Frieza goes to Friendship School

by Thought Prism

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dragon Ball Z, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Gallus, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Comedy
Length: 16656

The nefarious Lord Frieza finds himself in the most horrifying situation imaginable: being forced to learn about friendship as an adorable little colt.

Lord Frieza is many things: a master of cruelties, the self-proclaimed emperor of the universe, perhaps the most feared being in said universe besides Beerus. For his participation in the Tournament of Power, Goku promised to wish him back to life with the Dragon Balls if they were victorious. Frieza had even stooped to actually fighting side by side with his nemesis to achieve that goal.

However, he neglected to specify that he keep his old body in the process.

Now, he finds himself in the most horrifying situation imaginable: being forced to learn about friendship as an adorable little colt. Strap in, folks.

Published 2018-05-20 02:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-03 18:29:25 UTC

A Fate Worse than Death

Frieza's eyes snapped open, his tired body aching all over. The first thought he had upon waking was that he didn't remember falling asleep. The second was that something felt off.

Groaning, he scanned his surroundings from his prone position. It became immediately apparent that wherever he was, Frieza very much didn't want to be there. Many mysterious objects hung suspended in the air, staining his retinas with their too-bright colors. Others lay sprawled haphazardly along the floor or atop archaic furnishings. The only thing he recognized was the artillery device in the corner.

His first instinct was to blast the offensive hovering things into nonexistence with a small fraction of his unmatched power, but when he raised his arm at the nearest one, he gasped. Where his lithe, muscled arm had once been, there was now some sort of hairy, fingerless stump. What the devil is this? he thought.

To better examine himself, Frieza stood. Or at least, he tried to. Bafflingly, his legs seemed unable to support his weight. Growling at the indignity, Frieza instead opted to launch himself into the air. However, that too proved fruitless, as his body remained sprawled on the floor. Wait, thought Freiza, his eyes widening, oh no no no no no this can't be happening. I can't feel my energy! Not a single speck of it!

Now, for only the second time in his entire life, Frieza felt truly afraid. In this state, he was completely helpless to enforce his will upon others! He couldn't even blow up a simple planet, let alone his many adversaries!

Scrambling frantically on all four legs like an infant, his heart pounding in his chest, Frieza desperately searched for a reflective surface. When he found one on a wall, he could only stare in abject horror. The face staring back at his was not intimidating in the least. It was the visage of a tiny, pathetic herbivore, the sort his minions would effortlessly dispatch for a quick lunch. He was still white, the crown of his head was still purple, and his eyes were still red, but that was the extent of the resemblance. Aside from the aforementioned hair all over his body, he was now a full-blown quadruped. He didn't even have a prehensile tail with which he could choke the life out of the fools who dared oppose him! Instead, it was made entirely of the aforementioned hair.

The sight made him want to vomit. Copiously.

Ok, Frieza, don't panic. Such actions are beneath you. Slowly, he managed to calm himself back down, shutting his in contemplation. In an effort to find an explanation, any explanation, for his current predicament, he searched his recent memories. The last thing he could remember was participating the Tournament of Power at the behest of his filthy Saiyan nemesis. While the whole 'no killing' thing make the event less enjoyable for Frieza as it could have been, it was still better than being trapped in his own personal hell for eternity. Especially considering he and his universe were the strongest among those participating.

And that was when it hit him. Right... we won, and everybody else was basking in their hard-fought victory, their happiness souring my mood again. Then I brought up the topic of my resurrection, Whis said I deserved to be happy too and then—

The realization hitting him so hard he nearly fell over, Frieza's eyes roved further upwards, to the space above his head. And he saw exactly what he expected to see: nothing. No halo. He was alive again. But at what cost?

Snarling in rage, Frieza slammed a hooved foreleg into the mirror with all his strength, which was barely enough force to crack the glass. "I can't believe this!" he exclaimed. "That loathsome angel went ahead and resurrected me before Goku could! Except he was actually cruel enough to strip away my power and my dignity in the process! The monkey would have been too stupid to think of that!"

He paused, his scowl deepening. Even his voice had changed, now higher-pitched and squeaky. "Will the indignities never cease?"

Frieza should have known better than to tempt fate, as that was when the door to the room opened. The creature that entered looked like he now did, except this one was bright pink and wore a smile. He hated it already.

The figure approached with an unholy, springy gait that defied reason. "Hey there, you naughty little guy! What are you doing in my room?"

Frieza tilted his head back to stare at the probably-female-now-that-he-got-a-closer-look alien that loomed over him. He desperately scrambled for an explanation, but couldn't come up with anything. Rather than stand and fight, his new body's first instinct was to shy away like a recently kicked space puppy.

When he failed to reply, her eyebrow rose... along with her entire head, as her neck stretched impossibly long so she could loom directly over his back. "Well?"

Wait a minute, thought Frieza. Pink, stretchy, terrifying... this must be that Majin Buu I keep hearing about! And I can't possibly fight her in this state. That left only one option, unfortunately. "I apologize for the intrusion, mighty Buu," said Frieza, very much reluctant. "I'll just be going now."

At this, she giggled, her neck and expression both returning to normal. "Oh no, silly, I was just messing with you! I don't mind, really! Also, Buu? Is that a new nickname? I like it, it's cute!"

Frieza blinked in confusion. "Wait, you aren't Majin Buu? Then who are you?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said, her arms spread wide as confetti rained down from somewhere. "Party pony extraordinaire! My Pinkie Sense was telling my there was in unattended foal in my house, but I never expected it would be somepony new!"

Frieza cringed at the display. Somepony? Kai, that's idiotic. Is that what I am now? A 'pony'? And judging by the size discrepancy, not even an adult one!

"Anyway," continued Pinkie, "What's your name? Where are your parents?"

Now that he knew this 'Pinkie' probably wasn't going to eradicate him, Frieza no longer allowed himself to be intimidated. He straightened his posture as best as he was able, to project his usual aura of confidence and malice. She didn't need to know he was powerless at the moment, and would let his reputation alone serve his needs. "I am Frieza. Lord Frieza, Emperor of the Universe."

However, she did not respond with the expected awe and fear that was usually evoked when he announced himself. Instead, she giggled again. "Ooo, I love playing pretend!" Pinkie then quickly contorted her face into a stern yet goofy pout. "I am Lady Pinkamena, Empress of Frosting!"

As Pinkie raised a hoof overdramatically, Frieza audibly exhaled. It seems these creatures have somehow not heard of me.

"For realzies, I need to take you back to your family, though," Pinkie said. "Are they in the bakery downstairs?"

Frieza narrowed his eyes. This pony was testing his patience. "I have no family, not anymore. I never knew my mother, and my pathetic weakling of a father is long dead."

Pinkie's eyes widened in shock, her mane sagging. "T-That's horrible! You poor thing!" Then, before he could react, Pinkie lunged forwards to try and crush him to death in a brutal surprise attack.

"Ack!" he exclaimed, struggling desperately to escape her grasp. Curse this useless body!

When the force of her hold did not increase after a few, tense seconds, Frieza realized something. Wait. This is one of those 'hug' things, isn't it? Unbelievable.

"I have no need of your comforting! Let go of me at once!" said Frieza.

Reluctantly, Pinkie broke away, stepping back and sniffling. "O-Ok. I guess, in that case... I know exactly what to do."

Frieza was very much dreading what the answer would be, but he had to ask. "And that is...?"

"If you don't have a family, friends are the next best thing!" Pinkie then grabbed Frieza's hoof in hers and started dragging him away, much to his displeasure. "There's plenty of room at Twi's Friendship School!"

As Frieza was whisked away down a broken escalator made of dead plant matter, his face was locked in an expression of utter horror. A Friendship School? Friendship? School? Friendship ranks right up there with love, empathy, and compassion on the list of the most pointless, contemptible concepts in existence! And school? I never went to school! I never needed to! Any time I couldn't just figure out how to do something myself on Space Ask, I threatened a smart weakling to do it for me on the penalty of extreme suffering if they didn't!

By the time his internal tirade was over, and Frieza was once again able to focus on his surroundings, he had already been pulled outside. Apparently, he was in some sort of tribal village, filled with flimsy structures. They were painted in bright pastel colors, and populated with equally bright, pastel ponies. Not only that, the sky, sun, grass, and clouds were all obnoxiously inviting and pristine. There were even plenty of flowers.

Images of the personal hell he had been trapped in for years, so similar to this place, flashed before his eyes. Freiza shook with revulsion before addressing the most pressing issue: Pinkie Pie. "I never agreed to any of this!" he exclaimed. "What you're proposing is the last thing I want, you aggravating imbecile!"

At this, his assailant's jaw dropped. "WHAT? How can you not want FRIENDS?" she asked. "Friends make everything better!"

Frieza turned away. "You have no right to question me, worm."

Much to his chagrin, Pinkie completely ignored him. "Here, I'll show you!"

As she led him forward, skipping merrily as she went, upbeat, instrumental music inexplicably started playing from somewhere. In disgust and confusion, Frieza's ears folded down to block out some of the noise. But it was not enough, and Pinkie began to sing.

🎵Friends are awesome, friends are great, definitely something to celebrate! When times are tough, when you're feeling blue, your friends are always there for you!🎵

Frieza paled, which was no mean feat considering his coloration. Oh, please, no. I take it back! Cease, indignities, cease!

Other ponies began to watch as she continued. 🎵Go without, and you'll miss out! Have some laughs, have some fun, friends should be had by everyone!🎵

And then back to the chorus. 🎵Friends are awesome, friends are great, definitely—🎵

Unable to take any more, filled with incoherent rage, Frieza tilted his head towards the heavens. "EEEAAAHHHHHH!"

Both Pinkie's lyrics and the background music careened to a screeching halt. One could almost hear a record scratch. Pinkie turned to stare at Frieza, who was panting with exertion after screaming for a solid ten seconds straight.

"It is not an exaggeration on my part when I say that was literally the most painful torture I have ever experienced," Frieza stated. Seriously. Those pixies and stuffed animals back in hell only sung near him, not at him. "If you value you life, and the lives of those you hold dear, do not do that again."

Pinkie continued to stare. "You don't need to be such a drama princess. If you wanted me to stop, all you needed to do was ask."

I was being serious, but fine. Whatever. "Very well."

The rest of their walk went by in an awkward silence. Frieza tried his best to ignore the other ponies, and the town, and anything that looked too joyful for his tastes. So, basically everything except his own thoughts.

