existence, where such trials will not confront him. But, living in a world opposite his own is its own tournament.

"I have lived a life of relative Hell. I have suffered the loss of many a friend, too many for someone as young as I. That would be the most major of my copious tortures, so much so that the others seem minuscule. I do not twitch in my sleep because I'm accident prone. Often times I find myself thinking. What would the world be like with more comradery, and less genocide? What if the world had at least ALMOST no murder, less poverty, less theft, less betrayal. Maybe that doesn't exist on Earth and maybe it never will. But such a place does exist somewhere, I just know it. It has to. But how to find it? Eh, maybe if I happen across a miracle, it might find me."

This story is done in the perspective of the human, Trevor Swan Almine, a human man who longs to see the world at peace, to see ANY world at peace. He will soon find himself in a world that is peaceful, yet quite hard to adapt to. A land of floating palaces, beautiful terrain, a lovely town, and TRUE friendship, never mind the talking animals. This was paradise. But, does a mentally and physically scarred human belong in such a Utopia?

This is my first story, criticism is most welcome.

Published 2017-07-17 22:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-25 03:45:55 UTC

A Prelude

Author's Note

This is the part of the story detailing a man's earthly trials. MANY, earthly trials. When will he see his world become different? Or, what if someday, he was at least able to see a world that already WAS different?

A Prelude

Sleep. Sleep can be a wonderful thing. Better than waking up, almost always better than what my day will hold, and, I am at rest, which is something I could use much more of. When I wind down to bed, I am full of anticipation of a night of peace. A night full of visions of a beautiful town, lush gardens and planters, and calm fun with my closest friends. Sleep. Such a magnificent thing, to be sure. Most of the time. Sometimes. More often than not, this is simply wishful thinking for me.

My town, is not beautiful. More often than not, the plants are dead or dying, or aren't there. My friends and I see each other maybe twice a week, if I'm lucky. And when we do, it usually revolves around rather large amounts of Jane and booze. Not that they are not great friends, hell they might be the only thing holding me together at this point. But my dreams, even my good ones, are spoiled the second I realize they are too good to be true. And then I awake, sometimes sweating, sometimes with a small drop of salt slowly working its way down my cheek. And sleep, isn't always composed of what I wish my life was like. That, indeed, is a rarity. Sleep itself, is a rarity for me, when many a time I lay in bed, and wait until my body becomes sore, then get to sleep whenever my brain simply shuts down. And, most of the time when I do sleep, my dreams are not beautiful, let's keep it at that for now.

I suppose some background is in order. I am Trevor Swan Almine. I'm 23 years of age, I live with my folks, I have four decently quirky canine companions, and I'll withhold where I live, believe me, I have reason to. Me, I'm lazy, pretty damn crude in general, and aside from the aforementioned sleep disorder, have an anxiety of my heart rate. No particular reason, I just hate hearing or feeling my heart beat, as I tend to worry about if it is going too fast. But, I digress. I do have positive qualities. I have been described as intelligent (sans my poor spelling), charismatic, dependable, and generally a really good guy.

Which, is all I ever really wanted to be. I don't mind if I'm never famous, or rich, or anything like that, albeit a bit more money would be nice. I'm getting sick of cupped ramen. No, I want to be an example. I hear of men and women who only look to themselves, who would sell their first born son for a hot fudge sunday. Men like Adolf Hitler, who destroy countless lives because he pretty much just doesn't like the idea of a certain group of people, not to mention his hunger for power. That's another thing I never understood, by the way. Unless you take it upon yourself to help those who are starving or dying, why is power so addictive? What's the appeal? I'm getting sidetracked. I want to be different than them, and I want to help other people be different than them. To teach men and women of any ethnicity, of any sexuality, to co-exist. Is that so wrong? Some people treat it as though it is. As though it is not only an impossible goal, but a downright stupid one.

I do what I can for folks. For fucks sake I got stabbed slightly above and to the right of my navel trying to get a speed freak off of an older lady. Wouldn't you think it the right thing to do to at least TRY and help? I should think so. It can't be wrong. And, here's the cherry on top. You know what my FORMER friend told after I healed as well as I was going to? You wanna know?

"Well, that's your fault for trying to be a hero."

You should have seen the look on his face after I fucked it up. This might sound a bit scary if nothing else, but it felt SO damned good to pound his ass into the pavement. Really, I saved her life, and he not only feels no pity for me getting shanked, but he's gonna put it on me like it was stupid and bad to try and help? Well, I won't put it past that it is pretty stupid, at least in that circumstance. It's never smart to try and take on a meth head, no matter the reason. But, an odd rule of life, sometimes the morally correct option isn't exactly the smartest. But he calls me a fool for saving her life because she wore nice clothes and some man needed his toxin. He isn't the only one who calls me a fool for trying to do right, not by far. Well, you know what, maybe I AM a fool. That won't change me. No, this example needs to be set. If mankind lives in fear of being generous and kind, civilization won't last a week. And the lady wasn't the only person I did such a thing for, not by far. I have helped many a fellow man at my own peril.

