Fallout: Equestria - Home is Where Ever the Hell My Heart is
I always liked the experience of waking up in bed with someone's eyes looking back at you only inches away... that feeling that you weren't alone was comforting. I never realized how critical it was to have the rest of their body there until it wasn't there at all.
“Ahhhh!” I jerked away from the severed head of the unicorn mare. I found myself in a derelict cabin, a sea of bottle clattering as the empty dream faded away to the stinging pain in my head. The dusty air clawed at my lungs as I looked over the new scars all over my body in a panic. I flexed my wings, but only the one moved. “Where the hell am I? Hell, what happened to my body?”
“Sweet Celestia, will you shut up!?” The mare's bright blue eyes widened. “Your body? Fuck! Where do you get the balls to complain like that?”
There were red sores under her eyes. She had been crying.
“You're alive?!”
“Looks like you figured it out, Twilight Sparkle! If I had half the brains you did, I'd be somewhat okay like this.” She rolled her eye with emphatic disdain.
“I'm sorry, severed heads don't talk where I come from. There aren't severed heads at all! What was I supposed to do?” What was I doing? Trying to explain myself to zombie head?
“You'd think you'd be less surprised, since you rescued me from those freaks last night.” The tired head sighed.
I braced my temples. The beginnings and the ends of what I remembered didn't match up. I just wanted somepony to tell me which way was up. “I don't... remember anything. I shouldn't of signed up for that job on the surface.” I held my head in my hooves. “Why do my eyes feel like they want to pop out of my head?”
“Lemme see.” The mare cocked an eyebrow. I didn't have any pride to speak of, so followed her instructions. She just laughed at me. “Yup! That's a hang over, kid! You should take it easy on the alcohol.”
“They don't have alcohol back home...” Home. Just saying the word made me shudder. How would I even get back home? “It encourages willful debauchery that reduces us to animals.”
“Your home sounds like its head was so far up its own ass you needed to drink,” she laughed. “Drink some water, kid.”
She said it so non-chalantly, too. Like it was easy... “Where the hell am I gonna get water? There isn't a refilling station, not approved by The Enclave at least. Everything down here is poison.”
“Just get some water. Not all of its poisoned.” The head scoffed at me. “You're with those feather-dusters up in the sky? Green, every one of you.”
“I am not a feather-duster!”
“It's just a joke, feathers.”
“I don't get you uncivilized underworlders.”
“At least we didn't come to your home, slaughtering everypony like monsters!”
Monsters!? Passionate, I almost hit her before I caught myself. I took to my hooves. Where the hell was my uniform? My armor? “Fine. I'll get home on my own.” I grit my teeth as I stumbled to the door.
“Wait! Please!” The mare's voice begged, terrified. “Don't leave me... please...They'll kill a novice like you for sure... please....”
She was crying.
“I...don't want to be alone. Not like this,” the head sniffled. “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.”
I don't think I ever realized how terrifying it must be for her. It was more than I could fathom. “Hey, I'm sorry.”
She flung herself to the side so she didn't have to look at me. “You should just kill me... I don't stand a chance like this. I don't want to be a freak!”
It might have just been instinct programmed into me to wipe away rain clouds, but I brushed away her tears with my wing. There were little salty canals dried into her face... hell, she couldn't wipe away her own tears. I hugged her close. “It will be okay.”
“Shut up.” She puffed her cheeks.
I put my wing around her and put her on my back as she wriggled. Bottles floated up into the air ready to pelt into me. “What do you think you are doing?!”
“You're the only pony who knows anything about me. I want you to come with me,” I answered. “I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm kinda lonely. Maybe we can find a way to get your body back.”
“Well, whatever you say.” She smiled a bit. “What's your name, softie?”
“Tailwind,” I said. “What's yours?”
She looked away with pang of regret. “Silky... Hooves.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Not your fault...”
I shuffled my hooves. “What should I do now?”
“You are awake!” A strange pony cried out, barging through the door. He was clad in hub caps and bones, with pens and pencils dangling from his mane. I would describe him as a 'bone nose'... mostly because of the bone sticking through his nose.
