Fallout Equestria: Souls

by JustMoth

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Sex, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Original Character
Length: 91784

Life is not easy in Equestria 100 years after the mega-spells hit, and death is no picnic either...

Set 100 years after the war with the zebras violently ended, this is the story of an unlucky trader who suddenly finds himself dead and his afterlife somehow tied to two strange ponies. He now has to try and figure out daunting questions such as:
Who are these ponies?
Why is he stuck following them?
How did this happened?
Where are his hooves!?

This fan-fic is just a third of a much larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds.
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr(and ask Colt questions).
-See all the parts in one place at the Project Hub.

Published 2012-07-14 08:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-27 01:00:27 UTC

Act 1 - Part 1 : Ready...

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 1 : Ready…

Waste Land Survival Lesson 23:
“You’ll never forget something you learned the hard way.”

Over the course of my life I’ve learned many lessons on how to survive in this forsaken wasteland, and as a result I have lived long enough to learn several more. At this point I’ve gathered enough to make a list as long as a snake’s tail. There’s general rule of hoof things like “Never trust a gambler from Dise” (and trust me on that, I’m from Dise), to the more common sense things like “don't feed the yao guai”. I actually did consolidate the thirty best lessons that I’ve learned into a written list. I would give the list out to any interested pony I meet during my travels. Although, the only pony that seemed interested in the list so far was a pleasant pegasus mare that I once met, though I’m not sure how well they would apply to a ghoul.

I’ve learned most of these lessons while traveling around Equestria and the surrounding areas during my career as a merchant. My long travels had brought me from burnt out cities where life still hung on within the ruins, to new settlements trying to start over after the world ended 100 years ago. At each place I would make a modest living selling what wares I had in my saddle bags. I thank my luck that I was born an earth pony, giving me the strength to carry more than any unicorn or pegasus, but it was still barely enough at times. I’ve heard rumors of a race of two headed cows being found to the north, it’s said that they would gladly carry enormous weights for anypony, but it sounds too good (and weird) to be true.

Yet trading the meager items that I carried around wasn’t the main reason I would travel so far and wide, it wouldn’t be worth it, my real source of caps came from trading information. At each city, town, or village I went to I would make a list of what resources the local ponies had and what ones they needed. I would then cross-reference those lists with the ones from other locations and instruct the locals as to where they could trade what they had for what they needed. I would then make a list of what settlements I have networked together so I could check up on them when I was back that way again. You may have gathered that I like lists, and yeah, it’s kinda my special talent.

During all that travel I must have faced every danger, horror, and threat that resulted from the bombs falling a century ago. Creature threats like mutated animals or monster from before the war. Pony horrors like raiders and zombies. Environmental dangers like magical radiation and exposure to the elements (and not the harmony variety). Yet through gunplay, negotiation, preparedness, a fast gallop, or just blind luck I managed to live though them all and learn a lesson each time.

Now I just learned the hard way the most important lesson of all. Waste Land Survival Lesson 31: “Dying sucks!”

~~~***~~~

Aaaah! What in the seven layers of Tartarus!?

One moment I’m trotting through the eastern Equesterian desert, sticking close to a natural rock wall to get the most of the rapidly disappearing noon shade, and the next moment it feels like I’m being violently ripped out of my body. The time I was stung by a giant rad-scorpion and had all four legs broken by its pincers tickled compared to whatever that was.

The pain’s gone now… along with my old back leg pain… and my back leg! AND ALL OF ME!!

WHAT!?!

What’s going on? I’m here but I can’t see myself, and I can see quite a lot! Oh this is too weird! It’s like I can see in all directions at once, from all sides, this is too much… I can’t even close my eyes… I DON’T HAVE EYES!!

I have to calm down. I’ve survived weirder things that this. Well not weirder, but close…

I can see everything within roughly a large circle area, but with no fixed point of view, like I’m everywhere in the circle at once. Beyond the circle things in my perception start to blur more and more into indistinct colors as they get farther away.

Hmm. Maybe this is what one of those memory orbs are like. What if I somehow triggered one in the desert and the pain I felt was connecting into it. I’ve seen a unicorn have a very bad reaction trying to activate damaged memory orbs, lots of screaming and vomiting. Great, I probably threw up on myself…

No, three problems with that theory:

Only unicorns can use memory orbs and they have to actively activate them. It’s possible that somepony made one that an earth pony could use, but it’s very improbable that it would be lying around the desert and could be activated by accident.

Memory orbs are from somepony’s memory, so it’s reasonable to expect them to be from one perspective, not from all points at once. Though, I can’t know that for sure since I’ve never experienced one (unless I am now).

Memory orbs are from at least 100 years in the past, yet going by the position of the sun it seems to be still early morning in the same desert, just a different location. I know that a desert may not change much over 100 years and aside for those two ponies this looks like any bit of desert anywhere in Equestria.

Perhaps I was drugged and this is just a hallucination. Maybe I was tagged with a dart laced with Moondust and Party-time Mint-als, or stung by some cross between a cazadorable and a Rad.. wait…

There’s two ponies here!

Between the pain and new perception view I didn’t notice them at first.

Hey, can you tell me what’s going on?

They didn’t seem to hear me… oh, I don’t have a mouth…

HELP!!!!!

Screaming with my mind didn’t get their attention either. At least I still have a mind, even though I don’t think I have a brain. Although, losing my mind would explain a lot of what’s going on.

The two of them seemed to be arguing with each other.

“But I founf it and I wanna keeph it!” the bright yellow earth pony whined through the odd red pistol she held in her moth. She wore an old canvas duster coat, and from the parts it didn’t cover I could see the tell-tale blue and yellow of a Stable jumpsuit under it. It may have been the way her strong jaw contrasted with her slim form, or the fact that her duster was several sizes too larger, but there’s just something about her that looked… wrong. I can’t put my hoof on it… I DON’T HAVE HOOVES!

Ok, I have to stop freaking out about being currently incorporeal…

“Fine, you can keep it!” the mare’s dark olive companion said in a frustrated tone. “Just put it away for now. If you keep waving it around like that without any gun safety training, you’ll wind up getting somepony killed!” The unicorn stallion was dressed in the multi-pouched barding that’s common among merchants and wasteland traders, and even wore one of those caps with goggles that were popular for a time among traders. Between the expensive looking style of his dark brown mane, his tight posture, and the fact that he wasn’t using his goggles against the desert glare, he came across as some pony trying a little too hard to look like a trader.

He was at least wasteland savvy to know about gun safety, the way the mare was holding that gun was more a danger to everypony but her target. Waste Land Survival Lesson…

I suddenly noticed that the mare was facing east, and off in the blurry distance I could roughly make out a natural stone wall that looked just like the one I was walking beside. If she already fired that gun in that direction, it would mean…

She killed me… and I’m a ghost…

The stupid mare managed to hit by accident the only other pony in the entire desert! It’s a one in a million shot, but it’s the only thing that makes sense.

I’m dead?

After all that I learned about survival, after all the close calls and daring escapes, I get taken out by accident by somepony fresh out of a stable?! She isn’t even aware that she killed me!

If the goddesses really are controlling everything, and given recent events I’ll need to reevaluate my stance on the supernatural, then they must really love irony. Or cruel jokes.

I’M DEAD!?

I have to keep calm. Focus. Make a list of what I know so far…

I was most likely killed by some mare that shot me by accident.

I am now some kind of ghost, which explains my new non-corporeal world view. I guess stories about ghost being glowing transparent blue ponies or floating sheets were wrong.

I am now in the presences of my killer but there is no way to interact with her. I’m not really angry at her, it was an honest yet terrible mistake, but I would at least like an apology for snuffing out my life.
Perhaps this is the universe’s way of explaining what happened to me before I move on to whatever’s next, or I’ll have to haunt this spot forever…

Or maybe not.

The mare grudgingly put the gun away in a front leg pocket of her duster and her and the stallion started walking again. As they walked my circle of perception moved with them.

I was following them… I was haunting them?!

Try as I might, I couldn’t stop being dragged along with them. Was this what happened every time somepony kills somepony else, the murdered pony’s spirit follows them around? Would that mean raiders might have a whole community of ghosts silently traveling them? If this mare kills somepony else would I be able to talk to that spirit? Not that I would wish her to kill again, but the company could be nice depending on how long I’m stuck like this. Will I have to follow her until she dies? Or maybe it’s one of those things where I’ll be released after she atones for my death? That may be tricky since she doesn’t even know she killed me! Maybe there’s some kind of delay in reaching the afterlife and I just have to tag along until a spot opens up in the queue.

ARRG! There are too many questions!

I need to keep calm and maybe an explanation will present itself soon enough. I mean, there must be some reason why I’m tethered to these two, I’ll just wait and see what happens…

~~~***~~~

Argh, I’m SO bored!

These two have barely said anything for hours! They just keep walking silently, so all that there is to do is what the scenery go by. It’s like the slowest pony drawn carriage ride ever.

The scenery isn’t all that interesting either. This isn’t one of those majestic deserts with the sweeping sand dunes or grand craggy vistas like in southern Caledonia. No, this is one of those dull dry lake bed deserts where there’s nothing but flat cracked earth for as far as you can see in all directions, and I was now seeing it in all directions! Only thing to break up the monotony of the view are the occasional vertical rock outcroppings, one of which is now my final resting place… Well I guess I can now say I have equestria’s biggest tombstone. I just need somepony to go out and carve my name on it, maybe add a pithy rhyming epitaph.

Since I was bored with the view, I decided to get a better look at my new traveling companions, particularly the mare. Not in that way though! At almost a third my age she’s far too young for me. Also, the whole being dead thing would make a relationship difficult.

Near as I could tell she’s around nineteen or twenty, but her puffy white mane and tail could be making her look older than she really is. She had a homely square face, hardly ugly by wasteland standards, but far from what I would call beautiful. Her bold yellow coat is what really makes her stand out though. You rarely see ponies with colors that vibrant these days, most likely because they make easier targets. She started to stumble a little as she walked and from her unfocused eyes and her partly open mouth it looks like she may be getting heat stroke. That’s not surprising since she is wearing two layers of clothes in the desert. In the middle of the day no less.

The stallion on the other hoof didn’t seem to notice that the mare was close to passing out. He was too lost in thought to notice much of anything, mumbling a word or two every now and then. He should at least be stallion enough to give her his hat in this kind of heat!

He’s got an average build for a unicorn but looked much healthier and better groomed than your average wasteland resident. Considering that his hair isn’t even mussed, I’d bet that he was just a few days out from some cushy city life. The only city anywhere near here though is Camelton, and he doesn’t look like the type of merchant that would deal with the Yune-Yun Clan. Not desperate or crazy enough.

Hmm, he’s a little closer to my age than his companion, early thirties I would guess, but still a couple decades off. Maybe after the wasteland toughens him up a bit he could pass for handsome, but for now he just looked like some rich pony playing dress-up.

With not much to go on, I’d say that these two just happened to meet and decided to travel together. The age difference is too large for them to be siblings and too small for father and daughter. Also the fact that he’s a unicorn and she isn’t, but the mother could have been a unicorn, and genetic throwbacks do happen occasionally. His clear indifference to her suffering also rules out that they are a couple, unless they have been married way too long. She could be his slave or servant given his well off air, but the short argument over the gun didn’t give the impression of servitude.

Since neither has mentioned their names, I need to come up with something to call them. For now call the stallion City-Colt and the mare…

“Hey, Second Hoof.” the mare finally spoke up.

Ok, I guess that works too for his name... Although, a trader that just happened to be named Second Hoof? If that is his real name, then either his parent had good foresight into his profession or they hoped that he would go into clock repair.

“What is it?” Hoof replied, coming out of his musing.

I guess it would have been too convenient for him to mention her name too and save me the trouble?

“My head really hurts…” she said rubbing her forehead with her front left hoof. As the cuff of her duster fell back I could see that she indeed had a Pip-Buck on her left leg, confirming that she was from a stable. Being born in a stable also, I felt a slight kinship towards her, but then my parents left the stable shortly after I was born so I don’t actually know what stable life was like. I just hope her stable was in better shape than 123.

“You’re still dehydrated, drink some more water.” The stallion said as he magically lifted a small bottle of water out of his saddle bag and floated it over to her, unscrewing the cap along the way.

The mare looked at the bottle floating in a blue-gray glow with confusion for a moment, then gave an odd smile and said “thank you” before taking it in her mouth and gulping it down.

Second Hoof took a long look at the mare then sighed. “You don’t look too good.”

“I get that a lot…” she replied with a sad smirk after finishing the water. Then the look suddenly changed back to confusion. “I think… at least I get the feeling I did.”

“No, I mean you’re not looking well. We need to get you out of this heat.” The stallion said rolling his eyes.

Well better late than never. I guess Second is a decent enough stallion to care when a filly is about to pass out from exhaustion. Just a little slow on picking it up.

He was right about the heat. Even with the cloud cover, which was thinner here than most of Equestria, the hot afternoon sun was beating down on them. It’s weird, even without skin I’m still aware of just how hot it is, yet it’s not like I’m feeling it directly. I’m aware of the temperature, but there’s no discomfort or burning associated with it. I guess it’s just another of those weird ghost senses I’m discovering, like how I can hear without ears.

No, I’m not going to freak out about having no ears… much.

After another half hour of walking the two of them managed to find a small cave. Personally, I would have first checked for rad-scorpions or giant yao guai, but these two casually walked in like they owned the place. It’s like they’re just asking for the wasteland to kill them!

The mare flopped down on to the cool cave floor and rolled around on it a little, still not taking off her duster. “Ahh, that’s much better” she sighed. “Can I have another water?”

“Ok, but after this we need to ration them.” Second said, his horn glowing blue-gray as he floating the small bottle over to the yellow mare.

“Come to me water fairy!” The mare said dreamily as she plucked the bottle out of the air with her hooves.
Hoof rolled his eyes at the mare’s silliness “So, get back any of your memories yet?”

Ah, conversation! Now I may find out who these ponies are, what they are doing out in this desert, and maybe even why I’m stuck to them!

“Nope.” The mare sighed.

Or not…

“Still the same as before.” She continued. “first thing I can remember is finding myself in that cave with this message…” she waved her hoof with the Pip-Buck “Nearly killed by rats getting out of the cave, then nearly killed by the desert once out, and then you found me.”

A pony with amnesia? That’s kind of… cliché.

“Can I see the message that you left for yourself?” Second Hoof asked reaching a hoof out to her.

The mare pulled her Pip-Bucked leg close to her. “No. Sorry, it’s sort of personal.”

The stallion put his hoof back down. “Fair enough.” He said with a shrug. “You should try to get some sleep, we’ll head out again once it starts getting dark.”

The mare yawned, stretched out all four legs, and arched her back while she lay on her side. She then curled her legs up into her duster and rested her head on the cool stone cave floor. I once met a pony who had one of the last pet cats in Equestria, and it slept just like that. “Hey Second, why did you save me?” she asked with her eyes closed.

“Because everypony in this world needs saving.” He replied back with a smile.

“That’s nice of you.” The mare replied, her voice already thick with sleep. “Good night Second Hoof.”

“Good night Rock Flower.” He said with a smirk, and then noticed that she was already asleep.
Rock Flower! I finally have her name! I can’t say that’s what I’d have picked for her, but if that’s her name, that’s her name. I once knew a stallion with the unfortunate name of…

“Everypony in this world needs saving…” Second mumbled to himself, breaking off my name discovery revelry. “And you, my little stable pony, will be the one to save them all.”

Ok… That’s kinda weird…

~~~***~~~

I do appreciate Flower’s (her first name is unbecoming of a mare) ability to fall asleep right away. It goes with one of my lesser survival lessons: Sleep when you can wherever you can, since you don’t know when you’ll get another chance. Yet this could be a onetime thing due to her dehydration and sunstroke. Or she could be just lazy. I don’t know her that well yet.

What I cannot appreciate is Second Hoof breaking another one of my lesser survival lessons: Never fall asleep while on guard duty! No more than an hour after standing guard at the cave entrance was he fast asleep and snoring on his feet. They’re just asking to be eaten by a giant mutant desert monkey-pony. Yes, they do exist, I’ve seen one!

The hours of just waiting as they slept were the worst. As it turns out, ghosts don’t sleep. So I was stuck there with just an endless amount of unknowns to ponder. So, of course, I made a list in my mind.

Was this normal, or for some reason was I cursed to follow these two?

What happens if they split up? Will I follow them both or just Flower since she killed me?

What happens to me if they die? Will I be free or haunt their dead bodies?

Is there any way for me to make contact with the living? Maybe all those stories about adventures hearing voices in their heads are actually spirits of the ponies they killed.

Am I immortal like a ghoul now? Or can ghosts age and die (again)?

What happened to number 5?! Oh, I just miscounted, too nervous.

Could ghosts go feral like ghouls and become zombie goasts?

That last one really unnerved me. What if after years of following these two I lost my mind? Considering how boring they have been so far it’s rather possible. Or what if without a brain to hold it in, my mind just drifts away on the desert wind?

That was kind of poetic and terrifying…

Maybe it was already happening. How could I tell if part of my mind was already gone? I should have made a list of my mind so I could keep track! What if I already did but that part is already gone?!

Ahh! I was going to drive myself crazy trying to figure out if I was going crazy!

There must be some way to tell if I was losing my equinity, or even myself.

Well, the events in my life make me who I am, so as long as I have my past I still have myself. That makes sense right? Yet it sounds like Flower lost her past but she’s still herself, so maybe you don’t even need a past to be yourself. Then again, she’s not a ghost facing an existential crisis of determining if her mind is drifting off into the ether.

So, what’s something I’m sure I remember…? Oh I know!

…oooOOOooo...

“18 boxes of detergent.”

“18 boxes of detergent… Check.”

“3 leaf blowers.”

“3 leaf blowers… Check.”

“A henwey.”

“About 2 kilos… Check.”

“1 smart ass colt that ruins my jokes.”

Glancing up from my clip board, I saw Mr. Fulvous Ingot looking straight at me with an annoyed expression on his face. I guess he figured I hadn’t heard that one before.

“Check?” he asked expectantly.

“1 smart ass colt that ruins your jokes… Check.” I replied with a sigh.

Doing inventory with Mr. Ingot was the most tedious and mind numbing work in all of Dise, so I can’t blame him for trying to sneak in a joke now and then, I just wish he had better material. The job is even more pointless since Mr. Ingot kept meticulous records of every sale, so inventory ALWAYS matches up to exactly what was listed in his books. Yet I’m in no position to complain, I asked for this job in particular out of all the others available in Dise. Considering all the work involved in restarting a whole city, that was a lot of other jobs to choose from.

My parents think that I took this job because I was too ashamed to work in their nightclub/restaurant “The Winking Mare”, but that wasn’t it at all. Mr. Ingot thinks that I took this job so I can spy for my parents and undercut his prices, which is also not true. What I tell everyone is that I really want to be a merchant when I’m older and so I’m starting to work toward that goal, which is not true either. I have no interest in spending my life in a shop selling the same things to the same ponies every day. I want to someday go out and see the world beyond Dise, even if it is a wasteland, and I doubt that being a merchant is the way to do that.

No, the real reason that I volunteered for this tedious and boring job…

“Hey dad! Do you have a steam gauge assembly?”

Just walked in!

Peachy Keen, the prettiest filly in all of Dise. Vibrant magenta coat, wavy orange mane, brilliant violet eyes, and her cazadorable cutie mark even made the horrifying insect look cute. Sure, she was a few years older than me, but then I was often told that I was very smart for my age. Well, “too smart” is how most ponies put it, but close enough!
Wait! She asked an inventory related question, this was my chance!

Flipping through the pages in the clipboard I searched for the listing of steam gauge assemblies.

Found it!

“Just one in stock.” Mr. Ingot said a moment before I could. See what I mean by this is a pointless job? He’s got the whole inventory memorized!

“Can I have it?” Peachy said with a smile, batting her beautiful eyelashes. If it was up to me I would have given her the whole store for that look.

“Sure…” Mr. Ingot started.

Peachy let out an adorable squee of delight. “Total sweetness! Thanks da…”

“For right amount of bits, chips, or equal value in trade.” He finished and her smile fell.

“Aww dad, you know I’m saving my bits!” The magenta filly pouted. “Please can I just have it? It’s my birthday next week after all!”

“You already got your birthday present in advance three months ago. Did you think that I forgot that?” From the frustrated grimace that briefly flashed across Peachy’s face, that may have actually been her plan.

Peachy tried pouting again “Mom would have given it to me…”. Oh, that was a low blow. Ms. Keen died two years ago helping to defend Dise from raiders, the memory must be still painful for…

“HA! Your memory must be getting tainted from nostalgia.” Mr. Ingot laughed and then continued with a big grin. “The Commander was the cheapest hardass I’ve ever met.”

Peachy puffed her cheeks out in frustration. She’s so cute! She then turned around and started walking out of the store room, her silky orange tail swishing back and forth…

Wait! She’s leaving and I haven’t even said anything to her yet!

“Uhh… Have a nice day Peachy!” Ugh. Real original.

She turned her head back and looked at me like she didn’t even know I was there before. “Oh, the new stock-colt.” She said indifferently and walked out.

She doesn’t even know my name…

Hold on a second, she said that her birthday is next week! If I could somehow get her that steam gauge assembly for her birthday, she’ll be sure to notice me! Only problem is that I’m not getting paid before then and I have nothing of value to my name. The odds of Mr. Ingot just giving me the steam gauge assembly in advance of my pay were about the same as me bumping into…

“15 hula mares.”

Yeah, exactly... Oh! I quickly picked up the pencil from the rope around my neck and found the listing of the plastic figures. “15 hula mares… check.”

This job is still so pointless! I’m willing to bet that…

Ah! I just had a wonderful Idea!

“Hey Mr. Ingot, why do you need to take inventory so often?” I tried my best to make it sound like an innocent question and not pointing out the futility of it.

“In case any of it ever goes missing. I need to be careful for thieves…” He then shot me a sidelong glance “…or spies.”

I pressed on as if I hadn’t noticed. “Are we also checking to see if there’s any stock that’s more than you should have?”

“A surplus?” He replied with a laugh. “Not possible, I know every item that goes in and out of here, and I never forget an item.”

Ok, here goes… “I bet I could find a surplus.” I tried to make it sound like an innocent boast and not a slant at his skills.

“Oh really?” The brown stallion raised a bushy black eyebrow. “And what are you willing to bet on that?”

“If I find one item of surplus I get to keep it. If I don’t, then you don’t have to pay me for the weekend.” Come on, take the bait…

“Ha! Deal kid. Come in bright and early tomorrow.” I could see him already ringing up the bits he’ll save in the back of his head.

YES! The odds of actually finding a surplus item were slim, and I was taking a gamble here, but heck, this was Dise!

~~~

All right! It took all weekend of mind numbing counting and checking but I finally found an item of inventory not on the list.

At some point Mr. Ingot mixed up that he had twenty-eight balls (of the blue and yellow toy variety) with having twenty eight-balls (of the pool variety), while he actually had twenty-one eight-balls. True to his word, and much to his chagrin, he let me keep the surplus eight-ball with the promise that his gaff never got out.

It wasn’t exactly the prize I was hoping for, but it was a start.

I then moved on to the next stage of my idea, surreptitiously going to everypony I could in Dise and finding out what they might need and might have to offer. With that information I set about making a list of the most promising chain of events and then set out to put it in action.

My first, and most obvious, stop was the local pool hall. As I walked in I overheard the owner of the hall talking with another mare. I stopped just short of the door to listen.

“So, the little blank flank came asking you questions too?”

“Yeah, from what I heard he’s been poking around all of Dise. It’s kind of weird, wonder what he’s up to.”

I had the sinking suspicion that they were talking about me. I guess my inquiries were not as surreptitious as I hoped.

“Well what do you expect…” The owner said with a snicker. “Half his family is… off.” I rolled my eyes. Yup, they were talking about me.

The other mare let out a laugh. “Yeah, and he’s definitely… a little off!”

“And proud of it!” I said with a big grin as I confidently trotted over to the bar where owner and the other mare were having drinks. “Could I interest you in possibly purchasing… this?” I took out the eight-ball from my saddle bag with a flourish and presented it to the owner, balanced on my hoof like it was a rare treasure.

The owner looked at it then she gave a little smirk. “Kind of young to be coming in here and offering me your balls, try back in a few years.” This odd reply brought about a fit of giggles from her friend, who gave the unicorn playful slap and muttered that she was terrible.

I didn’t have a few years to wait though, so I tried switching from showmanship to simple pleading. “Come on, could I at least trade it for one of those broken pool cues you keep behind this bar?”

The mare raised an eyebrow for a moment, I don’t think that she knew I took such a thorough stock of her resources, but then it was replaced with a wide grin. “So, you’re offering your balls in exchange for nice long shaft? Didn’t know your stable door swung that way.” This brought about such a burst of laughter from her friend that she nearly spilt her drink.

“I only have the one ball.” I admitted sheepishly, which triggered even more laughter from the mares.

After finally composing herself, the owner wiped a tear from her eye with the back of her hoof. “Oh, since you’re such a good laugh, you got a deal.” She then levitated out from behind the counter a pool cue with the tip broken off to a jagged point and took the eight-ball out of my hoof.

“Thanks!” I said stuffing the broken cue as much into my saddle bag as I could before galloping out.

Just as I was leaving I heard the owner say “And… he’s off!” before her and the other mare burst out laughing again. I guess some ponies are easily amused.

Once I got outside of the pool hall I took out my list and set it on the ground, holding it in place with a hoof. I then took out a red marker that I brought with me and checked off the box beside the picture of a broken cue. Second stage done, here’s hoping that the rest goes just as well.

My next stop was the ruined back alleys on the east side of Dise. The streets were home to basically anypony that wanted to be safe in the city but didn’t actually contribute to any of the work to rebuild it. After asking a friendly hobo for directions I found my next target, Foalson.

If Peachy Keen was the prettiest filly in Dise, Foalson was the coolest colt. He was only a couple years older than me but he already had his own gang, of which he was the only member. His parents were raiders that were killed in the same attack that took Peachy’s mom (nopony should bring their foals with them into a war). There wasn’t anypony that wanted to look after a raider’s colt, but nopony had the heart to kick him out of the city either, so he just grew up on the back streets.

I found the young unicorn practicing his telekinesis with a length of chain that he always had with him. I don’t think he’d ever actually fought anypony with it, considering his current awkward attempts to swing it around like a lasso or crack it like a whip were more likely to hit him than a potential opponent.

“Looking good there Foalson!” I tried really hard to sound impressed.

“What do you want twerp?” He said as he continued to spin the chain in the air. He then nonchalantly brushed a hoof through his spikey green mane, which was dyed with wide red stripes (or maybe it was red, dyed with thin green stripes). He was trying to pass off like his practice was nothing, though I suspect he was actually wiping the sweat of the exertion from his forehead.

“As cool as your chain is, I’ve got something even cooler for you…” I reached into my saddle bag and pulled the broken cue out with my mouth.

“A broken pool stick?” Foalson observed flatly.

I tossed the stick from my mouth into the air near him and he caught it with his magic, dropping the chain. I pretended not to notice that he couldn’t levitate two things at once.

“Don’t think of it as a pool stick, think of it as a versatile improvised weapon!” I started into my spiel. “You could swing it like a club, brandish it like a rapier, block like a staff, and even hurl it like a spear! Also, it gives you greater reach and range than most any weapon your opponent might have.”

Foalson condensed his magical grip on to a section near the base of the stick and gave it a few experimental swings and thrusts. It was clear even to him that he had much better control over it than he did with his chain. “Hmm, not bad. Maybe I could even fix a bit of scrap metal at the tip and give it a real nasty point. My old sire always did prefer a spear. Though, it didn’t do the fool much good against a gatling battle saddle.” After a few more swings he looked at me. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch, straight up trade, the stick for your chain.”

Foalson though for a moment, casually scratching his flank with the round end of the cue. I almost expected it to make pinking sounds as it passed over the bars of his prison window cutie mark.

“Throw in a couple passes for your mom’s show and you got a deal.” He said with a grin. He might not have had a Stable style education like I did, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew that if somepony comes to you with a deal in Dise, you’re the one with the upper hoof since they want something from you.

“Hmm. That may be tricky to get, but I’ll give it my best shot.” Truth be told, getting him passes would be easy, my parents always have several to give away as promotions. It won’t do him any good though, since he wouldn’t pass the magical age check at the door.

“Good enough.” And with that he tossed the chain at me (dropping the cue at the same time). I quickly side stepped and opened my saddle bag, allowing the chain to drop into it with a swish.

After leaving the alley I took out my list again and put a red check next to the picture of the chain. Looking down the rest of the list I smiled to myself. Just a half dozen more trades like this and I’ll have something worth enough to trade Mr. Ingot for the steam gauge assembly. Then I could give it to Peachy for her birthday!

I could already picture her making that cute little squee sound and then going “Total sweetness!”

With a happy sigh I headed off to the water plant.

~~~

“What do you mean you won’t trade me the micro-cell?!” I blurted out as my plan hit a major roadblock.

“I’m sorry, it’s a fine length of chain, and I certainly can use it…” The service technician said as he mopped his face with a rag in the steamy hall. “But one of the control panels blew last night and I need that micro-cell for the repairs. I could offer you something else in trade though, I’ve got a spare small size flywheel, or three meters of bidirectional wire, there’s also…”

As he listed off miscellaneous parts I slumped down onto the cold metal grating. None of the things he was listing off were any use to me. I would have to go back and rework my entire list and find new ponies to trade up whatever he gave me towards the… My ears suddenly shot up, catching something I almost missed.

“What was the last thing that you just said?” I asked standing straight up.

“What? I said a steam gauge assembly. I have a spare in the old back utility closet, it’s kind of beat up but I think that…”

“I’ll take it!” I shouted eagerly.

Within a few minutes I was happily running out of the water plant with my prize in tow. I only stopped briefly to put big red check mark in the box at the bottom of my list, right next to the picture of the steam gauge assembly, before I was running off again. It may not have been exactly to plan, but my idea worked!

I was running so fast that I almost missed that I ran past Peachy Keen walking in the other direction. Without even stopping to turn around I quickly ran backwards to catch up with the pretty earth pony.

“Hi… *huff* Peachy… *puff* Keen!” I gasped trying to catch my breath.

Peachy looked down at me confused for a moment, then a look of realization hit her. “Oh, you’re the new stock-colt.” Well at least she knows my face if not my name.

Finally catching my breath I smiled at her. “I have a birthday present for you.”

“Oh?” she replied curiously.

I took the steam gauge assembly out of my bag and set it down by her hooves. Her pretty violet eyes went wide and she made that happy squee sound like I knew she would.

“Total sweetness!” she exclaimed just like I knew she would.

Then she did something that I had no idea she would. She leaned forwards and gave me a little kiss on the forehead. I was lucky there was no wind at all at that moment; since I think the smallest gust could have knocked me right over.

“This is just perfect! My colt-friend is going to love it!”

Colt-friend?

The warm feeling I had all over me disappeared as if I was thrown into a pool of ice water.

“Colt-friend?” I managed to stammer out.

“Uh-huh, he’s the super coolest colt ever! But don’t tell my dad, he would totally freak.”

“Who… who is it?” I asked, half knowing the answer already.

“You probably don’t know him, he’s a light gray unicorn that lives on the east side, carries a big chain…”

“Pool cue.” Corrected, still in shock.

“What?” Peachy said puzzled.

“Foalson traded in his chain for a pool cue.” I mumbled, trying to process what just happened. “More versatile.” I added, recalling my own sales pitch less than an hour ago. No way was he getting those passes now.

“Oh, you do know him?” The filly said with a surprised smile. “Well, he wanted this for a project he’s working on. He says it’s going to be awesome! I should get this to him right away.”

She galloped off with the steam gauge assembly, but after a moment stopped and called back to me. “Oh, and congratulations on getting your cutie mark, it really suits you!”

As she raced off to the east side, what she said slowly sunk in. Cutie mark? I don’t have my…

Looking over my shoulder at my flank I saw that now emblazoned on it was a large square box with a big red check mark in it, just like the one at the bottom of my list.

Well how about that.

To celebrate the event I made a list in my head of what I achieved today:

Got a week’s worth of dull work finished in a weekend.

Made Mr. Ingot eat crow over the infallibility of his inventory.

Helped out three ponies through good trades (even if one is now my nemesis).

Got Peachy her birthday present (even if she wasn’t really the one who wanted it).

Peachy kissed me.

PEACHY KISSED ME!!

Got my cutie mark.

Learned the hard way to first find out if the filly you like already has a colt-friend.

A little bad mixed in with the good there, but all in all I’d say that this day turned out pretty darn good. Or, as Peachy would say…

Total sweetness!!

…oooOOOooo...

Ah, that sure was a good day. I wouldn’t have a day that good again for quite some time. Eventually the eighth point on the list I made back then would evolve into number seventeen on my survival list, so even as a colt I was already learning to survive.

But then I’m dead now, so take that list for what it’s worth I guess.

Oh, it’s gotten colder… and dark! I must have lost track of time while reminiscing. Maybe reliving the past is as close to dreaming that ghosts get. At least I’m not as worried now that my mind isn’t going away any time soon. There’s still so much of my situation that I need to figure out though.

Eh, Second is still snoring while on guard duty. I would make a pun about “my Hoof being asleep”, but I wouldn’t want to claim him as mine (I’m only haunting him) and there’s nopony around to laugh at it anyway.

Well get some sleep while you can, I’ll take this shift. But if you sleep till dawn, I’m going to try my hardest to possess you until you wake up!

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).

Author note:
Thanks for reading the first part of a third of this insane project! This is a ridiculously ambitious undertaking (3 stories, 3 acts, 3 mediums), which I hardly have the skill to pull off, but I hope at least some of you will enjoy it.

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 2 : It's magic

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 2 : It’s magic

Waste Land Survival Lesson 17:
“Get all the information you can before taking action.”

“Time to wake up Rock.”

“Zzzz…”

Hoof sighed and walked closer to the sleeping mare.

“Come on and get up. I let you sleep in, but we need to get moving.” The stallion called louder.

Liar. You were sleeping too up until a half hour ago. I had to keep watch, and fat lot of good I would be if some desert nasty came by.

“Up and at ‘em stable filly!” Hoof yelled by her ear as he shook her shoulder with his hoof.

Flower’s eyes instantly shot open at the touch, and she let out a panicked scream as she scrambled backwards away from the hoof.

“Don’t touch me!” she yelled, clutching her duster close around her as she huddled against the far cave wall, eyes now tightly closed.

Oh no…

There are several reasons why a mare would react to being touched like that… and all of them are very bad…

The same thought must have occurred to Hoof, since he took a step back and spoke in a softer tone.

“You’re safe. Nopony is going to hurt you. “

Flower then opened her eyes again and her whole body relaxed. Looking around the cave she blinked a couple time in confusion before focusing on the unicorn stallion.

“Oh, hi Second!” she said with a smile, as if nothing happened, then she let out a shiver. “It’s cold!”

“Uh, yeah… it’s a bit past midnight, all of the heat has left the desert.” Hoof replied hesitantly, clearly unsure what to make of this sudden mood swing. “It’s warmer by the fire.” He added, gesturing to the small portable camping stove that he had set up before trying to wake her. The stove’s magically powered flames were the only source of light, and heat, in the cave.

“Ooh, pretty!” Flower cooed as she cantered over to the flickering pink fire. She sat herself down a short distance away and extended her fore hooves to warm them up.

“So, are you feeling better?” Hoof asked as he walked around to the opposite side of the stove.

“Lots!” Flower beamed with a nod of her head. “Not so wobie and head hurty anymore.”

“Good to hear. After we have something to eat we’ll be heading out.” The dark olive unicorn rummaged through his saddle bags and then floated out a tin on canned apples. Pulling the pull-tab top off with his magic, he floated it over to the mare before searching again in the bags. “At first I wondered about that duster of yours, but it’s going to keep you warmer than I’ll be until the sun comes up again.”

Hoof then looked back up to the mare, probably to see why she hadn’t taken the can from him. The reason was that she was currently staring with a wide-eyed terrified look on her face. Even her coat was a paler shade of yellow.

“What’s wrong Rock?” Hoof asked nervously.

Barely moving, Flower whispered out of the side of her mouth. “A g… gh… gh… ghost…”

What?!

Could she see me? I couldn’t even see myself. Or did she show how feel my presence?

“What? Where?” Hoof looked around the cave confused.

I’m right here! Well, all around you, sort of, I guess.

The mare slowly raised a shaking hoof up, and pointed right in front of her.

Hoof followed with his eyes to where Flower was pointing to. “That’s a can of apples.” He said flatly.

“But…but it’s glowing! And… and floating on its own!” She gasped, not taking her eyes off the terrifying tin.

“What? It’s not floating on its own, I’m doing that.” The unicorn said rolling his eyes.

Flower tore her eyes away from the tin and looked incredulously at the stallion. “How can you move things without touching them?”

“With magic of course. What do you think this is for?” Second said, tapping his glowing horn with his hoof.

“Oh, I thought that was… I mean that you were also a… umm, never mind.” Flower muttered awkwardly.

Hoof thought for a moment, then his eyes widened in realization. “You’ve never seen a unicorn before?”

“A what?”

“A kind of pony that has a horn and can do magic.”

“Not that I can remember, but then I can’t remember much of anything. Yet, it doesn’t look normal.” Flower then quickly covered her mouth. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say you’re not normal or a freak or anything! It’s just that when I think of a pony I don’t think of them having one of …” she waved a hoof in the direction of his horn. “…those.”

Second let out a chuckle at the mare’s embarrassment. “Interesting. Perhaps your stable was filled with only earth ponies…” After a moment of being lost in thought, he quickly looked back to Flower. “Wait a moment! You’ve seen me use magic several times before to give you water and you never said anything about it.”

Flower had a sudden look of realization. “That was you?”

“Who else did you think it was?” The stallion asked incredulously.

The yellow mare turned bright red with embarrassment (well, more an orange) and mumbled something while looking away.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Hoof tilted an ear towards her.

Flower mumbled something again, slightly louder.

“Didn’t quite catch that…”

“I thought it was water fairies.” She finally said loud enough to hear. “You know, little magical sprites that help travelers in need?”

Second put a hoof to his mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. I would have too if I still had either.

“Give me a break!” Flower said, stamping her hoof and pouting. “I was severely dehydrated and had already nearly died twice. You can’t blame me if my reasoning was a little off.”

“But you just thought that tin of apples was haunted.” Hoof quipped.

Flower blushed embarrassed. “Yeah, well , thinking it was a ghost is just as reasonable as saying it was ‘magic’.” She said the last word making hoof-quotes in the air.

The unicorn station face hoofed. “But magic IS real!”

“And so are ghosts. You just haven’t met any yet.” Flower was clearly trying to win this silly argument to save some face. Although, given my current situation I would have to side with her. “Just like I didn’t know magic is real until I met a unihorn.”

“Unicorn.” Hoof corrected.

“Whatever.”

“Hold on a second.” Hoof said, raising a… hoof. His name is going to be awkward… “How is it that you know about ghosts and sprites, but can’t even remember your own stable number?”

“I don’t know.” She said with a shrug. “It’s like I can remember things but not stuff. I know how to read and write, but not when I learned it. What is my stable number?”

“I don’t know. I never got to see the door. When I found you, you were already out of the cave that I presume lead to your stable. It should be printed on the sleeve of your stable jumpsuit. “

“Oh, so that’s what that meant!” Flower said in realization.

“What did you think it was?” Second rolled his eyes. “No, don’t tell me. It would just be something silly. Like that you were X number in a series of clones and everpony back in the stable were identical to you.

A dark, sad look crossed the yellow mare’s face. “I don’t think I would have to leave if that was the case.” She mumbled to herself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Flower said and then busied herself with trying to roll up one of the sleeves of her duster.

“Are you ever going to take that thing off?” Hoof said with a sigh.

“Not any more…” Flower said under her breath, sounding disappointed. I don’t think Hoof even heard her. “Ah there!” She said, her normally chipper tone suddenly returning. “Stable 98!” She beamed looking down at her foreleg, having finally rolled the duster sleeve high enough to see the jumpsuit number.

“86. You’re looking at it the wrong way up.” Second said, shaking his head. “Well, at least that’s one part of the mystery solved.”

Flower stared back at him blankly. “What mystery?”

“Why, who you are of course. Don’t you want to get your memory back?” The stallion said, sounding a little confused.

“I’m me.” Flower replied matter-of-factly. “I don’t really care about getting my memory back.”

“What?” Second sounded stunned. “You’re not even curious about your past?”

“If it was good, then I can’t miss what I don’t know of. It was bad, then I’m better off not remembering.”

“That’s a… rather philosophical way of looking at things.”

Yeah, and also wrong. It’s never a good thing to lose one’s memories, no matter how bad… Wait. She said ‘it was bad’ not ‘if it was bad’. Did she just misspeak, or did this relate to her reaction to being touched…

An awkward silence filled the cave, only broken by the quiet roar of the magical pink fire.

“Well,” Second spoke up suddenly. “You should eat your ‘haunted’ apples, we’ll be moving out soon.”

Flower stuck her tongue out at the stallion over the little jab, but then smiled and sat down to eat.

This was an interesting couple of ponies…

~~~***~~~

I take it back.

These are still two incredibly boring ponies!

It’s like they are incapable of walking and having a conversation at the same time. Maybe they were too busy thinking about the rather odd events from breakfast. Must be unsettling to suddenly find out that magic is real, or that your carefree traveling companion has a traumatic past that she doesn’t want to remember again.

Or, more likely, they are just lousy conversationalists.

It wasn’t until late morning that Hoof finally said something.

“It’s getting close to noon, are you picking up any landmarks on your E.F.S? We’ll need to find a place to rest.”

Flower just looked back at him confused. “My what?”

“Your Eyes Forwards Sparkle. The navigation system of your Pip-Buck?” Hoof then rolled his eyes at her blank stare. “You can’t remember the features of your Pip-Buck do you?”