And perilous it is indeed. People who do good deeds tend to get on the wrong end of people who do evil deeds. And people who do evil deeds, in general, tend to be dangerous. I have lost many a friend to some that I have thwarted in the past. Friends who believed in me. Friends who actually shared my fools dream. Gone. Ash or worm food. And I'm still alive. Why? Why am I still alive? When can I see them again? Don't get me wrong, I would never take my own life. That is selfish. There is simply too much to do. This world needs me, and I intend on being here as long as I can to get as much done as possible. Still, I have to wonder. Is that way of thinking the reason I'm the one who made it? Damn. It's all so confusing. My head hurts whenever I try to wrap my mind around this dilemma.

So, here I lay, simply looking up at my ceiling, afraid of practically everything in existence, and thinking of what will come next. Will I have a good dream at least? Or will I dream of people who were just like me? People who make me sob every time they cross my mind. People whom I loved. THAT, is why good dreams are a luxury to me. I think of them while falling asleep, most of the time I think of them during my nightly (or daily) rest, and I see them when I wake. I cannot help but wonder. What if I succeeded? What if the world had only minor problems compared to it's current state? What if people got along? It must be possible. Anything is possible. I just have to make it happen.

Or, what if such a place already existed somewhere else? Could that be? I ponder this daily, and every time I come to the same conclusion. "Of course such a place exists somewhere, but will I ever see it?" A place where I can actually relax. A place that actually feels right, that feels like home. A place where I am free of my ghosts.

Wouldn't that be wonderful..........

New Horizon

Author's Note

Trevor is in for a world of oddity and an adventure he was REALLY not prepared for.

These first chapters may be a little short, sorry. Again, new writer, still figuring this out.

New Horizon

Bright. It was bright. I was not in my room. My eyes remained shut at the moment. I was waking up, but to what? I couldn't understand what could have happened. I couldn't have passed out drunk and ended up on the back porch, or the desert like fields near my house. If I were waking from a night of drinking, I would feel as dry as a trout in the Gobi. I was not home, nowhere near it, which immediately upset me beyond words. There are very few things that disturb me more than not knowing where I am. How? I fell asleep in my room, I remember that much. And, it was truly odd, my dream last night. I was in an unknown field, it was dark, but illuminated by a beautiful crescent moon. I remember looking around, scanning the unfamiliar terrain. My only company was an odd, magnificent creature. It resembled a horse, I believe. It had a set of large, lighted eyes. It was wearing what looked to be a sort of very small crown, and stood quite tall. But that wasn't the most deciding feature. It had what looked to be a mane of sorts, but it was of a beautiful blue energy, more or less the only color of the beast I could see. It said nothing, it moved not. Those eyes only watched me, spoke mutely to me, beckoned to me. I cautiously approached, as it was quite obvious it was a dream, but nevertheless, I am not the careless type. When I came close enough to reach out to it, that is when the brightness hit my closed eyes.

I reluctantly opened them. I may not have been hung over, but the sun in my orbs sure as hell made it seem so. I manage to defy gravity enough to sit up, surveying the nearby landscape. I was in tall grass, with trees to my left and a large plain to my right. As worried as I was, it was quite the setting, I must admit. As I shook the earth and thin leaves from my head and hair, I worked my way to my feet. I was able to see more clearly as I woke. As nice as this place seemed, I needed to find civilization, or at least a landmark of sorts. Probably the worst part, I didn't have my anxiety medication, nor any items to defend myself with. My J frame .38 would have been quite a comfort at the moment. Well, at least I still had my tobacco and papers (I am a bit old school, if that hasn't been brought to notice yet). I decided to walk the plain, as I doubted I would find any structures within the foliage to my left. I had to do something.

There was a bit of a journey ahead of me. Hills and rocks made it a bit of a chore to traverse the tall garden of grass and weeds, though very few weeds, which I thought was curious, being it a seemingly natural setting. I was thirsty. I drink a lot of water on a daily basis, and I have had nothing for the last half hour. Lady Luck, so it happened, was with me for once, as I saw a small pond nearby. I approached to examine the water. It was clean. I mean, spotless clean. How? Almost no weeds in a completely natural field, clean water in the middle of a dirt bank, it made no sense. I would consider it a second act to my dream, had i not fallen over my own huge feet and rolled down a hill. Not much pain, but this was definitely real. I was uncomfortable. Whatever was happening, I was far from the reality I was accustomed to. Still cautious, I tasted the water before consuming it. It was just like drinking a bottle of ice cold distilled water you would find at the store. It was truly clean. After getting my fill, I marched on. On the third hill after that, only able to judge by the fact that I was traveling in the opposite direction of the forest, I saw it. A road.

