Memoirs: The Princesses of Equestria

by Nugget

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4890

Despite their royal appearance, The Princesses of Equestria are normal ponies as well.

The life of a princess isn’t easy. Everything you do and say is constantly under the microscope of ponies who aren’t afraid to constantly criticize, denounce, or praise every single thing you do. That’s the life of an Equestrian Princess, full of strife from keeping up a constant Royal Appearance. In the end, they’re normal ponies. Talking about the perspective from the public vs. who they really are, these are the memoirs from the Equestrian Princesses.

Pre-read by link4
Cover Art: "The Royalty" by Unnop64

Published 2017-07-21 21:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-03 19:31:50 UTC

Princess Luna: The Lunar Guard

Princess Luna
"The Lunar Guard"

The night is upon Equestria.

I stand here alone, on a balcony high above the once glistening, golden skyline of Canterlot. Now, it’s only a mere image of my imagination. As I look down upon same skyline as my sister does, the only features I could make out are the dark shapes of buildings below a thin a layer fog. Within those structures, candlelights could be seen slowly, and sparsely dying out with each individual flame. It constantly reminds me, each and every night, that the ponies are going into their peaceful slumbers, resting at ease while I stand ready to perform my duties as a quiet, yet alert nighttime sentinel.

Sigh…

I think I need to admit something personal. To call me a sentinel, a sort of guardian to those who rest when the sun dips below the horizon, feels wrong from my perspective. Those ponies all the time say the words “sentinel” or “guardian,” “protector,” and even “defender” as well, to me as if it was my job or rightful entitlement to be called as such. While I do understand their point of view completely, I believe that it’s further away from the truth of reality.

In the citizen’s eye, I am the prime example of bravery and intelligence when it comes to dealing with the horror and griefs of life itself. When I invade nightmares, I stand firm and tall while ready to successfully fight off and clear the storm(s) within the mental state of one’s mind. Afterwards, I consult the aspiration of one’s own self like a wise mentor while trying to reach the root that caused their personal problem in the first place. Once discovered, I usually talk with them about how to fix or overcome it while leaving behind my thoughts and concerns.

Then I leave the dream and move on to another.

It’s a never ending dream job cycle for me; I find a dream, invade, take over, consult, and then leave them behind with a positive image of me since I was the one to solve their dilemma with my experience. Then that is when the praise would start from their end, thus the terms “guardian,” “protector,” “dream warrior,” and so on would be said to me. Again, while I am thankful for those compliments, I’m not any of those words they describe me as.

I’m just a pony.

I’m not greater than anypony else in Equestria. Sure, I am a princess, but that is just a title, or rank, that I hold along with the job I perform daily. Sure, I am an alicorn, but that doesn’t make me seem better than another pony, pegasus, or unicorn. And sure, I can invade dreams, put on a brave face, and conquer the terrors of nightmares and reality itself, but that doesn’t actually make me brave or be deemed worthy enough to called anything because I just have experience.

To explain, I have been doing this job for countless years. I have been repeating the dream job cycle for so long that nothing seems to faze me anymore when it comes to other pony’s fears. For every single thing you can think as scary, terrifying, alarming, or horrifying, I probably have dealt with it at some time or another in some pony’s mind. Do I hate my job? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I love what I do with a deep, everloving passion, but I just don’t want to be called those titles anymore.

Why? I have fears, terrors, and personal concerns myself. To say that I don’t is nothing but a lie.
That is what makes me a normal pony like them as well. In my mind, to be called something greater than that, like a “warrior,” is to be seen as not having those qualities that make you a normal pony. A “warrior” is fearless, brave, and willing to fight against even the darkest and scariest of adversaries to win and live another day. They are seen as truly being immortal.

That isn’t me.

While my lifespan is endless and magical abilities are above normal unicorns, I will say again that I am still just a pony. I have fears about those who live around me on a daily basis, terrors about my past, and concerns over the ponies of Equestria when I must make my decisions on-the-job. While they may weigh and lie in the back of my head, I know I must keep them there since there is something else I believe to be true.

“Other pony’s problems are always going to be bigger than yours.”

That is what my sister said to me when I was growing up and learning about how to deal with others. Their problems will always be bigger than yours because if they are addressing you about it, then they believe you are capable of solving it. You must be willing to put yourself, your fears, and your own problems away when it comes to helping others.

That is why I think ponies call me a “sentinel,” “guardian,” and or a “warrior” because I can be so selfless and put myself away for the sake of helping them. What I do creates a facade of they see as the true “protector” or “defender.” They believe in it, thinking it’s who I am as a strong princess. However, I know I’m not any of those titles. In reality, as long as I have my own concerns and fears, I will be just a pony like them.

