Shell Shockedby Coolguy362ChaptersPrologueDamn it DiscordAn unexpected rainbow pony!Everypony in Ponyville is a bitch.Meeting with a book horse!PrologueCold. That's how I felt. Cold. All I could see was red. I was in water. Salty, bloody water. A hand reaches out and grabs me. "Sarge?! You okay sir?", Said a young soldier from my platoon. Yes, a platoon! I was in the Marines. "Yes." I sputtered in between coughs. "I'm fine. But we have a job to do and you know it." "Yes sir!" The young private said.It was then I took in the horror before me. Bodies everywhere. Some had wounds from bullets and some from shrapnel. Blood everywhere, arms and legs scattered across the beach. Some men where screaming for there mother's and some were to shocked to do any thing. I wanted to be sick. "My God.", I muttered under my breath. "What do we do Sarge?!" The private asked, a look simular to mine on his face. "What? Oh well we have to punch a hole in that barbed wire up there." I pointed forward to where, about one hundred yards ahead, was a big line of barbed wire. "We'll use grenades to blow it to hell. Then, we proceed to the cliffs, which we will climb via rope. Once we're up, we'll take out the German artillery, and await further orders. Got that?" The young man nodded. "Good." I said with a smirk. "Now let's give these krauts a kick in the ass shall we?" "YEAH" The soldiers who heard me said loudly. "THEN LETS MOVE!" I shouted. We ran out of the crater we were hiding in and sprinted up the beach. A few of us were shot as soon as we got up, but for the most part we got to the wire safely. "Put get some grenades under that barbed wire NOW", I said. The soldiers didn't need to be told twice, so two of them pulled the pin on some frag grenades and set them down beneath the wire. "GET TO COVER!" One shouted and hid where the rest of us were, closely followed by the other. About a second later, the grenades exploded, leaving a hole in the wire. Me and the other soldiers advanced, about 5 of us being shredded by machine gun fire. The remaining 19 of us made it to the cliffs and waited for the promised grappling ropes from the ships behind us. About 2 minutes of prayers and small talk later, the hooks attached them selves to the tops of the cliff. "ALRIGHT, GET UP THERE BEFORE JERRY CUTS THE ROPE!" I said as I started climbing. We got up there in about 2 minutes and opened fire on the Germans. We where doing well, with only 2 of us being killed. Once we cleared the area, we advanced to the artillery area and started clearing out the area of German troops. It was going well until a stray bullet hit me in the arm. "AHH I'M HIT!", I said as I fell to the ground. My arm felt like it was an fire. It was like getting burned and stabbed at the same time. "I NEED A MEDIC!" I said with a tremor in my voice. Fortunately there was one near by, who injected me with morphine and went to work on my arm. Though the morphine helped, it still hurt a lot when he dug the bullet out of my arm. But my luck ran out when the medic was nailed in the face by a bullet. Drowsy from the morphine, I picked up my gun, a PPSh, and tried to defend myself from the Germans. It was then that I was hit in the chest by a German machine gun. I fell on my back, trying to get air into my punctured lung. I was choking on my own blood. My vision was getting dark and blurry. I tried to call for help, but blood was quickly going into my wind pipe. Then everything went dark. I woke up in a forest. I sat up, and all the sudden, everything came flooding back to me. I was supposed to be dead. I was contemplating my life choices when I heard a growl. I stood up and drew my weapon. Wherever I was, I needed to get out, and fast. I ran away into the trees and out of sight. When I thought I was far enough away, I slowed to a walk. "Where the hell am I?", I thought. "I'm supposed to be d-", I was interrupted by a pack of.... wolves made of wood jumping out of the bushes. "WHAT THE FUCK?!", I screamed out loud. Before I could draw my weapon, one of the 6 wolves that was there bit on to my leg, it's teeth sinking into my flesh. I let out a scream and drew my pistol. I shot the one on on my leg, only for another to jump on my chest. The wolf tore into my shirt and bit me in the chest. I beat him over the head with my pistol until it let go and shot him, causing the wolf to explode into a cluster of twigs and thorns. Before another could attack, I shot the remaining four, causing them to join there comrades. I ran until I thought I was safe and slowed to a limp. I knew that my wounds where serious and needed medical attention, but I didn't know where to get it. So I decided on on a direction, and limped until I could find civilization. Then I ran into something that made me want to faint. It was a lizard with 9 heads. It threw me into a tree, causing me to hit my head. I shot one of it's heads but two more sprouted in it's place. So I ran, and it gave chase. It tried to bite me several times, but I was to fast. I started to give out, when I guess it got bored and ran off. And so I continued walking until I finally reached the edge of the forest. It was there I saw a little cottage. I barely had the strength to knock on the door before I passed out.... Author's Note And so I leave you. This is my very first story, so I hope you guys enjoy. I would like constructive criticism please đ. Damn it DiscordâFluttershy, this tea is delicious!â Discord said with a smile.âIt may even be the best youâve made.â âOh Discord youâre too kind.â Fluttershy said with a chuckle. âWhile I am probably the most kind drachuanichus in the world, it is no exaggeration. What kind of tea is it?â The drachuanichus asked. âRaspberry.â, The timid pony said. âI picked them myself.â She said with pride. âDid you try the cookies ye-â Fluttershy was cut off by a knock on the door. âIâll get it!â, Discord said. He opened the door to see what looked like a hairless monkey with no tail. âUmmm, Fluttershy, you should see this.â Discord said with a frown. âIt may be one of youâre animals.â âComing!â, The shy mare said with a confused look on her face. What would one of her animals be doing at the door? When she got to the door, she saw the unconscious human in her door step and nearly jumped out of her skin. âMy goodness!â The timid mare exclaimed. âIt looks hurt Discord. I think we should bring it inside.â âMaybe, but what if itâs dangerous. It may hurt you!â Discord said with a worried look. âBesides, it doesnât look like itâs from around here.â Fluttershy put on her best puppy dog eyes and said âPlease Discord. For me?â She said. Discord, who was feeling very guilty at the moment, finally agreed to let the strange creature in. âBut if it hurts a hair on youâre main, I teleport it to the nearest termite nest.