It was a neat, yet crude dirt road. Or maybe dirt roads just generally seem crude to me. either way, i was gonna follow it. I'd give it another half hour or so before I came within eyeshot of structures. Again, not necessarily modern, but I wasn't going to be picky. I didn't run, wanted to conserve my energy, but I certainly wasn't walking at a slow pace. I came to the "village" as I would describe at that moment. I saw a miniature horse exit the town on the road, carting a wagon that was full of unknown goods. There was no one else. Just the horse. I wanted to do something, he might be wandering off with something valuable, but approaching a strange horse DIDN'T exactly seem intelligent. I would at least survey the situation before I acted. I observed a few other things. Its eyes were rather large in comparison to its head (admittedly beautiful though), and its snout rather short from what I had seen before. It had a red coat, which again, was something foreign to me. Then again, this whole setting was foreign, quite literally. And, the last of the details which I happened to notice, it had what might have been poorly described as a "fur tattoo" on its flank. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, as I was minding my distance at the moment, but it was a rather light green. It wasn't a brand, or it wouldn't be so well blended into its fur. I decided to, still minding my distance respectively, quickly search for the owner of the wagon.

Man, what a mess. The horses, probably better described as ponies (I don't know the zoology in this instance), were everywhere. The town was overrun. they were in the houses, at the stalls, freely roaming the streets, and generally running the town at this point. I became a bit frightened. Who knows what could set off a stampede, or something equally catastrophic? I slowly began to duck behind a building and out of the line of sight of the ponies.

"Well, ain't you somethin' fresh for the eyes!"

From behind me came a short surprise, and then an immediate relief. A voice. Human voice. They even spoke English. OOOOHHHHHH LORD that's what I needed right now! Maybe she can help me understand what happened to this town.

"Yeah sorry, I'm REALLY lost at the mome-"

No one. There was a pony there behind me, but no one else. The pony had a cowboy style hat on, covering a braided blonde mane. Well, ain't this place something. I looked around for anyone that might have said something and ran off for some unfathomable reason. No luck. The direction in which the voice came from held nothing that could have obstructed my view of them. Really? REALLY now? I almost just gave up on that one, but it was the only lead I had, and I had to take it.

"Hello? Where'd ya go?"

"I don't reckon I went nowhere, stranger."

.......

It came from the horse. Or at least it seemed like it. Its mouth was moving in time with the words. Ventriloquism? I would REALLY love to believe that it was, but I've never know anyone to possibly throw their voice that well. That voice came from the pony. Alright, reality check. I punched myself in the jaw, causing the pony's eyes to widen a bit and take a small step back. No, this was real. I decided to take action and risk looking like a loony. I was gonna say something to the beast. If there was no response and I was crazy, well I would be among kin. They braided this ponies mane, and put a hat on it.

"Uhhhmmmm...... What's up?"

"I would ask you the same thing, sugarcube."

Alright, well, this was happening. I had a number of options at this point, but hell. If this talking horse could help me figure out where the fuck I am, then MAYBE I can come closer to finding my way out of..... where ever I was.

"Well, as I was gonna say, before I almost shit myself, I'm lost and confused. REALLY REALLY confused."

"Yer in Ponyville stranger. Mighty fine town, if I do say so mahself."

"Sooooo EVERY pony here can talk. And speak English. You're joking."

"Don't see why I would be. Why dont'cha go and ask one of em yerself if yer so skeptical?"

No time. I was out cold on the floor.

Resentment For Royalty

I was in trouble. Slowly, VERY slowly, recovering from my previous night hitting the cider with the six ponies whom I had become acquainted with the same day, had heard my thoughts (albeit, I was in a drunken fit of speaking my mind at that moment). My thoughts about my personal opinion of them, which, was less than impressionable, my thoughts of the memories that torment me, my thoughts of distrust, and my personal thoughts about Rarity, which was, again, relatively crude and without kind heart. This was a very poor moment to be hung over, and have reduced clarity in my ability to analyze, strategize, and generally think with clarity. What do I do now? My first idea that leapt to mind was to flee the scene, but I'll keep that plan down the list, as a last resort. How would I talk this out. "I was drunk"? "I didn't know or remember what I was saying"? I couldn't think. My thought process was clouded as the sky during the fallout. I opened my eyes to a slit. They were surrounding me, with worried expressions painted on their mouths and eyes. And, as a side detail, Fluttershy and Rarity also portrayed a level of terror. Rarity, I could care less. But first impression of Fluttershy, was very kind. She has shown the same general level of kindness that I wish I could mimic. At least that was the expression that she wore. To me, this was all too good to be true. They are going to use me, and leave me to the vultures once they got what they wanted. Maybe the pined after the knowledge of a new species, and would run less than pleasant tests on me. Maybe they will become afraid and either lock me up, or get rid of me entirely, which again, for a good while I thought to be not the worst possible scenario. But I block those thoughts as well as is in my human capability, which may be have a fair capacity, but limited, as nature apparently intended. Twilight broke the silence in the manner I honestly would have expected.

