Harshwhinny and the Human: Redux

Mondays are the worst day of the week, in fact I'd go so far as to say that Mondays are the worst thing to have ever existed. Wednesdays are great because it's pay day, and Friday, is the start of the weekend. But Mondays? Just the start of another five days hard work. That said, not all Mondays are created equal. Some are better, and some are worse – one particular Monday was one of those outliers.

I suppose I should explain myself and my dislike of Mondays. My name is James “Jim” McTavish and for the past year I'd been working for the Equestrian Government as part of a personnel exchange programme between Britain and Equestria. I was assigned to a mare by the name of Ms. Harshwhinny who worked in their equivalent of the Department for Digital, Culture, Media & Sport. She was a real taskmaster and very prim and proper. That, combined with her plummy accent, the way her mouth moved as she spoke and her pert rump, always got me thinking of her in ways I wouldn't have liked her to know about. For her part she always seemed so remote, calling me “Mr the Human” instead of Mr McTavish and certainly not James.

The morning in question had gone by so slowly I thought that lunch time would never arrive, but eventually, the clock hands crept to the twelve O'clock position. Just as I was putting on my jacket, I heard a familiar throat clearing noise.

'Ah, Mr the Human.' I turned around to see Harshwhinny had left her office

'Ms Harshwhinny, what can I do for you? I was about to go for lunch but if you need me for something, I can spare a few minutes.' I asked in a respectful tone

She gave me a quick scan from top to bottom before replying.

'Oh, no there's nothing – for now. I just wanted to see how you were getting on with those reports but go have lunch. But ah – do fix those trousers, they're a bit untidy.'

I looked down, and my trousers were indeed all bunched up from sitting at a desk all day. I was most embarrassed to see that there was a rather obvious bulge to the front, which I hastened to amend.

'Better!' Ms. Harshwhinny said, giving me another appraising look '- But I hope you won't mind me saying so, but you should probably switch to looser undergarments, they present a more professional appearance. And I read that they are better for Human males.'

'Yes Ma'am, I'll switch to boxers starting tomorrow.' I replied, wondering where she read that boxer were better, and how.

For the rest of the day everything seemed to go as normal, Ms. Harshwhinny stayed in her office and only left to visit a different department at about three. I worked steadily through a report into a select committee's findings on the possibility of holding a sports competition where Humans and Ponies competed against each other. By the end of the day I was both bored and tired – a combination which led my mind to wander, and my eyes to droop. Mercifully, when I snapped out of my daze it was nearly quitting time, and there was no sign of Harshwhinny.

The next few months were likewise unremarkable – a never ending pile of paperwork to do, reports to write, letters to send and on-and-on with the drudgery of civil service. The only thing that broke up the monotony was Ms. Harshwhinny making repeated comments on my “professional appearance” such as “Don't wear that cologne. " "That tie doesn't suit you.” or “You need a haircut!” and “Get more sleep!” Like I said, she was a real taskmaster.

I was equal parts relieved and saddened when the exchange period was over. I finished work on that last Friday with great reluctance, and yet I looked forward to totally unwinding on the weekend. Which of course I did, getting blind drunk after months of restraint. The next week was the start of my year long sabbatical, and I planned to start enjoying it as soon as possible. That meant no more suits, sleeping in late and best of all being able to use my natural Scots accent instead of the more formal Edinburgh accent I learnt at the university there.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

Three loud bangs echoed like artillery fire thoroughly waking me from my rest

I groaned and looked at my bedside clock – it was half nine already!

'Mr The Human! I know you are in there so open up this instant!' came the muffled but strident voice of Ms. Harshwhinny

'Shit, shit, shit!' I thought, panicking 'What is she doing here?'

You see, it was summer and it was damn hot at night, so I slept naked to keep cool.

'Be with you in just a tick!' I yelled, casting about for something – anything to wear

In desperation, I fastened a bed sheet into a crude toga and headed to the bungalow door.
'Ms. Harshwinny! So sorry to keep you waiting, I was having trouble finding something to wear!' I said in what I hoped was a winsome voice

'I noticed.' she replied dryly 'Tell me, do you think a semitransparent bed sheet is appropriate attire when meeting with your former boss?'

'What?' I said blankly

Her eyes drifted downwards, and with a demure cough and slight motion of her head I clicked on to her meaning.
My wedding tackle was all too clearly visible through the thin cotton sheet.

'Oh cock! I'll go get some real clothes on!' cringing internally as realised that I made a double entendre

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply through her nostrils before sighing in exasperation

'There's no time for that! I'm a very busy mare – truth be told I shouldn't have even come here today. Just take a seat and cover your... self as best you can.

