Chapter 1: PC Principal in Equestria
The sun was shining high in the sky while the ponies below pushed shovel carts through the snow. Pegasi flew above them, bucking clouds to allow the sunlight to pour on the snow below. It was Winter Wrap Up in full swing and everypony was working hard to bring spring back to their home town of Ponyville.
The local Princess of Ponyville was busying herself with organizing the different groups and she was pleased with their progress. “Much better than last year.” she said, marking her scroll with a quill. They made some real progress that day. Twilight thought they might even be able to finish a few hours early. Maybe Pinkie Pie would throw a 'We Finished Winter Wrap Up Early' Party? Twilight chuckled at the thought. That's exactly the kind of thing Pinkie Pie would do.
A few hours later Twilight stood at a podium in front of the assembled ponies of Ponyville. Mayor Mare stood to her left and her friends to either side if her. It had been hard work, really hard work. But it had been worth it. Winter is over, Spring has begun and everypony was excited to hear Twilight's praise.
“Alright everypony, I am very proud to say that this year's Winter Wrap Up has been the most efficient we've ever...”
“WOOWOOOWOOOO!!” A tall light skinned creature with a blue shirt, khaki pants and dark blue sunglasses burst onto the stage from seemingly nowhere. He pointed at Twilight and said, “Bro! Did you just say 'everypony'!?” Twilight confused and surprised by the sudden interruption nodded.
“Yes..”
“Do you think it's okay to marginalize and single out creatures of non pony origin!? Are you trying to assert your pony privilege over the sentient beings of Equestria like griffons and dragons!!!? Do you think dragons aren't Equestrians, bro!!?” Spike who was standing nearby opened his mouth to defend Twilight but the newcomer continued his harangue, turning on the crowd.
“Tell me this folks, this is Ponyville right? Where are the griffons? Where are the changelings? Where are the species minorities?” he paced around behind the podium, his fists tightly clenched. “You folks have been getting away with a lot of shit for a long time. Griffons being referred to as 'rude insensitive bullies!'” he shot Rainbow Dash a dark look that Queen Chrysalis couldn't match. “Insulting Yaks by making poor versions of their food! The first rule of diplomacy is showing them how you can help their culture and what you have to offer in way of trade not fucking up the goddamn vanilla extract in THEIR FUCKING CAKES!!!!” Twilight and her friends cringed away from the strange creature. But he wasn't done yet.
“My name is PC Principal and there's going to be some real fucking changes around here! There won't be any more marginalizing of species minorities while I'm here! Oh, and Lyra? Bon Bon?” he pointed at the unicorn and earth pony in the crowd. “I got your backs.” they looked at each other in confusion.
“From here on out, Ponyville will be as progressive and modern as ShiTpaTown! It's time for PC baby! And any one of you little fuckers who try to continue asserting your pony privilege prepare to be checked Bro!” Mayor Mare scowled and crossed the stage to stand before PC Principal.
“You have no right to harangue the citizens of this fine town. Who do you think you are?”
“Well ladee fucking dah! It looks like someone doesn't like me checking their privilege. I never thought I'd ever punch a horse but I guess you can call me fucking Mongo!!” Mayor Mare blinked and opened her mouth to ask what he meant when PC Principal swung his right fist and punched her right in the mouth. Knocking off her glasses and sending her into the crowd below.
“There's going to be some fucking changes around here!!! From this moment forward there will be no asserting pony privilege! There will be equality for everyone and anyone who doesn't get the fucking picture will have me to answer to! By the time I'm done you will be PC to the core! You will all understand affirmative consent! You will all treat your fellow sentient beings with the proper respect they deserve for being such beautiful and unique beings! AND IF ONE MORE FUCKING PERSON GIVES DITZY DOO SHIT FOR HER EYES OR CALLS HER FUCKING DERPY I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND KICK YOUR PLOT THROUGH A GODDAMN WALL!!!"
He kicked the podium clean off the stage and walked off. flexing his muscles and spreading his arms out at anypony who came to close.
"What! I'm PC bro I'll throw down!" Doctor Whooves fled from PC Principal. Ditzy Doo right behind him. Everypony in the crowd and on the stage stood where they were, completely stunned. What just happened? Who was this PC Principal? And why did he hit Mayor Mare. Mayor Mare got off the ground, her muzzle bleeding and tears in her eyes. What had she done to deserve such cruelty? She wasn't 'marginalizing' anypony, she didn't hurt anypony. So why was he so mean? Twilight, seeing Mayor Mare get up finally found her voice.
"Alright everyone...good work today. Now why don't we head on home for the day?" Nopony argued, they simply turned and left the area around city hall, heading towards their homes. Twilight and her friends trotted from city hall silently. Once they arrived at Twilight's Castle Spike closed and locked the door behind them. The six friends sat in their thrones in the map room and an awkward silence formed between them. They were the greatest heroes in Equestria and not one of them tried to stop PC Principal.
"That creature was scary...: Fluttershy finally whispered, breaking the uneasy silence.
"Most unpleasant." Rarity agreed.
"That guy was weird." Pinkie Said with a nod.
"We should go teach him a lesson!" Rainbow Dash declared. "He hit Mayor Mare. We can't let him get away with that."
"Alright everypony, calm down,"
"WOOWOOOWOOOO!!!" PC Principal's voice boomed through the halls of the castle, and all six ponies and one dragon jumped out of their seats.
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING THAT FUCKING WORD!!!??"
Author's Note
Hey guys. The idea of this story popped into my head while I was sweeping the floor at work. Hope you enjoy it!