â Fluttershy made a mental note to stop Discord from doing this if it came down to it âOkay then.â, Fluttershy said. âCan you help me carry him in?â, She said sheepishly. âUuugh fine.â Discord said. He snapped his finger and the human appeared on the table that the tea party was formerly on. âOkay, first things first.â The timid mare said, âI need something to clean his wounds.â She said, assuming the creature was male. She got a bottle of rubbing alcohol and put some on a towel. After she cleaned the wounds, she bandeged them, including the one on his head. All the while, a certain drachuanichus was whistling the smile song in the background. âOkay, all done!â, Fluttershy said with a smile. She then carried him into her room and covered him up. Then she went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water for when he woke up. When she was done with this, she went back down stairs where Discord was waiting. âNow.â He said, âShall we continue.â I woke up in a bed. It was something I hadnât felt in months. I didnât want to get up until I remembered what had happened a few hours before. âSomeone must have taken me in and fixed me up.â I Thought. I got out of bed and noticed the glass of water by the bed. I drank it greedily, since I hadnât drank any thing since I was in my landing craft. It was then I heard muffled voices down stairs. I couldnât here what they were saying, but I could tell one was male and one was female. I quietly made my way down to stairs when I saw who the voices belonged to. One was a pony with a pink mane and light yellow coat. The other was....letâs just say a mish-mash of different animals. âWhat...the...hell.â I said, trying not to faint again, "Am i going crazy from lack of blood or is this some wierd dream about a horse and....whatever you are. "My goodness....you can talk.", Fluttershy said with a slight tremor in her voice. "Yes....I'm just as surprised that you can.", I said. "Sorry to interrupt this amazing chaos, but who and what are you?" Discord interrupted. "Ashton Cole and I'm a human. And who and what are you two.", I asked. "I'm discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. And this is Fluttershy. I'm a drachuanichis and she is a pony not a horse." Discord said with a sneer. "I can tell whe're gonna get along just fine Discord." I said sarcastically. "Now second question. Where am I, as in country." "Equestria.", Fluttershy said "The most friendly country in the world." "......" "Ummmm did you break him Fluttershy?" Discord asked with mock curiosity. "No.....I'm just very, VERY confused about this whole thing." I said "So is everyone a pony in this country?", I asked, linking Equestria with ponies. "Mostly.", Fluttershy said. "Can you take me to the nearest town. I need to see this for myself.", I said. "That would be Ponyville." Discord said. "Ponyville?", I said with a look of 'Oh my god its a horse pun' on my face,"Christus auf einem Fahrrad, das nach Berlin reitet" "Umm excuse me?" Fluttershy said. "Different language. Sorry." I said sheepishly. "Well we should get to town now, I guess" Discord said. "Right.....But I'm starving, so can i get something to eat first.", I said with hopeful eyes. "We can get something on the way to town." Fluttershy said "By the way, what do you eat?" Fluttershy asked. "Well I'm an omnivore, so I eat plants and meat.", I said, unaware of the fear I would cause Fluttershy. "You eat other animals?!", Fluttershy shy asked with a horrified look on her face. "Yes but I don't intend to eat you. I'm not Chinese" I said. I laughed at my own bad joke, and then I looked at the two in front of me, seeing that they didn't get it. "Look, the point is that I won't eat any body." I said with a sigh. "You mean everypony." Discord said. "Oh Christ, that's a pun to?! Okay nevermind, yes everypony." I said. "Okay I think we should go now." Fluttershy said. "Good idea." I said, afraid i would strangle Discord. And so we went walking (Discord floating) along the path from Fluttershy's house to Ponyville. At that time I was unaware of the cyan and rainbow colored blur heading straight for me.... Author's Note Woooo another chapter in the books (pun intended). Probably butchered the spelling of drachuanichis but screw it. I'll try to have the next chapter out by next week. Until then, coolguy, out. (The part were i spoke a different language was german btw.) An unexpected rainbow pony!It was like any other day for Rainbow Dash. She woke up, ate breakfast, and attended to her weather duties. After that it was very boring for her. She had nothing to do! "Uuuuugh!" Rainbow groned out loud, "So bored! But where to go when you're bored?" The cyan pegasus said. "I can pull some pranks! No i did that yesterday. I could go to Pinkies! No, i don't want to bake anything today." Rainbow Dash thought. Then it struck her. No literally it struck her. A butterfly hit her in the face while she was flying and not paying attention. "I COULD GO TO FLUTTETSHY'S!" Dash said triumphantly. Quickly, she raced to the shy mare's cottage. Then she saw her walking with Discord and some other...."thing". Her first thought was that Discord was trying to play a trick on Fluttershy. But then she realised that he would never do that to his wifu. "IS THAT THING GOING TO HURT FLUTTERSHY.....and Discord!" She thought' "Well not on this pony's watch." She then attacked the place of his body that didn't seem to be covered in muscles..... Meanwhile, on the ground....... I walked on the path leading to Ponyville....and food. We were about 5 minutes away from Fluttershy's cottage when i saw something out of the corner of my eye. Before I could react, I felt a very sharp pain in my groin "AHHHHHHH!!" I screamed, my voice raiseing a couple of octives. "YES!! I GOT HIM!" A rainbow maned pegasus said before i couldn't here any thing at all. I felt bile rise in my throat. And here I thought I had a cast iron stomach aftet that ride on the landing craft. But nope. I puked up any of the remaining food I had in my gut. After about 2 minutes of pukeing the slop the cooks (if you want to call them that) fed me, I started to hear what the ponies in front of me were saying. "Dude, you okay" Asked the bitch that hit me. "Oh I've had worst," I growled, "Hey Discord, can you do me a favor and hold my arms for me?" I asked politely. "Ummm sure, but why?" He asked. "Oh you'll see" I said with a smirk. With that Discord took hold of the my arms. I to a deep breath and, mustering all the curse words i could think of, said "YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, I'M GOING TO PULL THAT RAINBOW MISH-MASH YOU CALL A MAIN RIGHT OUT OF YOU SKULL AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!! YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU FILTHY SLUT I'LL TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH ME!!" All the while with me pulling at Discord's restraints. I was catching my breath, with everypony (and Discord) starring at me with stuned expressions on there face. Poor Fluttershy looked like she was about to cry. "Dude.....what's you're problem?" Rainbow bitch said. "My problem.....MY PROBLEM?! MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE DICK ASS WIPE!!" I screamed. "You're....what?" Big blue asked. "MY PENIS!" I yelled. "Oh.....OH. Well....you didn't have to say all those awful things to me." Dick butt said. "AND WHAT IF I RAMED MY FOOT INTO YOU OVARIES, HUH?!" I said, in a blind rage. "....." "Thats what I thought. Pull that shit again and i do all mentioned things I said i would do. Got it?" I sneered. She noded dully, still a little stuned. "Good. Now....I apologize." I said, softening a bit. "What?!" Rainbow asked, stunned. "Well I guess I said a few things I'm not proud of....don't take this as a friend request." I said. "Apology excepted?" She said. "Good. But now that the only food that was in my gut is in a puddle on the ground, and if I don't get something in me soon I'll get grouchy. And trust me, you don't want to se THAT side of me. So....shall we." "O-Okay," Fluttershy piped up. "Okay then let's get moving," I said. And we then went to the local dinner, like the characters from the Wizard of Oz, exept not as happy go lucky. Little did i know, the dinner was owned by the worst kind of pony.... a unicorn supremacist. We walked into the little dinner, me even more hungry than I was after pukeing up any food I had eaten. I noticed I was getting looks of 'The fuck is that thing?', from the customers and workers. One unicorn gave me a particularity..... How do I put this? 'oh god kill it!' That particular unicorn walked up to me and said "Excuse me, but we do not allow pets in this dinner." He said, a look of disgust on his face. "I'm no pet buddy. I'm a human." I put out my hand for him to shake. He recoiled and said "Get away from me you brute. You need to be put in a cage somewhere." He chuckled at his own bad joke. "That's not very nice." Fluttershy said with a frown. "Oh I'm sorry, did I offended you." "Yes you did. Now apologise right now." Fluttershy said with a stern look on her face. "Oh or what? You'll talk me to death." He said, with the most shit eating grin I've ever seen in my life. "No. I'll transform you into a base ball, and score a home run." Discord chimed in. "O-oh. Discord. Didn't see you there. I apologise Mr Ho-man." He said with a terrified look on his face. "It's fine." I said with a smile. He began to trot away, when i just heard him say "Mindless ape." Under his breath. "Hey I heard that!" I said. "And I hope you did you stupid fool!" I then proceeded to throw him into a wall, noticing how light these ponys are. I returned to my booth, where Rainbow Dash was about to loose her shit laughing. "OH MY CELESTIA, I CANT BREATH." She said between laughter. Even Discord and Fluttershy seemed amused. "Yes, it was pretty funny." Discord said. "Yeah. That meanie deserved it." Fluttershy said. "Well, it wasn't that great. But it wad pretty great." While I said this, I looked at the menu. He ordered a salad with blue chesse dressing and a water. After I fnished my salad, we all walked out of the dinner. I asked Fluttershy where we should go next. She said "I think we should go to Ponyville and meet some more of my friends." She said with a smile. And so we went in the direction of Ponyville, and I questioned who we were going to meet next...... Author's Note Another one...Another one. I have to say, this is probably my favorite chapter so far. The only thing I have say is that this storry takes place between seasons 6 and 7 so no star swirl and shit. (What are you talkin about i forgot to put that in the description of the story.) Everypony in Ponyville is a bitch.Our group continued on to Ponyville. It was pretty boring, so I guess Rainbow Dash, being the pony that she is, asked an question that had been on her mind for a while. "So Ashton, how'd you get here?" Rainbow asked. "Yes. I've been wondering that ass well. I just didn't want to pry." Fluttershy said with smile. "I'd....rather not talk about it." I mumbled with a dark look on my face. "Come on! It can't be that bad! What are you chicken?" "No I'm not. I'll tell ya then. But don't say I didn't warn you." I moved to the side of the path and sat on a log. "Okay. You don't know this, but I was part of the Marines on my world. Marines are basically a mix of all all branches of the millitary. We were on a mission. Take back France from the Nazis. To do this, we had to take a beach head on the coastline of Normandy. I almost made it to the end when I was nailed in the chest by a machine gun. I guess died on my world and came back on this one." By this time I had tears running down my cheeks. I also thought of how my brother and grandfather would react to me dying. "Dude....I never knew that you went through that. I'm sorry for being a jerk." She said. Everypony, even Discord, looked sad. Fluttershy once again looked like she was about to cry. Discord thankfully changed the subject. "Well I think we should all stop being so depressed and get heading back to Ponyville now." "Agreed." I said, wanting to leave as soon as possible. And so we continued on our way to Ponyville. We were like a squad in the Marines. Exeped we didn't go on missions resulting in one or more of us being killed. The first thing I noticed was how....how do I put this? Fairy tale-ish. And from what i could tell, the Ponys there looked like background characters from one of those comic books my brother always tryed to get me to read. I also noticed that the ponys there were pussies. "AHHHHHH!!! MONSTER!!!" Said a creme coloured pony with a rose red mane. "DON'T WORRY, AH GOT HIM" Said an orange pony with a blond mane and southern accent. She then proceeded to kick me in the shin. "SHIT!! WHY DOSE EVERYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD TRY TO KILL ME?!" I said as I fell to the ground. "Wait, you can talk talk?" She said, a confused look on her face. "Yes. And I'm not a monster. I'm a human." "Well.....do ya intend to hurt anypony?" She said, still on her highest guard. "No he doesn't Applejack. Now you should apologise right now." Fluttershy said sternly. "B-but....." She sighed "Ahm sorry." Applejack said. "It's fine. I just hope ya didn't break anything." I stood up. "Nope, I'm fine." I then looked around to see eveypony had gone into they're house's. "It looks like everypony else didn't get the 'I'm not a monster' thing." I said with a sigh. "Oh, that's fine dude. They did the exact same thing to my friend Zecora when she came here, and now everypony in Ponyville is her friend. I'm sure they'll lighten up to you eventualy." Rainbow