Flurry the Furry, Literal Equestria Girl!
Author's Note
Some material from the original version of this has been changed, and new material added, so even if you already read this in Just Girls Talking Dirty, it'd be a good idea to reread it.
Flurry the Furry, Literal Equestria Girl!
The lunch hour at Canterlot High School is a timeless institution. After four hours of morning learning, the student body gathered in the cafeteria to relax with their friends, enjoy the delicious and healthy food provided by the friendly and courteous lunch lady, and give their tired minds a break before the slog of afternoon classes. As was the norm for CHS, some tables were occupied by cliques, others by unlikely groups of friends who gravitated towards each other despite being from wildly different walks of life.
One such table was populated by seven teenagers. They were regarded by most of their peers as the most popular, "coolest" kids at CHS, and no matter what was going on at school, no matter how busy their schedules were, no matter who else they hung out with the rest of the time, they always had lunch together, every single day.
"So, Spring Break's coming up," a girl with long, wavy red-and-gold hair said. "I'm thinking of going down to Canterlittle, catch some sun."
"Ooh, that sounds like fun! I'd love to show off my bikini body on the beach!"
"Hmm. Ah reckon Ah could slip away a spell. Shucks, Ah don't wanna spend mah whole break doin' chores."
"Well if you girls are goin', you know I'm—"
A high, ringing chime filled the air, followed by a bright golden flash which lit up the entire cafeteria. All conversation stopped, every eye turning to the source of the flash.
Shocked gasps, startled exclamations, and a few screams filled the silence. Then, after a beat, a lot of wolf-whistles and catcalls followed suit.
Phones were whipped out and pointed at the source of the disturbance.
"Whut th' HELL is THAT?!" cried a girl with bright red skin, a smattering of freckles, violet eyes, and long, curly orange hair.
"That" appeared to be a teenage girl, much the same age as most of the teens present in the cafeteria, with pale greyish-pink skin, a slender build, long legs, large, firm breasts, bright blue eyes, and curly pink and violet hair with blue streaks.
But a couple of things about her weren't quite...right.
Like the large pair of feathery pink wings sprouting from her back.
Or the long, curly tail that hung from her lower back, perfectly matching her hair.
Or the long, tapered horn jutting from her forehead.
Or the pair of upright pony ears that sat to either side of her head.
Or the fact that her face, while quite attractive, couldn't be called a human face by even the most generous definition, given that she had a short, rounded muzzle.
She was also completely naked.
"I dunno, but I wanna fuck it," said a boy with dark blue skin, wild, choppy rainbow-colored hair, and dark red eyes.
"Pervert," the redhead sitting next to him muttered, slapping him upside the head.
"I'm kinda with Blaze on that one," another boy said. Handsome, with sharp cheekbones and stormy grey eyes, he had dusty purple skin and short, tousled dark pink hair. He wore black jeans, a black leather jacket over a grey T-shirt, black loafers with white socks, and horn-rimmed glasses. He leaned back in his chair, arms spread across the back. "And I don't often say that."
"Ugh," the redhead groaned. "You're both perverts..."
"Oh come on!" Blaze cried, throwing out a hand to gesture at the naked alien girl, who was looking around wildly, her eyes wide and confused. "Look at her! She's more stacked than you, Dawn!"
"He's not wrong," another girl at the table said laconically. She had dark yellow skin, red eyes, and dyed black hair that was a soft pink at the roots. She wore tight leather pants, a tight leather coat, and tight high-heeled leather boots.
"Guys?" the fourth girl at the table said. This girl had pale yellow skin, sleek golden-brown hair with a springy, coiled lock of bright pink hair that looked like cupcake icing, and bright blue eyes. She wore a pink sweater with a picture of a cow on the front along with the word "MOO" which went right across her ample bosom, as well as indigo jean shorts and pink flats. "Maaaybe instead of fighting over Blazie and Dusky being perverts and whether or not the naked alien girl has a better body than Dawn-Dawn, we should worry more about why there's a naked alien girl in the cafeteria and, umm...maybe try to take her someplace where it's a little less not-right to be naked?"
"Miss Pie is right," the last member of the group, a boy with cocoa cream skin, bright red hair, and green eyes, wearing crisply-pressed black slacks with shiny black loafers, a white button-down dress shirt, and a black tie said, standing up. "We should intervene—"
"WHAT is going on here?"
"—or perhaps not," he finished, sitting back down.
Magenta heels clicked sharply across the tiles of the cafeteria as the noise level dropped to nothing. A tall, gorgeous woman with amber skin and snapping teal eyes, dressed in a magenta skirt, blazer, and heels with a seafoam green blouse, walked briskly between the tables, her wavy copper-and-gold hair bouncing and swaying as she walked. She cast withering eyes at any student whose phone was out; phones were quickly put away, their owners shifting guiltily.
"Young lady, why are you parading around naked—" she began, then trailed off, looking the naked girl up and down. Her brow furrowed, her mouth working in confusion. "What in the—" She squinted as she studied the girl's inhuman face. Her eyes widened. "Flurry Heart?!" she whispered.
The girl rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Umm...hi, Auntie Sunset," she said. She looked around. "Wow, is this Canterlot High? It's...kinda chilly here..."
Principal Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow. "You're naked," she pointed out. "Which, incidentally, isn't really a good idea in this world, so if you could—"
Flurry Heart blinked. She looked around again. Saw that everyone in the cafeteria was wearing clothes except her. "Huh. My bad." Her horn glowed with a bright golden aura, and a fuzzy pink bathrobe with rose and violet trim appeared out of thin air, wrapping itself around her body and cinching itself loosely with a cream-colored sash. Matching fuzzy slippers appeared on the floor, and she stepped into them. "Better?"
"It'll do," Sunset said. She frowned. "Now, what in the he—actually, why are you—" She shook her head. "I have so many questions." She sighed. "Come with me to my office, I'll...I'll write to your aunt..."
"Principal Shimmer?" Sunset looked behind her to see seven students approaching, varying looks of concern and confusion on their faces. The speaker was the girl who, for all intents and purposes, looked identical to her. "What's going on? Is this...is this an Equestria thing?"
Sunset sighed. "Don't worry about it, Dawn. I'll take care of it."
Dawn frowned. "Mom," she said patiently, "you know you need us to run damage control."
"Besides, we wanna get to know this weird alien girl! Hi, I'm Bibi Pie, what's your name?"
"I'm Flurry Heart," Flurry said, looking the group over. "Wow, I think I actually recognize a couple of you." She frowned. "Not most of you, though. Huh."
Sunset groaned. "Fine," she snapped. "You kids can come along if you want. Blaze, I know what you're thinking, and don't even."
"I wasn't—" Prism Blaze broke off at Sunset's quelling glare, gulping as her hand moved to the pendant dangling around her neck. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his windbreaker. "Well she started it by being naked," he said petulantly.
Flurry tilted her head. "Started what?"
"Nevermind," Sunset said.
"Pervert-boy here only has one thing on his mind," Cinnamon Apple said with a smirk. "It's all about sex with him. If you don't put him in his place, he won't let up."
"Oh," Flurry said. She looked Blaze up and down. "Well, I'll think about it," she said with a coy smile.
"YES! Dude, score!" Blaze cheered, pumping a fist. All four girls in the group slapped him upside the head.
Sunset rolled her eyes. "Why'd I take this stupid job again?" Shaking her head, she marched out of the cafeteria, the group of teenagers following behind her.
* * * * *
Since she had a crowd of kids determined to trail after her, Principal Shimmer abandoned the idea of taking Flurry to her cramped office, and instead led the group to the conference room, stopping only long enough to pick up her magic journal. Once they arrived at the conference room, Principal Shimmer wrote a quick, frantic note to Princess Twilight Sparkle while the seven CHS students went around the table introducing themselves...or re-introducing themselves, in some cases.
"I'm Dawn Shimmer," Sunset's daughter said. "Principal Shimmer's my mom."
"Prism Blaze," Blaze said with a lazy grin. "Son of the world's most famous super-hot rock star!"
"And notorious pervert," Dawn muttered.
The freckled red girl with the curly orange hair waved as she took off her cowboy hat and laid it in her lap. "Howdy," she said. "Ah'm Cinnamon Apple."
"Dusk Horizon," the purple boy with the glasses said.
"Eris," the goth girl said in a bored tone.
"My name is Alto Sax," the well-dressed boy said.
"And I'm Bibi Pie!" Bibi said cheerfully. "Hi again!"
Flurry tilted her head. "Bibi? That's a weird name. I mean, I'm guessing you're Auntie Pinkie's kid, but that doesn't sound like—"
Blaze gave a sleazy grin. "Her real name is—"
"Don't say it," Bibi growled.
