Filly Tales

by count of hollow shades

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Princess Luna, Diamond Dogs, Comedy, King Sombra, Adventure, Griffons, Princess Celestia, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2647

all cultures have stories like this. tales that astound and enchant. fairy tales, folk tales, fables, myths, and legends.in this anthology, we will delve into these stories. so sit back dear reader, and go back, back once upon a time.

all cultures have stories like this. tales that astound and enchant. fairy tales, folk tales, fables, myths, and legends.in this anthology, we will delve into these stories. so sit back dear reader, and go back, back once upon a time.

disclamer: these are not children's fairy tales, these are old tales with an old fashion view of such things, you have been warned.

Published 2017-07-26 15:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-03 23:28:59 UTC

Quilt Gown

Author's Note

hi guys. i have decided to try something different. i love folk tales, the more obscure the better, so i thought i would take some of these stories and tweek them a bit. this one is based on a series of stories, ex: cat-skin, many-pelt, donkey skin, hope you like it

Quilt Gown

Once upon a time, in a land a long way away. There was a grand duke. His wife was of a beauty unsurpassed. Their love and bond was envied the world over. Then their happiness soared to new highs with the birth of their first foal, The Duchess cookie. For many years they had no pain, then those days came to an end. The Grand Duchess was dying, and no spell that the duke could find could help her. No zebra shaman could create a potion to save her. No pony could help him. The Duchy mourned with him, the toymakers, blacksmiths, and merchants all wept turning the plains outside the city walls into a lake, and the castle into an island. The Grand Duke swore to the stars that he would only love again if the lady could cook a dish as delicious as his wife's last meal. Year after year, hopeful gentle-fillies brought grand pastries and exotic puddings. All the while Cookie grew more and more beautiful, baking all the way.

Then one day the scent of chocolate chip wafted up to the duke’s room, the smell alone was better than anything he could remember, as soon as he tasted the biscuits, his heart was entrapped. He summoned his court "I have made my decisions, my new bride shall be...my daughter, duchess Cookie Pan" the room filled with horrified gasps. This is unnatural, unholy. The mad pony snarled out in anger "I am The Grand Duke, here in my castle, in my city, in my lands, I am absolute master. Anyone who dares stand between me and my nuptials will be executed." silence quickly filled the room, "so now that is settled, well Cookie, ready yourself for the ceremony"

Cookie was distraught, her father would not be denied. Then entered her wise mule governess "child, why do you cry?"

"Oh Nanny, father has gone insane and wants to marry me. How can I possible avoid this terrible fate" Nanny Mule bent her considerable mind to the issue.

"Ask of him an impossible task, an impossible gift. A gown as black as Luna’s midnight."

And so, it came to pass, but they underestimated her father’s obsession. So, he gathered all the dressmakers, tailors, and seamstresses and gave them an ultimatum "create me such a gown, or lose your heads.'' and so they did.

"Nanny, it didn't work. What do we do" and again Nanny Mule bent her considerable mind to the issue?

"Ask of him an impossible task, an impossible gift. A gown brighter than Celestia's morning."

And so, it came to pass, but again they underestimated her father’s obsession. So, he gathered all the wizards, mages. And wise-ponies so he made another choice for them "make me such a dress or die" and so they did.

"Oh Nanny, will nothing stop him. What will we do." so again Nanny thought and planned.

"I shall prepare, ask of him one more gift. A gown made of a thousand rags."

And so, it came to pass, she donned the quilt gown and ran. No one saw the unicorn duchess, only a unicorn beggar. She made her way to the forest and the cabin that nanny procured for her. There she would dance in the gowns and bake her biscuits.

One day, young Lord Cumulus went on a bird-watching trot, then he smelled the biscuits. They were cooling on the windowsill, so he thought that it would not hurt if he tried just one. As he leaned in to take a bite he saw her. A bright beautiful lady. So, he grew heart sick. He went home and his parents asked him what was wrong "I am heartsick, the only cure is a cake baked by the lady in the woods" this confused the people, the only lady in the woods is that maid in the rags. So, the cake was baked, with a ring falling into the batter. The Lord got better for a while, he put the ring under his pillow certain that it belonged the filly that he yearned for. But it didn't last and he was bedridden again, then his mother had an idea.