said. "I sure hope so." I said with a frown. "So, who should we terrify next?" Discord said, a mischievous grin on his face. "I think we should se Twilight." Fluttershy said. "Good idea." Rainbow Dash said "She's a level headed pony, so she should understand that if you're with us, then you're safe." She said confidently. "So, were dose Twilight live?" I asked. "In the big castle." Discord said, pointing to the big crystal tree house that looked like it was meant to be a toy for little girls. "Oh.Didn't notice that before...somehow." And so we went on the trail to Twilight's house, hoping Twilight wouldn't me like everypony else seems to. When we got to Twilight house, (more like a catle) I noticed how tall it was. It loomed over us like a skyscraper or something back on my world. I knocked on the door, and about a minutes later, a purple dragon came out. "Oh. Hi Fluttershy. Hello Discord, and hi Rainbow Dash." The dragon said. At this point, I had seen to many strange creatures to question why there was a dragon in front of me, so I just went with it. "Is this a new pet if yours Fluttershy?" He asked "No." I responded simply. "Y-you can talk?" The dragon asked. "No, you're on LSD- OF COURSE I CAN TALK." I said, geting very annoyed with everypony thinking I'm an animal. "I'm Ashton. Whats yours?" "S-spike." He said. "Do you know were Twilight is?" "Yes, she's in here. Follow me." And so I followed Spike into the casle. It was very spacious and it seemed like one of those murder hotels, but I wasn't thinking that at the moment. "Twilight is in this room here. She's studying, so try not to startle her. It wasn't pretty last time somepony startled her while she was studying." He shuddered, most likely recalling a very un-happy experience. "Noted." I said. I was a bit nervous, but I opened the door and stepped inside.... Author's Note It may have been awhile, but i updated the story. I'm not going to say 'Oh I'm so sorry that I'm late, let me suck you off to make it better'. Nope.....just ganna post the chapter. Meeting with a book horse!I opened the door to Twilight's bed room and found her, as expeted, studying. I hesitantly walked over to her and said "Um, miss Twilight? Can I speak to you." The vilot pony turned around and then proceeded to try to shoot me with her magic. I luckily got out of the way in time, but a couch that was behind her wasn't so lucky. It was now sporting a hole in the middle of it. "WHAT THE HELL?! I JUST WANT TO TALK!" I screamed. "You can ta-" "Yes I can talk! Is that a theme here or something? To ask everything that you ponys don't know about if it can talk?" "N-no. You're just so....fascinating!" She smiled like she just found 20 dollars laying on the ground. "You walk on two legs, but you're not half bull so you're not a minitor. You don't have fur, so you're not a yeti. And you're not short, so you're not a troll! What are you?!" "Well I'm a human. I'm pretty sure I come from another world because-" "AND YOU'RE AND ALIEN?!" She said, cutting me off. "I need to get this information to princess Celestia fast!" She said. She went off into the next room to write what she found in a notebook. Just then, the pony who is now my mortal frinemy came out. Starlight Glimmer. Better know as unicorn Joseph Stalin. "MONSTER!! DON'T WORY TWILIGHT I'LL GET HIM!!" She then grabbed me with her telekinesis and slammed me into a wall, which should have killed me, but I have plot armo- I MEEN THIS IS MAGICAL PONY LAND WHERE EVERTHING GOSE!! But anyways, I was knocked out for the second time since I entered magic pony land.... I woke up on a couch. Once my vision was clear, I could see that Starlight was tending to the head trama she gave me. I sat bolt up. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BLAST ME WITH MAGIC?!" I shouted. I also wanted to know not in a hospital, but I guess I never got to that. "I thought you were a threat. You should be lucky I didn't kill you." "While I have been lucky things didn't kill me before I got to this shit hole, I'm still not used to ALMOST BEING KILLED BY MAGIC HORSES!!" it was becoming very clear to me that these ponys don't care about my well being. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm not a horse by the way." "I am aware of this." I said "I said that to make you feel bad." "Oh....well that's kind of racist and mean." "I was going for mean, but racist? How?" I asked. "Well, there are horses aside from us ponies. Kind of like donkeys and dragons." Starlight said. "Okay, thanks for the lesson on races and shit, but I need to talk to Twilight." And with that, I left the room before Starlight could say anything else. I continued on around the castle until I finally found Twilghts bedroom. "Hey Twilight. I nees to ask you something." "Yes ummm...." "Ashton." I said flatly. "Right! What is it that you want to ask me." she said with a smile. "Well...I want to know if you can send me home." I said, taking on a serious tone. "Well....it's complicated. I don't really know if I can send you home. But what I can do is contact the princesses and see if they can help." "That'll have to do." I said. "Hey, do you have a bar here in Ponyville?" "Yes. It's on the other other side of town behind town hall." she said. "Thanks!" I raced out of the castle, and to said bar and drank for about an hour. I then drunkenly made my way to to the local park and fell asleep on a bench. I woke up the next day to find what looked like a pink blob looming over me. When my vision cleared, I found that pink blob to be a pink pony. "Hi!" she said "AHH!" I responded, and jumped off the bench. Then I realized I was not in some sort of dream and that I was in magical pony world. "I've never seen you before! Are you new here?" she asked. "Oh no, I've been here for years- OF COURSE I'M NEW HERE!!" I yelled. "OHMYCELESTIAYOU'RENEWHEREANDIHAVEN'TTHROWN YOUAPARTY?!" she asked. "Excuse me?" I asked. Is it possible for anything to talk like that? "I said." she took in a deep breath. "OH MY CELESTIA YOU'RE NEW HERE AND I HAVEN'T THROWN YOU A PARTY?!" After my ears stopped ringing, I said "What do you mean by 'party'?" "And you don't know what a party is? I need to get you a party right away! By the way what is you're name?" "It's Ashton. And I know what a party is. I am a fan of partys even! But I haven't had one in years." It was true. The last time I had had a party was when my family threw me a good bye party before I left for the Marines. "Aww. That's sad. But I'll make sure to make this the best party of you're life!" And so she was off. No really, she fucking teleported basically. I won't question how she dis it. Everything in this world seems to give physics the middle finger anyways. I honestly don't give a fuck anymore.... Author's Note Another chapter done! Happy new years btw. I hope everyone has a good time with family! Thanks for reading!