He stopped to more carefully analyze his current situation. Frieza most certainly wasn't on Earth, or any other planet he was aware of. He may not even be in Universe 7 anymore. More relevantly, he was powerless. For a moment, he considered ending his own life, but quickly decided against it. Though this place was about equal to hell in its horrors, at least he had agency here. Frieza, given time, would come up with a plan to regain his body and his strength. The resources available at in institute of learning, despite its purpose, would undoubtedly aid him in this. He just needed to make sure not to draw too much attention to himself in the meantime. Perhaps I shouldn't have threatened to kill Pinkie and her family and instead held my tongue for once. Too late now.

Frieza really didn't want to yield his birthright and integrate himself into the ranks of these ponies and their society, but his internal musings offered him no better choice. If I'm lucky, this world will have a set of Dragon Balls I can use. Then I will show these pathetic fools what it truly means to fear.

Obviously, he hadn't met any ponies besides Pinkie yet, but he assumed they were all pathetic fools compared to him, and would continue to think thusly until proven otherwise.

"We're here!"

The obnoxious mare's exclamation drew Frieza's attention back outwards, and he looked up at the structure in front of him. He was actually pleasantly surprised. It seemed to be some sort of fortress carved from blue crystal, its tall, reflective façade likely meant to blind any would-be invaders. What made him smile, though, were the plethora of pointed carvings and spires, sharpened to razor-thin points that looked simply perfect for impaling people and displaying their corpses in a show of foreboding.

When Pinkie saw that he was smiling, this brought back her own. "I'm so glad you're in a good mood now! Finally excited for school, huh?"

Frieza knew better than to correct her, and simply said nothing while keeping his eyes on the fortress.

"That's not Twilight's School of Friendship, though; that's her Friendship Castle!" informed Pinkie. "The school is right over to your right. Ha, right mean two things!"

Oh, well so much for my opinion of that building. The architect should be incinerated for his ill-conceived design sensibilities. Sighing to himself, Frieza aimed his gaze in the direction indicated. After a few blinks to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him, he frowned.

It was as he feared. The actual building he was going to be spending most of his time within for the foreseeable future looked exactly like all the other structures in the primitive settlement, only larger. Its inviting pink and purple trim was broken up by peaceful waterfalls which cascaded gently into a calm pond. Joy. My favorite.

Steeling himself for the horrors that most assuredly awaited him, Frieza crossed the stone bridge over the pond and went inside. Pinkie led him straight to an office near the entrance, where another mare waited, slumped over a desk. This pony was purple, and had a pair of wings, as well as a single horn on her head. Curious. Perhaps that isn't her final form? he mused.

"Hi, Twilight! Sorry to interrupt your business, but I've got a new student here for ya," said Pinkie.

Twilight, hearing this, sat up straight. "That's okay, Pinkie. And did I hear you correctly? Is this colt a prospective friendship student?" Eyeing Frieza's contempt-laced expression, she frowned. "He doesn't look very eager to learn."

"Of course he is!" said Pinkie. "He's just sad because he's been all by himself." Then, she leaned down to pinch his cheeks. "Freezer here has no family, so he needs lots of love! Also, a dorm room."

At this, Twilight gasped. "He's an orphan? That's terrible! Of course I'll enroll him right away!"

As Twilight reached into a nearby drawer to pull out the appropriate form, Frieza's brow furrowed. "Village Idiot here got my name wrong. It's Frieza."

Pinkie tilted her head to the side. "That's what I said."

Twilight, only half paying attention, started scribbling in all the blanks on a the form, quill held aloft in her magenta-colored magic. "Name... Freezer."

Frieza groaned. Of course.

She then glanced up at Frieza for a second. "Race... Pegasus Pony."

Frieza blinked. It seemed there were multiple types of pony. Pinkie had no extra appendages, while Twilight had multiple. Well, the horn clearly grants its owner psychokinesis. Wish I had one.

Now that he was thinking about it, Frieza decided to doublecheck his new body. Sure enough, his actually came with a pair of tiny, feathered wings. He flexed them experimentally. Hmm. This will take some getting used to. Really, manual flight? How asinine. Previously, he could have simply willed the heavens themselves to accommodate him, as even they yielded before his might. However, now he would have to put in actual effort if he ever wanted to fly again.

"Age?" asked Twilight.

"I have no idea," Frieza replied, truthfully. It was kind of hard to keep track after dying and being resurrected twice.

Twilight looked down at him in pity, which Frieza neither wanted nor needed. She took a deep breath. "That's alright. We'll leave the rest of this blank for now. All that leaves is where to put you, and I know just the place."

Twilight knocked on the numbered door with an almost motherly smile on her face, causing the bile to rise in Frieza's throat.

"Don't worry, your life is bound to get better soon, I promise," she assured him.

Oh yes, thought Frieza, bitterly, it will. Hopefully at the expense of your own and many others.

When the door opened, Frieza was expecting another pony to open it. Instead, holding the knob in a set of claws was a partially feathered blue creature with a beak. His annoyed expression quickly changed to one of surprise when he saw Twilight. "Headmaster! What are you doing here?"

"Good afternoon, Gallus," she said. "How are you? Finished with all your homework, I hope?"

At this, Gallus glanced away slightly. "Uh, most of it. Why are you here, teach?" Then, noticing Frieza, he added "And who's this?"

Twilight draped a wing over Frieza's back, causing him to flinch in disgust. "This is Freezer. Starting tomorrow, he'll be joining your class. He also needs a place to stay, and I was thinking that, since you didn't have a roommate yet, he could stay with you. Is that alright?"

Gallus' eyes widened. "Oh, uh, sure. I guess so."

"Great!" said Twilight. "I'll leave you two to get acquainted. Those first building blocks of a new friendship are quite important, after all!"

Gallus smirked. "Heh, I guess they are. And as my dad always says: more is better." After shooting a quick grin at Frieza, he turned back to Twilight. "See you in class, then?"

Twilight nodded. "Yep. Until then, I had better follow Pinkie's lead and get back to work. Take care!"

As Twilight cantered off, Frieza sighed in relief. Finally. Both of those blathering fiends are gone. Now to ascertain this new annoyance.

Gallus extended a taloned hand towards Frieza. But before he could formally introduce himself, Frieza walked right past him, batting the limb aside.

"Wow, ok, what's got your tail in a knot?" he asked, his head crest bristling.

Frieza just ignored him, instead familiarizing himself with his new accommodations. The room was tiny, barely larger than one of the equipment lockers on his flagship. On each side, there was a small bed, along with a chair, a workstation, and two separate storage units. The set on the right was adorned with a whole manner of paraphernalia, most of it likely useless, while the one on the left was totally empty. There isn't even a rejuvenation pod. Just how much of a backwater is this planet?

"I'm beginning to see why you got enrolled here," muttered Gallus. Then, he walked up to Frieza. "Look, if we're going to be roommates, you have to talk to me. Open up, or whatever."

Frieza growled, his tapered tail lashing to the side as he bored directly into his eyes. "I, in fact, will do no such thing, Gallus. You will not rob me of what little I have left. I am not here by choice, and the only reason I remain is that the alternatives are all somehow worse. I will play by the rules, of course, but you didn't make them."

Gallus blinked. "Could have just said 'no thanks'."

When Frieza callously resumed examining the room, Gallus sighed. "So, I'm gonna go meet up with Sandbar at his place to hang out now. You can just... keep doing that. Get settled in."

"Good," was Frieza's curt reply. And he meant it. Perhaps this won't be so bad after all, if all my 'peers' will acquiesce as they should.

As Gallus pulled open the door again, his head turned. "If you have any questions about how anything works around here, Freezer, a copy of the Student Guidebook is on my desk. Grover knows I needed it."

"Ah, that actually sounds helpful," said Frieza. "Now leave. I wouldn't want to keep you from your important social event, after all."

After rolling his eyes, Gallus obliged.

Now blissfully alone, Frieza trotted over to Gallus' half of the room to locate the book among his many belongings. Once he found it, he sighed to himself. "Let's see what fresh nightmare I've gotten myself into."

Author's Note

I've had this idea brewing in some form ever since Goku first approached Frieza about the tournament like a year ago. I'm glad I waited until my other projects were finished (as usual) though, as this season's gimmick was the perfect way to make Frieza's stay in Equestria as miserable as possible. :pinkiecrazy:

The Gift of Suffering

The next day, Frieza reluctantly left the relative bliss of sleep to prepare himself for his first day of classes. As set about the arduous task of figuring out how to clean his disgusting pony shell using the primitive tools available through trial and error, without hands, no less, his mind wandered to what he'd garnered from the guidebook.

It had been useful, coming with a map of the school grounds Frieza had memorized. From his readings, he now knew that he didn't need to worry about money, as the entire operation was government funded. Why this nation of Equestria deemed such an asinine facility worth supporting was beyond his reckoning, but that was at the very least one less thing he needed to worry about. Another minor relief was that not all six classes happened on every day of the week, due to the busy schedules of the teachers. Also, two of days of the week were designated as the 'weekend' and had no classes at all. He would be free to do as he pleased 2/7ths of the time.

However, on top of the whole 'learning about friendship' thing, there were so many rules. If he skipped class, broke curfew, didn't do his homework, or attacked someone, even verbally, he would be punished. That last one was akin to salt being poured in his wounds. He couldn't even get himself expelled intentionally, lest he risk starvation without the use of the cafeteria.

Speaking of, that was where he would be heading first. When he was finished in the bathroom, Gallus waited impatiently by the door, tapping his foot.

"Finally," said Gallus. "It's like you've never had a shower before, or something. I would have just left without you had I not recently learned to know better, Freezer."

"How deeply moving," he replied, thick with sarcasm. "I won't be keeping you any longer." Then, Frieza gestured to the door. "By all means, lead the way."

After rolling his eyes, Gallus did just that, and the pair of them made their way over to the cafeteria.

By the time they got there, the place was bustling, eliciting a sigh from Frieza. Many creatures, most of whom were ponies, sat at tables with eachother alternating between eating and chatting amicably. After waiting around in a line, Frieza was able to wordlessly pile food onto a tray. He was going to make a beeline for one of the completely empty tables, but Gallus waved him over.

"Come on, Freezer, let me introduce you to my friends," he said. "They're pretty cool, I think you'll like them. Maybe."

I'm expected to socialize outside of class? Hooray. "Alright," Frieza said, groaning to himself.

As they approached, the four other students at the table paused from their meals to greet Gallus. Interestingly, Frieza observed that none of them were ponies.

"Good mornin', Gallus!" exclaimed a light pink female. "Who's that with you?" she added.

"I'm glad you asked," said Gallus. "Silverstream, this is my new roommate, Freezer. Freezer, this is Silverstream. She's a hippogriff."

