The Bar is No Place to be Alone
"Shut up and give me another drink" -Some alcoholic
Mornings suck. Even after 200 some years, they never get easier. The death and destruction outside will just have to wait, right now I just want to lay in bed and stay warm under blankets with a cuddly giant by my side.
Being immortal isn't exactly what people stack it up to be. It's really fuckin' lonely. Every pony I meet just ends up dying in the end, so… that's a thing.
180 years of loneliness can make you do crazy stuff. Like this one time I tried to befriend a mailbox. Named it Wilson and drew a face on it and everything, it even had its own voice! But it ended up getting blown up in a firefight. Have I made my point yet? Do you need it in italics or something?
Eventually though, life decided to throw me a bone.
My BFFE (Best Friend For Eternity) was a cuddly soft alicorn named Fashion Frenzy. As she and I spooned in the warm bed, gunshots and rings of explosions dug into our ears from outside. But that wasn't our problem. Actually doing things took effort. And I was running out of that lately. And when you actually stop whoever it is from shooting at each other, you’re bound to be called a “hero”.
A long while back, before Fashion, I had tried to make a difference. My world was falling apart and for some reason I took it upon myself to be the glue that would put it back together. It didn’t work, if you got that idea. Ponies started taking a liking to me, I was a pretty good kid. I stopped firefights, I ended clan battles, you know the whole 3 acres.
Eventually though, I got bored. It was bound to happen right? I was this big hero and everyone liked me. But when I decided, “Hey everyone likes me right? What if I do something not so good? I’ll know what it feels like to be bad and my reputation won’t fall, what could go wrong?” things… escalated.
Obviously, once you get a taste you can’t resist having another. And another. You get the idea. But eventually the bartender has to cut you off and my Bartender was a guy named Wide Brim. Don’t worry we’ll get to him later.
"Dearest? It's time you wake up. There's plenty of groaning and complaining to do~" Her soft soprano voice whispered into my ear as she nudged my head gently with her chin.
"Mmf, Five more years? Getting up is so last decade."
After many attempts to persuade my way into staying in bed, alicorn cheating magic prevailed as Fashion pulled the covers from atop my back. The instant chill of cold air rolled across me and I hopped out of bed and onto the sturdy-ish wood(again, ish) floor.
After a few stretches I made my way to the bathroom to take a warm shower and clean up, since I can’t even remember the last time Fashion forced me to take a shower. Looks do matter, even to raiders. If you don't look good, they'll just shoot you, but if you look like you belong in pre war Canterlot, they'll try to have their way with you, giving you more time to shoot them in their rabies infested faces.
As my hooves hit the freezing tile of the bathroom a small shudder rolled across all of my small frame. Why was it that the morning has to be so cold?
After a second look The room was fairly clean for the wasteland. The floor and walls were of once white tile that was now a sickly dark yellow, due to the fact they were covered in grime and several other substances that I don’t have the time to list right now. The tub-shower combo was shoved against the far wall with a sink placed closer to the door against the left wall.
I took a look into the mirror above the sink. What looked back at me was a mess. My white mane that usually hung over my shoulder was sticking up and out, although the mane in front of my left eye stayed reliably in place. My white coat was riddled with blood (mostly not my own) and a few burns and cuts. Nothing major because I have a better idea than most how not to get shot, thanks to 200 years of experience. My white eye (my hair covered my left eye) stared right back at me, like it was sad to see what I'd become.
200 years ago I sat in a school room with other kids my age, I wouldn't even think to hurt a fly because "all life is valuable" but now... If I were to count how many ponies I've killed within my wasteland experience, it would be somewhere beyond “good karma”, I stopped counting after 40. I'd become a pony with very few morals, as long as the pony got what they deserved, I don’t care how justice is dished out.
Being a blank I'm wasteland proof, taint doesn't hurt me, or radiation, stingwing venom doesn't poison me, the only things that actually are harmful are weapons and whatever gruesome melee choice the wastes throw at me. (And emotional if you count it)
I'm just so tired of the wasteland. It hasn't changed since it began. Every pony wants more power than the one above them and they'll do anything to get it. That's how it's always been, because rivalry will always be there no matter how civilized we are.
Tools of the trade may change, the reasons we fight may differ, the ones dishing it out and those receiving may alter from one to the other.
But war, war never changes.
[br]
After a warm shower (it's the small things that make all the difference) I came out of the bathroom to my alicorn looking out the window at the small town we resided in. The ponies of it spread around like ants searching for food, except for the one general goods vendor that was already awash with the clamor of hooves and ponies that stood by it grouped up in a mess of stench and filth.
I almost felt bad for her, all she wanted was to make me feel like I wasn't alone but that stopped her from having fun with booze and hookers. I had a massive stockpile of alcohol to drown my downfalls in. I've seen it all, sure. I'm ancient, I know how to handle things, most ponies in the wasteland are lucky to hit age 40, mainly due to lack of experience.
"Ready to go hon?" I asked from behind her. My young voice bouncing off the walls and bombarding me with the annoying reminder of how young I sounded.
“This place has a girly bar! And it actually has a bar! And ponies that are actually willing to do you! This place is amazing, how have I never been here before? Can we go, can we go, can we go? I really want to have a good time, it’s been way too long. Come onn!” Ah the legendary, ‘come onn’. She always resorted to it when she wanted something.
“Okay, jeez. You don’t have to whip out the ‘come on’. It’s not like I had anything else planned for today. I’m an old lady with too much time and weaponry at her disposal.”
"You're not old... Just aged. And like fine wine you are better with age."
I turned my head down in faux disappointment. "I'm a little mad that you called me old, but since you related me to alcohol, I'll let it slide. So are you ready?" The question went unanswered because of thinking, that thing had history of getting in the way.
"YESYESYES! Oh thank thank you thank you!” She lunged at me and wrapped me up in a lung crushing hug.
“URK, I need those..” I managed to mumble. She let go right away and smiled nervously.
She turned her wide blue body toward the rack we tossed our clothes the night before, her tall glistening body moving like it just belonged in whatever environment. Her absolutely gorgeous mane whipping and waving due to its excessive brushing. She took very delicate care of her looks.
She threw on her cloak and magicked mine over to me, the wasteland doesn't really take kindly to an alicorn and a blank just walking around all dangerous like. But you know, a tiny figure that never grew out of her child body and a really tall and shady looking shadow was so much better. She could always just turn invisible ‘cause of her cheating alicorn Magic, but apparently that was 'exhausting'.
The one story building was small but homely, and leaving it was harder than I had anticipated. Usually I had no problem leaving someplace, but for some reason this place was different. One night compared to however old I was was nothing, but this place...
As my hooves hit the soft dirt outside, I looked around at what could be roughly called buildings. After a few seconds, I realized something. I had no clue where I was. That was a strange experience. I've traveled all the corners of the equestrian wasteland, not knowing where I was hadn't happened since the bombs first fell. I guess my memory's not what it used to be...
"Something bothering you?"
"No, just thinking."
"You know that's a dangerous pastime, right? I don't believe that's ever worked out for either of us. Anywho, you know I'm here if you need to talk."
And she always was.
As we walked through the broken town to get to wherever Fashion was leading me, a large sign popped into view. The giant sign that had once read Flankfurt, had 'furt' scribbled out in red (probably blood).
"Th- This is Flank?! Wha-" several mumbles later I decided that mindlessly mumbling was getting me nowhere, so I just sat in silence.
"This town had once been a nice trading route, there was plenty of plants... or was that... I don't- Maybe I'm thinking of Appleloosa I believe they call it New Appleloosa now. I don't know what's what anymore..."
Fashion gave me an odd look, pursing her lips and looking around for a way of helping me. "You know what always cheers you up after a mental breakdown?"
"A hug?" I asked meekly.
"Booze!"
She had a point, booze did cheer me up. And she really wanted to go to that club so I figured it would be good for the both of us. Fashion was smiling hopefully, in the stupid way that only she could.
She dragged me along over to a stable in the wall, marked 69 with the 8 in the ones place scratched out to become a 9. She knew this place surprisingly well considering that I was a few decades behind on my current events (not so current huh?).
Upon entering we made our way down the pinkish hallway, and made a left to a large opening that must have once been a cafeteria (now a strip bar).
Several provocatively dressed ponies passed us, giving sideways glances as they did so. Not like they were in a place to look down on us. A couple attempted to flirt with us, but only Fashion seemed interested in their sultry looks.
The only thing that my eye landed on was the bar. There was so much liquor! Rum, gin, whiskey, Wild Pegasus, you name it! I nearly hopped to the bar, and sat on the nearest stool.
“Sup, fine lady? You’re an awfully pretty barmaid, don't you think? I mean, you got the whole look, the curves, the colors, the eyes, you busy later? Whatever, just get me a whiskey and I’ll be out of your mane.” Most of what I was saying was just to get a discount. She was really pretty though, surprisingly so for someone working the bar at a strip club.
With a blush the mare turned and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass, filling one with the other and waving her hips and swaying as she did each action.
"You're new around here? I haven't seen you and I've worked here all my life. Not much else to do in this town. What's a kid doing in a club like this anyway?" She had a pretty voice, beyond her act, it was smooth and low, like fine molasses.
