Hospitality

Chapter Three:Hospitality /b]

"Sweet Apple Acres? Is that a farm or something?"

"Yep! It's where The Apple Family Works! They work hard to grow and harvest Equestria's finest Apples. From Fuji to Golden Delicious, they grow them all!" Said Twilight, seeming very proud of the Apple Family.

"Awesome."

SO come on, let's go in!" Said Twilight.

So we went through the gate at the front, and Twilight called for somepony called Applejack. I was again in for a surprise. When Twilight called Applejack, an orange pony with blonde hair, a cowgirl hat, three apples as her cutie mark, and her hair in a ponytail came. "Hey, Twi.", the Orange pony said in a Texas accent, happy to see her friend again. "So I'm guessing this is Applejack?" I said, slightly sarcastically yet distracted by how beautiful she was.

"Yeah, this is Applejack. She's one of my friends and works here as a great Bucker".

You're telling me, I thought in my head. *wink*

"What in the hay is that thing?" AJ said.

As always, Twilight explained about me going through the portal and blah-blah-blah.

"Oh. That's pretty intarestin'. Sorry if Ah offended ya." She said to me. So, hows about i show ya around Sweet Apple Acres?" AJ said.

"Sure...that'd be nice." I said, lovestruck.

Almost the entire time, I was either staring at her flank or looking at her face, walking around with a stiff one in my pants; luckily nopony noticed. You could actually see brown hearts in my eyes. (because my eyes are brown)

She then introduced me to her family that was here at the time.

"Here's mah brother, Big Macintosh..."

"Eeyup.", he said with basically no emotion.

"..Mah sister Apple Bloom..."

"Howdy there Mr. Kainoa!"

"...and mah grandma, Granny Smith. Granny! Wake up! We've got company!"

"UGHAWWA-- hwat? Oh hey ther!- What in Equestria's that!?"

"Ah human, Granny." She explained what a human was. Sort of.

"Oh-Kayy..." She said as she drifted back to sleep, snoring loudly.

"So, welcome to Sweet Apple Acres! Ah have uh feelin' yer hungry, arn't ya?" She said.

"Well, I didn't eat lunch, and it's about 4:40 pm..." I said, looking at my watch. "And my stomach is feeling empty, so why not?"

"Alright, then! So, what to ya what to eat? Apples? Apple pie? Apple fritters? Apple tart?"

"Not to offend you, but do you have anything BESIDES apples?" I had apples for breakfast. Weird, huh?

"Sure! We got Hay fries and Manehatten Grass Sandwiches!"

On second thought apples sound better.

After a meal of nothing but apples and apple related foods, I decided to give them some money. It was fair, after all, since they let me eat there.

"So how much do I owe you? 3 dollars?"

"Dollars? Ah dunno what those are, but ya don't owe nothing! It's on the house!"

Awesome. A free meal.

"Thanks! Well, I gotta go now; thanks for the food and tour!"

"No problem!"

"So, I saw you with googly eyes when you were staring at Applejack. YOU LIKE HER DON"T YOU?!" Spike yelled to me.

"What the hell are you talking about? I think she's cool like you and Twilight, but I don't like her like that!"

"Okay then. Whatever you say". Spike said, winking an eye at me.

"Hey Twi, what does 'hell' mean?" He whispered to Twilight. I could still hear him.

Before Twilight could say "i don't know", I answered "a bad word. Wait, lemme guess. you don't have bad words in Equestria?"

Silence. We also stopped as Twilight was wondering what "bad words" were. Were they words that were bad to use in a certain sentence?

"Wow. That's surprising, even for a place with talking colorful ponies."

"What's so different about the ponies in your world?"

"They're not colorful. They don't talk. They don't have things on their flank. Lots more, too."

"Interesting. I'll write that down when we get back home. Now, lets continue to go to the Carousel Boutique."

"Yay! I'll get to see Rarity there! Keep your hands off her, Kainoa."

"I'm guessing the Carousel Boutique is a clothing store. And a dragon named Rarity works there."

"Close. It's a clothing store, but Rarity is my friend and a pony."

That makes no sense to me. What if they really liked each other and wanted to conceive? Pony + Dragon = ? At that time I had no Idea what a draconequus was.

"We're here!" Twilight said excitedly.

"Rarity? Are you here?" Twilight asked through the door.

"Yes, I am! Sweetie Belle, could you get the door?" A small pony with a white and lavender mane opened the door.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle, is Rarity busy?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, she is, but you can come in!" The small pony said. "what's that thing?"

Twilight was getting tired of explaining it, so she sighed and said what I was.

"Cool!" The pony said with big eyes staring at me.

As we walked in, Spike sighed happily at the sight of a white pony with a beautiful purple mane. The white pony was working on a white dress, for a pony, by the looks of it.

"as she focused on making the dress, she talked to us. "Hello Twilight. So, how may i help you today, my darling?"

"I wanted you to meet someone. His name is Kainoa".

"Oh, wonderful!" She looked up to see me. "What is that?" She gasped.

"It's a-" Twilight began, but Rarity interrupted her. "No, I know that's a human, I heard you explain that to Sweetie Belle. I mean these clothes! I know that all creatures that wear clothes have similar preferences for them, and your clothes are simply ATROCIOUS! I must fix them right away! Come here human, I'll need you as a model so I can make you new clothes.

I walked to where she was leading me.

"Alright, now how many pieces of clothing do you wear? It looks like 2. Right of wrong?" She asked me. I nodded. "Alright, let me make something for you. I'm going to ask you to take off your current clothes, if that's okay with you".

"Sure?" Oh, christ, no. I could not just take my clothes off except for my undies in front of a pony. I was fat. I was a huge fatass dude. But oh well. I took of my red shirt that said "mixwell" on it and then took of my camo shorts. Surprisingly, she didn't mind or tease my lardness. "alright, so let me get some materials. I'll be right back. Oh geeze, leaving me basically naked, not even in the dressing room for Goodness sake. My damn underwear made it look like I had another boner. After about two minutes, she came back. "OK, now just stand like normal, this shouldn't take too long since I've practiced my sewing skills much."

Bored as hell, I decided to look around. Spike was looking really jealous, as I was basically being frisked by his crush as she sewed everything together and checked my proportions every 5 minutes. He made a peace sign and pointed them at his squinted eyes, then at me. Again, Twilight was reading a book that she brought from the library.

I slouched every now and then, and Rarity straightened me up. I almost fell asleep, and she slapped me across the face by accident instead of just patting my cheek. For a girl, she was strong. Every time I touch my cheek I can still feel the pain.

"Alright Mr...?"

"Kainoa."

"Mr. Kainoa, your clothes are done! Go ahead and look in the mirror." I walked to the mirror. It was pretty nice. She somehow knew I wore simple stuff and my favorite color was Green.

"So. What do you think?"

"It's PERFECT. You really are great at clothing!" I said complimenting her at her wonderful skills.

She blushed a little, as she knew she was good. "Why thank you!"

"So, how much do I owe you?"

"Because you're new here, it's on the house!"

"That's why she's the element of generosity." Twilight said out of the blue.

"Nice! Well, thanks Rarity!"

'Wow, these ponies are really nice. I like it here, so far. I might just stay here for a while,' I thought to myself. 'Wonder who we're gonna meet next.'