"You were..... quite upset about a number of things last night. We are worried about you, Trevor."

"From what I've heard while ya'll were in yer drunken stupor, you got a lot of problems goin' on in that noggin of yers. We wanted to help in any way we can."

Well, I can't deny they did get me into a bed, and with a glass of water nearby. I wouldn't dare say I didn't appreciate that at the time, but again, some part of me doubted it was out of pure kindness and generosity. "Some part", being "every part", I should clarify, in case it hadn't been picked up on yet. Still, at least a thank you was in order.

"Well thanks, ladies. I didn't mean to upset anyone las-"

Wanted. Wanted is past tense, usually implying that some form of action had already been taken. Not good.

"Did you say 'wanted'? I hope you mean "want". You mean 'want' to help, right?"

An odd, uncomfortable look was shared between all of them, which led me to believe I was about to receive upsetting news. Which I was honestly expecting sooner, but it was going to come eventually. I would be lying if I said I handled the situation with a calm, thought out manner.

"What did you do?" Dead silence followed. Even the living heart attack Pinkie Pie wore no joy on her face.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"There was someone else who wanted to meet you. Someone who can help, maybe even help you figure out how you got here. Someone I trust with all of my heart."

There were quite a quantity of flags being raised in my head. This is either quite good, or unfathomably bad. I had a feeling that this stranger would be the end of my "pleasant" stay here. Or at least have a hand in it.

"I can imagine that you would trust her too. She is Princess Celestia, one of our goddesses. She has wanted to know about you since the second I sent her a letter detailing your arrival. She is a kind and just ruler, and I just KNOW she can help you, with your personal, umm, 'problems', or with figuring out how my might get back to your world."

I was in trouble. Royalty, the rich, and those with excessive power, were NOT to be trusted. They were to be watched from afar, ESPECIALLY in a monarchy or oligarchy. How would I handle this? I had never been in the presence of higher class, no less a Goddess and Princess. Think... think.. think, think think thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink- A knock at the door. Applejack answered it with haste, and upon her leaving, I saw a smaller pony attempting to spy on us. Poorly, but I would assume that it was a child of sorts. Well, at the moment my troubles were bigger, as I heard heavy hoofsteps coming down the hall outside of the room I was currently recovering in. VERY, heavy hoofsteps. The sight that awaited me when those weighted steps reached the door horrified me. Two white stallions, wearing stern expressions and what seemed to be very Roman like armor, which I was too worried to ponder on. It didn't help that I was off of my medication, naturally. The one on the left began to speak with a voice of great authority.

"Princess Celestia has requested your audience. Please come with us."

"And if I refuse?" I had to do whatever I could to stop this, or at least buy time for myself to come up with SOME form of game plan. "What if I don't want to see her, or ANY of the one percent you got here? I don't trust those on the top of society, and with good reason."

"It is imperative that you come with us. She needs to know more about you. The public could go into a sort of panic if they know a strange creature that is shown in no books or records arrived with no explanation of how he got here."

Ahhhhh, now THAT, is a reason. Public control. I'm lucky I was found by such a collected bunch, I'll give them that. He was absolutely right, any general public discovering such a thing would be akin to an angel or daemon or something of that nature appearing on Earth. Mass rioting, bickering, hostile debate, a global social nightmare. I was to be on guard ever fraction of a second, but...... I needed to go. I needed to make sure nothing would get out of hand.

"Alright, you got me there. I guess I'm tagging alone. Where are we headed?"

"We will take you to the chariot. Follow us."

I gave a glance back at the six. A mix of concern for my current situation, gratitude for their possibly false intended assistance, and lament for forcing me into such a situation. I rounded the corner. But, I felt something in my head that wasn't pain. What if I never saw them again? I..... didn't know why that was of any concern to me. I had no trust in them. Still, the thought gave me a pain in my heart that I couldn't explain. It felt just like when I think about never seeing my friends and family back home again. This is ludicrous. I've known them for a day. But I had started to take action before I knew I was moving my body. I asked to be excused for one moment. I went back into the room, observing their confused stares. "Sorry, thirsty." I grabbed the water glass, and began to drink. Slowly. Some part of me just wanted to be around them a few moments more. I was so confused. These feelings were completely illogical. And yet, here I was. The water was gone. Honestly I was still thirsty, and contemplated asking for another glass before my departure, but given that there were guards waiting for me that I PROBABLY didn't want to keep waiting. I thanked them all before walking to the door, to which they followed me. As I stepped into the sunlight, which in my current state I could compare to a mag light being held to my eyes, I turned back. I was not aware of my expression at the time, but I spoke in a tone in which I had a guess of how my face looked.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever make it back to see you all again, but if I don't, I want you to know that even though our time was short, I'll miss you all very much." I turned to Rarity. "Even you, ya little priss." Her expression wasn't even offended, more that of an understanding sorrow, which seemed to be donned by everyone else as well. Were their feelings mutual? Couldn't be. I wasn't about to believe they would miss me, why would they? Then again, why would I? I was completely lost. Here I had feelings for people I'd known for a day, and in my own history I had been betrayed horribly by someone I considered the man I could trust the most. Why? Why did that happen? Why is THIS happening? I wanted to spend more time with them, but...