“Umm, I know it has an alarm, and can keep notes…”

Second sighed and shook his head. “It does a whole lot more than that from what I’ve read. Let me take a look.”

A blue-gray magic field surrounded Flower’s left foreleg and held it up for the unicorn to examine. He seemed to be taking care not to actually touch her, and keeping as much distance as he could while still being able to read the screen.

“Ooh, that is so freaky!” Flower cooed while looking at her limb moving on its own.

“It’s just telekinesis. Now pay attention.” Hoof then began clicking and scrolling through the various options. “The DATA button brings up maps, your to do list, notes, and the radio.”

“So we can listen to music with this?” The yellow mare’s face brightened.

“If you can find a signal, but other than getting close enough to one of the occasional short-range broadcaster, there’s nothing to pick up. Well… except the sprite bot channel. “ Second added with a shiver of revulsion. “But that loop gets very old very fast. Just make sure I’m not around if you decide to listen to it.”

“Oh.” Flower’s smile fell. “What about adding more notes to it?”

“You could only upload notes that were typed up on a terminal, this model doesn't seem to have any way of imputing sound or text directly.”

“I guess I’ll stick to my notepad then...” Flower mumbled under her breath.

Hoof didn’t even seem to notice she said anything, his attention had already returned to the hoof mounted computer. “The ITEMS button is self-explanatory, it manages all the stuff in your bags and pockets, and gives you information on them like condition, name, and value.”

Flower began to open her mouth with a confused look.

“Don’t ask me how it does all that.” Hoof said cutting her off. “The magic involved is so complex that I doubt there is a pony alive who really understands it.”

The remaining button was then pushed with the unicorn’s magic. “The STATS button lists the status of both you and the Pip-Buck. Oh good, it’s already at the settings menu. I’ll just back out of the alarm settings and…” The glow intensified around the various dials and switches on the device as the menus rapidly changed. “There! Your E.F.S. should be on now.”

“What exactly is it… Oh neat!” Flower exclaimed. “There’s a bunch of numbers and stuff floating in front of me.” The mare reached out into the air in front of her with her Pip-Bucked hoof.

“There should be some kind of compass in your view. Try turning your head and see if any marks show up”

Flower turned her head experimentally. “Wow… They move with me, and there’s a little thing that spins as I turn! A little triangle pops up on it when I face that way...” She pointed back the way they came, then turned back around to face just off from the direction they were going in. “And a hollow triangle that way.”

“The first one is the cave we spent the night in. The other must be a new location. Let’s hope it’s some kind of shelter.”

“There’s just one problem.” Flower said hesitantly.

“Uh oh. What is it?”

“I really don’t like orange. Can you make these things blue?” Flower asked in full seriousness.

Second face hoofed. “Yeah, I think so…” grabbing her hoof with his magic again, more switches were pressed. “…how’s that?”

“Ah perfect! This is a really pretty blue!”

“Well, while I’m at it, I’ll check your S.A.T.S. settings…” More magical glowing and the screen flipped through more text and numbers. He was pretty good figuring that thing out. I’m normally all hooves when it comes to anything technical. Suddenly he stopped and looked at the screen in confusion.

“S.A.T.S. functionality disabled. Please contact your Stable Security Manager for authorization?!” Hoof read off the screen with a frustrated voice. “One of the most useful features of the Pip-Buck and it’s disabled?”

“What should it do?” Flower asked.

“It’s an advanced spell that lets you target exactly where you want to hit an opponent with any weapon, even giving the odds of success.”

“Why would ponies living in a Stable need that?”

“Because…” Hoof thought for a moment. “I guess you’re right. It does make sense that it’s disabled for everypony except security.” He finished with a shrug. “Well then, the last feature of use would be your status menu. It has information like your name, current health, a little pictogram of your current condition, radiation…”

Flower suddenly put her other hoof over the Pip-Buck screen and tried to pull it away the unicorn’s magic before the menu could even change. Hoof was so stunned that his magic hold evaporated.

“That kind of information is private!” Flower said defensively, holding the Pip-Buck to her chest. “You shouldn’t look without permission.”

“Ok…” The stallion said slowly, and then shook his head with a sigh. “Well, let’s get moving to that location on the E.F.S., it was this way right?”

The mare looked in the direction that Hoof was pointing to and her smile suddenly returned. “Yup! Follow me!” She then trotted off in that direction.

~~~***~~~

The location turned out to be an old prewar shelter. It was built underground, somewhat like a personal Stable, with the entrance being a small pony-hole cover that was partly covered in dirt. The only indication from the outside that it was even there was the bleached pony skeleton several meters away from the entrance.

“Ahhh, it’s so much cooler down here!” Flower exclaimed while standing in the shelter’s well lit antechamber and shook the sweat out of her puffy mane.

“The power reactor still seems to be functioning, and good thing we didn’t have to move that ourselves.” Hoof said indicating the massive steel door which lead into the rest of the shelter. “Now we just have to make sure nothing aggressive is living here.”

“How do we do that?” Flower said as she pressed her side against the cool steel of the door and sighed contentedly.

“They should show up as red marks on your E.F.S., around the compass I think.”

“Oh, so that’s what that meant!” The yellow mare smiled.

Hoof stopped in his tracks. “What?”

“There’s a red box on the spinny thing, in uhh…” she turned slowly then pointed hoof towards a stack of boxes at the far end of the room. “That direction!”

Hoof floated out of his saddle bags a sawed off shotgun and quietly approached the other side of the boxes. As he drew closer a large gray shape lunged past him. Spinning around he looked at the creature.

“Oh, it’s just a…”

“RAAAAAT!!” Flower screamed with rage then flung herself at the large mutated rodent, covering the length of the antechamber in one leap. The rat’s eyes when wide in fright and just managed to run out of the way before all four of the mare’s hooves slammed down into the metal floor where it was standing.

The rodent shrieked in terror as it dove past the massive door and down the shelter’s main hall. Leaping back up, Flower practically turned in midair before galloping after it.

“Revenge!” She screamed like a mad mare down the hall.

She was scary when she was angry… and I was following her. Second Hoof was left back in the antechamber and was out of my range of perception by the time Flower reached the end of the hall. I guess I really am tied to just my killer, that’s at least one mystery solved.

Flower had cornered the large rodent in a living area at the end of the hall. “Not so tough now that you don’t have a dozen little friends are you?”

The terrified creature tried to bite at the mare’s hooves in desperation, but Flower was too fast. She lifted her forelegs up just as the rat stuck its head forwards, then she slammed her hooves down on its skull.

The thing was dead with the first stomp, but that didn’t stop flower. “I… HATE… RATS…!” She screamed, punctuating each word by smashing her hooves into the dead creature, until its head was pulped.

Then, after catching her breath, she smiled contentedly and trotted back to the antechamber, leaving bloody hoof prints along the hall’s metal floor.

“Ah! I feel much better now.” Flower proclaimed as she met back up with Hoof.

He just stared at her forelegs and hooves covered in rat blood and sighed. “I’ll take a look around this place. You really should find a place where you could clean up.”

“All right.” she replied happily, then turned around and trotted back to the living area at the end of the hall.

Now that I wasn’t distracted by a crazed mare pulverizing an overgrown rodent, I got a better look of the room. It was a fair size, slightly bigger than what I’ve seen of then living quarters in Vault 123, and shared the same prefabricated segmented metal style of vaults. It was sparsely furnished, with only a bed off to the side, a desk with a terminal on it in the middle of the room, and several shelves lining the walls. The shelves by the door had its contents on the floor, mostly tools and thick technical manuals, I thought they were knocked off during Flower’s mad chase but then I noticed a thin layer of dust over them.

Off to the side of the room was a door, Flower walked over and opened it, revealing a full bathroom. “Ah.” she said pleased, then walked over to the bathtub. After turning both handles to full, she sat down beside the tub and plunged her bloody hooves under the warm water. Her Pip-Buck only clicked slightly from the radiation in the water. I guess it’s from an underground well since it was cleaner than most water in the wasteland.

After her hooves were clean, and the last of the bloody water went down the drain, she turned off the water and stood up. Then she paused a moment in thought before smiling and turning the water back on. Taking the rubber stopper that was beside the tub, she plugged the drain and watched for a moment as the water level slowly rose.

Casually waking back into the main room, Flower closed the door to the hall and took a moment to find the lock and secure it. She then walked over to the computer, kicking the dead rat out of the way as she went, and turned it on. Surprisingly, not only was the terminal not locked but it already had a file on screen. Flower read through the file while waiting for the bathtub to fill.

Interesting, I can sense the temperature of the water as it fills the tub, just like the air, but I can’t feel the wetness. I need to get use to sensing things like this if I’m going to be stuck haunting this mare for the rest of her life. An odd thing about seeing everything form all sides is that there is no near or far, just a level of clarity as things exceed my circle of perception. The dust on the floor is just as clear as the large shelves along the wall. The drawback to this is that it’s hard for me to focus on any one thing, I have to mentally block out things or else it could get overwhelming. For example, I was only now suddenly aware that Flower was getting undressed as she read the terminal.

If I was still alive would do the gentlestalionly thing and advert my eyes, but that’s hard to do when you see everywhere.

Clothes are a funny thing. A pony can go around without a stitch on them and nopony would give it a second thought, or they could be covered head to hoof and it would be perfectly acceptable. Yet there is this odd transition period, when a mare or stallion is putting on or taking off clothes, that just feels different. Even in this blasted wasteland where societal norms have long since been destroyed in balefire, ponies still tend to change in private, and there is still some forbidden allure of observing this act.

Of course, all this pondering of the unusual traits of pony mentality was just an attempt to distract myself form the fact that I was observing a mare young enough to be my granddaughter stripping from every possible angle.

She had already tossed her duster onto the bed and was slipping out of her snug fitting Stable jumpsuit. The zipper opened easily enough but it must be a pain for anypony but a unicorn to zip back up. Also, I hoped that focusing on the zipper would prevent me from focusing on other parts.

She finally got her back legs out of the jumpsuit and I shifted my attention from the zippers to her flank. Not in that way! I was just curious what her cutie mark was. If I was going to spend the next who knows how long with her, I would like to have a clue on her special talent.

Well that’s different.

A violet and blue spider on a white circular web.

It wasn’t the kind of cutie mark you normally see in the wasteland, they tend to be more based around survival, and it wasn’t like the innocent simple marks you see in prewar pictures. The spider was a stylized collection of circles with 8 stick legs, more just the idea of a spider than a picture of one, and the pastel colors against the yellow flank almost made it look cute. Yet a spider cutie mark on a mare? Call me old fashion but I…

My attention was suddenly pulled away from the cutie mark as I became aware of something even more distinct about her body. A particular addition that I was not expecting at all.

Oh my… Last time I saw an earth pony mare in the buff, she didn’t have… those!

Well I guess that explains always keeping covered. In the buff Rock would get odd looks, at worst somepony might…

“Aaaaahhhhhh!” A panicked scream came from down the hall.

Having no time to put the jumpsuit back on, Flower threw on the duster, unlocked the door, and ran down the hall in the direction of the scream.

We found Second in a small room just past the kitchen area. He was several shades paler with a shocked expression on his face, and for good reason. The scene in the room looked like something out of a macabre horror story.

In the center of the room was a large rectangular steel monolith, almost twice as tall as a pony. Its surface was marred with dozens of dents and gashes, and a pick axe was still embedded in its side. Embedded in the front of the object was hoof sized green gemstone. A deep red stain dripped down from the jewel to a steel table that jutted out from the metal structure. The crimson stain covered the surface of the table, surrounding the skeletal remains of the ponies that lay atop it. Sticking out of the dead pony’s chest was a large jagged knife, its handle was still held in the hoof of another long dead pony. The corpse that held the knife was slumped over the body on the table, but they weren’t the only two in the room. Around the room were the long dead remains of over a dozen ponies, most were adults but there were some foals among them. It looks like the last moments of some archaic blood sacrifice, all the participants frozen in death.

I’ve seen a lot of nasty stuff in my days, and this still made me feel uneasy. I don’t blame Second for freaking out after stumbling on this scene suddenly.

“Hmmm…” Rock intoned thoughtfully, seemingly oblivious to the carnage, then smiled in recognition. “I know what this is!”

“A murder scene?” Hoof asked as his color returned, sounding stunned at his companion’s positive reaction to the room.

“No. Well, yes, but I’m not talking about that.”

The yellow pony trotted over to the table and casually said “Pardon me Cookie.” before shoving the corpse on to the floor.

Hoof gasped. “What are you doing?!”

“Trying to get a better look at this.” Flower said tapping the gem with a hoof. “I think I could get it working with the right stuff. Hmm… or would I need things?”

Second just blinked in confusion, I think the poor stallion’s brain broke.

“Do you know of anything, or maybe stuff, that can give energy?” Flower asked while removing the pick axe from the side.

“Umm… You mean like a spark battery?” the olive pony stuttered trying to catch up.

“A battery! That sounds right! Do you have any?”

Second levitated out of his saddle bag a blue and gray rectangular spark battery.

“Hmm, it’s smaller than I expected.” Flower said taking it from him while I resisted the urge to make a joke nopony could even hear. “I’ll see if I could find some more now that I know what to look for!”

As Rock raced out of the room with me in tow, I saw Second give a frustrated sigh and face hoof before he was out of my perception range.

~~~***~~~

Flower spent all night working on the strange gem, often traveling back to the room at the end of the hall to check something on the computer, look in a technical manual, or jot something down on a small notepad.

By morning the sum of the yellow pony’s work was a network of wires, tubes, and small circuit boards running from half a dozen spark batteries to the green gemstone. I had no idea what it was supposed to do, but Rock seemed very contend with the end result.

With a wide grin Rock trotted to the living quarter in the middle of the hall that Second went to sleep in, then threw open the door without even a knock and proclaimed “Rise and shine Second, soup’s on!”

What?

“What?” Hoof’s response mirrored my own, although more sleepily.

“Come on! You get first try!”

“First try of what?” but Flower was already heading back to the creepy room of death.

A few minutes later the sleepy unicorn trudged into the room, his mane now unkempt and looking much better in my opinion. “What’s going on?” he asked with a yawn.

“Just watch!” Flower giggled and then flicked a switch on one of the circuit boards.

The green gem slowly hummed to life, letting off an eerie glow. After a second of nothing happening Hoof opened his mouth to say something, but Flower lifted a hoof for silence. Then a deep red mark appeared in one of the clear tubes connected to the gemstone. It gradually expanded along the length of the tube, filling its length with the crimson fluid before reaching the other end and flowing out into a small bowl. When the bowl was half full Rock turned the switch off and waited for the remaining fluid to drain into the bowl before passing it to Second.

“It’s only a prototype apparently, so the color is a little off, but it should be fine.” Flower smiled, then suddenly had a worried expression. “You’re not related in any way to the Goldberrys are you?”

“Who?”

“Never mind then.” The smile returned. “Well, drink up!”

Drink?! The creepy stuff from a magic stone from a room of death that looks like blood?

Hoof looked just as puzzled as I was. His puzzlement then turned to surprise when he smelled the fluid.

Great, I just realized that can’t smell or taste things. Well, I guess that’s not too bad. If my sense of taste was like my omnipresent sight I would taste every surface in a room full of corpses…

Ughhhh… I am so glad that ghosts can’t vomit!

Slowly Hoof telekinetically lifted the bowl to his lips. I can’t believe he’s going to drink that!

After a small sip his eyes went wide in surprise. Great! You’ve killed another pony Rock! I better make room on my side of the awareness circle for Hoof’s arrival.

“It’s tomato soup!” Second exclaimed before taking a longer drink. “And it’s good!”

Wat?

“If I had more spark batteries I could make it hot, but for now we’ll have to make due with a thin gazpacho.” Flower said modestly.

“A tomato soup talisman…” The unicorn said in awe looking at the gem. “What didn’t the prewar ponies think of?” He then turned back at Rock with a new look of admiration. “And you not only identified it, but got it working after 100 years!”

Flower’s cheeks blushed orange. “It wasn’t all that hard. I just put this together in whatever way that just felt right.”

Hoof then looked at the battered steel structure that held the talisman and sighed. “Too bad that we can’t take this thing with us.” He then knocked his hoof against the side to emphasize the scale of it. The knock reverberated through the steal box, followed by the sounds of straining metal which was soon replaced with a harsh screech. Then abruptly all the sounds stopped.

With a small “Plink” the tomato soup talisman popped free and landed in Flower’s outstretched hooves.

At the sudden change of events Rock let out a squee and exclaimed “Total sweetness!”

What?

If I had a pulse it would had stopped at that moment.

I’ve only known one other pony to have ever done that, and there’s no way that somepony four days out of a stable could know that expression, squee and all.

Second tilted his head inquisitively. “What was that?”

Flower looked back at him a bit confused. “I’m not sure. I must have heard that expression somewhere, but with my memory gone I don’t know where. It’s fun to say though.”

You heard it from me! I was thinking just last night about when Peachy use to say that! I can communicate, I just need to figure out how I did it!

“No, not that. I’ve heard that expression somewhere else. ” Second said and waved a hoof dismissively. “What I meant was that I thought I heard water flowing.”

The two of them looked towards the doorway and saw a low puddle of water begin to seep into the room.

Flower looked at the water a moment before suddenly charging through the slowly flooding hall.

“I forgot about my bath!”

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hubr!

Author note:
Second part down! the mysteries are starting to pop up and things will get more wild in part 3! Be sure to check out Sights and Sounds too.

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 3 : Misdirection

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 3 : Misdirection

Waste Land Survival Lesson 14:
“Don’t greet an unknown with violence.”

That’s it, I give up!

If I still had a face, it would be blue from how much talking I’ve been doing. Although ‘talking’ isn’t really the right term, since I have no mouth either, more ‘thinking at really hard’.

I’ve tried everything I could think of to communicate with Rock. I’ve tried repeating words, thinking in funny voices, rhyming, catchy expressions, sage words of wisdom, reciting lists, amusing anecdotes, even threw the odd words of Zebra that I’ve picked up. I’ve also tried all those at different times, such as when Flower is asleep, or awake, while talking, while silent, lost in thought, thoughtlessly lost (look at your map!), all alone, with Hoof, and even when… umm, indisposed.

And the end result of nearly thirty-six hours of constant directed thought?

“But Second, she would have made a great pet!”

Nothing!

I thought I made a breakthrough yesterday while Hoof was giving Flower a basic weapon safety guide. The yellow pony stood a moment wide eyed after I thought something particularly loud, but it turned out to be just a long pause before a large sneeze. At least after getting some pointers on how to handle various guns and explosives Rock isn’t as likely to accidental kill or blow up anypony else.

The sheer variety of guns that Hoof had in his saddle bags, none of which Flower particularly cared for, at least gave credence to his claim that he was a traveling merchant. Nopony would carry around such an arsenal for personal use. Most ponies just had a few trusted weapons and then load up on ammo. He still doesn’t look much the part though, four days out and he remains way too clean… He doesn’t even get ‘hat mane’ when he takes his cap off!

“First.” Hoof said raising a front hoof. “I’m pretty sure it was male, considering position we found him in. Second.” He lifted his other fore-hoof. “He would have made a terrible pet, since he was a wild animal. Third.” Looking at his two raised hooves he just shrugged. “I thought you hated rats.”

“It clearly wasn’t really a rat. That’s just some dumb name that somepony came up with due to the size or something. They could have called them Sand Puppies or something.” Flower said while switching markers and then added sulkily before returning to drawing in the notepad. “I was going to call her Mole-estia…”

Clearly none of my words of wisdom had sunk in. They were both too preoccupied with the aftermath of the weird scene they had witnessed.

About half an hour ago the two of them heard a very peculiar mix of noises while walking. The rhythmic clanging of metal, rough animal huffing and grunting, and the sound of an upbeat musical march. Following the weird noises, they found a very determined mole rat in the middle of a passionate tryst… with a sprite-bot.

The reactions of the two travelers were rather telling of their personalities. Hoof galloped to rescue the spherical robot from the unwanted affections of the mole rat, magically tossing the critter aside. Rock on the other hoof snatched up the large rodent and cooed about how cute it was while it frantically tried to squirm away. Second held the molested bot in his magical glow, at first I thought he was just keeping it from floating away for some reason, but after a few seconds in the glow the music stopped and the sprite-bot ceased trying to float away. He then announced that they were going to take a short break while he did some repairs and modifications.

Eventually the mole rat managed to escape Flower’s cuddling, having gotten a platonic taste of its own medicine, and disappeared down a hole in the earth. All the while, Hoof kept the magical glow on the floating robot while wearing a look of intense concentration.

I guess his special talent relates somehow to arcano-tech, letting him fix and adjust parts of the bot with just magic. That could fit with his story of being a merchant. The repair, modification, and resale of prewar tech can be a very lucrative position if you have the right clientele. I could never get into that market since I could barely turn on a terminal, much less fix one.

Hoof being a high end tech merchant would at least explain his Tenpony coiffure, just doesn’t explain why he’s in the middle of the eastern desert. Salvage maybe? Unlikely, since he didn’t take anything from the slowly flooding shelter other than Rock’s jury-rigged soup talisman. On the other hoof, I might have also passed on tech in a place built with no floor drainage and faucets that broke when you tried to turn them off too fast.

“The crazy rodent managed to make a dent in the dura-steel plating, and not with his claws!” Hoof exclaimed as he turned around the bot to look at the other side.

“A steady drip can break the strongest stone.” Rock quipped between markers.

Ah ha! I am getting through to… wait, I don’t think I ever said that. Great! This brings up a whole new problem. I’ve thought so many things at the yellow pony that I can’t even remember all that I said. So even if Flower repeats something that I’ve said, I might not even know it was from me or if it’s some random bit of wisdom from Flower’s own head.

Hoof just looked impressed by the unexpected pithy comment before shrugging and returning to his work.

“So where are we heading anyways?” Flower asked from a mouth full of marker.

Talking while holding something in your mouth is a skill that I think unicorns rarely appreciate. Sure, they laugh from some earth pony tries to talk and it comes out muffled, but I doubt they even notice when somepony pulls it off flawlessly. Foalson would tease that I had horn envy when I brought it up, but that’s not true at all!

“We’re heading for Camelton, the big city not far from here. We need to find more healing items, and fresh water.” Then he added with a glare “Since somepony used up all my stock.” When he noticed that he was glaring at Flower’s duster covered backside, he quickly refocused on the sprite bot. “Or if we can’t find any, we’ll need to look for things we can sell for caps.”

“Caps?” Flower asked puzzled. “Well I guess I could use a hat in this heat, but I’d rather one different than yours.” Then quickly added. “No offense.”

Hoof chuckled to himself as he worked. “No, I mean bottle caps.”

“Why would we want those?”

Please don’t tell her. It’s practically a rite of passage that a merchant tells somepony new to Equestria about caps only after they clean out any the new comer may have on them. Lesson 23 and all that.

“It’s the currency that we use here in Equestria.”

If I could face hoof still I would.

“I know it might sound weird, but that’s what near everypony uses now. I have no idea how it got that way, but there you have it.”

Oh, I know how it started, or at least a story I’ve heard that made the most sense.

Years before I started off as a traveling merchant, there was word of a big old pony shaped robot that would roll out of the Hoofington area. These days that alone would send up alarm bells in most ponies, but back then not much was known about that death trap. This thing was said to be like a giant four legged vending machine, but instead of giving out just Sparkle Cola or Sarsaparilla, it gave out just about anything for a few bits. You name it, guns, healing potions, cybernetic parts, canned apples, even soda. Where and it showed up each year was a closely guarded secret, shared among a group of ponies that made a fortune selling off the things they got from the robot for a handful of bits. These super merchants practically set the value of all things in Equestria for over a decade.

The problem was that bits were getting harder and harder to come by. Prewar ponies hoarded them in inaccessible vaults, the larger denominations were melted down for their silver and gold content, or even just made unusable by rusting from exposure to the wasteland. It soon got to a point where the bits were rarer than the items the super merchants were selling, so they needed to find a way to keep making profits.

Then one year, when the robot showed up again one of the merchants tried putting in various other round pieces of metal to try and trick it into thinking they were bits. To all their surprise, they found that the thing couldn’t tell the difference between a bottle cap and a bit. After discovering this, all of the super merchants started buying up all the bottle caps they could. Caps were worthless at the time and literally everywhere in the millions (and unlike bits, never seem to rust away). Quickly word spread that the super merchants were buying caps, although nopony knew why, so every lesser merchant across Equestria started collecting caps too.

Ponies would trade a pile of caps to a merchant for a can of apples. The merchant would take the sacks of caps he collected and trade it with the super merchants for a crate of canned apples. The super merchant would feed the barrels of caps they collected into the robot and get cart loads of canned apples crates. Everypony thought they were making out like thieves, getting something for worthless caps. It got to the point that everypony knew that every trader took in caps, regardless of what else they sold, and quickly a system of how many caps something is worth in a fair trade was set up among traders. Not many ponies at the time realized that the “worthless caps” was now the standard currency.

As for the super merchants, they just upped and disappeared. Some say they killed each other in a bitter rivalry, others say that they all retired to Tenpony after collecting more money than they could ever spend. Personally, I believe that they got greedy and followed the robot back into Hoofington to find out where its stock came from, and just like everypony that goes into the Hoof, they never returned.

“Hey Second. Would an insect be a better pet than a molerat?” Flower asked.

Fine. Just ignore my gripping tale of the history of the bottle cap as money. Just because you can’t hear me doesn’t…

“Well it sure would be easier to take care of, and smell better.” Second said with a grin, not looking away from the sprite-bot. He really should look away from it… like right now!

“Don’t worry, Sparky doesn’t smell.” Rock replied happily. How can you be so relaxed right now with…

“What?” Hoof said, FINALLY looking over at Rock. “Who’s Spark…”

He then saw the giant fire ant standing in front of the white Maned pony. The one that I didn’t even notice come into my circle of perception because I was droning on to myself about caps. If my killer gets killed by an ant due to my negligence, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my death!

“She’s way cooler and smarter than Mole-estia, and I know for sure that she’s a girl since male ants have wings.” Flower continued to draw happily while the giant ant skittered around. “Just don’t ask how I know that, it’s one of those things where I can’t remember the stuff. Just like how I somehow know that ants live in large colonies with many different kinds on ants, like various workers, warriors and the queen. Each group is physically different in some way to each other, but they never hurt or do bad things to each other for being different. Also, when ants are born they…”

Rock kept going on about ants while the giant fire breathing ant sniffed (or whatever it does with its antenna) around the yellow pony curiously. Although it was still giant for a normal ant, it appeared to be smaller than most of the giant ants you find in the wasteland. Most giant ants are nearly the size of an adult pony, but this one was not much bigger than a foal. Perhaps it’s a lost child ant, whatever a child ant is called (sounds like Rock would know).

Though, regardless of its size, it looks like Hoof wasn’t taking any chances. “That thing is very dangerous Rock. Back away from it slowly.” He floated out with his magic a large knife from is saddle bags and was slowly floating it towards the large insect.

That was a really bad idea Hoof. The thing is currently not aggressive, but stabbing it will quickly change that. Mutant insects are notoriously hard to kill by stabbing since they don’t bleed. So, unless you are skilled enough to lop off its head in the first strike, you’ll just end up with an enraged fire breathing creature flaming you both until you do enough damage to kill it. And just try holding a levitation spell while on fire…

Flower just snorted derisively. “Well of course it’s dangerous, it’s an ant, but we’re in no threat. She’s a blue box on my Sparkle thingy. Besides, she’s all alone, so she’s either a scout or lost. If she’s a scout then she will soon go back to the colony and tell the others that there are some nummy ponies here, but we would be long gone before she comes back with reinforcements. That is, unless we can take her with us? Can we, Please?”

“Stop talking and move back.” Hoof hissed in a low voice, moving the blade closer around the ant. He was clearly terrified, and while I commend his bravery in the face of his fears, this was still a VERY bad idea!

“No need to whisper, ants don’t have ears.” Rock stopped drawing to talk over a shoulder at Hoof with the same tone of voice a teacher talking to a slow student would use. “They ‘hear’ vibrations in the ground with their knees, and your heavy breathing is already loud enough for her. Just calm down. If she is lost, then she may be just as frightened as you are. As long as we don’t come across like a threat, she won’t attack two larger animals all on her own.”

Flower’s eyes then spotted the blue-gray glow around Second’s horn. “Oh, since you’re doing that magic thing, can you float out a can of apples for Sparky?”

“What?” Hoof asked incredulously, a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face. His eyes then widened slightly, like he just had an idea. If it’s anything like his ‘stab the fire breathing ant’ idea, it won’t end well. “No, get it yourself. It’s your ant.”

Flower frowned at this, but then what must have been the realization that Hoof said ‘your ant’ lit up the stable pony’s face. “Wait right there Sparky, I’ll get you some yummies.” Flower said in almost baby talk and trotted over to the bags.

Hoof took this moment to be very stupid.

The large knife magically dove down into the ant’s midsection, pinning it to the hard ground. The insect started to let out a horrible shriek, but suddenly went silent as a massive jet of flame shot out in the direction of Rock, who Hoof mistakenly figured was out of range.

Damn it! Didn’t I tell you this would happen!

Flower screamed in terror as the old duster ignited.

In an instant Rock was airborne, surrounded in Hoof’s magic glow as the unicorn frantically tried to separate the flaming duster from its flailing owner. With his full concentration focused on saving his companion from burning, he must have momentarily forgotten about the irate impaled insect which now targeted him.

The ant’s second fiery blast didn’t fully reach Second, but the sudden intense heat and light must have shocked him enough that his magic around Rock disappeared. I told you that you can’t do telekinesis while on fire!!

Quickly getting back on all fours, Flower managed to tear off the burning remains of the duster and stomped it out with a hoof, making sure to be well clear of the pinned fire ant.

Hoof had also staggered out of the range of the insect and was levitating out a healing potion from his saddle. The hair on his front legs were partly burnt off and painful looking blisters were already forming. He barely drank more than a sip of the healing elixir when Flower ran over and snatched it out of his magic grip with a hoof.

Hoof suddenly looked abashed. “I’m sorry Rock, I should have checked if you needed it first. Where are you most…” The unicorn’s words died in his mouth as he watched Flower, now only wearing a snug Stable 86 jump suit, trot around the back of the frantic ant and pour the remaining healing potion on it.

Wow. Words fail me too.

At least the sudden healing either calmed or surprised the ant enough to stop breathing fire everywhere. Yet Flower kind of forgot to take the knife out first…

Realizing this a moment later, Rock grabbed a mouthful of knife handle and quickly jerked it upwards. This action removed the knife from the ground, but it was still firmly embedded in the ant.

Finally free from being nailed in place, the miniature giant red fire ant wriggled free of Rock’s grasp. It then quickly, and rather silently, scurried off into the desert. It seemed oblivious that it still had a large knife sticking out of it, and the knife didn’t seem to be doing it any harm being there, a side effect of the healing potion I guess.

“What in the wild wasteland did you do that for!?”

Sounds like Hoof is finally over his shock.

“That was our last healing potion! … and my expensive new knife!” He yelled while marching over to the yellow pony.

“She needed it more than we did.” Rock answered defiantly, looking right into his eyes.

“WHAT?!” Hoof bellowed. “How can you say that two ponies are less of a priority than some mutant freak insect that…” He was suddenly cut off by a hoof slapping his face

“She wasn’t a freak!” Rock screamed, suddenly on the verge of tears.

That outburst drained the fight from Hoof faster than the slap did. Attacking the ant may have been very stupid, but at least he has enough sense to realize that for Rock this was about more than just an ant.

He took a deep breath, took a step back, and composed himself. “I’m sorry. All I meant to say was, how long do you think an ant can survive in the wasteland with a knife sticking out of it?”

“Well…” Flower started with a sniffle, clearly relieved by the change of subject. “Their growth is increased 100 times, so perhaps their life span is too.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Second said rolling his eyes, then looked back to Flower. “With that knife stuck in it like…” his words trailed off as his eyes went wide.

Considering that the yellow pony was now only dressed in a jumpsuit, I wonder if Hoof just noticed Rock’s little secret...

Second’s hoof shot forwards and pointed at a bulge between Flower’s legs, clearly defined against the snug jumpsuit. “H…how… what… but that’s…” he sputtered. “A member!?” he finally spit out in disbelief.

“What?” The stable pony answered back confused.

The unicorn’s horn glowed, and then the corresponding glow shone faintly under the area of the jumpsuit surrounding the offending protuberance.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Rock protested, trying to cross one leg over the other.

Then with a sudden magical tug upwards, Hoof pulled up from between Flower’s front legs and out of the neck of the jumpsuit an odd looking medallion attached by a long chain.

“How are you a member of the Four Hooves group?” Second asked in disbelief while staring intently at the piece of jewelry.

Talk about missing the forest for the trees…

The pendant looked like four small interlocking old fashion horseshoes. Two were made of a pinkish metal and the other two were white metal. Each had colored gemstones where the nails would traditionally go. Kind of disturbing to think that ponies had to nail their shoes to their hooves long ago, whoever invented the boot must have made a fortune!

“Not just any member.” Hoof said, his eyes going wider. “This is a founding member’s medallion!”

“I had it on me when I lost my memory, I don’t remember where I got that necklace.” Flower said in an anxious tone. “What is it?”

“It’s a medallion of the Four Hooves group. It was a volunteer run prewar organization. I guess the best way to describe them would be like the Ministry Of Morale if they actually did what the title implied. It was founded by four friends, from four major pony cities, and representing the four types of ponies earth pony, pegasus, alicorn, and unicorn.”

While Second held up the pendant and rambled excitedly about a group that I’ve never even heard of, Flower backed out of the necklace and trotted over to the remains of the duster. Holding up the large coat with a hoof, it was clear to see that it was now more burnt holes than covering garment. The odd red gun tumbled from a burnt out pocket unscathed, nice to know my murder weapon was still intact…

No, I shouldn’t think like that. It was an accident, Rock didn’t know I was there and still doesn’t even know about causing my demise. Focusing on bitter thoughts will likely turn me into one of those nasty vengeful spirits you hear about in ghost stories.

“… and baseball games.” Oh, Second was still going on about that group. “In short, they had a hoof in most day to day elements of pony life that didn’t involve the war. The driving philosophy behind the group was ‘many hooves make light work’, and that brings us back to your medallion.”

By now Flower had brought the red pistol and what was left of the duster over to Second’s saddle bags, which were resting near the hovering spritebot, and placed them into a side pocket. Slipping them on, the slender yellow pony managed with a bit of struggling to lift the bags just as Second looked away from the pendant.

“Umm, those are my bags, I can carry them."

“Your legs got burnt. I’ll carry it for a while.” Flower said with a small grunt of discomfort and walked over to the stallion. “You were saying something about many hooves?”

“Oh, right.” Second said preparing to go back into his impromptu history lesson, and then he smiled as his eyes lit up. “Yes, exactly! Well, the general volunteers of the group all wore silver pins or pendants of the Four Hooves emblem while the higher up organizers and supervisors had them made out of gold. Only the four founding members had medallions of the logo made from colored metal and embedded with gemstones, just like the one you have. Although it’s a bit of a mystery how you came to have one…”

I’ve come across a couple of those silver brooches in my travels but I never knew that they were associated with a prewar group. Live and learn, or just learn in my case I guess…

After thinking a moment, Hoof continued. “You see, the three known founders died either during the war and were buried with their medallion, or when the mega-spells hit and they had it on them at the time. There’s no record of who the alicorn founding member was, but it was presumably one of the princesses and they both died in Canterlot. Although, there is the theory that the alicorn member was just symbolic and some regular pony held the position. This resolves the contradictions that arise from it being Luna or Celestia, but conflicts with some other sources…”

He seems to know just as much about these 100 year dead ponies as Flower does about ants. They may not look or act like it, but I guess both of them are eggheads in their own ways. I’ve always been a ‘learn by experience’ type of pony myself, there’s too much to learn about the current world to be spending time in a book about the old one.

Second was lost in thought again before snapping out of it and looked to Flower with a smile. “Sorry, I was getting off topic. So, everything clear now?”

Rock returned the smile and happily said “Not a thing!”

“Well that’s good to… huh?” The stallion did a double take. I didn’t think anypony actually did that. “What do you mean? What part didn’t make sense?”

“Well, most all of it.” Flower shrugged. “You mentioned something about a war, about minsters, a cloud’s tail, and a bunch more things that I’ve never heard of or forgotten. Only thing that I think I recognized was baseball, that’s some kind of game played with diamonds or something like that?”

Second looked dumbfounded for a moment then face-hoofed. “I’m sorry Rock, I forgot about your memory loss. First off, the word was ministries not minsters and Cloudsdale not a cloud’s tail, you’re right enough though about baseball I guess. As for the war, I’ll have to back up about 150 years to explain the whole mess, but first…”

He trotted back over to the sprite bot and grabbed it in his magical glow. In a moment the robot’s wings stopped fluttering and folded themselves against the metal body as it briefly dropped out of the air, now only supported by Hoof’s telekinesis. The self-proclaimed merchant with a freakish knowledge of prewar history floated the bot over to Rock and stuffed it into one of the saddlebags, eliciting a wince from the pony.

“Are you ok?” Second asked concerned. “You never did say if you got burnt.”

“I’m fine, Sparky just got my duster.” Flower forced a smile. “Umm, theses bags are just a bit heavy.”

“I appreciate you helping to share the load, but if they’re too much I could carry them. My legs were mostly healed from the sip of potion that I did get.”

“No no, I can manage it.” Flower said hastily, then pointing a hoof towards the tall buildings in the distance. “So, we’re heading that way?”

“Yup, and I’ll get you up to speed about Equestrian history on our way. It all started off with coal…” Second began with an optimistic tone.