Blaze's eyes lit up with mischief. "It's—"
"DON'T SAY IT!" Bibi warned, half-rising from her chair.
"BANANA CREAM PIE!" Blaze yelled, cackling.
"AHHHH!" Bibi launched herself over the table at him, hands outstretched into grasping claws.
"BIBI!" Principal Shimmer snapped. Bibi froze in mid-air, completely ignoring the laws of gravity as she hung a full foot over the top of the table.
Flurry frowned. Her horn lit up; Bibi disappeared in a flash and reappeared, looking slightly frazzled, in the chair next to her. "Umm...I don't understand," she said. "Why are you so mad at him?"
"Bibi really hates her given name," Dawn explained.
Bibi dug her fingers into her hair. "Mom and Dad are so stupid," she muttered. "I mean, hello? Banana Cream Pie? What were they thinking?! I can't walk around with a name like Cream Pie, that's...that's humiliating! And I can't even work with Banana, I mean, it's a dumb name and if I shorten it to Nana I sound like, well...old!" She sighed. "So I started going by Bibi."
Flurry's brow furrowed in confusion. "Okay, the Banana part I get, but what's wrong with Cream Pie?"
"Seriously?" Cinnamon asked, raising an eyebrow.
Bibi groaned and whispered something in Flurry's ear. Flurry's eyes widened. "Okay, yeah, that's bad," she agreed. "Yeesh."
Principal Shimmer rolled her eyes and smiled. "Okay, if you kids are done with the introductions and the comedy routine," she said, "it's time for Flurry to answer a few questions. Starting with what the hell happened to you?" She looked Flurry over in concern. "Is something wrong with the portal?" A nauseated grimace twisted her face. "Are you...are you okay, does it hurt? Should I warn Twilight? I—"
Flurry held up a hand to stall her. "Umm...actually? I did this to myself," she said sheepishly.
Principal Shimmer trailed off. "...what?"
Flurry poked her fingertips together. "It was...brthdyprsntfrmbyfrnd," she mumbled.
Principal Shimmer frowned. "I'm sorry, would you repeat that?" she demanded sternly.
"It was supposed to be a birthday present for my boyfriend," Flurry repeated, cheeks flushing. "Umm..." She ducked her head. "The last time Auntie Twiley was here, she brought Mom and Dad some...some magazines from your world as, y'know, a..." She shook her head. "A-anyway, they showed human couples, umm...you know..."
Principal Shimmer stared at her, nonplussed. "Porno mags? Twilight gave your mom and dad porno mags?"
"She thought they'd be interested!" Flurry said defensively. "And they were, they really were!" She sighed. "Anyway, I...I wanted to see too, so I snuck one out of their bedroom. Then my boyfriend saw it, and..." She smiled a silly smile. "He got super turned on by it, so I thought I'd surprise him for his birthday by turning myself into a human girl." She shrugged helplessly. "I kinda screwed it up though," she admitted.
"Kinda...kinda screwed it up," Dawn repeated flatly. "Kinda screwed it up?"
"Hey, she got the important parts right at least," Blaze said. Dawn slapped him upside the head.
"So that's why you have a porn star body?" Bibi asked. "You were copying dirty magazines?"
Flurry blushed. "A-actually," she said, "I...I was trying to make my body look like Auntie Sunset's. I mean, from pictures Auntie Twiley showed me."
A silence fell across the table. Seven pairs of eyes slowly turned to stare at Principal Shimmer.
Principal Shimmer ducked her head and coughed into a fist, covering a blush. "Ahem. Alright, that...that more or less explains your...appearance," she said. "S-so, umm...when is this spell supposed to wear off?"
Flurry gave her own fake cough, her ears drooping. "I've, umm...I've been stuck this way for two and a half weeks," she said. "Auntie Twiley thinks it...it might be permanent..."
Principal Shimmer gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh Celestia," she whispered. "Oh, Flurry, I'm so sor—"
"Oh, it's not so bad," Flurry said with a smile. "I actually kinda like it! Sure I get some funny looks sometimes and, well..." Her ears flattened against her skull. "Mom and Dad had a fit and there was this whole misunderstanding and Dad may or may not have declared war on Discord before I explained the whole thing..." She coughed. "Umm. But anyway, yeah...they calmed down, and Auntie Twiley's still trying to find a way to undo this, but I told Mom and Dad not to worry because I still have all my magic and stuff, so it doesn't really matter, right?"
Principal Shimmer pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright, fine," she said. "That's not my problem, my problem is getting you home." She frowned. "But...why'd you come here? I mean..." Her frown deepened, furrows creasing her forehead. "Better question, why'd you come out of the portal naked? That shouldn't have happened..."
Flurry laughed sheepishly. "I...didn't come through the portal," she said.
"She just kind of appeared in the middle of the cafeteria in a flash of light," Dawn supplied.
Principal Shimmer blinked. "What?"
"Okay so you know how I said I still have all my magic?" Flurry began in a rush. "Well...sometimes it fritzes up a little bit. I...kinda accidentally teleported myself here? I don't know how, I was just popping down to the kitchen for a snack. Next thing I know, I'm here." She shrugged.
Principal Shimmer's face went pale. "You mean you're officially a missing princess?"
"I guess?"
The journal started to glow and vibrate.
Principal Shimmer stared at it as though it were a live cobra.
"Oh horseapples..."
* * * * *
"—and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before—"
"How long is this going to go on?" Starlight Glimmer muttered out of the corner of her mouth.
A group of ponies, mostly earth ponies, sat in a semicircle across from a group of massive, intimidating Buffalo. The largest of the Buffalo was rambling on in a deep bass voice. At the center of the group of ponies sat a tall, slender alicorn with a lavender coat, a violet mane and tail with hot pink and pale gold streaks which rippled in a nonexistent breeze, and a long, tapered horn. Her purple eyes never left the speaking Buffalo, but she quietly whispered to the unicorn at her side, "Could be hours. Be patient, Starlight."
"Uuuuuugh..."
"—and his father before—"
Princess Twilight Sparkle's saddlebag began to vibrate. She blinked. "Oh crud," she whispered.
"What is it?" Starlight asked.
"—and his father before—"
"The journal," Twilight replied. "I'm getting a message from Sunset Shimmer." She sighed. "Probably isn't urgent, but I can't risk—"
A scroll suddenly burst into existence in front of Twilight's face. The Buffalo chief broke off, blinking dazedly.
"Sorry," Twilight said as she unfurled the scroll with her magic. "Don't mind me, you know how it is, a Princess is always busy."
The Buffalo snorted. "Where was I..."
Twilight let out a sharp gasp. All eyes turned to her. She shot to her hooves. "Forgive me, Great Chief Buffalo," she said. "An urgent matter has arisen which I must attend to immediately. I—"
"Does it have anything to do with Flurry being missing?" Starlight asked.
Twilight paused, slowly turning to her. "Hooooow did you know that?"
Starlight held up the journal in her magic. "Slipped it out of your saddlebag to check the message. Flurry's at CHS."
Twilight blinked rapidly, then seized the journal, eyes scanning Sunset's short message:
Twilight, Flurry Heart just got here. Something went wrong with the portal or something, she's stuck in some half-human, half-pony form I've never seen before. What's going on? Please, write back quickly!
"I didn't know Flurry was in Ponyville," Starlight said.
"She isn't. I mean wasn't. I mean...there's no way she could've gone through the portal," Twilight said. "That scroll just now? Was from Cadance. Apparently they've been trying to find Flurry Heart for the last half hour and she's nowhere in sight." She took a deep breath, then faced the Buffalo. "Forgive me, but I must adjourn to attend to an important matter. The Crystal Princess has somehow misplaced herself and I have a panicking sister-in-law and a wayward niece to contend with."
The Buffalo chief nodded. "The Buffalo respect family. Go and tend to yours, Princess. We will continue on with your herd."
Twilight bowed, then turned to leave. Starlight rose to join her, but Twilight waved her away with a wing. "You stay here," she said. "Take my place in the ceremony." She disappeared in a flash.
Starlight sighed and settled back down on the woven blanket she sat on.
The Buffalo chief cleared his throat. "My father stampeded this land, as did his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him—"
* * * * *
Dear Sunset: Thank you for letting me know about Flurry. I have no idea how she got there, but I'm letting Cadance and Shining Armor know where she is so they don't completely freak out. Which you're probably already doing because of the, umm...anthromorph form she's presently in. She probably explained it, but it's not a portal accident, don't worry. Just sit tight, I'll open the portal and come get her as soon as I can, but I'm in Appleloosa right now, so it might take a while. Love, Twilight.
Principal Shimmer let out a relieved sigh as she read the note, wrote a brief reply, and closed the journal. "Well, thank goodness for that," she said. She quirked an eyebrow at Flurry. "Looks like you might be here a few hours," she said. "The rest of you need to get going, lunch is almost over."
