My chest felt heavy as I struggled to catch my breath, the darkness of the night swallowing me whole and blocking out all light. My life was an abyss and I could feel myself slipping deeper into the dread of this world, my hooves trembling as I felt so alone, so ugly.
“Mama!” I struggled to open my eyes, a force of dread weighing me down. My voice sounded weak and pathetic.
I didn’t deserve an answer from my family, I was a wicked little thing, I needed to be punished. All the happy thoughts with my mom and dad becoming hazy in my head, I wanted to scream but instead could feel myself choking.
“Ma...ahhhh. Da...ahhh.” My voice started to gurgle as I could feel my chest tighten, caught in a vice grip that threatened to tear me apart from the inside.
“Help!” I screamed out in horror as my body lifted from the silken sheets, I could feel myself leaping out of bed and onto the floor with a thud.
My eyes watched the shadows dance across the walls of my room. Delicate toys and collectables, the sort you'd find in any filly's room lining the many shelves or dressers. The window to my room was wide open as a welcome breeze wafted in, the pale blue moonlight adding very little light to the void around.
I groaned as I could feel my pale violet mane waterfall in front of my face, tangled and messy beyond repair at this point. My small hooves slowly inched closer to the window, feeling as if at any moment I might be plunged into the darkness once more.
I Gazed out the window with a sigh, I could see the town of Ponyville off in the distance, glowing softly with the activity of the night. My heart calmed within my chest as I felt more at ease, small hooves took the bottom of the window firmly and closed it.
With a gentle canter I made my way to my door, which was opened ever so slightly, left with a thin crack a flicker of light entering my room. I couldn’t remember keeping it open like so, most nights I’m sure I hear its soft click before bed.
Opening the door slowly I could hear a creak fill the air around me, ears folded back in growing worry, I poked my head out into the dark hallway yet all was empty and silent.
I swallowed a growing lump in my throat as I walked out into the hall, my eyes could make out a warm glow coming from downstairs. Taking each step carefully I made my way to the edge of staircase, sure enough the flickering of a candle was burning off in the distance.
I could feel the dread returning to my small frame, weighing me down further while I felt as if my hooves were sinking into the floor. I quietly made my way to the doorway, taking the curve off the side to peek in.
My mother Spoiled Rich was relaxed in a chair beside the kitchen table, her mane neatly cascading down the sides of her face, her bold ocean blue eyes glowing in the darkness.
“What’s wrong dear?” She asked in a soft whisper a steaming mug of coffee in front of her, sat upon the large oak table decorated with fine silk cloth.
“I had a bad dream.” I sighed as I leaned against the door frame in worry.
“You poor thing. Well, it’s over now.” My mom smiled flashing me a playful wink from across the room.
“Why are you up so late?” I asked my small hoof gently rubbing the corner of my eye sleepily.
“I just needed to think a while. Also coffee helps to calm my nerves, honey.” My mother giggled as she rose from her seat, walking to my side while a loving hoof traced through my mane.
“Want me to tuck you back in dear?” She leaned over and gave me a soft kiss upon my cheek.
I smiled weakly and nodded, my mother happily walking upstairs as I followed close behind. I bit my lower lip, hooves taking each step one at a time, bidding the moments of this chilled night.
“Mom,” I spoke as she came to a stop at my door, looking back with a caring smile across her lips.
“Hmmm?” she cooed with a thin raised brow.
“I...I love you.” I felt my lips grow dry as the words escaped my mouth, trotting over with a weak grin barely visible.
My mother just gazed down with a soft sigh and gently patted my flank, nudging me into the darkness of my room. I pounced slowly back into my bed as she pulled the sheets high and tucked them tightly into the bed.
I wiggled a bit under the sheets, trying my best to feel comfortable. Yet no matter what I still felt as if I were bound to a wall, my mother nuzzling my cheek with her muzzle as she kissed my forehead.
“Get some sleep now. Don’t be afraid and just relax,” she whispered in my ear and slunk away into the darkness, the door never clicking shut behind her.
As I sat in the void and gazed to the ceiling in deep thought, I could feel a small smile form across my lips, for once at least I knew what a mother’s love felt like.
Though far from genuine, she couldn’t bring herself to say those three words.
For in its heart, there is no room.
The words I yearned for, all these years.
The door creaked open a slight bit wider, echoing across the silence of the room.
The abyss growing thicker once more, all hope draining away from the world around.
I soon could feel my chest tighten again, dread sinking into my soul and weakening my body.
Those words would feed it.
Those words would soon fade away with me, back into the nightmare I had escaped.
My only ray of light,To rejoin my family.
Wherever they may be.
