The Tenth Crusade: To Take Canterlot!

You open your eyes slowly, finding them sore and crusty. ~~Probably from crying~~ Probably from the blood of infidels. You begin to gain a better sense of your surroundings. You're currently on a small quilt laid upon the floor of what seems to be an archive of sorts, books of various colors and sizes surrounding you. You had always marveled at the patience that it took a scribe to copy, by hand, a single holy tome. You push yourself up into a sitting position, finding that you're still carved in your helmet and armor pieces. You feel your body ache from the weight of the steel protective pieces.

You don't however see any of the creatures you had met the previous day, only books as far as your eyes could see. Forcing yourself up you decide to search for the archivist that probably owns this place. You stand now in the middle of the room, having grabbed the quilt off of the floor and begin to fold it into halves.

"Hello! Beith there anyone here?" You shout out as you finish your folding, setting the cloth onto a nearby table.

"I don't mean to intrude, I have not the slightest idea why I'm here!" You call out, just in case the owner of this building is currently arming themselves, thinking you're an intruder or raider.

You begin to walk around the building, passing shelves upon shelves of colorfully bound books. 'They must have thousands of scribes working here' you think to yourself as you continue to meander around, finding more and more books as you continue to search for any signs of another being. Then you hear it, the sound of running water. Strange, you think to yourself, you had never heard of a waterwheel in any other building than a smithy. You venture toward the sound of running water, only to find that the sound is not only behind a small wooden door, but not accompanied by the systematic thunk of gears turning.

You brace yourself as you move an armorclad hand toward the door handle, not sure if you should be opening this door. You don't get the chance to open the door though, because as you are just about to lay your hand on the knob the door is opened inward. Thus revealing a very wet, very shocked Twilight Sparkle standing inside of a steam filled room. You see her eyes expand to the size of bucklers and her pupils shrink to pinpricks, all the while her face turns into a deep shade of red. Ypu find yourself being spun around and slid to the opposite side of the room, pressed into the wall by the same purplish glow you had seen yesterday.

You hear rapid hoofsteps moving behind you and then a door slam, you are then finally released by the magical aura and slump to the ground. You pick yourself up off the ground again, using the wooden wall as support and balance yourself upon your two feet. You make a movement toward where you had heard twilight run off to only to find a small lizard looking at you on the steps, his purple and green scales glisting in the morning light.

"Hey, good to see you're awake. Though you spooked Twilight pretty bad" he says scratching his round belly with a single clawed hand.

"I think she's embarrassed that you caught her coming out of the shower, don't know why though." He stops scratching And stands up, his stumpy legs pushing him upwards while he stretches his back.

"She never cares if her friends or I see her like that" He says, beginning to walk down the steps towards you. He stops with only a good between you and looks up at you from his low place, giving you a sharp-toothed grin.

"You are one wired thing, but it's cool that you're kinda like me!" He states, the smile growing larger, allowing you to see more of his sharp teeth

"I'm Spike!" He says, finally dropping the ear-to-ear smile into more of just a grin.

"I'm Twilight's number one assistant" he says proudly, accentuating his statement by throwing up a single clawed didgit.

You just continue to stand there, processing this information, not only was what happened yesterday not a dream, but there are talking lizards here also? Thinking back on what twilight said to you yesterday, apparently ponies and talking lizards weren't the only creatures that lived in this world of Equestria. You look down at Spike and find him looking at you expectantly, confused you tilt your head.

"What?" You ask, unsure of exactly what Spike wants from you. He let's out a childish laugh and quickly recomposes himself.

"I said: what is your name big guy?" He answers, still lightly chuckling to himself.

"I am Sir Rowan of the holy Knight's Templar order. I hath met Twilight yestermorn" you give spike a deep bow, extending one of your arms backward.

"It beith a pleasure to acquaint mineslef with her assistant" you say as spike begins to mimic your action, although sloppy, it was still cute.

"Well Sir Rowan, are you hungry? Because I was going to make myself some breakfast, care to join me?" Spike asks as he begins making his way around you, looking backwards at you.

