The Mane Six Need a Break

by Kyle_67

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Sex, Profanity
Length: 1780

The Mane Six all need a break from their duties, but who on Earth is going to fill in for them?

Being an Element of Harmony is exhausting, and in dire need of a vacation, one of the bearers crafts a plan to get away from the stress. But before she does so, a few matters must be settled: where she'll go, how long she'll stay, and which will human take her place.

She never planned on her friends getting the same idea...

Published 2018-10-18 05:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-18 05:20:01 UTC

Who to Choose?

"Hello? Jacob?"

Jake rapidly exited Firefox, yelling back, "One moment!" before chucking a Kleenex box into the closet and grabbing his robe from nearby. Aged 24 and with access to the internet, Jake considered what he chose to do most Friday nights as only natural, but he could still see how a syndicated television program for children would never excite most men as it did him. An exasperated sigh from outside his door told Jake that his mother knew all too well what her high-school dropout of a son was instead doing with his life—this despite Jake's attempts to be coy about it.

"Just... empty the dishwasher like I told you to, alright?" said his mother after a while, irritation silent yet palpable. "And don't worry about your... activity, Jake; I'm heading to the grocery store, so I won't be coming in your room."

Yes, but I will, Jake smirked inwardl.

The two said their goodbyes through the door with Jake promising to do as she asked, though he still allowed himself 30 minutes of browsing his favorite Tumblr tags before getting up off of his chair. However, once he took off his earbuds, Jake became aware of a hum resonating in his bedroom. Muting his PC proved ineffective in solving the issue, making him a bit more nervous.

Jake rose from his chair having been further befuddled and ambled about his bedroom to find where the sound was loudest. The hum appeared to have gotten louder with him nearing the window but, after a moment, Jake noticed the odd dim had actually just gotten louder everywherein his room.

Okay, this is getting weirder, Jake turned over in his head. Is it too soon to rule out aliens?

Slight apprehension changed to full panic when the noise began to get louder at an increasing rate. Jake figured that, was this actually something paranormal, saying something would appease any... entity that was present. Never one to doubt the likelihood of such an occurrence, Jake eventually steeled himself and spoke up.

"Uh... um, hello?"

CRZZKT

What sounded to Jake like thunder shook the room and was followed by even louder humming, though this time it was identical to CB radio static. A ghostly voice, one that sounded muffled as though spoken in shallow water, sounded on top of the whir after a few moments.

"Mr. Jacob R. Edwards!" the voice spoke, sounding eerily familiar to Jake. "I have come to your world in seek of your help!"

This thing knows my name? Jake realized. Christ, this is some Twilight Zone shit!

The noise stopped after only a few moments longer as a dimming white aura materialized just within Jake's peripheral vision. He swiveled his head around, expecting to see a phantom, but started when his eyes met the figure.

Stood upon four lavender hooves with a violet mane and tail was the Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle. She extended a hoof with a large, goofy grin.

"Hello, human!"

Adrian was spurred awake by the urge to use the bathroom. A harsh, white light forced him squint his already bloodshot eyes and gave his dark skin a certain radiance to it. Despite him not remembering turning on or even owing such a light, Adrian put aside his mild confusion and rose to his feet—or at least tried to. He fell sideways onto his bed with an oomph and looked down to see a mess of duct tape constricting his lower half.

"What the..." Adrian breathed, knowing something to be wrong. Once again considering the room's brightness, Adrian noticed it was sunlight: a fact immediately evident upon him noticing a square hole in the ceiling. What looked to be a technicolor sky was cut into his ceiling tiles and defied the even baseline grasp on physics he had.

But Adrian couldn't spend too long on the issue as his door opened just one minute after him waking up. He squirmed in place when his supposed captor entered. It appeared to be a yellow Pegasus with, of all things, rolls of duct tape in its hooves. Adrian shifted slightly and the creature widened its eyes, waiting only a moment before fleeing into the adjacent room with its pink mane flapping behind.

Adrian blinked.

"Man, I really need to lay off the weed before bed..."

"Is... Is this real?"

Even though there was a cyan hoof extended in front of him, Leigh truly did not believe Rainbow Dash—the coolest, most daring pony in Equestria—was in his room. On Earth.

His visitor chuckled. "I see you've heard of me! Always nice to meet a fan." Leigh internally swooned—he wasn't just a fan of Rainbow Dash, he obsessed over her. It only took seeing the first season of Friendship is Magic for Leigh to start buying plushies, toys, and even t-shirts that he'd worn to high school on occasion. The merch had all been of Dash, of course, and for six years Leigh wished he could one day be in her awesome presence. But now that he was, Leigh knew he couldn't let any of this excitement show and put tremendous effort into remaining stoically calm in his seat.