Silverstream waved at him. "Hiii!"

"Charmed," replied Frieza. "And who might your other... lovely associates be?" he asked Gallus.

A small blue insectoid straightened, "I'm Ocellus. It's nice to meet you, Freezer. And I, um, apologize if my being here makes you uncomfortable. Being a changeling and all..."

"It's fine," Frieza said. You are all equally insufferable regardless of species, I assure you.

Ocellus let out a soft sigh. "Ok, that's good."

"Me Yona! Yona is Yak! You become friends with Yona soon!" suddenly shouted the smelly, hairy thing.

The last one to introduce herself was a small, orange lizard. "I'm Smolder, one of the few dragons capable of holding a rational conversation. Try not to be too intimidated, hehe."

Wait, a dragon? But she's so unimposing, despite her claims to the contrary! Still, I can work with this. "Wow, really?" Frieza exclaimed, not needed to fake his excitement. "Say, can you grant wishes?"

At this, Smolder blinked in confusion. "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Djinns, dude. I knew you ponies don't know very much about us, but still, sheesh."

Well it was worth a shot. Bah.

Silverstream giggled. "It would be super great if you could though! You would totally bring our dreams to life, right?"

"Sure I would, Silvy," said Smolder. "I'd just do my own first," she added, winking.

Once the resulting chorus of giggling died down, that thankfully seemed to be it for the pleasantries, as Gallus sat down and began eating. Frieza did the same, listening in on their conversations but only going out of his way to chime in when one of them asked him a direct question.

Eventually, a bell rang, signaling that he and the others get moving. According to the schedule sent to him by Twilight, he had Generosity first period, so that was where he went. Yona and Ocellus, as it turned out, also had Generosity first. This made navigating the unwelcome bustle of the hallways easier, given that he could simply trail behind Yona's bulk and avoid the curious eyes of the other students. To Frieza, no conversation with an ingrate was a good conversation with an ingrate.

He made it with time to spare, copying the others by seating himself in a plush chair. The room had numerous such chairs, ornate in appearance and nothing else. Almost everything was some shade of purple, from the floor to the curtains, save the blue pedestal in the center. Soon, an adult pony entered the room with an exaggerated gait, presumably 'Rarity'. The bell rang again as she took up a position on the pedestal. Judging from her appearance relative to the others he'd seen, Frieza immediately hated Rarity more than the others. Vanity was right up there on the list of traits he abhorred, a bit below stupidity and incompetence.

Freiza leveled a glare at her as soon as her back was turned. I mean, really, she's even making a mockery of my trademark dark-purple-on-white coloration. Those are the colors of doom, not... those impractical curls.

"All right class, welcome, welcome!" she said, all smiles. "Before we begin, I would like to point out that we have a new student with us starting today!" She then pointed directly at him. "Say hello to Freezer, everyone."

Frieza hunched into himself as a round of hellos permeated the air. I'd like this planet a lot better if it had no atmosphere. For multiple reasons.

"Now then," began Rarity, "for today's lesson, we're going to cover an aspect of Generosity that is deceptively simple on the surface, but in reality can be quite challenging for many: the art of gift giving."

"Really?" asked a yellow mare. "How is that complicated?"

As Rarity turned to face her, a smirk crossed her lips. "It isn't. Not if you want merely be acceptable at it. But today, I shall teach you all how to excel at gifting, such that your recipient's eyes will gleam in awe every time." Then, she pivoted again. "I'm sure many of you have heard the phrase 'it's the thought that counts' before, but it could not be more applicable here. The act of putting in an effort, being generous, is the most important part. Just giving your friends bits will never cut it, even if that would be the most universally useful present. You have to figure out what they want, even if they don't yet know so themselves. Does that make sense?"

Everyone nodded, including Frieza. It does produce better results in the end when I fit the punishment to the transgressor. Like when I utterly humiliated Vegeta by letting him live in my service. Ah, those were good times.

"Great!" exclaimed Rarity. "Let's start off with a simpler exercise. And please, don't hesitate to ask questions. First, pretend that you'd like to give a gift to a newborn baby. For a baby shower, if you've heard of those."

Yona's hoof shot up immediately. When Rarity called on her, she said "Yona would give many diapers! Baby Yak want lots of those!"

A small frown formed on Rarity's muzzle. "You're on the right track. Diapers would be useful for a baby, yes, but those are something babies need, not something that the infant or its parents would want. That would just be akin to bits."

Rarity's eyes scanned her students, eventually settling on Ocellus. "Are you raising your hoof, dear?"

Ocellus lowered her leg bashfully. "Yes. I was thinking that lots of love would be good, right?"

"Well, of course it would, but all creatures want care and affection," replied Rarity, giggling a bit. "Remember, we're trying to find a gift that would be good for a baby. Perhaps you have an idea, Freezer?"

Frieza bristled. He hadn't been expecting to be addressed abruptly like that. My first instinct would be a swift, painless death so it could avoid life's many agonies, but I'm fairly sure that's not what she's looking for. Hmm... Oh! "I would get the helpless newborn military-grade body armor, as some small measure of protection for its weak and fragile body," said Frieza.

Rarity stared, along with everybody else, as they processed that statement.

"Well," said Rarity, just to break the awkward silence. "That's... a somewhat unconventional present, but you've got the idea. Most ponies only protect their foal with a crib, so extra security would be a nice gesture."

After that, he was not called on for the rest of the class, which Frieza took slight pleasure in. Rarity presented three more hypothetical scenarios after that one, each a tad more difficult than the last, and the other students had mostly gotten the hang of it by the end. Then Frieza was off to - ugh - Kindness class.

The room in which said class took place looked very different from the last one. The walls were painted in earthy tones to go with a tree motif, and it was on the second floor, allowing for a balcony. Frieza's solitude was interrupted when Gallus approached him to introduce Sandbar, the green maned stallion he mentioned yesterday. Introductions were kept brief, and Frieza couldn't tell if that was because Sandbar was an individual of few words or because Fluttershy was already present.

Observing the way she carried herself and made small talk, Frieza felt betrayed. This teacher seemed to be his favorite sort of person to torment: weak both physically and mentally, with a compassionate worldview that just begged to be shattered into a dozen pieces along with all the bones in her body. Actually having to learn from such a person instead, though... not so much.

Soon, Fluttershy quieting everyone down and got the proceedings moving. Once she had finished making another cringe-inducing call-out of Frieza's presence, she switched gears to the lesson proper. Here's hoping it's not as horrendously bad as I expect, Frieza thought.

"Alright class, today we're going to expand on what we learned last week," said Fluttershy. "By now, you're all quite familiar with how easy a feat sharing kindness is, and how that sometimes, your kindness won't always be returned."

"Heh, yeah, that was fun," chimed in Gallus.

Fluttershy smiled. "I'll be sure to tell Cranky Doodle next time I see him. He did a great job as our designated grump."

Upon hearing this, Frieza very much wished that had been the plan for this lesson. He could have volunteered instead and used the opportunity to vent his frustrations. Can I expect anything less than utter disappointment at this stage?

Fluttershy blinked. "Where was I? Oh, yes, reciprocity. Even if it seems like your care and attention isn't making someone feel better, you should rest assured that kindness almost always has an affect, even if you can't see it."

"However," she continued, "the more difficult barriers to overcome are on your end. There will be plenty of times when it's hard to show you care, especially when you're afraid. Celestia knows I've struggled with that myself in the past."

Yes, I bet you have, thought Frieza as the others all chuckled.

"So, to help you all understand, as well as take the first step in overcoming what might be holding you back, I've brought another friend in to help."

The students watched with trepidation as Fluttershy reached into her bag and pulled out a jar with holes in the lid. Inside the jar, sitting on a tiny cushion, was a spider. Some of Frieza's classmates gasped or shied away when they saw it, including Sandbar. Frieza himself, however, was baffled, by the spider itself as well as their reactions. Are they seriously scared of that thing? On my home planet, their fear would have been at least somewhat justified, but in that case the spider would be thirty feet long and could spit corrosive venom at Mach two. This is just stupid.

Notes of concern flitted across Fluttershy's face as she extracted the spider. "Class, I'd like you to meet Fuzzy Legs. I know he may look a bit scary, but he has a good heart."

"No way! Ewewewew!" exclaimed a unicorn filly in fresh panic. "I am not touching that thing!"

Fuzzy Legs frowned in disappointment.

Fluttershy frowned in dismay. "I haven't even said anything yet." Taking a deep breath, she added "you'll each be taking turns feeding him."

The filly vehemently shook her head. "Nope! Nu-uh!"

Frieza groaned. Gods, will she ever shut up? I bet shoving that spider down her throat would do it. And be most amusing to watch.

Thankfully for her, Frieza didn't have to, as Gallus spoke up. "Teach wouldn't be going this if the spider was going to bite," the griffon said, one eyebrow raised. "Here, I'll show you by going first. Ms. Fluttershy?"

"Sure," Fluttershy replied, walking over to him. She held the spider up on one of her wings as she grabbed a small dropper bottle from her bag. "Just put a couple drops of this on your foot and hold it out. He'll come to you," she explained.

Gallus did as instructed. Fuzzy Legs wasted no time in skittering over to slurp up the liquid. "Oh, it tickles!" said Gallus.

Frieza watched in annoyance as Fluttershy repeated this process around the room. Some of the students required lots of gentle encouragement before they could bring themselves to suck all the fun out of that poor spider's life. Surely it misses the thrill of the hunt.

Before it came to be Frieza's turn, Sandbar took his. He was visibly perplexed by the bottle. "What's in this, anyway?" he asked.

"Oh, it's a special protein shake made from soybeans," answered Fluttershy.

It took a moment for what she had said to set in. "Unbelievable!" exclaimed Frieza, unable to contain his shock.

Fuzzy Legs jumped into Fluttershy's mane. She flinched at his outburst, her attention diverted along with Frieza's classmates. "What's wrong, Freezer?" she asked.

Seeing the misplaced compassion in her eyes made Frieza sick. "What's wrong? What's wrong!? You've been feeding a spider - a predator and carnivore - vegetable smoothies!"

Fluttershy pursed her lips, taking a moment to think. "I suppose that's true. But Fuzzy Legs doesn't mind the shakes. I don't take in any animal friends unless they're willing to play nice with the others, and the change in diet for the carnivores helps all the other critters feel safe."

Frieza snorted, glaring at her. "Some 'element of harmony' you are, then. That's not friendship; it's warping their very natures to suit your own goals. I would never do such a thing." Internally, he added not because I'm morally against it, just because it takes too much effort.