"Gladly" you state, your stomach already feeling empty from the lack of food. Spike smiles and gestures you to follow and he leads the both of you towards the kitchen.

You had never seen such a strange kitchen before, no fire burning in the oven, no cauldron sitting in a flame, not even a single hung pheasant or rabbit to be seen. Spike seeing your generally confused state offers you a seat at the relatively large table as he walks over to a strange metal box standing next to the counter. He opens the door and you can feel the cool air spill out, you had never seen anything like it before. It was as though the door opened directly into winter itself! You see spike grab a few eggs from inside and close the door, ceasing the coldness's escape.

You watch in astonishment as he approaches another metal construct, this one being built into the counter itself and turns a knob, creating a small flickering flame instantly. He then places a pan onto tbe flame and proceeds to crack the eggs into the pan, pushing them around with a spatula. After a while he turns off the flame by rotating the knob back to its original position and removes the pan from the surface of heat, placing half of the eggs onto one plate, followed by placing the other half onto another.

"Here you go! I hope you like eggs, they're my third favorite food!" He says as he lays both plates on the table and begins munching away at his helping.

You are confused as to what those creations were that made your breakfast, but hunger overwhelms your mind and find yourself too interested in the food before you. You begin to slowly remove your gauntlets, careful as to not damage the leather straps that held them together in certain places, with this done you lay them on the table next to you with an audible clunk as the metal hits the wood. Spike stares at you in astonishment, perhaps he has never seen armor removed before? You reach up with your bare hands and move them underneath the greathelm, searching for the buckle that kept it secured on place. Finding it you undo the buckle and begin to remove your helmet, deciding to leave the arming cap on. As the helmet clear your head and you hold it above you, you are startled by Twilight looking at you her jaw dropped to the ground (literally) as she looks upon your unmasked face.

"Be there something the matter?" You ask Twilight as she appears to come out of the mesmerized trance she was in, picking her jaw off of the floor and reconnecting it with the rest of her face.

"N-no nothing wrong! Nothing at all!" her face behind to take a slight reddish hue, "I just thought that 'that' was your face!" She exclaims, pointing a hoof at your greathelm held between your grasp.

You look down at your helmet, it was an icon of the crusaders. The golden cross layered over the shining steel, one of the most terrifying things a heretic could witness. You could see how, never having taken it off in her presence, she could have thought that it was your true form. You begin to laugh heartily, continuing to grow until you were laughing like a madman.

"What's so funny?" Both Spike and Twilight ask in almost perfect unison. They're perplexed faces turning toward your jovial one.

"I am in disbelief that thoust thought that this beith mine true figure!" You say, finally getting a hold of yourself and calming down your laughter.

"Thou art like a child, believing that the first thing that crosses thine eyes is as it is" you finish, finally bringing yourself back to regular composure.

"Though I cannot blame thee, I hadn't removed mine helm in thine presence" you say in an attempt to calm the already growing frustration that Twilight seemed to be displaying.

She opens her mouth as if to say something, but you silence her with a raising of your hand.

"Come now, let us not ruin this morn. Join us in this meal!" You say, pulling out a chair for her to sit in and gesturing towards it.

"Alright" Twilight says as she grabs a collection of chopped fruits from the cold door.

"But you have some questions that need to be answered afterwards" she finishes as she takes a seat at the table, joining Spike and you for breakfast.

You had finished breakfast and Twilight had said that you could use the 'bathroom' to clean yourself up. While that sounded nice, you remembered a tale about how the filth of a man was his very being and that washing it away was like removing a part of you. However, you had to admit that you smelled quite ripe and your armor could use some proper care. So, deciding to go against legend, you made your way into the bathroom. Only to find that you were met with a very serious problem, you had no idea as how to operate the devices in here. There lie a large porcelain tub with a metal pipe bending up and curving back inward with two knobs located at the base of the pipe. You decided to take a guess as to the operation, not wanting to bother Twilight for something so simple as bathing.

