Addict With A Penby ChildrenOfTheSunChaptersChapter Zero, CapitulationChapter One, ToilChapter Two, HomeChapter Zero, CapitulationSnowy sat upon her chair, staring blankly at the page before her. A pencil pressed gently against the table, a orange-ish light falling upon it. Her sensitive eyes straining somewhat to themselves open. Even as she was so tired and weak, she wanted to do something more. To push herself to stroke out beauty onto the page without hesitation. But it did not come to her. To be able to write thought provoking poems or spill out her guts to nothing. To grind out her emotional state onto someone else, for them to look at it and think for once. After so long, she just gave up. A pale white hoof reaching out to press her lamp’s on-off button. And with a satisfying click, the light went out. And after waiting for but a moment for her eyes to adapt, to relax into their normal black-ish orbs, she reached to push her chair back, and she fell off of it onto the carpeted floor. Glancing around her messy and unkempt room. She felt a sudden stab into her stomach, it was the same emotional feeling. One which she wished she could just ignore… Snowy reached a hoof to rub her face softly, even though it was more so to cover her eyes and hide them from the horrible living space before them. Until she relaxed, a soft sigh leaving her. And she just took off, out of her room. At a steady pace. And into her apartment’s hallway, all of the doorways down her hall were closed. Including the other bedroom and the bathroom. And she walked into the living room, which only contained a coffee table in front of a soft couch and a love seat. Things she rarely used. The Bat Pony mare knew what she planned to do, and it wasn’t going to be pleasant. Taking only a few steps into the barely separated “dining room”, which was empty, she moved into the kitchen. Knowing all the shame in it, she didn’t care. And she walked over to the fridge, reaching out with her mouth to pull it open, Her fanged teeth gripping around it as she took one or two steps back, and flicked her head to the side slightly. And stuck her head into the fridge. Producing a pack of alcoholic beverages. Six bottles to be exact. And she lifted if off of the rack which it set, one of her hooves reaching to throw it closed. Snowy, the delicate little thing, just turned around again and moved back out of the kitchen, through the dining room, through the living room, down the empty hall, and back into her room, kicking the door shut behind her, somewhat softly, and moving to her bed, no, the mattress on the floor she called a bed. Setting the box onto the plastic, hollow crate beside her bed. She laid back onto her bed. Her head laying onto a uncovered, fluff ball of a pillow. Not yet reaching for her blanket, which was something she’d had for years. Since her uncle kicked her out for failing to meet his expectations. She reached to one of the several bottles, and then took it’s top to her mouth and uncapped it. Spitting the cap into a pile of nothing, or toys, or books. Or whatever covered the floor, and she just flipped it over and shoved it into her mouth. Some of the liquid falling onto her face, down her neck and cheeks, and onto her bed. Wetting it and soaking into the dark blue sheets. Even though it tasted like shit, it gave her a shudder and made her feel just that much better. The feeling that she should be productive right now melting away. Gulping it down and breathing through her nose. She felt peaceful like that. As if she had escaped her shit life. And she continued drinking her problems away, until sleep took her. And she dropped off into nothingness. A dreamless unwell rested sleep. One which she wouldn't wake up from happy and smiling, instead wishing she never even slept. Author's Note I wanted to name this one " Surrender for tonight" but I thought that'd too long, so I just went with this. Also, I plan to actively keep up with this. Posting a chapter every week at least. I'll hold myself to this standard, and you'll get more beautiful depression. Chapter One, ToilSnowy woke up with an intense start, gasping out and a sudden stabbing pain in the back of her head from the noise. She had forgot she had work entirely. And it was somewhat jarring to be shaken awake, a bottle curled against her chest and others on the bed or floor, some clearly having spilled out onto the ground. She sat up in the dark room, reaching a hoof to gently caress the back of her soft head. The Bat Pony reached another hoof to come bring it smashing down onto the top of her alarm clock, gently flashing red numbers becoming solid once again. Snowy glanced over to her covered window. Which made the room quite dark. She pulled herself up and off of her mattress. Stumbling over to her clothing rack and retrieving her saddle bags and shades. Putting the latter onto her little head and pushing them up so that they rested in her messy-ish mane. Then putting her saddle bags onto herself. Containing everything that she'd need for the day before her. Snowy then, as swiftly as she had stumbled out of bed, took off for her bathroom. Flicking the light on, which was just one bulb above the mirror, and grabbing her toothbrush and mane brush, using the toothbrush first to quickly clean her mouth and then her mane brush to make her mane somewhat presentable. Before spitting out the tooth paste which she had been holding in her mouth, throwing down her brushes, and leaving the room without even turning