Judging from the expression on her face, it looked as if Fluttershy might actually get upset. Frieza smirked. "Oh, I do apologize, Ms. Fluttershy. It seems I've struck a nerve."

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "Apology excepted. But I have to ask to speak with you after class."

At this, Sandbar deigned to speak up. "Don't hold it against the new guy; I think he's just passionate about his special talent."

Frieza's brow furrowed. "Huh?"

In an abrupt shift in mood, Fluttershy now looked at him inquisitively. Frieza followed the path of her gaze to the side of his lower body. More specifically, the image of a black snake with gleaming eyes and bared fangs, coiled and ready to strike.

"Oh! You're right, Sandbar. I guess I should be the one to apologize, then," said Fluttershy. "Never mind about staying after class. Just remember that what's expected isn't always what's best, ok Freezer?"

"Ok," he replied automatically. Now it was Frieza's turn to get lost in thought. Those symbols are an indicator of talent? This whole time I thought it was personality and ignored them. This changes things. And what luck! It seems I've been pegged as some sort of biologist. The less these naïve creatures suspect, the better.

"You should stop by the sanctuary sometime!" said a beaming Fluttershy.

"That sounds like fun," Frieza said, in what he hoped was a convincing manner. "But you should probably get back to teaching now."

Fluttershy put a hoof to her mouth. "Oopsie."

As the others all giggled, Frieza rolled his eyes. Idiots, the lot of them.

Once he had been forcefully acquainted with the spider, Frieza sat quietly and ruminated until class was over. For the rest of the day, he did his best to play the part of a reserved but largely amicable pony, who, while not eager, was at least receptive to the knowledge of friendship. This held true during lunch, where he seemed to have become something of a new companion to Gallus and those in his silly clique. Sure, he was becoming more and more annoyed with his existence simultaneously, but with determination he powered through despite a couple more slip-ups due to his admitted lack of experience.

None of that mattered once he was free for the evening, though. Because that was when he bid his 'friends' adieu to go study in the school library. He had told them it was to catch up on all the lessons on harmony he had missed since the school year began. However, the truth was that Frieza would be researching the means through which he could regain the ability to callously blast them all to ash with a flick of his wrist. The irony was not lost on him.

When he found the library, Frieza was initially dismayed by what he saw: huge rows and stacks of actual, paper books. Digging through them would be a hassle, but still better than actually approaching some too-cheerful servant wench for assistance. For once, luck was on his side. The books were well catalogued, and he quickly zeroed in on the first subject of interest that would preclude success: Dragons. More specifically, Dragon Balls. I don't trust Smolder one iota. I'll see for myself, thank you.

And so he dove into the pages, aiming for the knowledge he sought. With each sheet flipped, however, Frieza's zeal was slowly replaced by frustration. The only mention of Dragon Balls he could find was an illustrated anatomical summary he very much wished he could forget.

Still, he pressed on, and spent hours scouring for related topics. To his surprise, not only was there zero mention of Namekians anywhere, there wasn't a single piece of nonfiction about any aliens at all. Moreover, Equestria's study of space travel hadn't even advanced beyond the point of theory.

Frieza slid the last book in his hooves to the side dejectedly as he planted his face into the table. Kai damn it. I can't even contact what few loyal soldiers I have left. What am I going to do?

After moping around for a minute, Frieza slapped himself. No! This isn't over, not by a long shot. His expression hardened. This world cannot break me! I'll read every tome in this place cover to cover if I have to! Soon, very soon, I will reclaim my place as a titan among worms once more!

Pathway to Pain

Lord Frieza, restored, gazed down upon the village and laughed.

Ash and smoke billowed high into the air on the wind as fires burned. Ponies' screams echoed all around, some agonizing over their wounds, others over lost loved ones. Crumpled, bloody bodies lay scattered everywhere. And behind him, the massive crater where Twilight's school and castle once stood continued to crackle and hiss as the stone cooled.

The lone survivor among his once-and-former teachers, Twilight Sparkle, hovered in the air next to him, her horn broken and tears streaming down her cheeks, which was wrought with beautiful anguish.

"W-Why? Why would you do this?" she sobbed, clutching at her face with her hooves. "Killing my friends, and all these innocent ponies..."

Frieza reached over and cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to see the wide grin Frieza sported. "Oh, Twilight, that's quite simple really. After all you put me through, I thought it would be a bit of easy vengeance. And I was right."

Her brow contorted in fury. "You're a monster."

"Ohohohohoho!" Frieza laughed. "Thank you for the words of praise. But I'm afraid I've only just begun."

He then started hovering to the ground, slowly enough for the princess to keep up. "Come along now."

The pair of them landed in the center of the ruins that had once been Ponyville. Frieza hadn't even needed to coerce her, and had no idea why Twilight insisted on prolonging her suffering by accompanying him, but he nevertheless appreciated the audience. "Hmm, let's see... aha."

Frieza slowly approached a trembling filly from behind as she clutched futilely at the lifeless body of her father, a hole having been bored though his chest.

"N-No! Please, don't!" exclaimed Twilight.

Her pleading drew the filly's attention to them just in time for Frieza to reach her. When her frantic, dilated eyes met Frieza's, he gestured with a hand, pulling her upwards.

He made a show of scrutinizing the young pony from every angle before turning back to Twilight. "Tell me, do you think this one would make a good lackey? With a bit of training, I could probably get her to do some of my dirty work for me."

Twilight inched as close to him as she dared. "She's just a little girl! A helpless little girl! Let her go, I'm begging you!"

Frieza smiled. "You know what? I agree."

Then he clenched his fist, and the filly exploded.

Princess Twilight collapsed onto her haunches, her mournful wailing music to Frieza's ears. Watching the utterly broken ruler brought out another peal of laughter from him. Ah, now this was well worth the wait.

"Frieza!"

"Hmm?" Frieza turned this way and that, looking for the source of the voice, but found nothing.

Suddenly, his body started to shake. "Freezer! Wake up!"

Frieza's eyes snapped open, his unconscious musings fading rapidly from his mind as he awoke. Gallus was pushing him back and forth with his claws. "Ugh, there you are. Come on, dude, you're gonna be late!"

Frieza blinked the crust out of his eyes and groaned. Ah, dammit. That was such a good dream, too...

After he had managed to power through the day's curriculum, Frieza once more found himself in the library. Finally. Now let's see here. I've already looked into all the logical avenues I considered initially, but perhaps there is some sort of archaic technique available I can use.

A trip to the set of shelves simply labeled as 'Magic' revealed multiple promising volumes on transformation. Unfortunately, apart from one book on Changelings, all of the spells contained within were exclusively usable by unicorns.

Bah! Of course I'd need outside help. Frieza took a marginally calming breath. It's fine, it's fine. I'll just use what's available to pegasi.

There wasn't anything available to pegasi.

Is this real life? Pushing clouds and making stiff breezes? That's literally all I will ever be capable of doing in this body besides fly? Frieza fumed internally. How the hell have the unicorns not instated themselves as master race and taken over the planet by now?

"Oh, hello there!"

Whipping around to face the fresh annoyance, Frieza beheld a cheerful unicorn mare with a purple and teal green mane. Speak of the devil. He tried to compose himself with another deep breath, but it didn't really work due to how unequivocally peeved he was at the moment. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk. I'm Starlight Glimmer, the school guidance councilor," she said. "You must be Freezer. I've been hearing all about you from my friends."

Frieza's brow rose. "Oh? And what have you heard?"

Starlight stepped closer, taking the seat next to his. She seemed to be scrutinizing him. "That you've had a rough life, and that your views on friendship are a bit... unconventional. But from what I can see, you seem to be working harder than most to change for the better," she said, smiling.

Sure, let's go with that. "So, are you here to help me?" Frieza asked. Please say no, please say no, please say no.

"Not unless you want me to, no pressure," Starlight replied, waving her hooves. "But if anything about your life is bothering you, anything at all, feel free to confide your troubles to ol' Starlight, hehe."

Frieza was about to bid her farewell, but stopped, shutting his mouth. Maybe this is a good opportunity. Starlight here might know something I don't. I'll have to be very careful not to reveal too much, though. No one can discern my true nature until I allow it.

"Well?" asked Starlight. "I'm listening."

Frieza met her eyes. "How experienced are you with... change?"

Starlight immediately snorted. "Probably more than anypony else in Equestria. If you want my opinion, I think you're off to a better start than I was. Attending this school alone is a great first step to becoming a happier pony."

"No, not in the self-improvement sense," Frieza elaborated. "In the literal, physical sense. You see, lately, I've been feeling that, well... my body is wrong, in a way I can't describe. Is there I way I can fix it?"

At this, she stared. "Oh. Oh. Celestia, umm..." Starlight trailed off into a barely audible mutter. "How to tell someone that they might be transgender...?"

Frieza's jaw dropped. "What, no! Where did you get that idea?"

Starlight flinched, then blushed. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes," said Frieza, deadpan.

"Oh, whew," she said. "In that case, what were you talking about?"

Frieza turned away. "Never mind. Just let me get back to my reading, please. I'll find what I'm looking for in here eventually."

"You can't find the right book?" Starlight asked. "Did you check Twilight's lecture hall? She keeps some reference material in there."

Frieza blinked. "No, I did not. I suppose I'll go there now. Thank you." She wasn't completely useless after all.

"Glad I could help!" Starlight exclaimed.

Having not had class with the quite busy princess yet, this was the first time Frieza set hoof inside Twilight's classroom. It was laid out like a briefing room, with tiers of seating arranged in a semicircle above a podium and chalkboard. On either side of the chalkboard were more bookshelves, as Starlight had promised. He was the only one inside at the moment.

For a little while, he nonchalantly walked along and browsed. Dictionaries, encyclopedias, blah, blah, blah. Nothing that actually matters. Wait a minute, what have we here?

A wicked smile bloomed upon his face. Oh, this is just too perfect. How confident must these ponies be to simply present such treasures on a silver platter?

The section across from him was labeled 'What Not To Do: For Reference Use Only'.

With each spine he read, Frieza grew more and more excited: War Crimes, A Global History. The Beginner's Guide to Necromancy, Third Edition. An Introduction to Corporate Law. Blackheart's Eldritch Artifact Compendium. He squeed in glee like a schoolchild. Which, at the moment, he was. But he didn't care. Which one do I read first? Aha!

Pulling out How to Obtain Ultimate Power, For Dummies, Frieza cackled to himself, flipping it open. While he was no dummy, Frieza correctly assumed that it would be easily digested. There's even an index for specific methods and desires! Immortality, no. An army of disposable minions, no, I already have one of those. Nothing involving unicorn magic, lucky bastards. Wishes, there it is!