Seeing as her face was red with anger, I did as I was told as she took a seat opposite me

'So why are you here? I thought you were taking this week off ?' I asked her

'I had forgotten that you need to fill in this questionnaire about the exchange programme. Ordinarily I'd just post it, but I was in the neighbourhood so I thought I may as well have you fill it in and wait.'

Shrugging my shoulders, I took the clipboard from her and began filling in the forms. It was all the usual stuff “on a scale of one to ten, rate your satisfaction” and “What could be done to improve the programme?” typical useless HR crap. All totally normal and above board – until I got to the last page.

'Ms. Harshwhinny, this is – well it's a crude drawing of a Human penis, yourself and love hearts with the words “Put a foal inside me now!” and “now” is in all capitals and underlined – twice.'

'Oh! Hahaha, how did that get there?' she laughed nervously 'One of my staff must have put that in there as a joke! Please ignore it. Here, I'll dispose of it.' And with that, she snatched the clipboard from my hands.

'But it's your writing.' I said but she pretended not to hear me.

'Well then, this all seems to be in order, I'll be going now, thank you for your time.'

Just as she was getting up to leave, the wind changed bringing a waft of cool air to my back

Ms. Harshwinny immediately wrinkled her nose

'What in Equestria is that smell?' she protested

I tested my armpit – it was pretty ripe

'Ah, that'll be me I'm afraid, I got rather sweaty last night.'

'I had no idea human males could smell...' she paused, swallowing hard ' so strong! Almost like a..a'

'Like a what?' I enquired, thinking she was going to say “an animal” or “a monkey”.

'I.. Oh, my, look at the time! I really do have to be going! Well, Mr The Human, you seem to be doing well so goodbye!' she gushed before bolting for the exit

'Oi! Hang on a bloody minute!' I cried, chasing after her

Just as I had almost caught up to her, a series of unfortunate events happened.

First, my foot caught on the trailing edge of my makeshift toga, causing me to loose my balance. Having stepped on the aforementioned toga, caused the loose knot to come undone. Not wanting to expose myself I made a wild attempt to grab the falling sheet, which threw me completely off-balance, sending me crashing to the floor.

I landed spread-eagled beside a red-faced Ms.Harshwhinny.

She looked down at me with that same cold, unemotional expression, and I think for sure she was furious inside. Before I could move or even open my mouth to speak she was on top of me, her weight bearing down on me.

'Ms. Harshwhinny, what the – MPHH!'

She silenced me with a kiss.

At first I was so in shock that she was kissing me that I didn't notice her tongue writhing around like – well I'm sure you know what a passionate French kiss feels like.

After a while, she broke off the kiss with an audible gasp and looked down at me in undisguised lust

'Do you mind explaining just what the hell you're doing?' I asked

'It's very simple Mr The Human, I am in heat, you are a male and I am going to get bred whether you like it or not!

'Well I don't like it! You're a Pony, and I'm a Human! There's no way I'm going to get it up for you.' I lied

'We'll see about that.' she growled

'The heck are you -' I began to ask

She backed herself up until our hips were aligned and then she began grinding herself on my flaccid member. My body reacted honestly even if I didn't, and before long I was fully erect.

'I thought so, now Mr The Human let us cut to the chase shall we?'

'What about “professionalism” Ms. Harshwhinny?'

'Oh to Tartarus with “professionalism”, I need this!' she replied throatily

'What, N-ahh!' I gasped as she impaled herself on my member

She was unbelievably tight and wet, and the walls of her cunt squeezed as she slid herself down. I tried to move, but she pushed me down remorselessly.

'Just stay still!' she insisted huskily

And that said, she started to ride me with abandon. Her fore-hooves were planted firmly on my chest, and her rear end slammed down with each thrust.

'Sweet Celestia, how I've dreamt of this!' she hissed through gritted teeth

Her face was contorted in lust, eyes half lidded and ears pinned back. In spite of myself I could not help finding the sight incredibly arousing.

'I felt you get even bigger! Mr The Human, are you cuming?' she trilled

'I, please – I can't!' I begged, trying to prevent the inevitable

She gave me a wicked grin and I felt her pussy flex in waves as she continued to fuck me.

'Yes, give it to me Human!' she cooed triumphantly as I let out a shuddering gasp, and my hips rose as jet after jet of man-seed sprayed her cervix as waves of contractions milked all the cum out of me

At this point, my mind was reeling.

'Oh man, did I, I mean we? Yep, she just fucked me, yep I had sex with a pony.'

Once my cock slipped out of her, she sighed contentedly, and rolled off me, panting heavily.

After taking a few moments to gather my strength, I stood up. With wobbly, lurching steps I made my way to the bathroom.