the light off. She didn't really have time to think, due to the fact she woke up at 6:10, she had about thirty straight to get to the theater by hoof or carriage. She sure as hell didn't have enough bits, so she decided to push herself out the door rather quickly. Pushing her shades down and generally making herself ready to go dashing through the door. She was once again, with very little thought, out the door after only a short time. Only allowing herself to get a soft dazing from the young sun's rays. Before charging down her apartment's stairs to the ground floor. Her hooves barely hitting the pavement before she was already taking down a stone-paved path, and bringing herself onto the busy streets after a short walk through a more heavily forested area. And stopping for a moment, staring at the ponies and carriages marching down the down street. In her own dazed moment, she was bumped onto the ground with a hard thump. A loud squeal escaping her, taking a moment, and quickly so, to pull herself up. Who ever had hit onto the ground, if by purpose or accident, had already fled. "Ah, fucker..." She hissed loudly. "Hey, lady!" Snowy's ears perked up, her shoulder pain becoming less as she glanced around for the source of the voice. "Over here!" She finally found the person who was calling her. It was a carriage stallion, his coat was softly beige and his mane was brown. He seemed to be looking at her, not with spite or anger, but with a greeting expression. It was somewhat strange to see, but she approached none-the-less. "Yeah?" Snowy spoke loudly, glancing to each one of her sides. The Stallion was closer to the curb. "Do you need a ride?" He asked kindly, softly. "Uh, um... I don't have any bits" She had moved closer, so that the carriage would completely cover her body from the sight lines of others and passer-bys. "You really look like you need it lady. Get in." He waved his hoof back to the carriage, and it made Snowy smile somewhat. She nodded, and then took herself around to the small steps up into it. Not questioning the Stallion, she was thankful... "Where to?" "Manehattan Theater, please!" "You got it." Just like that, the carriage was on a quick move. Leaning back into the seat, her eyes falling shut for a moment. She was comfortable, someone was giving her mercy and kindness when people rarely did. She felt the carriage to stop after what she could have estimated as being about fifteen minutes. And she pushed herself off of the seat, and quickly moved out of the carriage. "Thank you so very much!" She yelled out behind her, glancing back only once. Before taking a run down the slope of the curb, and into an alley. And through the theater's back doors. And proceeding on to the rest of her normal day... Chapter Two, HomeThe Bat Pony Mare walked home at about 6:00 PM, the streets having thinned out considerably as the moon began to rise. Carriages having became much more scarce. Her hooves dragging gently, her shades pressed up. She was on her way home. No one bothered her, as was normal. Just passing by, humming or looking straight ahead. Getting where they needed to be, just like little Snowy. She and they had no need to stop and talk or at least that was what she thought. Then again, she was anti-social as all hell. Snowy's hooves dragging on the ground gently with each step she took, making a soft scraping noise. She remembered faintly when her mother would scold her for it. Telling her it was unlady-like, annoying, and it'd eventually scratch her hooves down to nubs. Well, she never listened. And maybe it had, but it wasn't like she really cared, even if she loved her mother. Princesses blessed, she tried her best, it does not mean that Snowy was perfect or in a good mental state. Far from it, in fact. Even if her mother wanted her to not be beaten down by the world or to become jaded, she was just that. Even if she wanted a family, a better world. But alas, she was just another pony. A bat pony at that. The world rarely gave her a chance. Snowy shook everything out of her head, it was time to stop thinking so hard. She had some lovely liquids to taste and a soft bed to fall into. Well, it wasn't soft. In fact it was hard and unpleasant. But, none the less. It was her's, and it couldn't run away for drugs or leave her for some other girl. It was her's, and it wasn't leaving... After so long in thought, Snowy was pulled back into reality as she reached her apartment's stairs. Beginning to mindlessly climb it, as she always did. Not even being winded as she ascended. Random bits and bobs floating through her mind. She had to tell some kid who was completely alone that no, he couldn't see a R-rated movie. What did he do? He began cursing at her like some drug addict. She had just coldly stared at him. Unsure what to say, it's not her fault the laws and rules are that way. Hell, on the down low she may have let him in if he had a fake licence. Even though she knew he wasn't old enough. Quickly Snowy was met with her door, she reached back and felt around her own saddle bags. Taking a moment to grab onto the stretchy-cord which her key chain was on, and taking her house key in her mouth and pressing it into the lock, and twisting her head to the side. When she heard a click, she twisted her head right way up, and pushed down on the handle, and it floated open slowly. She walked into the vacuum which it now presented, then in one quick motion, she spun around, threw it closed, and used her teeth to turn the