With a roll of my eyes I answered her, trying not to let her get on my nerves. "Lady, I guarantee you I'm 4 times your age at least. Last time I was here it was a trade route, or I think, it's been so long-" I could tell she wasn't buying it, "-Just give me my drink, I don't have the energy today. Oh and leave the bottle."
She obliged and went to the other end of the bar without a word.
My alicorn companion, took the bottle and threw down a heavy swig and turned to the dance floor, then to the "private" rooms.
"Well, if you need me you'll just have to find me, I'm gonna have some fun!"
I wasn't going to stop her, it's not like I cared what she did as long as she came back eventually. I would just stick to my alcohol.
I blinked and there was a strange gap in my thoughts, like something was missing, a chunk of life just gone. But a mare sat by my side and drank alone. It's the saddest thing to see in a bar, to see someone drinking alone.
"Hey," I said, with not even the slightest hint of slur. "Why're you alone? If you don't wanna talk about it, at least share a shot with me."
"Just life bitin' me in the ass, what about you?" She had a peculiar voice that didn't match her appearance, while her coat was bright blue and her mane a neon red, one of her eyes was a strange sort of electric green while the other was red. Her voice was fairly deep for a mare. And one thing stuck out, quite literally, as she had a pair of wings that sat on her slim body.
"Ah, that's just the memories trying to dig the way out of their hole. Alcohol is my way of filling the hole with cement for a while. What's your name?" I don't usually like knowing names because she's just gonna die before I can say picklebarrelcumquat, But I'm a little tipsy so, meh.
"Name's Raspberry Slush. You?"
"Honestly, I don't even know! I was never actually given a name at birth. Just kinda shoved into the world and abandoned."
"Bummer, well how old are you? Whatcha look like? Come on let's get acquainted!"
I contemplated letting her know me, my story maybe. But she didn't deserve that burden, of worrying about a kid trapped in an adults world.
"Nah, sorry I don't really like to get to know ponies. It doesn't end well for me..."
"What? You a ghoul? That's why you got the cloak and stuff right? All cryptic and shit? Kinda sucks cause you're a kid but if you are, you're old enough to know stuff. But if you were a ghoul... your voice is smooth... What's up with you?" So many questions, so little will to answer.
"Let me get a few more bottles in me, then maybe we'll talk."
She smiled and called over the bartender, I ordered a few bottles of rum and started drinking.
"You wanna know about me?" She said after a short wait, most of the silence was me chugging down what I could of the beautifully warm liquid.
"Not really, just makes it hurt more when you die." I said dryly, taking a long pull off of the bottle.
"I was born in a slave camp, the after effects of rape, and my mother died in birth. I spent about 10 years there before it was liberated by Steel Rangers, they left us to die and took all our food and medicine. But still the slavers were dead! I lived off of whatever wasn’t looted from… anywhere, and dit that as long as I could, somewhere around 8 years. Until I found this place, got a job at the inn and lived decent for once in my life."
That's the summary version, I was too busy chugging three bottles of rum to really pay attention. So she was about 20 and had a "hard life" depends on who you ask.
"Yeah I've spent about 40 odd years in and out of slave camps, I'm reliable since I'm wasteland proof. Don't have a mom or dad. Just me and the world!" As I spoke I waved a hoof in her direction in an intoxicated gesture.
"Oh… well that fucking sucks! That must've been boring as shit."
"Yep! Everyone I met died in all of those camps! I've let over 600 friends die because I was tired of helping them!" Another gesture in her direction and a sip on the bottle in my hoof. Only it was empty. "Aww, why is the rum always gone?"
"Oh Celestia, I can't imagine... That's so awful,"
"Hun Celestia is looong dead. I knew her actually, was brought to her as a "successful experiment". Saw her and Luna die in the pink cloud attack of Canterlot. Fucked up day for Equestria. Being old sucks..."
"I-"
"Don't bother, I've gotten plenty of pity already, I even have an alicorn that helps me out sometimes, been with me for about 15 years, she's helpful to say the least."
"Where is she? I didn't see her come in."
"That's kinda the idea Hun, we go about in cloaks for a reason. To hide from those who don't like us. She's probably off in bed with someone, she needs relief every now and then and I'm not gonna do it, she's my friend."
"You're an alicorn?!?!"
"Pshh oh hecks no! I'm really simple, like way more simple than you could imagine. If you don't count ugly as complex."
"Well will you just tell me? I'm probably just gonna end up in a noose by the end of the week anyway, not too much to live for these days..."
Immediately the mood changed. I forgot about my drunkenness for a bit and looked at her with utmost concern.
"Please, please don't say that. If you promise me that you'll live for yourself I'll drop everything on you, but please don't say that. I've my fair share of attempts, but every time I was glad I had a friend to stop me. All of them are dead now-" a wry chuckle escaped my lips "-but there was at least an effort. I've been alive for nearly 200 years and still I find reason to live. In hopes that someday the world will be slightly less bucked up.”
She was silent. She just stared at me and looked sad. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Okay," it was so small and so meek that I almost missed it through the loud music blasting through the vault.
"Not here. Too many onlookers. I'll see if I can get us a room here. Wait here for a minute."
I tossed a bag of 300 some caps on the table, not knowing how much drinks cost and not caring how much I spent. I signaled over the bartender and asked how much for a room. (15 caps a night apparently). I nudged the bag over to her and grabbed Raspberry to take her to the room.
Rancid smells and several moans filled the hall, one of the moans were definitely from Fashion (Good for her). While we walked down the hall the purple light was starting to give me a headache, not really sure why.
The room slowly approached it was nothing extravagant but nice enough all the same. She went in first and I followed like a dog behind her. She plopped down on the bed and groaned as it made a moist squish.
"Gross," I said with a chuckle and she got off, standing in the carpet that was only slightly more clean. "Guess it's time for my end of the bargain." It'd been nearly 60 years since I showed someone my real... Everything. Other than Fashion which was somewhere around 10 years ago, keeping track of time is overrated.
I motioned for her to turn around so I could prepare before letting her see me without my getup. She turned and I slipped out of my cloak, feeling the throwing knives in my pocket tap against my coat.
After a few deep breaths I told her it was okay to turn and she turned.
"You're... White? All white. Even your eyes," she reached to push the bangs out of my face.
I pushed her hoof away with more strength than intended and she recoiled. I spotted my mistake and quickly apologized. "I'm so sorry! I just... Don't touch my bangs, okay? I like them how they are and you wouldn’t believe the effort to get them this way.”
"Okay, I didn't know, sorry." She continued to poke and prod me as she inspected every friendly inch. "You really are all white huh? 200 years old and you don't have a wrinkle or a cutiemark. People don't like you? Why not?"
"Something about it being unnatural and evil. Dunno really. They just don't. If you don't mind I'm going to go to bed, unless you have a better place to stay? This place is kinda..."
"Gross," we said in unison.
A chuckle was shared and she nodded.
"Yeah I have a place a little less... Wet."
We made our way out of the vault, getting looks as she pulled along the cloaked pony toward the inn. We found our way to her room and it was, to say the least, less wet. The layout was relatively the same as the one me and Fashion had stayed in, other than a few trinkets on her dresser.
"It's not much, but it's home," she hopped onto the bed and looked at me. She waved her hooves toward some blankets and such near her bed that I could lay on.
I chucked off my cloak, still a little uneasy about being naked around her, and lay on the provided "bed". I've slept on worse. Much worse.
"Gosh this is embarrassing... Would you mind if I... Ugh, never mind. Goodnight."
It was then that I realized something. When I blanked (haha) out in the bar, that was for a whole day. An entire day gone in the blink of an eye.
"Goodnight!"
And so another sleepless night went by. I haven't slept in months and I still function the same as if I had slept a full night every night. I haven't decided if that's good or bad. Immortality is weird that way.
Now don't take this like it's weird but I kinda watched her sleep. You can never know who you can trust. Also she was kinda cute, but that's not the point. I'm not getting attached or anything.
Shit...
[br]
Skill note: MAX LEVEL (30)
Quest Perk: You're an enchantress! Persuasion attempts are now 20% more likely to succeed
S-7
P-10
E-10
C-10
I-7
A-10
L-10
Eternity Is Bucking Stupid
“Secrets have doors, and doors have locks, locks need keys which you don’t have” -The Cheshire Cat
When morning came, I stood up from my little heap given to me by the ever gracious Raspberry Slush and poked her in the nose a few times in wait of her waking up. When she finally did she stirred and waved a hoof at my face.
“Go’way, ‘m tryin’ t’ sleep,” She mumbled and turned over, revealing her side to my waiting hooves.
I did what any normal pony would do, I left her to her privacy… Yeah. No. I tickled her side until she shot up and let out a small yip. She was glaring at me with the heat of a toaster, I’ve seen worse, and she squint her eyes menacingly.
“Oh, you little!-” She jumped on me with a surprising amount of energy for a mare who had just woken up and tackled me to the floor.
I played along and flipped her over, pushing down on her forelegs to hold her torso in place. She headbutt me and flipped on top of me, holding me the same way I had held her moments ago.
What she didn’t expect however was me kissing her on the lips.
She bounced off of me and wiped her tongue with her, no doubt much dirtier, hooves. “Hey, you cheated!” she shouted, and punched me lightly.