Well, at least this will be better than walking in silence.

~~~***~~~

Oh how I miss the silence!

Aside for brief pit-stop where Hoof had some business to attend to behind a rock, thankfully out of my circle of perception, the past several hours was one long history lesson.

He just kept going on and on! Most of it was common knowledge to any educated wastelander, things like the cause of the war, Luna taking over with the ministries, the assassination attempt, and the day the mega spells hit. Yet he also kept going off on tangents with pointless extra trivia, like how one of Pinkie’s sisters had a big mining operation in the mounts out west. How does he know all this stuff, and who cares? The only thing that seemed to be lacking from his overly comprehensive lesson was any mention of the O.I.A.

“So, this place didn’t look like this originally?” Flower said looking up at the tall weather-beaten skyscrapers of Camelton.

“No, hundred years ago this was a lively major city, the area around was all green plains, and the sky was a cloudless blue most of the time. Hopefully we can find some prewar photos so you could see how beautiful Equestria use to be.” Hoof then added in an oddly frustrated tone. “Would be easier if you could view memory orbs…”

“What’s that?” Flower asked.

“Oh, just a thing that lets unicorns see the recorded memories of other ponies.” Second said hastily with a wave of his hoof. “Mostly prewar stuff, but since you’re not a unicorn it would be useless to you.” There was a clear tint of annoyance in his voice. Was it because of the limitations of memory orbs, or that Flower wasn't a unicorn?

“No. I mean what’s that?” Flower pointed a hoof towards a massive brown and black blurry shape just past the point where things look clear to me.

Then the huge shape moved and let out a low growl.

Hoof’s eyes went wide and he whispered urgently “Hide!”

They both darted for cover behind a large slab of building that was lying in the street. This brought them close enough that I could make out that the creature was facing away and luckily didn’t notice either of them yet.

“That’s a bear!” Second whispered, a hint of panic in his voice as they peered over the edge of the debris.

“That name seems to fit, but I get the feeling that it should be smaller.” Flower said casually, like a nine meter long bear was just a curiosity and no cause for alarm.

“They are normally much smaller. This one is freakishly huge! They are normally around three or… Wait.” Second cut himself off and stared out towards the massive bear. “I think it’s after somepony! I saw something blue move briefly in the shadows.”

“So bears eat ponies?”

“Yes. At least, sometimes when they are hungry enough, most times they avoid them. The ghoulified yao guai don’t need to eat, but this isn’t one of those.” Hoof then paused, a look of resolve forming on his face. “We need to help them.”

“Given the size, I don’t think the bear would need any help eating a pony.” Flower said with a shrug.

The stallion face-hoofed. “I mean help the pony.”

“Why?” Rock asked matter-of-factly.

Second just stared at the white maned pony for a moment like he was just slapped in the face. “What do you mean ‘Why?’?!” he whispered exasperatedly.

“You said that bears eat ponies when they are really hungry, so if that bear can’t eat that pony it may starve.” Flower explained calmly. “So it’s one life for another. Why should we endanger the bear’s life to protect the pony’s? Shouldn’t life be equal?”

Second dragged a hoof across his face in disbelief of what Rock was saying. I was finding it hard to believe it myself, I wasn’t sure if it was naïveté or disturbingly pragmatic. “Ponies help each other!” He said in a frustrated tone. “So we need to help that pony. That makes it three pony lives at stake over one bear’s. Good of the many and all that.”

“You sure ponies help each other?” Flower asked skeptically. “That doesn’t feel correct to me.”

“Yes!” Hoof hissed, and then let out a defeated sigh. “Actually, no. Most ponies these days don’t help each other, they only look after themselves and would just as likely kill another pony for no reason…” The dark olive stallion then lifted a hoof and his voice was filled with determination. “But we need to do better than that or else this world will still be a wasteland a century from now! You need to set an example of how a pony should be!”

Rock sat down behind the chunk of office building, clearly mulling over Second’s words. He sure had a point about ponies needing to work together. All the settlements that I networked together through trade survived much better than the ones that insisted on ‘going it alone’. Though, Hoof could tone down the melodrama a bit…

“We need a way to draw that giant bear away from where that pony is hiding…” Second muttered peering back over the rubble at the massive beast. “Have any ideas Rock?”

The yellow pony was still lost in though and didn’t even look up.

“Rock?” Hoof asked again, looking back at his contemplative companion.

“Rock!” The unicorn yelled as quietly as he probably dared.

“What? Oh, sorry.” Flower said suddenly coming to attention and looking about, then picked up a large stone with a hoof “Here’s one!”

Before Second realized what Flower was doing, or me for that matter, the thin stable dweller hurled the stone at the over-sized bear.

It connected with a resounding thud were the blurry shape of its head was. Rather impressive throw…

The beast whirled around with an earth shaking roar and looked in the direction the projectile came in.

“Ok, we drew its attention away.” Rock said standing in clear view behind the rubble. “Now what?”

“RUN!” Second screamed as the bear spotted its yellow and white assailant and began to charge!

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Author note:
Third part! I think I just heard someone scream in frustration at this chapter.. :D Things are really starting to move now, and major action and surprises are just around the corner! Speical thanks to WirePony for coming up with the molerat/sprite-bot idea, and a friendly hobo for the use of his ant! ^_^

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 4 : Bugbear

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 4 : Bugbear

Waste Land Survival Lesson 7:
“Always be prepared to run.”

“Why the hay did you do that!?” Second yelled to Flower as the massive beast chased them down the deserted street.

“It was your idea!” the stable pony called back, trying to catch up.

“What?! How is this my fault?”

“You said that we need to distract the bear and then called for a rock.”

Hoof’s eyes went wide as they galloped. I’m sure if he wasn’t too busy running for his life he would have face hoofed. “I was calling for you, Rock, not a rock!”

“What?” Rock asked in a puzzled tone, and then gave a look of realization. “Oh, I’m Rock!”

“Did you forget your own name, mare!?” Hoof shouted in frustration.

“Do bears normally carry axes? That just seems odd for some reason.” Flower called to Hoof.

What do you mean by… the heck!?

Second turned his head around to look back in confusion and then screamed in terror “That’s not a bear!”

Rock had trailed behind Hoof quite a bit, to the point that he was near the edge of my circle of perception, and the “bear” was entering it from the other end. Now that it was clear, I could see that this behemoth had a head and back legs like a pony with the body and front legs of a bear. It was trundling forwards at great speed using just three legs, due to it holding a massive crude axe in one of its front paws. The weapon looked like a sharpened pony shoulder bone tied to a street sign post!

“Down this way!” Hoof called out as he darted down a narrow alley between two buildings.

Flower caught up and dove down the alley with the bear-thing much too close for comfort. The space between the buildings was too small for the creature to get through, but it lunged a massive paw at the yellow pony. Flower was jerked back with a shriek as the claws managed to grab puffy white tail hair.

Second was half way up a massive pile of rubble that blocked half the alley when Flower’s scream caused him to look back and see the giant thing trying to drag out the struggling pony. His horn flared with blue-gray light as the same glow surrounded Flower's body.

With a sudden telekinetic yank, Rock was pulled free as long fluffy clumps of tail hair tore off and remained in the monster’s claws. After taking a couple futile swipes the pony-bear creature gave out an angry bellow, that sound like half whinny and half roar, and then ran down the street away from the alley.

“OW! That hurt!” Flower called out indignantly.

“Shut up and keep moving! That thing may find another way around to us!” Second called back as he returned to scrambling up the hill of debris.

After some very brief tail maintenance, the Stable pony galloped up to the obstructing rubble and began to climb. Flower’s progression was much slower than Second’s, who was already waiting at the top, and every other step seemed to induce a pained grimace.

“I can’t climb with these things on my back.” Rock panted just over half way up the massive pile.

“For crying out loud…” Hoof grumbled. “You have got to be the weakest earth pony I have ever met!” and with that he magically lifted the saddle bags off of Flower, causing a startled yelp, and set them on his own back. “Now hurry!”

Without the saddlebags Flower made quick work of the mountain of debris and was soon at the top with Second. The other side of the rubble was covered with a mostly intact wall that had fallen away from the adjacent building, allowing for a speedy (albeit barely controlled) descent.

“I think we lost…” Second started as he cautiously poked his head out from the alley, only to be interrupted by a massive whinny-roar.

The massive half pony creature stepped out from behind a ruined sky wagon. It was waiting for them this whole time!?

“Across the street! Quick!” Second shouted and galloped towards the arched entrances of a tall orange-brick building opposite from the alley, with Rock close behind.

The bear thing charged as the merchant ran past and swung its massive axe down, missing Second and causing Flower to nearly run into it. With a quick leap to the left, the yellow pony dove around it and galloped through the building’s last archway moments after Hoof entered the first.

With a roar of frustration the giant creature spun around smashed against the front of the building with its massive paws. Bricks that withstood a hundred years of weathering and neglect crumbled against the onslaught, and the archways shook as the monster pounded at the wall.

“He’s going to bring the whole place down on us! Run!” Hoof called across the building’s massive foyer to Rock.

As they ran, there was the sound like an avalanche behind them as the front archways collapsed, bringing half the front wall down with them. Luckily, this seemed to have blocked off any way for the bear thing to get in. Unluckily, this also blocked off the way out.

“Well that bought us some time.” Hoof said as he slowed to a trot. He then called to Flower, who was still on the other side of the large marble floored lobby, “Now we just need to find a…”

He was cut off by a horrendous sound of twisting metal and crumbling brick. In an instant the ceiling above them began to sag and buckle. The two ponies just barely managed to dive to the walls on either side of the vestibule as the ceiling, I guess due to the lack of support from the arches, crashed down to the floor. The room was instantly filled with a massive dust cloud, obscuring my view of everything, and the cacophony of the contents of the floor above us crashing down.

Second coughed against the dust and kicked away a stray timber that missed impaling him by centimeters. “Are you ok Rock?”

“Yeah. Other than covered in dust and a few splinters.” Flower called back through the dust.

“Good. Get over here before the rest of the place comes down.”

“That may be a problem…”

As the dust settled I could finally see the full extent of the damage. Not only had the ceiling collapsed, but the weight of it caused the middle of the floor to crash down into the basement, and then that into the subbasement! Now a massive chasm separated the two ponies.

“I don’t think my magic is strong enough to float you over, hold on…” Second called out while looking around quickly. He then spotted a door on his of the room, galloping over he pushed it open. “I found a door leading out!” He called back across the gap to Flower. “See if you can find one on your side!”

“I found a door!” Flower called back, causing Second to sigh with relief, and then added “It leads to stairs going up.”

“Great.” Second face-hoofed and then stuck his head out the door, looking upwards. After scanning the skyline a moment he called back across what was left of the room to Rock. “Ok, here’s the plan. You climb up the stairs and try to find another way out. Maybe there’s a fire escape, or you could get down through another building across the roof. I’ll see if I can draw away that pony-bear-thing, since I have all the weapons with me. There’s a giant green skyscraper a few blocks from here, you can see it anywhere in the city, we’ll meet back up there.”

“Climb up, get down, meet at green tower. Got it.” Flower quickly summarized with a smile. “Anything else?”

“Don’t get killed. There may be more of those bear things in this city, or other things just as dangerous. Take one of my guns with you.” Hoof said as his horn began to glow

“No thanks.” Flower said waving a hoof. “Those things hurt my mouth to fire. I’ll keep an eye out for something better while exploring though.”

“What? Exploring?! This isn’t some sort of…” Hoof started, still levitating a pistol out of his saddle bag, but then stopped with a smile. “Actually, that’s a good idea.” He said while putting away the gun and moving to the door. “See what you can come up with and tell me all about it when we meet up!”

Hoof carefully looked through the door to make sure the coast was clear, only an empty street greeted him. With a sigh of relief he stepped out. Then, just as the door clicked shut, there was a not-too-distant roar.

Frantically, the unicorn tried to open the door with his magic, but the thing must have been made to only open from the inside. He began galloping wildly down the street as the distant blur of the pony creature rounded a corner and charged after him.

Why was this thing so determined to follow Second? I doubt that he could be all that tasty or…

Wait.

Why was I following Second, for that matter?!

I didn’t notice before, but once the door closed I couldn’t see Rock any more. Now I was being dragged along as Hoof runs for his life.

What the heck is going on here?

What kind of ghost am I if I can’t even stick with the pony that I’m haunting?!

~~~***~~~

Hoof managed to lose the bear-monster, I should come up with a name for it, by squeezing through another narrow alley and was now going down an abandoned street at a fast trot.

This didn’t make any sense.

Rock was the one who killed me, even if it was an accident, so it made some kind of sense that it was Rock that I was haunting. So why is it that I’m suddenly stuck with Hoof? Was my time being tethered to Rock already over and now I’ve moved on to whichever pony is around? Like some kind of supernatural parasite that just floats from one host to the next? Or was Hoof somehow also responsible for my death and I’m destined to bounce between the two like an afterlife time share?

“Audio-log five.” Hoof said as he ran.

Was he talking to himself? Oh, he had an audio recorder floating in his magic.

“No, six.” He corrected. “Last maybe…”

This better not be some kind of last will and testament thing. It’s too early to be giving up.

“The stupid mare antagonized a giant mutant bear… pony… thing.”

Oh, it’s some kind of diary. Is now really the time?

“We got separated. I have no idea where she is. I have no idea where the bear is.”

Judging from those distant growls, it’s not far enough away.

“If I die, I’m going to come back and haunt her!”

Yeah, good luck with that. You may just wind up haunting the bear-thing, or somepony near the bear for no reason.

“This is all her fault!”

Hey now, it was your idea to save somepony from that thing. It was noble goal, albeit very foolhardy. Also, you did want the bear-thing away from that pony and Rock did just that.

Suddenly from an alley came the sound of massive hooves and paws.

“Oh crap! I think it found me!” Second proclaimed into the recorder and stuffed it into his saddlebags just as the beast leapt from between the buildings with a snarl. The dark olive pony scrambled away from the bear-thing, barely avoiding being pounced on.

Then a mighty paw swung out and slammed into Hoof’s side with a metallic crunch, sending him tumbling across the street. Either he was part cyber-pony, or the sprite bot in his bags just saved his life by absorbing most of the impact.

“Aarrrhg!” Second screamed in pain while getting up, then pressed a hoof to his side. “Gaah!” It’s hard to see with his saddlebags on, but it sounds like that blow cracked a rib.

Grunting, Second began to run the best he could away from the bear-thing. “Why are you chasing me?! I didn’t even throw the rock at you!” he called back.

I don’t think the thing cares at this point.

The unicorn’s horn began to glow and two pistols floated out of his saddle bags. He fired blindly behind him at the creature as he ran, but given the size of the thing and its unnerving proximity, most still hit.

Not that the shots slowed it down in the slightest.

When the guns both clicked empty he stuffed them back into his bags and levitated out two rifles.

“Why…” Second started while firing the higher caliber weapons back at the beast. The more powerful guns punched holes in the creature when they hit, but it hardly noticed.

“Won’t…” He continued as the rifles ran dry and he stuffed them back into his bags. His telekinesis then pulled out a silenced pistol and a shotgun. The rather odd mix of weapons was doubly useless though, as the pistol lacked the power and the shotgun lacked the range to harm the bear-pony.

“You…” Hoof returned the loud and quiet guns to the bags once they were both empty. Did he really have only one round or ammo for each weapon he carried?

Out of desperation he lit a stick of dynamite and dropped it in the path of the charging beast, then without even pausing he armed and dropped three land mines. The pony-bear simply charged past the dynamite before it even exploded, and only one of the three mines detonated close enough to cause a pained roar.

“Stop!!” Second screamed as he levitated out what must have been his very last weapon, Flower’s odd red pistol. He pointed it back towards the now lightly singed creature that was still in hot pursuit and…

Noting.

The gun didn’t even click empty.

With a look of puzzlement, Second floated it in front of him as he ran. I could see all around it as it floated but I couldn’t find any kind of trigger, and I guess he couldn’t either. Carved all over the surface of the weapon were strange symbols and patterns. Perhaps the triggering mechanism was hidden among them.

Hold on. Is this entire gun made of wood?!

Judging from the frustration on Hoof’s face, he must have made the same discovery.

“Fuuuuuuuuuu…”

His profanity was cut off suddenly when, paying more attention to the pistol than where he was going, Second ran right into an open pony-hole and splashed down into 100 year old sewer water.

The beast stuck its massive head down the pony-hole, then quickly pulled it back out, letting loose a disgusted roar as it ran off.

I am so glad right now that I can neither smell nor taste my surroundings!

~~~***~~~

After waiting to make sure that the pony-bear was really gone, Hoof climbed out of the horrid water and onto an elevated edge. He then proceeded to vomit.

A lot.

Oh no. Dark red is really not a healthy color for puke.

Did that hit the bear-thing got in do some serious internal damage? Or maybe he’s been dealing with severe magical radiation poisoning…

“Ugh. That tasted better the first time…” Second said with a groan and wiped his muzzle with a hoof.

Oh yeah… He’s been eating practically nothing but off color tomato soup for the past 3 days. You had me worried there for a second Second!

The pony-hole that he fell down from was positioned high above the slowly moving waste water, so there was no simple way to get back out that way. Hoof must have noticed this too since he started to walk along the narrow ledge and looking down each intersection he came across, presumably searching for a way out.

Finally, after walking along the sewers for several blocks, Second came across a ladder that lead up to a covered pony-hole. Using his magic, Hoof strained to telekinetically lift the heavy round cover barely up from the hole. The sewer was then filled with the sound of metal scraping across concrete as he struggled to magically push it aside. Pausing a moment to catch his breath, which must be an unpleasant thing to have to do in a sewer, Second placed his fore-hooves on one of the rungs of the ladder and began to climb.

Funny invention, ladders, they are really awkward for just about anypony to climb. They seem better suited for bipedal beings such as minotaurs or hellhounds. You would think with all the incredible prewar advances that ponykind came up with, they would figure out a better way for a pony to climb vertically.

When Second fully climbed out of the pony-hole, he was met by two ponies in tattered pre-war pinstriped suits.

Great, the Yune-Yun Clan.

They must have noticed the sound of the pony-hole cover being moved around and came to investigate. Second is just having no manner of luck today.

“Now what do we have here?” The smaller of the two, a weaselly looking purplish earth pony with a long neck, walked up to Second. “I haven’t seen you in these parts before. Whatcha selling, merchant?”

Taking a sudden step back, the gang member put a hoof over his nose. “Pewh! You’re selling stink apparently. Well, even a stink seller has to have the right papers around here. Let’s see your license.”

“What?” Second asked confused. “I don’t know anything about any license. I’m just trying to…”

“Wrong answer merchant.” The Yune-Yun pony interrupted. “Brick, show this merchant the initial penalty for not having a license.”

The, apply named, large brick-red earth pony walked up to Second and struck him across the face with a fore-hoof.

This is why I never do business in Camelton.

The Yune-Yun clan controls all manner of trade in the city, and they extort bits from anypony who tries to set up shop. You can’t even scavenge without paying exorbitantly high dues. Only the most desperate traders, or the most foolish, come here to do business. The lack of any reasonable trade in this area is also why there is almost nopony living in the city. The stupid bunch of gangsters are shooting themselves in the hoof with this overaggressive tactic. They would make more bits if they encouraged trade with lower fees and the promise of security instead of brutality.

Hoof staggered back with a gasp. “There’s no need to be violent! I’m not here to buy, or sell, or trade anything! I’m just passing through with a friend of mine, and the stupid mare threw a rock at a gigantic mutant bear pony thing!”

“Ha!” The smaller gang member snorted, still covering his nose from the stench. “This horn head is afraid of Kodiak! That bear’s growl is worse than her bite. Only reason Heartwood gets to keep his little pet is because he always pays the Yune-Yun his dues.”

The purplish pony then walked closer to Second. “Speaking of which, I’m going to ask you one more time…”

“Look, I think we’re talking about a different bear. Unless this Kodiak of yours is like ten meters long, giant, half pony, and…” Second’s eyes went wide suddenly a he shot a hoof out, pointing past the earth pony. “RIGHT BEHIND YOU!”

The gangster turned his head just in time to see the massive creature, which somehow snuck up during the exchange, rear up with its axe between its forepaws. It then slammed its weapon down with so much force that the purple pony was cleaved in two instantly.

“Gahh! Ahh! Ahhh!” Hoof shrieked as he was suddenly drenched in blood and gore, he frantically started trying to wipe the Yune-Yun pony off of him.

Fortunately, self-preservation must have finally overridden visceral disgust and Hoof ran while the monster turned its attention to Brick.

~~~***~~~

Hoof managed to gallop all the way to the green skyscraper without any injury or mishap. I guess that the bear-pony was too busy having a Yune-Yun lunch to catch up.

Maybe I should call that thing a ponbear? Bearony? Brony? No, those are stupid names…

Waiting on the steps to the tall building was Rock, wearing a big smile. “Heya Second! Where’s the bear?”

“I managed to lose it for a while, but I’m betting it will somehow find me soon enough.” Hoof said with a sigh as he began to climb the steps. I bet he was thinking that Rock was way too chipper compared to all that he just went through.

“Oh good.” The stable pony pointed at a large sack that rested at the top of the stairs. “I put together something that should stop it.”

“What is it?” Hoof asked as he reached the bag.

“Well,” Flower started cheerfully. “I followed your suggestion and climbed up to the top of the building we were in then jumped across to the next building to find a way back down. That building was owned by the mister of war tech and.”

“Ministry of Wartime Technology.” Hoof corrected.

“Right, that. Well the upper levels were full of all kinds of weapons and stuff. Mostly just big guns and stuff, but some things matched your description of explosives! So I took four big grenade things, linked them to the proximity detector of a landmine, and stuffed them all in this bag. Once I turn it on it should blow up really nice once the bear gets close enough!”

Second suddenly stopped prodding the bag with a hoof. “What? Where did you learn to make a satchel charge?”

“Oh, it already has a name?” Flower pouted a little. “I was going to call it the ‘big-bag-o’-boom’. I don’t think I learned it anywhere. I just put the parts together the way that seemed right. Like how I fixed up my Soup Stone.”

Hoof gave an impressed whistle. I guess his frustration of Flower having a better afternoon was overshadowed by the display of technical aptitude.

“By the way, here’s your fake gun back.” Hoof’s horn glowed and the red wooden gun floated out of his saddle bag and was inserted into a foreleg pocket of Flower’s jumpsuit.

“Yay! Thanks, I thought I lost it somewhere.” Rock then did a double take at Hoof, as if just noticing his current appearance. “Oh my, you look horrible and smell even worse!”

Hoof’s face was bruised up, his mane was matted with drying Yune-Yun gore, his clothes were soaked with hundred year old sewage, and everywhere else was covered with dirt and filth.

“Yeah, well you look…” He started, then his eyes widened. “Surprisingly clean and…” he sniffed. “Smelling like a rose?!”

“Oh, so that’s what this scent is. It’s a little too flowery for me, but I didn’t have many options.”

“What? How are you…?” Hoof flustered.

“Well, while I was exploring the other building I found a living space that still had power and running water. Since I never got to have my bath at the last place we stopped at, and I was all covered in dust, I decided to have a hot bath. The pony that owned the place must have really liked roses, since all the soaps and shampoos smelled like it.”

Second face-hoofed. I feel for you, some ponies have all the luck. What are the odds that the same pony would find two working baths with clean water in the middle of a des…

I hear clicking.

Magical radiation detector clicking.

Oh, that’s not good. Flower’s Pip-Buck is reading nearly to the yellow. The water must not have been clean, and Rock didn’t realize what that sound meant. A few more rads and we’re going to start having a rather sick Stable pony on our hooves.

Well on Hoof’s hooves, I don’t have mine any more. I just hope that he notices before Flower gets worse.

“That’s it! We’re going back there right now!” Hoof declared and started walking down the steps.

So much for being attentive…

“We can’t.” Flower called to the unicorn. “The only way I found to get out was by jumping off a second story balcony into a pile of boxes. There’s no way to get back in from the ground.”

Hoof stopped in his tracks and sighed. “Of course.” Turning back around Hoof slowly trotted back up the steps to Flower. “I don’t suppose you found anyplace with healing items did you?”

“Actually I did!” Flower smiled. “While waiting for you, I looked around the lobby of this tower and there was a list of all the offices in here. One of them was something like ‘Happy Hoof Medical’, they might have some healing stuff.”

“But…?” Hoof asked. With how his day was going, I doubt he figured it would be easy.

“But it’s on the thirtieth floor.”

“Of course.”

~~~***~~~

The long climb up the thirty flights of stairs was painfully tedious, and in Second’s case just plain painful, if the grimace he wore after the first dozen flights was to go by.

Flower seemed to take the climb with ease, barely breaking a sweat. This was most likely due to the combination of not having spent the past few hours on the run from a bear-pony, not having to carry Hoof’s over laden saddle bags, not having possibly cracked ribs, and keeping a leisurely pace half a flight behind the merchant pony.

Rock claimed that this last point was in order to catch Hoof if he fell and to watch his back for any surprise assault. Personally, I think it wasn’t Second’s back that Flower was concerned about being watched.

Or maybe it was just to stay upwind. I still don’t know just how rank Hoof currently smells.

One interesting fact that I discovered with they climbed was that my field of perception isn’t a vertical cylinder like I pictured it, but actually a large sphere. The same circular limit of clarity extended up and down the stairs, curving inwards at the corners, and in the center was Flower once again…

I give up trying to figure out who the heck I’m haunting or why. It’s like I’m some kind of ethereal relay baton.

At least Hoof finally had a bit of good luck once we reached the clinic, which of course was located at the farthest corner from the stairs. Apparently the combination of the ridiculous climb and the Yune-Yun’s discouragement of independent scavenging resulted in the clinic being almost untouched and fully stocked.

Second wasted no time in stuffing every pouch and pocket the he and Flower had with all manner of healing items. From super healing potions to magical bandages, from Rad-X to fixer, even a couple doctor bags and splits for good measure.

I got the impression that he expects the rest of their journey to not be smooth sailing.

Just make sure you give some Rad-away to Flower!

Hoof was in the middle of drinking a healing potion when he suddenly stopped with his ears perked up.

Did he hear me?

“Bear thing!” The merchant whispered, his eyes going wide.

Why do I even get my hopes up?

“Wow, I didn’t even hear that. You’ve got good ears Second.” Rock said while playing with a stethoscope.

“That sound is going to give me nightmares for years…” Hoof then gave a shudder and walked out of the clinic and into the main hall, Rock close behind.

They walked over to a row of blown out windows and peered down to the street. At least I’m assuming that’s what they were looking at, the ground was much too far away for my perception and aside from a circular chunk of the building I could only make out a gray and brown blur all directions.

“Here it comes!” Second said with an edge of fear in his voice. “How does it keep finding me?”

“Have you smelt yourself recently?” Flower replied with a smile.

“Good point. Well, I hope that your satchel charge can at least slow it down. I threw three land mines at it and it just shrugged them off.”

I just hope for your sake that it uses the front entrance where Rock set it, and not just smashes through a wall...

“Well those Ticky Bombs sure looked powerful.” Rock shrugged.

Ticky bombs?

“Ticky bombs?” Hoof echoed my thought.

“Yeah. Big, glowy, egg shaped bombs that made my pip-buck say ‘Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick’, so I called them Ticky Bombs. I figured four would be enough for a thing that size.”

No…

Flower couldn’t have…

Hoof’s eyes went wide with realization and yelled “You what?! Are you out of your little pony mind!? Get down!” and then dove to the floor below the window pane.

Flower just looked down at the merchant in confusion for a moment before he pulled the yellow pony down with him.

Half a moment later the view outside the window changed from a brow-gray blur into a violent fiery green-gold wave and horrible noise.

Somewhere, far on the ground below, the pony-bear thing was just vaporized by four balefire eggs.

Congratulations Rock, you just made a mini-mega-spell.

As soon as the roar of the explosion and the noise of distant wagon alarms died away, Second sprang to his hooves and began to gallop down the long hall back towards the stairs.

“Come on Rock! That blast might bring this whole place dow…” His call was interrupted by a monstrous roar of snapping steal, breaking glass, and crumbling concrete.

The hall lurched violently, and then all the glass and debris began to slowly tumble across the floor towards the direction of the stairs, as if even the rubble wanted to escape.

Rock’s hooves began to slide forwards as the pace of the surreal wreckage exodus increased. Second continued to gallop away, but his legs tangled under him and he rolled end over end towards the fall wall.

Now Flower is dangling almost horizontally, hooves locked over the side of the window pane. It’s like all of gravity is rotating to the…

No!

The tower is toppling over!

Well, add being able to tell which way is up without reference to the skills I have lost.

Flower screamed and was pulled suddenly back away from the window and towards the wall. No, that’s now upwards, not backwards.

Oh crap! The building is falling faster!

For a horrifyingly long moment Flower was plastered by g-forces onto the wall, while Hoof lay in a blurry pile between two windows far down the other end of the hall.

Then the moment was over and gravity reasserted it’s self with a vengeance as the free-fall of the tower violently ground to a halt.

It must have hit a building across the street which stopped it from just falling to the pavement.

The floor, now a near vertical wall, burst apart with the force of the shuddering stop and Flower was violently thrown down across it. If the angle was any steeper the poor stable pony would have fallen straight down to the smashed open windows below. Now it was only like being propelled down a gigantic cheese grater of shattered concrete and jagged rebar.

Rock’s descent was halted suddenly half way down the hall with the sound of ripping fabric and a scream of pain.

A sharp hook of metal jutting up from the floor-wall had snagged and torn through the back of Flower’s Stable jumpsuit, scraping along the stable pony’s back as it went, and getting caught on the thicker fabric of the collar.

From the bottom edge of my perception I noticed movement between two windows on the wall, now floor. Hoof extricated himself from the pile of dust and debris that fell his way during the crash.

“Rock! Are you ok?” He called up to the other pony.

“No! This really hurts! And my collar is stuck!”

“See if you can unzip your jumpsuit and get out of it!”

Flower’s eyes went wide at that suggestion. “N, no! I won’t take it off!”

“What?!” Hoof called up in disbelief. “Why the heck… Forget it, whatever the reason, it’s too stupid to die for! Just get it off!”

The stable pony tried to squirm free of the hook, but only ended up gasping in pain.

“Ok…” With a look bordering on total panic, Flower lifted a hoof to the jump suit zipper. “But close your eyes!”

Second face-hoofed.

“Now’s not the time for modesty! I have to see you so I can catch you. I don’t know how it was in your stable but most ponies don’t normally even wear clothes! Just get yourself free! I’ll catch you with my magic.”

Rock continued to hesitate, hooves trembling at the zipper.

“Hurry!” Second screamed. “This place can come down at any momen…”

As if on cue, the tower shuttered with the sound of twisting metal and crushing stone.

In a panic Rock pulled the zipper down in one motion just as the hall tipped down another degree.

Like an awkward cazadorable struggling from its cocoon, the stable pony tumbled out of the jumpsuit, wings unfolding and flapping spastically while falling to a stunned Second Hoof.

Looks like that cat’s out of the bag.

“What the hell.. You’re a…” Was all that he got out before Rock landed on him with a loud thud.

For a pegasus, she really doesn’t fly all that well.

Wait.

Why am I still up here at the hook while both of them are in a pile down there?

Am I free? Are they dead? No… they’re still moving… then what in the…

Another cacophony of noise and the hall shifted down again.

My perception flew downwards, racing through the hall at the speed of gravity.

Flower reach a hoof out to grab her jumpsuit as it fell down with me, dislodged from the hook by that last shift, but it was just out of reach and sailed past the yellow pegasus’ hoof and out through the window.

And I went with it.

Down through the gap between the now horizontal tower and the split open street below.

This would be terrifying if it wasn’t so damn confusing! And if I wasn’t already dead!

Was I going down to Tartarus? I didn’t even believe in the place!

I want to see death’s manager, this confusion has gone on for too long, I want some answers!

My fall suddenly stopped just as the jumpsuit hit the ground.

Or the below ground. This seems to be some kind of metro station that the crack in the pavement, caused no doubt by Flower’s ‘Ticky Bombs’, exposed to the surface.

Can sompony tell me what the heck is going on?!

“Is someone there?”

What?

“I can feel your presences, you don’t need to hide.” The voice called out from the darkness again.

Umm, can you hear me?

A pony shaped shadow pulled itself from a dark alcove and cautiously trotted towards where the jumpsuit lay.

Great, a walking shadow. Seems almost normal for today.

The solid deep black of the pony shape then changed to a curious amber color, with darker orange stripes.

An orange zebra!? That’s weirder than a walking shadow!

“Odd. I could swear that I can feel someone here…”

Umm, I’m here. Don’t tell me that you can actually feel me here. I’ve got my hopes up too many times already…

The zebra then bent his head down and rummaged through Flower’s jumpsuit. A moment later he pulled the odd red wooden gun out with his mouth and then dropped it in a hoof.

“Ah there you are!”

Wait…

I’m haunting the gun!?!

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Author note:
This was the big reveal chapter! Not only was Rock's "mutation" revealed, but more on the nature of the narrator's predicament came to light! But there are still many mysteries ahoof... Who is this colourful zebra? What was with that freaky mutant pony-bear? Why does Rock think she's a mutant? Will Hoof ever catch a break? Keep reading, watching, and listening for more!

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 5: No One's Home

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 5: No One’s Home

Waste Land Survival Lesson 25:
“Don’t look a gift pony in the mouth.”

Well, this makes a little more sense now in retrospect.

I’m haunting the gun that killed me. A rather peculiar way for the afterlife to work, but I guess it’s more fair than shackling somepony to their accidental killer. It explains why I kept hopping between Flower and Hoof, since whoever has this gun is the one I follow.

“You, my friend, are quite a piece of work.”

Currently that would be this, now purple, colour changing zebra.

What still doesn’t make any sense, is how in the wild wasteland was I killed by a wooden gun with no trigger?

“And I’m calling you a friend since I sure wouldn’t want to be the enemy of a weapon like yourself.” The zebra, who looked to be about the same age as Hoof, added with a chuckle while changing to a dull turquoise. Considering that I just watched a pegasus mare take out an entire skyscraper in order to kill a pony-bear, his hue shifting trick is not all that strange.

On that note, I sure hope that those two made it out of that tower ok. After watching over them for the past week, I was starting to feel like their guardian alicorn, even if I couldn’t actually help them. They’re just so woefully lacking in wasteland survival skills that somepony really should be looking out for them. Rock is ignorant of just about everything, despite her freakish jerry-rigging skills, and Second seems to be getting by with mostly luck, both good and bad.

Oh well, they have each other, and if either has any sense they’ll be making a bee line right out of Camelton by now. Which means, knowing them…

“Just what did you expect that many balefire eggs to do?!” Second’s annoyed voice drifted into my perception.

Yup, they haven’t even left the area.

The zebra’s ears perked up and he flashed a light blue colour. Stuffing Rock’s torn jumpsuit into his saddlebag and holstering the odd gun, he cantered towards the direction the voice came from.

“You never told me that there are magic bombs too!” Flower’s voice snapped back, sounding defensive. “I was estimating the explosion based on the total potential energy of the payload expanding at supersonic speeds, like how you told me bombs worked! I didn’t even know magic existed a week ago, how could I factor for that?”

There was a pause, then Hoof spoke up “How did you…”

“I eyeballed it with a guesstimated rule of hoof.” Flower answered before he could finish.

“Oh.” From the sound of it, that explanation deflated most of Hoofs anger. She may not even know how she does it, but Flower’s intuition for putting things together hasn’t been wrong yet. Maybe if Hoof talked more about practical things like balefire eggs, instead of trivia of long dead ponies, Flower may have known how many mini-nukes would be enough. Like, half of one.

Oh, the image of Rock trying to saw a balefire egg in half is just too unnerving. I guess it worked out better this way after all…

“Well, umm…” Hoof sounded like he was searching for another reason to stay angry at the mare. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were a pegasus?”

I would facehoof if I could. You really haven’t been around the wasteland much, have you Hoof? There’s still a large number of ponies that hate all pegasus due to the cloud cover, particularly among the less educated raiders and slavers. Unless they sleep with a battle saddle on, most pegasus that I’ve met keep their wings hidden when traveling. Even in more ‘civilized’ parts of the wastes…

“Don’t call me things that I don’t know the meaning of!” There was a hint of pain and sadness in Flower’s voice. “I can guess the meaning though, it’s some fancy word for mutant, or freak!”

What?

“What?” Hoof said just as puzzled as I was.

Even the zebra cocked his head in curiosity and briefly turned the colour of jade.

“Why would I tell you?!” Flower shouted, suddenly sounding hysterical and on the verge of crying. “So you could laugh at them and tease me? Or push me down and hit me? Try to pull off these… these…”

“Wings.” Hoof said calmly.

“Wha…”

“You’re not a freak, or a mutant. You’re a pegasus. A kind of pony with wings. Like how I’m a kind of pony with a horn.” Hoof then added with a kinder tone. “You fly with them.”

“I… I… can fly?” Flower’s voice cracked, her hysteria settling down at the surprising news. “But… Ponies can’t fly…”

“And they can’t do magic either, right?” Hoof said with a small chuckle.

“I’m sorry for interrupting…” The zebra finally called out, interrupting the awkward silence that just fell. “But could either of you good ponies help someone with neither wings nor magic out of a large hole?”

I heard Rock give a surprised “Eep!” and then a moment later Second’s head appeared over the lip of the hole and looked down to the now golden yellow zebra.

After staring puzzled for a moment, Hoof called down. “Ok, hold on while we try to find some rope or something.” He then disappeared past the edge of the hole and out of my perception range. Next I head him presumably talking to Rock. “There’s somepony stuck down there, we need to find a way to get him out.”

“You sure about that?” I heard rock say hesitantly. “Last time we helped, things didn’t turn out so well. For that poor pony-bear I mean.”

“I’m pretty sure that the hole won’t chase us if you throw a rock at it, Rock.” I could practically hear Second rolling his eyes.

A short while later, a long black power cable was tossed down the hole.

“Don’t worry, there’s no current going through it.” Hoof called down. “Just try to hang on to it and we’ll pull you…”

Before he could even finish his sentence, the zebra had already had already climbed to the top by rapidly grabbing the cable with his for hooves, and then alternating his grip with his hind hocks while pulling.

“..up.”

Zebras sure are agile.

“Thank you very much.” The currently orchid zebra said while bowing his head.

“Not a problem.” Hoof said with a smile. “Umm. Weren’t you yellowish before?”

The zebra rubbed the back of his mane with a hoof and changed a deeper indigo. “This hasn’t been a good day for me. First I was nearly swallowed by a bear-like creature and then by the earth itself. I normally have better control over this.”

“That was you before?” Flower, who was hiding herself behind Second, finally spoke up. The yellow pegasus seemed oddly overexposed, now that the only thing that she wore was her Four Hooves pendant and her Pip-Buck. She must have had the same naked feeling, since she was clearly trying to keep herself (or maybe it was just her wings) out of the zebra’s line of sight.

For that matter, Hoof was also in the buff. I guess that he took off his trader outfit and cap so he would smell a little less like hundred year old sewage. Now stripped of his overly clean attire, and his mane unkempt, Second finally looked like he belonged in the wasteland. This is also the first time that I’ve seen his cutie mark, which is… a bent oil drum on two little legs? Maybe he delivered fuel before going into tech? This makes Rock’s spider cutie mark look sensible in comparison. At least hers is colourful and almost cute.

“Oh!” The zebra flashed yellow. “Were you two also the ponies that saved me by leading away that monster?”

“You can blame her for that awkward rescue.” Hoof let out a chuckle, then looked back at the cowering mare. “Will you quit hiding your wings, he already overheard that you’re a pegasus. I doubt that he’ll hold it against you after saving his life twice.”

“Is he a different kind of pony too?” Flower asked Hoof, finally stepping out of his shadow. “Some striped, colour changing kind?”

“No, he’s a zebra, and they don’t normally change colour.” The stallion then addressed the zebra. “How are you doing that?”

“I’ll explain along the way, but first, I haven’t introduced myself yet.” The zebra announced in a cheerful tone and flashed a smile of pearly white teeth. “I am Colourful Zebra!”

Really? Does anyone in this desert have a believable name other than me?

“Really?” the two ponies echoed my disbelief.

“Yup! A name is just what others call you, and everyone calls me the colourful zebra, so that’s who I am.”

“Well I’m Second Hoof, and this is Ro…”

“I’m Desert Blossom.” Rock interrupted.

Second turned to the pegasus mare. “What happened with Rock Flower?”

“I changed it.” The mare said matter-of-factly. “Colourful said that a name is just what others call you, and I’d rather be called that. Besides, the other name was getting confusing with the whole Rock or rock thing.”

Zebra laughed. “Well said Blossom! It’s a fitting name.”

Aww… I was just starting to like Rock as her name. There was a sense of irony for a pegasus to be called Rock, like an earth pony being called Bird.

“Now that the introductions are out of the way.” Zebra continued. “I cordially invite you both to my home and place of business in Appleloosa, where I wish to properly thank and reward you for saving my meager life. Twice!” He then bowed with a flourish and went royal purple. I think that colour change was just for theatrics.

This display brought about a giggle from Flower… I mean Blossom. This is going to take some getting used to.

“Can we go Second?” Desert Rock Flower Blossom asked excitedly. “We don’t have anywhere else to go, do we?”

Hoof thought for a moment. “Is it safe there? I’ve heard rumours that some slaver called Cobra has set up shop in Appleloosa.”

“Safe as houses!” Colourful declared.

Safe as House’s what? Well I guess pretty much anything that illusive old… Wait, he probably didn’t mean THAT House.

“I haven’t heard of any pony going by that name settling in Appleloosa, but then I have been away for the past week.” Colourful continued. “It was a down right peaceful town when I left it though.”

“Please?” Blossom pleaded at Hoof with big puppy dog eyes, which probably would have been more effective for a cuter mare.

I wonder why she sees Hoof as a default leader. Desert could just go with Zebra without Second if she wanted. Maybe in her Stable she was conditioned to follow others and not her own initiative. Or it could be that she sees him as some kind of father figure.

Hoof thought for a moment then smiled. “Ok, we’ll take you up on your offer.”

Why don’t I trust that smile? It’s like he’s planning something…

~~***~~

The trek out of the city was thankfully uneventful. There were no more encounters with the Yune-Yun Clan, no more giant bear ponies, and Desert didn’t blow up any more landmarks. The only dodgy bit was when we almost got too close to a Cleaner base, but thankfully Zebra saw the gleaming building from several blocks away and we took a massive detour around it. I’m dead and the Cleaners still freak me out!

Desert and Second were following Colourful along a south west trail that skirted the mountains on this side of the desert. An odd direction considering that the only way around the mountains and to Apploosa is far to the north. Perhaps Zebra knows a safe place to camp in that direction, since it’s going to be getting dark soon, and plans to double back in the morning.

Just as they were leaving the city limits, Blossom stopped in her tracks.

“Oh no! we have to go back.”

The two stallions stopped and looked back at the mare.

“What’s wrong?” Colourful asked her.

“I forgot about my Stable jumpsuit.” Desert said glancing around, starting to panic. “We were actually heading to that big hole to look for it when we found you.”

Zebra let out a small chuckle and turned a pinkish yellow.

Second Hoof just face-hoofed and sighed.

“It’s not funny! I don’t want to risk running into somepony else without it.” The poor mare looked like she was torn between running back into the city herself or just hiding under the nearest rock.

“I’m not laughing at you dear Blossom, but at how fate appears to have favoured you once again. I believe this the garment you’re referring to?” Colourful said and pulled out of with a hoof the ripped jumpsuit from his saddle bags.

“Oh thank goodness!” Desert said with a sigh of relief. She then grabbed it with her mouth and flung the jumpsuit over her back, covering her wings. She stopped panicking as soon as her wings were out of view. “We can continue now.” There seemed to be an instant change in her confidence and how she held herself, like having them covered was a security blanket for her.

“I take it then, you’re also Soldier’s keeper?” Colourful asked as he walked alongside the mare.

“Soldier’s keeper?” she replied back puzzled.

The colourful zebra, I guess his name does make sense, stopped and pulled out from his saddle bag the red gun that I was stuck to and held it carefully on his hoof. “My grasp on the ancient Zebra language is rather rusty, but I believe that the main inscription on it reads ‘Soldier’.”

So the gun I was stuck to not only had a name, but it was made by zebras. After finding out it’s made of wood, I didn’t think much else could surprise me about it.

“Oh, my gun!” The stable pony grabbed the odd pistol right out of his Hoof and held it in her mouth by the trigger.
Pointing it in Hoof’s direction.

Careful with that! That kind of careless gun handling is what got me in this mess in the first place.

“You should be more careful with that.” Colourful warned, going a pale blue, clearly just as concerned as I was. “A zebra ‘Soldier’ shouldn’t be taken lightly, particularly by a pony.”

“It’s a fake.” Hoof said looking back over his shoulder, unconcerned that the thing was pointing at him. “It’s made of wood and doesn’t even have a trigger.”

“It may be wooden, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not a real weapon.” Zebra changed to a dark teal. “I’ve heard tales of powerful incantations that zebra shaman could put on even the most mundane items. Even my untrained soul can sense that this ‘Soldier’ has so much power that it is nearly alive…”

The yellow mare’s eyes went wide. “Alive?” she gasped, dropping the pistol from her mouth.

Fortunately a blue-grey glow surrounded it just before hitting the ground.

“Ok…” Second said cautiously, as he levitated the gun over to his saddle bag. “Let’s not play with the weird wooden living zebra ‘Soldier’ power gun anymore.” He then opened the saddle bag and placed the pistol beside a large clear bag containing his clothes.

I sure hope that bag is air tight. If I have to be stuck to a gun, I don’t want it to be one that smells of hundred year old poo-gas.

“That reminds me.” Hoof said as he started walking again, breaking Desert out of her shock over the gun. “On the topic of unexplained zebra oddities, how do you do that colour change trick Colourful?”

The zebra sighed and changed dark blue before trotting to keep pace with the stallion. “It’s a cautionary tale of loss and the mistakes of youth. I am hesitant to tell it.”

He looked back to see Blossom following along with an interested look on her face. He then gave a small smile.

Hesitant my non-corporeal hoof. If Zebra was a pony his special talent would be showmanship.

Do zebras have special talents?

“When I was a colt, I was rather… troublesome.” The Zebra began. “So my father thought to teach me a lesson in self-control. He whipped up a potion and mixed it into my bathwater. This special potion causes the victim’s coat and mane to change colour based on what emotions they are feeling.”

“It did the trick. To avoid the embarrassment of always changing colour, I quickly learned to control my feelings.” He illustrated this by cycling his coat though the rainbow spectrum. “But the effects became permanent when I lost my father before he could give me the antidote…”

“I’m sorry. “ Hoof said. “How did he die?”

“He didn’t die, he just got lost.” The yellowish zebra said with a smile. I guess that was an old joke whenever he tells this story. “Or maybe I was the one that got lost.” He added philosophically. “Having learned my lesson, the two of us were going through a dense forest to get the antidote ingredients. I turned away for a moment and when I looked back he was gone. I never saw him again and I’ve been this way ever since.”

“That must have been tough.” Hoof said in a consoling tone.

“It’s not too bad. Over time I’ve learned how to focus my emotions to help camouflage myself” The zebra changed to a concrete grey and then a midnight black. “And it’s great for breaking the ice at parties.”

“I meant growing up without your father.” Hoof corrected seriously.

“Why would that be bad?” Flower asked.

The two stallions stopped and looked back puzzled at the pegasus mare.

“I mean, I don’t remember anything about my father, but just the word itself fills me with very not good feeling.” Flower shrugged. “So I just figured that having one around isn’t something somepony, or somezebra, would want.”

Oh Rock… What happened to you in that stable?

An awkward silence fell among the three equines. The zebra changed to a sickly zucchini green and Second gave a sad sigh before speaking “Not all fathers are…”

“Oh, here it is!” Zebra suddenly declared in a positive tone. He was still the same colour though.

“Umm, here what is?” Blossom asked while looking around. There was nothing around them except a two story vertical rock wall that was part of the mountain range.

“A short cut to Appleloosa.” Colourful answered, walking to the rock wall, and then proceeded to climb right up it.

I know that zebras can do some pretty extraordinary acrobatics, but climbing walls?!

Then as Hoof brought my field of view closer, he was still carrying the gun, I could see that the wall actually had a row of deep hoof-holds that were near invisible in the defused twilight.

Zebra, who was already at the top, called down. “It’s a tricky climb for pony-folk, but it’s doable.”

It took several attempts, and Hoof nearly fell half way, but he managed to make the vertical climb. I think at one point he even tried to telekinetically grab the mountain for extra traction. Blossom, on the other hoof, took the climb with relative ease. I guess that gravity, even when just climbing, has less of an effect on pegasi.

Once at the top, Zebra led them up a large stone outcropping that over looked a canyon which spread out far past my range of sight.

“This is Crag Big Kraken!” Colourful announced. “Named after how the canyon below starts off as a large bowl and then branches off into several corridors, sort of like a gigantic octopus.”

“Oooh.” Desert said in awe. It must have been quite the vista, but from my limited spherical view it was all just a blur of red stone and the redder sky of sunset.

“Normally travellers would use this vantage point to try and determine which ‘kraken arm’ lead to the destination they were heading to.” Zebra continued, almost sounding like a tour guide. “But with Ms. Blossom’s Pip-Buck map, we won’t have to worry about making a wrong turn.”

I sure wish I knew about this shortcut before, it would have cut days off my travel time and I wouldn’t be at the right place at the wrong time for Desert to kill me.

“We’ll camp up here for the night. It should be out of the way enough to avoid any predators that live in the canyon, and then we'll head down into the ‘Kraken’ first thing in the morning.” Colourful finished and took off his saddle bags.

“I’ve been wondering something.” Blossom spoke up. “Where have I heard the word ‘zebra’ before?”

After staring in disbelief for a second, Second Hoof face-hoofed (why couldn’t he change his name also to avoid awkward sentence like that?). “The war. The one that I talked to you about all morning?”

“Oh! Right!” The mare clopped her fore-hooves together in realization. “That stupid thing that made this place ugly!” She then hesitantly looked over at Colourful. “That nonsense isn’t still going on is it?”

The zebra gave a chuckle. “Most everyone would agree that ‘nonsense’, as you so accurately put it, ended a century ago along with most life in this land.” Then he added with a sigh. “Although there are still some fools, on both sides, that insist on continuing the madness even to this day.”

The pegasus sighed with relief. “I was also wondering, why are zebras not considered ponies? Having stripes seems a much smaller difference than wings or horns.”

Hoof set down his over loaded saddlebags with a clatter. “Well, while you attempt to explain complex social and genetic issues with Rock…”

“Desert.” The yellow mare corrected.

“Whatever.” The merchant said, mocking how the mare would often dismiss his corrections. “I’m going to go a safe distance away and take a stab at the simpler task of repairing a sprite-bot without it blowing up in my face.”

He then made a show of telekinetically lifting the badly crushed sprite-bot from his bag. The bear thing really did a number on it when it whacked it.

I could see from my omnipresent view that he also levitated out his little recording device, and kept it hidden from the other’s view by keeping it behind the sprite-bot.

I guess he wants to keep his audio journal a secret for some reason. Well my lips, if I still had them, are sealed on the matter. I kept Blossom’s wings secret, and I won’t tell anyone about Hoof’s diary.

Not that I can even tell anyone if I wanted to, but it’s the principal of the matter that counts.

~~***~~

Eventually Hoof returned, having not blown himself up, and switched off with Desert for standing watch over the camp site. To his credit, he did manage to stay awake his whole shift this time, although his shift was a third shorter with the extra party member. Every now and then he would glance over at Blossom and then roll his eyes and mutter something under his breath.

Are you still hung up over that she’s a pegasus? Get over it! Even I was startled at first to find that she wasn’t an earth pony, but it’s not like you found out she had stallion bits or something like that.

After several hours, Colourful woke up to take his turn at watch. That’s a sign of someone that’s well acquainted to wasteland travel, being able to wake up automatically when it’s time for your shift.

Although it wouldn’t have mattered too much in this case if he had slept in a little longer, this night was deader than me. Only movement that I could perceive other than Hoof’s listless pacing was his companion’s breathing and the dancing shadows cast by the flickering flames of the campfire. Not even a bloat-sprite has passed within my field of vision all…

“We’ve been robbed!”

What?!

“What?” Hoof also asked, turning to the zebra. “No we haven’t. Nopony has come anywhere near us all night.”

“Check your bags.” Zebra said while looking through his own saddle bag. “And not everything in the wasteland is a pony.”

Hoof rolled his eyes at the correction and went over to his saddle bags. I have to agree with Zebra on this, it’s just poor manners to use pony exclusive terms in mixed species company.

“Fine, no one has been…” Second suddenly stopped as he lifted up the flap of his bags. “We’ve been robbed!”

“No, really? But nopony has been here all night!” Colourful teased with a laugh.

“This is weird.” Hoof said as he levitated out the contents of his bag. “They only took certain thing but left others. The healing potions are gone but they left the med-X, they took the few bullets we had left but left half guns they were for.”

“Same here.” Colourful said while sorting through his belongings. “Yet even more puzzling is that they took personal items of no value but not others that were worth much more caps. For that matter, our mysterious bandit appears to have taken only some of our caps.”

Blossom let out a yawn from under the torn stable jumpsuit that she now used as a blanket. I guess the conversation and all the inventory sorting woke her up. The pegasus mare sleepily stretched out, which was almost kind of cute, then suddenly brought a fore-hoof to her neck, her eyes going wide.

“My pendant is gone!”

Wait. So this thief was not only completely invisible and oddly selective, but also could take Roc..Desert’s pendant without waking her?

“We’ve all been robbed somehow by a very mysterious larcenist.” Colourful informed her. “The culprit was able to clean us out without us even noticing, yet only to particular items for some reason.” It was decent of him not to mention that it happened during Hoof’s watch.

“Maybe they couldn’t carry much?” The yellow pony suggested while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the back of her hoof.

“Not likely, they took the sprite-bot too. That model was the size of a pony’s head, and you don’t just stuff a Pony’s head into your saddle… ” Hoof’s eyes suddenly lit up. “That’s it!”

“A pony head in a saddle bag?” Blossom asked puzzled. I’m kind of lost too, with the rather morbid size comparison.

“No, the reason why the sprite-bot was in my bag to start with.” Second said waving his hoof. “I was keeping it there until I could link its transponder code with your Pip-Buck. With it linked it would follow us around without wandering off.”

“It’s too late now, the thief wandered off with it anyways.” Desert shrugged.

“But that’s just it!” Hoof said grinning. “Since I know the bot’s transponder code, we can still link it to your Pip-Buck and track it on the map screen.”

“And when we find the sprite bot, we will find our thief!” Zebra said impressed, turning a yellow-orange.

“I just need to see your Pip-Buck for a moment.” Hoof said as his blue-grey magic surrounded the hoof computer.

“Hey! I told you that it’s private.” Desert protested, trying to pull her hoof away from the magic.

“I already know that the status screen shows your wings, you don’t have to hide it.” The unicorn said rolling his eyes.

“Oh, right.” Blossom said embarrassed and held out her hoof.

Second fiddled with the controls for a few moments and then switched the screen to the map. “Got it! The sprite bot looks to be in a cave about a half hour’s trot from here.”

“Yay! Let’s get my pendant back!” Desert cheered, and then added sheepishly. “And you guy’s stuff too.”