“Who the...?!” I tried to calm down. He was savage... yet, friendly enough.
“I am a friend,” he said to me. “Those who wander into The Village of The Lost often come in need. You've come to us, bound for a great journey! Let us help you. You've already helped us greatly from the previous day.”
“I don't remember anything. I just want to get home.”
“Forgetting is a great blessing and curse. It matters not. Home you will find, my friend.”
“Where's my armor? My uniform?”
“I know not of your armor. You were not dressed for battle when you stumbled through our town. We took your garb, however... the wastes are not pleased with the sky people. They robbed us of the sun and attack us for why, we do not know... but you are a good one, and we wish to protect you, so we hid them away.” He smiled at me. “We wish you the best on your journey of rediscovery.”
“Rediscovery? What?”
“Look to your rear,” he said with some kind of profound ambiance.
There on my ass... nothing had been there before, but there was some strange mark. It was like a cutie mark, but it had faded away, turned smudgy. “What? What is it? What does it mean?”
“In this wasteland, you managed to find yourself, yet forgot what made it so.” The strange pony patted me on the shoulder. “Mother Wasteland is tough but wondrous. Go, find yourself, fledgling.”
I found my cutie mark here? I could barely believe it. Eighteen years above and I only just found it on a single journey in the wastes.
And so, with some borrowed supplies we set out.
***
“Beg for your life, horsefly!” The brute threatened with a gun.
A mob of dirt-smeared ruffians behind him cackled as one pony brandished a long chain.
Our first day was looking to cut our journey short. I had gotten scared and opened fire. Didn't listen to Silky, I dropped her on the side and was now pinned by pony twice my size. I was paralyzed. Without a wing and as far as I could be from home, I really missed the blue skies. I wanted to be home. Home was safe.
This was everything The Enclave feared about the surface. Savage, cruel, merciless.
I couldn't make it. I'd die here. “I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry~” The raider mocked. “Where do you think you are, sugar plum? Sorry don't cut it,” he said as he drew a blade against my skin. “You pegasi... think you're better than us.”
I shook my head panicking.
“FUCK!” A raider in the pack called out as a grenade exploded on his bandoleer. The group scattered into disarray as floating guns spat bullet everywhere as the group looked for the strange assailant.
“What the hell?” The raider lifted off of me.
“Shoot, damn it!”Silky cried out.
I followed orders, slipping out from the pin and grabbing my gun. The trigger felt heavy as bullets riddled the pony until he stopped moving.
I was gasping as I looked at the dead pony. That could have been me.
“Hey,” Silky called as she lay in the dirt. “How's my dead pony impression?” she asked, shooting her tongue out and rolling her eyes back. “It's pretty good right?”
I rushed over to her. “I'm sorry! Are you okay? I should have listened.”
“I'm fine.” She smirked. “Just don't ever drop me again!”
I laughed a little. “Yes, mam.”
I picked her up and we walked a little. Finding our bearing was a little hard, but we followed the path to the town that Silky remembered. I was careful this time. Careful not to get caught.
“Tailwind... Why did you listen to that raider when he told you to stop?”
“Huh... I just...”
“You were on a roll before, but... you cramped up.”
“I grew up in the military. I'm so used to following orders... I guess its just a matter of habit.”
She laughed at me. “Well as long as you're here, you can forget all of that. You can do whatever the hell you want. Nopony is gonna tell you what is right or wrong.”
“I think that's what scares me.” I stopped as we found an old busted wagon pile up along the road. “I killed a pony today...shit. I'm used to shooting guns. I've shot targets all my life... targets are easy...” I grimaced. “Targets don't bleed. Targets don't scream.”
“Hey, don't think like that!” she said after konking me in the head with a can. “You did what you had to. Your life is the most important thing, you disrespect yourself by trivializing that.”
I sighed. “Up til now, I didn't even know I would be good for anything... and I still don't know. I've always been a cog. I'm a soldier.” I collapsed. “I'm not even a good soldier. I can't shoot.”
“It's gonna be okay. The wasteland doesn't care if you're a good soldier or not.” She nuzzled into me. Strangely enough, I found it comforting.