"Sir. We would like to get moving, if you are ready."

"Right."

I decided to do everything in my power to not look behind me. I forced myself. Eyes forward at all times. Just keep walking. Just keep walking......

After something of a five minute walk, we reached a chariot. The armored pegasi led me into the decorative wagon. Of course it looked decadent and extravagant. This was the rich. This was nothing less than exactly what I anticipated. I worked my way inside, the six still on my mind. "So, where are we going exactly?" They pointed upwards (without fingers, naturally), and in that direction I saw a palace. A floating palace. Fear of heights. Oh Lord. I was in trouble. But this was not a situation in which I could turn down. For the sake of the people, I had to press on. They strapped themselves to the vehicle, and we took off (which I thought would be the worst part of the flight... I was incorrect).

Oh dear lord the fright of flight. When I was 13, I was with my dad driving along the freeway on our way back from Monterey. We came up to a large rock formation that was known to my folks as "Rattlesnake Mountain". We decided to climb up a ways, just for the hell of it. I, however, being the young 'un that I was, I continued to climb while he was viewing the scenery on the other side of the freeway. When he saw that I was still climbing, he yelled for me to stop. I pretended not to hear him, and carried on. I was but 5-6 feet from the top when a rock crumbled, and I next saw myself hanging by my left hand 12 stories above a busy freeway. I would imagine that contributes to a small but specific part of my PTSD. I don't do heights, I suppose is the point I'm trying to make. And there I was flying to a castle which rests on the nests of air and levitating water that we call clouds. There was no vomit, but from what I can force myself to remember of that nightmare, there was quite a bit of shaking and more than a moderate amount of shouting profanity (some of it unnecessarily vulgar).

But, that would not be the hellish highlight of the day. We landed upon a strip paved with beautiful light purple and quite well kept bricking. I swear. How much would people pay for rocks, when the Apple family had to sleep in crude wooden cots. I shouldn't grind my teeth, they always say. But if I didn't I might have bit someone. I never looked at the rest of the scenery surrounding the castle, but I'd bet my leg I can tell you exactly what it was. Miniature mansions, golden fences, and massive yards upon which rests thousand dollar toys for kids who would mature to spit in peoples faces. I hate this so much. Words, pictures, even a look inside my own mind cannot express this point enough. My rage acted as side blinders as we approached the gargantuan doors. They do that intentionally to make others feel small. Insignificant. The knocker is bigger than you. You get the idea. Again, I could elaborate what the inside looked like, even without looking anywhere but straight ahead.

Aaaaaannnndddd here we are. The throne room. With a uncannily elongated passage to the thrones themselves. Not for larger meetings (although that too, lets be honest), the real reason was so that you would have to look at them with no emotions except for respect for a good 20 seconds before you can discuss the issue you came to. After bowing, naturally. But, it would not be wise to show any of these ideas through my face, words, or mannerisms. I need to play their game, and maybe this won't take any longer than absolutely necessary. I approach.................... words fail me. I suppose in my best flawed effort I could describe this as what many people back home would consider "divine". An alicorn of snow white fur, golden shoes, and what I will admit to be beautiful, very light purple eyes. It's mane, oh it would take an entire novel to describe her mane. Again, in a pitiful human attempt, a sort of energy. Some form of visible light, of a very fascinating color spectrum flowing like the river near my old house, when the waters were at its calmest. Wait......

That was remarkably similar to the enigmatic figure I saw in that vision before I woke up in this "world", we'll call it for simplicity's sake. The hair of what the mind might invent to be a sort of chakra, swaying like vapor. But the setting was different. That was at night, this was the day. At night she was as dark, somewhat void, and a bit frightening. But at day, she was again, as bright (which I might add something, if you will recall, the darker one had a moon on her flank, this one had a sun), she wore a warm face, and had an aura of a sort of serenity, which fruitlessly attempted to calm me. What was going on? Did this princess live a double life? As I was pondering this, I noted that the second throne was empty. Was it a sort of "Yin Yang" scenario? Did she have another that took on different duties, or was it all the same entity? I forced myself not to concern myself with that until I needed. First, I needed to know what SHE had to say, painful as it was.