PrologueCold. That's how I felt. Cold. All I could see was red. I was in water. Salty, bloody water. A hand reaches out and grabs me. "Sarge?! You okay sir?", Said a young soldier from my platoon. Yes, a platoon! I was in the Marines. "Yes." I sputtered in between coughs. "I'm fine. But we have a job to do and you know it." "Yes sir!" The young private said.It was then I took in the horror before me. Bodies everywhere. Some had wounds from bullets and some from shrapnel. Blood everywhere, arms and legs scattered across the beach. Some men where screaming for there mother's and some were to shocked to do any thing. I wanted to be sick. "My God.", I muttered under my breath. "What do we do Sarge?!" The private asked, a look simular to mine on his face. "What? Oh well we have to punch a hole in that barbed wire up there." I pointed forward to where, about one hundred yards ahead, was a big line of barbed wire. "We'll use grenades to blow it to hell. Then, we proceed to the cliffs, which we will climb via rope. Once we're up, we'll take out the German artillery, and await further orders. Got that?" The young man nodded. "Good." I said with a smirk. "Now let's give these krauts a kick in the ass shall we?" "YEAH" The soldiers who heard me said loudly. "THEN LETS MOVE!" I shouted. We ran out of the crater we were hiding in and sprinted up the beach. A few of us were shot as soon as we got up, but for the most part we got to the wire safely. "Put get some grenades under that barbed wire NOW", I said. The soldiers didn't need to be told twice, so two of them pulled the pin on some frag grenades and set them down beneath the wire. "GET TO COVER!" One shouted and hid where the rest of us were, closely followed by the other. About a second later, the grenades exploded, leaving a hole in the wire. Me and the other soldiers advanced, about 5 of us being shredded by machine gun fire. The remaining 19 of us made it to the cliffs and waited for the promised grappling ropes from the ships behind us. About 2 minutes of prayers and small talk later, the hooks attached them selves to the tops of the cliff. "ALRIGHT, GET UP THERE BEFORE JERRY CUTS THE ROPE!" I said as I started climbing. We got up there in about 2 minutes and opened fire on the Germans. We where doing well, with only 2 of us being killed. Once we cleared the area, we advanced to the artillery area and started clearing out the area of German troops. It was going well until a stray bullet hit me in the arm. "AHH I'M HIT!", I said as I fell to the ground. My arm felt like it was an fire. It was like getting burned and stabbed at the same time. "I NEED A MEDIC!" I said with a tremor in my voice. Fortunately there was one near by, who injected me with morphine and went to work on my arm. Though the morphine helped, it still hurt a lot when he dug the bullet out of my arm. But my luck ran out when the medic was nailed in the face by a bullet. Drowsy from the morphine, I picked up my gun, a PPSh, and tried to defend myself from the Germans. It was then that I was hit in the chest by a German machine gun. I fell on my back, trying to get air into my punctured lung. I was choking on my own blood. My vision was getting dark and blurry. I tried to call for help, but blood was quickly going into my wind pipe. Then everything went dark. I woke up in a forest. I sat up, and all the sudden, everything came flooding back to me. I was supposed to be dead. I was contemplating my life choices when I heard a growl. I stood up and drew my weapon. Wherever I was, I needed to get out, and fast. I ran away into the trees and out of sight. When I thought I was far enough away, I slowed to a walk. "Where the hell am I?", I thought. "I'm supposed to be d-", I was interrupted by a pack of.... wolves made of wood jumping out of the bushes. "WHAT THE FUCK?!", I screamed out loud. Before I could draw my weapon, one of the 6 wolves that was there bit on to my leg, it's teeth sinking into my flesh. I let out a scream and drew my pistol. I shot the one on on my leg, only for another to jump on my chest. The wolf tore into my shirt and bit me in the chest. I beat him over the head with my pistol until it let go and shot him, causing the wolf to explode into a cluster of twigs and thorns. Before another could attack, I shot the remaining four, causing them to join there comrades. I ran until I thought I was safe and slowed to a limp. I knew that my wounds where serious and needed medical attention, but I didn't know where to get it. So I decided on on a direction, and limped until I could find civilization. Then I ran into something that made me want to faint. It was a lizard with 9 heads. It threw me into a tree, causing me to hit my head. I shot one of it's heads but two more sprouted in it's place. So I ran, and it gave chase. It tried to bite me several times, but I was to fast. I started to give out, when I guess it got bored and ran off. And so I continued walking until I finally reached the edge of the forest. It was there I saw a little cottage. I barely had the strength to knock on the door before I passed out.... Author's Note And so I leave you. This is my very first story, so I hope you guys enjoy. I would like constructive criticism please đ.
Damn it DiscordâFluttershy, this tea is delicious!â Discord said with a smile.âIt may even be the best youâve made.â âOh Discord youâre too kind.â Fluttershy said with a chuckle. âWhile I am probably the most kind drachuanichus in the world, it is no exaggeration. What kind of tea is it?â The drachuanichus asked. âRaspberry.â, The timid pony said. âI picked them myself.â She said with pride. âDid you try the cookies ye-â Fluttershy was cut off by a knock on the door. âIâll get it!â, Discord said. He opened the door to see what looked like a hairless monkey with no tail. âUmmm, Fluttershy, you should see this.â Discord said with a frown. âIt may be one of youâre animals.â âComing!â, The shy mare said with a confused look on her face. What would one of her animals be doing at the door? When she got to the door, she saw the unconscious human in her door step and nearly jumped out of her skin. âMy goodness!â The timid mare exclaimed. âIt looks hurt Discord. I think we should bring it inside.â âMaybe, but what if itâs dangerous. It may hurt you!â Discord said with a worried look. âBesides, it doesnât look like itâs from around here.â Fluttershy put on her best puppy dog eyes and said âPlease Discord. For me?â She said. Discord, who was feeling very guilty at the moment, finally agreed to let the strange creature in. âBut if it hurts a hair on youâre main, I teleport it to the nearest termite nest.â Fluttershy made a mental note to stop Discord from doing this if it came down to it âOkay then.