Quickly turning to the appropriate page and studying the chapter's contents yielded a plethora of information. As it turned out, there were numerous other methods of getting a wish granted in Equestria. Once he threw out the options that resulted in imperfect or false wishes, such as the Heart's Desire plant, Frieza was left with two: a Djinn, which were described as being nearly impossible to find and equally hard to curry favor from, or a Demon.

Summoning a demon was apparently a simple process, requiring only a magic circle drawn from some basic reagents. Moreover, any wish within the demon's power to grant came with its own contract, so there was no chance of any monkey paw-esque surprises. Sure, he'd have to fork over his soul, and probably suffer eternal damnation as a result, but Frieza knew that was going to happen anyway, and couldn't be worse than staying a pony forever, so was therefore no big loss.

Frieza could hardly wait. If everything went according to plan, then he would be able to make his dream from that morning into reality.

Sneaking out of the dorms under cover of darkness, Frieza crept into Ponyville. Some minor burgling yielded everything he needed to perform the summoning, save an isolated location. Eventually, he stumbled upon an old clocktower, which perfectly suited his needs. The room at the base had no windows, the complete darkness within broken only when Frieza lit some candles.

The flickering flames and muffled ticking from above punctuated Frieza's motions as he methodically formed a pentagram from salt on the wooden floor. His body shook with anticipation as he worked. Soon, this nightmarish ordeal will be over!

Once Frieza's task was complete, the pattern began to glow with an eerie light. Smoke billowed forth, coalescing into a looming shape. The demon that emerged was a deep, sickly green, his lithe body crisscrossed with self-inflicted scars.

"I am He Who Unravels Mind and Body," the demon proclaimed, his wings spread menacingly. "State your purpose now, mortal!"

Most ponies would have been paralyzed with fear at such a display. Frieza, however, was overjoyed. "I would like to make a deal. My everlasting soul in exchange for the return of my original body. I was not always a pony, you see."

"It seems you're familiar with how we operate. Very well," he said, snapping his claws.

A roll of parchment and a sharpened quill materialized in the air with a flash. As they floated towards a smiling Frieza, the demon leveled his gaze at him. Finally! Sweet revenge, here I come!

However, before the implements could reach Frieza, the demon started screaming out of nowhere. He backpedaled into the corner of the room, eyes wide with terror and batlike wings wrapped around his body as his wailing continued.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" asked Frieza. The one time I don't want somebody to flee from me screaming, this happens.

He Who Unravels Mind and Body squeaked in terror like a little girl. "I-I had a vision. I saw what you are, what you do if this deal goes through. You kill everyone," he said, shaking. "You're like a mad avatar of pain and misery, an evil far beyond all demonkind."

"Why, I'm flattered, really," said Frieza, truthfully. "So what's the problem, then?"

"T-There isn't one, not anymore!" he exclaimed. "The deal's off!"

Frieza's jaw dropped. "What? No! You can't do this to me! Take my soul, please!"

Desperate to stop this opportunity from slipping away, Frieza ran over to where the scroll hovered, repeatedly jumping as high as he could to try and reach it with flailing hooves, but to no avail. Frieza seethed, steam practically boiling from his ears. Argh, why didn't I teach myself to fly!?

With one last high pitched yelp, the demon vanished, taking Frieza's contract with him.

As the silence of the night returned, Frieza's breathing grew erratic, his blood boiling with rage. It was his turn to scream now, his fury echoing throughout the tower as he bashed his hooves against the ground with all the strength he could muster. When he saw that wasn't even enough to splinter the floorboards, Frieza screamed even louder.

Only when his body ran out of stamina did he stop, wallowing in his latest failure. Frieza stared blankly into space as he slumped over in exhaustion. Oh, screw this.

Life is Forfeit

Frieza slammed the door open and stormed into Starlight's office, his fury and indignation plainly visible. Starlight was still in the process of preparing for the day ahead when his arrival caused her to jump in surprise.

She whirled to face him. "Freezer! You scared me a bit there. What are you doing here so early?" During a brief pause, she noticed his rage-filled expression. Now she stood at full alertness. "Ok, never mind. Better question: what happened to you since yesterday?"

"That is not of your concern," said Freiza. "Now then—"

"Of course I'm concerned!" interrupted Starlight. "You're clearly very upset and in need of my hopefully-sufficient guidance! And you just came in here. Why else would you—"

It was Frieza's turn to interject. "Oh, spare me the pointless prattle, maggot; your superior is speaking." He glared up at her in contempt. "Haven't I suffered enough?"

Starlight's jaw dropped and she gasped, stunned. Once she fully registered what had been said, her brow lowered. "Excuse me? Your superior? In case you haven't noticed, you're a student, and barely a teenager by the looks of things. Good ponies show respect to their elders."

Frieza scoffed at that. "Well, if you had listened to me and kept your useless, ugly face shut, you would know by now that I am actually neither of those things!"

"Ok, rude. Also, what?" Starlight asked. "Freezer, explain."

Frieza groaned loudly at her utter lack of intelligence. "It's what I've been trying to tell you!" he exclaimed, gesturing to himself. "I've been a pony for less that a week, and before that I was Lord Frieza, the mightiest scourge the universe had ever seen! Not Freezer, Frieza!"

Starlight stared, uncomprehending.

Frieza's eye twitched. Then, he screamed, stepping forward until he was inches from her. His blood boiled. "Oh, I see, you don't believe me. I guess I'll have to explain myself like you wanted!" he said, the volume of his voice nearing a shout as he continued. "I have committed atrocities the likes of which your disgusting society has never seen! On a regular basis, I enslave, torture, obliterate, murder en masse, and deeply enjoy every second of it! With nothing but my own power, I committed xenocide by blowing up a whole planet. My favorite hobby is turning children into orphans! I am a tyrant of the highest order, to whom even the galaxy's most fearsome warriors will cower before and bow!"

When he saw that Starlight had gone pale, Frieza found a bit of malicious glee. "So, no, I am not good, and I am not a pony," he added, his volume barely above a whisper.

"That's... unsettling," Starlight managed. She stared at Frieza like he had just escaped from an insane asylum and slowly backed away. Reaching into a glass cabinet, she pulled out a bottle and downed its contents in one gulp, then exhaled before continuing. "Even if I believed you, why tell me all this?"

Frieza thought back to the events of the past few days and sighed dejectedly. "Because I can't deal with this anymore!" he proclaimed, gesturing all around before dropping to his knees. "I tried so damn hard to get through this, I really did. To keep up hope that, somehow, I could return to my former glory and then rip you all apart into little, terrified pieces. But all of my avenues for salvation have crumbled, and now I've simply given up. It's not worth it, especially when I'm stuck in this school. Oh Kai, this school. It's all my worst nightmares come to life! Being forced to act friendly to everyone. Having a roommate, let alone one as obnoxious as Gallus! Being forced to learn kindness and honesty and EEEAAAHHH!"

Starlight looked on in dismay as Frieza screamed again. "Uh..."

"I'm getting there. Patience, worm," said Frieza once he had calmed back down, relatively speaking. That rant had been building for a while. I very much needed to vent. "Now then, what I need from you, Starlight, is simple. I want you to banish me to Tartarus."

Now Starlight stared at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Don't act so surprised," said Frieza groaning. "As far as schemes go, this one's not nefarious at all. It's win-win. I get to spend the rest of eternity sitting in a nice, dark cave free from this world's many annoyances and you get to keep the horrible space criminal locked up in a secure location. I've heard that you're fairly liberal with your 'magic', hence why I've come to you with this task."

Starlight, after stammering incoherent gibberish for a few seconds, grabbed a second, much larger bottle and started drinking. Frieza tried to continue speaking, but Starlight held up a hoof to silence him until she was done.

After a quick eye roll, Frieza finished his piece. "Please do not disappoint me, Starlight. That is, unless you want to find out what lines I'll cross to convince you. Spoilers: all of them."

Taking a deep breath, Starlight suddenly grabbed Frieza with her magic and levitated him into the air. "Ok yeah you're crazy. I'm just gonna take you to Twilight now. This sort of nonsense is totally her jam."

"What? No! Put me down!" Frieza exclaimed, trying and failing to flail out of her grasp as Starlight dragged him away.

"... And now here we are," said Starlight, her explanation of recent events concluded.

Twilight blinked at Starlight, then at Frieza, who seemed to be trying to melt her with his glare, then back at Starlight. Her wings ruffled by her sides. "That... is certainly something."

"So what do we do?" Starlight asked.

"Honestly, I'm not sure either, Starlight," Twilight admitted as she levelled a critical gaze at Frieza. "We'd have to get Applejack to see if he's telling the truth, first. And even then..."

"No need for that, Twi."

Frieza, Twilight, and Starlight all turned to face the source of the new voice: Pinkie Pie. Her characterizing cheerfulness was not on display, replaced by nervousness and a cold sweat. Only her head was visible from around the corner.

"Pinkie? What are you doing here?" asked Twilight.

"Yeah, we're in the middle of some grade-A horseapples at the moment," added Starlight.

At this, Pinkie chuckled mirthlessly. "Hey, same here! Funny story... my class was kinda-sorta interrupted when a demon poofed in out of nowhere."

"What!?" exclaimed Twilight.

Pinkie nodded. "Once my students finished cowering in the corner, I noticed that he was acting super scared too. So I asked him what was wrong, and apparently this demon fellow came to warn me. Because, get this, we're distantly related! I had no idea!"

"WHAT!?" exclaimed Twilight.

"Anyway, that's not the important part. The important part is that the thing he came to warn me about... was him," Pinkie said, sliding carefully into the room and pointing a hoof at Frieza.

Finally, my reputation has caught up with me, he thought.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the other two mares turned to face Frieza.

"So, like, he's actually a tyrant from outer space stuck in a pony body?" asked Starlight.

Pinkie reluctantly nodded. "A really, really mean one."

Frieza smirked. "I'd say that's a vast understatement."

Twilight squeaked, adrenaline visibly kicking in. Starlight, meanwhile, was too drunk for her self-preservation instincts to function properly.

Seeing her friend in distress, and that Frieza hadn't done anything threatening yet, Pinkie trotted over to Twilight in an effort to calm her down with her presence. "So. What's the plan? You usually have one of those."

Snorting, Frieza answered for her. "The plan was to get me banished to Tartarus."

"That's a good plan," agreed Pinkie. "Let's do that, Twilight."