"Hello. Trevor was it?"

If I were not focused as I was, I might have mistaken her for my mother. She didn't even sound like my mother, but she had an almost maternal voice. One might familiarize that kind of voice as someone holding you and telling you everything is alright. Now THAT, succeeded in resting my tension, albeit not by much.

"Yes, highness. You are Princess Celestia?"

Again, you gotta play the game to get the points.

"No need for the formalities, though they are appreciated." She said with a warm smile. "I understand you found yourself with no idea why or how you came to get here."

Straight to the point, so far so good.

"Yes, if I could I would tell you exactly where I woke up, but I got no idea what direction I came into Ponyville from. I never got around to getting my hands on a compass."

She didn't seem to change her expression at all. This concerned me. She wore the same...........

It was a knowing smile.

"Well, me and my sister know why you are here. We need you here."

"Say what?"

The tension was back. If someone who controls the sun, and what probably confirmed my earlier idea of a counterpart that dealt with the moon, needed me, I would wager my liver that they had the power to nab me from home. But, grit your teeth, and keep going, I instructed myself.

"We prophesied that a great conflict would arise, and that the Elements of Harmony would not be enough to halt it again. Our books were, however, able to tell us exactly where and who to find, which I find to be odd. I do not recall myself ever recording that."

One question at a time, Almine.

"What's this conflict, first of all?"

Her expression darkened. "Something that seeks to undo order. Something that wants to bring chaos to our world. He is named Discord, and it seems that, although it will take him a while to regain his power, we cannot stop him in the way we did last time."

"You say you saw me in a book, to the letter, but you, who writes them, have no memory of writing it?"

"Yes, it is almost troubling."

"And what are these Elements of Harmony, you mentioned?"

"Loyalty, Honesty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness, and Magic. I believe that you have already met"

"I only wish I knew those kinds of things where I'm from."

"I wasn't talking about the Elements as though they were only mere ideas."

"Can you explain?"

"To be straight forward, they were the ones that met you first. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie Pie all host an element within them."

Sucks to know Rarity is an actual big shot, but, I digress.

"And you say they won't be enough this time."

"Yes. On the pages in which this is all written, there is an illustration of the elements lighting up, as last time. But there is something else there. It seems to be a slot for another element, just above the rest. But I have no idea what it could be. But, according to it, you are that last element."

This baffled me. I represented something they they have, but don't know. At least that was what I could conclude. What was it to be? Before I could question further.....

"I'm sorry, I just received a letter, I must go. My sister will be along later to answer any other questions you may have. I'm sure you understand, I have much responsibility on my shoulders. Show him to his room, please."

She trotted hastily past me, but not before giving me a motherly smile. "Hang in there, we will get you home."

Yeah. After I do what she needed me to. Then she will just be glad to be rid of me. Oh sure, she might say "You are always welcome here!", but I refuse to believe that she would say that if there were no one else around to judge her. I know how these things go down. But if I want out, I gotta do what boss says. I hate the rich and royal.

Author's Note

I was going to run all one long chapter for this one. but I believe it might be TOO long if I did, so I will cut this chapter here.

Confusion, Introduction, And Inebriation

I awoke with a sharp headache, mainly concentrated at the back of my head. Well, I do recall talking horse and falling backward, but I was out before I hit the ground. I was determined to continue laying where ever I awoke. I had no need, and ESPECIALLY no desire to see another English fluent animal for at LEAST a few more minutes. I have witnessed many an instance in my life in my life where logic and rational thinking has failed me. The disappearing ghost girl on the train tracks is quite a valid example. But now I have talking horses. Yeah, I had a hell of a day ahead of me, I could only pray to whatever higher entities may exist that it be only a day. But, I thought to myself, that maybe I should not try and ignore this. HEY! Maybe when I open my eyes I'll have just taken a bad fall, and that was a hallucination of sorts.

No such luck. I crack my eyes to see I was in a house, or a furnished library, with the giant bookcases surrounding me, it was hard to make a call on that. And in said house... library............ building, were six of them now, blondie included. The other five were colorful characters. I didn't even know who they were. But they were colorful in a literal sense. Pink. Purple. Blue, with a rainbow colored mane and tail. This had to be purgatory or something. Yeah, that's it. The hit on the head killed me, It wasn't Hell as far as I could surmise, and I was PREEETTY sure this wasn't Heaven. But, it is what it is now. Whatever "it" might happen to be. So, I figured I might as well roll with it, although easier said than done. I was thinking of what to say, but the speech didn't begin with me.