â, Fluttershy said. âCan you help me carry him in?â, She said sheepishly. âUuugh fine.â Discord said. He snapped his finger and the human appeared on the table that the tea party was formerly on. âOkay, first things first.â The timid mare said, âI need something to clean his wounds.â She said, assuming the creature was male. She got a bottle of rubbing alcohol and put some on a towel. After she cleaned the wounds, she bandeged them, including the one on his head. All the while, a certain drachuanichus was whistling the smile song in the background. âOkay, all done!â, Fluttershy said with a smile. She then carried him into her room and covered him up. Then she went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water for when he woke up. When she was done with this, she went back down stairs where Discord was waiting. âNow.â He said, âShall we continue.â I woke up in a bed. It was something I hadnât felt in months. I didnât want to get up until I remembered what had happened a few hours before. âSomeone must have taken me in and fixed me up.â I Thought. I got out of bed and noticed the glass of water by the bed. I drank it greedily, since I hadnât drank any thing since I was in my landing craft. It was then I heard muffled voices down stairs. I couldnât here what they were saying, but I could tell one was male and one was female. I quietly made my way down to stairs when I saw who the voices belonged to. One was a pony with a pink mane and light yellow coat. The other was....letâs just say a mish-mash of different animals. âWhat...the...hell.â I said, trying not to faint again, "Am i going crazy from lack of blood or is this some wierd dream about a horse and....whatever you are. "My goodness....you can talk.", Fluttershy said with a slight tremor in her voice. "Yes....I'm just as surprised that you can.", I said. "Sorry to interrupt this amazing chaos, but who and what are you?" Discord interrupted. "Ashton Cole and I'm a human. And who and what are you two.", I asked. "I'm discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. And this is Fluttershy. I'm a drachuanichis and she is a pony not a horse." Discord said with a sneer. "I can tell whe're gonna get along just fine Discord." I said sarcastically. "Now second question. Where am I, as in country." "Equestria.", Fluttershy said "The most friendly country in the world." "......" "Ummmm did you break him Fluttershy?" Discord asked with mock curiosity. "No.....I'm just very, VERY confused about this whole thing." I said "So is everyone a pony in this country?", I asked, linking Equestria with ponies. "Mostly.", Fluttershy said. "Can you take me to the nearest town. I need to see this for myself.", I said. "That would be Ponyville." Discord said. "Ponyville?", I said with a look of 'Oh my god its a horse pun' on my face,"Christus auf einem Fahrrad, das nach Berlin reitet" "Umm excuse me?" Fluttershy said. "Different language. Sorry." I said sheepishly. "Well we should get to town now, I guess" Discord said. "Right.....But I'm starving, so can i get something to eat first.", I said with hopeful eyes. "We can get something on the way to town." Fluttershy said "By the way, what do you eat?" Fluttershy asked. "Well I'm an omnivore, so I eat plants and meat.", I said, unaware of the fear I would cause Fluttershy. "You eat other animals?!", Fluttershy shy asked with a horrified look on her face. "Yes but I don't intend to eat you. I'm not Chinese" I said. I laughed at my own bad joke, and then I looked at the two in front of me, seeing that they didn't get it. "Look, the point is that I won't eat any body." I said with a sigh. "You mean everypony." Discord said. "Oh Christ, that's a pun to?! Okay nevermind, yes everypony." I said. "Okay I think we should go now." Fluttershy said. "Good idea." I said, afraid i would strangle Discord. And so we went walking (Discord floating) along the path from Fluttershy's house to Ponyville. At that time I was unaware of the cyan and rainbow colored blur heading straight for me.... Author's Note Woooo another chapter in the books (pun intended). Probably butchered the spelling of drachuanichis but screw it. I'll try to have the next chapter out by next week. Until then, coolguy, out. (The part were i spoke a different language was german btw.)
An unexpected rainbow pony!It was like any other day for Rainbow Dash. She woke up, ate breakfast, and attended to her weather duties. After that it was very boring for her. She had nothing to do! "Uuuuugh!" Rainbow groned out loud, "So bored! But where to go when you're bored?" The cyan pegasus said. "I can pull some pranks! No i did that yesterday. I could go to Pinkies! No, i don't want to bake anything today." Rainbow Dash thought. Then it struck her. No literally it struck her. A butterfly hit her in the face while she was flying and not paying attention. "I COULD GO TO FLUTTETSHY'S!" Dash said triumphantly. Quickly, she raced to the shy mare's cottage. Then she saw her walking with Discord and some other...."thing". Her first thought was that Discord was trying to play a trick on Fluttershy. But then she realised that he would never do that to his wifu. "IS THAT THING GOING TO HURT FLUTTERSHY.....and Discord!" She thought' "Well not on this pony's watch." She then attacked the place of his body that didn't seem to be covered in muscles..... Meanwhile, on the ground....... I walked on the path leading to Ponyville....and food. We were about 5 minutes away from Fluttershy's cottage when i saw something out of the corner of my eye. Before I could react, I felt a very sharp pain in my groin "AHHHHHHH!!" I screamed, my voice raiseing a couple of octives. "YES!! I GOT HIM!" A rainbow maned pegasus said before i couldn't here any thing at all. I felt bile rise in my throat. And here I thought I had a cast iron stomach aftet that ride on the landing craft. But nope. I puked up any of the remaining food I had in my gut. After about 2 minutes of pukeing the slop the cooks (if you want to call them that) fed me, I started to hear what the ponies in front of me were saying. "Dude, you okay" Asked the bitch that hit me. "Oh I've had worst," I growled, "Hey Discord, can you do me a favor and hold my arms for me?" I asked politely. "Ummm sure, but why?" He asked. "Oh you'll see" I said with a smirk. With that Discord took hold of the my arms. I to a deep breath and, mustering all the curse words i could think of, said "YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, I'M GOING TO PULL THAT RAINBOW MISH-MASH YOU CALL A MAIN RIGHT OUT OF YOU SKULL AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!! YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU FILTHY SLUT I'LL TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH ME!!" All the while with me pulling at Discord's restraints. I