Who Spiked the Punch?

by Lise

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Spike, Comedy
Length: 1981

Berry Punch likes to be the first one at the punch bowl. However, this time, someone beat her to it.

Berry Punch likes to be the first one at the punch bowl. However, this time, someone beat her to it.

Special thanks to ChappedPenguinLips for editing.

Published 2017-07-18 22:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-18 22:20:07 UTC

Shocking

“Oh, hey Berry.” Spike smiled.

Berry punch blinked, her jaw dropping to the ground. When she had snuck into the hall—an hour before the start of the party—she only hoped to have a few gulps of punch before the crowd. Instead, she discovered Spike, lying face up in the punchbowl.

“So you’re here early too, eh?” the dragon asked. “I thought I'd check it out before the party. You know, just to make sure everything was done right and stuff. Totally not to get some sapphire cupcakes.”

“Spike, this…” Berry Punch pointed forward, struggling to find words to describe the sight before her. “You're in the punch.”

“I know right?” Spike nodded. “I didn't even know until like twenty minutes ago. I always thought of myself as a cider type of dragon, but one taste got me hooked. It's amethyst dust? You add amethyst dust to the punch,right?”

“Ruby, but mostly it's the combination of fruit and spices that—“ Berry stopped. “Spike, you are in the punch!”

“Well, duh!” Spike crossed his arms. “Tell me something I don't know.”

Berry Punch closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them again. The dragon was still there looking like a tortoise on its back. At such a sight there were a thousand and one questions that came to mind. Why was the dragon at the punch table to begin with? How exactly had he gotten stuck? Why hadn't he called for help? Yet the only thing she could think about was did the shade of punch go well with his scales?

“We must get you out of here,” the mare said, rushing to the punch table. “Did you try—“

“Yeah,” he cut her short.

Yeah? Berry Punch titled her her head, confused.

“I haven't said anything yet.” She put her forehooves on the table, taking a closer look at Spike’s predicament. From this angle she could see the dragon’s sides pressing firmly against the glass of the bowl.

“I've tried everything,” Spike sighed. “Actually, I tried to grab a fork or something. No luck. They're too far away.”

“Okay, why didn't you just tip over?”

“And break Twilight’s prized punchbowl she got from Princess Celestia?” Spike turned his head as much as he could towards Berry. “Yeah, right. Like that will do well. Twi’s still grumpy about the Crystal Empire trophy I nibbled on last week.”

Good point, Berry Punch thought. Breaking the bowl to escape wasn't the best option under the given circumstances. If she were a unicorn she could probably just levitate him up then pull the bowl off, but as it stood she couldn't do a thing.

“Tried sending a scroll?” she asked, gently poking Spike with her hoof. His scales were much softer than she expected.

“No quill, no scrolls.” Spike sighed. “And would you stop walking around me? You're making me dizzy.”

Berry ignored the request. “Hm. Tried calling a unicorn for help?”

“Umm, the whole point is not to get noticed?” Spike squirmed around a bit, in another attempt to get out, but stopped the instant he felt the bowl start to tip. “And stop poking me!”

“Sorry.” Berry Punch pulled back her hoof.

The dragon was stuck tight. Pulling him out wasn't an option. In truth, she doubted even a unicorn would manage with brute force alone. Although, she didn't understand Spike’s reluctance to ask for help. Sure, it was an embarrassing situation, but not the first. Just a few weeks ago he managed to tangle his leg to a balloon as it flew over Ponyville, resulting in him acting as ballast for over two hours. Why would this be any different?

“Okay, I think think I can help.” Berry looked at the tableware. “I'll take a knife and slide it between you and the side of the bowl. It's the suction that's keeping you stuck. Once I get some air in there you’ll be fine.”

“Duh!” Spike rolled his eyes. “That's what I've been trying to do? Difficult when, you know, I can't reach anything.”

Somepony’s grumpy today. Berry frowned as she bit on a knife handle. There was no way she was drinking from the punch now. Once Spike was out she was going to throw it all away and prepare a new bowl. With an hour left before the party the result was going to be highly questionable, but it would have to do. And it was definitely better than dragon punch.

Carefully, like a surgeon over an operating table, Berry slid the tip of the knife between Spike’s scales and the glass. The dragon stirred with a giggle. Great. And he's also ticklish. She added more pressure. A faint pop sounded. That was exactly what she was aiming for. Relieved, Berry pushed the knife further down—she wanted to sure there wouldn't be a repeat of the situation.

“Try now,” Berry Punch said.

Spike stirred a bit. His head and back rose up, free of his punch prison, yet seconds later went back down again.

“What's the matter?” Berry felt a shock in her stomach. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Spike waved dismissively. “Just that… I'm sort of numb.” Berry’s eyes widened with surprise. “Blood circulation. I've been stuck in the punch for half an hour.”

“Spike…” Berry shook her head. Of course he'd have trouble moving. It was the fact he had voluntarily remained in this uncomfortable state, and for that long, that confused her. If it were her she'd call for help after the first minute. Was the dragon ashamed?

Even after all this time the dragon had hardly changed. In many aspects he still was a child at heart, lacking the skepticism and bitterness that came with age, at the expense of Twilight levels of sarcasm. It was endearing to a degree.