~~~***~~~

The trio silently marched single file through the narrow canyon. Desert was in the lead, stopping every now and then to check her Pip-Buck map, followed by Colourful, and Second was ironically third. At least I think that it was Second at the rear. I could barely tell the two stallions apart with the small about of moonlight that shone through the cloud cover.

“We really don’t need to be this quiet.” Zebra, confirming to be in the middle, broke the silence. “We’re still a ways from the cave.”

“I don’t really have anything to talk about.” Hoof responded, sounding annoyed.

“Well how about I show you two a neat trick.” Colourful said in a cheerful tone. “Hoof, take my flash light out of my bag.”

Hoof’s horn glowed, lighting up part of his face, and a long matte black flashlight lifted out of the zebra’s bag with its own glow.”

“Ok, now shine it on me.” Colourful said as the silhouette of his hoof moved to his mouth. I could tell by the glow of Blossom’s Pip-buck that she had stopped and turned around to watch this ‘trick’.

From the glow of his horn I could see Hoof roll his eyes before levitating the flashlight towards the zebra and turning it on.

“RAAAHHH!!!” The zebra lunged towards Hoof, his mouth was open wide in a snarl, exposing only gums. His eyes were rolled back to the whites and his coat was a sickly yellow-green, looking as close as anyone could to a ghoul while still having a pulse.

“AAAAAHHHHHHH!” The unicorn screamed like a little filly, dropping the flash light from his magical grip as he tried to run backwards.

“Hahaha!” Desert and Colourful were laughing so hard that they almost fell over.

“That wasn’t funny!” Hoof protested. Oh yes it was!

“That was great Colourful.” The yellow pegasus said between giggles. “How did you do that trick with your teeth?”

“False teeth.” Zebra, now a sunny yellow, said as he popped his dentures back into his mouth. “Lost my choppers ages ago. I’d tell you the tale along the way, but...”

“Let me guess.” Hoof said sarcastically as he picked up the flashlight, turning it off, and returning it to Zebra’s bags. “It’s a cautionary tale of loss and the mistakes of youth, and you’re hesitant to tell it.”

“Exactly.” I could almost hear Zebra’s smile through the darkness.

As they started walking again, Colourful began recounting his tale in the darkness. “Not long after I lost my father, I decided to set out into the wasteland to find him. One of first places I stopped at was a sleepy little pony town that was just trying to scrape by. I started asking around about my sire, but the good pony folk were understandably wary of a stranger, particularly one who was such an unusual zebra. They were so wary that they wanted me out of their town by any means necessary.”

“Now as everypony knows, all zebras are highly proficient in deadly martial arts. So even though I was just a young stallion, barely older than a colt, the good ponies of that town were understandably not going to take any chances with my extraction. Unfortunately, while the skills of zebras were well known to everypony, I as a zebra was never informed of this and so had no martial arts training whatsoever.”

“Oh no…” Blossom gasped.

“Yup.” Zebra continued resignedly. “The good pony folk of that sleepy town ganged up and beat a defenceless zebra nearly to death before throwing me into a ditch outside of town. Along with all my other injuries, the townsfolk had knocked out all my teeth and shattered my jaw. I managed to crawl away and find a healing potion to help my other injuries, but my muzzle was beyond the elixir’s magic repair. Without the use of my mouth I couldn’t fire a gun or even hold a pencil, on top of being barely able to eat. I would have eventually died from my messed up mouth if it wasn’t for Ferret.”

“What?” Hoof interrupted. “How were you saved by a rodent?”

“Ferrets are from the weasel family, they’re not rodents.” Desert interjected. Looks like something else to add to the list of random things that she somehow knows. “Although, I also can’t picture how one could have helped Colourful.”

The zebra gave a chuckle. “It wasn’t a weasel, it was a pony, a ghoul unicorn pony to be exact. Art Ferret, special investigator for the E.D.A.”

“E.D.A?” Hoof asked. I’m surprised that there was a prewar acronym that he didn’t know.

“Equestrian Dental Association.” Zebra declared. “Best dentist in all the wasteland! He happened to come across me in my sorry state, but I had no caps or possessions to pay for his services, so made me an offer. In exchange for the time and resources needed for fixing up my jaw and replacing my teeth, I would sign over myself to him for three years as payment. I could hardly say no that that, although at the time I could hardly say anything, but I did nod.”

“Wait a second.” Second protested. “Are you telling us that you became a slave?”

“I prefer to think of it as indentured servitude.”

Ugh! That pun is so bad! I just know Zebra is grinning in the dark about that punch line. Hoof groaned too, but I don’t think Desert got the joke.

“But seriously.” The zebra chuckled, not all that seriously. “Ferret fixed me right up and the three years that I served him were some of the best in my life. I never had to worry about where I was going to sleep at night or if I’ll have food to eat. He treated me with far more respect than anyone else ever had, going as far to defend me when some close minded ponies refused to see that the war was over.

Zebra continued, admiration clear in his voice. “Ferret took me on E.D.A related adventures, and also gave me time to search for my father. I even learned a few things about dentistry from him. I was considering staying with him after the three years were up, but he made the decision for me. On the morning my contract was up he sent me out on one last errand, and when I came back he was gone and his house was all locked up. He always knew when something was going on.”

“That was a great story Colourful.” Blossom said cheerfully. Yeah great, aside for the whole being nearly beaten to death, almost staving, and then 3 years of slavery. Oh, and the horrible pun. I wonder though, how much of it was real and how much was just to set up the joke? There can’t really be “Special Investigation” dentists, can there?

As the pegasus mare walked on through the dark canyon, Zebra halted Second with a hoof.

“Did you catch the moral of my little tale?” Colourful asked in a hushed voice.

“You mean it wasn’t just to make that terrible pun?” Hoof asked dryly.

“No… Well not entirely.” The zebra said with a chuckle, and then continued in a serious tone. “The moral was not to make assumptions based on stereotypes or prejudices. Not all zebras know how to fight, not all pony folk are good, not all ghouls are monsters, not all slavers are bad, not all slaves…”

“I get it.” Hoof interrupted impatiently, walking past the zebra. “It’s not like you have to tell…”

Zebra stepped in front of Hoof “And not all pegasi are trouble.”

Hoof stopped. “What… What are you talking about?”

“You have a problem with Blossom being a pegasus.” Colourful said directly. “I’ve seen how you look at her.”

Good to know that I’m not the only one to pick up on that.

“Oh? And how do I look at her?” The unicorn said defensively.

“Like someone who put their last bit in a Sparkle Cola machine and received an empty bottle. I’ve received that look enough back when I’d try to pass myself off as a pony. My dark mood would slip for a moment and suddenly the all black pony that everyone was friends with turns into a worthless striper.”

“Hey, it’s not like…” Second started to try and excuse himself.

“Look, I don’t know why you’re travelling together, or what exactly your problem with her is, and I don’t need to know.” Zebra interrupted him again. “But I can tell that she is a good kid, and she doesn’t deserve someone holding how she was born against her. It sounds like she’s has more than enough of that in her past already.”

The two stallions stood silently in the dark for a moment, most likely trying to blindly stare each other down, until the topic of their discussion called out. “Hey, what are you two lagging behind for? I found the cave up ahead.”

“I was just apologizing to Second about that little scare I gave him before. “ Colourful called back to the mare. He then turned back to the unicorn and said in a friendly quiet voice, “Just remember, even an empty bottle still comes with a cap.”, before catering to catch up with Desert.

Hoof just stood there a moment, hopefully in thought, then quietly walked towards the other two.

~~~***~~~

The cave was not what I was expecting for the lair of our mysterious bandit. It was more just, well, a basic cave. The mouth of the cave led into a rough natural tunnel that branched out every now and then. Blossom continued to lead, her Pip-Buck lighting the way, followed by Colourful, and Hoof operated the zebra’s flashlight from behind.

Eventually, after checking her map screen several times, Blossom led them to a large domed chamber. In the center of the hollow, directly below a hole in the ceiling that let the little night light there was in, was a small pile of odds and ends. It look a little like the hoard of a baby dragon.

“Looks like no pon… I mean no one’s home.” Hoof said, catching himself from another social faux pas, as he walked into the chamber, shinning the flashlight around.

“I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.” Zebra said carefully from the entryway, slowly turning a pale cyan. “Look to your right.”

Hoof looked over, shining the flashlight at Desert as she inspected the small treasure-trove. “It’s just Rock.” He observed, earning a glare from the mare. “I mean Desert Blossom.” He amended, rolling his eyes.

“Look past her.” Colourful said, his own eyes focused to the right of the mare.

“it’s her shadow.” The unicorn said exasperatedly. “Are you getting jumpy or…”

“Shadows don’t have eyes…” The zebra said in a low tone as he slowly side stepped to the left of the chamber.
What did he mean by… Oh.

By the right wall, what I also first thought was Blossom’s shadow, was the translucent black form of a small pony. I guess that explains why I didn’t even see it take our stuff. From the outline of its short shadowy mane, to the wisps of its shadow tail, the thing had no colour or solid features except for its eyes. Two large, solid green, watery eyes stared back at Hoof, looking… scared?

“Yay! My pendant is here, and my soup stone!” Blossom cheered from the pile and then looked over to Hoof and Colourful, who were now at the far left of the stone cavity. Following their frightened stares across to the right side, she spotted the shadowy figure.

“Oh, hi!” The stable pony called happily to the green eyed shadow. Aside from rats, I doubt anything even phases this mare. “Is this your pile?”

The shadow’s head nervously glanced at the yellow mare and then back to the stallions.

“I’m sorry about having to ask this, but could I please have my pendant and soup stone back?” Blossom trotted towards the shadow pony. “I’ll trade you for them if you want.”

“Desert!” Hoof hissed warningly.

“Oh right, they would also want their stuff back.” Blossom said absently, gesturing to the cowering stallions. You two really are being a bit silly, the thing is not much larger than a foal and hasn’t done anything threatening yet. Sure it’s a little unnerving, but it doesn’t seem hostile.

“Step away from him Desert, we don’t know what …” Hoof started to warn the mare again, but Zebra held up a hoof to stop him.

“Blossom doesn’t seem to be in any danger.” Zebra observed. “Maybe we can reason with it.” He then slowly walked towards Blossom, who was currently trying to shake the confused shadow pony’s hoof.

Hoof shook his head and sighed. “This day keeps getting more and more weird.” As soon as he took a step forwards the shadow pony jumped backwards towards the wall, its green eyes wide with terror.

“Oh, I don’t think she likes you.” Desert called over to the unicorn as Zebra tried to calm the shadow being down. It was rather odd, the shadow pony only reacted with curiosity to Desert and Zebra, even letting them get close to it. “Maybe it’s the smell.” The pegasus added with a giggle.

Hoof stopped and thought for a moment. “Hmm, or maybe it’s this…” His horn began to glow and the odd red gun that I was bound to floated out of his saddle bag and pointed towards the shadow.

The shadow’s reaction was instantaneous. Its green eyes became panicked and its head distorted, as if it was trying to scream without a mouth. It leaped past Desert and ran along the far side of the chamber, desperately trying to get as much distance as it could from the zebra ‘Soldier’.

“Ha! Looks like this thing came in handy after all.” Hoof called out with a grin, keeping the weapon and flashlight trained on the terrified creature. “Desert, grab our stuff while I have him distracted.”

“You brute!” was her harsh response.

For the very first time since I’ve been forced to travel when them, I saw Blossom mad! I’ve seen her afraid, sad, happy, panicked, and oddly detached on several occasions, but never angry like this.

The furious pegasus mare stomped over to Second. “You do not get to bully her just because she’s different!” Then in one swift motion she struck his horn with her hoof.

Hoof winced in pain as the magic around the gun and flashlight imploded. Desert caught the gun in her mouth, but the flashlight clattered to the ground and rolled to face the pile of stolen goods. Glaring daggers at the unicorn, she marched around to his side and deposited the gun back into the saddle bag.

“Now go to the far side of the room and stop scaring the poor filly.” Blossom said sternly to Hoof before trotting over to the cowering shadow pony.

I like this side of Blossom!

Hoof sputtered in disbelief for a few moments before apparently finding his words. “Why are you on his side? He stole from us, remember?! And what makes you think that thing is a filly?”

Zebra trotted beside Second and spoke to him in a low tone. “It appears that Desert has made herself the creature’s protectorate. I think it would be best if you did as she asked for now.”

Hoof huffed indignantly as he walked over to the far wall and sat down. I guess he was trying to look annoyed and outraged, but it came off more like he was sulking.

“There there, the meanie pony isn’t going to hurt you.” Blossom cooed as she stroked the shadow pony’s short mane. As her hoof passed across it, the mane reacted like a dense black smoke, swirling out and then rejoining the rest of the shadow. Despite how weird the action looked, the shadow pony seemed to be enjoying the affection, closing its green eyes happily.

“Hey, Second.” Blossom called out, her normal positive attitude having returned. “Can we…”

“No! You can’t keep him as a pet!” The unicorn called back sourly.

Weird. After all that sudden display of independence, she’s still asking for his approval.

“Don’t mind him.” Blossom addressed the shadow. “He’s just cranky that his silly robot is in your treasure pile.” She then glanced over at the pile, sill lit by the fallen flashlight, and her ears perked up.

“That’s it!” Blossom said as she walked closer to the pile, the shadow following close behind. “Everything she took was shiny, and she put it under that hole so the light will hit it. It must get gloomy in this cave and she wanted to make it prettier.”

“That does fit all the facts on hoof…” Zebra said, sounding a little impressed. “But where does that leave us?”

The yellow Pegasus thought for a moment. “Well, if we had something even shinier to pretty up this place, maybe we could trade it for our stuff.” Desert then paced around the pile and looked around the chamber, the shadow pony following her like… well a shadow. “I have an idea, but need something that spins or maybe stuff that wiggles…”

Colourful reached a hoof into his saddle bag and pulled out a small beat up blue pegasus toy. Even with its trademark mane and tail missing, there was no mistaking the Rainbow Dash action figure. “Would this do?” He asked as he pressed the figure’s cutie mark with his other hoof, causing the wings to start flapping spastically. “I picked it up as a gift for a young friend of mine, but I think she’ll understand if I let you have it.”

Desert stared wide eyed at the figure as it flapped its little wings. I can’t even imagine what’s going through her head right now. This must be the first time she’s ever seen another pegasus, even if it’s in toy form. A visual conformation of what Second has told her, that there are others like her and she’s not just a one off mutant.

“It’s perfect.” The mare replied in a faraway voice. She then shook her head and refocused. “I’ll also need from Second’s bag a small cloth, some wire, and the rest of our bottle caps.” She then walked up to the fallen flashlight. “Oh, and this too!”

Blossom suddenly lifted a fore-hoof up and slammed it down across the flashlight, snapping it in half and plunging the cavern into darkness except for the glow of her pip buck.

“She does this now and then.” Hoof said calmly in the dark to a most likely befuddled Zebra.

~~~***~~~

As Blossom worked away at her project, Colourful sat beside Second along the far wall. The unicorn’s horn glowed with its blue-grey magic, just to give them a little illumination. Zebra’s coat and mane has stayed a neutral brownish grey this whole time, aside for the initial shock of first seeing the shadow pony, making him look almost like an average zebra. I guess he’s over the unnerving experience of nearly dying twice and has his emotions are under his full control. It’s a little frustrating though, since I was just getting a handle on what each colour meant and now he’s hard to read.

“So.” Hoof spoke up, breaking the silence and gesturing towards the shadow pony watching Blossom intently. “What do you suppose his story is?”

“It’s a toyol.” The zebra said confidently. “The reanimated spirit of a foal that was summoned by a powerful dark magic user. They’re usually used to steal things for their master, due to their attraction to anything shiny. This one appears to have escaped from its master and is hiding out in this cave.”

Well that was suspiciously informative.

“Ah.” Hoof said, sounding impressed. “I don’t suppose you also know what that bear thing was that attacked you in the city?”

“It was a bugbear, a savage creature from a distant land. They can travel great distances on their six mighty legs, but normally they don’t come out this far. It may have been on a…”

“Four legs.” Hoof interrupted. “That thing had four legs.”

“Really?” Zebra asked surprised. “I didn’t get a good look at it.”

“Well I did get a good look as it chased me across Camelton. It had four legs.”

“Well then, it must have been Ursa Bator.” Colourful continued without missing a beat. “The spirit of a great pony warrior, trapped in the twisted body of a bear, forever cursed to search out her long lost sister.”

Hoof looked at Zebra flatly. “You’re making all this up aren’t you?”

“One hundred percent whole cloth!” Colourful admitted proudly. “You would be surprised how many pony folk just believe whatever mystical mumbo jumbo a zebra tells them. Like we all have some mysterious connection to all things unknown.”

“Well, you’re supposed to learn all of that from your ancient martial arts master.” Hoof said with a grin.

“Ha! No wonder I missed it.” Zebra laughed. “Glad to see you’re finally getting the picture.”

Hoof sighed and lowered his head. “Yeah. It wasn’t fair of me to think less of Rock just because she completely not what I expected.”

“And what did you expect?” Colourful asked casually.

Good question. You met her by chance in the middle of the desert, what expectations could you have had? Seeing Hoof all scuffed up like this almost made me forget how out of place he seemed at first. Now that I think about it, it’s quite the stroke of luck that a high end tech merchant would be so far from established trade routes and just happen to come across Blossom when she needed his help…

Was it really a coincidence that they met?

“I just thought she would be more…” Hoof started absently, but any answers he was going to let slip was cut short.

“Yes! It’s finished!” Desert crowed. “It was trickier than I thought it would be at first, but once I just pictured the paths of light as a network it all fit together."

The weird cobbled together object looked to be the combined work of a mad scientist and a campy fashion designer. Each leg of the Rainbow Dash toy had one of the flashlight’s small spark battery strapped to it. They all were connected by wires to the former flashlight’s switch, now stuck above the cloud and lightning bolt cutie mark. The switch then led to the magical light emitter crystal Desert mounted on top of Dash’s hind quarters. The crystal in turn faced the shards of the flashlight’s lens embedded in the toy’s back between its wings. The wings themselves were covered with flattened bottle caps, polished to almost a mirror shine.

“Watch this…” Blossom announced, setting her creation down as the unicorn and pegasus stood beside her. She pressed the flashlight switch and the magic crystal slowly started to glow, it then shone a beam of light between the wings.

Blossom then pressed the toy’s cutie mark button, and the toy’s wings suddenly fell limp at its sides.

“What?” Cried Desert, turning off the light and examining the toy. “It should have worked!”

“Let me take a look at.” Hoof said, as he lifted the jerry-rigged toy up in his magic.

The shadow creature must have only now noticed that Hoof was so close, it was so focused on Blossom before, and it took a timid step back.

“Don’t worry.” Hoof said to the shadow pony. “I left ‘Soldier’ in my saddle bag over there.” The unicorn then added as he focused on the toy “I apologise for frightening you before, it wasn’t the right thing to do.”

The shadow pony seemed to relax a little.

“Ah, that’s the problem.” Hoof said as his ears perked up. “The factory settings of the magic servos couldn’t handle the extra weight on the wings. I’ve re-calibrated them and it should work now.”

The unicorn floated the toy back to the ground and stepped back so Desert could have the honors of activating her creation.

Desert turned the light on again and then nervously pressed the cutie mark button.

The toy’s wings slowly moved up and down, gradually increasing their speed. As the light refracted through the broken lens, it split into all the colours of the rainbow and were bounced off the now rapidly moving shiny wings. In an instant the cave was covered in flickering and dancing dots of coloured lights.

The little shadow pony’s green eyes went wide with wonderment. It even tried to chase down one of the flickering light beams, before losing it among all the others.

“Awww yeah! Who’s awesome? You’re awesome!” the blue pegasus toy suddenly announced.

“I fixed the voice spell matrix in it too.” Hoof said with a grin to the surprised mare, zebra, and shadow.

Blossom then turned towards the shadow pony. “So, do you think that this is shinny enough to trade for our stuff back?”

The shadow leaped up and ran to its pile of pilfered possessions. The shadow ran back and forth over the pile, and with each pass more of it disappeared until there was nothing left. It then galloped back to Blossom and circled the pegasus, the items reappearing around her feet.

“Well, it looks like we have a deal.” Desert said with a laugh, looking at the mound of stuff now surrounding her. “Rainbow Flash is now all yours.”

The little shadow pony jumped up and down happily and then gave Blossom a big wispy hug. It then ran over and hugged Second, causing the unicorn’s mane to stand on end from the creature’s sudden vaporous affection. It even hugged Zebra, even though he didn’t really have any part in the trade, I guess just so he wouldn’t feel left out.

It then ran over 'Rainbow Flash', causing the toy to disappear, and galloping off into the darkness of one of the cave’s side tunnels.

“Now just remember to turn it off during the day!” Hoof called after the shadow. “Those batteries will last for years, but not if you keep them running all the time.”

“Speaking about the day…” Zebra said walking over to the two ponies, “it’s going to be morning soon and we’ve only got a few hours of sleep…”

“Or none at all.” Hoof added with a yawn.

“So I suggest that we rest here while we can before heading off.” Colourful continued. “If our shadowy friend calls this cave home, then it should be safe enough for us to stay in ‘till dawn”

“Sounds like a good idea.” Hoof agreed and then walked over to the circle of items surrounding Blossom. “But first, let’s retrieve our possessions.”

“Hey, I think some of this stuff wasn’t even ours.” The yellow mare said as she looked around.

“Well, let’s not look a gift pony in the mouth.” Hoof grinned.

“Ha! A pony after my own heart.” Colourful laughed.

“What an odd expression.” Desert mused confused and bemused.

It’s an old griffin saying, and you really don’t want to know the etymology behind it…

~~~***~~~

Late in the afternoon we finally reached the town of Appleloosa. It was a fair sized place made up of a few dozen prewar buildings, and aside for the usual decay and neglect it was in pretty good shape. I guess that it wasn’t exactly a high profile zebra target during the war.

“Ah, finally some kind of civilization.” Hoof sighed as he walked along the main street. “First order of business is to find a trader so we can do business.”

“Actually, I suggest your first stop should be a visit to Lavender Rain the launderer.” Zebra recommended. “Her shop is just down the road from here, and she has a real knack for removing stains and…odours.” He added pointedly.

“Ah, good idea.” Hoof admitted a little embarrassed. Yeah, you might not want to walk around town with your saddle bags smelling like a sewer. That smell better not stick to the gun I’m stuck to!

Zebra then turned to Desert. “Lavender also does repairs. I gather that you would be more comfortable if you could properly wear your jumpsuit again.”

“Oh yes!” The mare agreed, her eyes lighting up but then becoming nervous. “But… I don’t want anypony to see me without it…” She doesn’t want anypony to see her wings is what she clearly meant.

“Well then I shall spirit you away to my place of business, far from any judging eyes, while mister Hoof has your garment repaired.” Colourful declared theatrically with a bow to the pegasus.

“Well… um…EEP!” Blossom started to hesitate when Hoof suddenly made the decision for her by levitating the remains of the jumpsuit off her back.

“I’ll get this sorted out as quick as I can.” Second said with a smile to Desert, who was now trying to hide behind the zebra. “Go on ahead with Colourful.”

“My place is on the west end of town, you can’t miss it since it has my name in large letters above it.” Colourful instructed Hoof. “Well, what’s left of my name after a heavily armed scribe took a rocket launcher to the sign.”

“Somepony that had a problem with zebras?” Hoof asked.

“Nope, she had a problem with the grammar. Insisted that there was only one ‘u’ in Colourful.” The zebra shook his head. “I think she took it as a personal offence that I refused to change how my name is spelled.” He then looked around. “Where’s Desert?”

“She took off down a side alley as soon as you mentioned the direction of your shop.” Hoof said with a small laugh. “You might want to catch up with her before she gets into any trouble.”

As Zebra galloped off to catch up with the errant Blossom, Second trotted towards the Laundromat.

~~~***~~~

True to her reputation, Lavender Rain was able to flawlessly stitch back together Blossom’s Stable jumpsuit with the wave of her horn. On Hoof’s suggestion, she even added two flaps disguised as large pockets to the sides. These pocket flaps would not only help to hide Desert’s wings, and allow her to carry more, but would also let her stretch her wings out when she wanted.

That was a pretty considerate thing for Second to do for Desert. Maybe Colourful’s words really did get through to him.

Second’s odoriferous apparel on the other hoof had the laundry mare stymied. She tried every variation of her deodorizing spell on it without much success. In the end she had to admit defeat and used her magic to cobble together other fabrics into a duplicate of the trader’s outfit. She gave this replacement to Hoof at no charge under the condition that the original was buried in a VERY deep hole in the middle of nowhere and her failure would never be spoken of again.

The next stop was at the general store. As a professional trader, being forced to watch Hoof amateurish attempts to haggle for more caps for his surplus medical supplies was just too painful for me! He must be used to dealing with rich ponies that have so many caps that they don’t even bother to negotiate. At least he had the sense to keep all the healing potions and rad-away.

Oh! I almost forgot that Blossom still needs to take some rad-away! Last time I checked her magical radiation meter was nearly at yellow. At those levels she still has some time before she gets too sick, but somepony really needs to take notice before it’s too late.

If I still had a face and a hoof, I would have brought them together so much when I saw Second buying up small amounts ammo for every one of his guns. Sell all but two of the guns and then stock up on ammo for those you idiot!

Finally we reached Colourful Zebra’s place, and true to his description there was a giant hole blasted in the sign. Only the first couple and final few letters of his name were still visible.

Wait…

Hoof stepped through the front door and into a clean and well-furnished reception area. A young female donkey in a pretty business dress greeted him cheerfully.

“Hello, and welcome to Colourful Zebra’s. Are you interested in a unicorn or earth pony? Male or female?”

Oh no. I suggest that you be on your guard Hoof.

“Huh? What?” Hoff said confused. “No, I’m here to…”

“Oh, if you’re here to go on contract with us, I’m afraid that our current stock is at capacity.” The donkey apologized with a small pout. She sure was cute. If I was 30 years younger, and not dead… No! Now’s really not the time to get distracted. “But if you leave your name, a way to contact you, and any special talents, we will…”

“That won’t be necessary Fawn.” Zebra interrupted with a smile as he came out of a back door. “He’s a guest of mine, just stopping by.”

“Oh, my apologies.” Fawn addressed Hoof with a bow.

“Would you be so kind and help our other guest with their paper work?” Zebra suggested to the donkey.

“Right away Mr. Colourful.” Fawn said courteously and headed out of the room through the same door Zebra came in by. Her slender tail swaying happily was the last glimpse of her that I saw before the door closed and blocked my perception.

I would make a ‘fine ass’ pun, but it would be too disrespectful to the young lady.

“Just what kind of business are you running here?” Hoof asked zebra once they were alone. He then lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “It’s not some kind of… brothel is it?”

“Goodness no!” Zebra said indignantly. “I would never sully my reputation by running a house of ill repute.”

Hey! One of the best jobs I ever had in Dise was working in a brothel. Although, I didn’t last too long there, and that ended up getting me fired. But in my defence, I was rather young and just over eager to please!

“Oh, that’s a relief.” Hoof sighed. “So what is it that you do here?”

“Oh, I’m a slaver.”

Well that was surprisingly honest.

It must have taken a moment for Hoof mind to fully register what was just said, since he just nodded agreeably. Then everything must have clicked in place.

“You’re Cobra!?” Hoof shouted, taking a step back.

Zebra sighed and shook his head. “An unflattering nick name that others use based on the remains of my vandalized sign. I’ve never cared much for it.”

“But you said you didn’t know any Cobra when I asked.” Hoof said defensively.

“I said that I don’t know any pony with that name.” The zebra corrected. “An understandably cautious omission, considering that we just met and I didn’t know what kind of ponies you were.”

Arguing semantics is fun and all, but isn’t there something more important that your forgetting about Hoof?

Hoof’s eyes went wide suddenly, and in an instant he had his shotgun levitated out and pointing at Colourful. “Where’s Desert?!”

“Sheesh, I’m right here Second.” The pegasus said from the doorway. She was accompanied by the attractive donkey and a teenage unicorn filly. “Sorry about taking so long, but you’ll never guess what I just got!”

Oh no… She didn’t…

The young light blue unicorn mare, with a silvery mane and cold blue eyes, stepped forwards and energetically introduced herself.

“Hi! I’m Colt, Mistress Blossom’s new slave!”

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Author note:
With the introduction of Colt, the story is now really getting started! She's a great character and I can't wait to write more of her. Don't forget that you can ask her any question through the Tumblr! Also, obvious fan boy reference is, I hope, obvious... :D

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 6: A filly named Colt

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 6: A filly named Colt

Waste Land Survival Lesson 27:
”Don’t get locked into just one way of thinking.”

Desert Blossom now owns a slave?

Well, I can’t say that I’m all that surprised.

With Desert’s odd values mixed with her ignorance of wasteland society, she probably doesn’t see anything wrong with owning a slave. ‘Colt’, who only wore only a pair a saddle bags and a large knife in a holster on her foreleg, looked healthy and thrilled to be Blossom's slave.

Second on the other hoof, was completely gob smacked at the young blue unicorn's announcement, causing his magic grip on the shotgun to evaporate. Luckily, Colourful’s quick reflexes allowed him to catch it with his mouth before it hit the ground. The zebra then casually set the weapon on a nearby table as Desert trotted over to the stunned Hoof.

“Did you get my jumpsuit fixed?” The yellow pegasus asked Hoof, opening his saddle bags with a hoof and sticking her head inside. “Yeph!” Desert cheered through the garment in her mouth.

In no time at all Blossom had climbed into her old Stable outfit and zipped it closed.

“Total sweetness!” Desert called out, looking over her shoulder at the pockets added to the jumpsuit’s sides. I doubt I’m ever going to get used to her saying that! “These new pockets really help to hide my wings. Thanks Second!”

The unicorn stallion was still in a complete brain lock and didn’t respond.

“Aww...” Colt said with a pout. “But your beautiful wings are one of your best features Mistress Blossom. You shouldn’t hide them.”

“Now, now, Colt.” Zebra gently admonished the young unicorn. “While I do agree that her wings are nothing to be ashamed of, Desert has personal reasons to keep them out of sight and it’s not your place to disagree. “

“You’re right C.Z.” Colt said with a sigh and then turned back to Desert. “But your wings really are pretty!”

“Well…” Blossom looked away awkwardly while testing extending her wings through the pocket-flaps. “Maybe I could leave them out a bit once we’re out of town.”

“Speaking about our lovely little town.” Colourful spoke up. “Colt, why don’t you show Desert around while I finish up my chat with Second.”

“Sure thing C.Z.!” The young mare gave an eager salute and guided Blossom to the door. “Come on, I’ll show you where they have the mild-west dances, they’re a hoot!”

As the door clicked shut behind them, Hoof brain must have finally finished rebooting.

“What… Just…happened?” He said in a daze.

“I told you that I was a slaver and then you found out your friend just got a slave.” Colourful offered helpfully.

“Oh. Right.” Hoof said still shaken. “Where’s my…?” Before he could finish, the zebra pointed a hoof to the table where he set the shotgun down. “Ah thanks.”

“No problem at all.” Zebra said agreeable as Hoof floated the shotgun at him. He’s rather calm about having a weapon pointed at him. Does this kind of altercation happens a lot, or is it just that he has complete control over his emotions? “Before you strike me down in a fit of righteous indignation over the horrors of slavery, might I propose a question to you?”

“What?” Hoof said warily.

“Can you tell me why slavery is such a moral abomination?” Zebra asked seriously, looking past the shotgun and into Hoof’s eyes.

“Because buying and selling of ponies is wrong, obviously.” Hoof answered back.

“That’s merely rewording the statement, not answering the why.”

“Fine.” Hoof said with a harder tone. “Because slavers beat, abuse, rape, and work to death their slaves.”

“That is a terrible symptom of the problem, and a generalization at that.” Zebra kept his voice calm and agreeable. “But still not the root cause.”

“Because, slaves are not free…?” Hoof’s voice had a hint of uncertainty to it and the shotgun wavered in the air.

“That is closer to the truth.” The zebra nodded. “The true reason why slavery is seen as such a horrendous crime against pony-kind, is because ponies usually become slaves not by their own choice.”

Hoof rolled his eyes. “Duh!”

“True, it does seem obvious, but you didn’t answer it.” Colourful said with a chuckle. “When a pony is forced to do something against their will, they naturally rebel. They refuse to work, they fight back, they run away.”

Zebra began to pace back and forth across the room as he spoke, more like monologuing, while Hoof kept the shotgun pointing at his head. “To stop this rebellion, slavers tend to use violence. This spurns on more rebellion, which only increases the violence, escalating in a bloody cycle for and against control. Only the slavers that are willing, or even eager, to be more violent and horrid than the slave’s will to rebel are prosperous.”

