Maul & Oats Destroy Equestria

by StarVsChaos-Lord

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1188

Two pony scientists named Maul & Oats have just come up with a great idea...too bad it won't end well.

Two pony scientists named Maul & Oats have just come up with a great idea…too bad it won't end well. One shot comedy.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-18 19:50:06 UTC

Friendship is powerful enough to destroy worlds...

It was just another day in the City of Canterlot, the streets bustling with ponies and other creatures as the shops and vendors opened up. This story takes place in the Canterlot University Of Magic, a famous building created by Starswirl the bearded long ago so unicorns could practice magic in different ways. Within this hallowed halls in one of the study rooms were two unicorn scientists, Maul & Oats.

These two ponies were doing what they usually do on any given day....thinking while actually not doing anything. Maul & Oats wore standard white lab coats as they sat on swerving chairs doing not much, but thinking of an idea that would make them famous in the eyes of ponies everywhere.

It was quiet as the two thought of what was done in the past, and how they could think of something better to do with magic.

“I got it!” Maul yelled.

“What? You actually have a good idea this time?”

“When don’t I have good ideas?”

“The Vibrating Chairs…” Oats said.

“Hey, how was I supposed to know the mares would love them a little too much. Anyway this is a good idea….in fact it's the greatest idea ever!”

“Ok...what is it?”

“We will build a machine that will analyze magic particles and give us data that nopony has ever seen before. We will call it a Mystic Hadron Collider.”

“What?”

“Imagine, the world's largest and only functioning Mystic Hadron Collider. With this we can colloid Magical Particles to simulate the beginning of the universe, but more importantly how magic came into being.”

“Wait...won't the energy from this be so great it could tear a hole in space and time? I'm pretty sure that would destroy the world.”

“No...maybe...look it will give us fame and great knowledge on how magic really works...and it ‘probably’ won't kill us.”

“Hey….That is the greatest idea ever!” The two brohoofed and began to draw up the plans for this Mystic Hadron Collider.

…..

Now as the narrator I know what your thinking...and no there is no clop...weirdo.

Anywho, how would they build this massive device. Well some time before this, the Spirit of Chaos, Discord wanted to get something for Fluttershy so he could ask her on a date. So he made fancy items for her home, there it hit him to make stuff for ponies who ask for the fun of it.

Thus, Discord’s Fabrication Service was born. Maul & Oats traveled to the Chaos Realm and met with Discord at this office.

“So what exactly is it you ponies want me to make? A mansion, a battle elephant, name it and it's yours.” Discord says to Maul & Oats.

“We have these plans to make a Mystic Hadron Collider to discover the beginnings of magic, which could easily go wrong and cause a series of spiraling events ending all creation as we know it….For science.” Maul & Oats made their case to Discord.

Now you would think by now Discord could see this won't end well, right...well I hope you didn't bet the farm cuase he said this...

“Are you two serious?! That was got to be….The greatest idea ever! I’ll get work on it right away!” Thus Discord made the doomsday machine...I mean Mystic Hadron Collider inside the open space of the Chaos Realm.

…..

It was nearing the days till the two ponies would forever change the world, news of the Mystic Hadron Collider had everypony exited. Maul & Oats soon traveled around Equestria like kings as they showed simulations of the Mystic Hadron Collider. Soon the two were a household name and well respected in their field of study. Evidently at a party in Canterlot Castle, the two meet Princess Twilight Sparkle who asked them a few questions about the Mystic Hadron Collider.

“Are you two excited?! I can only imagine the data from the Mystic Hadron Collider.”

‘Yes Princess, the Mystic Hadron Collider is such a great idea we just had to make it real. I mean I think it's a great idea, Oats thinks it's a great idea...it will be forever told that we had the Greatest idea ever!” Maul exclaimed to Twilight.

“I agree...so when are you going to turn it on?” Twilight asked causing Oats to stop and think.

The thought of turning on the Mystic Hadron Collider gave Oats a headache as he pictured what could easily go wrong if the Complex does not work. In his mind echoed the screams of trillions if the Mystic Hadron Collider rips time and space apart.

……

Oats awoke in his bed as the Sun rose to shine in his face. He tried to get excited as today he and Maul would turn on the Mystic Hadron Collider. Oats got dress in his lab coat and left his home to meet Maul. On the way to the Chaos Realm where the Mystic Hadron Collider was, Oats asked Maul something.

“Maul…”

“Ya Oats, aren't you excited to turn on the greatest idea ever?”

“But...what if it isn't a great idea?” Maul was silent at the two arrived at the Mystic Hadron Collider control room.

“Well...It's time to destroy the world.” Maul muttered.

“What?!” Oats yelled in surprise.

“I meant turn on the Mystic Hadron Collider...I'm just a bit nervous.”

Within the Mystic Hadron Collider control room was one red button that would activate the experiment. Maul & Oats looked at it with joy and fear.

“Time to push that button.” Maul said.

Yep, the button to turn on the Mystic Hadron Collider.” Oats mentioned.

“Which might destroy the world….maybe.”

“Well we won't know unless we try.” Oats hesitated.

“Wait, are you having second thoughts? You listen to me...We are scientist, we have dedicated our lives to the search of discovery. It is our jobs to unlock the mysteries of the cosmos. The Mystic Hadron Collider isn't just a good idea...it's the Greatest Idea Ever...Now you hit that Celestia damned button.” Oats found his courage and pressed the button, the machine turned on and made a beep sound once.

“We did it!” Oats yelled.

“That was it?” Maul said.

“What do you mean? Just look at all the data on the monitors.”

“Sure, but it feels a bit anti-climatic…”

“You wanted to destroy the world didn't you?”

“Maybe a little…”

“Well...we still can, we just need to overload the system.”

“Well do it then.”

“Why?”

“I did a lot of stuff last night, one of which was getting Princess Twilight pregnant....”

“You know what, I’ll do it because you're my friend, Maul.”

“You're my friend too, Oats.” The two hugged as Oats smashed the button over and over.

The Mystic Hadron Collider overloaded with magical energy and created a rift so great it consumed the universe in a blink of an eye. From that act of Friendship came the birth of a universe that is home to Earth and the Human Race. As for me, the narrator...I was taking a hot tub bath with Princess Luna and Celestia.

The moral is friendship is powerful enough to destroy worlds.