It was then that I realized my mistake, she was being affectionate and that was going to become a serious issue. All these times that I’ve gotten ponies killed, I didn’t want her becoming another statistic. The past was creeping up on me and I could feel it’s bony claws grinding against my fur. I pushed it away and said in a low voice, berefit of any happiness. “Look, I gotta go. I’ll uh… I’ll drop by sometime.”
“Nah. I’m coming with you. That way you can save the trip! Come oooonnnn, it’ll be fun!” She hopped in front of me enthusiastically. How could I say no to that?
“No.”
Oh, I guess that works.
“Pweaze?” She rubbed her hooves against the side of her face and set out the artillery, puppydog eyes.
“What makes you think it would be ‘fun’ to travel with me?” The saying had become a mantra more than a legitimate question. So many times have I just let this slip by, it was time to stand up for what I believed in for once.
“Oh, I dunno, I just figured I would join the little group of monstrosities!” Huh?
I looked at her again, then I realized something I had somehow missed. She wasn’t entirely pony. Instead of veins she had thin wires, barely visible at the spot between her leg and hoof. Wherever a joint should be there were visible divots that had a mechanical joint in place of an organic one. Her wings were made of feathers and flesh but there were a few pinions that were solid metal. Her one green eye glowed (glew?) and there were visible mechanics inside of it. I hadn’t been paying too much attention in my drunken stupor. I guess I missed most of that…
“So… uh… How? What?” I stuttered, I’d never seen anything quite as realistic as she was. I’ve seen cyborgs but nothing like this.
“So I kinda fibbed during my story. I wasn’t really ‘born’ in a slave camp. There was this scientist kinda dude when I first was… awake, I guess. It’s hard to put into words, the feeling of just being. You wouldn’t understand. But anyway, so… yeah! I’m a robot! I was still a slave though, everything else about me is true. I don’t have like awesome laser eyes or anything, but I’m wasteland proof, like you! The Steel Rangers didn’t notice I was a robot so they left me to my… devices.”
I sat, taking it all in. A robot huh? That meant she wouldn’t die on me! An eternal friend! Unless she needed like batteries or something…
“Wait, like me? Hun you don’t want to be ‘like me’, I don’t think you understand just how mentally scarred I am. 200 odd years of trauma don’t exactly make for a sound mindstate. I-” I carefully contemplated my words. Was I really just going to let this robot into our little group of outcasts? She was pretty cute, dammit why did she have to be so flippin’ cute? “- You can come with us.”
“HEE!” I cannot put into words how much she was flipping out. She went from one side of the room to the next, hugging me and slamming into each wall, she bounced furiously across the floor which I didn’t think was possible. “I get to hang out with an alicorn and a blank! Til eternity do us part!” She didn't stop moving for somewhere around a minute, and only when I made a sound that resembled the word ‘air’.
“Yeah, so we need to get you a cloak now. That’s kind of our schtick. For now you can have mine, I have another one. It won’t really fit you, seeing as my size is… you get the point.” I was still the size of a foal, I’d never grown out of my kid body which came with it’s perks and it’s downfalls.
For one I fit in small holes, I could sneak easier, I was always underestimated. But on the other hoof, I never fit into any armor, nobody ever trusts the kid, I was easily picked on by behemoths. I’ve taught myself over the years how to balance out the cons. I can make my own armor and I know at least four types of martial arts, still ponies don’t trust me. It’s their life if they don’t.
She took a few breaths and calmed herself down. “Right, right. Okay. Right.”
I rolled my eyes. She now had my cloak on, and we made our way out of the small building. We had yet to find Fashion, but other than that I had no plans. I usually didn’t unless someone particularly ticked me off.
“-so then we were all like, pew pew clickclickclick zap zap pshew! They never even stood a chance!” Apparently Ras had been telling a story about fighting with some raiders or something, I wasn’t interested, but I pretended to be. She ruffled her feathers with excitement as she droned on about the exciting fight it was. Probably not as exciting as fighting off two ultra sentry bots with only 20 bullets of AM ammo and a rifle with a worn firing pin, but you know…
I decided that we would probably find Fashion in the same place we left her so we headed to the stable. I was less than excited to return, but I would do just about anything for her. She was my buddy and that's what buddys do, or at least they did… I don't really know how things work nowadays, I sorta stopped caring after I lost my uh… companion. So many years ago.
I started walking towards the vault with Slush in tow when I spotted a familiar face. There was a travelling merchant not far away, leaning against a wall with a smoke in his mouth and his signature hat covering his eyes. His brahmin (I still don’t really know how they exist it’s like a mixture of a cow and a bull but whatever) was by his side drinking from a trough that sat against the building.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Wide Brim! Long time no see, what’s it been 180 years? I could never forget that face of yours, still as young as the day we met.”
The friendly face of a long time friend was one thing you rarely got to see in the wasteland. Everybody either died or became an enemy over time but the scavenger that stood in front of me always had a kind heart, if it still worked anyway.
I remember way in the beginning when he helped me out in a firefight. He could have just left me to die but he used his well earned bullets to lend me a hoof. Even after he got riddled with lead, on my behalf, he smiled and gave me supplies. A tiny gesture in itself but it was everything you could hope for in the wasteland.
Even after he had given me his kind help, which I didn't deserve, I’d never actually paid him back...
Slush stopped her story and was now apparently intrigued in our encounter with a new face.
“Well a fine howdy to you too Miss! I believe it’s closer to 190 but my memory isn’t what it used to be. And, well shucks I’m glad you still think I’ve got the mug of an 80 year old, but I’ve been told otherwise-” He lifted his eyes from the hat and smiled revealing a whole 1/4 row of rotten teeth some replaced with fake enamel. The flesh on his face was peeling and seeping with all sorts of bodily fluid. “-What brings a legend like you to a town like this? And whatever happened to that N-”
He was stopped by a mouth full of hoof. “Do NOT. Speak. His name!”
He pushed me off and worked his mouth a few times, several teeth falling out. “Oh, that’s right. Sincere apologies ma’am, I forgot about his… untimely demise. But you still have one question to answer It’s the least you could do to help an old timer like myself.” I decided to void the fact that I was older than him and humor him.
“Apology accepted. Anyway, I’m not a legend anymore you, know that. I flipped my bit and killed an entire village of innocent ponies remember? The DJ was all over it.” After a brief pause of him stroking his chin and squinting his eyes he perked up.
“Raght, raght, now ah remember. Well it was a fine acquaintance, Bon, hope to see you around some time. Good luck.” He bent his hat down and pushed it up again in a friendly farewell, a gesture that seems to have been otherwise lost to the wastes.
“As to you Brim,” when I turned and saw Slush with her mouth agape and eyes wide I could only think of one thing to say. “What?” Honestly I was lost. I’d never gotten a reaction like that, but then again I never really talked to anyone.
“You… were a hero?! And your name has something to do with ‘Bon’?I need all the information,” She pulled a notebook from her frazzled red mane and a pen from her tail. Why she just had those is none of my business. Reminds me of a certain pink party pony from a long time ago...
“Yeah I guess I was. I went by the name Bonnie and my… partner… was Clyde. You know like the legendary outlaws Betting Bonnie and Clyde Clawton? We were more roguish figures that did the right thing, but yeah to most we were heroes. Never again…”
“What? But everybody is becoming heroes these days! You were like the OG of the wasteland! Heroes these days follow in YOUR hoofprints! You’re trying to tell me that isn’t the coolest thing?!” Okay so now I am well aware that this cyborg is a few circuits short of a proper rationalization system. I guess I can’t blame her, the ponies who built her were probably malnourished and forgot to add a few things.
“Yeah well. That’s the past. I’ve moved on, matured. I’m not as reckless as I used to be and I’m a better mare for it. Being a hero never helped anyone.” I noticed that Wide Brim was starting to head out and I shouted to him. “Hey Brim! I almost forgot, I have something to give you. In hope of tying up loose ends.”
He turned around and started walking over towards me again, his brahmin just stayed where they were, probably talking about how good hay tasted or something.
“Shucks, you know you don’t hafta. It was just a simple, shoot this guy and don’t let this one die sitchiation.” He was smiling under his hat, he knew he wanted something but he didn’t want to appear self centered. Yet another trait that the wasteland ground into dust.
“Oh, you know you want it. Here,” I reached into a pocket and pulled out a bullet with words engraved in a strange language on the casing. It was nothing special to me but ponies everywhere freaked out whenever somepony showed up with one. It was really a simple .308 bullet that had a very firm and pointy tip, an armor piercing head. They were magically enhanced to punch through literally anything and when it hit organic material the target would just disappear, along with the bullet. I made them, so really it wasn’t that big a deal.
When he took it from my hoof he shed a tear, or at least some sort of pus came out of his eye, and held it to his flakey chest. “Ah, just don't know what to say… Thank you!” He hugged me, which was to say the least, unpleasant. I can’t say that having all sorts of flesh peeling off and sticking to you is a bad thing but it was really gross. When he pulled back there was a spot of hide missing.
“Oh, heh, sorry bout that,” he reached over and grabbed the flesh and stuck it back to his chest. I nearly vomit when it turned crooked. He looked over the bullet again. “I’ll treasure it always.”
He tilt his hat again and left. He really was a special guy.