"But that's what he wants," said Starlight. "When was the last time we gave a villain exactly what they wanted? Never, that's when, because we punish villains. Or redeem them, I guess. Is that an option?"

"Oh, no, that's not happening," stated Frieza. "I assure you, I am blackhearted to the core. One hundred percent evil. I would literally rather die a third time than continue attending this school."

"See, punishment," said Starlight, sagely.

"He's evil, though!" insisted Pinkie. "If we try to force him to change, he might hurt someone!"

"That is true; I certainly would," confirmed Frieza. "Ideally multiple someones."

"Exactly! Just banish him," said Pinkie, insistent.

Twilight, caught in the middle, furrowed her brow in thought as she weighed the two options. Frieza knew that she knew the others would give her final say.

He held his breath as she started to pace, hooves clicking on the floor. Come on, come on...

For a minute, Frieza was afraid they had reached an impasse. But finally, after it seemed like an eon had elapsed, Twilight stopped, her expression resolute. "Alright. Pinkie, Frieza, you win. Tartarus it is."

Yes! Free at last! Not as good as vengeance would have been, but still! "A wise choice. Simply work your magic, and I'll be out of your hair forever," Frieza said. And you'll be out of mine. Good riddance.

Twilight sighed. "Don't mistake my decision for compassion, 'Lord' Frieza. I put compassion over reason when I enrolled you at my school in the first place, but not again. Believe me, I am loathe to comply with your request. This is simply a princess electing to put the certain safety of those under her care above justice in this particular instance. Do you understand?"

Frieza drank in the look on her face, meeting her imperious gaze with a sly one. "Completely, Ms. Sparkle."

"Well, alrighty then," said Starlight. "I'm out, peace." She then unceremoniously walked out, waving farewell.

After Starlight left, Twilight began charging power, her horn alight. "Any parting words, Frieza?"

As a matter of fact, he did. "Of course. Tell everyone I've always hated them."

"I most certainly will not," said Pinkie. She giggled at his audacity.

Twilight, meanwhile, rolled her eyes. "Sure."

Then, she cast her spell, opening a one-way planar portal straight to Tartarus, the hellish shadows bleeding from its edges. She watched nonplussed as Frieza spiraled backwards into the rift. "Enjoy, I guess?"

"Well, it sure sounds like you had fun while it lasted," said Frieza. His voice easily carried through the still air to the occupant of the adjacent enchanted cell.

The emaciated centaur within its bars let out a dry chuckle in reply.

"Seriously, the ability to suck out and absorb all the energy from your victims sounds rather exhilarating," Frieza added.

"Oh, it is," Tirek confirmed. "But even then, at my peak, I couldn't perform any feats of destruction close to what you've described."

Frieza waved a hoof. "Stop, you're making me blush."

At this, Tirek smirked. "Yeah right. We're a couple of ruthless fiends, you and I, despite appearances. We have no shame."

"Ok, you got me," replied Frieza with a wink before smiling himself.

Tirek's wrinkled face carried layers of cruelty. "Although, if you did, I'd think you'd be embarrassed that it only took one goodie-two-shoes to put you down as opposed to six."

Frieza shook his head. "Even after hearing your story, I still doubt a handful of ponies could have taken down a Saiyan, those specific ones especially. I honestly had no idea my one-time schoolmarms had in in them."

Tirek snorted. "You and me both. At least this Son Goku of yours was a thoroughbred combatant."

"Indeed, our battles were the stuff of legends. Yours was probably over far more quickly than five minutes," Frieza quipped.

The centaur's sunken eyes narrowed. "Jackass."

"Cretin."

They both glared angrily at eachother until their composure broke and the pair of them burst into laughter.

Afterwards, Frieza found himself sitting on the cold, rough stone a little bit straighter. See, this is the sort of company I've been missing. Maybe friendship isn't quite so idiotic after all.

- THE END -

1 of 2

Author's Note

Yes, you read that correctly. I'm glad to say that this tale isn't quite over yet. There will be an alternate ending, one that dramatically alters the tone of the story. Essentially, it'll be less like MLP and more like DBZ. So if you like action, stick around. I'm sure you'll like it. :twilightsmile:

Alternate Ending: Absolution

Author's Note

FYI, the underlined bits here are actually links this time. They lead to appropriate music. Be sure to crack open new tabs and take a listen, it adds to the experience.

Alternate Ending: Absolution

Twilight Sparkle weighed her options, unable to stand still as he mind raced. Pros and cons lit up in her synapses like hearth's warming lights as the pondered exactly what the best course of action to take with Frieza was. Which was more important, her ideals or her responsibility? My duty to Equestria is obviously important, but I wouldn't be in this position in the first place if it weren't for friendship. Oh, what do I do?

It was then that she remembered the recent return of the Pillars, and the mistake she had nearly made regarding Stygian. She wouldn't make that mistake again, especially with Starlight here to remind her. If there was a chance Frieza could change for the better, even the slimmest one, Twilight knew she had to take that chance.

When she stopped moving, the other three ponies, two friends and one friend-to-be, stood with baited breath.

"I've decided. Frieza, I'm afraid I have to decline your proposition," Twilight declared. "You will remain here, under close supervision. You have done many abhorrent things until now, but that's because you didn't know there was another path. My friends and I can help you see that there is a better way; a means to put the past behind you and a road to happiness and redemption," she added, smiling as she remembered.

Starlight clapped her hooves, sharing Twilight's smile. "If I can change, then so can you, Frieza."

Twilight nodded, recalling what she, Princess Luna, and Discord had been like when she first met each.

Frieza, however, did not seem to be taking the news well. He was shaking on his hooves, the look his eyes alternating rapidly between utter disbelief and utter contempt.

Pinkie took a step back, parts of her body also shaking, except randomly and uncontrollably wild. "Not that I don't respect your decision, Twi, but I have a bad feeling about this."

Oh. That's a tad concerning. Sure, maybe Frieza will be a bit harder to reach than the others were, but now we have experience, Twilight thought. "It'll be fine, Pinkie," she reassured. "I'll have guards called in from Canterlot and everything."

"Actually, uh..." said Starlight. "Maybe you spoke too soon." Her hoof tentatively rose to point at Frieza.

When Twilight looked to the former alien again, her heart skipped a beat. Frieza's eyes... she had never seen such unadulterated loathing on a pony's face before. The air around him was growing darker, as if the very light was being drained from the space nearby. Her magical senses now registered a hum of power, one that rapidly built in magnitude.

Twilight's jaw dropped. A chill ran down her spine - and the rest of her body - as the room suddenly reduced in temperature from comfortable to frigid. The temperature difference created a rush of wind, sending small dust particles swirling about her office and ruffling her mane. Frieza's body became completely encased in a sphere of total blackness, which slowly expanded as it rose into the air.

"What's happening!?" exclaimed a shivering Starlight, frantically turning from the orb to Twilight.

Maintaining her composure, Twilight quickly scanned the still-rising magic which had converged upon Frieza. However, this particular darkness was nothing she immediately recognized, which meant she couldn't safely dispel it. "I don't know! Definitely nothing good!"

She could only stare, huddled next to Pinkie and Starlight, as the shadows continued to grow in size, undulating from the scope of the malicious forces contained within. Eventually, the sphere peeled apart, revealing not a white pegasus colt, but a Frieza completely transformed.

He stepped forward, his three-toed foot producing a ring of white frost on the carpet. Frieza now stood on two, both colored a deep blue along with the rest of his body. Jet black armor, unornamented yet imposing, covered his shins, torso, shoulders, and forearms. The top of his head gleamed with a purple sheen, and twin horns jutted to the side like icicles just above his ears. Thin bands of sparkling ice encircled his long, prehensile tail and trailed down below his condescending, red-pupiled eyes.

Frieza clenched his fist, his tail flitting to the side in casual arrogance. And then, he spoke, his tone as cold and ruthless as a blizzard in the dead of night. "It seems I have regained the barest fraction of my power. More than enough to extinguish all life on this planet."

The blood drained from Twilight's face. Pinkie gasped.

Starlight sheepishly cringed away from Twilight. "Uh... my bad?"

There are bigger things to worry about than fault, now, thought Twilight, mind racing as she kept her focus squarely on the newest threat imperiling Equestria. Now that she had the full picture, she knew exactly what had happened, she just could believe it. Frieza's hatred was so great that it reached critical mass, acting as a nexus and drawing in vast quantities of ambient negative energy. Just like with Nightmare Moon.

While Frieza was still distracted by the process of self-examination, Twilight steeled her nerves, wings spread and prepared for what was to come. "Girls, I need you to listen carefully. Starlight, evacuate the school. And the whole town, if you can. Teleport everypony someplace safe," she ordered.

Starlight blinked, needing a moment for the words to register. Once they did, her expression mirrored Twilight's. "On it," she said, before vanishing in a flash of teal light.

"Pinkie," Twilight continued, "get the others. We're going to need the Elements to stop Nightmare Frieza. I'll hold him off."

Pinkie gasped again, even more dramatically this time. "Nightmare Frieza? Ponyfeathers, I'll be back in a jiffy." Then she too made a quick exit, by jumping into a nearby flowerpot.

Frieza scoffed at their actions. "You only delay the inevitable."

Twilight stood firm. Knowing that, at this point, words would not reach him, she said nothing. Instead, she charged up her horn at full power, her usual magenta glow flaring to white from the full power of an alicorn. As friendship is magic, hatred is anti-magic. I wish this weren't the case, but besides the Elements, the only thing that will work against Frieza now is brute force. I hope Starlight works fast.

Frieza looked at her as a pony might an ant, totally ambivalent to Twilight's display. He shook his head, then narrowed his eyes. “You know, that name you gave this form is... wrong. I am not a nightmare. What stands before you now is the core of Frieza, unburdened by the trivialities of sadism, wit, flamboyance, and anger. The distilled, absolute truth of my being, and an embodiment of the cold, unfeeling void that is the universe. Yes, for what little time you will remain alive, that is what you shall call me: Absolute Frieza.”

Twilight balked. Ok, now I'm a bit worried.

Then, Frieza brought his own power to bear. A flaming indigo aura burst to life around his whole body. "But enough talk. Have at you!"

With a burst of speed that would have made a wonderbolt jealous, and far faster than Twilight expected, Frieza lunged. She didn't even have time to flinch in surprise before he unleashed a furious snap kick to the underside of her chin, sending her crashing through the ceiling. Twilight cried out in pain, her body barely feeling it as she careened head-over hooves through the remaining floors of the building and into the open air, so magnified was the throbbing in her jaw. Sweet Celestia, that blow probably would have shattered an ordinary pony's skull.

