Stagnation is a Cancer

by Hivemind

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 1384

Princess Celestia had legitimate aspirations.

As they sit down for tea and enjoy an afternoon in the castle gardens, Princess Celestia shares some of her old ambitions.

Published 2017-07-22 19:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-22 19:50:06 UTC

I Wanted to Do Everything

Princess Celestia quietly thanked the steward who had just delivered the tea cart. He smiled, took a short bow, and quietly turned and left.

Twilight's magic enveloped the cart's contents, separating cups, saucers, and napkins before placing one of each at her own and Celestia's place at the garden table. Next came the teapot, its pink, polished surface glistening in the afternoon sun. Celestia watched how the garden's winged inhabitants, hummingbirds, butterflies, and more fluttered close by, equally eager and curious of the ponies' purpose in their home, while her royal relative poured her a serving of her favorite brew. A pair of sugar cubes floated from a small urn on the cart and fell into their drinks, dissolving as Twilight gave them each a quick stir.

Celestia soon returned her attention to her protege, nodding as they both levitated their gilded cups to their lips, softly humming as the warm, sweet liquid trickled down their throats. She lowered her cup with a smile.

"I want to open a brothel." said Celestia, calmly.

Twilight gasped, gagging on the tea she hadn't swallowed. She coughed into her foreleg, then snapped her head up, eyes wide.

"A-A brothel?" muttered Twilight, her throat burning. She swallowed hard to relieve some of the pain, clearing her voice in the process.

"Yes," Celestia nodded. "A brothel. The biggest in all of Equestria, built right here in Canterlot. It will be five stories tall with hundreds of rooms, and I will have everypony from the rich to the poor flocking to its doorstep. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Twilight had little to say, or do. A stifling silence hung thick in the air. How could anypony possibly answer a stunning question like that, made by Princess Celestia herself, no less?

"W-Well! I..." stammered Twilight with a precarious smile, her gaze darting down into her teacup, hoping to find an answer--any answer--in the swirling brown liquid. She looked up only to, unfortunately, find the princess still staring at her, waiting patiently for a reply. She hid a sheepish smile behind her cup, then took a dainty, drawn out sip, hoping that, by the time she had finished, Celestia would have burst into laughter and revealed that her words were all in jest.

It didn't happen.

"Or," Celestia started, immediately catching Twilight's attention. "I should say, I wanted to open a brothel, many decades ago."

Twilight blinked, her gaze flicking between her drink and the older mare. "I see, princess."

"No, you don't." Celestia corrected. "I liked the idea. Really, I did. I wanted to open a brothel, but I could not." She stared at her guest, her warm, magenta eyes drilling deep into her soul. "You know why, of course."

"I can't imagine anything stopping you from opening...one of those." said Twilight. Nervously, she took another sip, silently begging that whatever inevitably awkward topic of conversation her former mentor had planned would die here and now. But, again, her prayers went unanswered.

"Almost everything is stopping me," murmured Celestia, offering a smile. "The crown, the nobility, the etiquette. All of it."

"Well, with great power comes great responsibility. Equestria needs you, princess. The duties you perform are important to all of us." Twilight pointed out, desperate to drive the conversation elsewhere, while simultaneously hoping that Celestia could be swayed to completely ignore her otherworldly desire to open a den of iniquity in the middle of the most prestigious example of nobility in the kingdom.

Celestia hummed. "Yes, they are, but a lone pony can't possibly hope to manage the affairs of an entire kingdom."

"Of course, and that's why you have Luna to help you."

"And a legion of advisers," Celestia chuckled. "In truth, Twilight, my sister and I are more a formality than you may know. I could rule as a true monarch back when the kingdom was small, and the affairs I had to manage were few in number, but the times have changed since then. I need more help than ever before, these days."

Celestia continued to speak after she downed the rest of her serving and promptly poured herself another. "I could seclude myself in the castle for a hundred years and nothing would change in the end. I could raise and lower the sun, as per usual, and it would be my advisers who tend to the busy work. Every last paper trail ends with me. All I would have to do is decide what to say 'yes' to and when." She lifted her brimming teacup to her lips, pausing to stare at Twilight again. "Does my role in Equestrian society seem so important to you now?"

To Twilight, it was a strangely difficult question to answer. She felt compelled to reply with a more unique answer other than a token "Your talents are invaluable to us all.", but the mare had a sneaking suspicion. So far, this business with opening a brothel and managing Equestria's affairs just wasn't connecting in her head. An uneasy feeling stewed in the pit of her gut.

"Almost everything is stopping me," Celestia continued, poignant. "Who are my subjects to tell me no? I have all the power in the kingdom to do as I wish. I could have opened up a bakery on Mane Street and spend years running the kingdom in front of a hot oven, or I could buy a boat and do...boat...things." She giggled. "I could have taken up carpentry, made jewelry, started a collection of model trains, tried eating a dozen consecutive tubs of mint chocolate ice cream, and so on, and so on, and so on."

Celestia breathed deeply. "But I became complacent, from the moment the crown was lowered onto my head. I was too comfortable in my position, and dreamed no further. It was every bit a blessing as it was a dreadful curse."

Celestia finished her second cup, continuing to leave her former student utterly clueless. A minute passed, and the conversation nearly felt over, yet Twilight couldn't help but feel keenly interested when Celestia spoke again. "What will you do when, not if, Starlight Glimmer is no longer under your tutelage?"

A pleasant breeze blew through the garden, and the chattering of birds momentarily drew Twilight away. They dove and climbed into the air, before a small flock had gathered and set off to frolic in the distance, where mountains stood tall, and swathes of forest blanketed the land.

"You are an alicorn, Twilight. Our kind shares many special gifts." said Celestia. Twilight twitched as a brief, but familiar period of existentialism rolled through her body. "You are a princess, but you are not me. Not yet. You have all the time in the world to enrich yourself before you have to sit on a throne."

Twilight's shoulders sagged. It was a sobering thought. It wasn't just possible that Starlight would leave Ponyville eventually; it was a certainty, but she was quick to pull herself back. Starlight wasn't the focus of the question, nor was the future too healthy to think about, at least not now. Besides, it wasn't the first time it had crossed her mind. "Why are you telling me all of this?" she asked.

"Stagnation is a cancer." Celestia spoke sternly. Twilight's ears perked up. "It's subtle, it's infectious, and, most of all, addictive." The older princess leaned forward. The air seemed to quake. "Be wary of it."

Twilight froze as she opened her mouth to speak. This was supposed to be the simplest of afternoon get-togethers. Instead, it had transformed into a veritable test of fortitude, a storm of questions with far-reaching answers, whirling through the air at hurricane speeds.

"I think I understand..." mumbled Twilight airily, carefully lowering her teacup to the table. Strangely, she wasn't in the mood to drink anymore.

Celestia slid off her chair, depositing her teacup onto the table in turn. "Walk with me, Twilight. It's better that we discuss this over some lunch."

Author's Note

I haven't written a truly short story in a while, and conditioning myself to write more in less time seemed like the perfect excuse to make one.

So, instead of something cheerful, here's a little something for all you mid-life crisis folks out there.

Thanks for reading!