Are You Made Of Copper And Tellurium?

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1507

Twilight loves Rainbow Dash, and plans to tell her in a typical Twilight fashion — through science. But Rainbow Dash doesn't react in the way she was expecting, and now it's up to one pony to make her see the light...

Twilight loves Rainbow Dash, and she plans to tell her as such in a typical Twilight fashion — through the wonder of science. But when Rainbow Dash doesn't react in the way she was expecting, it leaves her feeling heartbroken; it then falls to Starlight Glimmer to pick up the pieces, as well as make Dash realise the truth.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

I know the whole 'copper and tellurium' joke has been done to death, but I wanted to do my own take on it. And then there's the fact I've never actually written any TwiDash before, despite constantly going on about how I think it is the best ship.

So, I decided to rectify that.

Cover art is by TwistedHiccy (formerly HiccupsDoesArt) and is used with permission.

Published 2017-08-05 15:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-05 15:10:06 UTC

One-Shot

Rainbow Dash's cloud home was, to her, a place of sanctuary; a place where she could throw away her cares and lounge away entire days and weekends, perfectly content amongst the organised chaos of mess that made up her living space.

An added bonus was the solitude she enjoyed; up here, there were no bothersome ponies knocking at the door trying to sell her something, or trying to get a signature for some petition of sorts. She lay back on her couch and sighed contentedly, happy with the knowledge that she wasn't due to report back to Captain Spitfire at the Wonderbolts compound for another three days.

To her surprise, there was a knock at the door. Rainbow Dash sighed and stood up; she had forgotten that some pegasi also earned a living as door-to-door salesponies. Trotting over to the door, she kicked aside rubbish, pledging that she'd clean up at some point in the – quite distant, if she was to be honest – future.

"Whatever it is you're selling, I'm not interested!" she shouted. "I have no need for insurance, I probably don't care about your cause, and I've already pledged my allegiance to both of our Princesses!"

"Rainbow Dash, it's me." the voice made Dash do a double take.

"Twilight?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to ask you something," Twilight replied. "It's important."

Rainbow Dash opened the door, at which Twilight walked in. The alicorn was sweating slightly, her mane stuck out in places and she was seemingly taking great care to avoid making eye contact.

"Um... Twi?" Dash cocked her head at Twilight. "Are you all right? What's this important thing you need to ask me, and why can't it wait until the next time I decide to visit Ponyville?"

"Because I know how you are when you get a weekend off, Rainbow Dash," Twilight replied. "You'll spend the whole time here, sleeping, and nopony will see hide nor hair of you."

"Oh." Dash grinned sheepishly. "Good point." She walked back to her couch and sat down. "So, what's up?"

Twilight sat in the chair opposite, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "There's something I need to ask you," she said. "But since I wasn't sure how, I've decided to do it another way... my way."

"Go on."

Twilight fixed a small grin on her face. "Are you made of copper and tellurium?" she asked. "Because you're—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Rainbow Dash waved her forehooves in the air. "You came all the way up here, interrupting my weekend, just to ask me a nerdy question like that?!"

"Well... yes," Twilight replied. "But if you'll just let me—"

"I already know what I'm made of, Twilight," Dash continued. "I'm made of equal parts awesome and cool, with a little bit of amazing on the side." She laughed. "You're such a dork, you know that?"

To her amazement, Twilight did not laugh; her eyes filled with tears and she bolted from the house as fast as her wings would carry her, the resulting draft tearing posters from the walls.

Dash blinked in surprise. "Damn," she muttered. "Who'd have thought that she'd get that upset over a silly joke? I'd better go down to her castle and apologise."

She left her house, closing the door firmly behind her, and began her descent into Ponyville, her eyes fixed firmly on the castle.

***

Dash landed on a balcony and entered the castle; she had barely taken more than a few steps before she was accosted by an irate Starlight Glimmer.

"What in Tartarus did you say to her?!" Starlight demanded. "She got back a few minutes ago, bawling her eyes out, and locked herself in her bedroom. Now she won't let anypony in!"

"I didn't say anything!" Dash defended. "Other than she interrupted my time off for a nerdy joke, and that she was a dork."

Starlight narrowed her eyes. "Let me guess, she asked you if you were made of copper and tellurium?" Dash nodded, and Starlight sighed. "Did you at least let her finish?"