Snarling, adrenaline coursing through her veins, Twilight righted herself with her wings, angling to face the gaping hole from which she had emerged. She rapidly adapted to the new information regarding Frieza's speed. So, the instant his dark form burst though in pursuit, Twilight was ready. She teleported to a spot on the roof behind him and fired a beam of magic the width of her head at his back.

It bounced right off, deflected into the sky. She might as well have thrown a ball of wet tissue paper. Oh, buck me.

Frieza whirled in midair, aiming a single pointed finger at Twilight. A pitch black beam of his own fired out from it, narrow and lightning fast. Twilight juked out of the way with a flap of her wings, sure in that instant that his attack would miss underneath her body.

She did not expect the beam to curve, juking to hit her left hind leg. When it struck, the limb instantly went numb from a chill so intense it burned, her leg caked with ice. Twilight screamed, teleporting away again. Reappearing a safe distance away, Twilight endured the pain, tears escaping from her eyes as she abandoned all pretense of strategy and allowed instinct to take over. It was life or death.

Frieza's unfeeling expression remained the same as he escalated his attack, now launching beams of cold shadow from all ten of his fingers at once. As they arced through the space between him and Twilight, she put up a forcefield around her body, as Shining Armor had taught her, and then added a wall of blistering flames on top of that.

Her defenses held, barely, the beams making it most of the way through to crack Twilight's barrier. With another pulse from her horn, she repaired the shield, but let the surrounding inferno die off so she could see what the self-titled Absolute Frieza would do to try and snuff her out next. Her expectations were moot, however, as he now casually floated in place with his arms crossed.

"Hmm. Weak, but durable," he said, not even bothering to conceal his musings. "This is inefficient."

As Twilight hovered in place, panting with exertion, Frieza simply flew off, straight up. He was little more than a black speck in Twilight's vision by the time he stopped. Before she could begin to ponder what her latest adversary was doing, a voice she recognized cried out. "Twilight!"

Whirling, Twilight breathed a sigh of relief when she met the eyes of Rainbow Dash, her most loyal friend racing to her side. "Holy hay, it looks like you've been through Tartarus," she said, without a trace of her usual confidence. Twilight could have used some of that.

"Looks like we got here just in time," she added, gesturing below. There stood Pinkie, with Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack close behind.

You have no idea how right you are, Rainbow. Twilight was practically about out to fall out of the sky from the agony of her wounds. Instead, she managed a controlled decent, landing on the grass by her friends. As weight was placed on her half-frozen leg, she winced.

Fluttershy placed a hoof over her muzzle when she saw the state Twilight was in, partially hiding her fearful expression. "Goodness! How dare he!"

"I concur," said Rarity, aching at the sight of Twilight's ragged form. "Pinkie already briefed us. I knew Freezer was a bit unusual, but to think he was capable of this..."

"He'll do worse if we fail," Twilight said, clenching her eyes shut and shaking uncomfortable visions out of her mind. "I wish I didn't have to ask this of you, but you have to hold him back while I get the Elements; I can't keep Frieza occupied from the Everfree."

Suddenly, Applejack blanched. "Uh, I'm not so sure we can, either..." Her voice trailed off as she raised a shaky hoof. At the same time, a grey blanket of shadow fell across them, the sunlight abruptly blocked.

Twilight's fears were confirmed when she and the others reluctantly followed Applejack's upwards stare. The sight she beheld threatened to snuff out the last embers of hope in her breast.

The sun had been eclipsed. Not by the moon, but by Frieza. He held a single finger aloft, and above it had formed an absolutely massive iceberg. It was already the size of a mountain, and it was still growing before her eyes as swirls of snow converged, deepening the encroaching darkness.

Twilight could hear faint screams coming from outside Ponyville as its citizens took notice. She nearly joined them, but instead settled for hyperventilating. If he throws that thing with any significant force, it'll smash into the town like a comet. And I know how well that turned out for the dinosaurs.

"Pffft, that's the best he's got?" squeaked Rainbow as beads of sweat rolled down her cheeks. "It's just a bit of hail. I, like, break up hailstorms all winter, heheheh."

Applejack clutched her hat to her chest. Pinkie's hair deflated. Rarity looked like she was about to faint. Fluttershy burst into tears. Twilight fell to her knees, shallow reassurances dying before they crossed her lips as she desperately wracked her brain for something, anything that could get them safely out of this.

And then, there was light.

"Look!" Pinkie exclaimed.

With nothing better to do, Twilight did. Her castle was glowing. Namely, the starburst at the top, which steadily grew in brightness to a level that was almost blinding. Then, it burst forth, directly towards her.

Twilight's malaise was instantly cut away by a familiar warmth. As the light suffused her body, her strength returned, along with her resolve. She could feel the magic of friendship filling her to bursting as she was carried into the air, the tremendous excess coating her hooves, wings, and mane.

When she saw that the same thing was happening to her friends, their sad frowns replaced with eager grins, Twilight barked out out a laugh in recognition. "It's the Rainbow Power! Harmony is with us!"

However, there was no time to gawk at extra hues or extra cutie marks, for Frieza chose that moment to unleash Armageddon with a flick of his wrist.

"Let's go!" Twilight exclaimed.

She could almost feel their collective response before she heard it. "Right!"

As one, they burst into the heavens, a literal circle of friendship (well, hexagon, but close enough). As the encroaching mass of ice descended, displacing a cone of air, they rose to meet it like a shooting star, trailing brilliant light. Coiling her legs along with her sisters in arms, Twilight Sparkle readied to strike.

With a triumphant cry, six supercharged hooves collided with the ice at once, shattering it into a million harmless pieces. Charging through the resulting cloud of mist, they continued their ascent, quickly reaching the same height as Frieza, who looked even more absolute than before. Absolutely shocked, that is, as he stared at their new appearance with wide eyes.

"Not this again," he said, fists clenched. "You were to die, crumbling as do all."

"Well, too bad, cuz we don't break that easily!" proclaimed Dash.

"Darn tootin'!" affirmed Applejack.

"I should have partied you out of commission when I had the chance!" added Pinkie.

"We have one now," said Rarity, firmly. "Light him up, ladies!"

Conviction unwavering, Twilight opened her heart completely, her five fellows doing the same. She could feel the energy born of their companionship with eachother and all of Equestria building upon itself as it bounced between them, their collective strength surging higher with every pass as it begged to be unleashed against their foe—

Until Frieza rushed forward to punch Fluttershy in the face.

She went flying downwards like a meteor, and made a lengthy impact crater like one too, a massive gash cutting across the field.

The corona of magic around their bodies vanished. "Fluttershy!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Lesson learned: no charging," he said matter-of-factly, before spinning to whip his tail at Pinkie. She too was sent hurtling through the air.

"No assaulting my friends!" Twilight retorted, grabbing him in her telekinetic field and hurling him straight down before he knew what hit him, making another dust-strewn explosion on impact. Then, she teleported to where Fluttershy had crashed.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Although, Twilight almost didn't need to. She still carried the Rainbow Power, and was already standing up, barely bruised.

"I'm okay, somehow," Fluttershy replied, shaking out her mane.

Still, Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. Hovering under their own willpower, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow arrived by her side a moment later, followed by Pinkie, who was also barely hurt.

"Looks like we're gonna have to do this the old fashioned way," said Applejack, scraping her hoof against the dirt like a bull before a charge. "I like the old fashioned way."

Rarity nodded, equally riled. "Retro chic it is."

In unspoken agreement, Twilight turned with the others to face Frieza.

The debris settling around him was instantly cleared by a resounding shockwave. Elbows at his sides and knees bent, Frieza let out a piercing battle cry. Every blade of grass within a hundred-foot radius was flashfrozen in an instant as his hate-fueled aura expanded in size and intensity before popping out of sight.

Once more, Twilight readied her magic, horn ablaze. Alright, Absolute Frieza. I have ponies willing to watch my back. Try as you might, you'll lose, and that's why.So, by all means, attack.

When Frieza burst into motion, straight for them, Rainbow Dash reacted first. She went from zero to rainboom in an instant and met Frieza's fist with her own, colliding with the sound of a thunderclap. The pair immediately began trading lightning-fast blows, their punches, kicks, parries, and dodges almost too fast for the eye to see. In an effort to break through, their pace rapidly accelerated even further, such that it seemed both of them had multiple extra limbs.

"What's the matter?" taunted Dash. "Can't hit a girl?" Though, from what Twilight could tell, neither could get a solid hit in.

"You will tire," Frieza replied, not giving an inch as he pressed his assault. "And then you will be crushed, for that is the fate of all who oppose me."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Sure I will. Hiyaaaah!" Using her wings as an assist, she rolled into a forward flip, clearing a kick from Frieza and bringing her heel down onto his head. Or rather, that's what would have happened had Frieza not raised both his arms to block. "AJ!"

"Got it!" Thanks to her enhanced speed, Applejack was already next to Dash. Eyes narrowed, she tensed, unleashing a buck to end all bucks into Frieza's side while his focus was on the pegasus. He went sailing upwards at a forty-five degree angle, letting out a howl of frustration as he struggled to stabilize.

"Nice job!" Now that she had a clear shot, Twilight took it, cutting loose with a hypercharged ray of alicorn magic the width of a train car. It roared into the heavens. But Frieza was prepared, and with a sweep of his hand he produced a great wave of ink-black hatred to intercept, triggering a cacophonous explosion as the attacks cancelled out.

Weather out of bravery or recklessness, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash flew off in pursuit, the latter arriving first. But Frieza was prepared this time, and slipped his tail through Rainbow's guard, grabbing her by the neck. He dove past Applejack with a grimace, the earth pony unable to react in time.

"How dare you!" Twilight sprung after him, trying to break Frieza's grip with her magic, but it was too tight. He slammed Rainbow into the side of the mounted the school rested against, sending up more stones and collapsing part of the building.

Rarity, who had raced along with Twilight, cracked her neck and creased her brow. "Could I trouble you for an instrument, darling?" she asked.

Knowing her well, Twilight smirked, and a quick conjuration spell summoned exactly what Rarity wanted: a sewing needle the size of her whole body, forged from adamantine alloy.

Returning the smirk, Rarity grabbed the needle with her horn and screeched a battle cry of her own, making for Frieza. "Guess where I'm gonna thread this!"

As the dust cleared from around Frieza and Dash, Twilight could see that Frieza still had her pinned, now with one of his hands as he readied an orb of darkness in the other for a finishing blow.