"But—" Dawn protested.
Principal Shimmer gave her a forbidding look. "You're not cutting classes just because we have a stray princess on campus," she said.
Dawn sighed. "Yes, Principal Shimmer," she said resignedly. The seven kids looked at each other, shrugged, and got up to leave.
"It was nice meeting you!" Bibi called to Flurry.
"Hope we get to see you again!" Blaze added with a grin.
"Bye!" Flurry called, waving cheerfully. As the door closed behind Eris, who was the last to leave, Flurry sighed. "They seem nice," she said. "Wish I could spend more time here, get to know them a little better." With a smirk, she added, "Especially those two cute boys. I bet they're a lot of fun to play with."
Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay seriously, what the hell, Flurry?" she asked.
Flurry batted her eyes innocently. "What do you mean, Auntie?"
Sunset shook her head. "You used to be this sweet, innocent little angel, and now look at you!" She gestured vaguely up and down Flurry's loosely-robed body. "You turned yourself into some kind of furry wet dream for what, to play some bedroom game with some colt?"
Flurry dug in one ear with a pinky finger. "Mistakes were made," she said petulantly.
Sunset let out a bark of laughter. "Mistakes...good grief." She sighed. "Seriously, when did you turn into some oversexed...this?"
Flurry rolled her eyes. "So I like hot stallion sausage for breakfast," she said. "And lunch. And dinner. And—"
"GAH!" Sunset yelped, pulling a nauseated face. "I really don't wanna hear this from somepony whose diapers I changed!"
Flurry smirked. "Wow. It's gonna suck for you when Dawn starts dating," she quipped.
Sunset covered her head with both hands and let out a groan. "Seriously, what's gotten into you? AND DON'T SAY PENIS! OR ANYTHING THAT MEANS PENIS!"
Flurry pouted. "Oh, spoil my fun," she said. "I swear, you're as bad as Mom. 'Young lady, stop trying to sleep your way through the Palace Guard, they are not a harem!' 'Young lady, asking Sunburst to show you the knob on the end of his staff is inappropriate!' 'That does it, I'm banning bananas in the Crystal Empire!'"
Sunset blinked hard at that last one.
Flurry folded her arms, one ear flicking. "I can't help it," she whined. "The Crystal Empire is boring. Outside of the occasional major magical disaster which somehow always ends up being thwarted by Uncle Spike even if he isn't anywhere near the Crystal Empire when it happens, not much happens there. The shops are boring, the crystal ponies are boring, and there...really just aren't any ponies my age around, you know?" Flurry sighed, looking down at the table. "I mean, pretty much all I do is study and maybe play dork games with Dad sometimes. Anytime I get to go to Ponyville or Canterlot is a big deal for me because at least I get outside and see cool stuff!"
Sunset's face settled into an expression of sympathy. "You're bored," she said. "And lonely."
"Yeah," Flurry said quietly. After a beat, she added, "That and I'm super horny." At Sunset's flat stare, she giggled. "What? I like sex. Is there anything wrong with that?"
Sunset groaned. "Well..." She sighed. "I guess it's just...a bit of a shock," she said. "And...you do seem kind of obsessed."
Flurry shrugged. "My Mom's the Princess of Love. I'm the Princess of Lovin'."
"Yeah, that's...not a thing," Sunset said dryly.
"Not yet," Flurry said teasingly.
* * * * *
Shining Armor paced restlessly in the royal chambers. "What if it's Chrysalis," he muttered to himself. "Or what if Sombra, or...or if..."
The door opened, and Cadance trotted in, a scroll floating in front of her. "Found her," she said.
Shining Armor let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Celestia," he said. "Where is she?"
"With Sunset Shimmer, apparently," Cadance said, rolling up the scroll. "Twilight got a message from Sunset saying Flurry showed up in the other world."
Shining Armor blinked. "What in the world is she doing there?" He shook his head. "How is she there? I thought the only door to that world was at Twiley's castle!"
"Well, we'll know in a couple of hours," Cadance said. "Twilight's headed back to Ponyville to go get her now." She scuffed a hoof on the crystal floor and let out a sigh.
Shining Armor's ears folded back. "Cadie? What's wrong?"
Cadance bit her lip. "It's..." She looked up at Shining Armor, her ears down and her wings drooping. "Am I a bad mother?"
Shining Armor blinked. "What? No! You're a terrific mother! Why?"
Cadance looked down. "It's just that lately, Flurry's been so..." She shook her head. "And more and more I find myself yelling at her and telling her to behave herself, and..." She looked up again. "Are we doing enough for her? I mean, we have to be doing something wrong. This whole thing with her turning herself into that...that thing..."
Shining Armor frowned. "Now Cadance," he said patiently. "Twiley's been one of those a few times now and she assures me that there's nothing wrong with it, and aside from being..." He pursed his lips. "Stuck halfway between being a human and a pony, Flurry's actually really pretty for a, y'know, not-pony."
"I know, I know," Cadance said tiredly. "And she seems to like being that way, so I shouldn't..." She grimaced. "I mean, if anypony should be okay with it, it's me, but I can't help but worry because I feel like this is my fault somehow, like...like I'm not doing enough, or I'm doing things wrong, that I drove her to be this crazy, reckless wild child she's been lately..."
Shining Armor sighed. "I don't think it's you," he said. "I mean, I've been thinking about Flurry and the way she acts lately a lot too." He started pacing. "I think the problem is the youngest ponies Flurry spends any time with are the guard recruits."
"She spends a little too much time with the guard recruits," Cadance muttered sourly.
"Well, yeah," Shining Armor agreed with a hard frown. "But there aren't really any ponies her age in the Empire. I mean...we don't even have any schools."
Cadance frowned thoughtfully. "Yeah, that's...I hadn't really thought of that," she admitted.
"I really think Flurry needs some friends her own age," Shining Armor continued. "I mean, growing up, we both had our friends. Twiley came into her own when she finally got out and made some friends." He shrugged. "Flurry needs to make some friends she can relate to."
Cadance sighed. "You're probably right," she said. "No, I'm certain you're right." She pursed her lips. "But even if we were able to find her some ponies her own age to spend time with, there's the whole anthromorph thing, that...that might make new friendships a little tough."
Shining Armor winced. "Yeah..."
An awkward silence fell.
"Unless..." Cadance said suddenly, eyes lighting up.
"Yeah?" Shining Armor asked, ears perking.
Cadance looked up, a sly smile gracing her muzzle. "Well, Flurry is at a high school right now," she said. "A school full of teenagers. Human teenagers." Her smile became slightly manic. "I don't know about you, but I think sending Flurry off to school would be a really healthy thing for our entire family, don't you?"
Shining Armor blinked. "Hehwha?"
Cadance began pacing. "Flurry's safe," she said. "I trust Sunset Shimmer to look after her and keep her safe. If anything happens, Twilight can get there in two shakes. That world is full of human teenagers. Flurry's a teenager and she's, well...part human, so she should be able to make some friends." She paused, then looked back at Shining Armor. "And...honestly? I could really use a break from her right now."
Shining Armor's ears lay flat against his head. "You...you want to send Flurry away?"
"Not forever! Just...just long enough for her to..." Cadance gestured vaguely with a hoof. "Settle down. I swear, this whole Sluttiest Mare Alive thing she's been doing lately is driving me completely crazy and..." She sighed. "And I just...I really need her to be somepony else's problem for a little while."
"Cadance..." Shining Armor trotted over to his wife and drew her in to a comforting hug, stroking her mane gently. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? We could've sent her to Ponyville or even Canterlot..." He nuzzled Cadance, then tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes with a gentle smile. "Let's talk to Twiley, find out if it's okay to let Flurry stay over there for a while." He snorted. "She seems to love humans so much, I'm sure she won't object."
Cadance giggled. "Yeah." With a roll of her eyes and a smirk, she added, "And if she sluts it up there half as much as she's doing here, well...I'm sure Sunset Shimmer can handle it." With that, she pulled out a fresh scroll and started writing a letter to Twilight...
* * * * *
The school day had ended.
Sunset Shimmer, Flurry Heart, and the seven teens were waiting by the portal to Equestria, eating pizza and chatting lightly. Blaze kept trying to get a better look under Flurry's robe; Flurry kept egging him on, Dawn kept hitting him over the head, and Sunset kept shooting exasperated glares at both of them.
The portal rippled, and a tall lavender-skinned woman in a flowing, elegant dress in all the colors of the dusk sky stepped gracefully out, her spangled golden high-heeled sandals clicking sharply on the marble plinth. A small, five-pointed tiara rested atop her head, the amethysts set in the points gleaming in the afternoon sun.
"Auntie Twiley!" Flurry cried happily, shooting to her feet and rushing to embrace her aunt.
