Fallout: Equestria Swift Tale

Tired of your raiders tasting bland and the same? Try Other Swift's mouth watering Equestrian wasteland recipe that will blast your taste buds out of this world!

Ingredients

1.5 kg topside of Raider haunch. (Normally one that you killed your self so you know it's fresh).

(for the next steps I'm not sure where you can find these out in the wasteland).

2 medium onions.

2 carrots.

2 sticks of celery.

1 bulb of garlic.

1 bunch of mixed fresh herbs, such as thyme, rosemary, bay, sage.

olive oil. (Or if you want you can use an alcohol).

Method

Remove the haunch from the body after you killed it before you want to cook it, to let it come up to room temperature.

Skin the hunch of the raider making sure to some how to keep the cutie mark in some condition that it makes a great napkin for an after dinner clean up.

Preheat your cooking fire to 240°C/475°F/ gas 9. and wait till the flames die down before you cook it. (you can make an "oven" out of an old metal garbage can if you want to be fancy. Just make sure to empty it).

Wash and roughly chop the vegetables (If you found any) – there’s no need to peel them. Break the garlic bulb into cloves, leaving them unpeeled. (As well as wash the raider haunch because you have no idea where the fuck they have been).

Pile all the veg, garlic, and herbs into the middle of a large roasting tray and drizzle with oil. (or pour wine all over it).

Drizzle the haunch with oil and season well with sea salt and black pepper, (Not sure where to find that as well) then rub all over the meat. Place the haunch on top of the vegetables.

Place the tray in the "oven" or cover it with a scrap of metal, then turn the heat down immediately to 200°C/400°F/gas 6 by taking some of the coals out. Cook for 1 hour for medium haunch. If you prefer it medium-rare, take it out 5 to 10 minutes earlier. For well done, leave it in for another 10 to 15 minutes.

If you’re doing roast potatoes and veggies, this is the time to crack on with them – get them into the "oven" for the last 45 minutes of cooking.

Baste the haunch halfway through cooking and if the veg looks dry, add a splash of water to the tray to stop them from burning.

When the haunch is cooked to your liking, take the tray out of the oven and transfer the haunch to a board to rest for 15 minutes or so. Cover it with a layer of tin foil and a tea towel and wait for the juice to sink in.

Enjoy your sadistic meal!