So as I stand here on this balcony, overlooking a sleeping Equestria, don’t think of it as a knight watching over her kingdom she protects with courage and bravery in her heart. Instead, it’s more like a mother making sure her colts and fillies are alright and able to carry on with their lives without troubles because that is how much I care about the ponies of Equestria. I’m just a pony who likes to help others.

“If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man. All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are, the more they are frightened.” - George S. Patton

Princess Celestia: Must Be Nice

Princess Celestia
“Must Be Nice”

Based on the song “Must Be Nice” by Nickelback

“You’re life is soooooo easy.”

“Oh, I bet all you get to do all day is sit around in your castle and be adored!”

“I bet you haven’t worked a day in your life!”

“So what is like having servants do all of your dirty work?!”

“Do you even lift a hoof? Or is that even too much work for you?”

“Your life is such a fairy tale!”

I bet you, the reader, can add more remarks to that list, however it doesn’t matter to me. I, Princess Celestia, have heard it all. From being called “lazy” to “stuck up,” and even “spoiled” or “privileged,” no new comment or term has slipped pass my ears from ponies I deem blind towards what’s actually going on behind the royal veil I developed over the years. In their eyes, I show them only mere perfection, an image of royalty or elite high class society. Your choice.

However, when I step behind that veil, turn in for the night or break away from the crowd of ponies, I lose that image of the “Perfect Princess.” I will occasionally freak out, cuss, throw a fit, or complain about anything related towards what the heck I just experienced. It’s “Unbecoming of a Princess,” but I’m not perfect. No pony in this world is perfect.

So where do I start?

Well, I guess it goes back to every single town hall meeting I have sat through for over two-hundred and fifty years. At first, they were a great way for ponies to meet up with their government officials so both sides can discuss specific issues and politics, in a civil environment, pertaining the Kingdom of Equestria. However, as time went on, it evolved from a conventional meeting to a debate floor, pinning officials, such as me, against the common ponies.

While the issues have varied over time, the attitudes from my fellow equines have remained relatively the same. Some will be nice and polite, trying to simply present their issue with sincerity towards me and my delegates, while other were, well, not polite, or to put into simple terms, rude. To them, they felt like they were entitled to having their issue resolved within a manner they felt was appropriate.

Oh, how I laugh at them for being so naive.

Of course I don’t do it in front of them, but in my head I’m uncontrollably giggling at them. I mean, their attitudes are quite amusing and bewildering at the same time. They seem to always think it’s smart to yell at their leaders over what they call an urgent matter. It seems doing so would get their problem resolved sooner or their message across clearer. However, they couldn’t be any more further away from the truth. Instead, their disrespectful attitude will usually end up getting them kicked out of the town hall or worse, depending upon what was said.

Oh, in case you were wondering, yes, I have thrown some ponies in jail for “Disrespecting the Crown or an Elected Official under Royal Court Rules.”

It has happened several times, and I don’t see it ending soon as well. On the other hoof, I sometimes understand their side of the issue as well. Some of them suffer from the problem at hoof, having it affect them for as long as they can remember. To which, in most cases, they see my weekly town hall meeting as a way to finally voice their concerns and let their stressful issue be known to the public.

All they want is a solution from me or my leadership, an answer and actions that would resolve their problems and make their own lives easier than it was before. However, it usually isn’t the case. I or my officials can’t solve every single problem coming out of those meetings. We try to do our best, but it occasionally doesn’t seem to satisfy whoever presented the problem in the first place.

Then as time goes on, they continue pressuring us into their demands. At that point, it could usually end up turning for the worse. The more we say something on the lines of “We can not help you,” the more impatient they grow since both sides clearly can’t see eye-to-eye. While I wish I could dig into their issue further than what is permitted by law, I wish those ponies could see my side of the issue as well. It’s complicated, but I will try to sum it up the best I can.

I can’t help you if the issue requires a solution that doesn’t seem possible.

I’ve always believed every single problem can be solved within reasonable manners. However, if a problem you present to me or my leadership does seem out there or ridiculous to solve, we might dismiss you almost immediately unless it’s thoroughly explained. If not, it doesn’t help out your case at all.

Then comes the hard part of the town hall meeting, throwing them out of the court. It’s usually at this time when their brutal honesty, on my leadership or me personally, would show. That’s when the insults from them are heard, and when I and my delicates would shake our heads in disappointment. They don't understand us.