“What.” Rasberry thoughtfully said from by my side, I nearly forgot she was there. “So what’s the deal there? Storytime!” She was so weird…
“Basically, he helped me a while back, I gave him something special in return. I give these bullets to everyone who helps me, I get bored so I engrave their name on it and ‘Forever, my thanks’ in zebra on the casing. They aren’t really that special, just AP rounds that dissolve the enemy.” I could tell Raspberry wasn’t very happy with the bare bones of a story.
“You suck, you know that? So what did he do? Why was he so happy over the bullet? I want details!” She practically yelled.
“It’s none of your business.”
“PLEEEEAASSSEEE!” breath “COME OOOOONNNN I WAANNA KNOOOOW!” I face hoofed deeply. Why must I be cursed?
“OK, but only if you shut up about it.” She nodded happily and grabbed her notebook again. Was she taking notes on me? “You only get short answers though, it’s private stuff.” She nodded again. “Yes. Saved me. I barely give them out.” She frowned.
“You’re a buttmunch.” How dare she!
“I barely even know you! Why should I have to tell you all about my private life? I think it’s your turn for storytime.” I pointedly argued. She was picking on me, so I should get to pick on her.
“You do realize I’ve been telling stories for the past half hour right?” Oh yeah. I wasn’t paying attention. “But No! You have to not pay attention!” She grumpily pouted. “Whatever, we’re at the stable.”
And sure enough we were. The same giant gear of a door in the ground sat open, inviting all who want a good time in. We weren’t looking for a good time, but instead for someone who was having a good time.
We zigzagged our way through the sexy ponies until we stood by the room we heard Fashion in the other night. I didn’t bother knocking and just pushed the button on the side of the mechanical door. And it smelled. Oh Luna did it smell.
The smell of arousal was literally visible in the air it was so thick. Aside from the smell the room just felt dirtied with sex. The alicorn of the name Fashion Frenzy sat under a pile of three stallions and two mares, all holding onto her big body, some holding other things.
“Hey Fashion, ready to go?” I numbly asked, flicking on the light.
“Oh, heey! How are you -hic- doing? I’m having the time of your life! Come onnn join the party! There's room for two more, next to, uhhh, I dnon’t know these poniees! Wait two? Who’s your girly friend? I bet you two didn't have as much fun as I did last night!”
Raspberry blushed and spoke in a soft whisper to me. "Is this how she usually acts? I expected an alicorn to be more... proper.”
I turned to her and nodded. “Yeah, at least when she has fun ponies to be around.”
“So, have you two… you know?” She asked innocently, it was pretty cute. Reminds me of someone… Ouch okay no more thinking.
“Pssh, nah. I’m still a virgin, as long as you don’t count watching.” She turned all sorts of shades of red.
“Oh, well no. I wouldn’t but… really? 200 years and you’ve never had your fields ploughed? I mean I haven't either, but I’m fourteen.” This was getting awkward, real fast.
“Come on Fashion, we got to go if we want to do The Thing. [Mission Objective added: Do The Thing.] We might not make it if we don't go in the next hour.” I drawled, ignoring the weird look Rasberry was giving me.
“OH, The Thing! Gotcha,” she shoved all the ponies on top of her off, some of them whining a little at the loss of their oversized toy. She picked one of the mares up and kissed her passionately. “I’ll be back for you.” She whispered.
As we all walked out, Raspberry admired the alicorn that stood by her. “So, you guys? What exactly is the thing we’re supposed to be doing?” she never took her eyes off of the flowing mane of the beauty we called Fashion Frenzy.
“No no no, The Thing. With capital letters see? The Thing, the thing. See the difference?” She looked at me with an expression that read, ‘uh huh crazy lady’. “It makes more sense when you’re reading it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Don’t worry about it.” There really was no “The Thing” we had to do. For all I cared she could call it “the thing” if she wanted, it was just a distraction that me and Fashion had made up to keep ponies busy. [Objective Failed: Do The Thing]
We were finally outside of the gross stable and in the fresh air. We had no other business here other than finding something to do. So we headed to the one place that always had information. The bar.
The streets were fairly quiet, quiet as in there was a minimum amount of gunfire or explosions, which really felt strange for the wasteland. It was calm and I'm not sure if I liked it. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want ponies to be dying left and right, but without sound ringing off of the walls and piercing my ears with the cries of the indolent, I felt… empty.
The three of us, Fashion, Raspberry, and myself finally found our way into what appeared to be the town bar. I couldn’t say for sure due to the several druggies conked out and sitting against whatever surface appeared to be semi solid. There were syringes and such lying haphazardly over most of the surfaces, all of them empty. The little building was in fair condition, I wouldn’t call it good per se, but it was habitable. After walking into the small building there was a bar on the left with shelves of drugs behind it, and suddenly everything clicked.
The once bar now drug store’s owner stepped up to the bar and shouted at our little rag-tag group. “Well hay! How ken I help yer? We got chems, and chems, some chems, and chems! What’ll it be? Chems?” He drawled.
I stepped closer to him and my little group followed behind, all spooky like. A gang of hooded fellows usually tends to put ponies on edge but this guy just lazily smiled while a bit of dribble rolled out of the side of his mouth. I let out a long sigh. This guy was gonna be a piece of work.
“You got any odd jobs? I’m lookin’ for work.” I said in a snarky tone. I really didn't have the nerve to deal with this guy for long.
He pulled out some Dash and took a long pull before looking at me again, this time with wild eyes and a little bit of foam pouring from his mouth. Why did he have to be a psycho? Didn’t he ever hear “don’t get high on your own supply”?
“Oh yeahyeahyeah, wegotwork. Plentyo’work, so all I need you todo is go out and get abuncha stuff from some ghouls. Theres prolly some gunz and stuff there too, allweneed is the drugs everything else is all yours. Little place pretty far from here, don't worry about time constraints er anyting, we got all the time in the moon. Wait, moon? Nonono World, yeah world. You know what to do, gogogo. Shoo.” After he finished his fast talking half of a debrief he started to slunk in his seat as he fell off of his brief high, he must have been a usual user for it to be so short.
“You, didn’t tell us where to go…” Raspberry pipped up from behind. I was glad she was taking initiative here, I was done with this guy.
“Uhhhh, you gotta like, go… East, man. There’s like this bunker thing or something… You just gotta like, find it man. You gotta center yourself and the answer will be revealed dude.” Fucking druggies, man. Shit! It’s rubbing off!
[Mission Added: Of Drugs and Pone]
Without another word we turned and left the small once-bar. I was a little mad there was no booze, but I could live. I still have a supply I could dig into and it’s in the general direction of east, I think. Without any clue of how far our objective was I couldn’t tell if we were going to come across it anytime soon.
“So we have an objective now? Are we supposed to go do that, I mean giving drugs to these ponies seems like it will just cause them health issues in the future.” Who was she to judge their choices, a fucking preacher? Raspberry the preacher, has a nice ring to it.
“Trust me hun, they’re better off if you give them their drugs. The last thing you want is a town full of ponies that are all having a moral crisis over trying to get over their habit. It’s by far in the top ten of most annoying thing in the wasteland.”
If you are having an argument with your own choices, you really have lost all hope for being a good pony. If you even so much as have to doubt killing, you’re not long for this world. And if you regret killing, you will never be a hero. Everything you do has to be morally justified to the point that even the youngest can agree with your decisions. If you have to argue with yourself, that means you don’t have time to deal with protecting yourself, you’d be too busy asking “what if” to save yourself.
“So what’s number one?” I figured she would ask as much.
“In my professional opinion? Ponies that ask the wrong questions.”
[br]
We found ourselves standing at the gate, mentally preparing ourselves for the adventure ahead of us. Adventure never lead anywhere good, but I figure, what do I have to lose? My morals? Nope. My companions? So long as they actually listen (which I just know they won’t) I’ll be good in that department. My sanity? Now that’s a hard one, if I still have any left what is the breaking point? What happens when everything I know collapses on me? Do I go raider? Or worse… a storyteller?
I could tell I was being waited on by the apprehensive glares my compatriots were giving me. “So it begins.” I mumbled in an attempt not to be heard. But I could tell that Ras heard me. Cheating cyborg powers…
“So it does.” She said as the gate peeled itself open like a giant moldy piece of crust from a piece of bread made of (semi)solid metal. It quite literally squealed as we stepped through, I could hear the clicking of gears from the edge of the now open doorway it was an unsettling sound to say the least, gears (well maintained) shouldn’t make that noise. Not my problem at least.
Oddly enough the wasteland smelled… fresh. Rather than the usual musty and blood caked smell that it usually held, there was a slight tinge of gunmetal and cleaner in the air. Sadly that was just the smell of the travelling merchant outside the gate, working his rifle to the bone as he cleaned it for an unhealthy amount, considering the condition.
I waved a hoof at him. “Hey Monty.”
He waved back. “Hey Wanderer.”
And that was that. We left him to his, quite literal, devices and started walking east. As far as objectives went that was our primary directive. Just go east. Suuure, why not shove us into the deadly, devoid of blankets, wasteland and expect us to just know what we were trying to find. I want my blankie…
“Hey, that guy back there called you Wanderer, what’s the story with that?” Raspberry really was the ever curious one, she apparently thought I wanted to talk.