Dash shook her head. "No, not really," she replied. "I kinda— hey!"

Starlight marched past Dash, grabbed her tail with her telekinesis, and began dragging her down the corridor. "You want to know why she got upset?" she asked. "Because I'm going to show you; maybe then you'll realise you made a stupid mistake." She dragged the pegasus into the library and plonked her down in front of a blackboard, then picked up a piece of chalk.

"Starlight, what are you doing?" Dash asked, watching as the unicorn began writing on the blackboard.

"Shush." Starlight placed a hoof to her lips. "Just watch."

Dash rolled her eyes, but did as she was asked while Starlight continued writing; she soon finished and showed Dash what she had written, tapping the bottom line with the chalk.

Are you made of copper and tellurium?
Because you are
Cu Te

"Do you see it now, Rainbow Dash?" Starlight asked. "Do you see now what Twilight was trying to tell you?"

Dash studied the blackboard carefully, reading each line aloud. After the third time, her eyes shrank to pinpricks and she gasped.

"Twilight thinks I'm cute?" she queried. "But that would mean..."

"That she has a crush on you?" Starlight nodded. "Exactly! But because you were so callous as to interrupt and then laugh at her, she now thinks it is hopeless trying to win your affections." She slammed a hoof into the floor. "She was convinced that you felt the same way about her as she does you, but not any more."

"That's not true!" Dash shouted. "I... I do feel something for her, Starlight, but you know what I'm like when it comes to expressing emotions like love; I'm completely clueless."

"What do you like about her?" Starlight asked.

Dash blushed. "Well, she's smart for a start; way smarter than me, that's for sure. If it wasn't for her, I never would have passed my entrance exam for the Wonderbolt Reserves. I also like how she sticks her tongue out when she's concentrating, how organised she is, how great she is as magic, how cute she is..."

"That'll do, Rainbow Dash," Starlight said. "Now, what are you going to do about apologising to her? I'll give you a clue: it involves making use of one of the books in this library."

Rainbow Dash looked around, her eyes falling on one of the reference shelves; she walked over, browsed the spines, then pulled one of the books out and showed it to Starlight.

"I'll use this," she said. "And apologise in a way she'll appreciate."

Starlight nodded. "All right," she said. "Let's get to work, shall we?"

***

Twilight lay on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. A box of tissues, half empty, sat on the table next to her; the contents, many of them wet with tears, were in and around a nearby bin.

A gentle knocking at the door roused her from her stupor. "Go away," she said. "I don't want to talk to anypony right now."

"Not even me?" Rainbow Dash asked from the opposite side. "I'm here to apologise, Twilight; Starlight explained everything and, well... I wanted to tell you something in return."

"I don't want to hear it, Rainbow Dash," Twilight snapped. "Just leave me alone, so I can be a 'dork' in peace."

"Sorry, Twilight, but I'm not going anywhere until I say it," Dash replied. "Please, I need to get this off my chest."

Twilight sighed. "Fine," she said. "Say it, then leave."

"All right, here goes nothing." Dash cleared her throat. "Iodine, livermorium, uranium, aluminium, sulphur, oxygen."

Twilight sat up, perplexed, as she processed what Rainbow Dash was saying to her. When realisation hit her, she went over and opened the door. "Really?" she asked.

Dash threw a piece of paper she was holding to the ground. "Yes, really," she said. "I'm sorry I treated you like that, Twi, but... come on, you oughta know I'm no good when it comes to 'feelings.'"

"I should have also realised that I could have simply blurted it out," Twilight replied. "After all, you're a pony of action, not words."

Dash took Twilight's forehoof in hers. "Exactly, I'm a pony of action," she said. "Actions such as this, for a start."

With that, she leaned forward and expectantly pressed her lips to Twilight's; Twilight returned the kiss eagerly, as a single tear made its way down each of their faces.

Starlight, watching from nearby, couldn't help but beam with pride as she watched her friends become lovers. She picked up the discarded piece of paper that Dash had dropped and looked at it.

Iodine Livermorium Uranium Aluminium Sulphur Oxygen.
I Lv U Al S O

"Hmm..." she mused. "I wonder if this would work on Sunburst?"

She tossed the paper into a bin and retreated to the library, leaving Twilight and Rainbow Dash to enjoy their new-found love in peace.