Twilight Sparkle smiled. "Flurry, I'm glad to see you're safe," she said. She looked around, her gaze taking in the group of teenagers. "Good afternoon."
Sunset stood and brushed off her skirt. "Princess," she said with a bow, which was followed by a friendly smirk. "Love the new look."
"Hm?" Twilight looked down at herself. "Huh. That's weird." She giggled. "Guess it's been a while since I've actually been over here."
"Yeah, it's usually me coming to Equestria for this and that," Sunset agreed. She sighed. "Sorry for dragging you here, I'm sure you were busy with something important—"
Twilight waved her off. "Not your fault," she said. She gave Flurry a small smile. "I appreciate you letting me know my wayward niece is here."
Flurry ducked her head. "It was an accident," she said. "I don't even know how it happened."
Twilight sighed. "I was afraid of that." She shook her head. "In any case, as long as you're safe, that's all that matters." She blinked as she looked at Dusk Horizon, who was staring at her with a gaping jaw. "Yes? Is something wrong?"
Sunset chuckled. "He's just a little...surprised," she said. "That's the other Twilight's son."
"Oh," Twilight said softly, mouth forming a small 'o'. "I see." She giggled. "I guess that makes him my nephew?"
"Something like that." Sunset sighed. "Well, I guess you need to get Flurry back to her parents, so I won't keep you."
"About that," Twilight said, wringing her hands. "Actually...Cadance asked me to ask you for a favor." She paused, then amended, "Well...she asked me to pass along a message to Flurry, then ask you for a favor."
"Eh?" Flurry asked.
Sunset blinked. "A favor? Cadance needs a favor from me? But wha—" Her eyes widened. "Oh no."
Twilight cleared her throat. "Flurry, sweetie? Your mother wanted to know if maybe you'd like to stay in this world for a little while. You know, explore a little, go to school, make some friends?"
Flurry's eyes lit up. "Stay? Here?" She looked around. "Mom really—"
"She's worried that you don't have any friends your age back in Equestria," Twilight said. "And given your...condition..." Twilight coughed delicately. "She thought it might be easier for you to make friends here. And, well...there's a lot of cool stuff to see in this world. I think you'd enjoy it."
Flurry blinked, then looked around at the group of surprised teens watching her. A slow smile spread across her face. "Yeah, I can think of a couple of things about this world I'd enjoy learning all about," she said.
Sunset facepalmed.
"Perfect!" Twilight said obliviously. She turned to Sunset. "Now, for that favor. Cadance would really appreciate it if you'd look after Flurry for a while."
Sunset glanced at Flurry, then took Twilight by the elbow and dragged her behind the statue. "What the hay, Twi?" she hissed.
Twilight grimaced. "Cadance needs a break from Flurry," she said. "Evidently they've been getting on each other's nerves lately." She gave Sunset a pleading look. "Please? Flurry really is a sweet girl, she's just...spirited."
"Twilight, she is literally eye-humping two of my students as we speak and one of them is your sort-of son."
"Well maybe without Cadance constantly riding her about..." Twilight made a vague gesture, her cheeks turning red. "...being ridden, she'll get it out of her system!"
Sunset stared at her incredulously for a long moment before letting out a tired sigh. "Fine," she said. "Tell Cadance I'll be happy to look after Flurry for however long she wants to stay here."
"Perfect!" Twilight said cheerfully, clapping her hands together. She stepped back around the statue and smiled broadly at the teens. "It's all settled! I'll be back in a couple of days with a magic journal for you so you can keep in touch with your mom and dad, and I'll be checking up on you from time to time, okay?"
"Okay, Auntie Twiley!" Flurry said, hugging Twilight enthusiastically. "You're the best!"
"If there's anything you need from home, just let me know through Sunset," Twilight said. She looked at the group of teens again. "Please take good care of my niece," she said.
"We will," Dawn promised.
"We definitely will," Blaze added. Dawn thumped him.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Have fun, sweetie," she said. She gave Sunset a nod, then stepped back into the portal.
Sunset sighed. "Well, I guess it's time for everybody to head home now," she said. "Dawn and I have a lot of things to do if we're going to have a permanent houseguest." She looked at Flurry and pressed her lips into a thin line. "Starting with shopping for clothes," she said. "Dawn, can you take Flurry home? I'll make a run to Navy Blue. I'll pick up dinner on the way home."
"Sure thing Mom," Dawn said. "Come on, Flurry. Let's go home." She gave the rest of her friends a penetrating stare. "Alone," she added.
"Aww," Flurry pouted. "Oh well." She giggled. "There'll be plenty of time for that later!"
Dawn facepalmed.
As the teens went their separate ways, Sunset Shimmer leaned against the corner of the portal statue and sighed. "Well...this'll be interesting," she muttered dryly.
That Which We All Call Home
Equestria, a fortnight ago...
"This spell's no good. No, that won't do it either." Princess Twilight Sparkle paced in a circle in her library. Nearby, Flurry Heart sat on a chair, hands folded in her lap as she watched her aunt freak out. Finally, Twilight threw several books across the room with her magic and let out an aggravated groan of defeat. "I give up. Discord!" she yelled, her horn flaring with alicorn magic.
In a bright flash, Discord appeared. "Well hello, Princess!" he said. "And what can I do for you today?"
Twilight waved a hoof at Flurry Heart. Discord blinked. "Well don't look at me, I didn't do it," he said.
"I know you didn't," Twilight said. "Flurry did this to herself."
"Did she now?" Discord asked, raising a bushy eyebrow. He looked Flurry up and down and tsked. "Well, whatever research materials she was using, they were clearly very detailed...well, except for the part where humans don't have pony heads and wings."
"It was supposed to go all the way," Flurry said. "I just messed up."
"And now she's stuck like this and I can't undo it," Twilight explained. "I've tried, Luna's tried, Celestia's tried, Cadance...just bursts into tears every time she looks at Flurry..." She shook her head. "Even Starlight Glimmer tried to fix this. None of us can figure out how to reverse it." She looked up at Discord. "You're our last hope."
Discord hummed thoughtfully. "Can't do it, sorry," he said.
"What?" Twilight demanded. "But...but you're Discord! Master of chaos! If this isn't chaos, I don't know what is!"
"Oh, I could certainly change her into anything under Celestia's vast and expansive sun," Discord said. He grinned wickedly. "But there's a hitch."
"What hitch?" Twilight asked warily.
"I can't fix this because Flurry herself doesn't want it fixed," Discord said simply.
Twilight blinked. "What?" She glanced at Flurry, who ducked her head and scuffed the floor with a soft, fleshy human foot.
"Go ahead, Flurry dear," Discord said with a hint of pride. "Tell your Auntie Twiley the truth."
Flurry blushed. "Umm...I like that I have a sexy human body but still have all my magic?" she offered. "I mean, this was an accident, and I guess I was a little freaked out at first when I realized I was stuck this way, but..." She shrugged. "I mean, I don't really see a downside to this." She smiled her best 'please be proud of me' smile at her aunt.
Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Good grief," she muttered. "Right, so..." She looked at Discord again. "That still doesn't explain why you can't just snap your talons and put her back to normal. I've seen you handle bigger magical messes!"
Discord rolled his eyes (down a tiny bowling lane that appeared in the middle of the floor; one went into the gutter while the other left a 7-10 split). "I don't know where you got the idea that I'm a bottle of magical correction fluid—" In a flash, he turned into a thick brown bottle with a large white teardrop-shaped logo on the front, which sprouted his face. "—but I simply can't be called upon for every silly little magical mishap you ponies get into. Now, if it was a catastrophe, like that whole Changeling debacle a while back? Then yes, I'd be only too happy to help. But this? This either needs to sort itself out, or..."
"Or?" Twilight asked, dread creeping into her voice.
"Or you visit the other world to go shopping for bras," Discord said with a smirk. "Because with breasts like those, Flurry's going to need them." And with that, he vanished.
Twilight deflated. "Wonderful," she muttered.
* * * * *
Dawn's royal purple electric mini-SUV cruised through the suburbs, her favorite neo-alt-rock stream playing as Flurry watched the scenery go by. "This is pretty cool!" Flurry said.
"Yeah, I like this band," Dawn agreed.
"Huh? No...well, yeah, the music too, but I mean this thing we're riding in," Flurry said. "It's like you've got your own little tiny train except you can go wherever you want in it!"
Dawn laughed. "That's...an interesting way to look at it," she said. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Umm...look, not that it's any of my business or anything, but...you're not seriously gonna do it with that dork Blaze, are you?"
"Well, I'd like to," Flurry said. "Why?" She grinned, her ears perking up. "He your boyfriend?"
