A starry night, not a single cloud in the sky. A cool slicing breeze roaring past as the “Friendship Express”(what a dumb name) chugs along(slowly, might I add), towards the town of Ponyville, where the three fools are heading to begin their wonderful(read: boring) experience in making “friends,” in a backwater town that nopony cares for, save for six particular residents therein.

At this current point in time, there appears to be a fascinating discussion going on between Raven, a dark stallion with a tacky striped fedora and a Cutie Mark(or as he likes to say, Talent Mark) that definitely does not resemble the Cu-Talent Mark of a particular scientist that everyone tries to claim is some time-travelling alien or something(the things you find online, huh?), and a particular cross-eyed grey pegasus, who appears to have just knocked over a platter that was just brought to them. Let us go to them, shall we?

“Are you serious, Derpy?” Raven asks, not amused in the slightest as his coat became the home of fluids and food products.

“I just don’t know what went wrong!” Derpy replied with a shrug. “I was just trying to get a cookie off of the plate,” She continued.

“And to do that, you decided to force your hoof down, destabilize the platter, then push your side upwards as it began to fall, just to have everything on that platter land on me instead of..oh I do not know..the bloody ground!” He retorts.

“Mares, mares, you are both ugly. Clam down,” The other mare says from a nearby seat. “Honestly Raven, you should be thrilled. Now you are not an uncharacteristically and uncreative grey and black, but instead a partial rainbow!” She continues, smiling as he continues to frown.

“I will have you know, Sweetie Drops, that my uncreative look is rather befitting of my name. Besides, at least I have this fedora. That makes me not entirely grey and black,” Raven says in reply.

“Oh yes, your magnificent blue fedora with white stripes, that definitely is not the tackiest thing you could have possibly picked up while we were shopping that one time,” Sweetie Drops replies.

“It is not like I had much in the way of options, considering my colors. The only other thing that was half-decent was a bright white one, and that is too much contrast to be anything but incredibly noticeable and hilariously dumb. Besides, you were the one who insisted I pick something out,” He says in turn.

“Touché, my fair companion. It is still tacky, though. How about you go to the washroom to clean yourself up? Me and Derpy will clean up the rest of the mess,” She responds.

“Works for me. Derpy..” He begins. “..do not blow up this train car. I do not know how you would, but please, do not blow up this train car, or cause this train to be derailed, or make its engine fail. Just..clean up the mess and let that be the end of it,” He finishes.

“You can count on me!” Derpy says with a salute. Raven rolls his eyes with a grin.

“No I cannot, but it is a good sentiment.” He says, going over to the washroom and closing the door.

And so, our heroes engaged in their respective tasks, the two mares in the stereotypical cleaning role of getting everything off the floor and their seats, and the stallion getting the foreign liquids and food products out of his fur. After 10 minutes, Raven comes out, and notices that there is now a replacement platter of food on the platter. This is their remarkably deep conversation that warrants the emphasis being placed upon it.

“Great, more vegetarian garbage,” Raven complains, eating his hayburger in a seat across the way from Derpy and Sweetie Drops, to avoid another round of “Put the food on the Raven.”

“You know how most equestrians are. They do not realize, or most do not care, that our bodies are perfectly capable of, and work much better with, the protein that comes from meat,” Sweetie Drops responds.

“Yeah yeah. You would think we would have learned by now to bring some with us, have Moonbutt apply some preservation magic on it or something,” He says.

“You would actually trust eating that?” She questions.

“..no, I would not. I would be willing to risk it though, if it meant not having to settle for rabbit food,” He continues.

“Point taken. Still though, there is no reason to complain about it. How about you be like Derpy, she is silently eating and enjoying her food,” She points out.

“She will eat anything if you tell her to. Besides, she is probably being quiet because I snapped at her,” He replies.

“Mostly nope on both accounts Mr. Grumps! I really dislike watermelons, and I just do not have anything to add to your conversation!” Derpy says.

“Since when do you not like watermelons?” Sweetie Drops asks.

“Since the one Grand Galloping Gala we went to, where you had me try it,” Derpy replies.

“You ate it though!” Sweetie Drops points out.

“And barfed when I went to the bathroom,” Derpy replies.

“You could have just said something..” Sweetie Drops says.

“You wanted me to eat it, so I did. I am not sure that I would again though,” Derpy states.

“Then do not eat it again. I highly doubt that Sweetie Drops will get offended if you do not want to eat a particular food item. Hell, you should try spitting it into her face. That would make her day,” Raven jokes.

“Do not even try to get her to do that, Raven. I would not mind killing you, but I do not think I would have the heart to do anything to her,” Sweetie Drops responds.

“That is why I should do that, so I can laugh at you freely, and you have no justifiable reason to come after me. Not that you would accomplish much anyway,” He replies.

“You want to bet?” She says with a smirk.

“I do not think Moonbutt would appreciate us getting it on while on the way to Ponyville,” He states in return.

“You little pest, I should-” She begins to argue back, before suddenly a similar incident to before happened, only this time, the food was launched rapidly towards Raven’s window. He ducked out of the way(so acrobatic!) and ungracefully landed with a thud on the ground, but still dry and clean(sort of).

“How..the hell..did you even..manage that?!” Raven yells, to a sheepish Derpy and a laughing Sweetie Drops. All Raven could think of is how we was ever going to survive the rest of this journey, much less their time in Ponyville.

This will be a long train ride yet.

Author's Note

Welcome to the end of "What the hell did I just read," written by yours truly while I was bored waiting for dinner to get done.

So, what is there to say? Not much, actually. If you want to see a picture of Raven, here you go: http://i.imgur.com/yTqC5yB.jpg . Credit to the one who made it for me, who I sadly do not know the name of anymore(I think it was Christgotjar or similar from Legends of Equestria, not sure).

This story will crash and burn faster than I wrote it, but that is okay. I like seeing my ideas go up in flames, it reinforces the fact that I am not funny, and that I am a terrible author. On the off-chance that people actually are interested in the continuation of this story, then I may see it through for more than this chapter, but until then, if this is the last you see of me, I am sorry for the killing of your brain cells. Have a blessed one!