"So you have NO idea what it is?" Came a rather refined, yet uptight voice from a white mare (gender judging by voice), with what could be described as a royal purple, expertly curled mane and tail. She had three diamonds, or what I would assume were diamonds, on her flank, and the sight of this brought me back to the green mark I saw on the larger red pony, whom from the build of the body, I assume would be a stallion. And, hear this, she had a horn. A horn. Was this one of those unicorn things? When did I get vacuumed into one of my niece's books?

"None of my books ever described such a creature. I'm at a loss." A relatively normal voice, originating from the purple mare, with a dark indigo "hair" scheme, but each with a pink highlight. Her main mane was cut into bangs, and she sported a horn as well. But, here's the kicker. It was glowing, and the same glow levitated a book in front of her, in which she was focused intensely. I was gonna die in that room, I was sure of it.

"Ugh, it's filthy! Look at him! Smell him! I think I need to leave the room." The white pony said before departing. Good, fuck her. Doesn't even know who or what I am and talking down on me. I can already tell me and her are going to have a LOT of trouble getting along. Hopefully I wouldn't have to try, maybe I scared her off. I hoped. I wished. I begged.

Now I came to wonder. Are they all like this? What if there was a horn hidden under the manes of the others? I might not have been able to see it under her hat. This was racking my cranium. So, I decided, probably quite foolishly, to check. I sat up (SLOOOOWLY, my head was still suffering tremors), reached for her when she wasn't looking, and I felt around her forehead. Nothing. What was more of a surprise, she didn't seem to recoil at all when I did. I would have expected a different reaction. Instead, I got this.

"Aww, shucks sugarcube don't mention it. I'm just glad yer safe." She chuckled with one eye closed and ears pointed in different directions. Don't mean to get sidetracked, but THAT, was fricken adorable.

Okay, my first assumption was that she brought me here after I K.O.'d myself, which I'm not gonna lie, given the fact that we were in public (of a sort), and that no one there seemed to know exactly what i am, I was much more comfortable hidden from the eye of the town's general populace. Second hypothesis, which was a bit easier to reach, was that she thought I petted her for her deed. And, again, there was no complaint coming from me. I'm in a land where apparently no one has seen a human being before, a good impression would have been a decent boon for me. However, at that moment I realized, I had failed to retract my hand, and was still "petting" her.

"Thank you again anyway." I muttered weakly, my voice reminding me I was still in quite a bit of pain.

"EEEEEEEEEE!!! IT TALKED!!! HI!! I'M PINKIE PIE!!! WHAT'S YOUR NAME???!!!"

Oooowwwwwwww. That, was NOT conductive to my recovery. Pinkie Pie. Yeah, I could see that. Her very light pink fur, her deeper pink curly mane, she sure as hell wasn't "Sapphire Susan". And, her energy. Her sheer bodily energy, which was made a banner of sorts by her hopping in place and her face hovering so close to mine that I almost felt nose contact, could have eliminated the need for nuclear power. Yup. Another relationship in peril for boring old me. I wasn't gonna try to find out if she had a horn or not, for a number of reasons. For one, if she thought I was petting her, she'd probably knock the bookshelves down, and guess who is too injured to get out of the way? Second reason, from the appearance of it, if I were to get my hand in her curly mane, I had no guarantee of getting it back.

"Hello. Volume down please. Head. Ground. Sore. I'm Trevor. How about the rest of you?"

"Applejack. Nice ta meetcha!" Said the cowgirl. Horsegirl. Lady.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle. It's very nice to meet you." Greeted the purple mare.

"Rarity. Charmed, I'm sure." Didn't notice miss hoity-toity in the corner covering her snout with her hoof, which came as a surprise to me, I didn't think their joints would be able to bend that way. Still, I disliked her with a passion. Rarity my ass. People who think their shit don't stink and a little dirt on them is the end of the world are not, repeat, NOT a rarity where I come from. At least not as much as it should be. But, I digress.

"I'M PINKIE PIE!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR US TO BE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER!!!!"

"Yup. Hello Pinkie. Again. Look, I REALLY don't mean to be rude, but do you remember what I said about volume?"

"OOPS! Sorry." She attempted to whisper the second part of her apology, and was still louder that the others. And went right up to my ear when she did it. Magnificent.

"Well, I'm glad to see he has some level of manners. And Pinkie dear, you must remember that Applejack told us that when he fell backward, he hit his head on a muffin stall." I truly hope that I didn't break it. They probably have an entirely different currency here, hell an entirely different type of economy if I had to take a guess, the last thing I need to do is to pay for repairs right now.

"And you, miss?"

"Rainbow Dash, and please don't call me miss. I hate it when ponies call me things like that." I can relate. I never was fanatical of being called 'mister' or 'sir'. Wings. A pegasus! Magnificent! I don't know if they follow the same termanology here, but at least I had some idea. I always loved the idea of the pegasus, and now here she is. Splendid, nothing less. Her pelt was a sky blue, and her hair short and sported rainbow colors. Shocker.