lock. It was strange how most everything seemed better fitted for Unicorns, but she didn't really care. She had figured most of it out on her own. Snowy turned around, and trotted over, through her living room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen... She knew she shouldn't drink tonight, and she decidedly restricted herself. No matter how much a queasy feeling and almost need she had for it, she shouldn't... Snowy walked over to the cabinets with the cups and reached up, pushing it open slowly and reaching in for a cup. Bringing it down to sit in the empty side of the sink; bringing the faucet over the cup, and turning it on. Watching as white-with-energy water fell into the cup. Until it was full enough for her. "I wonder why so many people think tap water is gross..." Snowy mumbled, grabbing a hold of the now filled cup. It had some droplets on the outside of it. She thought of them when she was just a filly as being like outsider ponies. Refusing to conform to a fucked up world which rejected them for who they were, but it was always so silly. After all, it came from the very socially awkward filly who barely passed elementary school. Not like many ponies valued her deep out looks on teh world, right? Or was she mistaken? The Bat Pony turned and began to take her leave from the kitchen, taking the normal path back to her room, waddling in and placing her cup on her crate night stand, which nicely fit into one of the several cube-shaped holes. Letting it slid down some into place, and she fell into bed. She didn't have work tomorrow, thank Celestia. She could just laze ar- She had nearly forgot she needed to throw away the trash from last night... Glancing over to her side, she saw several bottles laying on the ground and with a loud, drawn out sigh. Snowy pulled herself up from the bed, and picked up the bottles. Making a quicker then normal trip back into the kitchen, about three bottles held to her chest which were empty and a holder with another three held in her mouth. She threw away the empty ones and opened up the fridge with moderate struggle, before placing the bottles in. Another six pack sitting next to it. She smiled for a moment, the queasy feeling hitting her rather hard. Before she stopped herself. Pulling her stupid head out of the cold fridge, and closing it. She had ate at the theater while on break, a mixture of chocolate cuddles and popcorn. She was fine, even if it wasn't healthy. She didn't need to be staring into the fridge... Snowy sighed, once again marching herself back to her room. With a few quick strides and movements. Before falling back into her bed with a gentle 'umph'. Letting her head fall onto the pillow, and shifting to become comfortable. She had all day tomorrow to do almost anything, she could just rest tonight.
Chapter Zero, CapitulationSnowy sat upon her chair, staring blankly at the page before her. A pencil pressed gently against the table, a orange-ish light falling upon it. Her sensitive eyes straining somewhat to themselves open. Even as she was so tired and weak, she wanted to do something more. To push herself to stroke out beauty onto the page without hesitation. But it did not come to her. To be able to write thought provoking poems or spill out her guts to nothing. To grind out her emotional state onto someone else, for them to look at it and think for once. After so long, she just gave up. A pale white hoof reaching out to press her lamp’s on-off button. And with a satisfying click, the light went out. And after waiting for but a moment for her eyes to adapt, to relax into their normal black-ish orbs, she reached to push her chair back, and she fell off of it onto the carpeted floor. Glancing around her messy and unkempt room. She felt a sudden stab into her stomach, it was the same emotional feeling. One which she wished she could just ignore… Snowy reached a hoof to rub her face softly, even though it was more so to cover her eyes and hide them from the horrible living space before them. Until she relaxed, a soft sigh leaving her. And she just took off, out of her room. At a steady pace. And into her apartment’s hallway, all of the doorways down her hall were closed. Including the other bedroom and the bathroom. And she walked into the living room, which only contained a coffee table in front of a soft couch and a love seat. Things she rarely used. The Bat Pony mare knew what she planned to do, and it wasn’t going to be pleasant. Taking only a few steps into the barely separated “dining room”, which was empty, she moved into the kitchen. Knowing all the shame in it, she didn’t care. And she walked over to the fridge, reaching out with her mouth to pull it open, Her fanged teeth gripping around it as she took one or two steps back, and flicked her head to the side slightly. And stuck her head into the fridge. Producing a pack of alcoholic beverages. Six bottles to be exact. And she lifted if off of the rack which it set, one of her hooves reaching to throw it closed. Snowy, the delicate little thing, just turned around again and moved back out of the kitchen, through the dining room, through the living room, down the empty hall, and back into her room, kicking the door shut behind her, somewhat softly, and moving to her bed, no, the mattress on the floor she called a bed. Setting the box onto the plastic, hollow crate beside her bed. She laid back onto her bed. Her head laying onto a uncovered, fluff ball of a pillow. Not yet reaching for her blanket, which