Leigh returned from a daze to see that Rainbow had clearly noticed he was too starstruck to return the greeting and had since shifted her focus to the surrounding bedroom. Confessedly embarrassed at how much MLP merchandise he had strewn about, he silently hoped it wouldn't displease her.

"Sweet pad, man," Dash complimented, making Leigh's heart and other organ throb. "Looks like you got enough posters of me to rival Scootaloo," she said, smirking.

"Scootaloo?" Leigh echoed, aware of what that entailed. "You mean they're all real?"

Rainbow, if she had heard him, chose not to reply and instead opened a drawer at random. Looking inside, she mused just loud enough for him to hear. "'Slim Jims', huh? Heh, looks like he won't be eating those for a while..."

Leigh's face scrunched with confusion. "Um, pardon me for asking, but what does that mean?"

Dash's head lashed back to him, clearly sheepish. "Whuzzat now?"

"What'd you say 'bout orange juice?" Jill managed to squeak out as the first of many questions, still a bit in shock at finding a magical, orange pony from a 1980's cartoon going through her refrigerator. Jill racked her brain for a name and finally saw this pony resembled Applejack, although not exactly so to the doll she had in her youth. There'd been a new TV show about My Little Pony getting buzz online, but she hadn't paid it much mind; although, this pony being part of a new generation of toys would explain the slight differences between it and Jill's childhood dolls.

What toyline this thing is from don't matter worth a damn right now, girl! Jill mentally scolded herself.

The pony she settled on the name 'Applejack' for froze up when it noticed Jill standing behind her. Applejack rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof. "Howdy, pardner! Y'all finish up in there?"

"Uh," Jill mumbled, surprised at how this thing had an even thicker southern accent than her. "What's it you said about me havin' to 'switch to apples' for a while?"

"Oh, ah was jus'... playin' a lil' word game ta mahself?" Applejack replied. Jill's confusion only furthered; how was what she'd heard a 'word game'?

And how the hell's there a talkin' horse in fronna me? She reiterated to herself.

Applejack let out a sigh and began speaking before Jill could interrogate further. "A'ight, now, since ah'm an honest pony, ah'm gonna be right up front with y'all an' say exactly whut ah've got ta do."

"What you've got to do?" Jill repeated. "What all's that mean?"

"And there's simply too many clients for a pony as busy as myself to design ensembles for. Oh, if only somepony could run Carousel Boutique while I can prepare my couture in time for the Prim Hemline catalog!" Rarity paused her overly dramatic explanation. "That's where you come in, darling."

Mary Dee was still speechless. The shock of seeing Rarity, a character from a show she had begun watching just three hours prior, had initially been too immense for words to escape Mary's lips. But because she was given an eon-long monologue to reenter reality, Mary was able to get a question out.

"Why and how the fuck are you in my bedroom?"

Rarity looked taken aback for a moment before turning her nose up. "Hm! You shouldn't use such uncouth language in the presence of others—it's very unladylike."

"Suck my dick."

Mary Dee grinned at the fury that erupted in Rarity's expression. To her, that retort came as therapeutic. Growing up with a mother who was very clear on how a 'lady' should act only ended up making Mary resent traditional gender roles, and she had always avoided the fourth generation of My Little Pony because of how much she'd been pressured into playing with girly dolls as a kid.

Those toys oozed with estrogen, and this thing's no exception, Mary snarled in her head.

"Well, you will most certainly have to start acting like a proper lady soon, Ms. Mary Dee!" Rarity growled uncharacteristically, causing fear to suddenly swell in Mary's chest. The spontaneous shift in demeanor was all too disconcerting to her, and the fact Rarity knew her full name only made her more anxious.

Not wanting to lose control of the situation, Mary shot back, "Okay, I don't know what you want, but I'm sure as shit not gonna—" She broke off her sentence at the sight of Rarity's horn starting to glow lavender.

I may have fucked up.

Author's Note

I've returned from the vast nothingness (again)! Though, I won't be sticking around for long; just consider this short chapter my elegy.

This all has been written for months at this point, and I only ever held off on posting it because of how much I wanted to develop it further. But seeing as how I've found success elsewhere online and don't have the same level of involvement in the MLP community anymore, I regretfully have no intention of continuing this story or any others. Sorry!

I'm ultimately just posting this to get it off of my conscious. Whereas it was going originally meant to feature a six-way transformation into the main cast, I've just had to leave it in a sort of plot limbo due to time. Nevertheless, I really do hope that you all enjoy this unfinished story and even more so that you've enjoyed the ride up to this point. Farewell ~