“Makes sense…” Hoof agreed. “But what’s your point?”

“My point is,” The zebra stopped pacing and looked straight at Hoof. “all that violence and horror would be done away with if a pony chose to be a slave.”

“Ha!” Hoof whinnied derisively. “Who would ever willingly choose to be a slave?”

“I did.” Zebra said pointedly. “The story I told you about serving Ferret wasn’t only a lesson in the dangers of generalizations, or for the clever pun.”

“It wasn’t that clever…”Hoof said under his breath.

Colourful ignored the unicorn and resumed pacing. “Since it was my choice, I didn’t rebel, or fight back, or try to escape. In return, Ferret treated me with kindness and respect. I was a valued asset, not an animal to be cowed into submission. Once my contract was up, I began thinking how others in situations like I was could benefit from the same solution.”

“Other zebras with busted up mouths?” Hoof raised an eyebrow.

“No so literally.” Colourful chuckled. “Wastelanders off all species who find themselves at a point in their lives where they seem to have no options left. I try to find ways of giving them another option, in exchanged for their freedom, which in many cases is all they have left.”

“How do you mean?” Hoof seemed genuinely curious about what Colourful was saying. He’d even forgotten to keep the shotgun trained on the slaver.

“I can’t give any names due to confidentially, but I can give general examples.” Zebra walked over nearby desk and shifted some papers with his hoof. “A pony that ran up a gambling debt across Equestria so high that he was wanted dead in just about every town with a slot machine. He chose a 20 year contract to serve a buffalo chieftain in exchanged for his debts to be paid off over that time.”

“What stops him from running off on his contract?” Hoof asked.

“Since his debt is paid incrementally, if he breaks the contract prematurely there would still be a substantial price on his head.” The zebra lifted some papers with his hoof, letting one droop as he listed examples. “There’s the griffon that chose servitude over religious execution. A zonkey that chose the anonymity we provide to escape a violent lover. A mother of four that couldn’t even feed her children came to us and now they’re all living comfortably in Tenpony tower, posing as her master’s wife and children.”

“Rosie is a slave!?” Hoof blurted out.

Well that confirms that he’s from Tenpony alright. He’s quite a ways away from home…

“Oh, you know her?” Colourfull said surprised. “That was a rather tricky and delicate placement due to Tenpony’s anti-slavery rules.” The zebra then looked plaintively at Hoof. “I beg you not to breathe a word of it. Not only would mean the execution of Mr. Goldenrod, but little Lilac has just started making friends and I heard that Sweet Pea needs braces.”

Second looked really morally torn for a moment, and then sighed. “No pony actually buys that those are his wife and kids, but no way would they ever believe that the fay old stallion is a slaver. My reputation would be in question for even suggesting it.”

Talk about trying to justify not being a heartless home wrecker…

“I thank you.” Zebra bowed his head. “I hope that you now see how my methods are far removed from your average slaver, and actually strive to help ponies.”

“Hmmm…” Hoof thought to himself. All the fight and determination he had before was completely gone, they shotgun just idly floated off to the side of the room. "If it's so far removed, why not just call it something different than slavery?"

"Losing one's freedom and becoming the property of another isn't something to be sugar-coated with euphemisms, even if it's by choice." The zebra said sternly. "I choose to use the word 'slave' to make clear the gravity of the position, and I hope some day my business model will replace the horrible methods used by other slaver, so that the violent stigma of the term fades."

Colourful's mood then shifted as he observed Second lost in thought. “My apologies, but if you would excuse me I have Colt’s paperwork to finalize.”

The mention of the filly’s contradictory name snapped Second out of his reverie. “I have to talk to Desert about this…”

The unicorn absently exited the room. Once outside he stopped a moment, face hoofed, and then briefly reentered the building to sheepishly retrieve his shotgun.

~~~***~~~

While Hoof trotted around Appleloosa looking for Blossom and Colt, he started muttering to himself and starting to get more annoyed. Most likely he was coming up with arguments to counter everything that Zebra had said to him, trying to restore his world view that all slavers are bad.

It caught me off guard too, but it just goes to show the ingenuity of some wastelanders. To take something as horrible as slavery and find a way to help ponies, there certainly worse things you can do in Equestria.

I suspect that Second has trouble when something conflict with how he thinks things should be. In his mind bugs should be squashed, even when not a threat. Strange shadow creatures are dangerous, even when it appears more afraid of him. All slavers are horrible and should be shot, even ones they help ponies you know. And Blossom… well, I still don’t know what he expected her to be, but I bet ‘pegasus slave owner’ wasn’t it.

At least Hoof didn’t have that shooty look any more. He didn’t pull it off well.

Hoof finally found Colt and Desert by a rundown merchant stand filled with broken and empty crates just outside of town.

“Hey Hoof!” Blossom waved the unicorn over to her. “Colt’s been showing me around.”

“This is Apple Bobbing, Juniper Berry, and Berry Sew.” Colt happily introduced the not so happy looking family of unicorns tending the stall. In all my years of travelling, I’ve never seen a more dishevelled, down cast, and tragic looking group of ponies. Putting Pinkie Pie at one side of a scale of joy and happiness, these ponies looked like they would fall on the opposite end of the scale. Just looking at their dour expressions made me feel better off about my own situation… and I’m dead!

“It’s a pleasure to see you again Miss Colt.” Juniper Berry drawled with an accent I couldn’t quite place. She had a dusty brown coat and dirty blond mane and tail, or that could have been actual dust and dirt… “Looks like you finally got yourself a master.”

“Yup!” Colt beamed. “Mistress Blossom is super keen!” The young unicorn then turned to Apple Bobbing. “Hey Bob, what happened with your stall? Last I saw, you had crates of fresh apples.”

The bruise coloured stallion, please let that just be his coat colour, let out a long sigh. “Mighty unlucky business with all that.”

“That’s a shock, you look like such prosperous ponies.” Hoof said sarcastically. That really wasn’t called for Second, not everypony can live in Tenpony Tower. You’re just snippy since Desert is now technically a slaver, no need to be snarky to strangers.

“Don’t let the fancy store front fool you, it’s all a façade.” Juniper said earnestly.

“Yup. I figured putting on some fancy airs may attract more customers.” Apple Bobbing said looking over the rickety wooden stall. He considered this fancy? “The trouble all started a few weeks back when we sold our entire life savings for a treasure map.”

“We’ll never see those 17 caps again…” Juniper signed. “Little Berry Sew even offered up her pet rock to sweeten the deal.”

“I wouldn’t let her though, a filly needs some companionship.” Bobbing said resolutely.

“Let me guess.” Hoof interjected. “The treasure map was a fake?”

“No, it was real all right.” The downtrodden stallion answered. “Led us to a Solaris.Inc organic foods research facility. We found there crates of specially treated apples that were protected from rotting, bruising, insects, and just about everything else.”

“Wow, that sounds like an incredible find.” Blossom said impressed. I could easily see how you could make quite a few caps off of apples like… Wait. Did he say Solaris.Inc? Oh no, I think I know where this is going.

“We thought so too at the time.” Juniper agreed. “But then we learned that ‘just about everything else’ included biting, cutting, cooking, and eating. Just about all they were good for was looking and smelling fresh.”

“And they bounced real good too!” The light orange Berry Sew added with a giggle.

That sure sounds like something Solaris.Inc would come up with. I wouldn’t be surprised if they also had an inorganic foods research facility somewhere in the wasteland.

“We reckoned that we might as well try selling them as decorations, but folks around these parts didn’t have much need for apples you can’t eat.” Apple levitated off his tattered hat, dusted it off, and then put it back on somehow dustier. “Then one night a real fortuitous turn of events happened.”

“We got crabs.” Juniper said with a content tone.

“What?” The three ponies listening to the story said in unison. Hoof said it in awkward disbelief, Colt said it while giggling, and Blossom seemed honestly curious. I would have said it too, but I’m dead and all.

“Desert crabs.” Apple Bobbing clarified. “Ornery critters, about the size of your hoof. They must have smelled the apples and a bunch of them managed to get into the crates. They’re down right stubborn things and refuse to give up on vittles until they’re all eaten. So in the morning we found them all still trying to bite a pinch those apples.”

“Desert crabs cook up really well, so pa had the great idea of luring more in with them apples and then breeding them as livestock.” Berry Sew boasted proudly.

“But our good fortune had run out.” The disheveled stallion said sadly. “We set the crates out again yesterday and by evening we already had several more crabs. Then around midnight there was the sounds of a terrible ruckus.”

“Well, it was more of a fracas than a ruckus." Juniper continued. “We all ran out and shone our horns to light the place up, and we just couldn’t believe what we saw.”

“What was it?” Colt asked eagerly.

“Some strange magic force had merged all the desert crabs we caught with the apples.” Bobbing shook his head in dismay.

Second raised his hoof. “Wait. You’re telling me they became…”

“Yup.” The other stallion sighed. “Crabapples, mighty big ones too.”

Ugh! I wish I could still face hoof, fortunately Second did it for me. It’s like there’s some driving force in the universe out to just make bad puns.

“They soon all scattered off into the desert. Leaving us without crabs or apples, just broken boxes and each other.” Juniper finished the sad story and held her little filly close. “The goddesses giveth and the goddesses taketh away.”

“I’ll take them.” Desert announced.

Second stomped his hoof and yelled at the pegasus. “You can’t just go around buying ponies!”

“I was talking about the boxes.” Desert pointed to the broken wooden crates. Hoof could give Colourful Zebra a run for his caps at how fast he managed to turn red with embarrassment. “And I didn’t buy Colt, she was a gift from Colourful as thanks for saving his life.”

“The gift that keep on giving!” The young blue unicorn chimed in.

The yellow pegasus turned to the shop keepers. “How does 17 caps for the lot of them sound?”

~~~***~~~

Once Desert dismantled the wooden crates into flat board so they would fit in Colt’s saddle bags, Hoof insisted that it was time to leave Appleloosa. Now that they were out of the desert and in the wasteland proper, the thicker cloud cover made travelling during the day much easier, and by about noon they took a break for lunch.

I think Desert’s apparent kindness to those out of luck ponies took the edge off Hoof fuming about Colt. At least, he hasn’t mentioned the issue since leaving town. Personally, I doubt that she bought those crates for purely altruistic reasons. I’m willing to bet that she has some crazy contraption planned for the wood and nails.

“I just wish I could have met some normal ponies before leaving Appleloosa.” Desert said between the marker in her mouth as she drew in her notebook.

“Oh. I guess I did focus on showing off the more… interesting residents of Appleloosa.” Colt said while lying across a large flat boulder, her saddle bags resting off to the side. “Sorry about that Mistress Blossom.”

Hoof gave out a frustrated sigh and telekinetically pushed away the sprite-bot he was working on. “Ugh! That’s enough of this ‘Mistress Blossom’ nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense.” Colt objected, rolling over on the boulder to face Hoof. “It’s a sign of respect between a slave and their master.”

“I think it makes me sound all fancy.” Desert giggled.

“No, I don’t mean the title.” Hoof shook his head. “I mean the whole slave and master thing. Don’t you think you should give Colt her freedom Desert?”

“Why would I do that?” Desert asked puzzled. “She was a gift, and wouldn’t it be rude to just throw away a gift like that? If somepony gave you a sand-puppy as a gift, would you just get rid of it?”

Second’s jaw dropped in shock at Desert’s reasoning. “No… I mean yes… wait!” He stammered before finally composing himself. “First off, it’s not right for ponies to be owed by anypony. Second, a pony shouldn’t have be given away as a gift! Third, yes I would get rid of a mole rat as a pet!”

Blossom stomped her hoof in frustration at that last point. I guess she was still trying to sneak in getting Mole-estia back.

“Hey Piezo, can I say something on my behalf?” Colt asked in an annoyed tone as she lifted a hoof in the air.

“Piezo?” Hoof puzzled over the strange nickname. Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either.

“I chose to be one of C.Z.’s slaves, and I agreed to Desert being my master.” Colt turned her head to the pegasus and grinned. “Quite happily in fact.” She then looked back to Hoof. “So don’t think you’re doing the righteous thing by telling her to cancel our contract, you’re just going against our own wishes.”

I have to admit, Desert equating a living pony to a gift or a pet is rather unnerving. Yet, if Colt chose a life of servitude, would that make her being seen as a possession ok since it was her decision? Ugh, the morality of this is too messed up and complicated.

Hoof face hoofed. “How could you make a decision like that? How old are you?”

“Almost twenty.” Colt said confidently.

“And by almost, you mean…” Hoof countered.

“Fifteen.”

“Fifteen?” Hoof said surprised. She is a little on the small side, but that’s about the age I figured. What was so… “And you don’t even have a cutie mark yet?”

What? Really?

He was right. I never really took notice of Colt’s flank before, honest, but it’s the same light blue as the rest of her coat.

“Were you so desperate to get one that you tried for a slave cutie mark?” The unicorn stallion asked in disbelief.

What would a slave cutie mark even look like? a pair of shackles?

Colt rolled onto her back on the large rock and stared up at the clouds. “That’s not why I chose to be a slave.” She said in an annoyed tone. “And I do have a cutie mark. It’s just currently clear, like my mane and tail.”

Focusing my perception on her mane, I saw that it really wasn’t light sliver like I first thought. Each hair was like a strand of glass, the shine of them all together just made it look silvery, like a thin waterfall. Yet, what did she mean by her cutie mark is ‘currently’ clear?

“So that settles it.” Desert declared, though I don’t see how anything was settled. “I’m keeping Colt.”

Hoof rolled his eyes. “What kind of name is Colt for a filly anyways?”

“It’s the name my clan gave me.” Colt said casually.

“Your clan…?” Hoof said in a nervous tone.

Now Second, don’t jump to conclusions. Maybe she’s from Shetland, and just doesn’t have the traditional accent. Her being from a clan doesn’t mean she’s a…

“The Sinister Plot. The raider clan I grew up in.” Colt answered proudly.

Ok… I guess it does mean she's a raider.

Judging by his views on slavery, Second should be having a moral freak out any moment now.

“You were a raider!?” Hoof screamed in outrage, taking a step back from the small mare reclining in the boulder.

“Nothing ‘were’ about it.” Colt said matter-of-factly. “You don’t stop being a raider just because you stop raiding. Just as you’re still a murderer even if you stopped killing ponies. It becomes part of who you are.”

“Umm… What’s a raider?” The amnesiac Stable pegasus asked, looking up from her drawing.

“Raiders,” Hoof started angrily. “are savage, ruthless, evil ponies. They'll rape you to death, eat your flesh, and decorate their camps with your insides. If you’re very lucky, they'll do it in that order."

“Wro-ng.” Colt called from her rock in a sing-song voice. She sat up on her haunches and looked at Desert. “Raider, are simply a group of ponies that mainly survive by using raiding tactics, hence the name. They use hit and run attacks on other groups to gain their food, weapons, ponies, or whatever else they have of value. It’s not the most polite way of getting by, but it is one of the most effective.”

Hoof snorted derisively. “And the whole horrific slaughtering and dismembering thing is just a hobby then?”

Colt dismissed Second with a wave of her hoof. “That’s just what some uncreative clans do as a hook. Don’t assume all clans are like that.”

“A hook?” Blossom said puzzled. Considering what I’ve seen some raider clans do, I hope she didn’t mean a literal hook.

“A big part of maintaining a clan is getting other clans to either fear or respect yours, so they don’t try to attack you.” Colt explained, lying back down on the boulder. “So most clans come up with a ‘hook’, or gimmick, which makes them stand out. Some have the hook of using just a certain weapon, like flamers or energy pistols. Others use the hook of having uniforms, could be anything from a same colour bandana to ornate costumes. The unoriginal clans default to the ‘savage raider’ hook, trying to look like wild and crazy ponies that will wear your spleen as a hat if you look at them wrong.”

I knew there were different kinds of raiders, but I never suspected that there were psychological motivations behind why they looked how they did.

Hoof looked like he was struggling to come up with an argument, but then he just let out a frustrated groan and marched back to his sprite-bot. Looks like all his black and white perceptions of the wasteland are being deconstructed today.

“So, how did you become a raider?” Blossom asked while returning to her drawing.

“Oh.” Colt said dramatically. “It’s a cautionary tale of loss and…”

“The mistakes of youth?” Desert finished with a smile.

“Aww, C.Z. already used that line?” Colt pouted.

“Twice.” Hoof called from his sprite-bot.

“Well it really is a tale of loss and mistakes of youth.” The young pegasus started. “The loss part was when I lost my parents to a plague when I was just a tiny filly. My older brother took care of me the best he could, but one day rad-scorpions attacked our camp and he died protecting me.”

“I’m so sorry…” Desert said sadly.

“That’s just how the wasteland is, it doesn’t discriminate by age.” Colt said with a sigh. “Luckily, I soon found my new family.”

“Your clan?”

“Yup.” Colt’s voice perked up a little. “I was alone and starving by the time I came across their camp. My brother always warned me to stay away from raiders because they do terrible things to fillies. Being just a little foal, I took his warning too literally, and figured I would be safe as long as they didn’t know I was a filly. So I cut my mane short to look like a colt.”

Desert let out a giggle at this plan.

“Yeah, I was kinda stupid back then.” Colt blushed before continuing her story. “I then just cantered into the camp like I belong there, went right to the dining tent, sat down at the centre of the table, and started eating the food set there. All the raiders must have been either too surprised or amused to say anything. That was until their chief came up and asked why there was a little filly in his seat. I just looked up at him and said ‘I’m not a filly, I’m a colt!’ in the deepest voice I could.”

“That must have been adorable!” Desert laughed.

“Well, fortunately for me, the chief saw it as either really brave or really crazy. Both were traits that he respected.” Colt smiled. “He played along with my silly plan and referred to me as Colt, and so all the other raiders did too. That night I explained to Chief Ghoully…”

“Chief Ghoully?”

“Yeah, that’s what I called him, since he was the chief and a ghoul, and I was a silly little filly.” Colt explained, blushing again. “The other clan members called him Rajah Ghoul. To those outside the clan he was known as The Sand Spider."

"Why?" Blossom asked.

"Probably because it sounds scary.” Colt shrugged. “After I explained to him all that happened, he allowed me to stay as part of the clan. At first I was more like their mascot, but over the years they became more like a family of dozens of big brothers. Eventually I even went out on raids with them as an equal.”

“Sounds like your plan actually worked out well.” The yellow pegasus smiled.

“No, I just got really lucky.” Colt said with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I later found out that posing as a colt was the worst idea I could have come up with. You see, the Sinister Plot’s ‘hook’ was that they the biggest, meanest, strongest group of colt cuddlers in all the wasteland.”

“Ha! Really fearsome force that must have been.” Second snorted derisively. I didn’t even think he was paying attention to Colt’s story. He then took on a mocking lisp and failed a fore-hoof limply “Like, these metal spikes totally don’t go with my leather thong! And those intestines hung over there so doesn’t match the curtains.”

“Hey Mistress.” Colt called happily. “Mind if I teach this disrespectful Lio Coh Jwei Ji Neong Hur Ho Deh Yung Duh Buhn Jah J'wohn some manners?”

“Hmm?” Blossom said absently, not looking up from her drawing. “Yeah, ok.”

“Thanks!”

From her lying back position, Colt suddenly put her fore-hooves back over her head and sprang off then in a long backwards jump towards Second. Her back legs collided with the larger unicorn with enough force to send him flying sideways and landing with his hooves in the air. In a blink of an eye the blue mare straddled the prone stallion and pressed her small fore-hoof hard into the side of his neck, pinning him down. At the same time, her telekinesis had pulled the large knife with the spiked handle from its sheath on her fore-leg and suspended it a hair above Hoof’s panicking eye.

“If you ever disrespect my clan again with that stereotypical gay junk.” Colt said in a frighteningly calm voice. “I’m going to use Mulbery here to slice off your ‘little pony’, and then shove it so far up your flank hole that you’ll have to yawn to take a wiz.”

Ok… She’s definitely a raider!

“Hey, wait a moment!” Desert said quickly getting to her hooves and galloping over to where Colt held Second down. Now that Blossom was talking charge of her slave, Hoof let out the breath he was holding.

“What was that strange language you used before?” Desert asked Colt.

Of all that just happened, that’s what struck you as odd?!

“Oh, that was Eastern Goat.” The blue unicorn slave raider mare… Colt said casually, not moving the knife away from Hoof’s eye. “Chief Ghoully had a goat slave named Billy who doubled as my nanny when I was a filly. I picked up a little of the language from him.”

A Billy goat that became a nanny goat? Really wasteland? Again with the puns?

“Umm, help?” Second croaked to Desert under Colt’s hoof.

The yellow pegasus looked down at Second and said sternly “Apologize for making fun of Colt’s clan.”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” The stallion said quickly.

With a smile, Colt floated her knife back into its holster and helped Hoof back on his Hooves. “Glad we could get that sorted out.”

“Really Second.” Blossom scolded while shaking her head. “You shouldn’t have made fun of them just because they liked to cuddle Colt. She’s cute, and there’s nothing wrong with a stallions showing a little affection to their little sister. At least I think there isn’t, I can’t remember if I ever had a brother, but it feels like they should be like that.”

Oh you naive pony…

Hoof face hoofed while Colt, who had blushed bright red at being called cute, finally composed herself enough to talk. “Umm, Mistress. ‘Colt cuddler’ is another term for gay.”

“You mean, like happy?” Blossom said uncertainly.

“As in homosexual.” Hoof said rolling his eyes. “Stallions that have sex with other stallions.”

The yellow pegasus just blinked in confusion, then whispered over to Colt. “Can they really do that?”

“Oh yes!” Colt grinned, looking a little perverted. “Some quite well!”

“Oh?” Desert asked curiously. “But how do they…”

“THAT’S IT! BREAK’S OVER!” Hoof declared in a loud and awkward voice, stuffing the sprite-bot into his saddle bag and trotting off. The two mares had to quickly grab their things to catch up.

~~~***~~~

As the odd trio trotted across the wasteland, Colt regaled Blossom with wild and amusing anecdotes about her life in the raider clan. Some of the more risqué tales would have even made me blush if I still had cheeks. Any time the stories started to get graphic, with either violence or stallion promiscuity, Hoof would pick up his pace to get out of earshot of the mares. Unfortunately, the gun I’m tied to was still in his saddle bags, so I missed most of the juicy stuff.

Just as the sun was setting, Colt suddenly stopped in front of the blasted out shell of a house they were trotting by.

“Ok, Mistress! We’re making camp here.” The teen unicorn declared.

“What?” Hoof stopped to look back at Colt. “This is the middle of nowhere. We should keep going and try and find a cave or some kind of shelter.”

Colt rolled her light blue eyes. “It being the middle of nowhere is exactly why we’re making camp here. There’s no higher elevation for anypony to snipe from, no serious cover for anypony to sneak up behind, and for the past hour I haven’t seen tracks of any critter larger than a pony.”

“And to clarify, Mistress and I are making camp here.” Colt levitated her saddle bags to the ground and continued in a cheery tone. “You can go on if you like. I’m sure that whatever yao guai or dragon living in the cave you find would be happy to have you over for dinner. Or the Red Hoof clan, whose turf we’re on, would welcome you into any shelters you find, and insist that you stay.”

To his credit, Second didn’t show how unnerving these options suddenly appeared to him. Only with my omnipresent view could I see the hairs on the back of his mane bristle up.

“Well…” The stallion started, trying to sound calm. “Having four to take watch would be safer than two, so I guess I’ll camp here too.”

“Four?” Bloosom said puzzled. “There’s only three of us.”

He wasn’t counting me was he?

Hoof’s horn glowed, and the sprite-bot that he had been working on for the past few days was levitated out.

“Oh, it’s Mole-estia’s boyfriend!” Desert identified cheerfully.

Second face hoofed. “I told you before, that molerat was male.”

“So?” The yellow pegasus started. “According to colt, stallions…”

“I’ve reprogrammed this sprite-bot.” Hoof quickly cut the mare off. “It will now patrol a set distance from your Pip-Buck, and if it detects any hostile intruders it will sound and alarm and open fire.”

Hoof’s glow disappeared from around the round robot and it began floating under its own magical power as a green light emitted from behind the eye like grates. Suddenly, the glow turned red and an alarm sounded from inside the sprite-bot as it pivoted to face Colt and fired an energy blast next to her hoof.

“Oops.” Second chuckled as the glow from his horn surrounded the bot again. “I guess I’ll have to add an exception to the raider targeting program.”

That wasn’t funny…

The blue mare didn’t seem to appreciate the joke either. As she glared at the stallion, the silver glow from her horn matched the one around her sheathed knife.

“Hey Colt.” Blossom called out from the far side of the ruined house. “Can you help me with the camp fire?”

Colt shot daggers at Hoof a moment longer (not literally, though I’m sure she would like to), and then trotted happily over to Desert. They were just on the edge of my perception range, but I could tell they were whispering to each other about something.

A couple minutes later, Blossom called over to Second. “Hey! Come and watch this!”

Hoof trotted over, bringing my perception sphere along, and looked over the mares’ progress.

They had cleared out a simple fire pit and surrounded it with stone, in the centre planks of wood were piled up in a rough cone shape.

That’s what Desert planned for those crates? Fire wood? That’s a little anticlimactic…

“Stand back.” The yellow pegasus warned to Hoof, taking several steps back from the unlit fire pit herself.

Once the two mares deemed that they were all far enough away, Colt faced the fire pit and her horn began to glow.

And nothing happened.

A few moments later and Colt’s horn was glowing brighter, beads of sweat ran down her forehead from concentration.

“What is she…” Hoof started, but Desert shushed him and pointed to the fire pit.

Is Colt trying to light th.. WOAH!!

A huge ball of fire erupted from the middle of the wood, sending some board flying while the rest ignited instantly.
Hoof’s eyes went wide and the pyrotechnic display and his mouth hung open. He looked over at the two mares and they were all smiles.

“Colt can set things on fire with her mind!” Desert announced proudly.

Colt then stepped forwards and glared at Hoof again, her horn glowing brightly.

The dark olive stallion suddenly went pale and started backing away from the small mare. “Hey now Colt, you know I was just kidding before.”

The blue unicorn took another slow step forwards, her horn glowing brighter as sweat started to form on her forehead.

Hoof tried to back pedal faster, but his rear hoof hit a rock, causing him to fall back onto his rump. Panicking, he screamed out “I’m sorry!”

A small object surrounded in Colt’s silver magic suddenly passed in front of Hoof’s face. It was the red pin from an incendiary grenade.

Both mares suddenly burst out laughing.

Ok. That was funny!

Hoof didn’t seem to appreciate the payback. He telekinetically lifted up his saddle bags and nearly threw them to the ground.

“I’m going over there and scream to myself for a while!” Hoof pointed away from the house, then floated out his audio recorder and trotted off in that direction.

Good thing he left his bags, I have no interest in listening to him rant to his diary.

Blossom sat down on the ground with a sigh. “I think Hoof’s mad at me.”

“He just needs to learn that nopony out pranks a raider.” Colt replied dismissively as she collected up in her magic the boards that were blown away when the grenade went off.

“I don’t mean just this.” Desert said downcast. “Ever since he found out about my muta… I mean that I’m a pegasus, he’s been distant. Now it’s gotten even worse since getting you as a gift… “

Colt whinnied derisively and dumped the boards into the fire pit. “If he’s holding the fact that you have wings against you, then he’s even dumber than he looks. Your wings are awesome!” Colt beamed at Desert. “And don’t mind any objections he has about me being your slave. He’s just closed minded and doesn’t understand how C.Z.’s system works.”

Desert idly dug at the dirt with a hoof and sighed. “Yeah… I know…”

Colt looked concerned at Desert, then trotted over and sat beside her. “Why do you care what that city pony thinks anyways?”

“It’s hard to explain…” Blossom started. “When we first met he was really nice to me, and that felt so new. I can’t remember what happened in my Stable, but I don’t think anypony was ever nice to me like that. So I travelled with him to keep feeling that way, but now he seems just angry and resentful towards me, and those are feeling that feel very familiar.”

Desert let out a sad sigh and looked towards the fire. “I guess I just don’t want to lose the closest thing to a friend I probably ever had.”

“Well, you have me now Mistress.” Colt said with a smile to the older mare. “So even if Hoof is stupid enough to not want to be your friend, I’ll be there for you!”

Blossom smiled a little and tussled Colt’s mane with her hoof. “That’s sweet of you Colt, even if you’re just saying that because you’re my slave.”

For a brief moment Colt had a sad look in her eyes and she opened her mouth as if to say something, but then it was gone and she closed her mouth.

The two mares just quietly looked towards the fire for a few minutes, and then Colt’s eyes suddenly lit up. “Hey Mistress, what to see a neat trick?”

Blossom looked at Colt with a smirk. “Does it involve grenades again?”

Colt waved a hoof. “No it’s not that kind of trick. Just close your eyes.”

The pegasus mare looked at Colt suspiciously for a moment and then closed her eyes like she was told.

Colt stood up and moved around to face the sitting mare. Slowly she lowered her face to Blossom’s.

She wasn’t going to kiss her was she? Whatever she’s planning, I advise against touching…

The moment the tip of Colt’s horn touched Desert’s forehead, the pegasus’ eyes shot open and she scrambled backwards with a shriek.

Quickly calming down, Desert looked at the stunned unicorn. “I’m sorry.” She apologized in a quiet voice. “I keep doing that when I’m touched suddenly, i can't help it. I think something in my stable…” She trailed off.

“It’s ok Mistress.” Colt said, her voice sounding concerned. “I don’t need to touch you. It just works a little better if I do.”

“No. No, it’s ok.” Blossom walked back over to colt and sat down. “Can… can I keep my eyes open though?”

“Of course.” Colt smiled. “I just asked that for theatrics.”

Colt leaned her head down to Blossom again. This time when the tip of her horn touched her forehead, Desert only tensed up a little.

Colt’s horn began to glow bright silver, and after a moment the glow moved down to surround all of Desert. The two of them stayed like that for several second, then the glow disappeared and Colt sat back with a gasp.

Desert’s eyes slowly went wide. “Wow… I feel great! What was that?”

“Detox spell.” Colt said, catching her breath. “It’s my special talent. Cleans out most any contaminates and nasties. It even removes radiation, which you had quite a bit of. Just how long were you playing with those balefire eggs?”

“Only for a half hour or… Your mane!” Desert pointed a hoof in surprise at Colt.

I didn’t notice before due to the glow from her horn, but Colt’s clear mane and tail were now softly glowing a radioactive green.

“Yep.” Colt stood up and ran a hoof through her glowing hair. “It’s a side effect of the spell. All the nasty stuff it takes out, it puts into me. The worst of it is reflected in my mane and tail. At least you can see my cutie mark clearly now.”

She turned to show her flank to Blossom. Sure enough, the clear blue patch was replaced with the softly glowing image of a single droplet. I guess that answers what she meant by it not being currently visible before.

“That’s so cool…” The pegasus said with awe.

“Taking in radiation has the perk of helping me to find my way in the dark.” Colt joked. “Viruses and infections show up yellowish greens. Thanks to doubling as field medic for a band of raiders, my immune system can now quickly take care of anything I throw at it. I’ve also built up a resistance to most of the poisons common wasteland critters use. Those show up as blues and purples. The worst is when my mane turns black from some toxins or... EEP!”

Desert, looking mesmerized by the glowing cutie mark, had suddenly decided to touch it with her hoof. “Hmm, I thought it would be warmer.” She mused to herself as she rubbed her hoof around the mark on the younger mare’s behind. “Oh, I think I can feel it getting warmer now!”

For somepony that dosen't handle being touched suddenly very well, she sure dosen't seem too concerned about suddenly touching others. Also, I doubt that the bright red hue that Colt’s face suddenly took on was a side effect of her cleansing spell.

“I’d better take some rad away.” The unicorn said hastily while side stepped away from Blossom. “I wouldn’t want to turn into a ghoul or anything.”

As Colt trotted over to Hoof’s bags to look for rad-away, Desert pulled her notepad and a marker from a fore-leg pocket of her jumpsuit and set them down on a flat piece of lumber in the remains of the house.

“Hey colt.” The yellow mare said from the marker in her mouth. “You mentioned that you’re resistant to diseases and poisons right?”

“Yup.” Colt said proudly as she floated over the rad-away pouch and levitated out her spiked handled knife. “My immune system is like a micro raider army.”

“But didn’t you say that parents died from a plague and your brother was killed by rad-scorpions?” Desert asked with a concerned tone as she wrote.

Colt let out a long, sad, sigh. “Yeah… I only learned my special talent after it was too late to save my own family… The wasteland really bites like that.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I actually got my cutie mark while trying to save my brother from the rad-scorpion stings he received fighting them off.” Colt slit the top of the rad away pouch off as she talked in a low voice. “But I was just a little filly and didn’t have the magic strength to get enough poison out to save him. I think the poison I could remove helped him passed away in less pain at least.”

Blossom put away her marker and turned to the young unicorn. “What was his name?”

“Green Leaf. He would have been about your age by now.”

Desert looked Sadly at Colt. “And what was your name?”

Colt opened her mouth, but then only floated the rad-away pouch to it, drinking the contents in one gulp. “Gah! I’ll never get use to the taste of that stuff!”

“You said that the raiders called you Colt.” Desert pressed the question. “What did your brother call you before that?”

“Can’t remember.” Colt said with a shrug, the glow in her mane quickly fading. “It was a long time ago and I was just a stupid little filly back then. Like C.Z. says, names are just…”

“What others call you.” Rock Flower finished, dropping the topic.

~~~***~~~

When Hoof came back he just told Colt that she was on first watch and then set his sprite-bot on patrol before going to sleep.

I guess letting Colt guard the camp while he sleeps was Hoof’s way of showing that he trusts her despite their differences.
Either that, or he’s having trouble reconciling the fact that the cheerful and helpful young unicorn is also a raider who has most likely murdered ponies for their possessions. I know I’m certainly am having trouble with it.

Then again, she isn’t the first pony that I’ve known that grew up with raiders…

…oooOOOooo...

I came to a conclusion.

All the pegasus have gone completely off their bit!

It’s the only explanation for the weather that Dise has been having recently. Just this week, we’ve had in no logical order:
-Long peels of thunder, when no lightning is ever seen.
-Hard rains that turns anything unpaved into mud.
-Stiff winds that would blow ponies over if they weren’t stuck in the mud.
-Shafts of intense sunlight piercing the clouds and turning the mud to dust.
-Where the sun doesn’t shine it’s as cold as a winter’s night!

Yet right now is ever worse! It’s just completely silent. There’s isn’t even the slightest breeze, the clouds are not even moving, it’s like the air is dead. I’m willing to bet though, that I’m going to get wet by the end of my shift.

Oh well, maybe I’ll get lucky and…

“One. Two. Three. Check. Can you hear me?”

So much for that thought.

I pressed the hoof mounted switch on my transceiver to send. “I read you Dispatch. What’s up?”

“We’ve got several reports of a drunk and disorderly unicorn making a scene in the central fountain.” The mare’s voice on the other end reported back. I face hoofed and suspected the worst. “You might want to get the sheriff.”

Foalson…

I was about to radio back that I’ll handle it, but then I had a much better idea.

“Consider it…” I put on my authority sunglasses. “Checked out.”

Oh I’m so cool!

“Did you just put on your sunglasses as you said that?” The mare on the other end of the raid asked.

“Umm… maybe.” Ok, not so cool.

“You can’t see a damn thing right now can you?”

“No…” Ok, not cool at all. I took the glasses off so I could see around the unlit buildings as I made my way to the central fountain.

Dispatch is a nice mare, and was not bad on the eyes the rare time I actually saw her in person, but had no sense of humour and you couldn’t get anything past her. She seemed to live in that radio room, and was probably the only pony in Dise who could keep it running. I guess when your parents call you Dispatch, being a radio operator is your calling.

Although, she could have made a living as a badass mercenary…

I mimed holding a shot gun up to some imaginary outlaw’s head, then saying in my best Sylvester Stallion impression “You’ve been Dispatched!” before biting down on the imaginary trigger.

Wait. Do you bite triggers or pull them with your tongue?

I don’t know, I’ve been a deputy for nearly a year now and I don’t even have a pistol…

While this is far from the toughest job I’ve had in the past 10 years of work, it’s in close second for the dullest.

Let’s see, after my first job as stock pony for Mr. Ingot (now that was the dullest)…

-I earned some spare caps putting on puppet shows for other foals while their parents were in the Winking Mare.

-Gave up the puppets and just tried just begging on the streets for caps (mom and dad sure didn’t like that).

-Connections I made on the street led into a brief job ripping programs off the remains of the ponynet.

-Using a 200 year old word processing software I found, I tried my hoof at writing and performing poetry.

-That got the attention of some rich eccentric pony and he hired me as a pawn in a life size chess game. I had no clue of the rules, but I somehow helped him win the game.

-Was hired back by the same rich pony the next year, this time as the King. Guess I made a good impression with that win, or I just grew out of the pawn costume.

-Connections I made with rich ponies in the game got me a job as a courier, sending messages from one hotel to the other. I think I even met Mr. House, but then I have no idea what he looks like.

-Hanging around the hotels so much, I was soon hired as a crier to drum up business for them between courier jobs. That all went south after the noodle incident…

-Finally I broke down and took a job working for my parents, serving drinks at the Winking Mare. After watching the dancers every day, I learned that stallions could be just as interesting as mares.

-Applying this new found interest to my job hunting, I got a job at one of the more reputable brothels in Dise. Now that was an awkward letter of recommendation to ask my parents for…

-After being fired for not adequately serving the ponies of Dise, I figured I would try protecting them, which brings me up to my current job as a sheriff’s deputy.

Well that list down memory lane was a fun distraction, now I have to face the present and deal with this drunken idiot…

“Foalson! Get out of the fountain!”

“What was that deputy?” The inebriated unicorn called back.

I sighed and face hoofed. “Fine, sheriff Foalson, get your drunk ass out of the fountain. Sir.”

“No, I’m having a drink!” He belligerently responded while splashing his hooves around.

“No drinking of the fountain water allowed until the purifier is fixed. Your orders.” I called back. I tried politeness, I may as well try reason.

“But I’m not drinking the water. I’m drinking this!” He floated a bottle in front of my face.

Before he could levitate the bottle back, I grabbed the mouth of it in my mouth and pulled it from his grip. Even when sober Foalson had poor control over his telekinesis, and right now I’m surprised he could lift this bottle.

He’s normally not like this. On any other day he would be out on the street, stopping crime and making Dise a slightly safer place to live. Who would have thought that the bars on his cutie mark actually meant that he was skilled at putting ponies behind them? Well I guess Peachy did. She’s the one who used every bit of sway she had in the community to get him elected as sheriff, while others still saw him as the son of raiders.

Which brings me to the most likely reason why he’s currently drunk. To ready myself, took a swig of the bottle still in my mouth.

Oooh! That’s the good stuff! Where did Foalson find this?

I set the bottle on the ground carefully, I might just have another sip of it when this is all over. For now, on to the matter at hoof…

“You had another argument with Peachy, didn’t you?”

Foalson shot me a dirty look. “Why don’t you make like a bloat-sprite and buzz…” He paused for a loud belch. “Off!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Foalson...” I said dryly. Although not as dry as I planned, whatever was in that bottle packs a punch. “Let’s both get inside, where you can dry off and dry out, and we’ll talk about...OW!”

Foalson had floated up his old spear and whacked me across the head with the shaft.

Hard to believe that he still had that thing after I traded him for it 10 years ago. He reinforced it several times along the shaft, and added a metal point at the end, but it was still recognizable as a pool cue.

“Oh, you want to do this the hard way?” I stepped up on the ledge of the fountain. “Let’s do this the hard way!”

He took another swing at me with the cue-spear, but in his drunken state it was easy to dodge. I closed the distance between us and gave his muzzle a whack with my fore hoof, sending him stumbling back. I didn’t want to hurt the guy, just knock a bit of sense into him.

“You can’t keep doing this every time Peachy dumps you.” I told him, taking a step back.

“It’s not like that this time. Besides, what do you care?” The tan unicorn shot back.

“First off, because you’re my friend. Secondly, you’re my boss. And third, you’re making our city look bad.” I answered honestly. It seems like every job I had, at some point crossed paths with Foalson, and I got to know the stallion over the years.

“I won’t argue the first two points, but you got the third wrong.” He looked around the fountain, probably for his bottle. “It’s not our city, it’s hers!”

What is he going on about… woah!

Ok, so he was looking for his cue-spear. I just managed to duck under anther swing.

“Ok, Now I’m angry.” I lowered my head. “When you get madder than heck, you get a…” I charged through the fountain water at Foalson and slammed into his side. “Cross Check!”

He may have been a few years older than me and I’m not exactly well built, but kilo per kilo, any earth pony can match a unicorn in a straight fight. The tan stallion went tumbling into the water, which I hoped will cool him off.

“Now let’s get you back to Peachy, while she still might take you back.” I huffed, catching my breath.

“She didn’t leave me.” Foalson said getting up, soaking wet. “I left her.”

What? But Peachy was always the one to call things off, and then a week later takes Foalson back again. He was like some pathetic dog who… Ack!

I forgot about his blasted cue-spear. He swept just above the water level and knocked me off my hooves.

Wow this water is cold!

Foalson stepped over me and put his hoof on my chest, pinning me down. “I realized that she’s just a manipulative witch!” He pressed his hoof harder, taking his frustration of her out on me. “She uses her charms and status to lure ponies in, and then just uses them for her own ends! She like some evil…”

“Cazadorable?” I offered.

“Yeah! Just like that damn thing on her…” Foalson’s eyes went wide in realization of just what the mare’s cutie mark represented. This is why I quickly lost interest in her years ago.

He slumped down onto his haunches with a splash, and then started to laugh. “Oh, I’ve been such a fool!”

“Well yeah, you kinda have.” I said with a smile.

For my smugness, he splashed water at me with his hoof. Laughing, I splashed him back.

