The Different Prince

Quills and ink. No ballpoint pens, apparently they hadn't been invented yet. For all it's marvels, this place was missing a lot of advancements. Perhaps, if I could get my memories in order, I might be able to aid them in that regard. For heavens sake, they don't even know what pizza is. I mean, are you kidding me? That alone would make me a billionaire.

Wait. It would, wouldn't it? Lets put a pin in that and pay a visit to the palace kitchens later.

Yes, we had multiple kitchens. Mother had one specifically for baking cakes. How was she not fatter? Don't tell her I said that, please.

Anyway, this store didn't seemed nearly as interesting. Just hundreds of different kinds of feather pens. No pencils even. Ink came in lots of little bottles. It seemed pretty standard for the era we lived in. There were mafic ones of course, like those that write on voice commands, but Lyra said I shouldn't use those for school. I was supposed to be learning after all.

parchment paper. Just regular parchments paper. Oh this place was boring.

"Just a while longer, Gold," Lyra chided me. She set about picking what I would need. I was content with that. I kind of wanted to explore my trunk. She went around a corner while I stared at a poster for an upcoming play. The Boulder of Tom's Wall. Must be a B production.

Just then, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning, I found a guard. "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, your highness. I just thought you would enjoy a nice drink."

She handed me a ceramic glass full of a liquid that smelled highly of lemons. I cocked my eyes and stared at her. "You think I'm pretty stupid don't you?"

Her eyes went wide and her hand shot for her sword. Then there was a cracking sound as another guard had come along and clubbed her from behind.

"I was just going to say I wanted a straw," I gaped in shock at the scene before me. "What... is this poisoned? Have I been targeted by assassin's again?"

The second guard's knife under my chin was very telling.

"Whoever is hiring you should really start coordinating with the other conspirators," I chuckled nervously as I began backing away. "Um... you wouldn't care to accept a bride would you?"

She paused her steps, actually contemplating it. "How much are we talking about?"

"Oh, good, no loyalty," I sighed in relief, cup floating my magic beside me. "How about your life?"

She suddenly felt the prick of the first guard's sword on the back of her neck. Now, I had never killed anyone in my life. I doubt I was capable of it at this point in my existence. But, what didn't know wouldn't hurt me. She dropped her knife and nodded.

"You are the highest today. Nice trick, using your grip on your cup to hide your lifting the sword."

"Oh, now we're complimenting each other?" I asked. "I n that case, nice tits. Now, on your knees and submit to arrest."

"Damn," she cursed as if it were more an inconvenience.

I called for Lyra's help. "Can we just cut to the chase? Save yourself from brutal torture or whatever it is mother does with my kidnappers or would-be murderers. Who hired you?"

"I work through a bureau," she shrugged defeatedly. "I just select the job, I never see the clients face."

"You're not a very good assassin," I said as Lyra appeared and began binding her and the unconscious one, most aggressively, I might add.

"Well, I'm really just the accountant for the assassin. She was on holiday, so I pitched in. Figured she'd really want this job on her resume."

"And now she's a fugitive," Lyra said in a very angry tone as she shoved the accountant down next to the unconscious assassin. "I'm pretty sure she won't be happy about this."

"Ah... didn't think that through," the accountant groaned in realization. "If I testify, can I get some leniency?"

Lyra sighed in anger and annoyance. "You'll have to ask his mother. Nine or so years ago, a mare and a griffon tried to kidnap him. No one's heard from them since."

"Oh dear."

"You wouldn't happen to be one of the assassin's who shot and poisoned me on my birthday would you?" I asked, giving the sword a little spin in the air. The ever motherly Lyra took it from me and shook her head.

"No, I'm a terrible shot, and poisons creep me out." She sounded sincere. I almost pitied the poor mare. Then again, she did just try to kill me.

"Your highness," a voice called out. This time I was on the defense.

Two mares suddenly appeared, stark naked and bearing large welts on their heads.

"Someone or someones knocked us out and stole our uniforms, you could be in terrible danger."

They came skidding to a halt when they saw our prisoners.

"Yeah," I nodded. "We've taken care of things, thank you. I just hope this doesn't make mom any more insane about my safety."

"No luck there, I'm afraid," the mint mare shook her head. She was probably right. Dammit.

The real guards took their uniforms back and hauled the two prisoners out of the store to be taken to my mother for questioning. I did not envy them. The guards that is. Mother was going to throw a fit at their performance.

"Do we have everything?" I asked, looking at Lyra.

She nodded. "Yes, Gold. We can leave now."

"Finally," I groaned in the most dramatic fashion I could muster. "Summoning supplies was next, right?"

She nodded. "The Pullover Emporium. They'll having the most basic necessities for you first summoning rituals. That is, if Princess Celestia doesn't summon us back to the palace once she hears of this incident."

"Well, then we have no time to waste," I said, flying up onto Corner Stone's back. "We must make haste to the next shop. I refuse to thwarted before dinner."