"No!" Dawn said hotly. "I mean...okay, we went out a couple of times, but he's seriously like, all the worst parts of his mom and almost none of her good parts. I mean, okay, he's not a bad person, and if you need help with something he's always there to help, but..." She shook her head. "He thinks he's God's gift to women and he never lets up about it."
"Hm," Flurry mused. "Well...that sucks, I guess. But honestly? I don't really care about any of that, I'm just interested in his dick and what it can do for me."
Dawn turned green. "Ugh, you are obsessed," she said. "Just...just don't do anything stupid, alright?"
"I literally just said I was gonna do Prism Blaze," Flurry said with a smirk.
Dawn let out a bark of laughter. "Nice one!" She pulled into the driveway of a modest two-story house with a two-car garage. A black muscle car was parked in the garage; rather than pulling into the other space next to it, she parked behind it and turned off the engine. "Looks like Dad's home," she muttered. "This'll be interesting." She glanced at Flurry and frowned. "Can you cover up a little better? I'd rather not have you flopping out all over the place."
Flurry stuck her tongue out at Dawn, but pulled her robe closed and tightened the sash, then undid her seat belt and got out of the car.
"We'll head to my room first," Dawn said as she got out. "Can't do anything about underwear for you, but I'm pretty sure I can at least get you into a T-shirt and shorts that'll fit until Mom gets here."
"Thanks," Flurry said. As they walked through a gate that led around to the back porch, Flurry quietly asked, "Umm...are you mad at me or anything? Or..." She fidgeted. "I mean, my being here's not...do I bother you?"
Dawn blinked. "No, not really," she said. "I mean, you're...well...very confusing and it's gonna take a while to get used to you, but you seem pretty nice."
"So...you think maybe we can be friends?" Flurry asked hopefully.
Dawn smiled. "I hope so, because if not, living in the same house is gonna be awkward." She unlocked the door, and the two girls walked into the house. "Dad?" Dawn called. After a long moment with no response, Dawn shook her head. "He's either asleep, in the shower, or in the basement," she decided as she slipped off her heels and picked them up loosely with two fingers of one hand. "Come on, let's get you changed."
Flurry followed Dawn upstairs and into a modest bedroom with a twin bed, a study desk with a computer, a dresser, a medium-sized flatscreen TV with a few gadgets connected to it, and shelves on the walls with a smattering of books, video discs, and knick-knacks. Dawn loosely tossed her shoes into her open closet. "We'll get the guest room set up for you afterwhile," Dawn said as she rummaged through her dresser. "Right now, I just wanna get comfortable and chill for a little bit." She pulled out two pairs of shorts and two T-shirts, one dark blue and one hot pink. She tossed the blue shirt and a pair of denim shorts to Flurry, who caught them in her magic. "Will that be okay?"
"Mm-hmm," Flurry said, eyeing the clothing. "It'll do for now. When I get some clothes of my own, I'll have to fix them so my wings and tail won't..." She grimaced. "I hope you guys have a sewing machine." She set the clothes on Dawn's bed, then shrugged off her robe and stepped out of her slippers.
Dawn bit her lip. "Might have to get Mom's friend Rarity to help with that, she has a studio downtown. We'll ask Mom when she gets back." She looked Flurry up and down. "So, umm...you really turned yourself into that? From a pony?"
"Yeah," Flurry said. She put her hands on her hips. "What do you think? I mean, really."
Dawn snorted. "Well, you know what the boys like, I'll give you that," she said as she peeled off her jacket and hung it in the closet. She shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Umm...so...I gotta change too, so—"
Flurry smiled. "We're both girls, right?" she said. "I mean..." Her ears drooped. "Oh. You mean changing in front of me makes you uncomfortable."
"Well..." Dawn shrugged. "I guess not, I mean, I change clothes in front of other girls for gym class all the time." She started to strip off her shirt, then paused, glancing at Flurry and tilting her head.
Flurry blinked. "Dawn? Something wrong?"
Dawn's brow furrowed as she walked up to Flurry, leaning in close with her eyes narrowed. "Huh," she said, reaching out and brushing a hand across Flurry's bare shoulder. "You've got fur. I didn't notice that before." She traced a finger along Flurry's collarbone. "It's really fine, though, more like really light fuzz..."
Flurry blushed faintly. "Y-yeah," she said. "Auntie Twiley told me humans don't have coats the way ponies do, but I didn't...quite manage to get rid of mine all the way." She ducked her head. "Is it...is it weird?"
"Yeah," Dawn said absently. "Well, no, it's...actually kinda neat, I think." She ran her hand along Flurry's shoulder, feeling the faint fuzz tickle her fingers and palm. Then, she cupped Flurry's left breast in one hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Feels like a really big peach," she said, shaking her head. She let go and stepped back; noticing Flurry's blush, her eyes widened. "Oh. Um." She coughed. "S-sorry." Her own cheeks turned bright red. "I, uhh...didn't mean to—"
"N-no, it's...it's alright," Flurry said. "I just wasn't expecting that." She grabbed the shorts from the bed and pulled them up her legs, seating them as high up on her butt as she could before her tail got in the way, then pulled the shirt over her head and tried to get everything, both front and back, settled comfortably. Dawn, completely red in the face, shucked her top and skirt, and put on her own shorts and T-shirt. Once the two girls were dressed, they looked at each other, burst into giggles, and headed downstairs.
* * * * *
Prism Blaze found his mother, Rainbow Dash, in the living room when he got home. She was sprawled out on the sofa, clad only in panties and a loose tanktop; she had a bottle of cider in one hand and was sound asleep, snoring loudly as an old Daring Do movie played on their wall-sized ultra-def TV. Snorting, Blaze walked over to the sofa, jammed a hand down Rainbow's tank top, and gave her boob a hard squeeze.
"GYAAH!" Rainbow cried, jerking abruptly awake. "Oh. Hey Priz. 'Sup?"
Blaze shook his head and took the mostly-empty cider bottle, walking to the kitchen and setting it by the sink. He rummaged around in the fridge and came up with two root beers, then headed back to the sofa and handed Rainbow one before settling down in the recliner perpendicular to the sofa. "You're not gonna believe what happened today," he said, tossing his phone to his mother.
Rainbow, confused, swiped the screen. She blinked at the pictures that came up. "Dafuq?" She blinked again, shaking her head. "What's this, a new Pestergram filter?"
Blaze snorted. "Get this, this horse chick from Equestria just showed up butt naked in the middle of lunch." He explained, briefly, the arrival of Flurry Heart and the subsequent arrival of Princess Twilight Sparkle. "So Flurry's sticking around for a bit." With a lascivious grin, he added, "Oh, and I'm pretty sure she's gonna be...stopping by, if you know what I mean."
Rainbow snickered. "Nice. So Twilight came through the portal today, huh? Wish Sunset had told me, I haven't seen her in ages."
"Eh, she was here for about five minutes," Blaze said indifferently. "Besides, I don't see the big deal. I mean, she looks like Dusk's mom, just...with a fancy dress and a makeover." He shrugged. "I think I like Dusk's mom better, actually. She's got that hot nerdy MILF thing goin' on. This other Twilight was just..." He frowned thoughtfully. "She didn't seem real, somehow. Like, you know, one of those old goddesses you read about in mythology."
Rainbow chuckled. "Yeah, that's a princess from Equestria alright. I'll never forget the one time we all met Princess Celestia." She shivered. "Yikes." She looked at the pictures on Blaze's phone again, then tossed it back to him. She stood up and stretched. "Guess I better get cleaned up," she said. "Gotta do a thing in...crap, an hour and a half. You good for dinner?"
"Yeah, think I'm gonna order a pizza," Blaze said.
"Cool." Rainbow wandered off to shower. Blaze watched her saunter away, his eyes never leaving her tight, panty-clad ass.
Just because she was his mother didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the show, after all.
* * * * *
Flurry examined the apple she'd just bitten into. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear this was a Sweet Apple Acres apple," she said.
"It is," Dawn said. The two girls sat on the living room sofa, each with a bottle of water and an apple; Dawn was browsing the channel guide on the TV. "Perks of Mom being friends with Miss Applejack, we always get the best apples straight from the farm."
Flurry took another bite. "Not quite as good as the ones back in Equestria, but I guess that's because there's no earth pony magic here," she decided. "Still, pretty good." She turned her gaze to the TV. "So what's this thing again?"
"The TV? It's...well, you'll get the idea," Dawn said. She settled on a reality show about a bakery, then leaned back. "Nothing really good on right now," she said, taking a swig of water. They heard a door open elsewhere in the house, followed by the thump of footsteps on stairs. "And there's Dad," Dawn said. "So he was in the basement..."
"Dawn? You home?" a man's voice called from the hallway.
"Yeah Dad," Dawn called back.