I heard Fashion chuckle from my left and glared at her through my hood. She just smiled wider. “Oh you’ve not heard? The Wanderer is the wasteland’s everlong hero. She’s been around for as long as DJ-Pon3 can remember. Every now and then a story is heard about the hooded mare showing up in places where bad thing happen to bad guys.” I felt like ripping her skin from her face and dousing it in gasoline, putting it back on and striking a match in her nostril.
I settled with pinning her down and punching her a few times in the face.
She got up brushed herself off and shoved her muzzle back into its standard position. “Yep, she’s a real HERO.” I punched her again sending her to the ground once again.
“You know I hate you right?” She nodded. “Good just making sure we were sound on that subject.”
Raspberry was staring at me with a glare that could melt metal, It’s a good thing I’m a rock. “You’re STILL a hero? I thought you said they all just ended up dying so you weren’t one. You need to get your facts in line.”
“Yeah well I can’t die okay! I have tried, and by some fudged up force of evil I’m destined to live! Do you have any idea how hard it is to look at the world you once knew through a kid’s eyes and see that beautiful, peaceful place torn to bits by the stupid war over who gets what? I watched the world I knew crumble into hate and absolution, then when I finally came to terms, I was drafted to fight for it! I got to literally stand up for everything I hated! I got to sit and literally watch everyone I ever knew, those I loved, die! I watched in utter horror as every pony I have ever known, every friend, every love get ripped to shreds through the scope of my rifle. War is hell, kid, and I’ve been living in hell for the past 190 some years.”
Ras just slumped to the ground. At least she stopped talking. I blinked away a wetness in my eye and continued walking. Fashion stayed with Raspberry and consoled her. I could see the stupid grin on her face. Even though my back was turned and she had a cloak on, I could see that fucking grin...
“It’s high time I caused some trouble.” I muttered to myself. Last I knew there was a slaver camp somewhere near by. I could take their ammo then attack them just for the fun of it. Or I could just walk up and blow them to bits… choices choices. Numbers numbers, math math math, I pick this one. As I pointed to the right. I had chosen left for stealth center for stay neutral and right for “Fuck ‘em up”. This was going to hurt! [Sidequest Added: Strip the Flesh]
I aimlessly wandered around for about an hour or so, trying extra hard not to focus on how I mouthed off to Raspberry. She really didn't deserve it, I’m just a stupid pony that doesn’t know that ponies don’t know when to back off. Oh look, I'm thinking about it!
My thoughts were slammed to the wall as I caught a glimpse of the camp I was (hopefully) in search of. Tall spires of gore and ponybits stood erect from the makeshift gate of the makeshift town. The walls were made of any scrap you could find in the wastes; wagon bits, bones, gas containers, even a mailbox with a familiar face painted on it.
Taking in all the gore and viscera that littered the area I realized that this couldn’t be slavers, it had to be raiders. I let out a small sound of achievement, I could kill them and not feel bad about it! Killing and not feeling bad about it was really good for forgetting your issues. I should know.
The only weapons I had on me were my throwing knives and these sick guns! I flexed my forelegs to noone and set my muscular hooves back on the ground. I fiddled with the knives in my pocket until they rested in the small little sheaths on my foreleg. I created it so it functioned like a revolver cylinder, I just pumped my hoof out fast enough to get velocity and they flew at my targets one at a time, in an order.
Since I picked to just go in head on, I stepped closer to the gate and chucked daggers at the two guards that were sitting watch, or rather picking their noses and eating dirt from their hooves, raiders were weird. I took a deep breath and kicked open the metal “door” and prepared for the worst.
After a moment of confusion a guard that was sitting in a chair with a hooffull of cards grabbed a rifle from next to him and shoved it in his mouth, firing off a few low calibre rounds in my direction. Since I could tell he wasn’t going to hit me any time soon, I took the strategic approach of looking for other imminent threats before going after the inaccurate waste of a pony that was shooting at me.
My choice was rewarded with the sight of a tiny unicorn sighting me in with her assault carbine. A few bullets whizzed by me, while another few ripped holes in my cloak, she was going to pay for that! Nevermind the blood pouring down my legs I smiled wickedly and threw a poison tipped dagger at her, she didn’t get rewarded with mercy, just more pain.
The initial pony managed to get a hit on me, when I turned to deal with him I counted at least eight others circling me. This was going to be FUN!
Each leg held 6 daggers and I’d used 3, leaving me with 5 on my left and 4 on my right. I had the conveniently perfect amount to tear these guys to bits and chunks. My first target was the pony with his rifle already in position, a danger to the chest solved that.
I looked next for the ponies that were second and third readiest, skipping over them I looked to the least ready and planted a dagger in his withers. I was rewarded with a few pellets of lead ripping into my flank and the stinging that followed. The rush of adrenaline and want-to pushed me through the pain as I targeted the least ready ponies. The armed ones were too busy trying to catch my movement to hit me too easily, my strategy was to get rid of as much firepower before it could even start.
I pushed my forehooves in two opposite directions, piercing two ponies on either side of me. Leaving me with 4 targets and 4 daggers. All four had their weapons drawn and I was fresh out of good luck. A bullet pierced my leg right at the joint in my left foreleg. That left my poison dagger out of question, leaving me with 1 dagger and 4 targets. Oh and a useless foreleg which is vital to balance and movement with short range weapons. Eh, I could do it.
They seemed to stop for a minute, probably waiting to knock me out and imprison me. Fucking raiders.
“She purrty,” One of them said and her received a kick from the mare beside him.
“She also murdered an eighth of our gang, I say we kill her!” Nevermind her poor math skills, the pony in front pulled out a hefty revolver and pushed the barrel to my head. How chivalrous!
“I want to play a game…” Fuck his game, I want to play the slicey dicey game! I lifted my head up to knock the gun out of his magical grip and reached my mouth down to my left foreleg, grabbing a poison dagger and cutting his face with it, just barely drawing blood. By the time I did all that he had a hoof rammed in between my shoulders with my chest on the ground, I could hear a few cracks that were mind bogglingly relieving, my back had’t popped like that in ages.
“That was pathe...t..ic.-” Then he fell over as the poison flowed through him. Now relieved from my ever comfortable condition on the ground I grabbed another dagger and chucked it at the stallion that had been ogling me.
The mare pointed her rifle at me with her magic and adorned a menacing grin. Mine was bigger, because I was having fun. “End of the line kid! You’re mine! Fork, tie her up.” She turned to look a the missing stallion, she moved her gaze to the ground to find him lying in a pile of blood. “Whatever, I’ll just kill ya!”
I smiled even wider as the gun hammered on empty. I even gave her a chance to reload, I just calmly stood there, dripping in blood. Eventually she tossed the rifle away and smiled at me. “So hoofsicuffs then?” I nodded and took a fighting position, legs set apart in a stance prepared for a jump. “And they say no honour among thieves…” She darted at me and pushed me to the ground in one motion. She had her hooves pressed firmly against my neck and her tail somewhere not so nice. Me being the ever graceful pony I am, I just smiled for a minute as she struggled to choke me.
“Hey your tail feels pretty nice down there, can you feel the dagger pressed against yours?” With one final look of shock she opened her eyes wide in an instant. They slacked just as fast as the enchanted blade ripped through her viscera from loins to chin with ease. There truly was no honour among thieves.
After murdering an entire village of raiders and retrieving my blades from each corpse, my cloak was a few pounds heavier with caps and junk, some bullets and such as well. I picked up some armor plates as well as a few… clothing items. I tinkered with my armour for a while until I heard a knock on the giant gates of this little town that I claimed as my own.
“Come on iiin, you’re missing the fuun!” I shouted as I prepared for a battle, even though I was 90% sure it was my companions.
They didn’t even bother opening the gate to trigger the traps I set up in my free time, they just flew over the gate and landed by me. Fucking cheaters.
Fashion spoke up first. “I see you’ve… redecorated.” She said motioning at the raider that lay flayed open while their entrails sat nearby in the mock shape of a body.
I nodded happily. “Yep! I even got me some fancy clothes! Do you like my scarf? I got it from him over there, such a nice fellow.” I said waving the large intestine that hung around my neck. “I also got this new coat.” I said pulling on the pony hide that sat on my shoulders, it was nice and juicy, I mean warm, yeah warm.
“I think I’m gonna hurl.” Raspberry said as she turned around and threw up explosively in the dirt.
“Oh, it’s not that bad! You should see me when I’m drunk! I even got you a gift!” I said poking her in the back with the weapon in my hoof. She turned around and just stared at me with empty eyes, she was terrified by my actions. Good.
“Oh Luna above….” She retched again as she took the weapon in her grasp, weighing it on her hooves and giving it a few swings to test its mobility. “What gave you the idea of making a sword out of… bone?” She whispered so softly a mouse would have trouble understanding her if the mouse spoke Pony, that is. She was honestly scared of me, and that was what I wanted.
“Oh it’s a family recipe! Get it? Because I’m a nutcase experiment gone wrong? HAHAHAHAHA I crack myself up!” I looked at her, sad at what I had to do to get her to run away from me, she was so split between talking to me and shying away that she just trembled.
“You’re insane!” Perfect, now to go in for the kill.
“Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?” She shook her head and backed away from me as I took a predatory stance. I lunged forward on top of her, drooling on her face.
“Please, don’t kill me!” And with that, I collapsed into tears. I couldn’t handle having to do this anymore. Fashion just tsked in disapproval.
“Really thought you were gonna go through with it this time. Here,” She tossed me a bag of 500 bits. “Now get off the poor kid, she doesn’t know what's going on and having a situation in which you, a ravenous monster, pounced on her, a meek little kid-robot-thing, doesn’t bode well for one’s sanity.”
I slowly peeled myself off of her, crying as I made my way over to the pile of skulls I had stacked up from the encampment and I lay next to it. “I’m so sorry. You have died for my own cause and it didn’t prevail anyway. I’m sorry, except for you-” I booped a skull that sat at the bottom. “-You at least tried.”
I cried for the fallen, I cried for myself. I just cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. And boy did I have a lot of crying to do…
[br]
[Sidequest completed: Strip The Flesh - Weapon Item: Salt The Wound! has been added to Raspberry Slush's inventory. This item can be renamed at any time, but only once.]
[br]
Nearly an hour later I still sat at the base of mt. Skull Thingy with dry eyes and a relatively clean conscience. I could hear Fashion and Raspberry talking over somewhere behind me. Ras had stopped crying in fear and had a tone more of concern. The last thing I needed was pity and I hope Fashion punctuated that rigorously. By the way she had a laugh in her voice I doubted it.
I slowly stood up and I could feel the dried blood cracking against my hide. Every movement a crack could be heard. I must have been terrifying all drenched in blood like that. What I could see of my white coat was coated in crimson. Even though it was an act, I was a monster. There was no denying it now. This wasn’t the breaking point, no that was long ago. This was simply me coming to terms. And so the thought resonated through my mind over and over again.
“She’ll never forgive you”
It was weird because I didn't want forgiveness, I wanted death, but I suppose that was too much to ask for. Death isn’t a thing to be feared in the wasteland, it’s something you welcome with open legs and invite it in for a cuppa.
Fashion bristled slightly as she saw me walking toward them, but when she saw I was calm she settled and lay her wing over Raspberry affectionately. She was the true hero among us. Fashion and her weird ass way of calming us down.
When Raspberry caught sight of me she lurched back separating herself from Fashion’s grasp. “Get the fuck away, you monster!” At least it was better than being shot first then called a monster. “Please, I just want to go home… I… I want to be in a safe place where everypony gets along. I want to be free of the wasteland…”
As calmly as I could, I spoke, “That’s called death, kid. Sorry to say but there is no safety in life and I can’t prove anything about afterlife.” She at least let me finish talking before throwing a rock at me. It landed in my eye and I rubbed it trying to make it stop stinging.
“The- Then that’s what I want! I want a chance at peace. Please!” She pulled the heavy revolver from my cloak and held it against her head, pulling the trigger right as it lined up.
You can’t imagine my horror at watching that happen to a pony. It’s happened before sure, but this time it appeared as if time slowed as I watched the compression of the hammer and just watched…
As it fell on an empty chamber. I could see the look on her face of fear and confusion. She dropped the gun on the ground and just looked at it, backing away like it had the will to kill her.
“I- I just…” She didn’t finish and just collapsed to the ground in tears.
Fashion started to walk toward her with a look of concern. She looked at me for a second and caught me shaking my head. It wouldn’t help trying to tell her it was okay, because it wasn’t. Almost committing suicide isn’t really something you just get over.
“Come on, let’s make sure I didn’t miss anything.” I turned over to Raspberry although she was muzzle deep in her forelegs I spoke to her, “Look, don’t go anywhere we’ll be right back.” I saw the slightest of nods and turned away.
Fashion was looking at the dirt with the same stupid smile as always. “You know, she’s a lot like you. I just can’t believe she actually tried. I’m glad you keep your guns unloaded. Thanks.” She was looking at me with her stupid face, and I just chuckled at her.
“Actually, I didn’t even check that one. I was too busy getting dressed-” I waved my impromptu scarf at her. “-I have the best taste in fashion you know.”
She was too busy being pale to laugh at my joke. “Y- you mean… She could have died you idiot!” She barraged me with little punches that barely even made me break stride. “SHE. COULD. HAVE. DIED!” She screamed, punctuating each word with an increasingly harder punch.
“Eh, they come and go I guess.” Oh boy did that make her upset.
She grabbed me in her magic and threw me very hard into the dirt. A few times. Then into a wall, mind you these wall aren’t in good condition so I ripped through it and got gashes along my sides. When she finally stopped throwing me around like a plaything, I lay on a very pointy rock. Oh, nevermind that was a piece of my rib.
“Yep. I prolly, deserved tha’ one.” I said through a mouthful of dirt and chipped teeth. I was bleeding out along the sides of my body and there was pieces of glass and metal sticking out of my face, but I’d probably live through it.
“You THINK!?” She huffed and flew off. That was rude, I was just trying to lighten the death of an unwanted guest.
After bleeding out for a little bit, I pushed the piece of rib back inside me and chugged down a healing potion I lifted from the camp. It tasted disgusting as always, but at least the magical liquid helped a little. As far as healing potions went for blanks, they sucked and were a waste for us. Maybe they stopped the bleeding, but that was if you were lucky. Good thing I’m lucky.
I didn’t feel liquid pouring out of my sides so I lay comfortably on a pile of regret and physical pain.
Mmm a nap sounded good about now. Maybe I can nap forever? If only I were so lucky…
~/~
“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Scoutsy! Happy Birthday to yoooou!” My squadmates sang in several different pitches and a few tempos. It wasn’t my birthday but they had just learned that I didn’t even know it. They decided that now was as good a time as any to have one.
“How old are you nooow?” Radar sang. He was our recon so we called him Radar, I honestly don’t know his real name.
“I’m 14.” I said flatly, That was right around the time I stopped caring how old I was. It was really just an educated guess because I had no true idea.
“Oh. well I hope you grow into a proper mare some day?”
“I don’t grow up you imbecile.” He chuckled nervously and handed me a canteen full of some sort of homebrewed alcohol to get himself out of the awkward situation.
I took it graciously and took a heavy swig. He looked at me weird, but looked away when I glared at him. He left and went to talk to some other mares, he was such a player. I honestly felt a little bad for him, he left his kid to fight for Equestria. We all left something when we left for war...
Ponies milled about in the trench, my short celebration was over, we had some stripes to kill. The fuckin’ zebras wouldn’t wait for us to attack so we had to be on alert at all times. The war was still fresh in our minds, the shock of our perfect little world falling apart still hitting all of us hard.
“Scout! Hey Scout!” A mare from over by the impromptu comm center called out to me.
I turned around and saw her waving at me, her outfit was crooked as always, she needed to learn to put that thing on. The green cloth was inside out and you could see the stitches, the pockets weren’t even accessible!
“What do you want, Aftershock? I was busy ignoring you. Make it quick I have orders from the Lieutenant to report.” I was standing in front of her now, and she was just as backwards as her clothes were.
“I just wanted to say happy birthday! I heard the guys talking about it so I got you a little something!” How she got something for me in such a short time I’ll never know, but I guess it's just Aftershock doing her thing.
“What is it?” She lifted a hoof over her eyes to tell me to close my eyes and I did, not after rolling them of course. I felt something small in my hoof and I opened my eyes. “Oh, wow… Thank you Dinky! I can't believe this!” I fiddled with the small bullet for a moment before grabbing her up in a hug. The .308 bullet had a little saying etched into it in pony. ‘Send ‘em to hell’ it said.
“If you tell anypony I hugged you, this is going right to your head.” She nodded with a smile and I gave her another hug. “I gotta get going, but thanks a lot, I’ll treasure it always.”
“No problem! See ya!” She was a good kid, just old enough to get drafted and here she was, sending artillery over to the fucking stripes.
I started making my way over to where I was requested, it was gonna be a long walk.
~\/~
I woke up leaning against the same pile of dirt as when I took a little nap. The only difference was that I could hear the two idiots that followed me talking.
“-isn’t that bad. She’ll live, she’s been through worse. Really though it’s the only way to get a point across.” Fashion said, she had a point.
“But, I mean mentally.. Is she okay up there.?” Fashion laughed so hard I could see her on her back without actually having my eyes on her.
“Oh, that- that's a good one! Really funny! But yeah *sniff* no, no she’s definitely crazy.”
“Crazy is an understatement! That mare is insane!” Fashion stopped laughing. And I could hear Raspberry suck in a breath of surprise.
“Did she ever tell you about insanity?” There was a small silence which I assumed was Raspberry shaking her head. “Alright, that’s between you two. But, no she isn't insane, she’s just crazy. Really fucked up in the head. Say you wanna go and wake her up? Just shoot her or something and I’m sure she’ll get the point.”
I heard hoofsteps approaching and a click of a hammer setting. “I’m up! Don’t shoot me!”
“Hmm, now I could do that, but you scared the shit out of me earlier!” When she finally came into view and saw me she put the gun away. “You look like shit.” So I’ve been told.
“I know, now could you help me up?” She shook her head and I rolled my eyes. “What a help you are.” I pushed myself up, trying not to rip open my sides and looked at her with sorry eyes, or I hoped because I couldn’t feel my face. “Look kid, I'm sorry okay? I just don’t want to hurt you!”