You turned the knob with a blue coloring in its center and witnessed water begin pouring from the mouth of the pipe. You stuck your naked hand out to feel the water, only to find it uncomfortably cold. You then chose to turn the knob back and try the red colored knob. Once again testing the water with your hand you quickly had to pull your hand back due to the scalding hot water that had begun pouring into the tub. You fiddle around with the two knobs until you find a happy medium temperature and quickly, but carefully remove your various pieces of clothing and armor.

Removing first the tunic covering your chain protection, you take a second to admire the large red crucifix sewn onto both sides. The marking distinguished you from other orders and made it very clear that you were a Knight's Templar and that you to be treated with such respect. Placing it on the ground, you follow by undoing the belt st your waist. Allowing you to remove the chainlinked circus by lifting it over your head and letting it fall to the floor. You unbuckle the armored boots and shimmy out of the lightly armored grieves, leaving you only in your undergarments and loose shirt. Quickly tossing these into the same pile as the rest of your garb, you enter into the tub and the cascading water.

You had never felt so blissful, the warm water running down your form, washing away all of the pain and grime from your body. You notice that located on a small shelf next to the tub is various bottles. Choosing to grab and open one you are assaulted by the smell of lavender. It's smell is overpowering, but not unpleasant. In fact, it slightly reminds you of younger days when you would play in the fields with your brothers and sisters back in your home village. Pouring a generous ammount into your hands you begin to vigorously rub it all of yourself, coating yourself in that sweet floral scent. Finishing by rinsing yourself off you step out of the tub and begin searching for a method of drying yourself. You couldn't use your tunic, that'd be blasphemous and there was no point in trying yourself with your rancid clothes. You opt to call out for help, hoping your host or her assistant could acquire a towel for you.

"Twilight! I haven't a method of drying mineslef, couldst thou assist me!?" You call out, hoping that she or Spike could hear you. Soon you begin to hear hoofsteps outside the door.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I had meant to give you a towel, but I get forgo-" Twilight is stopped midsentence when she opens the door and is met by your naked form, your member facing her at eye level.

She begins stuttering nonsense and blushing profusely, though you fade no better. Quickly you attempt to cover yourself with your hands, but it was too late. Twilight had seen your spire of manhood and quickly set the towels down and exited the bathroom, leaving you standing there rather embarrassed. You quickly dry yourself and wrap a towel around your waist, making certain that it was secure before taking your apparel into your arms and exiting the bathroom.

You made a point to busy yourself with cleaning your armor and clothing, trying to clear your mind of what had just happened. Soon enough you had fallen into a trance of meticulously cleaning and checking your armor and clothing for wear and damage. You were so busy with your task that you didn't even realize that there was someone else watching your every action just over your shoulder.

"Whatcha doing?" You heard a familiar voice mutter from over your shoulder, startling you.

"AHH! Maria Virgo in corde!" you let out, spinning around to find yourself looking eye to eye with the same pink pony that had caught your shield yesterday.

"Hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie, but my friends just call me Pinkie. Although sometimes they call me Pinkie Pie, and sometimes I'm called Pinkamena Diane Pie. But that's only when I get in trouble and my parents are scolding me. What's your name, is it something really cool or is it something more boring? I don't mean boring I mean like normal, like Donut Joe or Greg. I didn't mean to call you boring and ...." Pinkie continues to speak, but you've lost track of what she was saying and are now just listing to this crazy pony talk on and on and on.

You quickly silence her by placing your hands around her snout and shutting her mouth, unsure if anything else could stop her. She does stop talking, but begins to giggle.

"Hehe, that tickles! Your claws are soft" she says through a closed mouth, the sound muffled and quieter.

"How didst thou enter the premises, I hadn't heard the sign of entry" you say, finally releasing her snout and allowing her to sit on the ground across from you. Her bright blue eyes staring at you, watching you as you speak.

"You sure do talk funny! Kinda like Princess Luna did, or does. She sometimes goes back to talking like she used to back in the old days. OH! Are you from the old days!? I mean from wherever you from that is, because you look like a lot of pictures of knights. Except instead of a pony you're a, well you're a.... hmmm what are you?" Pinkie asks, finally stopping her slurry of words and allowing you to recollect your scattered brain from her verbal assault.