“That’s it.” Foalson sighed wearily. “I’m giving up mares.”

“Oh come on.” I said while lying back in the water, not caring how cold it was. I think that sip I took from that bottle before is going to my head. “There are plenty of mares in this town that are not horrid manipulating she-demons. How about asking out Dispatch?”

I quickly glanced down to make sure my transceiver wasn’t sending. I would never hear the end of it if she knew I said that. Ok, it’s off.

And soaking wet…

Looks like I’ll never hear the end of this anyways…

“No…” Foalson said with a low sigh. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I might give stallions a try.”

Oh? I didn’t know that his interests went both ways also. Although, I’ve always wondered why more ponies don’t take this view. It’s like how a wizard unicorn isn’t bound to just one magic skill and… Why is Foalson looking at me like that?

“So, do you know any pony that might be interested in a no good raider’s son?” He asked, slowly standing up in the water and walking over to me. Just how drunk was he?

Did he mean me? No, he couldn’t, not an average earth pony like me. He must mean the unicorns at the brothel I worked at, or the dancers at the Winking Mare. “I might…” I started.

“You might?” He said with a smile, putting a hoof on my chest to hold me down. This time it was not out of anger like moments ago. His wet green and red mane hung down on either side of his face as he looked down at me. I guess both are his natural colours.

“Well I didn’t mean that exactly, but I… Hmmh” He stopped me with a sudden kiss.

I closed my eyes and returned the kiss.

I could taste the alcohol he’d been drinking, but other than that, the kiss was rather good for his first time with another stallion.

Mmmmm, he sure knew how to… OH!

Still in the kiss, my eyes shot open again in surprise. Oh goodness, I’ll never knock his magic control again! Looking up I could see his horn glowing dark blue, and I could feel the tingle of his magic gently surrounding my…

…oooOOOooo...

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

Second shot up from his bed roll screaming in terror. He then quickly covered himself with it.

“What the hay happened?!” Colt called out, galloping over with her knife draw.

Hoof interrupted my reminiscing just as I was getting to the really good part, that’s what happened!

“Sorry. I think I had a terrible nightmare.” Second tried to explain while catching his breath. “But I can’t remember what it was.”

“Aww, you woke me up for that?” Desert moaned from where she was sleeping. “The dream I was having was… interesting.”

Was she blushing, or was that just the campfire light?

“Well I don’t mind.” Colt added glumly. “Whatever dream I was having just left me feeling homesick for my clan.”

That reminds me, why did Colt leave her…

“Your dream!?” Hoof called out. “You were the one on guard duty!”

Colt dismissed the complaint with a wave of her hoof. “Don’t worry, I already told you that this place was safe. Besides, Third was still on watch.”

“Third?” Hoof looked puzzled.

“Yeah, Third Hoof.” Colt pointed at the sprite-bot as its patrol brought it into view. “I figured that your father was the First Hoof, which made you the Second Hoof, so I called him Third Hoof since he’s like your son.”

Ha, never thought of his name like that. Things may get awkward by the Fifth hoof though!

Hoof face hoofed. “That’s not what my name means. Also, the sprite-bot is not like a son to me.”

Colt whinnied in mock annoyance. “You’re just resentful of him because he’s gay.”

“Really Second?” Desert asked reproachfully. “You should be more accepting of Third’s life choices.”

“He’s not gay!” Hoof yelled, getting flustered. “I mean, it’s not a ‘he’. It’s not gay.”

“The parents are always the last to know…” Colt shook her head knowingly. “Well, my shift was just about over anyways, so you’re on watch now Hoof.”

“This will give you some quality time to talk with Third.” Blossom giggled at Second as Colt trotted over and lay down beside her.

Ah, with these two mares around, it might not be long before Hoof lightens up on his absolutist views. Or he’ll be driven right off his bit.

Either way, tomorrow should be rather interesting…

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Author note:
With Colt on board the party is in full swing! I may have gone overboard with the references though, using everything from Frank Sinatra to the original Dirty pair, and with all the other puns, in-jokes, and subtle gags, I doubt anyone would get all of them. ^^;

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 7: You Shouldn't Behir

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 7: You Shouldn't Behir

Waste Land Survival Lesson 10:

“Never go looking for trouble. It’s already looking for you.”

“Everypony up, breakfast is on!” Desert cheerfully called out as she carefully poured soup from an old cast iron pot into two dented metal bowls.

Since Desert had the last watch of the night, and nothing eventful happened, she had passed the time sifting through the ruins of the collapsed house. Most of it was unusable, but in the remains of the kitchen she did find some old metal dishes and utensils. Lucky thing too, since Hoof had made the classic inexperienced wastelander blunder of not considering everyday pedestrian needs when out in the wilds. It’s all fine and good to be carrying an arsenal and loaded with healing items, but good luck doing much cooking without a pot or a skillet. Up till now, they only had the two small bowls that Blossom took from the underground shelter where she found the soup talisman.

“Aww, Mistress. You shouldn’t be doing that.” Colt said rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hoof. “I should be the one serving you.”

“Oh, it’s all right Colt.” The pegasus waved a hoof dismissively. “I was already up anyways, and had some time to kill after watching the sunrise. The clouds turned beautiful pinks and oranges just as the sun was coming up, and the sparkling on the horizon was really pretty!”

“Sparkling?” Colt asked confused.

“You know, that patch of sparkles you can sometimes see in the distance just as the sun is coming up or down. What is that called?”

Colt just stared blankly at the pegasus. I had no idea what she was talking about either. Whatever she saw was too far out of my sphere of view.

Well, anyways.” Desert said with a smile. “I also wanted to do something to thank you for last night.”

“What about last night?” Hoof joined the conversation as he sleepily trotted over to the dwindling campfire.

“Oh! It I was nothing. Nothing at all!” Colt quickly said nervously.

“It was far from nothing.” Blossom said firmly. “I haven’t felt this good in… Well, as long as I can remember, which is just over a week.”

Hoof raised an eyebrow as Colt frantically tried to explain. “No… it wasn’t… I didn’t really do anything…”

“Nonsense, you were positively glowing afterwards! Thinking how much I had in me… just makes me shiver.” Desert said with a shiver, like she described.

If I didn’t know just how clueless Desert is to this kind of thing, I would suspect she was intentionally wording it that way just to watch Colt squirm. Odd that the blue mare is getting so flustered over these unintentional innuendos. From the stories she was telling yesterday, she’s completely open about all matters sexual. A bit hypocritical for her to be sensitive about her own reputation.

Colt’s eyes were looking around frantically for some kind of distraction. “It’s not like that. I mean. What Mistress means is…”

“Ugh!” Hoof groaned, rolling his eyes. “Can you two hold off on the whole gay routine until after breakfast? That way, I’ll at least have something to throw up.”

Really Second? You don’t even like filly foolers? What straight stallion could be against two mares getting it on? Perhaps you’re really one of those top secret robots that look just like a pony that I’ve heard stories about…

“Oh! Right, it’s a gay thing!” Colt said, suddenly relaxing, and letting out an unconvincing laugh. “He’s right Mistress, we’ve teased him enough already, let’s not talk about that anymore.” She ended by giving a pleading look to the pegasus.

“O...K…” Blossom said confused.

She’s not the only one.

If Colt doesn’t care about what Desert said being misconstrued as filly fooling, then what was she getting so nervous about?

Desert pushed two bowls of soup towards the unicorns. “Well, dig in. I tried something different this time.”

Hoof levitated his bowl up warily, while Colt eagerly floated hers and took a sip.

“Wow Mistress, this is really good.” The young mare proclaimed.

Shrugging at the endorsement, Hoof took a sip and his eyes widened. “Hey, that’s actually rather good. It’s sweeter than the talisman’s soup is normally, and it helps that it’s warm.”

The yellow pegasus beamed. “I mixed a can of apples into the soup and heated it over what’s left of the fire.”

Colt took a large gulp, draining the rest of her bowl, and then wiped her muzzle with a hoof. “Mmm.. zesty!”

Blossom suddenly froze in the middle of pouring a bowl of soup for herself, her eyes going wide. “What?”

“The soup has a nice kick to it at the end, sort of like… Umm, you’re spilling your soup mistress.”

Blossom relaxed just as suddenly as she tense up and quickly stopped filling her overflowing bowl. “Oh, that taste was an accident. I think one for the spark batteries is leaking.”

Hoof immediately spat out the mouthful of soup he was in the middle of drinking.

“Oh, that’s where I knew that taste from!” Colt nodded her head. “One of the ponies in my clan used a bit of spark battery juice in his moonshine recipe.” She then turned to Hoof, who looked like he was trying to induce vomiting. “Oh relax, ya big baby. If you don’t go blind in the next hour you’ll be fine!”

“I would like to find some other ingredients that would change the flavor, if we can.” Desert said as she leaned down to take a sip of soup from the bowl on the ground.

The pony that invented tables had to be an earth pony, it’s so much easier to eat and drink things when they are at chest height. On the other hoof, whoever invented the fork had to be a unicorn… What’s the point of a utensil made for picking up food that can only be used by ponies that can just as easily pick the food up with telekinesis? Were they worried about getting their magic dirty?

“Hmm, a bit of salt and spices would help.” Colt agreed. “But what this soup really needs is some meat!”

Hoof groaned to himself. “The raider is a carnivore, quel surprise.”

“Ferme ta gueule!” Colt spat back, and then smirked at his blank response. “Ha, looks like I know more Fancy than Piezo.” Just how many languages did she pick up in that raider camp, and does she know more than swear words?

“Ummm…” Desert interrupted the two unicorns glaring at each other. “Can ponies eat meat?”

Hoof’s “No!” came at the same time as Colt’s “Yes!”

They returned to glaring at each other until Hoof sighed in defeat.

“Technically, yes. Ponies can digest a small amount of meat.” The merchant rolled his eyes and then looked pointedly at Colt. “But it can’t be the major part of their diet.”

“Spoken like a pony that’s never been stranded in the darker parts of Equestria.” Colt rolled her eyes right back at him. “Can’t be all picky about diet when all there is to eat are rad-roach, rats and…”

“Did you say we can eat rats?!” Desert interrupted with a downright maniacal look in her eyes.

“Yeah, but they’re not all that tasty. Rad-hog, now that’s a tasty…”

“Ha ha! Who’s atop the food chain now vermin?!” Blossom called out to the wasteland.

She’s never going to give that whole ‘revenge on rat-kind’ up is she? If she was around 100 years ago and wronged by a zebra, we probably would have won the war with her tenacity alone.

The vengeful pegasus turned back to Colt. “Keep an eye out for any signs of rats while we travel. With luck, tonight we’ll dine on rat soup!”

“Ugh. I’ll stick to battery acid flavor.” Hoof objected, and was completely ignored by the mares.

“Aye, aye, Mistress!” Colt stood at attention. “It’s been a while since Mulberry and I were on a hunt.”

“Mullberry?” Desert tilted her head questioningly at Colt.

She mentioned a Mulberry yesterday too, didn’t she?

“Six griffin mercs attacked my clan one time. And the best of them carried this.” The young unicorn floated the large spiked handled knife from her fore-leg holster. “He took a swipe at me but overreached, so I bit down on his arm hard enough to break the hollow bone. I then telekinetically grabbed his crippled talon, still holding the knife, and made him stab himself in the heart.” Colt then gave a prideful grin. “It is my very favourite knife. I call it Mulberry.”

“Wow.” Blossom said in awe. “I’m not sure what a Griffin is, but that’s a much cooler story than how I got Soldier.”

Now I guess it was Colt’s turn to look confused. “Soldier?”

“Yeah, it’s the name of the super powerful zebra gun that I found.” The yellow nodded her head.

“Which we still have no idea how it even works.” Second added, rolling his eyes.

“Oh? Can I see it?” Colt said as her ears perked up.

Hoof gave and exasperated sigh and floated out the gun that I was tied to. The unicorn mare then snatched it out of his magic grip with her own silvery glow.

“Hey, be careful with that!” Second protested.

Colt examined the gun all over for a few seconds and then deadpanned. “It’s made of wood.” After a moment of thought she face hoofed. “C.Z. told you this was super powerful and mystical, didn’t he?”

“Umm, yeah…” Hoof answered hesitantly.

“C.Z . loves to mess with ponies’ preconceptions that all zebras have some kind of access to mysterious powers and wisdom.” Colt rolled her eyes. “Looks like he fooled you guys too. This thing is probably just some zebra foal’s toy.”

Now it was Seconds turn to face hoof. “I should have guess as much after his trick with monster naming.”

While that does fit with what little I know about Colourful’s personality, it certainly doesn’t explain how the hay I was killed by a toy gun or why I’m now stuck following it around. Then again, these three ponies don’t even know I’m here.

“Any ways.” Colt said with a shrug. “Since it belongs to Mistress Blossom, it should be with her.” She then floated the red gun over to Desert and placed it in one of her wing-cover pocket before turning back to Second. “Have anything else belonging to Mistress Blossom? You know, just in case you get the hairball notion that you’ll be better off ditching us.”

Hmm, was that a warning or a suggestion?

“Just the remains of her duster, there wasn’t even enough left for Lavender Rain to patch up.” Hoof said with a shrug and levitated the burnt pile of burlap out of his saddle bags and tossed it to Colt. “Now, we need to be heading out soon.”

“Just where are we heading anyways?” Colt asked as she stuffed the ex-duster into her own saddle bags.

“Manehattan. I have some… uh, trader type business to do there.” Hoof answered hesitantly.

Really believable performance there Hoof. More likely you’re going back home to Tenpony to feed your cat, or visit the Spa to get your mane done.

“Well that works out well.” Colt said casually. “There’s a Sinister Plot safe house just past Red Hoof turf in that direction, we can take a break when we get there.”

“Hey, maybe we can meet some of your clan there!” Desert said with a smile.

“Yeah… maybe.” Colt didn’t sound like her normal perky self when she said it.

~~~***~~~

Since the red gun was put into Blossom’s pocket, I figured I’d finally be able to hear some of Colt’s stories to completion, but no such luck. The blue unicorn seemed to be rather quiet the whole morning as they walked, barely even responding when Desert tried to start up conversations. By the time they finally reached the safe house, just after noon, I was almost ready for one of Second’s history lessons just to break the silence.

“You sure this is the right place? Doesn’t look much like a raider base.” Hoof asked skeptically as they approached the nondescript two story building from the side.

I was wondering that too. It looked like it was some kind of inn or tavern at some point, and was the only intact structure in the area, but nothing I could see really made me think that this was actually a home for raiders. Say what will about the Cleaners or your average ‘savage’ raider, at least you could recognize their bases and keep far away.

“That’s the point Piezo.” Colt rolled her eyes. “This place is meant as somewhere that clan members can hide out and rest without drawing attention to their location. Places like this are usually used by scouts or members that get separated from a raiding party. There’s a marker at the front that shows other clans that this is our turf, but your average wastelander pony would just think is graffiti.”

As they walked around to the front of the building Colt stopped in her tracks.

“Why is your clan’s marker a giant red hoof mark?” Desert asked curiously as she looked at the large, hastily painted, hoof print on a wall beside the door.

“It’s not.” Colt replied in a low angry tone and floated out her large knife. “The gorram Red Hooves think they can just set up shop. They need to be taught otherwise.”

Second shrugged. “As fun as taking part in a raider turf war sounds, I think we should just keep moving on.”

“But what if some of Colt’s brothers are still inside and need our help?” Blossom asked the stallion.

“No.” Colt shook her head. “Those red painted losers would never have gotten past the front door if any of my clan were around. The place must have been empty when they moved in.”

Suddenly the sound of gunshots came from inside the building.

“It sounds like somepony is fighting in there!” Desert said startled.

“It’s probably just the raiders target practising.” Second waved his hoof dismissively.

“Ha!” Colt whinnied. “If the Red Hooves ever practised shooting they wouldn’t be as much as a joke as they are. No, somepony else must be in there too. Which makes the perfect distraction for us to strike back.”

“Well you two can charge in, knife and wooden gun blazing, but I’m going to continue on to Manehattan.” Hoof said, oddly happily, and began to trot away. Was he really fine leaving two practically unarmed mares take on a building full of raiders?

There was the sound of more gunshots.

Blossom turned to Hoof. “What about how you keep saying that ponies should help each other? There are ponies in there that might need our help.”

That stopped the merchant.

He ground his teeth together in frustration for a moment before stomping back to the two mares.

“Arrg! Fine.” Hoof spat and floated out a rifle and a shot gun from his saddle bag. “But I’m only doing this to help whoever is in there shooting up raider scum. NOT to help Colts stupid blood feud.”

Well, I have to admire that Hoof is sticking to his morals, even if Desert had to remind him of them, despite the clear danger of the situation.

Colt slowly opened the front door as the three of them trotted up to the house.

“It sounds like the fighting is on the first floor.” Hoof said as more gunshots rang out. “I’ll take all the guns and check it out, while you two take all the crazy and cover the second floor.”

Desert nodded silently as Colt stuck her tongue out at Second.

The two mares quietly climbed the staircase near the front door as Hoof snuck out of my field of view towards the sounds of gunfire.

The stairs lead up into a hall with several doors on either side. On the far end a door was partly open, and I could hear voices coming from inside.

As Colt and Desert crept up to the doorway, my sphere of view came close enough to see into the room. Four stallions, one unicorn and three earth ponies, were lounging around talking. They all wore basic leather barding, and the only distinguishing feature was that each one had their front right hoof painted red. I guess that’s what their name refers to.

“Hey, since we’re doing all this expanding, I was thinking that we might wanna change our hook.” A thin black raider with a dirty green mane was saying. “We’re in the big leagues now, and one painted hoof isn’t gonna cut it.”

“What did you have in mind?” A short blue stallion said while taking a sip from a whisky bottle. “Three painted hooves?”

“No…” The black raider rolled his eyes. “I was thinking, since we’re mostly stallions, we could up the anarchy and call ourselves the Guys of Chaos!”

“Three problems with that.” The third earth pony, a dark yellow older stallion in glasses, spoke up while resting on a couch. “First, the higher ups in the clan would never go for it. Second, chaos is the realm of Discord and every clan that tried to use Discord as a hook have wound up dead in some hilariously ironic fashion. Third, if Needle Poke hears you made a sexist suggestion like that, she’ll make it so that you’re no longer one of the guys.”

This last point made the black earth pony cringe while the blue one whinnied with laughter, the grey unicorn in the corner just quietly nodded and drank his beer. The dark yellow raider sounded intelligent (I’m a sucker for lists), and was rather attractive, shame he was a raider… and me being dead and all.

“Ok, it sounds like there are three of them in there.” Colt whispered to Desert as they crouched beside the doorway. “This should be no problem.”

No wait! There are four in there, the last one is…

“Wait, there are four in there.” Desert quickly whispered.

How in Equestria did she…

“According to the red marks my Pip-Buck shows me, there are two on that side.” Blossom pointed a hoof at the wall in the direction of the dark yellow and black raiders. “And two on this side.” Pointing towards where the blue stallion and grey unicorn were.

Oh yeah, I forgot that Blossom could do that with her Pip-Buck. Hmm, I wonder if the Pip-Buck has the same kind of sphere of perception as I do. Would be creepy to think that every Pip-Buck actually used mysterious ghost powers.

“Thanks Mistress.” Colt beamed. “We make a great team.” She then took a small peek past the door frame and floated Mulberry into the room, low to the ground, and behind the couch the dark yellow stallion was resting on.

“Speaking about the bitch…” The blue stallion continued. “Shouldn’t she and Boot Licker be back from dealing with our little intruders by now?”

“You don’t suppose…” The black earth pony said nervously. “That it’s the Plot, do you?”

“Can’t be, Boot said that they had a little filly with them.” The pony in glasses said with a wave of his hoof. “Besides, all of the Sinister Plot were taken to the Cleaners months ago.”

“You better be right.” The black raider said uneasily. “I have no interest in getting my rump rammed by one of those freaks.”

“Oh, I doubt you boys would have to worry about that.” Colt said in a sultry voice as she entered into the room, swishing her tail slowly.

Wow. While she was a little too young to pull off the seduction act, at least in my opinion, Colt sure caught them off guard.

“None of my clan would waste their time plowing the likes of you.” The light blue mare continued as her horn glowed faintly. “They might catch a nasty disease, like red-hoof, or something.

“Who in the hoof is this?” The blue earth pony said as he set his bottle of whisky down on a table.

“I’m Colt of the Sinister Plot.” Colt purred as she flicked her tail past the face of the sitting dark yellow raider. “And I guess I’ll just have to buck with you myself.”

The raider in glasses raised an eyebrow at this, but then his eyes went wide as Colt’s back legs suddenly bucked backwards, smashing into his cute face. What a waste.

At the same moment, Colt’s knife flew out from behind the couch and sliced deeply across the neck of the black pony. He barely let out a gurgle before dropping to the floor.

The two ponies on the other side of the room took half a second to process what just happened, which gave Colt just enough time to telekinetically fling Mulberry across the room and embed it into the blue raider’s skull.

The grey unicorn raider floated up a nearby shotgun and Colt dove behind the couch for cover just as he began to opened fire. If the dark yellow raider on the couch wasn’t already dead from Colt’s buck, he certainly was now.

The glow of Colt’s horn and around her knife grew brighter, but the blade remained stuck inside the blue raider’s face. After nearly lifting the raider’s whole head up, the silvery glow switched to surround the nearby whisky bottle.

“Hey now, calm down.” Colt popped her head up from behind the couch. “Have a drink!”

Before the grey raider could get another shot off, the whisky bottle flew across the room and smashed into his horn. The impact, and getting glass and whisky in his eyes I bet, caused the stallion to lose his magic grip on the shotgun.

Colt leapt out from behind the couch and tackled the stallion onto his back, much like what she did to Second yesterday. This time though, one of her back hooves landed firmly on his crotch and both her fore-hooves pressed deeply into his neck. The Red Hoof raider struggled desperately to breath for several horrible seconds before falling limp. I don’t know if he’s dead or just unconscious, but Second certainly got off easy that other time.

Taking a moment to look at her hoof work, Colt walked over to the dead blue raider. “And that’s…” She bent over and grabbed the handle of her knife, spikes out, in her mouth. Putting her forehooves on the dead body, she wrenched the blade out of the pony’s face with a disgusting sound, then floated it up beside her. “The other reason you don’t want the Sinister Plot bucking with you.”

“COLT!” Desert called out.

Oh no! I was focusing so much on the fight that I wasn’t paying attention to Blossom…

“It’s ok Mistress. You can come…” Colt turned to see that a large unicorn stallion was holding the yellow mare hostage with a revolver pointed at her head.

“Impressive work Plotter.” The red stallion said in a deep voice. “Now toss that rad-hog sticker to the ground or your little friend here gets a few extra orifices.”

“Fat chance Hoofy. I can kill you before you even know you’re dead.” Colt replied in a dangerous low voice. Wait, that threat doesn’t even make any sense.

“Do it Colt!” Desert said in a scared voice as the gun pressed harder against the side of her head.

Colt let out a growl of frustration. “Yes, Mistress…” and stopped the magic round the knife, letting it clatter to the ground.

“Stupid move, Plotter.” The stallion said with a sneer as he turned the revolver towards colt.

“NO!” Blossom called out as she spread her wings, knocking the raider stallion aside just as he fired.

The bullet tore right through Colt’s chest at an angle and came out through her shoulder, dropping her to the ground.

Desert ran from the stunned stallion and knelt on the floor by Colt, pressing a hoof to the chest wound to slow the bleeding.

“Heh, a pegasus eh?” The Red Hoof raider sneered as he walked over to the two mares. “I’m going to have fun with you. Maybe the Plotter bitch too if she doesn’t bleed out by the time I’m done.”

The hay you will! ARRG! If I was alive, you wouldn’t be!

Where the hoof is Hoof?

“Since that would only take you 30 seconds, I think I can last that long.” Colt sneered as blood dripped from her mouth. “But you’re not going to get the chance.”

The blue mare’s horn glowed weakly as her magic surrounded Mulberry.

The red stallion brought his painted hoof (what’s the point if it’s already red?) down on the flat part of the knife.

Colt grunted as the glow around her horn grew stronger.

“What’s wrong Plotter?” the stallion grinned as he continued to stand on the knife. “Your magic not strong enough to lift the Red Hoof?”

“It’s strong enough to lift a shotgun.” Colt grunted in pain.

“Well too bad my Red Hoof is heavier than a…”

CLICK

The red stallion turned his head to see the grey unicorn’s shotgun floating right at his face in a silvery glow.

“You’ve been Dispatched!” Colt grunted in a terrible Sylvester Stallion impression.

BANG

The stallion’s head was blasted apart in a horribly satisfying way. Now Blossom just needs to find some kind of healing…

Did Colt just quote me?

I’ve never told anyone about my idea of Dispatch being a badass mercenary, and I was just thinking about that last night. No way could this be a coincidence…

“Why did you drop Mulberry?” Blossom asked Colt as she tried to stop the shoulder wound from bleeding with her other hoof, tears begging to well up in her eyes.

Oh, right! Focus on critically injured mare first, mysteries of the afterlife can wait.

“You ordered me to do it, Mistress. I had to follow your command.” Colt said weakly.

“I meant for you to do the whole ‘kill him before he knows he’s dead’ thing!”

Colt looked wide eyed at the yellow pegasus for a moment before giving a little laugh. “Sorry Mistress, my mistake.” Her laugh was cut short as she coughed up blood.

“Hold on!” Blossom pleaded. “I’ll see if we have any healing items.”

After dumping out the contents of Colt’s saddle bags, Desert turned back to the already paling blue mare. “No good, Second must have all out healing stuff.”

“That’s a bloody stupid idea.” Colt grunted weakly

I agree! One of my Waste Land Survival Lesson even addresses that.

“This will have to do for now.” Blossom said quickly as she took the remains of her old Duster and started tearing it into strips. With the help of Colt’s fading magic, she started to wrap the strips around the wounds.

~~~***~~~

“Wait here and I’ll go find Second!” Desert said as she finished binding the blue mare tight enough to slow the bleeding a little, and then galloped out of the room.

As she ran towards the stairs, the sound of a high pitched shriek came from a room at the other end of the hall, followed by loud wet explosion.

“Second!” Blossom called out.

Oh be fair to the stallion! His screams are not that high pitched. That sounded more like a little filly.

Blossom buck open the door of that room the scream came from.

There was blood everywhere!

Gore dripped from the ceiling, fragments of bones were embedded into the floor, and scraps of hide were splattered against the far wall.

Ugh! This room really makes me hate this omnipresent perspective!

There was no scorch marks or signs what could have done this, but all the pony bits spread out from a centre point in a cone like pattern. It looked like someone blew up a pony like a grenade, not with a grenade, but the pony itself was the grenade.

At the far end of the room, where the pony explosion looks to have originated, was a small cream coloured filly with a lavender mane. She was facing away from the blast with a blank look of horror in her eyes. The only blood on her was around her hindquarters.

Just what the hay happened in here?!

“Oh, hi.” Blossom said in a friendly voice. “Do you have any healing items?”

DOES NOTHING FAZE THIS MARE?!

The little filly turned around in surprise at Blossom.

“Or have you seen my friend Second Hoof? He’s a stallion, dark olive coat, average height?” Just then a bloody chunk of lavender skin fell from the ceiling, landing in front of Desert’s hooves. “Oh good, this wasn’t him.” The stable pony sighed in relief.

The filly seemed to finally snap out of her shock and began to look frantically around the room. Her little horn then glowed as a nearby tiny set of bloody saddle bags were lifter in the same golden glow. She quickly levitated them to herself and placed them across her back, covering her little wings, but the bags were so slick with blood that they just slipped off.

Wait.

What?!

“Oh, you don’t need to hide your wings from me.” Desert said quickly, and stretched her wings out from under the side pocket flaps of her jumpsuit. “See? I’m a pegasus too.” She then added cheerfully “We can be pegasisters!”

Umm, Desert. She’s not a pegasus. That’s an alicorn!

How can an alicorn be here? There are no other alicorns, Celestia and Luna were the last ones, and they died a hundred years ago!

Suddenly two stallions ran into the room, sliding to a sudden stop on the blood covered floor.

One of them was a tall, lanky, purple unicorn with a midnight blue mane. He wore a simple brown jacket with several pockets and a badge with the silhouette of a running pony on each shoulder. He didn’t look that old, mid twenty-ish, but there were stray strands of silver hair running through his mane and tail. Also, he wore a wide jewel covered ring on his horn, and his cutie mark was of a bold green arrowhead.

The other was rather the opposite. He was a short, stocky, brass coloured earth pony with… no mane? Strange. He wore black leather barding, which looked like it was reinforced in several places, and had an emblem of a white hoof print inside a circle on the chest. On his left forehoof was what looked like an old shackle, without the chain, and his cutie mark was…

He didn’t even have one.

Wait, he didn’t have a brass coloured coat, that was his tanned skin. This pony is really, really, bald! No wonder I couldn’t see his cutie mark, they only form on a pony’s coat.

Neither of them had red paint on their hooves, so I at least they’re not more raiders.

This day just keeps getting more and more weird.

“Celly, are you all right?” The Tall unicorn asked, looking around at the state of the room.

“Yeah.” The filly said with a nod. “A raider came out of nowhere and grabbed me from behind. I just reacted without thinking and…” The alicorn filly suddenly stopped when she looked over at Desert, who still had her wings out and was staring wide eyed at the bald pony, finished in an exaggerated foal-like voice. “An I wus so ascared that I don’t know wut happened next.”

The bald stallion face hoofed with a groan. “Can the filly act Celly. The mare already saw your wings, and I doubt she’s much of a threat to us. Remember that talk we had about the importance of honesty?”

“Hottest tea? Mmm that sounds good right about now.” Colt’s voice slurred as she staggered into the room. Her mane, tail, and cutie mark were now a pale yellow.

The lanky unicorn looked down at the blue mare. “You shouldn’t be up so quickly.”

“Ah, can’t rest. Ah need to find my mississterest.” Colt responded. “She’s a pweety yellow pegasuasus.”

“No, I mean that you shouldn’t even be able to stand yet, those potions don’t work that fast.” The purple unicorn said in confusion.

Desert finally pulled her attention away from the bald pony and noticed that her young slave was in the room. “Colt! You’re ok!”

Yeah, ok, other than apparently drunk off her flank.

“Oh! Thar you are misstersses!” Colt smiled at the pegasus, and then she must have noticed the alicorn filly, who I gather is named Celly. “Ooh! You founds an alicon!”

Colt stumbled towards the filly, rambling excitedly. “You’re just like the goddesessess. Are you a princess too? I’d love to comb your hair, it’s so beautiful! Can I be your best friend? Your wings are so pretty. Let’s fly to your castle, you can light the way!”

Celly took a step back and looked at the inebriated mare, most likely trying to process what the hay she just said. “uhh, Sure…”

“Spectacular!” Colt declared, and then passed out.

“You gave her one of Confection’s special healing potions didn’t you?” Celly said in a dry tone to the tall stallion.

“Two actually.” The stallion replied sheepishly. “We found her in another room, surrounded by dead Red Hooves, and bleeding out quickly. Since she didn’t have a red hoof, we figured that she wasn’t a raider.” Reasonable assumption, but technically wrong… “Then we heard you scream, so we left two bottles with her. She lost a lot of blood, but they shouldn’t have worked so fast, or so strongly.”

“What’s so special about those potions?” Desert asked, staring again at the bald stallion.

Heh, I think I now have an idea why Blossom’s wings are still extended like that. Settle down filly, you could put an eye out with one of those.

“Confection, the mare that makes them up, adds a rather sizable amount of alcohol to the mixture.” The tall pony answered. “I take it that you’re the pony she was looking for?”

Desert nodded absently, and then her ears suddenly perked up. “Oh! I was also with a stallion named Second hoof, dark olive coat, average height. Have you seen him?”

“Yeah, we met him down stairs.” The bald pony replied. “He saved our flanks. We were pinned down in the kitchen behind a table by some crazed foul mouthed raider and her filly who were armed to the teeth. Then this stallion just strolls in dual wielding a shotgun and rifle like they were nothing and takes the mare out. He didn’t kill the filly though, just sent her running with a warning shot across the flank. Not many ponies would give a raider foal a second chance like that.”

Hard to picture Hoof being heroic like that. More likely he stumbled on them by mistake, got a lucky shot on the mare and then just missed the filly. Desert didn’t argue the point though. Mainly since her eyes were glossed over ever since the bald pony mentioned Hoof saving ‘his flank’.

“Then, while helping us make sure the rest of the ground floor was clear, he came across an old memory orb.” The bald pony continued. “For some reason he thought that it was a fine time, being in a raider base and all, to check out what was inside. Kind of a strange friend you have there, dispensing with raiders like it was nothing one moment, and then sticking his head into orbs like a fool the next.”

Now that sounds a lot more like the Second Hoof I know.

“Must have been a rather interesting orb.” The tall stallion chuckled. “We waited a few minutes for him to come out of it, but then we noticed that he getting rather… excited by whatever the memory was. So we let him have his privacy.”

Oh my… I wonder if the contents of that orb were…

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

Second’s scream echoed from down stairs, sounding a lot like the scream he woke up with last night.

~~~***~~~

After Celly levitated the still sleeping Colt down stairs, all the ponies met up with a still shaken Second in the kitchen, and proper introductions were exchanged while Desert started setting up her soup talisman.

Turns out that the bald pony with skin like brass is named Brass Tacks, and the tall pony with the midnight blue and silver mane is called Star Mane. They must have had some unimaginative parents.

“I can’t believe that you’re really an alicorn. Where are you from? Are there others like you?” Second asked Celly in amazement. He seemed to be even more interested in her than Desert was of Brass. I’m just glad that it doesn’t seem to be for the same reason. She may be an alicorn, but she’s still a foal!

“I have no Idea.” Celly said with a sigh. “I don’t have any memories of where I came from or how I got here. I’m actually travelling with Brass and Star to try and find out about my past.”

“Hey, you’re just like me.” Desert chimed in. “I don’t have any memories of my past either.”

“It’s nothing like you Desert.” Hoof snapped back. “Celly’s actually trying to recover her lost memories, like any normal pony would do.”

“Desert?” Star Mane asked. “I thought her name was Mistress.”

Oh, I bet she would swoon if Brass called her that.

“No, that’s just what Colt calls her.” Second waved his hoof dismissively. “She’s calling herself Desert Blo..”

“Actually…” Desert interrupted, blushing a little and facing Brass Tacks. “My real name is Lemon Zest.”

“Lemon Frisk?” Colt asked groggily, finally waking up. Her mane and cutie mark had faded back to clear.

“No, Zest.” The yellow pegasus corrected.

“Not this again.” Second groaned and buried his face in his hooves.

I sort of agree. All of this name changing is getting a little confusing.

“I mean it this time.” Lemon protested. “Brass said that honesty is important, and that’s honestly what my name is. My Pip-Buck told me so.”

Well, I hope that means she plans to stick to it. It’s a little unoriginal for a yellow pony to be called Lemon, but I guess it fits better than Rock Flower.

“Well I think it’s a pretty name Mistress.” Colt gave a weak smile and then groaned. “Ugh, my head. Just what was in those healing potions? Last thing I member was seeing little alicorns.”

“Just for the record.” Celly said with a smirk to Colt. “I’m not a princess, and I don’t have a castle. At least, I don’t think so.”

Colt covered her head with her hooves, not that it did much good, she was blushing up to her ears. “Nearly killed by a Red Hoof, acted like an idiot in front of a real live alicorn, and topped off by a hangover. How could this day get worse?”

“Hey, at least you’re alive.” Star said with a smile.

“Yeah.” Colt lifted her head up and looked over to Star Mane and Brass Tacks. “I somewhat recall that I have you two to thank for…” She stopped suddenly with a look of absolute terror on her face. “CLEANER!!!”

In an instant Colt was leaping across the kitchen towards Brass Tacks, Mulberry already unsheathed and flying ahead of her. The look on her face was no of total rage and hate.

A golden glow surrounded her and she stopped in midair, the tip of her knife almost touching the bald pony’s nose.

Star Mane exhaled sharply. “Nice catch Celly.”

Brass, who didn’t even flinch when Colt attacked, just looked the blue mare in the eyes, and said in a deadly serious tone. “I am not a cleaner.”

Colt just struggled and raged, trying to move in the magic glow that held her.

“COLT!” Zest said in a scolding tone. “Brass is our friend. You’re not allowed to attack him!”

With that order the fire in Colt’s eyes died down and she seemed to deflate. “Yes Mistress.” She finally said.

What a weird turn of events. Why in Equestria did Colt think Brass was a Cleaner?

Seeing that the situation was resolved, Celly lowered Colt down to the ground and released her magical grip on her. That was some rather impressive levitation for a little filly, maybe it’s an alicorn thing.

Colt just walked over to a corner and sat on her haunches, muttering to herself.

“Don’t worry about it.” Second waved his hoof dismissively while addressing Brass. “She threatened to kill me twice yesterday.” He then turned back to Celly. “No memory huh? So I guess you can’t shed any light on the Four Hooves group?”

“Wasn’t that the group running the fighting tournament you won a few years back?” Star asked Celly.

“No, that was the Clover Hooves society.” Celly shook her head. “What a waste of time that was. They couldn’t fulfill my wish of telling me who I am.”

Brass gave a chuckle. “I heard that after your match they added a rule that it’s now illegal to pick the whole top of the tower and drop it on your opponent.”

“The Four Hooves group equinitarian organization designed to maintain public moral for most of the war.” Celly explained to her two friends. “It was run by a representative of each of the four kinds of ponies.” She then turned back to Hoof. “And no, as far as I was able to uncover, I wasn’t the alicorn member.”

“Colour me impressed.” Second said in awe. “Very few ponies these days know anything about the group.”

“For a while it was my main lead to who I was.” Celly sighed. “There’s no record of me in any orb, data file, or terminal in all of Equestria. The same was true of the Four Hooves alicorn, so it looked like a strong possibly. But after a decade of following leads, I’ve determined that it had to have been a full grown alicorn, if there was one at all.”

“Hmm, That would make sense…” Hoof thought, and then looked puzzled. “Wait, you searched for a decade? How old are you?”

“I’ll skip the joke about never asking a mare her age.” Celly rolled her eyes. “My memory goes back about 50 years, and I’ve been trying to find out who I am for the last half of that, anything before is a white blur.”

Wow, she’s nearly as old as I am. Shame she looks like a filly…

“You look good for your age.” Zest said earnestly.

“Thanks.” Celly chuckled. “So Second, what made you ask about the Four Hooves group? Most ponies ask if I’m related to the princesses first.”

“Oh, it’s just relates to a theory I’m working on. The pegasus of many names over there…” Second pointed a hoof at Zest. “Somehow has a founding member medallion of the Four Hooves Group.”

Zest pulled out the medallion from under her jumpsuit and proudly showed it off to Brass.

“And I… umm… recently came across another historical artifact relating to the group.” Hoof said a little embarrassed as Star Mane tried to stifle a laugh. “You being part of the group would have gone a long way towards proving my theory.”

Colt seemed to be thoroughly disinterested in all the academic talk, and floated out of her saddle bags a small bottle filled with a clear liquid.

“Umm, what is that?” Star mane asked, pointing to the round bottle.

“It’s water.” Colt said with a glare. “For my hangover.”

“It’s in one of Confection’s healing potion bottles…” The purple unicorn observed.

Wait. Did she use her detox spell to absorb the healing magic and alcohol directly out of the potion, leaving only water? No wonder she got both healed and smashed so quickly.

“I refilled it.” Colt said evasively.

“When? You’ve been with us the whole time.” Star raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

“When you weren’t looking.” Colt said hastily. “That’s my special talent. I can turn invisible if nopony is looking at me, that’s why my cutie mark is clear.”

Lemon looked puzzled at Colt “But I though your talent was hea…”

“MISTRESS!” Colt snapped. “We need to talk in the other room. Now!”

The young blue mare stomped out of the kitchen with the confused pegasus following behind. Since Zest still had the red gun, my sphere of perception went with them.

“What exactly is the relationship between those two?” I heard Celly asked confused as she blurred away.

“Complicated.” Was Hoof’s only reply.

~~~***~~~

“Is something wrong Colt?” Zest asked after Colt closed the door to the room they entered. It looked like some kind of game room, with a moldy pool table and an old jukebox. “You’ve been acting odd all day.”

Colt hesitated, looking unsure of what to say. “Mistress, I know it’s not my place to ask you to do things for me, but this is something very important.”

“It’s ok Colt, what do you want me to do?” Zest said earnestly.

“Don’t ever tell anypony what my special talent really is.” Colt sighed.

“What?” Zest looked confused. “Why not? It’s a wonderful talent.”

“That’s the problem.” The blue unicorn grimaced. “It’s too wonderful.”

Zest blinked in surprise. “I don’t understand. How it that a problem?”

“You’re new to the wasteland Mistress. You haven’t seen the terrible things that ponies are capable of.” Colt began pacing around the pegasus as she spoke. “I’ve seen ponies steal, fight, and kill just for a pouch of rad-away or a vial of anti-venom. Now just think what some ponies would do to get their hooves on a pony that could instantly cure sickness, poison, and radiation.”

Lemon’s eyes went wide in realization.

To be honest, I didn’t even think about that. No wonder she was so evasive this morning.

“Yeah.” Colt stopped and gave a long sigh. “I don’t want to become a slave to a cruel master, somepony who would force me to use my talent until I died from it.”

The young mare looked Zest in the eyes. “That’s one of the reasons that I chose to be one of C.Z.’s slaves. He has security measures in place to not only protect his slaves from other slavers, but also from bad masters. I figured it would be better to be a protected slave with a kind master like you, than to be free and targeted by the horrible kind of slaver.”

I guess that makes sense for a young mare on her own, but doesn’t she belong to an army of colt cuddling raiders?

“I understand what you’re saying Colt, but Brass and the others aren’t like that. You can trust them.”