was something she’d had for years. Since her uncle kicked her out for failing to meet his expectations. She reached to one of the several bottles, and then took it’s top to her mouth and uncapped it. Spitting the cap into a pile of nothing, or toys, or books. Or whatever covered the floor, and she just flipped it over and shoved it into her mouth. Some of the liquid falling onto her face, down her neck and cheeks, and onto her bed. Wetting it and soaking into the dark blue sheets. Even though it tasted like shit, it gave her a shudder and made her feel just that much better. The feeling that she should be productive right now melting away. Gulping it down and breathing through her nose. She felt peaceful like that. As if she had escaped her shit life. And she continued drinking her problems away, until sleep took her. And she dropped off into nothingness. A dreamless unwell rested sleep. One which she wouldn't wake up from happy and smiling, instead wishing she never even slept. Author's Note I wanted to name this one " Surrender for tonight" but I thought that'd too long, so I just went with this. Also, I plan to actively keep up with this. Posting a chapter every week at least. I'll hold myself to this standard, and you'll get more beautiful depression.
Chapter One, ToilSnowy woke up with an intense start, gasping out and a sudden stabbing pain in the back of her head from the noise. She had forgot she had work entirely. And it was somewhat jarring to be shaken awake, a bottle curled against her chest and others on the bed or floor, some clearly having spilled out onto the ground. She sat up in the dark room, reaching a hoof to gently caress the back of her soft head. The Bat Pony reached another hoof to come bring it smashing down onto the top of her alarm clock, gently flashing red numbers becoming solid once again. Snowy glanced over to her covered window. Which made the room quite dark. She pulled herself up and off of her mattress. Stumbling over to her clothing rack and retrieving her saddle bags and shades. Putting the latter onto her little head and pushing them up so that they rested in her messy-ish mane. Then putting her saddle bags onto herself. Containing everything that she'd need for the day before her. Snowy then, as swiftly as she had stumbled out of bed, took off for her bathroom. Flicking the light on, which was just one bulb above the mirror, and grabbing her toothbrush and mane brush, using the toothbrush first to quickly clean her mouth and then her mane brush to make her mane somewhat presentable. Before spitting out the tooth paste which she had been holding in her mouth, throwing down her brushes, and leaving the room without even turning the light off. She didn't really have time to think, due to the fact she woke up at 6:10, she had about thirty straight to get to the theater by hoof or carriage. She sure as hell didn't have enough bits, so she decided to push herself out the door rather quickly. Pushing her shades down and generally making herself ready to go dashing through the door. She was once again, with very little thought, out the door after only a short time. Only allowing herself to get a soft dazing from the young sun's rays. Before charging down her apartment's stairs to the ground floor. Her hooves barely hitting the pavement before she was already taking down a stone-paved path, and bringing herself onto the busy streets after a short walk through a more heavily forested area. And stopping for a moment, staring at the ponies and carriages marching down the down street. In her own dazed moment, she was bumped onto the ground with a hard thump. A loud squeal escaping her, taking a moment, and quickly so, to pull herself up. Who ever had hit onto the ground, if by purpose or accident, had already fled. "Ah, fucker..." She hissed loudly. "Hey, lady!" Snowy's ears perked up, her shoulder pain becoming less as she glanced around for the source of the voice. "Over here!" She finally found the person who was calling her. It was a carriage stallion, his coat was softly beige and his mane was brown. He seemed to be looking at her, not with spite or anger, but with a greeting expression. It was somewhat strange to see, but she approached none-the-less. "Yeah?" Snowy spoke loudly, glancing to each one of her sides. The Stallion was closer to the curb. "Do you need a ride?" He asked kindly, softly. "Uh, um... I don't have any bits" She had moved closer, so that the carriage would completely cover her body from the sight lines of others and passer-bys. "You really look like you need it lady. Get in." He waved his hoof back to the carriage, and it made Snowy smile somewhat. She nodded, and then took herself around to the small steps up into it. Not questioning the Stallion, she was thankful... "Where to?" "Manehattan Theater, please!" "You got it." Just like that, the carriage was on a quick move. Leaning back into the seat, her eyes falling shut for a moment. She was comfortable, someone was giving her mercy and kindness when people rarely did. She felt the carriage to stop after what she could have estimated as being about fifteen minutes. And she pushed herself off of the seat, and quickly moved out of the carriage. "Thank you so very much!" She yelled out behind her, glancing back only once. Before taking a run down the slope of the curb, and into an alley. And through the theater's back doors. And proceeding on to the rest of her normal day...