We aren’t perfect. We can’t sprinkle magical, problem solving dust over all the issues coming to us. A lot of them take time to figure out and solve within a manner appropriate for the situation. However, some ponies don’t seem to have the time and patience to wait on my own decisions concerning an accord between me and the fellow pony. Instead, they freak out, throw a fit, cuss, and complain about the time it takes for their case to be resolved. That’s when I throw them out.

Afterwards, I sometimes leave the room for a moment, head towards a break room, sip some tea, and then do some complaining myself. Like I said, I’m not a perfect pony just because I wear a crown and call myself a princess. I have flaws and problems of my own, yet I sacrifice hours of my time, every single week, to help solve others. Why? It’s because I care about my ponies of Equestria.

I care, a lot, and wish Equestria could understand that, but I know is merely impossible to accomplish besides echoing my kind words over-and-over again throughout the centuries I live. So, it’s hard to get a message like that out to the ponies just by my mere words, therefore it seems to have fallen to the wayside as I focused upon other actions that showed my kindness.

One was setting up and running the town hall meetings.

It opened up the doors and allowed my beloved citizens to come in and talk to me within a common setting, but also allowed all their hate and anger to flow to me as well. I repeat, I have heard every single criticism, rant, and comment about the crown during those meetings. To which, they usually make out my or my sister’s Royal Veil to be nothing short of ignorant, stuck up, and daft.

....sigh.

It irritates me most of the time when I hear such words, yet I can’t seem to do a single thing about it outside of banishing them from the court. Yet, is there another way of showing them I’m not anything they make me out to be? Or should I just ignore it entirely since I must do what I can to maintain such a pristine role I play in society? To which, isn’t that condition proving their point about my role?

It’s questions like those that keep me pacing around my bedroom each night. While I have done all I can to try and resolve those questions proposed to myself, I again keep coming back to same answer as before; You do what you can do. I can’t solve everything, but I can do what I can to help while trying to show love and kindness to my little ponies of Equestria. It might not work out for some, but at least I tried to make it work out to begin with.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

Princess Twilight Sparkle & Princess Cadence: “Earned, not Given.”

Princess Twilight Sparkle & Princess Cadence
“Earned, not Given.”

Within the depths of the Castle of Friendship, an entire section of Twilight’s Library was converted from a cozy study to a studio production room with bright lights, movie cameras, and microphones for voice recording. At the front of the set, three chairs were laid out. Occupying two of those chairs were the regal Princesses Twilight Sparkle and Cadence. Meanwhile, a reporter, simply named Scope, sat in the chair opposite to the Equestrian Princesses.

At their request, this entire interview wasn’t going to be something as simple as talking about recent policy changes or what-the-hey they like eat from time-to-time. Instead, they wanted to finally address the reporters about an issue that has bothered them for a while. To them, this was an issue they felt was too personal for just an article in a newspaper. They had go in-depth about it, so they had to call Scope to do the story.

Scope, a veteran reporter for the Canterlot Herald and Princess Celestia’s personal press secretary, likely obliged upon their request.

“Good Evening,” he bowed.

“Good Evening,” both princesses replied.

“Now before we begin this interview, is there any last-minute thoughts or objections towards what we are about to talk about? I understand that some of the subject matter we are about to get into might not be favorable in your image. Thus, my princesses, if you wish to still speak about it and risk changing the outlook of how the citizens of Equestria view you two, my majesties, then I won’t stop you two from going any further beyond this point,” Scope clearly stated.

Twilight nodded, “I understand your concern, Scope, but me and my aunt want to finally talk about it openly.” She looked over at the pink alicorn, “So, without any further delay, I say let’s do this.”

Cadence agreed, “Lets. The further we don’t discuss about the elephant in the room, the more ineffable it becomes to talk about it.”

Scope sighed, “Alrighty then.” He looked over the production crew, “Are you guys ready?”

Few subtle nods could be seen before the director put his hoof up, signaling to the interview that the cameras were set and ready to begin recording. “5, 4, 3,” the stallion said before mouthing the rest of the count down. At the end, a red light shined above the cameras, meaning they were now filming.

Scope turned his attention back towards Twilight and Cadence. “Good evening, your majesties. It’s an honor and a privilege to be talking to not just one, but both of you about an issue that you two seem to have a problem with recently.”

Twilight, hesitate from being a bit camera shy, tried to simply focus on what the interviewer was trying to say to her. She replied, “Umm, yeah. I mean, it’s about time we got down and address this issue in an almost one-on-one setting like this.”

Cadence, having a bit more experience with dealing with the press, was calm and collected with her speech. The Princess of Love then added, “I agree with my cousin here. It’s about time we talk about what has been dragging through our minds over the past few years. You know? To kind of settle it once and for all?”
“Certainly,” Scope nodded with a smile. He then looked down at his notes, written on a plan piece of paper. Looking back up at the princesses, he began is interview by asking, “So just to recap here, it has been a few years since, you, Princess Cadence was crowned a princess by Princess Celestia herself, right?”