A man walked into the room. He was tall, with a lean but somewhat toned build that suggested he took care of himself but didn't necessarily spend time working out at the gym. He had peach-colored skin and blue hair that was cut short in front and on the sides, but hung loose and unkempt in the back. A scrub of dark blue stubble covered his chin. He wore an unbuttoned grey flannel shirt with the arms torn off over a black T-shirt with a shield-and-lightning-bolt emblem on the front, faded blue jeans, and dingy sweatsocks.
Flurry blinked. "Captain Sentry?" She nearly dropped her apple. "Did...did Mom send you to take me back? But...but she said—"
"Calm down, Flurry, this is just my dad," Dawn said.
Flash Sentry stared at Flurry, blinking. He rubbed his eyes, then looked again. His mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. "...what the—?"
"Dad, this is Flurry Heart," Dawn said. "Basically, she's visiting from Equestria and she's staying with us for a while."
Flash pursed his lips. He walked fully into the room, peering curiously at Flurry. "Huh," he said. "I mean, I've seen the girls pony up a million times, but they never went full horse like this."
Flurry laughed sheepishly. "Transformation spell gone wrong," she said. "Tried to turn myself human, ended up stuck like this."
"I see," Flash said slowly. "And...you thought I was...?"
"Well, you look like Flash Sentry, Captain of the Crystal Guard," Flurry said.
"He is Flash Sentry," Dawn said, "but he isn't captain of anything here."
"Nope, no captaining here," Flash said with a chuckle. "Just a session guitarist and plain old slacker dad."
Dawn frowned at her dad. "You're taking the alien pony girl awfully calmly," she said.
Flash shrugged. "When I proposed to your mom, she took me to Equestria because she felt like I needed to really understand everything. Once you've seen Equestria with your own eyes, nothing really fazes you anymore."
"Wish my mom and dad felt that way," Flurry muttered. She glanced at Dawn. "You've never been to Equestria?"
Dawn shook her head. "Mom never really saw the point in taking me and I never asked to go. I mean, I know all about it, I've seen Mom and her friends' magic and the portal and all that, but I've never gone through." She shrugged. "Don't really want to. Err...no offense."
"None taken," Flurry assured her.
Flash coughed. "So...you're staying with us for a while?" he asked.
"Yeah," Flurry said. "It's kind of a long story, but basically I'm here to make friends and get away from the Crystal Palace for a bit."
"I..see," Flash said. He glanced at her horn. "And, umm...you have...unicorn magic?"
"That's right," Flurry said, nodding. She levitated a throw pillow and floated it around the room. "That's why I'm not freaking out about being stuck like this. I've got the sexy body I wanted and all my magic." She shrugged. "I mean, Mom's still freaking out about it, but I'm cool with this."
"Well okay then," Flash said after an awkward pause. "Dawn, is your mom working late?"
"She's doing a little clothes shopping for Flurry," Dawn said. "Said she'll grab dinner on the way home."
"Cool," Flash said. "Well I'm gonna be in the den. Let me know when Sunset gets home." With that, he ambled off.
"Your dad seems nice," Flurry said.
"He's pretty cool," Dawn said.
"He's way cooler than the Flash Sentry back in Equestria," Flurry said, rolling her eyes. "He's such a weiner..."
* * * * *
"And you're...absolutely sure about this, Your Highness?"
Princess Cadance sighed. "Yes, Captain Sentry. I promise you, Flurry will be safe in the human world. She's still got her magic, she's under the watchful care of Princess Twilight's good friend Sunset Shimmer..." She shrugged with her wings. "Honestly? This could be the best thing for her right now." With a smirk, she added, "At least this way you won't have as many...incident reports to deal with."
Flash Sentry grimaced. "These recruits," he said, shaking his head. "I swear to Celestia, they can't keep it sheathed for five seconds..."
Cadance giggled. "It's funny hearing that from you, Flash," she said teasingly. "Remember when you were just a regular guard, and how you kept trying to—"
"Please, Your Highness," Flash said in a pained voice. "I don't need to be reminded of how I used to constantly embarrass myself around Princess Twilight." He sighed and shook his head. "I was a different pony back in those days. A different pony..."
Cadance rolled her eyes. "Oh, for Celestia's sake, you're not some war-weary old soldier with battle scars," she said. "The worst thing you've ever had to deal with was Shining Armor chasing you all around the Crystal Empire hurling water balloons full of ink at you." She snickered. "I've seen him do a lot of dorky things, but that..."
Flash chuckled. "Yeah, that...I gotta admit, in hindsight, that was pretty funny..." He sighed. "Okay, so you're absolutely sure Princess Flurry is safe?"
Cadance smirked. "If it makes you feel any better, I hear Sunset Shimmer's husband is the other world's Flash Sentry. So in a way, you're still looking out for her."
Flash blinked, then shook his head. "Yeah, I'll still never get used to that idea," he said. He sighed. "Other me is a lucky bastard," he added under his breath.
"Yes. Yes he is..."
* * * * *
Bibi strolled through the staff door of Party Cave, the party store/bakery/catering/party planning business her parents owned. Putting her bag in a locker, she grabbed her nametag and clipped it to her sweater, then walked through the swinging double doors into the vast catering kitchen. Immediately, she spotted her mother, Pinkie Pie, hard at work mixing batter. "Hi Mom," she called.
"Hey Bibi!" Pinkie exclaimed cheerfully. "Can you gimme a hand? I've got a two-layer ready that needs the number three set. Card's next to the cake."
"Sure," Bibi said, heading to the cooling cake her mother pointed at and pulling out various icing bags and decorating tips.
"How was school?" Pinkie asked as she poured batter into a pan and sprinkled candy-coated chocolate candies into it.
"It was okay," Bibi said. "Made a new friend."
"Oooh! Who is it? Is it a boy or a girl? What are they like? Do you want to throw a new friend party?"
Bibi rolled her eyes. "Well, you probably might," she said. "Her name is Flurry Heart—"
Pinkie let out a loud gasp; confetti and balloons exploded out of her hair with loud noisemaker sounds. "PRINCESS Flurry Heart?!" she exclaimed. "From Equestria?"
"That's right," Bibi said.
Pinkie squealed excitedly. "I haven't seen Flurry since she was a teeny-tiny little foal!" she said. "Wow, that brings back memories..."
"Yeah, well, she turned herself into some kind of pony girl. Like how you and your friends look when you pony up, only...more pony. In the face."
Pinkie frowned. "Like a cartoon character?"
"Yeah, like that."
"Wow," Pinkie said. "So what, her mom and dad decided to send her here to make friends because they couldn't deal with a half-pony half-human daughter running around and thought maybe Sunset Shimmer could handle it better?"
"Something like that," Bibi said. "Also apparently she's a slut."
Pinkie blinked. "Huh. Did not see that coming." She shook her head. "Guess I need to break out the pan for a dick cake."
"Oh god NO, Mom!" Bibi cried, almost squirting vanilla icing across the room.
The door between the kitchen and the store opened, and a tall, gangly man with golden-brown skin and long, curly brown hair walked in, wearing a loud yellow Hawaiian shirt and khakis. "Hello, happy family!" he called.
"Hey Dad," Bibi said.
"Hey Cheesie," Pinkie said. "Perfect timing, we've got an important party to plan!"
"I know," Cheese Sandwich said. "My Cheesie Sense told me we do." He glanced at Bibi. "It also told me Bibi's being a buzzkill again."
"I am NOT being a buzzkill!" Bibi exclaimed. "I just don't want Mom embarrassing me in front of all my friends by showing up for Flurry's welcome-to-CHS party with a dick cake!"
"Aww, but I like embarrassing you!" Pinkie whined. "It's half the fun of having a daughter!"
Bibi sighed. "I noticed," she muttered as she went back to work on the cake.
* * * * *
Cinnamon Apple grimaced as she killed the engine of her ancient pickup and got out, wincing at the soreness in her butt, thighs, and shoulders. "Dammit all, Ah don't wanna spend another whole weekend gittin' this suspension fixed." Shaking her head and slamming the door, she grabbed her backpack out of the bed of the truck and walked around to the kitchen door at the back of the farm house. The kitchen windows were open; as usual, sweet smells wafted out, enticing and mouth-watering. She pushed open the door and entered. "Ah'm home," she said.
Her mother, as expected, was busy bustling around the kitchen, rolling dough and simmering spiced fruits on the stove, her long purple hair held back by a pair of scrunchies, one at the nape of her neck, the other near the end. "Welcome home, sweetie," Sugar Belle said. "How was your day?"
"A mite confusin'," Cinnamon said. "Ah'll tell you all about it soon as Ah make sense of it mahself." She glanced at the other woman in the room, who sat at the kitchen table playing with her phone. "Howdy Auntie Apple Bloom!"
Apple Bloom smiled. "Howdy yerself," she said. "Wanna sit an' chat a spell?"