But before she could react, one of her friends beat her to it. With a shout of "Surprise!", Pinkie Pie burst from behind a tree, firing a stretchy-armed jab into Frieza's cheek. This knocked him off balance enough that the sphere of wicked cold went wide, freezing Rainbow's shoulder instead of her heart. That was when Rarity appeared on the scene, forcing Frieza to jump back off of Dash with a precise thrust of her needle rapier.

They took to the air as Rarity pressed her assault, rapidly stabbing at Frieza like the world's most lethal sewing machine. Frieza was on the metaphorical backfoot, managing to dodge or redirect almost every one of Rarity's attacks, his head whipping from side to side as he flew backwards. A single riposte nicked his cheek, drawing a thin trickle of blood. Snarling, Frieza fired more homing beams at Rarity from his fingers to force her away. Only a projected shield from Twilight saved her, with nanoseconds to spare.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy flew over to help up the injured Rainbow Dash. No objections here. She's certainly more suited for than joining in on the fight if I'm being honest. Kind words and a reproachful stare aren't going to be very useful at this point.

Before Frieza could target Rarity again, Pinkie slammed into him shoulder first at full speed, knocking the both of them through the air. "How'd ya like that present?"

Frieza did not reply. Instead he took a deep breath and began jabbing at the air with his palms, launching a rapid-fire barrage of icy hatred blasts. "Haaaatatatatata!"

"Alright, more it is!" Pinkie exclaimed, reaching into her expanded mane for a pair of strawberry cupcakes, which she then hurled with earnest.

The sky was filled with death and pastries as they continued to fling their projectiles at eachother, Pinkie and Frieza weaving and circling through the air to avoid the shots. Eventually, Frieza stopped, switching tactics. Raising both his hands, he formed twin disks of ice, razor sharp and thrumming with infused power.

But before he could hurl them, Pinkie giggled. "Where are you looking?"

Twilight hadn't even noticed anything until she pointed out, but yes, the cupcakes Pinkie had thrown were still airborne, somehow hovering perfectly still in a rough sphere around Frieza. What?

Pinkie clapped her hooves. "Partycave Grenade!"

All at once, the cupcakes resumed moving: except now directly inward. Unable to dodge, Frieza braced himself before being enveloped in a humungous, sizzling fireball. Twilight stared. Nope, still not going to question it.

"Woo!" said Pinkie. Then, she starting a do a little victory jig, hopping backwards and shaking her rump. "Go Pinkie, ooh ooh, go Pinkie— AAAHH!"

The scream was in regards to one of the two ice disks to come flying out of the cloud of smoke, which nearly cut her in half before she jerked herself out of the way like a marionette. The other was aimed at Twilight, who deftly teleported out of the way without taking her eyes off of Frieza's position in case he tried something.

Soon, the last embers of the fireball had dissipated, revealing a lightly singed Absolute Frieza. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack were all flying over to where Twilight and Pinkie hovered to form up again, but were now directly in the path of Frieza's redirected attack. How does he keep bending his shots like that? Twilight mused.

"Nope!" said Rainbow Dash, smashing one of the disks with a rolling roundhouse kick before it could get to Fluttershy.

Rarity, weapon at the ready, parried the other one dead center. However, she let out a gasp when it was her needle that was cleft in twain, and barely managed to avoid the bulk of the disk at it opened up a gash in her side. She screamed in pain.

"Rarity!" shouted both Twilight and Fluttershy at the same time. Fluttershy rushed over to tend to Rarity, pulling out a first-aid kit from somewhere. Twilight's nostrils flared as she whirled on Frieza. That fiend!

Beating her to the punch was Applejack, who rushed in from behind Frieza as he readied another barrage of death beams. They all went wide, fired prematurely as Applejack wrapped her hooves around his torso, pinning his arms to his sides. With effort, Twilight cancelled them all out with beams of her own one after the other anyway, refusing to entertain the possibility of her friends suffering further.

Frieza growled, trying to shake Applejack off with over-the-shoulder whips of his tail. "Let go of me!"

"No can do, ya varmint!" Applejack held on despite the mighty blows, steadfast, and even retaliated with a furious headbutt to the back of Frieza's skull.

As they continued to struggle, Pinkie creased her brow. "Girls, I'm not sure we can keep this up. At this rate somepony will end up hurt really badly."

"Exactly!" said Dash, her hooves crossed. "What we really need is an opening to hit him with the full force of the Rainbow Power. Then he'll be sorry!"

"But how?" asked Twilight. "All six of us need to be unoccupied for that."

Nopony had the chance to answer, thanks to Frieza. "Enough of this! HAAAAH!" With another immense flare of dark power, he flung Applejack off, his arms springing open.

With a roar, Twilight seized the opening to fire another full-force blast of magic. At such close range, Frieza could only block. But block he did, holding back the alicorn's power with this bare hands as he was forced backwards slightly. Soon, has was actually pushing forwards.

Sweat dripped across her brow as Twilight mustered more and more of her will against Frieza's. "Gah! I won't be able to keep this up forever!"

Fluttershy finished patching up Rarity as best she could, the unicorn's teeth clenched shut despite heavy breaths, then faced Twilight with worry. "I'm not sure I can bear the sight of so much violence for much longer. If only we had some sort of distraction, then we could do Rainbow's plan and end this."

Almost on cue, a wave of oily, multicolored energy buffeted Frieza from above. It knocked him off balance enough for Twilight's extended spell to finally connect properly, propelling Frieza into the distance. What the—?

"Sorry I'm late, friends. Genre convention demanded I arrive at the last possible moment."

Twilight had a pretty good idea as to the identity of the voice's source, but looked up anyway. It was in fact Discord, wearing a tie-dyed martial arts gi and sporting a toothy grin.

"Discord!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "You came!"

"What took ya so long?" asked Applejack. "And 'genre convention' ain't gonna cut it as an excuse. Look at Rarity!"

At this, Discord winced. "I know, I know. I was also busy convincing the Guard, ol' Sunbutt, and that coot Star Swirl and those Pillars of his to stay away. This is way above their pay grade."

As much as she respected those listed, Twilight couldn't argue with that. It was time to cut to the chase. "Ok everypony, one more time!"

Her friends met Twilight's determined eyes with their own one by one before they got back into formation, shining light encompassing them. At the same time, Frieza was ascending like a beast possessed, all traces of mercy having long since vanished. However, Discord floated in his path, and with a snap of his lion's paw, three more Discords appeared by his side.

"Have a taste of my special Multi-Form Technique!" he exclaimed before diving to meet Frieza head-on.

While Discord and his clones came to blows with Frieza, fists flying with impossible speed, Twilight focused on the magic of friendship within her heart. Soon, she could feel the myriad connections between herself and those with her. Reaching deep into those bonds for salvation, for triumph against all odds, she once again felt her magic surge exponentially, and this time it would not be stopped.

Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow each brought to bear everything they had in the form of six streaks of color. Frieza dispatched the last Discord with a furious uppercut, who vanished in a puff of smoke just as the six Elements became one, lancing downwards as a rainbow of devastating majesty.

Upon beholding their weaponized harmony, Frieza did not falter. "I won't allow it to end this way, you loathsome creatures! Now, perish!"

He braced one arm with the other at the elbow, drawing on the full extent of his inner darkness as he was engulfed in an indigo inferno. And from his outstretched hand fired an enormous blast of shadow and cold so intense that it froze the very air itself, flakes of dry ice spiraling out of its path.

When the two beams met, the shockwave was so intense it shattered every window for miles and sent gale-force winds whipping outwards. Light and darkness pressed against eachother in a deadlock, producing a growing rumble.

"Wait, isn't this the part where we win instantly?" asked Dash. "Why aren't we winning instantly?"

"How can this not be enough?" added Fluttershy.

The power of Harmony flowing through Twilight, she asked herself the same question. And as the full manifestation of Frieza's overwhelming hatred started inexorably advancing towards them, she found the answer. "Frieza is a monster, fighting to satisfy his own twisted ambitions. But we don't fight for ourselves, we step up for all those who depend on us! That's why we won't be defeated! We can't be, for them, no matter who we face! Remember who you fight for!"

All traces of anxiety fled from Fluttershy's face. "For the meek!" The light coming from her body grew even more vibrant.

"For family!" exclaimed Applejack, following suit.

"For the future!" shouted Rarity.

Then, Pinkie Pie: "For happiness!"

Next, Rainbow Dash: "For eachother!"

And finally, Twilight Sparkle: "For all of Equestria!"

With a collective cry of triumph, the Rainbow Power redoubled in strength, shining like a prismatic beacon in the sunlit sky. It cut through Frieza's ultimate attack like a hot knife through butter, completely unimpeded.

As it passed the halfway point, rapidly drawing closer to Frieza, he balked. "No! Impossible! Not again! I am absolute! I—"

His protests were cut short as the last motes of ice from his attack faded away, now enveloped by the rainbow. Frieza howled in fury as his stance broke. Flakes of ash broke off of his body as his power was literally stripped away. Soon, the pony beneath reappeared as the last of the darkness vanished. And then not even that remained, the forces of harmony completely vaporizing him.

Everything ceased, the Rainbow Power spent. As Twilight and the others slowly floated to earth, the alicorn stared at the wisp of smoke where her greatest and most unexpected foe last stood and let out a great sigh of relief.

Despite the immeasurable forces at play, in the aftermath of the battle, no one besides Frieza was killed. It was a near thing, though. When Twilight saw that Spike was safe and sound, she broke down, squeezing tight in an embrace that she could have sworn lasted hours. Similar reunions occurred between her friends and their families, adopted or otherwise.

Starlight had nearly driven herself to total magical exhaustion teleporting all of Ponyville's residents to safety, and had fallen unconscious from the exertion. She would need to spend days in the hospital recovering, along with Rarity and Rainbow Dash. The latter was used to physical rehabilitation at this point despite her irritation at the whole process. Rarity, meanwhile, would be left with a large scar from the ordeal. Twilight was worried she wouldn't take it well, but was put as ease when Rarity simply stated it was just a nice excuse to wear her work more often.

Even Discord, who reappeared completely unharmed later that day, understood the gravitas of the situation, helping to reconstruct damaged homes and businesses, and only replacing a few windows with sugar glass in the process.

And while Twilight flitted this way and that, explaining to the townsponies and friendship students exactly what had happened, and providing reassurance that it was all over, she couldn't help but take their questions to heart. She took a moment to look to the heavens in contemplation. Really, why was Frieza sent here? For us to change him for the better? If so, whoever did put him here must be rather disappointed by all this. Not even Harmony deemed him worth the risk.

As another pony flagged her down, Twilight shook her head. I suppose it's best we just move on, like always.