We settled in for the night in the cabin of an abandoned wagon. I was so tired, I didn't even realize I wasn't sleeping on a real bed. I had never walked so much in my entire life. How did earth ponies live?
***
“Open fire,” a voice commanded me.
A million controls in front of me blinked and howled, spanning out as the raptor hovered above the towns. They seemed so tiny. Little houses made of paper and grass.
“They're a plague. Kill them now!” my commander ordered.
The whole crew was looking at me. Their angry eyes glaring at me. I felt a chain around my neck.
My brothers and sisters, stepping on top of me, their legs strangling, pulling at my hooves and guiding it as the myriad of buttons peeled away until there was only one.
With a single press, I watched as lighting and hellfire rained down below. I saw them rip apart into splatters of blood that seeped through the control panels onto my hooves. Again and again, we attacked towns. We attacked individuals.
In a moment, I was the raptor, and I couldn't turn away. I'd open my mouth to warn them, but there were no words, only flesh boiling plasma. I shivered as I found my targeting reticles find its way to a head on a pedestal. The head looked angry at me with tears in its eyes.
“WAKE UP!”
***
“WAKE UP!”
I was shaking. Silky's bright blue eyes looked at me with concern. “It's gonna be okay. It's just a nightmare. You're fine now.”
“I killed ponies. I killed them. I didn't want to. They made me do it.” I hugged Silky tight.
“I know. You wouldn't do that.” Nuzzling was all she could manage. “After all, you're looking out for me. I'm really thankful.”
“Shouldn't be.” I had tears running down my face. “I'm a failure. What good's a pegasus who can't even fly? What's the point in trying to get home?”
“Shut up!” She yelled as she konked me in the head with another bottle. “You're gonna dig yourself into a hole like that.” She sighed. “Y'know, I had a beautiful body.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, I loved it. I didn't exactly treat it well at all, but I miss it like hell. I got in this mess because I wanted to be a dancer.”
“You dance?” I tried to imagine what she'd look like... what she'd move like. I blushed.
“I had so much fun on my hooves.” I could feel her love of movement just from the way she talked. “I let some bastard sweet talk me into thinking I could be a star.” She spat to the side. “Tch! As if... I found myself with a collar on my neck soon after... back when I had a neck.”
It hurt to think about. “I'm sorry... that's... wow.”
“But you know what? I'm not giving up.” She smirked. “It's crazy enough that I'm still alive, but that means I could get my body back. We'll get you a new wing too.” She smirked at me. “Let me make you some food! I think you need it.”
“I don't have any spare rations.”
“I said 'food', not 'crap!' Get with it.”
That night, I think I had some of the tastiest... something I'd ever had in my life. I would have never known had I never come here. Silky stayed up and talked with me the whole night.
***
“Get out!” the Scavenger yelled as he cocked a shotgun. “I said 'Get!'”
We dodged... er, I dodged on the behalf of Silky and myself, the gunfire and thrown junk as we crawled out of town. I'd never seen such fear in a pony's eyes.
“What an ass!” Silky scoffed. “Don't worry about them. They were sacks of shit!”
“They hated me...” I shrugged. “I just don't know why...”
“It's the wings...” the mare chimed in.
“Wing.”
“But ponies are going to hate you for whatever reasons. They don't know you.”
“I've never been hated for my race before...”
“That happens sometimes...”
“I've never really been around other races, to be honest. It's scary.”
“Some don't get past that, but they aren't everybody. I think you're pretty cute.”
I blushed a bit. “Shut up... okay. I'm fine.”
We had avoided a few conflicts like the last one. We didn't have supplies or ammo for that. I just needed to get home. I'd find my raptor, and I'd apologize for leaving. I'd never have to deal with all the danger ever again. My home was where the sky was.
As the sun was going down, we could see the lights of city not too far off. According to Silky, we met somewhere in there. Rumor from passersby was that the raptor crashed down there too.
It was too far to walk for the night, so we set up a camp fire. I had set out out my sleeping roll and wrapped Silky in a snug bundle.