Cinnamon grimaced. "Can't," she said. "Got a truckload of homework an' Ah promised Papa Ah'd fix that dang loose drainpipe." She sighed. "Jes' gonna go change inta some old work duds an' take care of that before supper." She frowned. "Where's Auntie Applejack?"
"Oh, she had to head out to Appleloosa this morning," Sugar Belle said. "Braeburn came down with the flu, so Applejack's filling in for him at the rodeo."
Apple Bloom stood up. "Think Ah'll help ya with that drainpipe," she said. "Need t' stretch mah legs a bit anyway."
"Much obliged," Cinnamon said.
Several minutes later, Cinnamon and her aunt were back outside, dressed in patched, frayed old work clothes, bent over a rattling drainpipe that creaked in the wind. "So," Apple Bloom said cheerfully, "tell me all about that horse gal that showed up today."
Cinnamon blinked. "How'n th' hell'd you know about that?"
Apple Bloom grinned. "Ain't nothin' that goes on at CHS that Ah don't know about," she said. "Or did you forget Ah'm best friends with y'all's guidance counselor?"
Cinnamon chuckled. "Well now, that's true enough," she said. As they got to work, she told Apple Bloom everything she knew about Flurry Heart...
* * * * *
Alto Sax stepped off the bus, his schoolbag slung over his shoulder and his saxophone case weighing heavily in his off hand, and walked the last block to the apartment building where his family lived. Music practice had run long and had been exhausting, and on top of all the other drama of he day, he was sore, weary, and wanted nothing more than a long, hot bath and an early bed.
Once he was inside, he slipped out of his shoes and left them on the cubby by the door, next to his father's worn-out velcro sneakers and his mother's shiny heels. His father was, as usual, parked on the living room sofa, eyes narrowed in concentration as he played the latest video game he was obsessed with. A door opened further in the house, and his mother emerged from the master bedroom, her hair wrapped up in a fluffy towel as she padded barefoot into the living room. "Welcome home, Alto!" she said.
"Mother," Alto greeted. "You've already taken a bath?"
Sweetie Belle nodded as she headed for the kitchen. "Wanted to get it out of the way early," she said. "It's all yours."
"Thank you," Alto said simply. As he passed through the living room, he nodded to the red-haired man on the sofa. "Father."
Button Mash grunted something that might be a greeting, never taking his eyes off his game.
"Don't forget to eat dinner!" Sweetie Belle called as Alto left the living room.
"I don't feel especially hungry," Alto said. "Just exhausted. I might retire early."
"Oh. Well...okay, honey," Sweetie Belle said. "I love you!"
"I love you too, Mother."
* * * * *
A couple of hours passed before Sunset Shimmer arrived, carrying a few bags of Chineighse takeout. "Dawn? I've got stuff in the car, can you get it for me?"
"I'll get it," Flash said, giving his wife a kiss on the cheek before heading out to the garage.
"Mmm, something smells good," Flurry said as she followed Dawn into the kitchen, where Sunset started unpacking the takeout bags, setting square paper cartons in neat rows on the counter.
Sunset paused for a moment. "Crap, I forgot," she said. She looked up at Flurry seriously. "Okay, let's get this one out of the way right off the bat. We eat a lot of meat in this world. Mostly meat from pigs, cows, and chickens."
Flurry nodded. "Yeah, I kinda figured that out."
"We...had that talk after a bunch of ads for burger places on TV," Dawn said.
"Oh," Sunset said. "Well. That's helpful." She pursed her lips. "Will you be alright with that, Flurry?"
Flurry shrugged. "I guess," she said. "I mean, if it's what you eat here, it's what you eat. It's not like I've never had fish or chicken before."
"True," Sunset nodded. "I imagine you would have at some point."
"And technically you've already eaten pork and beef," Dawn pointed out. "That pizza we had after school had pepperoni on it."
"I wondered what that was," Flurry mused.
While Flash hauled in several bags with the Navy Blue logo on the sides, Dawn and Flurry helped Sunset set the table. "By the way, Auntie Sunset," Flurry said as she floated half the cartons to the table with her magic, "I'm probably gonna need your Rarity's help altering all my clothes."
"Oh?" Sunset asked.
"Wings, tail," Flurry pointed out.
"Oh," Sunset said, eyes wide. "I didn't even think about that. Okay, I'll call Rarity after dinner and let her know. Guess I'll have to drive you over to her place tomorrow before work." She frowned. "Actually, maybe I'd better take the day off tomorrow, help you get settled in."
"Sorry to put you to so much trouble," Flurry said.
"Oh, it's no trouble," Sunset said with a reassuring smile.
Once everyone sat down around the table, they filled their plates with various Chineighse dishes, egg rolls, and rice. Sunset passed chopsticks around the table; Flurry watched her hosts break the chopsticks apart and attack their food with gusto. She frowned and tried to duplicate the feat, but try as she might, she couldn't get the little bamboo sticks to work together to pick anything up. Finally, with a groan of frustration, she gave up and used her magic to levitate bites of food to her mouth. "This is good," she said around a mouthful of sweet and sour pork.
"Oh crap, I'm sorry," Sunset said. "Would you like a fork instead? We're so used to using chopsticks with Chineighse..."
"It's cool," Flurry said. "I'm good like this."
"This is kinda fun to watch," Dawn said, eyes wide with wonder as she watched food float off Flurry's plate and into her muzzle. Flash chuckled; Sunset groaned.
"So Flurry," Sunset asked, "I have to ask..." She paused, seeming to weigh her words carefully. "From the sound of things, you're having trouble making friends back home. Is it...is it because you're the Crystal Princess? Or is it something else?"
Flurry frowned. "It's definitely something else," she said. "Like a total lack of ponies my age in the Crystal Empire."
"Really?" Dawn asked. "How come?"
"Yeah, that seems...odd," Sunset added curiously.
Flurry shook her head. "It's...how much do you know about the Crystal Empire?"
"Not much," Sunset admitted. "I know about the crystal ponies, the Crystal Heart, and King Sombra. I know your mom and dad rule it. Beyond that, I don't really know much of anything." She chuckled ruefully. "I'm kinda behind the times on a lot of what goes on in Equestria..."
Flurry nodded. "Well, the thing is..." She paused for a bite of rice. "The crystal ponies...they're not having babies."
Sunset, Dawn, and Flash blinked at that. "They're not?" Sunset asked.
"They can't," Flurry added. "They're also not aging." She shrugged. "It took us several years to realize anything was wrong, and we almost had a crisis when a wave of depression swept through the Empire and the Crystal Heart stopped working." At Dawn and Flash's confused glances, she added, "Long story."
"The good spirits and feelings of love of the Crystal Empire power a relic that keeps the eternal winter that surrounds the Empire at bay," Sunset explained crisply. "It also keeps out anything dangerous."
"Right," Flurry agreed, noting the bewildered expressions on the other two humans' faces. "Anyway, the crystal ponies are frozen in time. They're not getting older, they can't have any new children. All the kids in the Crystal Empire are, well...kids forever." She grimaced. "And even the ones that are 'around my age' won't be sooner or later. I had some friends when I was younger, but..." She sighed. "I grew up, they didn't, and then..." She shrugged. "I mean, it shouldn't matter, but it does, you know?"
"Oh my god," Dawn said quietly. "I can't even imagine that."
"How do they not go insane?" Flash wondered.
"Pretty much by being a living history museum," Flurry said with a frown. "Or tourist attraction, depending on how you look at it. Sunburst and some of the other researchers are trying to find a way to dispel whatever's keeping them all frozen in time. They're pretty sure it's part of King Sombra's curse."
An uncomfortable silence fell over the table, punctuated only by the sounds of clacking chopsticks and ice clinking in cups.
"Hey Auntie Sunset?"
"Yeah?"
"That boy Dusk, the one with the glasses...he's the other Twilight's kid?"
"Yeah, he's her son, why?"
Flurry frowned thoughtfully. "But Auntie Twiley doesn't have any kids. I mean, Dusk Horizon doesn't exist in Equestria."
Sunset shrugged. "Well neither does Dawn," she pointed out. "And there's no Flurry Heart in this world except you."
Flurry blinked. "...what?"
"This world's Cadance and Shining Armor aren't...well, anything to each other, really." Sunset waved her chopsticks around. "That's the thing about this world, it's not a perfect match to Equestria. Just because two ponies got together and had a family there, it doesn't mean their counterparts got together here. And vice versa."
Flurry shuddered. "A world where my mom and dad never got together and I was never born...that's a little creepy."
* * * * *
The first thing Dusk Horizon saw when he opened the front door was a small purple blur shooting out into the yard. He chuckled, shook his head, and stepped back, watching his mother's dog Spike dash excitedly around, sniffing everything. "Hey," he called. "Mom hasn't let you out all day?"