"I beith Sir Rowan, man, and Knight Templar of the the holy order. Renown warrior and legendary crusader!" You boast, playing yourself up a bit.

You watch as Pinkie's smile widens to an unnatural size and then she opens her mouth to speak, but before she can say anything you raise a hand and stop her.

"Please fair lady Pinkie Pie, I beseech thee to keep thine words short and simple. Lest I lose myself in thine verbality" you state, lowering your hand and allowing a now more collected Pinkie Pie to speak.

"Well Sir Rowan, you already know that I'm Pinkie Pie" she says and you nod in response.

"When you said that you're a 'man' i think i know just the pony that you should talk to. Well, after the princesses speak to you and make sure you're alright to be walking around town!" She finishes, leaving you perplexed.

You thought that you had already spoken to the princess, how many princesses can one kingdom have? You decide to not worry about it and return to the task of cleaning your armor, turning back around and beginning to polish your greathelm.

"It was mine pleasure to meet thee Lady Pie. Perchance if thine princesses see me fit thoust could shom mineself to this pony that thoust speakith so fondly of" you say, turning to wish Pinkie a farewell. But upon turning around you find that all traces of her are gone! You decide not to worry your head about where and how she had gone and decide instead to finish your current task.

You finally finished cleaning your armor and begin to put back on your now dry clothing, after having left them hanging to dry. With your clothes on, followed by your armor you find yourself looking much better. The white of your tunic looking much cleaner and your armor shining in the afternoon sun. You're about to place and fasten your greathelm back on your head, but decide to leave it off. Especially if you are going to meet royalty, you feel it would be better if you spoke to them face to face. You place the helm underneath your arm as you exit in the main room of the library. You find Twilight pushing a few books back into their place, helped by Spike.

"Greetings friends!" You say, startling Twilight and making Spike turn his head and look at you.

"Hey Sir Rowan! Wow your armor is super shiney!" Spike remarks as he sets the few books he was holding down and walks over to you, admiring your now clean armor and clothing.

"G-good to see you too Rowan" Twilight says as she recomposes herself and places the remaining books back in their places, all the while avoiding eye contact with you.

"Is there something the matter Twilight?" You ask, wondering why she refuses to look upon you.

Then it hits you like a mace, she's still embarrassed about seeing your privates in the bathroom earlier today! Your face is quickly overcome by a blush and you too look away as the memory begins to run through your head.

"So Sir Rowan, I heard that the princesses are coming here to 'determine your safety', whatever that means" Spike says, clearly oblivious as to the situation between Twilight and you.

"Y-yes, I hath heard from Pinkie Pie that they wouldist arrive this day" you reply, perking the interest of Twilight as she turned around and faced you.

"You spoke to Pinkie? How? I don't even see her come in. I was in the library all morning" she asks perplexed, then she proceeds to just shrug it off. You have the feeling that she is used to this kind of thing with Pinkie Pie.

"On a more important matter, the princesses are indeed coming here. All three! And they want me to take part in your judgement so, try to present yourself as a gentlecolt. Please" she finishes, giving you the most adorable face you have ever seen. It feels as if you have looked upon the face of adorableness itself and it was begging you for something.

"I will attempt to act as honorous as thout wish" you reply, finishing the statement with a deep bow that you notice makes Twilight blush. She clears her throat and begins to speak again.

"They will be arriving soon, so I would like to have done help getting things cleaned up and made presentable here" she says, a slight bit of pleading can be heard behind her words.

You decide to help her with this task, giving her a quick nod.

"Great! Then this will take no time at all!" She says, clapping her hooves together and smiling widely.

Soon Twilight, Spike, and you are all cleaning up the library in preparation for the princesses' arrival. Just as you finish wiping down the last surface you hear a knock at the door, followed by Twilight approaching to open it. You knew who it was and mentally braced yourself as she neared the door. What would happen if they disapproved of you? You thought, would they banish me, execute me, send me home? Now you were both terrified and hopeful. You straightened your stance and clutched your greathelm tightly underarm as Twilight opened the door to reveal your judicators.