“Hey... Tailwind.” Silky asked as we lay on the ground.
“Yeah?”
“What are the stars like?”
I looked up at the blank cloud cover. She had never seen them... I never thought about it. They had always been there, it was hard to imagine life with out them. The sky seemed a little cramped. “Pretty... like a sea of tiny little lights.”
“How many?”
“What?”
“Come on, you dunce. How many are there? You had those things over your head like every day of your life and you never thought about counting them.”
I scratched my head. “Well... There are a lot. Like I don't even know. More than I'd like to count.”
Silky was alittle wide eyed as she looked at me. “You lazy fuck!” She smiled. “I'd like to see for myself one day, but I don't think I ever will.” She looked away. “Hey, if you get your wing back or whatever, do you think... if it wasn't too much trouble, could you take me up there to see it... just once, y'know? I've always wanted to, since I was little.”
I sighed. “I don't know really...” I don't think I'd be allowed to do that, not ever.
“Would I be too heavy? We could postpone getting my body back, I want to see the stars!” She was a little insistent.
“We'll see...We should get some sleep.”
As the night past on, the fire died, but I just looked up at the black sky. What would I even do when I got to raptor? What about silky? What if she didn't get her body? What if she couldn't? What if she did? Would she even care about me after that? I was just a talentless pegasus, I was just her legs.
“Hey, Tailwind...” Silky's shivering voice broke me out of my thought.
“Huh, what?”
She was flushed. “I'm... cold. Can I sleep with you?”
I was taken aback, but I couldn't deny her. I tucked her in with my bed roll and cradled her on my stomach. She was really delicate and vulnerable... I was scared of her at first, but she wasn't really a severed head. She had a strange cybernetic base on her neck, keeping her alive. Her coat and mane were really smooth.
“Behind the ears, flufferboy.” That was her way of requesting. I'd gotten used to itching her face the last two days.
“Excuse me? I should noogie you.”
“Please? Pretty please?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I complied as I scratched the ridge behind her ears with both hooves.
“mmmm, that's the shit.” She purred.
I laughed.
“So, up there, any girlfriend? Somepony missing you?”
“What!? No... no! That's requires... paper work, and 5 years of service... and way better scores than I'd ever gotten with aptitude tests.”
“Oh come on! Cute pegafillies fluttering about, you had to have a crush.”
“I mean... I did, but they made me write an essay about the unsustainability of open procreation and the risks of overpopulation on the enclave.”
She looked at me with soft eyes. “Why do you want to go home again?”
“Well, nopony was trying to shove their gun down my throat back home...”
Silky turned aside. “Doesn't sound like it,” She grumbled.
Did she just...?! “I am not into... well, I've never really tried, but I don't really think I would...”
Silky looked at me with predatory eyes and I shivered. “You a virgin?”
…
She laughed at me. “Sorry...” she said, looking up to the sky. “Can't help you there.”
I flicked her horn as she sneered.
We joked and talked all night until we fell asleep. My dreams were really clear that night. And when I woke up, her big blue eyes were looking back at me.
*** *** ***
I fucked up.
We never should have come here.
“Welcome back, Jailbird!” a suited earth pony shouted as he lifted me up with a cybernetic claw. “Just when we thought we had lost our head, how nice of you to bring it back. My boss is gonna be real happy that you that dumb, kid. You thought Cufflink would forgive you or something?”
We didn't stand a chance. They were armed well. The lavish casino city streets were alight with neon signs hanging over burning buildings. With all the technology and robotics left around, this place must have been a paradise before the war.
“Red Eye's not too keen on forgetting about you're little operation!” Cufflink smiled in my face.
“I don't know.”
With a glance and a nod, one of the goons behind the gangster shot me in my hoof. I screamed.
“Maybe you should 'get' knowing, feather brains. We know about Cauterize!”
Cauterize. I remembered. Nothing made sense, but I knew I hated that word. They wanted me to kill, and even if I didn't want to, it didn't matter.
I struggled and kicked. I had to rebel, but nothing really bothered the gangster. He slammed my head into the side of a nearby car.