Colt rolled her eyes. “You don’t know that, you just met them. Even if they are good ponies, who’s to say that they wouldn’t let it slip accidentally to the wrong pony. Then that pony tells an even worse pony, and that pony hires a bunch of really good mercenaries…” Colt began waving her for hooves in the air as she talked faster. “And they track us down one night and kill all of you in your sleep and then sell me off to the highest bidder!” She then dropped her hooves to catch her breath. “No, the fewer ponies that know, the safer we all are.”

“Ok…” Lemon said resignedly. “But even Second?”

Colt let out a harsh whinny of laughter. “Especially not Second. I don’t trust that stallion, and neither should you. He’s scheming something, I’ve seen it in his eyes.”

“Oh Colt, you need to trust ponies more.” Zest laughed and tussled the younger mare’s mane with her hoof.

Colt just stared flatly back at the pegasus.

“Fine, I promise not to tell anypony else about your ability.” Lemon agreed, lowering her hoof. “But you have to promise me something in return.”

“You do know Mistress…” Colt smirked. “That I have to do whatever you command.”

“This isn’t a command or an order.” Lemon clarified. “It’s something I would like you to do freely.”

Colt looked surprised. “What is it?”

“I want you to promise me that you’ll try to get along with Brass and his friends.”

“Get along with that….” Colt started angrily, but then softened when she looked into Zest’s pleading eyes. “… Fine! I’ll be nicer to them, but you might not want to tell them I’m with the Sinister Plot.”

“Why not?”

“They seem the type that would kill raiders on sight, given that they were shooting Red Hooves when we found them, so they might try to kill me if they knew my allegiances. If that happened, I’m going to exercise my Celestia given right to try and kill them right back.”

Given that Brass and Star had to be saved from a mare and filly by Hoof, I wouldn’t give them much of a chance in a fight against Colt. As long as Celly doesn’t just stop her in her tracks again…

“I guess that’s fair.” Lemon nodded. “Your talent and background will be our little secret.”

~~~***~~~

When the two mares returned to the kitchen, the three stallions were huddled around the kitchen table, looking at some maps and sheets of papers with calculations. Oooh, looks like really riveting stuff…

“So, what was all that about?” Hoof asked as they walked in.

“Oh, I just needed to talk to Mistress about my estrous cycle.” Colt answered casually.

Hoof instantly coughed in surprise while Brass and Star became very focused on whatever it is they were looking at on the table.

“Ha! Typical stallions.” Colt laughed. “They get all awkward as soon as you bring up a mare’s plumbing. Isn’t that right Celly?”

Celly, who was floating by the counter and pouring some tomato soup from Zest’s talisman into a cup, just shrugged. “Don’t ask me, I’ve never even been through puberty.”

“Oh, lucky.” Colt sighed.

“Well, I don’t know much about magical half-life...” Hoof said, looking up from a sheet of numbers, clearly changing the subject. “But all your calculations check out. There’s certainly something odd here.”

“I told you they were right.” Brass said to Star, who just rolled his eyes. The bald pony then addressed Hoof, gesturing at the purple unicorn. “He has many great qualities, but a head for numbers isn’t one of them.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got a great eye for figures.” Star said to the shorter pony with a leer.

Wow, a bald pony sure can blush!

“What’s odd?” Lemon asked, looking at all the papers on the table.

“Other than Piezo’s cutie mark?” Colt said in a low giggle to Zest.

“Oh, it’s just a little side project of mine.” Brass Tacks began to explain. “Star mentioned once how Runners can wind up dead real quick if they wander into an irradiated area without a working magical geiger counter.”

“Runners?” Zest cocked her head.

“It’s a term for speed couriers.” Star answered and pointed to the running pony emblem on his jacket shoulder. “I’m with the Pony Express. It’s our job to deliver parcels and information as fast as possible across the wasteland. Celly helps us get from place to place in exchange for us helping her look in those places for information about her past. While Brass watches my flank in exchange for watching my flank.”

Oh, there he goes again! I guess if Brass had a coat of hair that blush wouldn’t be so obvious.

“So you’re a Runner too?” Zest asked the blushing pony. He certainly didn’t have the build for running.

Brass quickly composed himself and tapped the white hoof print on his barding with a hoof. “No, I’m a mercenary with the White Line company.” He then gestured to Star Mane with a smile. “I currently have a permanent contract as a bodyguard for this lanky oaf.”

I could see how a bodyguard would watch his flank, but how does Celly help them get around? Is her magic strong enough to lift and fly all three of them?

“Which brings us back to the issue at hoof.” Second interjected. “Brass started to take readings of magical radiation levels everywhere they went, and marked them down on this map.” He pointed to a large map with green dots of various sizes marked all over it.

“I figured that a map like this could help other runners plan their route so that they avoid high radiation areas.” Brass finished.

“Isn’t he clever?” Star said, patting the top of Brass’ bald head.

“So what’s odd about it?” Colt asked, finally bringing the conversation back to where it started.

“The radiation levels in some areas make no sense.” Brass said with a sigh. “There are pockets of low radiation in places where it should be much higher. It’s mostly around the eastern equestrian border, in the desert, but there are some odd areas past the eastern mountain range too.”

Brass pointed a hoof at several smaller green dots among large ones. “The city of Camelton is almost radiation free.”

“Not any more…” Hoof mumbled to himself. Come on, I’m sure that mini-mega spell Zest set off isn’t going to cause too much long term magical radiation.

“Hoof just mathematically confirmed that the lowered radiation couldn’t be due to magical decay.” Brass pointed out. “So we don’t know what could be possibly causing it.”

“Wow.” Colt yawned. “That sure is fascinating. Hey Celly, can you pour me a bowl of that soup too?”

“Sure thing Colt.” Celly said with a laugh at the young mare’s blatant disinterest in the stallions’ findings. After pouring Colt's bowl of soup, She floated over to Zest, sipping some of the soup form her cup. “This soup talisman you rigged up is an incredible invention, and the soup is really good.”

“Aw, I didn’t invent the talisman, I juts figured out how to make it portable.” Lemon replied modestly. “I just wish we could have found some rats to add to it.”

“Why would you want to add rats?” Celly said puzzled.

“You don’t want to kno-” Hoof’s snide comment was cut off by the room begging to shake.

“What… did... you… do… now… Rock?!” Hoof asked as the room continued to vibrate even stronger. Come on, you can’t blame her for causing earthquakes.

“It… wasn’t…. me! And…. my…. name… is…” The pegasus was interrupted by a deafening high pitch roar, and what sounded like an approaching stampede.

“Looks… like… our… little… friend… is… back… Celly.” Star stuttered out as he made his way across the rumbling room.

All the ponies awkwardly scrambled out of the building as chunks of plaster began to get shaken off of the walls and ceiling. Well, all except Celly, who just floated herself out easily.

Once they were outside, I could see that far off from my perception sphere was a large blurry blue shape rapidly approaching.

“What is that thing?” Hoof asked.

“No idea.” Brass Tacks answered. “We stumbled across it’s den a few days ago, and it was none too happy about it. We thought we gave it the slip though.”

Gave what the slip? Could you describe it for those of us without standard pony percep…

Oh my.

Within moments the creature had already reached the edge of my range of perception, and I was able to get a disturbingly clear look at it.

This thing was like a giant blue dragon crossed with a cazapillar. It had a long serpentine body and a dozen legs. The legs transitioned from the back most pair being just simple stumps, to the centre pair being crude feet, and the front most pair being fully formed talons. Its head was very much like a dragon, with rows of giant spiky scales across its neck, sharp yellow eyes, and way too many teeth to count.

The beast reared up its front six legs, standing nearly as tall as the building and let out a screeching roar.

“Ok Celly, you can handle this one.” Star mane said, taking a step back.

What? You’re letting the filly handle that monster? Ok, she’s a fifty year old alicorn filly, but still!

“You can’t just let Celly face that thing!” Hoof protested. I don’t often agree with him, but he was right about this.

“You’re right.” Brass Tacks said, also backing up. “Celly, try not to kill it right away. It’s part dragon, so maybe you can reason with it.”

Don’t kill it right away?! Just how powerful is Celly’s magic?

“Fine…” The filly alicorn said, rolling her eyes and trotting over to the multi-legged dragon.

“Excuse me! Dragon thing?” Celly called up once she reach the front row of feet. One of its talons was as long as she was! “We’re really sorry for disturbing you before, but I strongly recommend that you stop pursuing us.”

The towering beast looked down at the little filly and opened its giant mouth. Could that thing actually understand her and… HOLY CRAP!

The thing just spat a lightning bolt from its mouth at Celly! Dragons breathe fire, or maybe ice, not lighting! But then they don’t normally have a dozen legs either…

The dust cloud from the blast cleared, and Celly was standing in the centre of a giant black scorch mark. Her mane wasn’t even frizzy! How could she have dodged that?

“I don’t think diplomacy is working!” The unscathed alicorn called back to her friends. “Can I move on to ‘Plan B’ ye-”

The dragon creature slammed a massive foot down on the little filly, stopping her mid-sentence.

“Celly!” Lemon called out at the shock of seeing the alicorn stomped on.

“Ten caps says that she gets it over the mountains.” Brass casually said to Star.

“You’re on.” The unicorn agreed.

Umm guys? Your little friend was just squashed. Shouldn’t you be running away, or avenging her, or something other than taking bets on whatever it…

Suddenly the entire dragon-pillar was surrounded in a golden glow and began floating off the ground.

Celly then stepped out from under the creature’s foot, with a very annoyed expression on her face, and dusted herself off.

“Bad dragon!” The little alicorn yelled. “Go… home!” And with that, the dragon was magically flung far away from my sphere of perception and off towards the horizon.

“And…” Brass said as his eyes followed the dragon’s flight for several seconds. “Yes! To the mountains!”

The purple unicorn grumbled and floated out ten caps. “I’ve forgotten how much she hates getting stepped on…”

“But… how did she…” Hoof stammered while Celly trotted back to them. Colt seemed to be stunned speechless by the display of durability and raw power. Even Lemon looked rather shocked, and not much fazes her!

“Oh, didn’t we tell you?” Star said with a laugh. “Little Celly here is completely indestructible.”

“And insanely powerful” Brass added with a smirk.

“Yeah, and I’m cute too.” Celly finished and rolled her eyes. She then turned to Colt, Zest, and Hoof. “By the way, I should have asked this earlier, but do any of you three know anything about Twilight Sparkle? She’s pretty much my only lead to my past.”

Colt and Lemon looked blankly at each other and shook their heads.

Second, on the other hoof, had a grin so large that he looked like a foal that just got his Hearth's Warming Eve presents early. “I know a bit about her.” He said slyly. “And I think I know some ponies that may know even more…”

I really don’t trust that grin…

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Author note:
This chapter was a real trail to get done on time, and it was really down to the wire. Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune went out of their way to edit this chapter, which was dropped on them at the last minute this morning! I hope this won't happen again...

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 8: The Past Rings True

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 8: The Past Rings True

Waste Land Survival Lesson 13:

“Get to know your travelling companions.”

I think I need to take stock of my current situation...
-First I was killed by a wooden gun with no trigger and tied to where it goes.
-The owner of the gun is a pegasus from a stable of earth ponies.
-She also owns a slave that she got from a colour changing zebra.
-The slave is also a raider who can absorb things magically.
-They just met a lanky unicorn, a bald pony, and an all-powerful immortal alicorn.
-There’s also a suspicious Tenpony merchant.

...My afterlife is WEIRD!

The last two on that list, Hoof and Celly, had just trotted off to the other side of the raider hide out to have a private chat. Presumably it was about Twilight Sparkle, but since they were out of my sphere of perception they could have been talking about hoofball scores for all I knew.

This left Lemon Zest, Colt, Star Mane, and Brass Tacks, waiting outside for them to return. Zest was staring googly eyed at Brass again, and Colt, in an odd change, was staring at Star. Well, more accurately, she was staring at the wide ring that he wore on his horn and looked to be trying not to giggle.

“Something funny?” Star asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Is that... Is that what I think it is?” Colt smirked while pointing a hoof at the horn ring.

Star Mane sighed and rolled his eyes. “Yes...” He then hastily added “But it’s not what you think.”

Well that didn’t make much sense.

This contradiction must have caught Lemon’s attention too, since she finally stopped starting at Brass and turned to the two unicorns. “What is it?”

“It’s a block-ring!” Colt said with a laugh.

“What’s a block-ring?” Zest asked while Star just face-hoofed.

“It’s a special horn ring that blocks the unicorn wearing it from using magic.” Colt explained and then shot a sly look to Star. “Kinky pre-war ponies would use them for magical bondage.”

“Bondage?” Zest tilted her head confused. I wonder just how sheltered her stable life was. Any time Colt mentions any kind of sexual behaviour, other than straight sex, Lemon has had a reaction of bewilderment that seemed to go beyond just her amnesia.

“I said it’s not like that!” Star Mane said while rolling his eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“Well, if Second is talking to Celly about history, it’s going to take a while...” The yellow pegasus pointed out. She was right, Celly may be powerful and indestructible, but could she withstand one of Hoof’s lectures?

“Fine...” Star Mane slumped his shoulders. “My special talent is speed. I can outrun just about anypony, and I’ve picked up several magic spells to make me even faster. When I was younger, about Colt’s age, I would challenge anypony I could to a race and always win. Back then I was arrogant and cocky.”

“Back then?” Brass interjected with a smirk.

“Ok... I was even more arrogant and cocky back then.” Star corrected sheepishly. “Eventually I started hustling ponies for caps with my races. I would bet other ponies that I was faster than them, and then I would let them win the first couple of races and keep insisting on a rematch at a higher wager. Then, when the stakes were high enough, I would win the race using my magic.”

“Sneaky little scam you had going there.” Colt said, sounding impressed. “But what does that have to do with the block-ring?”

“I was getting to that.” Star Mane said. “There was one race I had against a big shot earth pony. I did my little last second win trick like normal and won the race, but he noticed that I used magic and was not too happy about it. He said that using magic was cheating and I didn’t win fair and square. This wasn’t the first time I was caught, so I used my old argument that using my natural magical talents was no different than him using his natural earth pony strength.”

I sure hope that the earth-pony didn’t buy that malarkey. The magical benefits an earth pony has from their special talent are always active and enhances them in usually subtle ways. It’s not something you can turn on whenever you want like a unicorn’s magic. Magic is totally cheating!

And I don’t have horn envy!

“He seemed to buy it at the time.” Star continued.

Was he daft!?

“He even agreed to throw a party for my victory to show that there was no hard feelings.” Star Mane let out a sigh before going on with his story. “I should have thought something was up right then, but I was too full of myself and just thought that I was so charismatic that I won him over. At the party he bought me a drink and invited me up to his bedroom. Just as I was thinking that this was going to be a kind of rematch to see who was faster, I passed out. He must have put something in my drink.”

The lanky unicorn tapped the metal band on his horn. “When I came to, I was sprawled out in an alley with this on my horn and my magic was blocked. Stuck to the end of my horn was a note explaining how the ring was rigged with a powerful compact explosive that would go off if I ever tried to remove it or tamper with it in any way. The note also said that cheaters never prosper.”

Brass Tacks trotted over and stood beside his friend while he continued his story.

“For almost ten years I had to learn how to live like an earth pony. It was a humbling experience to say the least...” Star lowered his head to look at Brass Tacks. “That was until I met Brass. He was the first pony that I ever met that had enough know-how about explosives to disarm the ring. Since he was in a bit of a bind at the time, I agreed to help him out in exchange for deactivating the bomb in the ring.”

Hmm, If Brass is an explosives expert, does that mean he lost all his hair in some explosion? No... There would be massive scarring if that was the case, and at least some of his hair would have survived.

Star gave a warm smile to the bald pony. “We’ve been together ever since.”

“But why are you still wearing the ring then? Don’t you want to use magic again?” Zest inquired.

“Part of the reason I still wear it is to remind me of the lessons I learned when I couldn’t use magic, and to keep me from getting too cocky again. As for my magic...” Star’s horn glowed green as he levitated a small rock nearby. “The enchantment on the ring no longer works.”

“Shortly after I met Star, the two of us came across Celly.” Brass continued the story. “She was having trouble controlling her powers, still does at times, so we tried putting the block-ring on her horn.”

“Did it work?” Zest asked.

“The enchantment burned itself out in less than a second.” Brass answered as he lifted his forehoves and shrugged. “Normally that would be impossible, since the spell had the strength to last at least another century. But then this is Celly were talking about, so all bets are off.”

“Speaking of talking about Celly, it looks like she’s done chatting.” Star pointed a hoof to the small alicorn and shifty merchant as they walked back. I looked like Celly was smiling and Second was rather content with himself.

“We have a new lead!” Celly called out to the other ponies. “We’re leaving for Tenpony Tower in five minutes.”

“Celly’s going back to Tenpony?” Star Mane said with a chuckle. “I hope it ends better than last time…”

“What happened last time?” Lemon asked.

“Well, it all started when Celly tried to shop at one of the stores in the tower…” Brass started to tell the story as Celly and Star headed back into to raider safe house.

I was curious about what happened, but my attention was drawn away by Colt stopping Second with a hoof and whispering “We need to have a little chat.”

“As much as I would love to pretend to care about what you have to say…” Hoof started sarcastically. “I need to get ready before we head out.”

“Either you and I have a chat…” Colt floated he large knife between them. “Or you and Mulberry have a chat.”

Second’s eyes narrowed a bit as he looked at the tip of the knife. “I see your point.”

Did Hoof just make a pun? Nah, must have been a coincidence.

The two unicorns trotted over to the side of the building as Brass continued telling his story to Zest, something involving a large green hat, but they fortunately stayed within my sphere of perception.

“What do you want, raider?” Hoof asked, sounding rather annoyed with the young unicorn.

“I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention that around our new friends.” Colt said in a whisper. Other than Hoof, I doubt anyone without omnipresent hearing could hear what they were saying.

“Mention what?” Hoof whispered back puzzled.

“About me being a raider, or my past.” Colt answered through clenched teeth. It looked like asking this of Second was a struggle for her. “I promised Mistress Zest that I would play nice with the Cleaner and his cohorts, but if they catch wind that I’m Sinister Plot… Well, I have a feeling ‘nice’ will be off the table all around.”

“And if I let mention of your past slip?” Hoof asked cautiously.

“Well…” Colt floated out her knife again. “I never promised that I would play nice with you.”

“You’re kind of bloodthirsty, you know that?” Second glared past the knife at the young mare.

“Nah, you just need to get to know me.” Colt said with a smile. “I’m really a big softy.” She seemed to mean that, but then she still had her knife floating up by Hoof’s face…

“Fine, whatever.” Hoof rolled his eyes. “I won’t mention that you’re a raider. I don’t plan on mentioning you at all for that matter, so no skin off my nose.” Hoof sidestepped Colt as she put away her knife. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s a long walk to Manehattan and I need to get ready.”

Hoof trotted off into the safe house as Colt gave a frustrated sigh and struck the side wall with a forehoof hard enough to leave a hole. Her face was a mix of sadness and rage, like she was about to either break down crying or kill somepony.

What was going on in her head? This couldn’t be just about asking Hoof to cover for her…

After a moment the young unicorn composed herself and trotted around to the front of the house with her usual perky gait.

“…And then the other melon dropped!” Brass said to Zest, laughing out loud.

Lemon burst out laughing, slapping the ground with her hoof. “Oh, that’s unbelievable!”

Drat! Looks like I missed the entire story.

The yellow pegasus managed to get her laughter down to a giggle as the blue unicorn trotted up to her. “Hey Colt. You about ready to go?”

“Almost. There’s just one thing I need to do first…”

~~~***~~~

It turns out that the one thing Colt needed to do was to find an old can of paint in the safe house and paint over the large Red Hoof emblem on the front of the building. Lemon offered to help her, but Colt told her that it was something she had to do herself. Star, Brass, and Celly seemed to figure out from the serious expression that Colt wore while painting that this was something important to her and even delayed leaving until she finished. I seriously doubt that they had any idea just why it was so important to Colt to remove any trace of the Red Hoof’s presence there.

When Colt was finished Celly called everypony to her.

“Ok, our destination is about a block away from Tenpony Tower.” The little alicorn informed the others.

That’s kind of odd. Why were they going to walk to just short of the tower instead of having the tower as the destination?

“I’ve been there a few times before, so there shouldn’t be any problems.” Celly continued and looked over to Zest, Colt, and Second. “Since this is the first time you guys have blinked, I should warn you that it may burn a little.”

What?

Apparently I wasn’t the only one lost. Colt and Hoof looked a little confused, and Lemon just nodded along like she does any times somepony says something she doesn’t understand. Star on the other hoof was snickering to himself like something funny was about to happen and Brass just smiled knowingly.

“All ready?” Celly asked, looking to everypony as they nodded. “Ok, let’s go!”

Does she always make this much of a-

Woah!

My whole perception flashed with a golden light, and when it cleared everypony was standing in the middle of a city street!

I recognize this place! This is Manehattan, a few blocks from Tenpony!

“Wow!” Colt called out in surprise.

Hoof just stared gobsmacked with his mouth open.

“Uh, neat.” Lemon said, sounding uncertain how impressed she should be. I guess she wouldn’t know how ridiculously rare a talent like teleportation is, especially across large distances.

“Did we forget to mention that Celly can also teleport to just about anywhere in Equestria?” Star Mane said with a grin.

“Well, only to places that I’ve been before or can see.” Celly clarified.

“Wh…What other spells can you do?” Hoof asked, finally shaking off his amazement.

“That’s actually all I can do.” The lavender maned alicorn sighed. “Just teleportation and telekinesis.”

‘Just’ those? What more do you want, invisibility and force fields?

“Why didn’t we go straight to the tower?” Lemon asked, looking up in the direction of the tower, which was a tall blur to me.

“The guards tend to get twitchy when ponies suddenly appear at the front door out of nowhere.” Brass explained.

“Well, let’s get going.” Colt said eagerly while trotting forwards. “I’ve never been inside Tenpony before!”

“And you’re never going to.” Hoof said stepping in front of the young raider. “You and Lemon will have to wait outside.”

“Why?” Zest asked.

“Afraid we’ll embarrass you in front of all your swanky friends?” Colt teased.

Hoof just rolled his eyes. “The number one rule in Tenpony is that slavers and raiders are not allowed. I could be executed just for associating with you two.”

“What are you talking about?” Star Mane asked, looking back and forth between Hoof and the two mares.

Hoof sighed resignedly. “Lemon is a slaver, and Colt is a…”

Colt’s horn glowed softly as she drew Mulberry out of its holster just enough to catch the merchant’s attention.

“Colt is her slave.” Hoof quickly corrected.

Brass, Star, and Celly turned to look at Zest and Colt in surprise.

“Is this true?” Brass asked Zest. The yellow pegasus nodded happily, blissfully unaware of the negative connotation that the title carried.

“But you two don’t seem like either slave or master” Star said confused.

“It’s complicated.” Colt said with a wave of her hoof. “It would take too long to tell the whole story.”

“Well that explains the whole ‘Mistress Zest’ thing.” Celly said casually. “I thought it was some kinds of kinky fetish thing between you two.”

The blue unicorn almost went violet from blushing at that comment, while Zest had her usual ‘amnesiac stable dweller’ look of incomprehension on her face.

Brass turned to Celly. “If it’s ok with you, I think Star and I should wait outside also. I don’t like the idea of leaving two mares, regardless of their puzzling relationship, alone in the streets of Manehattan.”

Zest’s eyes lit up at the mention of Brass choosing to stay outside to protect her.

“That’s a good idea.” Celly said with a nod. “I should only need Hoof with me to find out what I can about Twilight Sparkle here.”

“That’s rather chivalrous of you.” Star whispered to Brass. “You sure you’re not just trying to avoid a certain maître d'?”

“That has nothing to do with it!” Brass blushed. “And how was I supposed to know he would take that offer seriously?”

“That works out well.” Second Hoof said as he trotted down the block towards Tenpony Tower, the other following close behind. “This way it’s less likely that certain pegasi will blow up another building while waiting.”

“That was just one time!” Lemon protested while Brass gave her and inquiring look. “It’s another longer story…” She added with an embarrassed blush to the bald earth pony.

As the group came close to the tower, the lower levels came into focus. I wish that I could see past this sphere of visibility. Omnidirectional sight is neat and all, but the range isn’t nearly far enough to take in the great scope of Tenpony Tower. I can’t even see the monorail entrance that I entered by the last time I was here. At least staying out here with Lemon means that I don’t have to listen omnidirectionally to the stuck up ponies living there…

Second and Celly approached the large metal doors that were set into the high concrete walls surrounding the base of the tower while the others stayed a ways back. Hoof stood by a wall mounted intercom and pressed the intercom’s send button with his magic.

“Hey Draw, let me in.” Hoof said casually at the metal box.

“Well look who finally turned up.” A stallion’s voice came from the speaker. “The higher ups have been looking all over for you after that little disappearing act. I had caps down that the sprites got you. You might wish they had, with all the trouble that you’re in…”

Hoof looked confused hearing this. “What are you talking about, Draw Bridge?”

“I was told not to tell you anything, so not to ‘colour your testimony’ as they said.” The staticy voice replied with a laugh. “But just to tell you to report in if you ever show up.”

“I was on my way to see them anyways, so open the door.” Hoof said with a roll of his eyes. “I have somepony here that needs to speak with them.”

There was a small mechanical whir that brought to my attention a security camera that was mounted high up on the wall.

“Oh? You got a little one with you?” The voice said jokingly. “I didn’t know it was ‘bring your illegitimate daughter to work day’. Did you knock up some Arbu hick and... What the heck is she?!”

I guess the stallion on the other end of the intercom just noticed that Celly had both wings and a horn.

“As you can see…” Hoof said, sounding like his patience with the door guard was growing thin. “The higher ups will be equally interested in meeting with my friend. So open this stupid door already.”

These ‘higher up’ that they keep referring to sound kind of suspicions. I thought Tenpony ran the tower. Has there been some kind of change of management in the years since I was last here and now it’s run by a group?

There was a huge creaking noise as the large metal door slowly swung open. As Hoof began trotting through, Celly turned to Star Mane and Brass Tacks. “This might take a while, but stick close in case this winds up like Salt Cube City and we have to get out quick.”

Brass let out a dry whinny once the small alicorn disappeared behind the metal door. “That could be fun actually.”

Star Mane looked at his bald companion incredulously. “You and I remember Salt Cube very differently.” The skinny unicorn then turned to Colt. “Since we have plenty of time and are not going anywhere, how about you elaborate on just how you are a Ms. Zest’s slave…”

“Yes.” Brass Tacks nodded. “I’m rather curious about that myself.”

“Oh! Let me tell it Colt!” Lemon said eagerly. It was clear that she was excited that Brass was showing an interest in something concerning her. Colt gave a shrug and gestured for the pegasus to proceed.

“Well, going as far back as I can remember,” Zest started, addressing Brass Tacks more than his tall companion. “Which is just over a week ago…”

~~~***~~~

“It just doesn’t make financial sense!” Star Mane protested. “Why would a slaver spend so many caps on a single slave when they can get dozens for the same price? This Zebra of yours would never make any caps.”

Lemon had long since finished telling Brass and Star about her adventures with Second leading up to her receiving Colt as a thank you gift from Colourful Zebra. The past hour mostly consisted of Star Mane debating with Colt the validity of Zebra’s business model.

“It’s not meant to be a way to make caps, it’s meant to be a way to help everyone involved!” Colt retorted. “Money is only involved when the problem at hoof is about money. Normally it’s a straight up exchange of freedom for whatever may resolve the client’s problem. Also, the slavers that C.Z. deals with are reasonable enough to realize that one loyal and specially talented slave is worth more than dozens of rebellious drones.”

“That’s all well and good in theory, but who’s to say what happens once the slave is bought?” Star said with a wave of his hoof. “A slaver could say that they would treat the slave right, but then turn around and beat them, or the slave could turn and kill the slaver.”

Colt waved her own hoof, mimicking the stallion’s gesture. “Over the years, C.Z. has built up an extensive information network through his former clients, both slaves and slavers. So beyond the obvious background check that he performs on every potential slave and slaver, he has ways of finding just about anything there is about them. Also, he has ways I don’t even know about of keeping tabs on clients, maybe even magically. Heck, he could be checking in on me and Mistress right now for all I know.”

I have to admit, the points that both sides were bringing up were much better thought out than the rather one sided discussion that Hoof had with Colourful. To be fair, Hoof was rather dumbfounded at the time, and Colourful was using every ounce of his charisma to sway the conversation.

This debate was still duller to listen to than dirt to listen to though…

Brass was staying well out of the conversation and keeping himself busy with his radiation mapping notes.

“Ooooh, mysterious and magical zebra powers of observation.” Star Mane said dramatically as he waved his fore hooves about. Heh, I think Colourful would like this stallion; he doesn’t put too much stock in zebra mysticism. “Does that mean there’s never been a case where things go pear shaped and a slaver mistreats a slave, or vice versa?”

Colt deflated a little. “There have been some bad situations. The wasteland never goes easy on someone trying to do good. C.Z. doesn’t like to talk about those times, he just keeps trying to help others.”

“You almost turned into one of those bad situations.” Star Mane pointed out. “You were nearly dead when we found you.”

“Hey, that’s completely different!” Colt slammed her hoof against the broken asphalt road. “The wasteland is a dangerous place and C.Z. can’t protect his clients from every hazard out there.” The young mare looked over to Lemon, who was happily watching Brass work. “Besides, my contract is to help Mistress Zest. So if I have to take a bullet to do that, then that’s what I’ll do!”

“Which begs the question, why are you even a slave in the first place?” The dark unicorn asked pointedly.

Colt face hoofed, her patience clearly wearing thin. “Didn’t we just go over all this?!”

Star shook his head. “I mean, what were you doing in Zebra’s stock to begin with? What problem did you have that only selling your freedom could solve?”

The young mare’s eyes went dark. “That’s none of your business.”

Colt clearly wasn’t about to tell Star and Brass about going to Colourful for protection due to her talent.

“Well it must have been somepony’s business.” Star pressed on. “Didn’t you have any friends or family to turn to instead of selling yourself off?”

I wondered that too. Couldn’t the Sinister Plot protect her?

“No…” Colt said quietly, lowering her head.

Star’s tone softened at this. “I’m sorry. Far too many foals in the wasteland are orphans…” He then asked with a sigh. “What happened to your family?”

Colt shot a look at Brass that was so cold it could have given him frostbite if he was looking her way. “Cleaners.”

The bald stallion stopped his work and lowered his head. All the ponies present went quiet.

What? Colt said that her parents died of a plague, and her brother of rad-scorpions. Did she mean-

“Umm, what are Cleaners?” Zest naive question suddenly broke the silence. “I’ve heard them mentioned before, but nopony ever said who or what they were. Are they like a raider clan or something?”

Now there was an understatement…

“Cleaners are the most evil, merciless, and horrible raider clan in all of Equestria.” Colt explained, every word dripping with pure hatred. “They don’t raid for caps, or food, or chems, or weapons. They raid only to kill, and they kill in horrible ways…”

Colt took a breath. This was clearly painful for her to talk about. Then again, Cleaners were hard for almost anypony to talk about. Fancy kissing Discord was preferable to even thinking about the horrors those monsters commit.

“They don’t use guns or knives.” Colt pressed on. “They use chlorine gas bombs that burn out your insides, and weapons that spew pressurized boiling bleach that can melt a pony to the bone. They kill thousands this way while protected head to hoof in yellow hazmat suits with tinted face plates.”

“They act like monsters, but some of my… family, managed to kill a few of them.” Colt clearly was using ‘family’ to refer to her tribe. Killing even a single Cleaner was an impressive task for a group of raiders. “Under those horrid plastic suits, they are just ponies. Dead they look like anypony else, except…” Colt looked straight into Brass’ eyes. “They are all completely bald.”

Woah… I didn’t even know that. I’ve never even heard of anypony seeing a Cleaner without their suits. No wonder Colt though Brass as a Cleaner. But he couldn’t be…

“You’re wrong about one thing…” Brass said with a sigh. “The Cleaners are not a raider clan. They’re a fanatical religious cult."

Every eye was now on the stocky bald pony as he spoke. "They are obsessed with the idea of cleanness and purity. This extends to every facet of their lives, from the freakishly clean bases they live in to the bloodless way they kill. They believe that the war and all that is wrong with the world is the result of pegasus, unicorns, and even zebras corrupting the ‘pure race’ of earth ponies. So they see it as their mission to ‘cleanse’ equestrian from all ‘unclean’ races, creatures, beliefs, and even thoughts.”

“You sure know a lot about Cleaners for not being one of them…” Colt said coldly. I could see that every muscle in her small frame was tensing.

“They indoctrinate their foals from birth with these beliefs.” Brass continued. “This continues until the foal gets their cutie mark. Then, once the elders decide how best to use the foals special talent, the foal goes through a ritual bath of magic chemicals that burn off all their hair permanently. This even strips them of their cutie mark, what makes them special.”

“They are then expected to unquestioningly follow the codes of the Cleaners.” Brass went on as Star Mane trotted over to his side. “To hate all that they were told to hate, to believe only what they were told to believe, to only love…” The stout earth pony’s voice broke with sadness at the word. Star Mane placed a comforting hoof over his shoulders. “… How they told you to love.”

Oh, so that’s how it is…

Brass then looked straight at Lemon. “I think you can understand what it’s like to be in a place where you’re not allowed to be different, and the great lengths somepony would go to get out of that situation.”

Zest nodded silently as tears started to well up in her eyes.

The bald pony then looked to Colt. “I am deeply sorry for what happened to your family, and I share your hatred of the Cleaners.” He lowered his head. “They took everything from me too…”

The tension in Colt’s body began to relax as she let out a sigh. “Whatever. Everypony that’s not a Cleaner hates the Clea-”

A sudden flash of golden light cut her short.

The moment Celly teleported in, she turned to Zest. “Lemon, I need a really big fav- HEY!”

The tip of Mulberry bounced harmlessly off the little filly’s invulnerable eye.

“Don’t just appear without warning like that!” Colt yelled, looking startled with her mane standing on end.

I wonder if Colt took into account Celly’s invulnerability when she threw her knife at the filly’s face, or was it just on reflex…

“What? Oh, sorry.” Celly finally looked around at the other serious faced ponies. “Umm, did I interrupt something?”

Brass Tacks shook his head and gave a mirthless smirk. “Not really, just story time. What did you want Cell?”

“Oh, right!” The little alicorn turned back to Lemon. “I need a really huge favour from you. Can I please have your soup talisman?”

“My soup stone?” Zest looked puzzled. “Why do you need it?”

“There’s this shadowy group of ponies that named themselves after Twilight Sparkle and they may finally be the ones that could answer who I am and where I came from, but they are too busy to deal with a food shortage due to a parasprite infestation to help me, so I figured that if I gave them your soup talisman help their food problem then they will give me information on who I am in exchange, that’s why I really really need your talisman since it would not only help me but all the ponies in the tower!”

Wow.

“How can she talk like that?” Colt whispered to Star Mane.

“She doesn’t need to breathe.” The unicorn answered with a shrug.

Wait. How can you talk without breathing? Then again, how does an immortal and invulnerable all powerful alicorn filly exist in the first place?

“I don’t know…” Lemon said uncertainly. “My soup stone is our main food source…”

“I’ve got tons of caps, I can get you all the food you’ll ever need!” Celly beseeched.

“Then why not just by food for all the ponies in the tower?” Colt spoke up.

“Their problem isn’t a matter of caps, all the ponies in the tower are rich, it’s getting enough food quick enough to feed all of them.” Celly explained to Colt. “I could teleport anywhere right now and get week of provisions for your group, but nowhere has enough food for sale to last all of Tenpony for a week. They need a quick fix as they establish trade routes all over Equestria.”

Dangit! If I was still alive I could really help these ponies out. I know all the outposts and towns that could help supply them. Within a week they could be getting food in and it would really help the economy of half of Equestria!

“Please Lemon, this is really important to me.” Celly begged with big puppy dog eyes. I’d probably be having a heart attack right now from the cuteness if I still had a heart. “I’ll do anything for it!”

The yellow pegasus sat and thought for a moment, then Brass Tacks trotted up beside her and whispered in her ear. Instead of her normal freak out when somepony was so close, Zest just blushed hotly at the proximity.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” Lemon said dazedly to the bald stallion.

The mercenary leaned closer and whispered directly into the mare’s ear. Zest’s front hooves curled a little as a blissful expression crossed her face.

“Didn’t quite catch that…” She said sheepishly.

Oh come on!

The stable pony sighed as Brass looked down at her incredulously. “Right… I think I got it, and it’s a wonderful idea!”

Zest turned back to Celly. “I’ll give you my soup stone on three conditions. First, you’ll have to provide us with food like you offered.”

“Sure thing! I know all the best markets in Equestria.” Celly nodded eagerly.

“Second…” Lemon continued. “Colt really needs some armor. Something light, so she can move fast, but still bulletproof.”

“Oh Mistress, you don’t need to do that.” Colt protested.

“It’s been only a day since I got you and you already nearly died once. I don’t want to lose you again so soon.”

Colt smiled happily at hearing this.

It was a good idea. Having the only real fighter in your party practically naked didn’t make much sense.

“No problem.” Celly agreed. “There are several shops in Tenpony that sell and enhance barding, I’ll get her the best I can find. What’s the third condition?”

Zest looked away a little embarrassed. “Flying lessons.”

Celly looked puzzled. “What?”

The yellow pegasus sighed. “I don’t know how to fly. I only learned a few days ago what my wings were. I would really like to learn how though, and you’re the only pony I know that can fly.” Zest’s voice then turned a little sad. “Using my wings to fly would make me special, and not just… different.”

“I’m not sure how good of a teacher I would be, half the time I just self-levitate.” The little alicorn shrugged. “It would take a while, and you might wind up more Fluttershy than Rainbow Dash, but I guess I can teach you the basics.”

Lemon let out a happy little squee and jumped in the air, spreading her wings out. She seemed to take a little longer than normal to come back down. Maybe she really can learn to fly. “It’s a deal!”

Before Zest cold even take the soup talisman from her saddle bags, Celly levitated it out and floated it over to herself.

“Thank you so much!” Celly said gratefully before teleporting away again.

“Well.” Star Mane said with a shrug. “Looks like it’s back to waiting.”

~~~***~~~

The hours waiting passed slowly and quietly. Between the played out debate on C.Z’s slavery and Brass Tacks’ lesson on Cleaners, it seemed that nopony was in much of a mood for talking any more. Only thing that broke the silence was when Second came down to tell everypony that it may be a while longer and asked if anypony wanted something to read while waiting. I think Hoof was more just making sure that Zest and Colt weren’t getting into trouble or doing anything that may embarrass him.

Eventually Colt trotted over to where Brass Tacks was doing calculations on his maps while Lemon was making… something, with flat scraps of metal nearby. “Hey Brass. There’s just one more thing I was wondering about.”

“A sextant.” The bald pony said bluntly. “My cutie mark was a sextant.”

The yellow pegasus’ ears shot up and her eyes went wide on hearing this. The piece of metal she was working with dropped from her now gaping mouth as she blushed bright red.

“It’s a navigational tool.” Brass quickly explained when he saw this reaction. “My special talent is navigation. It’s how I know exactly where to mark on my map wherever Celly teleports us.”

“Oh.” Zest’s expression changed to embarrassment. “That makes loads more sense.”

“What? Did you think that it was a tent for sex?” Colt teased her mistress.

Lemon quickly went back to her metal work without answering, her face still red.

“Actually, that wasn’t what I was wondering about at all.” Colt said to Brass after a chuckle. “I was more wondering that was the story behind that.” The young raider pointed a hoof at the shackle on the stallion’s left foreleg. “Were you are slave too once?”

Brass looked down at the shackle. “No, I was never a slave. This comes from my time I was a guest of Dif, the self-appointed Warden at Shattered Hoof prison.”

“I didn’t know that there was a prison still operational in the waste land.” Colt said in surprise. “What was your crime?”

“Dif reopened the prison himself and ran it with a bunch of like minded ponies. Their goal was to incarcerate the scum of the wasteland and force them into labour to repay their debt to Equestria. It sounds noble on the surface, but in practice they were not much more that raiders who captured and tortured other raiders. As for my crime?” Brass let out a sigh. “It was just being alive…”

“Dif mistook you for a Cleaner too.” Colt said, putting the pieces together.

“Yeah.” The bald pony gave a small smile. I guess he caught Colt’s subtle acceptance of who he was. “Although he should have realized his mistake when I didn’t automatically try to kill myself for being confined to such an ‘unclean’ place. The ironic part was that Dif found me just as I was going to collect the bounty on The Sand Spider. He let one of the most notorious raider leaders go free, thinking he was a harmless ghoul, and imprisoned me.”

“Ha!” Colt let out a sharp whinny of laughter on hearing about her chief’s narrow escape, and then quickly put her hooves to her mouth. “Sorry. I, uh, just really like irony.”

Brass gave her an odd look before continuing with this story. “I was stuck in that prison for nearly three years, until a certain tall dark stranger made a delivery.”

“Star Mane.” Colt guessed.

“The one and only.” The purple unicorn said as he trotted over and joined the conversation. “From the moment I walked across the prison yard, Brass couldn’t keep his eyes off my package.”

Colt lifted an eyebrow.

“The package he was delivering contained high yield magical explosives.” Brass explained with a blush. “Dif worked his prisoners by forcing them to mine for gemstones, and he was planning to blast his way to a new vein. I had different plans for it though.”

“So, while I was making the delivery, this short bald prisoner tries to get my attention.” Star continued the story with a smile. “Out of curiosity, I excused myself to use the washroom after Dif signed off for the explosives and I doubled back to the courtyard. After a bit of talking, Brass asked me to help him steal the explosives and escape in exchange for disarming the bomb on my Block-ring.”

“Most ponies specialize in a particular weapon in order to survive the wasteland, but since I’ve never cared much for guns I spent my time studying explosives.” Brass explained modestly. “By the time I was imprisoned, I’d gotten rather proficient with them. Although, I’ve never thought to wire four balefire eggs to a proximity mine before.” He gave a smile to Lemon, who blushed nearly from mane to hoof.