Chapter Two, HomeThe Bat Pony Mare walked home at about 6:00 PM, the streets having thinned out considerably as the moon began to rise. Carriages having became much more scarce. Her hooves dragging gently, her shades pressed up. She was on her way home. No one bothered her, as was normal. Just passing by, humming or looking straight ahead. Getting where they needed to be, just like little Snowy. She and they had no need to stop and talk or at least that was what she thought. Then again, she was anti-social as all hell. Snowy's hooves dragging on the ground gently with each step she took, making a soft scraping noise. She remembered faintly when her mother would scold her for it. Telling her it was unlady-like, annoying, and it'd eventually scratch her hooves down to nubs. Well, she never listened. And maybe it had, but it wasn't like she really cared, even if she loved her mother. Princesses blessed, she tried her best, it does not mean that Snowy was perfect or in a good mental state. Far from it, in fact. Even if her mother wanted her to not be beaten down by the world or to become jaded, she was just that. Even if she wanted a family, a better world. But alas, she was just another pony. A bat pony at that. The world rarely gave her a chance. Snowy shook everything out of her head, it was time to stop thinking so hard. She had some lovely liquids to taste and a soft bed to fall into. Well, it wasn't soft. In fact it was hard and unpleasant. But, none the less. It was her's, and it couldn't run away for drugs or leave her for some other girl. It was her's, and it wasn't leaving... After so long in thought, Snowy was pulled back into reality as she reached her apartment's stairs. Beginning to mindlessly climb it, as she always did. Not even being winded as she ascended. Random bits and bobs floating through her mind. She had to tell some kid who was completely alone that no, he couldn't see a R-rated movie. What did he do? He began cursing at her like some drug addict. She had just coldly stared at him. Unsure what to say, it's not her fault the laws and rules are that way. Hell, on the down low she may have let him in if he had a fake licence. Even though she knew he wasn't old enough. Quickly Snowy was met with her door, she reached back and felt around her own saddle bags. Taking a moment to grab onto the stretchy-cord which her key chain was on, and taking her house key in her mouth and pressing it into the lock, and twisting her head to the side. When she heard a click, she twisted her head right way up, and pushed down on the handle, and it floated open slowly. She walked into the vacuum which it now presented, then in one quick motion, she spun around, threw it closed, and used her teeth to turn the lock. It was strange how most everything seemed better fitted for Unicorns, but she didn't really care. She had figured most of it out on her own. Snowy turned around, and trotted over, through her living room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen... She knew she shouldn't drink tonight, and she decidedly restricted herself. No matter how much a queasy feeling and almost need she had for it, she shouldn't... Snowy walked over to the cabinets with the cups and reached up, pushing it open slowly and reaching in for a cup. Bringing it down to sit in the empty side of the sink; bringing the faucet over the cup, and turning it on. Watching as white-with-energy water fell into the cup. Until it was full enough for her. "I wonder why so many people think tap water is gross..." Snowy mumbled, grabbing a hold of the now filled cup. It had some droplets on the outside of it. She thought of them when she was just a filly as being like outsider ponies. Refusing to conform to a fucked up world which rejected them for who they were, but it was always so silly. After all, it came from the very socially awkward filly who barely passed elementary school. Not like many ponies valued her deep out looks on teh world, right? Or was she mistaken? The Bat Pony turned and began to take her leave from the kitchen, taking the normal path back to her room, waddling in and placing her cup on her crate night stand, which nicely fit into one of the several cube-shaped holes. Letting it slid down some into place, and she fell into bed. She didn't have work tomorrow, thank Celestia. She could just laze ar- She had nearly forgot she needed to throw away the trash from last night... Glancing over to her side, she saw several bottles laying on the ground and with a loud, drawn out sigh. Snowy pulled herself up from the bed, and picked up the bottles. Making a quicker then normal trip back into the kitchen, about three bottles held to her chest which were empty and a holder with another three held in her mouth. She threw away the empty ones and opened up the fridge with moderate struggle, before placing the bottles in. Another six pack sitting next to it. She smiled for a moment, the queasy feeling hitting her rather hard. Before she stopped herself. Pulling her stupid head out of the cold fridge, and closing it. She had ate at the theater while on break, a mixture of chocolate cuddles and popcorn. She was fine, even if it wasn't healthy. She didn't need to be staring into the fridge... Snowy sighed, once again marching herself back to her room. With a few quick strides and movements. Before falling back into her bed with a gentle 'umph'. Letting her head fall onto the pillow, and shifting to become comfortable. She had all day tomorrow to do almost anything, she could just rest tonight.
