Dear Secret Journal,
I am writing to you today so that if something happens to me, I will have at least one clue to for my future self, or for somebody else to find after I’m long gone. Today has given me a short window of opportunity to testify and confide my thoughts and feelings to you, so I will share as much as I can before I return to the depths of Fluttershy’s mind.
I have spent the past several years in Equestria living an identity that is not my own, suppressed and even supplanted by the memories and personality of another, trapped in a body once foreign to me, taken from another world and thrusted into this one. As tragic as that may sound, I found happiness here and I’ve come to terms with the whole situation. At the same time, I can’t let go of the past. I miss my old life, and I long for my old family and friends.
Eris, why did you this to me? Why won’t you tell me while you still can? Will I ever go back? Will I ever see their faces and hear their voices again? Even though we’ve become good friends on the outside, you continue to torment me deep inside.
If you’re reading this, Eris, please know that I have long since forgiven you, but I cannot forget what happened that day; the day we met for the very first time, not in Equestria but where I once lived.
I was home-sitting, lounging in a white cotton tee and black boxer briefs while browsing the Internet on my charging laptop, seeing and reading what my fellow bronies had to share and discuss. There was a thunderstorm that day, but that didn't stop me from taking that cute pony personality test. Had I known you were watching me, Eris, I probably would have never done it, but who knows what other pony or creature you would have turned me into.
Just as I thought about how different Fluttershy and I are, despite what the results said, you struck me like a bolt of lightning, literally. You jolted through my corded mouse and into my body, throwing me off my desk chair and onto the carpet.
Thank heavens you didn't start a fire, but I noticed the thick black veins running through my dominant arm and through my bare legs. Yet, when I finally snapped out of my stunned state and tried to move, I was able sit upright on the floor as if nothing happened.
However, that wasn’t the end of it. As you healed my burnt body, I felt your powers sparking inside me like a shorted 9-volt battery before surging and spreading to the rest of body as you began to reconfigure and reshape my human male body into that of female pegasus mare.
I never felt pain like that in my life before. I was burning and tingling everywhere. All I could do was wriggle and squirm on the ground while watching your handiwork unfold in shock.
My peachy beige skin turned pastel yellow while my body hair grew into a short fur coat all over me. Flesh grew between and around my fingers as the bones in my hands fused together to form a pair of front hooves. My rear hooves formed in a similar way as my legs shortened and my feet elongated. My tailbone unfurled and sprouted outward until it punctured and stuck out the back of my underwear.
My neck stretched like a tree trunk while my jaws pushed out to form a small muzzle. Meanwhile, my teeth grew bigger and some of my incisors morphed into molars to match my new, more vegetarian diet. My hearing became more sensitive as my ears stretched and curled into two narrow funnels that gradually moved closer to the top of my head. My dark brown hair shedded and littered the carpet before new crops of pink flowing hair slowly draped from my scalp, nape, and tail.
My eyes and their sockets also grew bigger and I began to see more of what was around and behind me, only to be frightened even more as I glimpsed at one of the two joints forming on my back, pushing from underneath the fabric of my shirt. As my existing shoulders pulled closer to my chest, two limbs sprouted from the new ones and bursted through my top, growing into two naked wings. The new specialized arms began to feel prickly as healthy feathers sprouted and covered the appendages.
My internal organs reshaped and rearranged themselves to match my new body proportions, while my reproductive organs underwent other changes. As my moans of discomfort shifted higher in pitch, my breasts perked up slightly and moved down to my lower abdomen while an even hotter burning grew inches below. The bulge between my hind legs shrunk and its disappearance was accompanied by a sticky mess. With only a sensitive nub and folds of erogenous flesh remaining, I felt the latter being pulled taut and inward towards the intense heat in my widening pelvis, forming a stretchy canal.
I didn't ask for any of this, Eris, but you did it anyway. When it was all over and I was left utterly exhausted and damp with my own body fluids, I finally heard your gleeful, malicious cackle just before you held me and smiled at me with that toothy grin and those bright red eyes.
I was too tired to listen to the sweet nothings you uttered into my ears as you ran your claws down my body and tore off my damaged clothes. Despite my fatigue, I stared back at your face as long as possible, so I could remember. Once you were done admiring me, you tapped my forehead for the finishing touch and I finally passed out.
When I woke up in Fluttershy’s bed at the start of a new day, I still remembered your face even as the identity you planted in my mind took over my agency and buried me deep in the core of my being. While I soon accepted and found joy in the new life you thrust upon me, I still felt resentment towards you for a long time.
I could have smashed your stony imprisoned body, but I didn’t. When the time to reform you came, I held myself back from lashing out when you took advantage of my patience, hospitality, and friendship. But now, after what happened with Tirek, the hatred has all but gone. You’ve been so nice to me ever since, and I’ve grown accustomed to your face. Yet, you still haven’t talked to me instead of Fluttershy, even as you two share your quiet, private tea parties.
Why did you bring me to Equestria, Eris? Were you trying to send me to oblivion, to torment me in a cruel and unusual manner? Or is there something else? Are you like me, someone forced to live as another, and you just wanted someone who could relate your own situation?
I don’t want to ask you outright, Eris, but I can’t wait forever for an answer.
I feel my control slipping away. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back again, but I’ve written enough for the time being. I must hide this journal somewhere safe and I will write more when I can.
Until next time.
The Gentle Yellow Pegasus