"Right, my bad. Anyway, how about you over there?" I called to a rather bashful looking mare, another pegasus, with yellow fur and light pink mane, which i thought was a rather odd color scheme, but, odd is the new normal, apparently.

Her response was inaudible.

"Say what?"

"She's Fluttershy."

"Right. Pleasure." No need to pursue any further. "Nice to make all of your acquaintances."

"Aren't you forgetting someone over here?"

...... I wasn't sure I was until that moment. It sounded like a younger teenage boys voice. I scanned the room, and only when looking down past the brim of the couch cushions could I see a purple lizard with green rounded spikes trailing his spine. One thing that caught my notice, he was a biped, like me. He was standing on his hind legs, and his claws, while still being claws, resembled hands. I briefly considered putting my hand up to his, flashing back to one of my favorite childhood movies. But, it wasn't the brightest idea, I would think, so I decided against it. Phooey. I always wanted to capture that moment with somebody. Ah, well.

"Right, sorry, I didn't notice you. I'm still a bit dizzy." I was actually a bit proud of myself for how I played that one off. "What's your name, friend?"

"I'm Spike. Welcome to Ponyville!"

I do gotta hand it to these guys, ............. girls and guy, they sure are giving me quite a warm reception. Can't say that was unwelcome. But, I needed a pain go-way, and sooner rather than later.

"Damn, I could use a drink more than a breath of life itself right now." Me saying the word 'damn' almost caused Rarity to faint. I'm keeping that mag in the gun. I can see myself using that to my advantage, or my entertainment if nothing else.

"Sounds like we could use some cider A.J.!" Came Rainbow Dash's tomboyish voice.

"I don't doubt it, but take it easy this time, alright Dash?"

"GOTITLETSGO!" And she was gone the second the last 'word' left her mouth. Muzzle. Snout. Voice box. I don't know, what do you want from me?

"Did she move or teleport?" I asked, my confusion most likely apparent. "She was out before I finished blinking!"

"Well, she's not called Rainbow DASH for nothing."

"I guess not!" You can explain it all you want, that was downright frightening. But enough of that. Maybe this mess will make a little more sense if you're drunk. "Alright, well let's hit the hay!" They gave me an odd look. Whoops. But they seemed to understand what I meant. We started to leave the building.

We ambled to a barn centered in a massive apple orchard. Massive is quite the apt description, I assure you. It stretched for miles with no end of the trees in sight. They seemed a bit confused about the fact that I walked on my rear legs, but they didn't appear to be shocked, I assumed it had something to do with the fact that spike did the same. It was only a matter of time before one of them inquired about my species, Twilight took the lead.

"So..... what are you?"

"We're called humans." I was this close to referring to us as 'Terrans', sprouting from my love of a 1999 computer game. Buuuut I blew it. Damn. "You've never seen one of me before?"

"Nope. Never."

"Well. I don't feel out of my setting at all. Man, how do you think i go-"

And with a gust of wind Dash was back with an almost worrying quantity of bottles. I hope she didn't have the same problem that I had, I wouldn't wish that on that little princess in the back of the squad. After clearing my eyeballs of dirt, I was poured a mug, which I always wanted a mug. Beer from a mug seems much more respectable than a 24 oz. 99 cent can of Naddy Daddy.

"Thank you all for the warm reception and for keeping me safe in this moment of GREAT confusion. Cheers!"

"CHEERS!"

It was sweet. I didn't care for sweet things. I used to live off of them, which is probably why I lost my preference for sugar. But, it was alcoholic, and that was EXACTLY what I needed at the moment. Mug went down. Another round. This process repeated about twice for everyone but me and Dash. We just kept slugging them down. My mistake. I began to ponder how things were back home. I vanished. Or died, probably the latter. How worried they must be. Will my folks be alright? Then the rest hit me. All of the other things that come to my head at the worst possible times. These ponies are too nice. Yeah, they'll just help me out from the kindness of their hearts. Right. That's really happening. They just want me so they can figure out what I am, and then they dump me in a ditch somewhere. I've been through this song and dance before. Pinkie is probably the one who is intended to get my trust in them, being all happy and that shit. Like they're good people. Fuck that! AND FUCK THAT WHITE MANE BITCH! I SEE HOW SHE LOOKS AT ME! LIKE I'M A FILTHY BEAST! FUCK HER! FUCK ALL OF THEM! I just want the memories to go away. I just want to not see my friends ghosts in my head, asking me why I'm not with them. I just need to keep drinking so I can pass out. I can't think about this anymore.

"I think you've had enough, sugarcube. Help me get him inside, Twi."

I spun around, which was not in my best interest, as the immediate effect was a fall to the floor. I recall being picked up, and the horrified faces that they wore as I was dragged past them. I recalled realizing that I had said every word of that out loud. Then, I remembered nothing.