“Masquerade wants you alive. You're gonna show us how to work that little toy plane you dropped on us, and if you don't we're gonna make double sure you never become more than the flightless bird ya already are. We got the tar, you got the feathers, capiche?”
He dropped me on the car top, as he pulled out a cigarette.
“Shackle and tackle 'em, boys,” he said after blowing a trail of smoke. “Thanks for making this easy on us, idiot.”
Two cronies came on either side of me. I reached back as Cufflink picked Silky up with his metal claw. She opened her mouth, but I couldn't hear. Cufflink smacked his hoof across her as he put her in a metal case. No... Silky...
I let her down.
“Hey, does this shackle look like a gun to you?” One of the grunts said with a wide grin, as he blasted the other grunt across the face with a shotgun. The pony smiled at me as the whites of his eyes flashed dark blue. “Come on, I'm getting you out of here,” the grunt said.
She pulled me up and lead me down the streets. Gunfire plinked across the bricks and cars as we passed. As we ran all I shouted out, “Who are you?”
“Me? I'm Nobody, but you can me 'No~'.”
We dove through building and bars. As we ran, I couldn't help but notice how many robots and turrets were scattered around the town. Eventually they stopped appearing.
We lost our pursuers in the slums, and Nobody's coat and skin peeled disintegrated into a wisp of green fire, revealing a black carapace. The changeling led me down a grungy staircase to a red door.
“Welcome to the No Mares Hoof.”
*** *** ***
I found myself in a raving speakeasy with ponies of all races and lifestyles. When I entered the room, I found myself swarmed with ponies as cheers were heard throughout the nightclub. So many mares in less than scanty apparel, dancing, flirting and flaunting... and somehow I found myself only looking at their faces.
“Why did you save me? Do these ponies know me?”
Nobody tilted down her sunglasses and gawked at me. “Tail, baby, you may be a nopony out there, but everypony in Nobody's know is keen to how much you made this happen.”
“I don't remember anything.” I held my head.
“Can't say I'm surprised. You were chewed up and spat out, and had hell to drink for,” Nobody said.
“What happened?” I stomped my hoof against the table. “Why did they take Silky?”
“All those robots and turrets you saw on the tour in? You shut 'em down.” Nobody sipped her drink. “Masquerade ran this whole place as a racket for a big timer named 'Red Eye.' She had been grabbing power for a while, and soon enough we were all shuffling in her chains whether we liked it or not. She recently got that damn security system operational, and we didn't have much of a chance.” She looked to me. “Your little raptor helped frazzle the system, and we kicked up a revolution of our own after you came flying out of the sky.”
“I'm not a hero.”
“You saved my life,” she shot back.
“They took Silky. I... I need to get her back.”
Nobody smiled. “I take it your interested in what we got planned.” She stood up and motioned for me to follow.
She took me to a back room with lines of rough looking wastelanders. Nobody cantered in front of a small table with hoofdrawn maps. “Masky's got your raptor tied back at the security hub. You fried the security systems last time and we stole the key for it, but now they have it again. We have to move and neutralize that before it comes back online, or we don't stand a chance.” She turned to me. “You want to go back home kid? We want to claim that raptor. There is something on it that is real bad.”
Even after all this journey, I found myself doubting the very reasons why I left. “I want to make sure my friend is safe.”
“Hmmm, well that's fine too. We have something you left last time that might help.” No whistled and some other drones brought out a suit of armor. My armor. “Get some rest before we go. Have a little fun. Never know what might happen.”
“I think I want to be alone.”
When I woke, nopony would be looking back at me... Silky.
***
Sirens wailed as the resistance stormed the base. Team B's liberation efforts made a lot of trouble, kept things chaotic. I shivered as the scent of flesh melting off the bones of my enemies filled the air. Even so, my tears fell.
The communications centre was clear... I left them dripping on the floors. I left the surgery bay to Nobody. She wouldn't murder them for what they did to Silky. I paved my way through security control.
Bullets fired. I bled. So what? This place was brand new to me, but my body seemed to remember to path.
It wasn't until the machines whirred to life that things got really bloody.