“I know, Fashion told me. Which is why we’re good. You and I are on sound terms, I just wanted to be a dick.” Great, how nice.
“Cool, so can you… uh. Help me walk? I kinda have a leg that has a gaping hole in it.” I said, lifting my leg as an example.
“Oh, shit! I didn’t notice! Do you need a healing potion or something?” She moved closer and looked at it carefully. “That’s pretty deep, how are you able to stand up?”
“Lots of practice, and no, I don’t need a potion, they don’t work very well on blanks, save them for yourself. But if you have some bandages and a splint that would be great.” She padded around in her cloak for a second before tossing a rag at me.
“That’s the best I got, sorry. Really? Potions don’t help you? Doesn’t that cause a ton of issues? So what do you do to heal yourself, like there's no way you’ve gone 200 years and not gotten hurt this bad at least.”
“You see, Blanks were made to have perfect insides. So everything heals super fast and I rarely ever have problems with organs. It’s pretty great. But yeah, nothing really heals me, I just take some bedrest and call it good when I can move again” I wrapped the dishrag around my leg as I talked. “But we really should get out of here. I doubt an empty camp will go long without some d-bags trying to take it for themselves.”
She opened her mouth to disagree but I just shook my head. She rolled her eyes and started walking. What did Fashion say to her? This was great!
Still without a shoulder to lean on, I carefully made my way over toward where I had heard them talking a bit ago, and saw fashion licking through her wings. “Preening” they called it, it was supposed to make it so their wings worked right. I don’t have that problem so I don’t really care.
WHen she saw me she narrowed her eyes and scolded my soul in only the way Fashion could. “You hurt yourself again you fucking idiot, this is going to take forever to heal…” She droned, the amount of times she had to say it was becoming quite the list. “Fuck me, he blew your knee out? What were you thinking? Well, it’s your turn. So get to it.”
Knowing exactly what she inclined led me to the many corpses that littered the camp. I checked one after another until I found one roughly the same size as me. Raspberry had been following me curiously, finally figuring out that asking me would get her nowhere.
I sat next to him and held out my hoof to Ras. “Gimme your knife.” She looked puzzled for a moment before widening her eyes and carefully pulling the bone blade from her cloak. “Thanks, now if you're squeamish you might want to go elsewhere.” I waited for her to leave… she didn’t.
I shrugged and dug the blade into his leg right below where his knee was, pushing down on the grip of the knife and popping the small cap out of his leg. It looked the right size enough. I turned to see Raspberry’s expression and instead of horror, she simply looked tired.
“I get it, you need it, take it. That’s all a thief does.” The way she said “thief” made it seem like an insult. The only type of pony that lives in the wasteland is one who takes what they need, no matter the cost. She was too young to know that, I suppose.
I rolled my eyes and carried the small bone over to Fashion. I lay next to her in my back and held out my leg and the knife. She calmly took both and got to work.
Raspberry watched in awe as Fashion carefully pulled each piece of bone from my leg. A field surgery wasn't safe by any means, but Fashion was a fucking alicorn so fuck logic. I barely even lost any blood, the fucking cheater… I was mad at her for being so damn good at what she did.
I casually waited while Fashion did this for what had to be the fifth time in 15 years. “Why the weird face?” I asked Raspberry. She just looked at me with horror.
“You’re still conscious? Why? How? How much if you is actually… you?” She balked. So many questions for a mare so young.
“Well, first of all, Fashion keeps me conscious because she’s a jerk, secondly, practice. I have a lot of that. And lastly, most of me is me still, I just have a real hard time with my legs… and my face come to think of it. How is my face holding up anyway? I can’t feel it so I don’t really know where shrapnel is.” She just laughed awkwardly and looked away. Damn, and I thought I finally had my good looks down.
Fashion finally finished her little game of operation and I had a leg that had another knee cap that wasn’t mine in it. She handed the blood soaked knife over to Ras.
Fashion picked me up in her magic and threw me, quite literally, on her back. Then we flew over the gate, landed on the other side, and started walking east. There wasn't much else to do. Raspberry followed loyally, walking right beside her and me.
“So. What are you gonna name it?” I asked, I got bored and what was silence without a little sound to break it.
Raspberry just looked confused. “What are you talking about? Are you all delusional again? Quick, thwack her or something, maybe she’ll snap out of it!”
Fashion looked at her and decided to help me out for once. “The knife. What are you gonna name it? Everypony knows that every badass weapon has a badass name! You’re trying to tell me that a knife formed from your enemies corpses isn’t badass? Uh-uh sweetie.”
“Hey you can’t call me sweetie, I’m older than you! But I guess you’re right… Give me some time to think about it.”
“What? How’d you know she was younger than you?” I asked in legitimate surprise. Fashion was really only 15 or 16, so that made Raspberry older than her. Only by a few years but still.
“The way she acts and the fact that she’s only been with you for fifteen years. I did a little digging and I know that alicorns are still getting made to this day. It’s possible and it’s true.”
“When did you do digging? You’ve only known her for a day!” I said, noticing that Fashion dropped out of the conversation and focused on walking. Not my fucking business.
“I can dig without you questioning my ability to do so!” She stopped for a moment and smiled. It was a cute look on her, a sincere smile was very rare in the wasteland and she was legitimately enjoying herself. But that never lasted long. “Hey, Fashion, you okay?” Ugh… dammit.
“Careful don-”
“No, I’m not okay, okay? Don't talk about me like I’m just a thing! I have feelings and I have emotions just like you and this fucker on my back! Although I’m not sure of the latter. Look we all know what it’s like to be a… a thing! Ponies created us! We weren’t born, we weren’t meant to have a normal life instead we’re just fucking creations of boredom! Somepony got drunk and said, ‘Hey let’s make an abomination that has to worry if it will ever be accepted because it isn’t a FUCKING PONY.’ We are monsters and that’s all we’ll ever be! Cursed to watch our creators and friends die, because we were designed to fucking suffer!” She whirled on Raspberry and got increasingly closer, scaring the poor girl out of her skin.
This is what I had looked like when I turned on her…
Raspberry visually shrunk and tried to make herself as small as possible, maybe she could get away if she was small enough.
I kicked fashion in the nape of her neck and she fell over, causing me to go rolling on the ground. She lay knocked out before us and I scoot over to Raspberry. I was still caked in blood so it was kinda gross but she became the ninth pony to ever be hugged by me. By the monster.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn to have a mood changing outburst, I swear.” She was trembling. “I’m sorry, humour is my go-to for situations like this. I could be serious if you want but… you don’t I swear.”
“She was right…” She cried, pushing herself more into my hug.
“Yeah. She was…” I leaned my head against hers and shoved some fucking wisdom on her. “But you know what? At least a monster is sane. Normality is something safe. Something that can’t hurt you. But being a monster means that you get a chance to actually live. Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?” She shook her head, small as a mouse.
“Insanity, is doing the same damn thing over and over again, thinking things will change. And you know what normality is? Doing the same thing and hoping things will change for the better. We monsters, we are the ones who are truly sane. We may do the same thing, but we know things will never change… because we watch and observe from behind the curtain, we watch as everyone tries to change the world the same way over and over again, and every time they fail, because things never change.. We are forced to the sidelines and we thank them for their gift, because we truly know that all of ponykind is truly insane, all but the monsters.”
She cried softly into my bloodsoaked cloak and sniffled. She laughed a small laugh. “Why is it that you don’t swear? I’ve noticed that within the day and a half I’ve know you. Every time you have the perfect setup for a swear you use one of those kid friendly words that parents tell their foals to use instead.” Subject McChangey said.
“That’s a story from long ago. It brings so many sad memories-” There was a peculiar wetness under my eyes. Huh. I fucking hated talking about my past. “-If you really want to know, I’ll tell you. I just… would rather not.” I said, choking back sobs.
She nuzzled my chin. “I do like storytime…” She really was just a kid, wasn’t she? The fractured youth…
“Only if you promise to go to bed right after.” I nagged maternally. She nodded her head vigorously against my neck and settled in. We moved into a more comfortable side hug kind of thing, still leaning on each other but not quite as soft and warm.
“Well-” I choked back a weird congested feeling in my throat “-It all started before the mega spells, during the stupid freaking war. I was probably about your age… a little younger no doubt. We were protecting our line from about 1,000 odd zebras, our little platoon barely held a chance. Our Lieutenant backed out on us, rightly so as she would have been killed if she didn’t, she was a fine leader. They would need her elsewhere. No mare left behind, my flank. She was allowed to leave us behind and our entire platoon agreed. Anyway, she’s gone and we all followed our orders to hold the line. The enemy was dropping quicker than we were but our small unit of 200 or so barely had a chance, but we were gonna take as many of them with us so we could taunt them beyond the grave.
“We were dropping like flies. 150, 125, 100 nearly a hundred lives lost within the hour. We fought like hell, we had to have cut them down to about 600 or so when I heard my buddy Radar call out. “We have to hold this line! If not for Equestria do it for whoever you have wronged! One last hurrah to let them know that you aren't the monster that hurt them! More medals for the pony with the most confirmed kills!” He had yelled, and we fought harder. Those small words of wisdom inspired what was left of our unit to fight to the end, for each other.” I noticed that Raspberry was sleeping and the liquid in my eyes told me it was time to stop.