was catching my breath, with everypony (and Discord) starring at me with stuned expressions on there face. Poor Fluttershy looked like she was about to cry. "Dude.....what's you're problem?" Rainbow bitch said. "My problem.....MY PROBLEM?! MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE DICK ASS WIPE!!" I screamed. "You're....what?" Big blue asked. "MY PENIS!" I yelled. "Oh.....OH. Well....you didn't have to say all those awful things to me." Dick butt said. "AND WHAT IF I RAMED MY FOOT INTO YOU OVARIES, HUH?!" I said, in a blind rage. "....." "Thats what I thought. Pull that shit again and i do all mentioned things I said i would do. Got it?" I sneered. She noded dully, still a little stuned. "Good. Now....I apologize." I said, softening a bit. "What?!" Rainbow asked, stunned. "Well I guess I said a few things I'm not proud of....don't take this as a friend request." I said. "Apology excepted?" She said. "Good. But now that the only food that was in my gut is in a puddle on the ground, and if I don't get something in me soon I'll get grouchy. And trust me, you don't want to se THAT side of me. So....shall we." "O-Okay," Fluttershy piped up. "Okay then let's get moving," I said. And we then went to the local dinner, like the characters from the Wizard of Oz, exept not as happy go lucky. Little did i know, the dinner was owned by the worst kind of pony.... a unicorn supremacist. We walked into the little dinner, me even more hungry than I was after pukeing up any food I had eaten. I noticed I was getting looks of 'The fuck is that thing?', from the customers and workers. One unicorn gave me a particularity..... How do I put this? 'oh god kill it!' That particular unicorn walked up to me and said "Excuse me, but we do not allow pets in this dinner." He said, a look of disgust on his face. "I'm no pet buddy. I'm a human." I put out my hand for him to shake. He recoiled and said "Get away from me you brute. You need to be put in a cage somewhere." He chuckled at his own bad joke. "That's not very nice." Fluttershy said with a frown. "Oh I'm sorry, did I offended you." "Yes you did. Now apologise right now." Fluttershy said with a stern look on her face. "Oh or what? You'll talk me to death." He said, with the most shit eating grin I've ever seen in my life. "No. I'll transform you into a base ball, and score a home run." Discord chimed in. "O-oh. Discord. Didn't see you there. I apologise Mr Ho-man." He said with a terrified look on his face. "It's fine." I said with a smile. He began to trot away, when i just heard him say "Mindless ape." Under his breath. "Hey I heard that!" I said. "And I hope you did you stupid fool!" I then proceeded to throw him into a wall, noticing how light these ponys are. I returned to my booth, where Rainbow Dash was about to loose her shit laughing. "OH MY CELESTIA, I CANT BREATH." She said between laughter. Even Discord and Fluttershy seemed amused. "Yes, it was pretty funny." Discord said. "Yeah. That meanie deserved it." Fluttershy said. "Well, it wasn't that great. But it wad pretty great." While I said this, I looked at the menu. He ordered a salad with blue chesse dressing and a water. After I fnished my salad, we all walked out of the dinner. I asked Fluttershy where we should go next. She said "I think we should go to Ponyville and meet some more of my friends." She said with a smile. And so we went in the direction of Ponyville, and I questioned who we were going to meet next...... Author's Note Another one...Another one. I have to say, this is probably my favorite chapter so far. The only thing I have say is that this storry takes place between seasons 6 and 7 so no star swirl and shit. (What are you talkin about i forgot to put that in the description of the story.)
Everypony in Ponyville is a bitch.Our group continued on to Ponyville. It was pretty boring, so I guess Rainbow Dash, being the pony that she is, asked an question that had been on her mind for a while. "So Ashton, how'd you get here?" Rainbow asked. "Yes. I've been wondering that ass well. I just didn't want to pry." Fluttershy said with smile. "I'd....rather not talk about it." I mumbled with a dark look on my face. "Come on! It can't be that bad! What are you chicken?" "No I'm not. I'll tell ya then. But don't say I didn't warn you." I moved to the side of the path and sat on a log. "Okay. You don't know this, but I was part of the Marines on my world. Marines are basically a mix of all all branches of the millitary. We were on a mission. Take back France from the Nazis. To do this, we had to take a beach head on the coastline of Normandy. I almost made it to the end when I was nailed in the chest by a machine gun. I guess died on my world and came back on this one." By this time I had tears running down my cheeks. I also thought of how my brother and grandfather would react to me dying. "Dude....I never knew that you went through that. I'm sorry for being a jerk." She said. Everypony, even Discord, looked sad. Fluttershy once again looked like she was about to cry. Discord thankfully changed the subject. "Well I think we should all stop being so depressed and get heading back to Ponyville now." "Agreed." I said, wanting to leave as soon as possible. And so we continued on our way to Ponyville. We were like a squad in the Marines. Exeped we didn't go on missions resulting in one or more of us being killed. The first thing I noticed was how....how do I put this? Fairy tale-ish. And from what i could tell, the Ponys there looked like background characters from one of those comic books my brother always tryed to get me to read. I also noticed that the ponys there were pussies. "AHHHHHH!!! MONSTER!!!" Said a creme coloured pony with a rose red mane. "DON'T WORRY, AH GOT HIM" Said an orange pony with a blond mane and southern accent. She then proceeded to kick me in the shin. "SHIT!! WHY DOSE EVERYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD TRY TO KILL ME?!" I said as I fell to the ground. "Wait, you can talk talk?" She said, a confused look on her face. "Yes. And I'm not a monster. I'm a human." "Well.....do ya intend to hurt anypony?" She said, still on her highest guard. "No he doesn't Applejack. Now you should apologise right now." Fluttershy said sternly. "B-but....." She sighed "Ahm sorry." Applejack said. "It's fine. I just hope ya didn't break anything." I stood up. "Nope, I'm fine." I then looked around to see eveypony had gone into they're house's. "It looks like everypony else didn't get the 'I'm not a monster' thing." I said with a sigh. "Oh, that's fine dude. They did the exact same thing to my friend Zecora when she came here, and now everypony in Ponyville is her friend. I'm sure they'll lighten up to you eventualy." Rainbow said. "I sure hope so." I said with a frown. "So, who should we