***
“Silky!” I shouted, but she couldn't hear me. So close, but the array of wires plugged into her seemed to deafen her to everything.
“She's gone, Romeo.” Cufflink said, gripping at my collar. Without my helmet, I couldn't fire my novasurge rifles. He sent me crashing through a computer array. “You're resistance is over.”
Searing hot sawblades jutted out of his cyberhoof. Leaning in, he lit the tip of his cigarrette from the heat. “Since I took your first wing, I've been dying to take the other.”
I grit my teeth. I wasn't a better fighter. I wasn't stronger. I wasn't smarter... but I had to win.
Cufflink punched in with his sawhoof as I blocked with my hoof. It cut through my guard and into my bone. I fought through agony to kicking him in the throat, catching him off guard. He was probably thinking of something witty to say when my tail punctured his chest.
Gasping, I crawled over to Silky on her pedestal. “Silky?” She stared off like she was in a daze. I unplugged the cables, did everything I could to disconnect her, but she only twitched like a mindless husk.
Tears poured down my cheek as I held my forehead to hers.
“Please, Wake up.”
“Shut up.”
Suddenly, I felt her soft lips against mine.
“You took forever.” Those blue eyes looked back at me. “Let's get to the raptor. Let's get you home.”
***
“Get going!” Nobody shouted from the crossway above as bullets tore into them. Masquerade and all her cybernetic enhancements loomed over the changeling.
“This is the end.”
“I could say the same for you.” Nobody replied just before the plasma grenade enveloped them both, sending the railings crashing down on the hangar floor.
“NOOOO!”
“She's gone. We have to move.”
The hangar shook as I hobbled aboard the gainway onto the Raptor.
Always moving forward, I sneaked my way towards the bridge of the ship.
Silky guarded my back as my lasers paved a way as we left a trail of blood from corridor to corridor.
Reaching the bridge, I raced to the control panels. Nopony was worthy of these weapons. I had to destroy them.
I piloted the Raptor haphazardously into the sky, scraping against the hangar doors.
“Stand down, Private,” the voice came from behind.
I could feel her guns aimed at me. “Commander.”
“This ship is armed with a new megaspell for Operation Cauterize. I order you to relinquish control.” She stepped forward.
“No.” I shook my head.
“I'm willing to overlook your insubordination if you comply. You will receive a fraction of the punishiment.”
I was trembling, but something in my heart urged me to resist. “You're going to kill ponies with it. I won't let you.”
“They aren't ponies. These underworlders are nothing more than bottomfeeders. Debase and savage always killing each other.” She spoke with a cruel animosity in her voice. “They are a plague on a once beautiful nation.”
“You've never lived there what do you know?!” Silky shouted.
“Commander, I've seen the wasteland. I've seen the cruelty. I've seen savages. You're right.” I sank back to my hinds as my hoof ached. I didn't dare look back to Silky. “But I've seen wonderful things down here. Ponies with bigger hearts and dreams than ever. They have freedom.”
“Don't give me that,” the commander cocked her rifles. “You don't belong with them. Your home is the big blue sky.”
“The skies didn't make me free!” I shouted. I realized why Silky's eyes calmed me. She was my sky.
“Stand down!”
“I don't need to listen to you!”
In flash, I jumped as bolts of energy flew through the air. I would have died, but Silky yanked the controls and sent the ship diving. In a blaze of green fire, the commander fell to the ground.
“I'll have your head. You'll be court-marshaled.”
Silky spat on her. “He'll get over it.”
As the ship dived, we escaped midair before the inevitable crash, riding on a tuft of cloud.
As we floated down in the morning sun, I held Silky tight. Eruptions of prismatic light burst from the towers across the wastes, scattering clouds and throwing ships off to oblivion.
Silky looked on in shock. “So much for going home.”
I kissed her forehead. “I already am home.”
***
Months later, I was watching the stars with Silky at my side.
“I never did find my cutie mark.” I wrapped my hooves around her neck.
Silky smiled as she wrapped her hooves around mine. “That's fine. We'll find it together.”
I never did wake up alone again.