"We shall hold a ball, perhaps the object of his affection will appear." so it was arranged, all the young girls of the village were invited. After all the lord was a strapping young Pegasus, they all adored him. Cookie also wished to go to the ball, having grown lonely in her cabin. So, she donned her dark dress and danced, enthralling all who saw her. The Lord was certain, it was that beautiful creature that made the biscuits.

He was uncertain, what would he say. "My lady. My name is Lord Cumulus, welcome to my palace. May I inquire your name?"

She was intrigued by the lord, what does he want, "good to meet you, you may call me Cookie" they hit it off immediately. Talking and laughing, dancing and walking. Then the party ended, The Lord started to visit the forest looking for her. They created a routine, she would put out biscuits on the windowsill in her good gown, and he would come over to eat them and see her. This went on for a while, cumulus started to plan a proposal. He was going to use the ring that he got in the cake, the duke was not idle though, sending troops into the countryside looking for his lost bride. They came to the forest forcing cookie to flee. Lord cumulus was heartbroken, his love was gone.

Bedridden again his father then had an idea, "let’s go to the townhouse, the lake of tears may give him some perspective," so they traveled to the city.

There he moped, until one day he smelled a familiar scent coming from one of the bakeries. Then his heart started to soar, he bought a dozen cakes that week, seeing behind the counter the filly he thought lost. He came to a decision "father. Could we have a gala? Like the one we had a few weeks back." the father was elated, his son is returning to social life. Cookie was excited too, to see her love again. So, she went to the gala in the golden gown. Lord Cumulus was about to approach her when the doors opened to reveal a guest no one expected. The Grand Duke.

He grew bitter, cruel, and angry in his daughter absence. The court was filled with gaps where he executed advisers. He burned towns searching. He recognized her immediately, and so his rant filled the great hall "your ungrateful foal. You know how much time and treasure I spent searching for you. It is time for you to get to the alter, whether you want to or not". Cumulus didn't understand all of what was going on, all he knew was that his love was getting taken. So, the rage within him boiled out and he attacked. After a confusing melee of guests, guards, and solders, The Duke was found. Crushed underfoot, the once peaceful monarch turned tyrant dead. Lord Cumulus and Grand Duchess Cookie were married by the sisters Luna and Celestia shortly after. And they lived happily ever after.

False Groom

Once upon a time there were 2 great noble houses on the Percheron plains, these families wished to unite their lands through marriage. So the Baron Makhaira and the Lady Beryl were engaged. 2 of the junior members. As a bonus they were old friends from their school days in Canterlot. The date was set and the invitations set. All that remained was getting the groom to the state house through the black wood. The baron, not being a moron, had bodyguards for the various monsters and bandits that lived in the wood. They were of no help however against the changeling infiltrator in his staff. The local hive queen had her own interests in the marriage and so sent a trusted drone to replace Makhaira, so they were taken. First the butler, then a cook, then a guard, one by one, till the only one who remained was the baron. The drone, his name really does not matter, but for convenience let’s call him the groom, talked to Makhaira "greetings lordship, I am sorry to inform you that you will not make it to the ceremony" the dagger flashed nicking his barrel.

The groom, certain of his eventual fate, left Makhaira bleeding on the road. After taking his clothes of course. The baron dragged himself to the forest floor and using moss managed to stop the bleeding. He wandered the wood looking for aid all the while preparing his plans to punish the changelings for this indignity. However it was a long way to the state house and he grew thirsty. He came across a creek, he knelt to drink when from the water came a small sea serpent came to the surface to warn him "beware lord. If you drink this water you shall become a serpent such as I"

"I will die if I do not soon drink some water, but I can hold out for a while yet." so he stepped over the creek and moved forward, growing more and more parched with every step. Then he came to a stream, there he met the serpent again.

"Beware lord, if you drink this water you shall become a lion, fierce and angry" the lord knew that if he drank this water he would not be able to reunite with his lady beryl. So he reached into himself for the strength to continue on despite the pain.

He continued till he collapsed in front a pool of water, there the serpent came to him again, "beware lord, if you drink of this pool you shall become a great stag." he knew if he drank he would be unrecognizable to his lady and family, but he no longer had a choice. So he drank and became a stag.