Cadence nodded, “Yes.”

“And just recently, you, Princess Twilight, was crowned a princess yourself by the same alicorn, right?”

Twilight shook her head and agreed, “Correct.”

“So, and this question goes out to both of you,” Scope cleared his throat. “How has that change affected your lives?”

“Well,” Cadence clarified, “It’s interesting how you put it. On the one hoof, being crowned a Princess at such an early age didn’t really give me a chance to experience the normal life of a pegasus. I’ve been so used to being an alicorn by now that I don’t even remember the times of which I didn’t have a horn. So, on the other hoof, I guess I can say that the change caused me to never really experience and remember my life as a pegasus in the first place.”

The reporter turned towards Twilight, “And you?”

“Wellll,” she dragged, “It did have me go from being a sort of-lonely book horse to a ruler of all things related to friendship in Equestria. So, in contrast to my aunt, Cadence, I think I can say that my change affected me more personally than her’s did.”

“How so?” Scope asked.

“Well, besides sprouting wings,” Twilight retorted, “I was put into my role rather quickly, compared how Cadence naturally, over an extended period of time, had the opportunity to get to use to her position in Equestria.”

Scoped looked over at Cadence. “Is this true?”

“Yeah,” she thought for a moment, “Kinda-sorta? I mean, the change to me was a surprise as well. While I always thought Twilight, here, was a wonderful, and very bright, pupil of Celestia, I never thought she would grant Twilight the gift of becoming an alicorn so soon. I thought it would happen a little bit later, maybe some time when Twilight is in her thirties, when she has had the time to be trained up and fully involved in her friendship role. But, I guess Celestia just had other plans.”

“Did Princess Celestia consolidate you about Twilight becoming an alicorn?” he asked Cadence.

“Yes,” the Princess of Love replied, “And I condoned it at first for the very same reasons I just explained to you.”

Twilight nodded her head. She knew Cadence’s concerns about her becoming an alicorn after the events transpired. “It’s true,” the purple alicorn admitted.

“I simply thought she wasn’t ready.” Cadence explained, “I thought she wasn’t mature enough to handle the stress and weight of baring such a role that could, and thank Celestia that it hasn’t, overwhelm her to the point where she would simply give up and betray her regal mentor-”

“But Cadence!” Twilight interviewed, shocked by what her aunt said. “You know that isn’t true! I would never turn my back on Celestia of all ponies!”

“I know that,” Cadence said in a calming manner. “And I’m glad I was wrong about that, but when Celestia asked me about turning you into one, I had to lay all crazy, but reasonable possibilities out on the table. To which, that is how that scenario came to be!”

The pink alicorn clarified, “But, I knew and believed it wouldn’t happen. So, after some more discussions with Princess Celestia, which included her giving me ideas towards how your professional development would be furthered along as an alicorn vs. remaining as a unicorn, I finally approved our mentor’s idea of you becoming a new alicorn princess.”

Cadence then held a front hoof out in front and touched one of Twilight’s, “You earned the right to become an alicorn because you have gone far and beyond the expectations of being the pupil of Princess Celestia. Once she told me about the amazing things you have done up to that point, all the things I didn’t know that you have done, it changed my mind.”

Water built up around Twilight’s eyes. She smiled, “Thank you.”

The reporter couldn’t help but crack a smile as well, “That’s very touching.”

Cadence nodded, with a smile, “You’re welcome.” She then levitated a glass towards her lips, taking a sip of water.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Scope then asked, “Now, after Twilight’s coronation, the press seemed to stir around the new Princess of Equestria, wanting to know more about Twilight’s personal life, her favorite things, hobbies, possible love interests-”

Cadence almost spat out her drink, giggling to herself. Meanwhile, Twilight groaned as she rolled her eyes upon the mere thought of liking another pony beyond a friendly relationship. Scope, surprised the reactions, felt dumbfounded.

“Did I say something taboo?” he hesitantly asked, not wanting to offend his rulers.

Cadence couldn’t stop giggling, “Oh, no!” she waved a hoof, “Not at all! It’s just, I tease Twilight all the time about finding a special somepony.”

“Really!” Scope scratched his chin, “And?”

“And!” Twilight command, “Nothing! Move on!”

Cadence scowled, “Now Twilight, you can’t just-”

“I said move along!” Twilight huffed, crossing her front hooves, “I don’t wish to talk about my personal love interests on camera! Ok?”