“Finish the fucking story.” She mumbled into my neck.
I sighed but continued. “It was too dire for any of us to come out alive. We were going to take out all of those stripes even if we died in the process. And that's what we did. I was told by our staff sergeant to tell the comms mare to drop artillery on our position. It was a hefty task, but we were all young and we all wanted the war to end, so I did it.
“I went up to my best friend and told her, word for word. “I need you to kill us all”. Her look of defeat and cling of an empty clip still rings in my mind. She just smiled, in the hurt way only someone that is about to kill themselves for the better of everyone else could, and hugged me, the very first pony to hug me and it was because we were all going to get blown up by a few words and numbers.
“I remember her saying, “All of these lives aren’t on your hooves, mine or the Sarge’s, they’re on the stupid zebra’s and we’re going to send them to hell where they belong.” I gave her an oohrah, but it was so cracked and obviously not very spirited because I was about to lose all of my brothers and sisters in arms. We were killing our family due to a stupid war we didn’t start.
“I followed her over to the comms tent and listened as she told the boys with the bfg’s to drop whatever they could spare on our position. As clarification that we were all going to be bombed, she even added. “Safeties off, friendly fire authorized by Sarge Misty Winds. Semper Fi.” The operator had replied with a voice that was understanding. He too returned the gesture and the radio went dead.
“She looked me dead in the eyes and she told me words that I’ll never forget. “If you come out of this alive, which it’s not looking like you will, but if you do, promise me that you’ll be the best you can be. That you’ll never wrong anyone who doesn't deserve it. That the only reason you do wrong is to do a little right.” And I promised. When I did, she did something silly, but since we were all about to die I didn’t care. “Promise with a kiss?” I remember kissing her like my life depended on it. I didn’t like her, in fact she was really annoying, but she was my only true friend and we were about to die, so eh.” I choked again.
“Everyone died but me.” I stopped and took at least 15 shaky, long breaths before continuing. “I was cursed to live though, so here I am. Saved by freaking sandbags. I still have everything from those days… I keep it all locked up in a stable. I have a personal stable given to me for my conviction to the military that holds everything I hold dear to my heart. Nopony but me has been in there ever since I got it, it’s the one special place I can go to to calm down. So there you go. Story time with “Scout” as the army had called me. I was their heavy sniper for vehicles and armored personnel.”
“That was an awful bedtime story, now I’m sad you bitch! I guess she was your inspiration to be a good guy, huh? Doesn’t really explain why you don’t swear though…”
“You asked for it. She didn’t swear, so I don’t. Storytime’s over now go to bed.” I kissed her on the forehead and lay against her side looking at the boring sky. It was dark and it was boring as always. But for some reason, the deep black looked a little more dark gray. If only it could stay this way.
[br]
The crack of what could vaguely be called sunlight peeked through the thick cloud layer, telling me that it was time to start another fucked up day in the fucked up world. It almost felt criminal, waking up the snoring pony with her muzzle buried in my chest, but those are the sacrifices of life.
Instead of being a good pony like my caretaker always taught me to be, I licked Raspberry’s ear and she shot out of her cozy sleep. I’m surprised she didn’t wake up the rest of the wasteland with how loud she was snoring.
She looked around for a second and noticed that she was still leaned against me. She smiled and buried her face into my chest again. “Nah, I think I’m good right here.”
I rolled my eyes to nobody in particular and stood up carefully, minding my leg. And so life goes on.
Raspberry pouted. Suddenly losing a warm, strong and soft at the same time pillow must have been traumatizing. I wouldn’t know since she was squishy and cold, not really a fair trade if you ask me. Eventually though, she got up and moved over to my side to help carry my weight (I'm not fat, okay?) towards Fashion.
The alicorn was on her back with her hair in her face. Each breath she blew out caused it to float up in the air and fall back down slowly. It was a funny sight to say the least, watching such a behemoth in such a compromising position.
“You wanna take this one? She’s ticklish on her belly,” I whispered to Raspberry.
She turned slowly to the large mare in question and smiled evilly. The thought of being able to return the favor of scaring her back must have been extremely enticing, due to the way she looked at Fashion.
She did what I anticipated, she crept up on the innocent alicorn and set her body over the giant’s. With one long motion she drew her tongue from her barrel all the way to her chest.
I laughed as she got kicked in the face by a suddenly awake Fashionista yelling, “What the hell, Wanderer? I was having a fucking great dream!” Once she realized Ras was on the ground holding her nose she rolled her eyes and stared at me. “Jerk. You were there and Ras, and there was even some bondage!”
I could see Raspberry Slush’s blush through her hooves and laughed soft and short. “Sounds great, maybe that dream could come true?” She blushed harder and turned away. “As long as Ras is cool with some girl in girl action?” I didn’t have to see her to know that she blushed harder.
“Don’t worry about it Slushie, she wouldn’t do it… Probably. As long as you don't give her any Haynessy, she’s good.” The dark blue beauty amended.
“If you have Haynessy, I’ll do anything… ANYTHING.” I laughed. Today was off to a good start, which could only mean sadness and depression later. Yay…
“We, should get going… um… yeah. Going. I like Stallions! Fashion grab Wanderer, we’re going east-ish.” She started walking without even so much as turning around and addressing us.
Fashion swooped me up and deposit me on her back, moving faster to catch up to Raspberry. Before we made it to the oddly colored robot she stopped to ask me, “Hey you wanna stop at the place?” Just that question brought bad memories.
“Yeah. Yeah why not?” She nodded.
“I’m proud of you girlie.” Just hearing those words, made me a little lighter on the inside. Knowing that somepony was actually okay with who I was made me… Happy.
We caught up to Raspberry, sans blush, and walked by her side. We were awfully good at walking. Well, aside from me, who apparently was inept in that department.
“So, what now?” Ras asked as we showed up next to her.
“Have you named your knife yet? If not, you should do that instead of bickering.” Fashion responded dryly, still not quite awake.
I pulled out the portable radio from Fashion’s pocket and shoved an energy cell from my own pocket in the back. The splendidly raspy voice of the DJ played over our little group.
Gooood Morning, my little ponies! Just how are you fine ladies and gentlecolts this lovely day? Good? That’s just great! For the weather we have death and sadness with a slight chance of dismemberment. And now for the news! As of yesterday, it seems our little friend of the wastes has made, yet another appearance in the book of heroes! That’s right everyone, the Lone Wanderer is back again! They decided to stop in near Flank and tear apart the raider town that’s been terrorizing the locals. Although this time it appears that s- they’re not alone anymore. The old protector appears to have made some friends with an alicorn and some unknown pony. If only the little bugger would stop in and say hi. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Wanderer and don’t tell me you ain’t listening. Last I heard, they were headed east of Flank, so if any of you listeners see a gang of cloaked Outcasts walking around be sure to lend them a hoof, or even just some ammo if you can spare it.
Anyway, now for some friendly advice from your favorite long time DJ, just as old as the Wanderer themself. Don’t shoot first when you see a ghoulie! Double check that they’re feral before you fill them with lead. A spike of sentient ghouls has occurred lately and they don’t really take kindly to getting shot. So please, show some kindness and maybe we could just all get along. This has been DJ-Pon3, spreading the truth, no matter how bad it hurts. Coming up we have the same damn song that’s been on the top 7 hit list for the past 2 centuries, I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire.
The song began and the radio turned off. I was really fucking tired of that song.
“Hey, Wanderer, we should stop by the DJ’s some time, you’ve never been and neither have I so it might be fun.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, fine whatever, it might be fun. As long as I don’t have to do an interview.”
We kept walking, and I could feel the memory vault getting closer. By now it was no more than 10 miles out and we would be there in less than an hour at our pace. I sat silently and mentally stewed for a while, comfortably drowning myself in sadness.
8.
Raspberry made a comment about how quiet I was being and it was acknowledged by Fashion telling her it wasn’t her business.
6.
Fashion started small talk about the best food place she had ever been to. Some sort of gourmet raider joint that had “The Best Radhog Burgers in the World.”
4.
I talked to Raspberry about how she was stupidly tall for a pony her age. Mainly just my trying to not think about the stupid stable.
2.
I could see the fucking thing. It was far in the distance but I could see that stupid hole in the ground. And it sure as hell saw me back.
0.
We stood just feet away from the giant door. It sat, tightly shut, like it had been waiting all these years for me to come back. It looked lonely all by itself. The small amount of paint there was looked nearly pristine and shiny like the day it first opened to me. It bored into me and dug around in my soul, looking for anything left of it to rip apart and shove into its vast interior.
Those following me sat far behind me, watching with both fear and concern at the same time as I stared right back into the thick steel door.
“Long time no see, old friend.”
[br]
Max Level(30)
No new quest perks: D’aww you suck!
Companion perk added: Fear! Or… not. - You’re emotional standing with Raspberry Slush are… hmm, in a word… fair! When traveling alongside her you gain +3 to DT for both you and all companions when wearing light armor.
Author's Note
Here's another chapter for ya' hope you enjoyed, because I had fun writing it. Your comments make my day, and every like is another vote of confidence to keep writing.
Many Thanks,
Yogi