Lady beryl was suspicious of her groom as soon as he arrived. He was not the gentle considerate colt she remembered, he was brash, arrogant, and boastful. He looked like Makhaira, but didn't act like him. Then she saw a stag exit the forest.

Lord Makhaira was gloomy, who would believe he was the true groom. The baron was a broad unicorn with nice clothes. He was a thin stag with nothing. The only ones who realized who he truly was were the changelings, who by their nature were seldom fooled by appearances. The groom panicked for a moment before he remembered that he was the currently the one who looked the most like the baron. Ironic isn't it? The groom looks more like Makhaira than Makhaira does.

The baron need to find a solution and fast, then he had an idea. "I invoke the trials of maidens hand!" it is an ancient law forgotten by many, a series of challenges meant to test prospective husbands, the purpose of these tests is twofold. It makes sure only the stallion that is worthy marries gentlemares. The second is secretly preventing changeling from replacing grooms. Such a challenge ,once spoken, cannot be denied.

The elder explains the task " there are 3 items you must procure. A breezies dust, a griffin feather, and a dragons scales. Do you understand ?"

The groom was annoyed by this absurd ritual. However he prepared well for the tasks ahead. With blade and armor enchanted he entered the black woods where the baron was already waiting.

In a meadow in a clearing was a member of that faerie folk, the breezies, "ello der antlered big un, what are ya doing here."

"Hello little one, how are you."

"I be fine, how poilte of you m'ste"

"Id hate to intrude, but can i have some dust. I would give it back if you'd like"

"No problem guv"

"Ello g-"

"Give me dust or be impaled on my sword" well that was rude, the breezies give him ash rather than dust."

On a rocky hill in the center of number of smaller hills lies a twisted gnarled tree. In that tree is the nest of a griffin. "Hey antler head, never met you before?"

"hello feathered friend, how may i help you."

Griffins are not inherently trusting creatures. Strangers do not just ask you how they can help you if they don't want something. "So.. Say i do want your help. What is the catch?"

"Nothing much, just a feather"

The griffin pondered the question, that is not that terrible price. On the other hand what can he ask for? "Do you know how to bake scones that don't chip your teeth?"

"griffin! i have come for a feather"

'oh look another sucker' thought the griffin "well...i may have a few. however they are not free."

"you do not understand, i am going to have that feather. i will have it, even if i have to take it from your smoldering carcass!"

"ahh, that will be harder than you think" the griffin sprang at him. not trusting, and have very sharp claws.

in the side of a mountain lies a mound of treasure, in this mound a dragon slumbers.

the baron had no idea how to get the last item. dragons don't shed, or molt, or whatever lizards do. he could kill it, but he had no weapons or armor and he didn't think that his antlers would puncture his hide. what to do, what to do. then he saw a pair of scales in the back, it is was used to measure the dragons gold. and he had an idea, did the elder specify what kind of scales he wanted? he sneaked past the foul wyrm, putting one hoof in front of the other. softly inching forward. until finally snatch.

the groom is not a happy changeling, why was the griffin so tough!?! the once shiny armor was not coated in mud and blood, his own and the griffins. he got the feather at least. now to get the last stupid item, for this stupid tradition, for the stupid wedding. "khm, khm, who are you?" ohh right, there is a dragon in this cave,

the groom limps out of the forest. the dragon manged to chases him off, but not before he cut off a piece of his skin. now he has all the items. he returns to the wedding in triumph. then he hears a familiar voice "you know i spent hours thinking about what to say. then i thought. why be subtle about it?" then darkness.

the bridle party was shocked. a stag came out of nowhere and headbutted the groom! then they looked again and saw what he really was. changelings can't maintain their glamours when unconscious. then a familiar voice rang out "i believe you were looking for these" and show all the items he collected. he finished the trials.

then came a moment of recognition from Beryl "is that you Makhaira?"

then they lived happily ever after, the stag and lady together.

Author's Note

this based on several false bride stories (of which "a caterlot wedding" fits in). if their is any story you would like me to, for lack of a better term ponyfy, ask for it in the comment section. and if there is any problems that you can see, pleases do not hesitate to tell me.