The Princess of Love sighed, “Alright then, Miss. I-Love-Flash-Sentry!”

“Hey!”

“Mooooving along,” the reporter chuckled, “As I was trying to say, the press was wanting to know more about the new princess, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Yeah,” the purple alicorn groaned, still annoyed by her aunt’s comment, “They certainly did.”

“But some others weren’t so fixated upon getting to know their new princess,” Scope scrolled through his notes, “They said a lot of things about you not earning the title of Princess, despite the objections from Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence, and that your achievement was only given to you since you’re personal friends with Princess Celestia.”

The reporter lifted a hoof to his chin, “What do you have to say about that?”

Twilight took in a deep breath as a hoof touched her chest. Exhaling, she calmed herself down and focused upon the reporter's question, ignoring Cadence’s remark from earlier. “I say, it’s simple. They don’t know me, or the things I did to earn the title of the Princess of Friendship. They look at my success and only see the mere image of what I’ve done in the public eye. However, they have no idea about the all the other stuff I’ve done in local areas, away from the bigger cities in Equestria.”

“Such as?” the reporter asked, leaning towards Twilight.

“Well,” Twilight scratched her head, “I’ve helped Princess Luna become a more social pony during Nightmare Night, saved Ponyville from being covered in smog from a sleeping dragon, organized Winter-Wrap-up, and saved Ponyville, again, from a crazy, magical unicorn named Trixie.”

The reporter glanced at Cadence, “Is this all true?”

“Yes,” she smiled, “All of that was true, and it surprised me as well. I never knew, until Celestia told me, that she has done so much for the town of Ponyville.”

“Yeah, well,” Twilight giggled, “I mean, I did do a lot now that I think about it.”

“However,” the reporter confirmed, “The press seemed to think your connection with Princess Celestia was the only reason you were given the title “Princess” along with your transformation.”

“It’s sort of true?” Twilight clenched her teeth, “But, I still don’t think the role and alicorn-ness, transformation, whatever, was given to me. It was earned, not given. I worked hard, nearly my entire life. I’ve been under the wing of Princess Celestia since the day I passed the test that allowed me to attend Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns until she granted to me the position of “Princess” some twenty-one years later to the day!”

“Earned, not given?” the reporter questioned.

“Yeah. It was earned, not given to Twilight,” Cadence agreed. “And those newspony’s, along with the rest of the common ponies, will never understand that. To which, I say, I understand their lack of knowledge as well. They're never around Twilight 24/7, and they never will be. They will never understand how hard she has worked to become the mare she is today. All they will ever see, along with me as well, is the mere image of a Princess who loves her subjects.”

“I see, I see.” Scoop looked over at his director, who was pointing at a clock in the room. The time for the interview was almost up, therefore, Scoop had to wrap things up. “Well, is there any final words you two wish to let the rest of Equestria know?”

“Nah.”

“Nothing.”

Scoop bowed his head. “Thank you, my Princesses.”

“You’re welcome,” they both replied.

“All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today.” - Pope Paul VI

Princess Cadence: Who Wears the Pants?

Princess Cadence
Who Wears the Pants?

"So, Princess Cadence?"

"Yes?" she says, sitting on her throne in the Crystal Castle. She takes a sip from a teacup floating inches from her lips.

"Who's the dominant one in your relationship with Shining Armor?"

She pits out the tea, shocked to hear such a question. "What?!"

"Who wears the pants between you two?"

Cadence levitates a napkin to her mouth, wiping the spat tea off her face. "Why, that's an easy answer! Me, of course!"

"Why do you say so?"

Cadence giggled, "Because, I can wear always wear his pants, but he can never wear my panties. He's all," Cadence imitated her husband's voice, "These are way too small! There's no way I'm able to fit into this!"

She then cracked a grin, "And I'm all, darn right! Now shut up and get back to your duties Shining!"

Princess Luna: Sweet Dreams

Princess Luna
“Sweet Dreams”

Alright, alright, I’ll finally address this for good.

I get asked this question a lot by ponies I casually talk to.

“What do you about THOSE dreams you enter? You know, the ones that aren’t exactly-”

...Aaannnnnd how do I usually react to such a question?

Well, I’ll just laugh it off while trying to quickly change the subject to avoid answering the question in the first place. I mean, it’s no business except for mine and my sister when it comes to how I rule the dream realm. However, if ponies do want to know the truth, then I will simply say this;

If all of a sudden a crush of yours, aka the absolute, best pony, shows up and wants to have some fun in your dream, then you’re welcome and probably blessed as well.

Sweet Dreams! * Wink *

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” - Oprah Winfrey