“Hey, I didn't plan this, okay?” Spike grumbled. “Not my fault you make such good punch. You really put your heart into it, you know?”

Berry froze. This was the first time anypony had given her such a compliment. Because of her cutie mark, everypony took her punches for granted. Most often she'd get as little as a “thank you”. Hearing Spike praise her made her feel warm inside.

Alright, you win, you goof. Berry Punch smiled. I’ll get you out of this mess. The way the dragon was stuck, there was one viable option to get him out while keeping him and the bowl intact. In general, it wasn't something that Berry would volunteer to do, but under the circumstances she didn't mind.

“How did you fall in anyway?” She pushed a chair against the punch table, then went to fetch another.

“Funny thing that.” Spike let out a tense laugh. “You know how Twilight gets upset if her tableware gets dirty before an event, right? So, I wanted to have some punch, but I didn't feel like going all the way to the kitchen to wash the cup I used.”

“Uh-huh.” Berry pushed a second chair next to the first.

“And I can't risk dripping anything on the tablecloth…” Spike paused for a moment. “So, I climbed on the table to get a sip. Well, gulp. Anyway, I bent down and had a few gulps, and it was really good, but then I sorta lost balance—“

“And you fell inside,” Berry Punch finished the sentence.

“What?” Spike stared at her in shock. “And mess up the tablecloth? No way! I grabbed hold of the punch bowl and…” his words trailed off. Berry tilted her head, smirk on face, waiting for an explanation. “Fine! I went in on my own! Happy now? Your punch does wonders for my scales. Hydrates them and such, you know? Usually I annoy Twilight for a rejuvenation spell, but this is the real deal. Fifteen minutes and I'm good for weeks! Can you tell me the recipe?”

Dragons using punch as a mud bath? Berry was unsure whether she should feel flattered or insulted. From now on she was definitely going to avoid drinking punch at parties, unless she could account for every minute of the punch’s existence from the moment it was made to the moment she dipped her cup.

Snorting, Berry climbed up the two chairs and stepped on the table. She expected it to wobble, but it managed to hold her weight without problems. Good thing Twilight wasn't skimpy, unlike Filthy Rich. For all his money the tables he had bought for his parties were incredibly flimsy.

“Umm, what are you doing?” Spike asked as Berry stood above him.

“Something incredibly stupid, no doubt,” Berry retorted. “Now gently grab hold of my neck. I'll pull you out and that will be the end of that.”

“But the tableclo—“ Spike began, yet instantly stopped seeing the mare’s glare. “Yep, sounds good. So I just grab you?”

Most awkward thing I've done sober. Berry Punch took a deep breath as Spike grabbed her around the neck in what to the untrained eye could only be described as a hug. The punch had soaked into his scales letting off a faint but very specific aroma, almost like a punch lollipop. Focus. Berry bit her lip. All she had to do was pull him out of the bowl without breaking anything. The tablecloth and napkins might suffer, but that's what he got for trying to bathe in a punchbowl! Although swimming in a pool of punch did have some merit. Maybe Berry would try it sometime.

Getting Spike out and onto the floor was surprisingly easier than expected. Almost like fishing, if fish were calm and cooperative, and drenched in sweet alcohol. One had to admire him, though. Most other ponies would be crying in shame at this point, if they hadn't already galloped out of the room. Not Spike. He stood there, punch dripping from his back scales, grinning as if nothing had happened.

“I better get a new tablecloth, huh?” Spike glanced over his shoulder.

“And I'll make some fresh punch.” Berry sighed. “Next time, please just use a—“

Before Berry Punch could finish, the dragon hugged her tightly. His scales felt soft, almost rubbery. The surprise brought a shade of rose to Berry’s cheeks. It made her feel warm, more than the first few cups of alcohol at a party. Just go on with it, she told herself. After all, what else could she expect from a dragon that took a bath in the party punchbowl?

“Thanks, Berry,” Spike whispered. “You really helped me out there.”

“Umm, yeah.”

“I really—“

“Spike?!” a yell mixing scorn and disbelief came from the hall entrance. “I knew it! I just knew it!” A furious Twilight stormed in, trotting straight for the pair. “How could you?! I still can't believe you just ran off with some stupid excuse, just so you could sneak here before the party and—“ The princess stopped in her tracks. Her eyes moved from Spike to Berry Punch, then back again. “Oh.” Her lips curved in an apologetic smile. “Oh, I just remembered that I promised Pinkie Pie to help her with a thing.” She took a step back. “You just do whatever you're…” Twilight coughed, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of purple. “Hey, Berry Punch! How are you? Looking good. Well, I'll just, you know, go and… Really, don't mind me.” She took another step back, then disappeared in a flash of purple light, leaving the two alone.

Spike and Berry Punch remained silent for a few seconds more. It took both that long to process what had happened and twice as much what it meant. At the end, the dragon let go and moved a step to the side.

“Well,” he said, looking at the spot Twilight had been. “That happened. Want to help me clean the table?”

“Sure.” Berry Punch shrugged. “You take care of the tablecloth, I'll make some punch…”