terrify next?" Discord said, a mischievous grin on his face. "I think we should se Twilight." Fluttershy said. "Good idea." Rainbow Dash said "She's a level headed pony, so she should understand that if you're with us, then you're safe." She said confidently. "So, were dose Twilight live?" I asked. "In the big castle." Discord said, pointing to the big crystal tree house that looked like it was meant to be a toy for little girls. "Oh.Didn't notice that before...somehow." And so we went on the trail to Twilight's house, hoping Twilight wouldn't me like everypony else seems to. When we got to Twilight house, (more like a catle) I noticed how tall it was. It loomed over us like a skyscraper or something back on my world. I knocked on the door, and about a minutes later, a purple dragon came out. "Oh. Hi Fluttershy. Hello Discord, and hi Rainbow Dash." The dragon said. At this point, I had seen to many strange creatures to question why there was a dragon in front of me, so I just went with it. "Is this a new pet if yours Fluttershy?" He asked "No." I responded simply. "Y-you can talk?" The dragon asked. "No, you're on LSD- OF COURSE I CAN TALK." I said, geting very annoyed with everypony thinking I'm an animal. "I'm Ashton. Whats yours?" "S-spike." He said. "Do you know were Twilight is?" "Yes, she's in here. Follow me." And so I followed Spike into the casle. It was very spacious and it seemed like one of those murder hotels, but I wasn't thinking that at the moment. "Twilight is in this room here. She's studying, so try not to startle her. It wasn't pretty last time somepony startled her while she was studying." He shuddered, most likely recalling a very un-happy experience. "Noted." I said. I was a bit nervous, but I opened the door and stepped inside.... Author's Note It may have been awhile, but i updated the story. I'm not going to say 'Oh I'm so sorry that I'm late, let me suck you off to make it better'. Nope.....just ganna post the chapter.
Meeting with a book horse!I opened the door to Twilight's bed room and found her, as expeted, studying. I hesitantly walked over to her and said "Um, miss Twilight? Can I speak to you." The vilot pony turned around and then proceeded to try to shoot me with her magic. I luckily got out of the way in time, but a couch that was behind her wasn't so lucky. It was now sporting a hole in the middle of it. "WHAT THE HELL?! I JUST WANT TO TALK!" I screamed. "You can ta-" "Yes I can talk! Is that a theme here or something? To ask everything that you ponys don't know about if it can talk?" "N-no. You're just so....fascinating!" She smiled like she just found 20 dollars laying on the ground. "You walk on two legs, but you're not half bull so you're not a minitor. You don't have fur, so you're not a yeti. And you're not short, so you're not a troll! What are you?!" "Well I'm a human. I'm pretty sure I come from another world because-" "AND YOU'RE AND ALIEN?!" She said, cutting me off. "I need to get this information to princess Celestia fast!" She said. She went off into the next room to write what she found in a notebook. Just then, the pony who is now my mortal frinemy came out. Starlight Glimmer. Better know as unicorn Joseph Stalin. "MONSTER!! DON'T WORY TWILIGHT I'LL GET HIM!!" She then grabbed me with her telekinesis and slammed me into a wall, which should have killed me, but I have plot armo- I MEEN THIS IS MAGICAL PONY LAND WHERE EVERTHING GOSE!! But anyways, I was knocked out for the second time since I entered magic pony land.... I woke up on a couch. Once my vision was clear, I could see that Starlight was tending to the head trama she gave me. I sat bolt up. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BLAST ME WITH MAGIC?!" I shouted. I also wanted to know not in a hospital, but I guess I never got to that. "I thought you were a threat. You should be lucky I didn't kill you." "While I have been lucky things didn't kill me before I got to this shit hole, I'm still not used to ALMOST BEING KILLED BY MAGIC HORSES!!" it was becoming very clear to me that these ponys don't care about my well being. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm not a horse by the way." "I am aware of this." I said "I said that to make you feel bad." "Oh....well that's kind of racist and mean." "I was going for mean, but racist? How?" I asked. "Well, there are horses aside from us ponies. Kind of like donkeys and dragons." Starlight said. "Okay, thanks for the lesson on races and shit, but I need to talk to Twilight." And with that, I left the room before Starlight could say anything else. I continued on around the castle until I finally found Twilghts bedroom. "Hey Twilight. I nees to ask you something." "Yes ummm...." "Ashton." I said flatly. "Right! What is it that you want to ask me." she said with a smile. "Well...I want to know if you can send me home." I said, taking on a serious tone. "Well....it's complicated. I don't really know if I can send you home. But what I can do is contact the princesses and see if they can help." "That'll have to do." I said. "Hey, do you have a bar here in Ponyville?" "Yes. It's on the other other side of town behind town hall." she said. "Thanks!" I raced out of the castle, and to said bar and drank for about an hour. I then drunkenly made my way to to the local park and fell asleep on a bench. I woke up the next day to find what looked like a pink blob looming over me. When my vision cleared, I found that pink blob to be a pink pony. "Hi!" she said "AHH!" I responded, and jumped off the bench. Then I realized I was not in some sort of dream and that I was in magical pony world. "I've never seen you before! Are you new here?" she asked. "Oh no, I've been here for years- OF COURSE I'M NEW HERE!!" I yelled. "OHMYCELESTIAYOU'RENEWHEREANDIHAVEN'TTHROWN YOUAPARTY?!" she asked. "Excuse me?" I asked. Is it possible for anything to talk like that? "I said." she took in a deep breath. "OH MY CELESTIA YOU'RE NEW HERE AND I HAVEN'T THROWN YOU A PARTY?!" After my ears stopped ringing, I said "What do you mean by 'party'?" "And you don't know what a party is? I need to get you a party right away! By the way what is you're name?" "It's Ashton. And I know what a party is. I am a fan of partys even! But I haven't had one in years." It was true. The last time I had had a party was when my family threw me a good bye party before I left for the Marines. "Aww. That's sad. But I'll make sure to make this the best party of you're life!" And so she was off. No really, she fucking teleported basically. I won't question how she dis it. Everything in this world seems to give physics the middle finger anyways. I honestly don't give a fuck anymore.... Author's Note Another chapter done! Happy new years btw. I hope everyone has a good time with family! Thanks for reading!