Spike looked up from where he was sniffing an anthill. "Eh, she's been in the lab all day, you know how she is," he said with a roll of his eyes.
Whatever magic had given Spike the ability to talk had also prolonged his life far beyond the norm. This had led to the rather unique situation of Dusk Horizon growing up in a household that not only had the world's only talking dog, but the world's oldest talking dog. And yet, he was still small, cute, and cuddly, which Twilight Sparkle had long since decided was perfectly fine by her.
And yet, Dusk mused wryly as he watched Spike look for just the right place to go...
"You know, there are such things as litterboxes," Dusk said. It wasn't the first time he'd suggested it.
Spike snorted contemptuously. "Psh, those are for cats," he said derisively. It wasn't the first time he'd rejected the suggestion.
"More and more dog families are training their dogs to use the litterbox," Dusk pointed out.
"Yeah, but the litterbox isn't outside, where the trees and the grass and the dirt and the squirrels are," Spike retorted.
Dusk shook his head and laughed, knowing he had once again lost the argument. Seventeen years and he'd not successfully won one yet. "Alright, just let me know when you're done," he said as he went inside, wending his way through the spacious living room with its linoleum floors and dark wood-paneled walls, headed for the stairs.
The family actually lived downstairs; upstairs had a guest room, a second bathroom, and Twilight Sparkle's laboratory, which occupied half the floor and had been custom built to her exact specifications. It was here where dozens of her patented inventions had been developed, tested, and perfected. It was here where she had given Dusk an education far beyond what he was learning in school.
It was here where Twilight Sparkle had impressed upon him, time and again, that the most important thing he would learn at school would not come out of a textbook or out of a teacher's mouth. It would come from spending time with his friends.
The light next to the lab door glowed a steady green, which meant it was safe to go inside. Dusk knocked, then opened the reinforced door and stepped inside.
Twilight Sparkle stood over a series of instruments, long lavender fingers flying across a tablet, purple eyes moving rapidly behind her black-framed glasses. Her bobbed violet hair was a mess, a pencil was tucked behind one ear, and safety goggles hung around her neck. She wore a white lab coat over a blue turtleneck, a knee-length dark purple skirt, and brown loafers.
"Hey Mom," Dusk called quietly. If she was too deep in concentration, he didn't want to interrupt her; if she was free to talk, she'd answer.
"Hey," Twilight said absently. "So who came through the portal today? Also, what the heck happened over there?"
Anyone else would have wondered how Twilight knew something strange had happened at CHS. Or perhaps assumed Principal Shimmer had called her. Dusk knew better; his mother had an entire network of sensors installed at various points across the CHS campus, specifically and painstakingly attuned to Equestrian magic.
"Funny you should mention that," Dusk said. "I met her today. The Princess. You know, the other you."
Twilight's fingers stopped moving. "Oh," she said. "That's interesting. How was she?"
Dusk considered his answer for a brief moment. "Very princessy," he decided. With a grin, he added, "Gotta admit, it was pretty neat seeing what you'd look like if you cleaned up and grew your hair back out."
Twilight snorted. "Pretty Princess Tries-Too-Hard," she grumbled good-naturedly. "Being a perfect prom queen might be fine for her, but I'll stick with what's practical and easy."
Dusk chuckled. "Well, you look great just the way you are, Mom," he said. *A lot of my friends sure seem to think so...*
"So what did Her Highness want?" Twilight asked, going back to work on her tablet.
"Oh, right, the other thing that happened," Dusk said. "So...she wasn't the only princess from Equestria that showed up today." He walked into the lab and sprawled out on the leather love seat in the corner where Twilight often took naps while working. "Ever hear of a girl named Flurry Heart?"
Twilight stopped working again, turning to face Dusk for the first time since his arrival. "Flurry? You mean the Princess' niece? Which...I guess means she's sort-of my niece too, kinda?"
"That's right," Dusk said. "She's gonna be living here in our world for a while, going to CHS."
"Oh, really?" Twilight blinked. "Wonder what brought that on."
"Well, she had some kind of magical accident," Dusk said. He pulled out his phone, swiped through his photos, then held it out for his mother. She took it, looked at the picture, and raised an eyebrow.
"Gwah," she said. "How'd she manage that?"
Dusk snickered. "Some kind of crazy sex thing," he said, shaking his head. "She's...basically about as bad as Prism Blaze, if you can believe that."
Twilight blinked repeatedly. "Cute little Flurry? Are you kidding me?"
Dusk shrugged and motioned to his phone. "Exhibit A," he said. "Anyway, she's stuck like that and she somehow managed to teleport herself here without using the portal, so...yeah."
"Wow," Twilight said as she handed Dusk back his phone. "I'll have to call Sunset afterwhile and get all the details." She frowned. "So where's she staying while she's here?"
"With Dawn and Principal Shimmer." Dusk stood up and stretched. "Anyway, I've got homework to finish up before dinner and probably need to clean up after Spike first. Don't forget to come down for dinner, okay?"
"Actually, I'm almost done here, so I'll make dinner tonight," Twilight said. "How's spaghetti sound?"
"Sounds great," Dusk said as he headed for the door, leaving Twilight to her work.
* * * * *
After a long, hot shower, Flurry padded to the guest room she and Dawn had spent most of the evening preparing, shed her robe, and slipped into bed naked. She tucked her wings in tight against her body and pulled the soft sheets and thick, fluffy comforter up to ward off the chill of the night. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought about all the interesting people she'd met over the course of one of the most exciting days she'd had in a long time.
Dawn Shimmer, who was almost identical to her mother in every way and who she was already well on her way to becoming good friends with.
Prism Blaze, a boy who was clearly only interested in her for her body. Which was fine with her, because she was only interested in him for his.
Dusk Horizon, son of this world's version of Auntie Twiley. He was cute and she definitely wanted to spend some quality alone time with him, but she didn't have a very good read on his personality yet. She found herself far more interested in getting to know him before getting to know him.
Bibi Pie, who was so very much like Auntie Pinkie, and yet so much not—as though all the fun and zaniness of her funnest aunt were toned down and softened by a temper and a healthy dose of teenage angst.
Cinnamon Apple, the daughter of Big Macintosh and Sugar Belle. Flurry already knew her Equestrian counterpart, and...there wasn't really difference. If you met one Apple, you'd pretty much met the whole family.
Alto Sax... Flurry frowned. He seemed to be a little prissy and uptight; she hadn't seen him smile even once the whole day. He reminded her of the no-fun nobles Mom and Dad had to deal with all the time. She wasn't sure whether or not she'd have enough to talk about with him for the two to even be friends. Still, he seemed to be friends with a bunch of interesting people...
And then there was Eris. Flurry had no idea what to make of her. She was nice enough, but radiated an aura of gloom. And there was all the black she wore.
Flurry sighed contentedly, looking up at the darkened ceiling above. "Well," she said to herself, "you wanted to get out of the Crystal Empire, now here you are." She closed her eyes, her wings shifting as she used her magic to adjust her pillows. "I just hope..." She yawned mightily. "...this world is as fun as it looks..."
* * * * *
The sun had long since set when Eris walked through the front door of the modest two-bedroom apartment. "Mom, I'm home," she called. "I brought salads." A white bunny hopped up to her, sniffing curiously at the bag she held. She gently toed him away. "Not for you, Angel," she said. Angel huffed up at her and bounced away, chittering angrily. Eris shook her head and walked across the living room's thin carpet, headed for a slanted white drawing table which occupied almost a quarter of the floor space, at which sat her mother, whose long, soft cherry blossom pink hair tumbled loosely about her shoulders as she focused on the half-finished illustration that sat before her. "Mom," she said again.
Fluttershy jerked, craning her head around to look at Eris with veiny blue-green eyes. "Oh, you're home," she said quietly, smiling gamely. "How was your day?"
"Fine," Eris said. "I brought salads. Have you eaten?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "I haven't, thank you," she said. She stood up and stretched, wincing as she massaged a kink in her neck. "Oh, umm...your father's working late again tonight," she said apologetically. "He...he won't be home until later, so...so don't wait up for him."
"Sure, Mom," Eris said tonelessly as she unpacked dinner, placing two dinner salads and several little plastic tubs of dressing on the living room table and plopping down on the worn-out sofa.
Her father had "worked late" every night Eris could remember. Probably since the day she was born. She'd never once seen him—not on her birthday, not on any holiday.
Fluttershy always insisted he was "working late" to provide for them. Even as she went to bed every night with red eyes after spending most of her day illustrating page after page of the comics she sold online.
Eris couldn't bring herself to tell her mother she knew the truth. That there was no father, that there was no "working late". That they were alone.
Surely Fluttershy would admit the truth to herself sooner or later...