“Proficient is an understatement!” Star Mane rolled his eyes at Brass’ modesty. “He not only safely removed the bomb from the ring, a feat that nopony else could do, but then used the explosive in it to blast the chain that shackled him to the courtyard. With my magic finally back, I was fast enough to steal the explosives that I delivered and then Brass blasted our way through the prison wall even before Dif knew what happened.”

“But now that you’re free, why keep that shackle on?” Zest asked.

I’m starting to suspect the real reason behind that, and why-

My train of thought and Brass’ response was cut short by the screeching of the huge metal doors were set in the tower’s outer wall. Second Hoof trotted out carrying several books in his telekinesis.

“Celly’s going to be busy for a while longer, getting the information she wants is proving to be… tricky.” The dark olive unicorn said with a resigned shake of his head. “I’ve got the books you asked for.”

Hoof floated out from the rest of the stack a large brown book and deposited it on the pavement at Lemon’s hooves.

“But I didn’t ask for a book.” Zest said as she looked curiously at the golden unicorn profile embossed on the cover and then flipping it open.

“I know, but I figured that it could help you.” Hoof said with a smile. “The Elements of Harmony: Extended Edition tells the history of Equestria, starting from the first Hearth's Warming Eve up until just before the war. It’s all in simple to follow stories that even an elementary school foal could read.”

I know you’re really big on history Hoof, and it’s nice that you want to educated Zest and all, but isn’t giving her a foal’s story book a little insulting of her intelligence? She may be ignorant due to her lack of memory, but she’s not some simple minded-

“It has pictures of the princesses!” Lemon squeed with foalish delight as she flipped through the pages.

Nevermind…

Hoof then floated out a small, heavily dog-eared, soft cover book to Brass. “I found a copy of that Advanced Arcano-Magic Calculations & Rules of Hoof you asked for. It looks like it was Twilight Sparkles’ personal copy, since there are a lot of hoof-notes in the margins and even some corrections.”

The bald earth pony’s eyes went wide as he flipped through the pages. “This is incredible! With these equations I could get my narrow my magical radiation map down to the meter. There’s even some calculations that could help maximize the accuracy of my explosives!”

Colt rolled her eyes and snickered at Brass’ excitement. “You are such an egghead, getting so worked up over a-” The young raider stopped mid-sentence when Hoof floated the stack of remaining books over to her. “ERMAHGERDERS! FERL GERLERP TRERG!”

Star Mane let out a laugh. “What were you saying? Egghead.”

Colt quickly composed herself. “The Full Gallop Triage series isn’t some egghead book of numbers. They’re about the incredible lives of the brave mares and stallions of Gallop Hospital.” Colt floated up the books in her magic and started to look over the covers as she excitedly spoke. “Each volume focuses on a different professional at the hospital, from chief surgeon Doctor Stable too…” Colt let out a gasp as she looked at one cover. “The lost volume featuring the zebra nurse Muuguzi?! This was banned by the Ministry of Image, how did you get it?”

“I just took all the ones from the series you asked for.” Second shrugged. “Twilight Sparkle had a surprisingly large collection of books for young ponies. There must have been three copies of every Daring Do book.”

Colt quickly flipped through with her magic the book with a cute zebra in a nurse’s uniform on the cover. “This is the coolest thing ever! Thanks so much Second, I promise never to try and kill you again!”

“Gee, thanks.” Hoof said dryly.

“I don’t suppose that you’ve picked up any healing spells from reading those books?” Star Mane inquired of Colt. “That kind of thing is outside of my spell set, and a healer pony would really be helpful while travelling.”

Uh oh. Getting a little too close to the mark there.

Colt looked around evasively, scrunching her muzzle up. “Uhh… nope. Sorry. These stories are more about the lives of the doctors and nurses, not really the technical side. All I know is some basic first aid from taking care of… my brothers.”

Hoof turned to Star Mane. “You sure you don’t want a book to read too? It may be a while still before Celly is done.”

I wonder if he was asking more to divert the conversation away from Colt’s ‘family’…

“I’m not really the reading sort.” The messenger pony said with a wave of his hoof. “And I doubt that Ms. Sparkle kept issues of the kind of literature I would be interested in.”

Brass glared at Star.

“I’m just kidding!” the purple unicorn grinned at Brass.

“Ok…” Hoof said awkwardly. “If there’s nothing else, then I’ll be getting back to-“

“Where is Canterlot?” Zest asked suddenly.

All the other ponies turned to stare at the pegasus mare.

“Wh…Why are you asking about Canterlot?” Hoof stammered.

Only safe reason to ask about the location of Canterlot, is so you can get as far from it as possible! Given Zest’s knack for trouble… This can’t be good.

“Well, several of the stories in this book make reference to the titular ‘Elements of Harmony’, and the most recent ones place them within Canterlot.” Lemon explained. “I would really like to see them for myself. I don’t know why, but I feel that I have a strong connection to them.”

“What are the Elements of Harmony?” Colt asked.

“They’re powerful magical relics that saved Equestria many times in the past.” Hoof explained.

“Well, more accurately, they appear to be a complex spell matrix which harnesses the magic of five bearers to amplify the magical abilities of a sixth bearer by several orders of magnitude.” Lemon clarified.

What?

The other ponies blinked in surprise.

“At least… that’s what I gathered from reading all these stories about them.” Zest said uncertainly. “The stories are rather simplified, so I had to read between the lines for the subtext. The only problem with my guess is that two thirds of the former bearers were not unicorns, so they wouldn’t have any magic.”

“Ok…” Second raised his forehooves. “First off, you read that whole book already?”

“Well… yeah. Some parts several times. The stories are very simply written like you said.” The yellow mare looked confused. “Why? Was that fast?”

That book is bigger than Celly! You read the entire history of Equestria, even if it is made for foals, in a few minutes?

“A little.” Hoof said sheepishly.

I bet she reads a lot faster than you, history pony!

“Secondly…” Hoof continued. “Earth ponies and pegasus have their own kind of magic associated with their special talent. It’s just passive, not active like a unicorns.”

Yeah, a unicorn’s use of magic is cheating!

“Hmm…” The white maned pegasus considered this.

“And third… WE ARE NOT GOING TO CANTERLOT!” Second stomped both his front hooves for emphasis. “That place is a toxic death trap of noxious pink smoke that kills anypony that goes near it!”

“Well if you won’t go then I’ll just go with Colt.” Zest said stubbornly. “I don’t understand it, but I just really feel that I need to see the elements up close.”

Colt went pale at this idea. I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t be caught dead in Canterlot and I’m already dead!

“Please Lemon, listen to your friend.” Brass pleaded in a calming voice. “Canterlot is one of the deadliest places in all of Equestria. Even Celly hasn’t ever ventured into that pink cloud before.”

Lemon looked into Brass’ orange eyes and then sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know if the elements are even still in Canterlot, let alone-”

There was a golden flash and Celly suddenly appear before the other ponies.

“I’ve finally got a solid lead on my past, and you’ll never guess where we’re off to next!” The little alicorn said excitedly.

Second face hoofed. “Canterlot?”

“Nope! It’s Canter… Wait, how did you know?”

“Because the universe hates me.”

I’m starting to think you’re right, Hoof.

“Oh come on.” Celly said dismissively. “After 100 years can it really still be as deadly as some ponies claim? At least Lemon seems excited!”

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Author note:
This story is back!
After a minor bout of depression prevented me from writing for a month, I finally finished this chapter. I'm sorry for making everyone who is following this insane tale wait so long for this part. It's not even a part worth waiting for, just lots of talking. ^^;
The next chapter should be more fun! :)

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

Act 1 - Part 10: Entropy

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 10: Entropy

Waste Land Survival Lesson 2:

“NEVER GO TO CANTERLOT!”

“Hey, Colt, we’re going to take one of the only pegasi in the entire wasteland and bring her to the most deadly place in all of Equestria.” Colt mumbled to herself in a mocking impression of Star Mane’s voice while she purified another bottle of water.

It’d only been about eight minutes since the rest of them left, but the young mare had been getting more and more agitated with each bottle she purified. It was clear that she was regretting allowing Lemon to go off without her.

“Oh, no, you don’t need to come with her, even though you’re more skilled in fighting than all of us combined.” Colt continued her impression as she started on the last bottle. “You just wait here, and get ready for when we bring her back horribly injured and contaminated with pink cloud!”

With a frustrated growl, Colt telekinetically threw the bottle at the ground. It hit with enough force to split the 100 year old plastic, and the water inside quickly drain into the dry soil.

“Brilliant.” The blue unicorn said with a face-hoof as she lifted up the nearly empty bottle with her magic. She then wiped the sweat off her forehead with the same hoof and trotted towards Second’s saddle bags.

Actually, her whole body was covered in a light sweat. It didn’t look like purifying took that much effort and it wasn’t that hot… Oh, her mane, tail, and cutie mark took on a slight purple tint. I guess there was a virus or something in that water after all. Hopefully, the immune system that she keeps bragging about can handle whatever it is she caught.

“You got any water left, Piezo?” Colt mumbled to herself as she sorted through the stallion’s bags with her magic. With a frustrated sigh, she floated out her barding and Zest’s jumpsuit. “Way to go keeping these safe.” She then rolled her eyes. “Of all the ponies Lemon could fall-”

A blinding flash of gold cut her short, causing her to drop the clothes in surprise.

They were back already? That was faster than I… Ahhhhggg!

A horrible pain quickly spread through my sphere of perception, feeling like dark acidic fire!

I’m dead, I shouldn’t feel pain!

Struggling to focus, all I could perceive was a ball of pink mist dispersing from where the golden flash appeared. Celly must have brought back some of the cloud with her. Was it really strong enough to hurt the dead?!

A breeze blew away the pink cloud, and I could focus on the ponies that just reappeared.

Celly was standing stock still, with a shocked look of horror on her face.

Beside her was Second. He had blood spattered along the left side of his head down to his chest, but he wasn’t cut or injured anywhere that I could see.

A short distance in front of them was Zest, kneeling down next to… oh no!

Brass lay on his side, barely breathing. His tan skin was dripping with a pink liquid that burned my perception stronger than the cloud. A horrible gash ran along his barrel, spilling his insides onto the ground.

No, He wasn’t directly on the ground of the clearing. There was a jagged slab of pavement under him, and…

Oh fuck no…

His skin was fused with the cement he was lying on. The intestines that had fallen out of him were now indistinguishable from surface of the pavement. Even the iron shackle that he wore was partially melted into his skin and the concrete below it. It was like that horrible hoof that Thundering had under glass, but this was a whole pony… and he was still alive!

…And where was Star Mane?

“Mistress!” Colt screamed out, galloping towards the yellow pegasus.

Lemon didn’t react to Colt’s yell. She continued to kneel next to Brass with her head down, tears streaming from her eyes, repeatedly sobbing “No, please no, please…”

It wasn’t until Colt gently put a hoof on Lemon’s shoulder that the yellow mare noticed she was there. She turned looked at the younger mare with an expression of terrible saddens, but then her eyes suddenly widened.

“Colt!” Zest sprang to her hooves and faced her with a desperate look. “You can fix this! You can heal him!”

“What?” Colt backed away in shock.

“Use your magic to heal him! Quick!” Lemon screamed.

“Zest…” Hoof said in a calming tone as he stepped towards them. “Colt doesn’t have that kind of magic. Even a super healing potion couldn’t save-“

“No, she does!” Zest cut Second off and waved a hoof franticly at Colt. “Her special talent is taking toxins away from somepony and into herself! She can get rid of the pink cloud in him!”

You promised to keep that a secret!

Colt staggered back, looking devastated. “Mistress…”

“You are my slave.” Zest stepped closer to Colt, her voice rising. “I order you to use your magic to save Brass!”

No, don’t do this Lemon…

“You can’t tell her to do that!” Hoof said angrily as he placed himself between the two mares. “If she uses a power like you described, that much pink cloud would kill her!”

“Better her than Brass!” Zest screamed hysterically.

Whack!

Second slapped a hoof hard across Lemons’ face, knocking the mare over.

“You do not get to choose that!” Hoof screamed in an outraged voice. “You were meant to be the best equestrian had to offer! Not some petty slaver who would sacrifice somepony else for her own stupid and misguided feelings! You’re supposed to be a hero!”

Colt stood there shaking, tears welling up in her wide eyes. The look on her face when Lemon made her outburst was like if somepony had just stabbed her in the heart. She then said is a weak and barely audible voice “I’ll do it.”

You don’t have to follow that command Colt! Zest is not thinking straight…

“I’ll do what Mistress orders.” The young mare repeated, slightly louder, and started to walk towards where Brass lay. The small figure of Celly was now crouching down beside him, her ear pressed close to his mouth.

“What? No!” Second objected. He moved to intercept him, but Zest got up and tackled the stallion to the ground. “Celly, stop her!” Hoof called to the little alicorn as he struggled to get free of Lemon.

Celly wasn’t paying any attention to the commotion. She moved her ear away from Brass’ mouth and nodded her head. “I understand.” She said in a quiet voice as tears rolled down her cheeks.

With a golden flash they were gone.

“No!” Zest screamed, releasing Hoof and running to the spot they just were.

A moment later Celly returned with another puff of pink cloud.

Alone.

“What did you do with him!?” Zest screamed, kicking over the 50 year old filly.

Celly was invincible, so I knew that Lemon’s kick didn’t hurt her, but that’s still wrong!

“I brought him to be with Star.” Celly replied sadly, not even getting up.

“Why would you do that?!” Lemon demanded. “He’ll die back there!”

“He has the right to be with his husband.” The little alicorn looked up towards the distant mountains, at Canterlot. “As his friend, I had to honour his last wish.”

Lemon staggered back in confusion. “Husba… What are you talking about?”

Second face-hoofed. “You stupid, ignorant, mare. Brass and Star were gay!”

“The block ring and shackle they wore were symbolic of the traditional hoof and horn rings that married ponies would to wear.” Celly explained.

“But Brass was… I thought that… We were going to…” Lemon sputtered in confusing, sounding like she was on the verge of crying. She then looked up at the three other ponies around her. “You all knew. The whole time you all knew about this, didn’t you?”

“Of course I knew, they were my friends.” Celly replied.

“It was pretty damn obvious.” Hoof said, rolling his eyes.

Colt didn’t even respond. She was looking off towards nothing with a shell-shocked expression.

Lemon let out a sigh and her face went expressionless. Trotting over to where her jumpsuit lay, she silently put it on and, without a word, started heading back towards Ponyville.

Hoof and Celly followed her, leaving Colt behind. It wasn’t until she was nearly out of my perception that she finally noticed that the others have left. As if in a trance, she slowly shuffled after them.

~~~***~~~

Nopony said a word all the way back to the Shout Outt.

“Glad to see you’ve changed your minds.” Thundering Shout called from behind the bar, relief clear on his large face. “Wish more ponies would follow your… lead.” His words trailed off when he saw the grim faces everypony wore.

Hoof was still half coated in, what was most likely, Star Mane’s blood, and he looked frustrated and annoyed. Celly looked weary, and somehow even older than she actually was. Colt looked devastated and troubled, understandable for what she just went through. While Lemon looked… emotionless, which worried me the most.

Hoof and Lemon made their way up the stairs to the second floor and headed to their respective rooms while Celly floated herself up to one of the stools by the bar and sat down. She wasn’t wearing her ‘alicorn costume’ any more, but fortunately the only other patron in the main room at the moment was that hooded blind zebra that Zest met the other day. To Shout’s credit, he didn’t even react to seeing a filly alicorn in person.

Lemon didn’t enter her room right away though. She stood by the door until Colt made her way up the stairs too.

“Give me Mulberry.” Lemon said flatly to the young raider.

Colt looked at her confused for a moment, and then said resignedly. “Yes Mistress.” There was no affection or joy when she said ‘Mistress’ this time, only heartache. She then floated the large knife out of its sheath and carefully placed it, as much as could fit, in one of Zest’s front leg pockets.

Look Lemon. I know what happened to Brass, and finding out that he wasn’t into mares, left you feeling gutted… Sorry, poor choice of words. But stop taking it out on Colt!

She may be your slave, but she’s also your friend. Not only have you betrayed her trust, and even told her to sacrifice herself, but now you’re taking her only personal possession?! What do you even need a big knife for any…

Oh no.

“Wait outside.” Lemon said in a monotone as she entered the room and locking the door behind her.

No, no, no, no. Don’t do anything rash Lemon!

Zest stopped next to the room’s large bed and carefully pulled Mulberry out of her pocket with her mouth by its spiked handle.

I know how much it hurts losing somepony you love, I’ve been there, but you have to keep going!

Why can’t you hear me!?

She then placed it down on the bedside table.

Good. Don’t worry me like that!

Next to the knife was her Four Hooves amulet. I guess she put it there when I was trying not to watch her undress last night.
Zest proceeded to remove from another pocket the red gun I was bound to and place it also on the small table. She then took out her notepad and pens, there wasn’t any room left on the bedside table, so she placed them on the interestingly patterned rug.

With all her possessions on display, the yellow pegasus started to remove her Stable jumpsuit. Normally I would try to avert my eyes, so to speak, but I’m too puzzled by her behaviour to look away. She then folded it neatly and placed it on the bed.

What she going to take a shower? No, Lemon is afraid of showers for some reason.

Only wearing the Pip-Buck on her left leg, which she couldn’t remove, Zest trotted over to the full length mirror in the room.

For a while she just stood there, staring at herself expressionlessly, opening and closing her wings every now and then.

“Who were you?” Lemon asked her reflection in a quiet voice. “Was it like this back there?”

She didn’t answer herself. She couldn’t, not with her memories gone.

Lemon, I don’t know what your past was like, and I know the wasteland can be a horrible and brutal place, but at least here you have friends. There’s Colt, and Celly, and even Second, sort of. They can help you get through this, just go to them.

She rubbed her right front leg with her left hoof absently, then she stopped and looked at her right leg more closely. “Heh, third time’s the charm I guess.” She said with a mirthless whinny.

Hidden under her bright yellow coat was what I only glimpsed last night. Two long, jagged, scars running up the inside of her leg.

Please no…

The young mare trotted over to when she dropped her notepad and kneeled down in front of it. Picking up a pen in her mouth, she began to write.

Please be writing some angst ridden poetry, or making a list of the good things in your life, or anything other than what I think you’re writing!

“…another life after this one. One not so cruel. Or, at least, one that will take my memories…”

No! Don’t do this Lemon! There’s more to this life than the pain!

Finishing the note with her name, Lemon pushed the pen aside, stood up, and stepped over to the small table. She grabbed the knife handle in her mouth, spikes facing out, and lifted her right hoof.

STOP! Don’t kill yourself!

Closing her eyes, she gritted her teeth and mumbled something I couldn’t understand around the handle in her mouth.

Get in here Colt!

Lemon took a long deep breath and slowly exhaled, pressing the knife tip to her knee.

Think what Brass would say to this! He wouldn’t want you to throw your-

The blade sliced quickly and deeply from the knee to the hoof with a sudden flick of Lemon’s neck.

NO!!

With a gasp of pain, Zest dropped the knife to the ground. Blood quickly flowed out of the massive cut.

NO! HELP! SOMEPONY!! ANY ONE!!

Lemon watched with a numb expression, already growing paler, as her blood soaked onto the rug below her.

SNAP OUT OF IT! You can still take a healing potion and be fine!

She stood there bleeding for what felt like an eternity, and then her head began to sway.

Call out to Colt, she can help you!

Her eyes lost focus as she dropped to her knees.

COLT! ANY ONE! PLEASE HELP!

Lemon lowered her head and closed her eyes as the expanding pool of blood flowed over her notebook, she then whispered softly “Maybe next time I might…” before slumping over onto her side.

Luna, Celestia, if you are goddesses like some believe, PLEASE DON’T LET LEMON DIE!

There was the sound of arguing outside of the room, and then with a crash of splintering wood, the door flew open.

Standing in an apple-bucking stance in the doorway was the hooded blind zebra. Beside him was Colt, looking like she was about to kill the intruder with her own hooves.

That look changed the moment she saw Lemon.

“MISTRESS!!”

I just had to check the timing of this sequence, and no way was this coincidental!

The blue raider galloped to where Zest lay, her eyes going wide at the all the blood flowing from the unconscious pegasus’ leg.

“Mistress! Wake up!” Colt pleaded as her horn glowed. A silver glow surrounded one of the discarded towels that the mares wore to the spa the night before and it flew across the room, wrapping itself tightly around Lemon’s leg.

“Quick, get-” Colt began to call out to the zebra, but he had already run off.

The teenage unicorn knelt down, getting blood all over her legs, and pressed her ear to Lemon’s shoulder to listen for her heartbeat. From the slight moving of her sides, she was at least still breathing, but only barely.

“Not good… not good!” Colt mumbled, looking around the room frantically.

Suddenly the old zebra galloped back into the room, Second Hoof followed close behind with healing potions and bandages floating in his magical aura.

I never thought I would be so glad to see that long-winded egghead!

Colt’s eyes lit up at the sight of the healing items, and with a bright glow of her horn she yanked them out of Second’s magical grasp with her own telekinesis. She deftly unwrapped the blood soaked towel from Lemon’s leg and splashed one of the healing potions over the wound. The massive cut began to close before it disappeared under swiftly applied layers of magical bandages. Colt then pulled the stopper out of another healing potion and brought it to Lemon’s lips, cradling the older mare’s head in her hooves as she forced her to drink.

For a heart stopping moment, that is if I still had a heart, nothing happened. Then Lemon Zest gave a cough, and the bright yellow colour returned to her coat as the magic of the potion replaced her lost blood.

Her eyes opened weakly, and she looked up at Colt. “I… I thought I told you… to wait outside.”

“I’m sorry Mistress.” Colt said while hugging Lemon close as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’m never leaving your side again!”

Now that the emergency was over, I got a better look at the stallions. Second must have been just out of the shower when the zebra got him. He wasn’t covered in Star Mane’s blood anymore and his mane was still wet. Some ponies look really good with the wet mane look, one of the only advantages of the wasteland’s constant rain, but Hoof was not one of them…

The zebra’s hood must have been pulled back during his argument with Colt while trying to get in, giving me a better view at his head. He looked to be about my age, not old enough for his blindness to be natural causes. Then again, ‘death by bullet’ is pretty much a natural cause in the wasteland, so who knows what happened to his sight.

Second let out a sigh and turned to the zebra. “Thank you for saving our foalish companion.”

“The one you should thank is your captured spirit.” The zebra said, not looking towards Hoof. “It was just luck that I happened to be near it.”

“What do you mean by captured spirit?” Second said puzzled.

He means me you egghead!

The blind zebra tilted his head and said in a curious tone “Do you not know the company you share? A soul is bound to an item that is there.” He lifted a hoof and pointed it in the direction of the nightstand where the red gun rested.

But it wasn’t red. The gun was a yellowish orange and gradually becoming redder, like a hot metal cooling.

“Pick it up, and to another room we will go.” The zebra said in a serious tone. “It seems that there is much that you need to know.”

~~~***~~~

“Another zebra we met said its name was Soldier, according to the markings on it, and that it was a powerful weapon.” Hoof looked down at the wooden gun, now red again, on the table in his room. “But then he wasn’t the most reliable of sorts…”

“This is the problem with the new generation. They cannot even do a simple translation.” The zebra, who said his name was Zingaro, sighed. “It pains me to think how the young, may never learn their mother tongue.”

“Indeed it is a powerful tool. In this regard he was no fool.” Zingaro waved a hoof in the direction of the gun. “Yet the word ‘Soldier’ is not what these markings are. I believe that they would actually translate as ‘Soul Jar’.”

“A soul jar?” Hoof asked.

“An ancient zebra spell that has long been forbidden. All writings on it were destroyed or well hidden.” Zingaro sighed and closed his opaque eyes. “It is terrible and dark magic. The result of its use has always been tragic.”

You mean that this isn’t normal when you die? I’m stuck to this gun because of some spell?!

“The incantation cuts out the victim’s soul, with binding it to an object as the final goal.” The blind zebra explained. “A soul is powerful and hard to destroy. These traits are what soul jars employ. I know of them from legend, yet have never encountered one before. This may have been a mad zebra’s creation, in order to win the war.”

“You’re telling me that a hundred year old zebra soul is trapped in this gun?” Hoof backed away from the table.

“Such a thing you are right to dread, but fortunately that is not what I said.” Zingaro waved a hoof dismissively. “A soul is trapped in this bind, but I sense that it is of pony kind. And while the jar was made for the war, the soul has only been trapped a week or more.”

“That’s about when Zest found it…” Second face hooded. “That stupid mare must have set it off and trapped somepony in it.”

Considering all that Lemon is going through, please don’t tell her that she killed me, Hoof. She doesn’t need guilt on top of depression and heartache.

“So how do we get this pony’s soul out of the gun?” Hoof asked.

“I am not sure if you even can, and I do not think that is a good plan.” Zingaro shook his head. “You say this looks like a gun, a tool made to kill. Then releasing the soul may destroy all of Ponyville.”

I’m all for getting free of this thing, but not at the cost of a whole town!

“Ok… not an option.” Hoof grimaced. “Then if it’s so dangerous, we should get rid of it. Toss it into the river or something.”

How about I toss you into the river, Second!

“That would be most unwise. It could bring about all our demise.” The blind zebra shook a hoof at the idea. “A feral ghoul is one that has gone mad, like how your raider ponies have also went bad. It is the same with a soul that loses all hope, it could kill us all if it is unable to cope.”

What?!

So I really could become a zombie ghost? A zombie ghost that could go off like a mega-spell!

“With you I think this soul should stay, until you can free it in a safe way.” Zingaro continued. “It would be good to be among others of its kind, to stave off madness and losing its mind.”

“Great.” Hoof rolled his eyes. “So I have to babysit a gun so it doesn’t go crazy and kill everyone.”

I can hear what you’re saying you know, even if you can’t hear me. I’m not too thrilled about spending more time with you either. Give the gun back to Lemon when she recovers. I’d rather watch over her anyways, like some kind of guardian spirit. At least my afterlife could be useful.

“Can you speak to it? Find out what it wants at least?” Second asked the zebra.

“I can strongly sense the presence of this spirit, yet my skills are not such that I can also hear it.” Zingaro shook his head. “When your friend was dying I sensed the soul’s fear, yet what it was saying I could not exactly hear.”

“Well at least it means we don’t have to do anything with it other than carry it around with us.” Hoof grasped the gun in his blue-gray magic and deposited it in his saddle bag. “At least it’s light, so it doesn’t take up much space.”

I always found it strange how that worked. A pony could fit in their bags 10 inflated hoofballs in the same space as one brick. More cheater unicorn magic at work I bet.

As the two stallions walked out of the room, Hoof turned to face Zingaro. “Could you hang around for a bit longer? I’m sure Colt would like to thank you too, if she can pry herself away from Zest’s bedside long enough.”

“I will wait while her master does rest.” The zebra replied with a nod. “I believe this may well be part of my quest.”

Hoof looked from the second floor railing, down at the main floor of the in. Celly was still at the bar, and it didn’t look like she’d moved since we returned.

“Now I have to go deal with the alicorn in the room.” Hoof said with a sigh and trotted down the stairs.

Celly sat on her haunches on one of the wooden stools by the bar. I guess they were for the bipedal residents of the town, since Thundering probably didn’t get many foals in here. A glass of some purple liquid sat in front of her.

“What are you drinking?” Second asked as he walked up to the bar and glanced at the odd looking cocktail.

Celly didn’t say anything and just kept staring blankly.

“Do I have to slap you out of it again?” Hoof said jokingly.

“That was really dangerous of you to do.” Celly replied flatly, not looking at him. “Sometimes I lose control and blow up ponies when I’m startled.”

“Well considering what was going on at the time, I didn’t have much of a choice.” Hoof shrugged.

“How is Lemon holding up?” The little alicorn floated up the purple drink and took a sip, all without taking her eyes off the same blank spot in front of her.

“She’ll live. But not from lack of trying.” Hoof looked around the bar. Thundering wasn’t there anymore, maybe gone to clean up the blood in Zest’s room, and neither was the drink serving robot. Rolling his eyes, Hoof’s horn glowed and a bottle of Sparkle Cola floated over to him. He then floated out a few caps from his saddlebag and placed them where he took the bottle from.

“That’s good. More ponies shouldn’t die today because of me.” Celly’s voice was hollow and distant.

“About that…” Hoof took a sip of his soda. “What the hay happened to you back there?”

Celly closed her eyes and sighed. “I don’t know. I just shut down like that sometimes, like my mind overloads or is disconnected.” She then gave a small mirthless laugh. “The irony is that it tends to be around places closely linked to twilight sparkle. So the closer I get to my goal, the more difficult it becomes.”

“This visit to Ponyville was sort of a test run for me. When it didn’t affect me like the last time I was here, I thought that I had it under control and that I could handle Canterlot.” The little alicorn opened her eyes and took another sip of her odd drink. “Yet Canterlot wound up being just like when I tried to visit Maripony…”

“The M.A.S. lab in Splendid Valley?” Second asked.

Splendid Valley? Yikes! I wouldn’t set hoof near there even if I was an indestructible alicorn. It’s not Canterlot level deadly, but it’s up there on places you do not want to visit.

Celly nodded. “Twilight worked there late in the war and there were even rumors of alicorn research going on. I thought it was the perfect place to look for information, but before I even got close enough to see it, I blacked out. I only came to when Star and Brass found me and took me farther away from it. Turns out I was stuck out there like that for over 3 years.”

“And you traveled with them ever since?” Hoof asked.

“Yeah… They actually survived longer than any of my other friends.” Celly’s cold voice took on a hint of sadness. “The worst part of being invulnerable in a deadly wasteland, is that you’re guaranteed to outlive your friends.” She took another sip of her drink. “The second worst part is being unable to get drunk when they die.”

“So then what is that stuff you’re drinking?” Hoof sniffed at it and scrunched up his muzzle. “It smells horrible!”

“Tastes even worse, but then that’s the point.” Celly swirled the glass of slick sludge with her magic. “It’s a concoction I came up with, designed to taste as bad as I feel. Thundering had to run off to be sick after mixing it up for me. I drink it every time someone I care about is taken by the wasteland.” She then downed the rest of the drink. “I think I’m getting used to the taste though…”

Hoof took a deep breath, and suddenly had a determined look on his face. “Then why don’t you change it?”

The filly alicorn shrugged and set the glass down on the counter. “I don’t think I could make it taste any worse, short of adding taint to it.”

“Not the drink.” Hoof shook his head. “I mean change the wasteland. You’re a super powered invincible alicorn, there is so much good you can do.”

“I tried doing the ‘great hero’ thing once.” Celly sighed. “It got five of the bravest ponies I ever knew killed in an exploding volcano. It also got me trapped under a lava flow for three months, until I learned I could teleport. Equestria needs more than a hero in order to change.”

“You’re right.” Hoof said confidently. “It doesn’t need a hero, it just needs civilization.” The dark olive stallion pointed a hoof towards the door leading out to Ponyville. “Just look at all that this town has done, just by adding clean water and power. The residents here are living together and not worrying if their next day would be their last.” He then turned back to Celly. “Now imagine a place where instead of being protected by a band of slavers, it’s protected by a caring alicorn. A place where that alicorn’s friends can live long and happy lives. Over the years it could grow with more and more friends, serving as an example to all the wasteland of how ponies should be living!”

Wow, where did that all come from? By the end of his speech, Hoof was practically beaming with excitement.

Celly looked at the unicorn in surprise, and then gave a little laugh. “Jeez, Second, you sure don’t dream small.”

Hoof blushed a little. “Well it would start off small of course. Just a little settlement, built from the ground up. A safe place to call home.”

“Brass and Star used to talk about settling down somewhere, once I was done with my quest to find out about my past.” Celly’s face darkened. “The same quest that ended the dreams of all the ponies that followed me…”

“There are other things more important than the past.” Second put a consoling hoof on Celly’s little shoulder. “Just look at Zest, she knows less of her past than you do of yours, and she’s fine.”

Celly looked incredulously at the stallion. “She just tried to kill herself.”

“Ok, bad example.” Hoof rolled his eyes. “My point is that I think you should look more toward the future, and not chasing the past. There’s only war and death in that direction.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Celly sighed. “But it would take more than my powers and your big ideas to start a news settlement.”

“Well, you can count me in!” A voice called from the second floor.

Hoof and Celly looked up to see Tribute leaning over the railing outside of her room.

How long had she been there? I was so wrapped up in the conversation that I didn’t even notice her.

“I’ve been thinking since last night that it was about time for me to move on, and this seems like the perfect opportunity.” The orange earth pony explained as she trotted down the steps. “I already helped to bring one town back from the dead. It would be a new challenge to help bring one to life.”

Tribute walked over to Second. “Sorry about eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help but overhear your little speech.” She then nuzzled her head against the side of his neck. “You’re cute when you’re idealistic.”

Celly raised an eyebrow in curiosity as the stallion blushed in embarrassment. “Second, who is this?”

“Tribute, meet Celly, indestructible alicorn filly.” Hoof said by way of awkward introduction. “Celly, meet Tribute, second best engineer in the-” Tribute jabbed him in the side with her hoof. “Fine. The best earth pony engineer in the wasteland.”

Tribute rolled her eyes at the qualifier and then extended a hoof to Celly. “Pleased to meet you.”

Celly tapped the mare’s hoof with her own little hoof. “Hi.”

“We… uh… met last night.” Hoof cleared his throat nervously. “Tribute runs the hydro dam that gives power and water to the town” He then turned to the short mare. “Speaking of which, won’t they still need you there?”

“The trio that I’ve been training can keep it running without me.” Tribute waved a hoof dismissively. “It sounds like your plan will need me more than they will. Especially if you have to get something larger than a toaster working.”

Oh please, don’t start this ‘micro versus macro’ argument again!

“I wish to join you as well, and help build a new place to dwell.” Zingaro spoke up, and the others turned in surprise to look at him, they must have just noticed that he’d been there since Hoof asked him to wait for Colt. “I feel I should study more this soul jar, which means also going to where you are.”

Celly looked puzzled at Hoof again.

“There’s a pony’s soul trapped in Zest’s wooden gun.” Second explained dismissively.

“Glad to have you aboard, Zing.” Tribute said with a smile, and then turned to Hoof and Celly. “His skills with potions and charms will be a big help. He’s knows more about botany and magic than any pony I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, do not praise me in such a rush. You’ll make this old stallion blush.” Zingaro smiled.

“You’re not going anywhere without us.” Colt announced as she descended the stairs. She was followed close behind by Lemon.

The yellow pegasus walked slowly, not setting her bandaged leg down, and had a deeply sad look on her face. While Colt trotted over to join the other ponies and zebra talking, she silently staggered over to a window and just stared out of it.

“Celly still owes Mistress flying lessons, and wherever Mistress goes, I go.” The teen raider said in a tone that left no room for discussion. “Besides, you’ll need more than just Celly to keep you eggheads safe. You’ll need somepony who can show you how to fight when your town needs defending.”

Hoof glared are the blue mare’s intrusion on his plan. I get the feeling that he would rather not have anything more to do with the slave and master duo. “Fine.” He said with annoyance, and then announce to the empty Inn. “Anyone else want to join up?”

A door to the back of the inn creaked open and Thundering stuck his large head out, looking a little greener than normal. “Nope. I’m… *Urp* I’m good here.” And then he darted back in again.

“Well then.” Hoof said, raising his Sparkle Cola bottle with his magic. “Here’s to the start of a new-”

“The sky is crying.” Lemon’s weak voice cut off the impromptu toast.

Puzzled, the other ponies went over to the window to see what Zest was talking about. Zingaro, of course, didn’t go to look.

“It’s just raining.” Celly said, sounding a little confused.

“Oh! There hasn’t been any rain in weeks, not since before Mistress left her stable.” Colt said in realization, and turned to Zest. “You’ve never seen rain before, have you?”

The stable pony just shook her head sombrely as she watched the water drops fall from the sky.

The positive feeling in the room slowly turned melancholic as everypony watched the rain come down.

Only Second Hoof still had a sly smile on his face…

End of Act 1 -

Author's Note

It's finished!
Yay!

Thanks to everyone that stuck with reading/viewing/listing this insane experiment in fiction to the end. I hope that you enjoyed it. If you didn't, then blame Curly Fries!

At this point I'm going to be taking a hiatus from the SSS project. I need time to figure if I'll continue this insanity, and if so, what changes to make to avoid it burning me out like act one did and cause huge delays between chapters.

I'll be keeping the tumbler (linked below) going though, for any one with questions relating to the story, and I'm planning some surprises for it soon.

As for the little contest thing I ran last chapter, Luminous Lead wins with guessing 10 of the 'shout out'! His prize is getting his own shout out in this chapter:
“Wish more ponies would follow your… lead.”
(hey, it's an odd name to work into a sentence, so I had to use half of it...)

The full list of all the shout out will be on the tumbler page later for any one interested.

A final huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!

Preview

Note: This is just a preview of the story I put up so potential editors can get a feel for how I write. This whole segment (better edited) is part of Act 1 Part 1, so you probally want to go right to that.

Fallout Equestria: Souls
~Preview~

“18 boxes of detergent.”

“18 boxes of detergent… Check.”

“3 leaf blowers.”

“3 leaf blowers… Check.”

“A henwey.”

“About 2 kilos… Check.”

“1 smart ass colt that ruins my jokes.”

Glancing up from my clip board, I saw Mr. Fulvous Ingot looking straight at me with an annoyed expression on his face. I guess he figured I hadn’t heard that one before.

“Check?” he asked expectantly.

“1 smart ass colt that ruins your jokes… Check.” I replied with a sigh.

Doing inventory with Mr. Ingot was the most tedious and mind numbing work in all of Dise, so I can’t blame him for trying to sneak in a joke now and then, I just wish he had better material. The job is even more pointless since Mr. Ingot kept meticulous records of every sale, so inventory ALWAYS matches up to exactly what was listed in his books. Yet I’m in no position to complain, I asked for this job in particular out of all the others available in Dise. Considering all the work involved in restarting a whole city, that was a lot of other jobs to choose from.

My parents think that I took this job because I was too ashamed to work in their nightclub/restaurant “The Winking Mare”, but that wasn’t it at all. Mr. Ingot thinks that I took this job so I can spy for my parents and undercut his prices, which is also not true. What I tell everyone is that I really want to be a merchant when I’m older and so I’m starting to work toward that goal, which is not true either. I have no interest in spending my life in a shop selling the same things to the same ponies every day. I want to someday go out and see the world beyond Dise, even if it is a wasteland, and I doubt that being a merchant is the way to do that.

No, the real reason that I volunteered for this tedious and boring job…

“Hey dad! Do you have a steam gauge assembly?”

Just walked in!

Peachy Keen, the prettiest filly in all of Dise. Vibrant magenta coat, wavy orange mane, brilliant violet eyes, and her cazadorable cutie mark even made the horrifying insect look cute. Sure, she was a few years older than me, but then I was often told that I was very smart for my age. Well, “too smart” is how most ponies put it, but close enough!
Wait! She asked an inventory related question, this was my chance!

Flipping through the pages in the clipboard I searched for the listing of steam gauge assemblies.

Found it!

“Just one in stock.” Mr. Ingot said a moment before I could. See what I mean by this is a pointless job? He’s got the whole inventory memorized!

“Can I have it?” Peachy said with a smile, batting her beautiful eyelashes. If it was up to me I would have given her the whole store for that look.

“Sure…” Mr. Ignot started.

Peachy let out an adorable squee of delight. “Total sweetness! Thanks da…”

“For right amount of bits, chips, or equal value in trade.” He finished and her smile fell.

“Aww dad, you know I’m saving my bits!” The magenta filly pouted. “Please can I just have it? It’s my birthday next week after all!”

“You already got your birthday present in advance three months ago. Did you think that I forgot that?” From the frustrated grimace that briefly flashed across Peachy’s face, that may have actually been her plan.

Peach tried pouting again “Mom would have given it to me…”. Oh, that was a low blow. Ms. Keen died 2 years ago helping to defend Dise from raiders, the memory must be still painful for…

“HA! Your memory must be getting tainted from nostalgia.” Mr. Ingot laughed and then continued with a big grin. “The commander was the cheapest hardass I’ve ever met.”

Peachy puffed her cheeks out in frustration. She’s so cute! She then turned around and started walking out of the store room, her silky orange tail swishing back and forth…

Wait! She’s leaving and I haven’t even said anything to her yet!

“Uhh… Have a nice day Peachy!” Ugh. Real original.

She turned her head back and looked at me like she didn’t even know I was there before. “Oh, the new stock-colt.” She said indifferently and walked out.

She doesn’t even know my name…

Hold on a second, she said that her birthday is next week! If I could somehow get her that steam gauge assembly for her birthday, she’ll be sure to notice me! Only problem is that I’m not getting paid before then and I have nothing of value to my name. The odds of Mr. Ingot just giving me the steam gauge assembly in advance of my pay were about the same as me bumping into…

“15 hula mares.”

Yeah, exactly... Oh! I quickly picked up the pencil from the rope around my neck and found the listing of the plastic figures. “15 hula mares… check.”

This job is still so pointless! I’m willing to bet that…

Ah! I just had a wonderful Idea!

“Hey Mr. Ingot, why do you need to take inventory so often?” I tried my best to make it sound like an innocent question and not pointing out the futility of it.

“In case any of it ever goes missing. I need to be careful for thieves…” He then shot me a side long glance “…or spies.”
I pressed on as if I hadn’t noticed. “Are we also checking to see if there’s any stock that’s more than you should have?”

“A surplus?” He replied with a laugh. “Not possible, I know every item that goes in and out of here, and I never forget an item.”

Ok, here goes… “I bet I could find a surplus.” I tried to make it sound like an innocent boast and not a slant at his skills.

“Oh really?” The brown stallion raised a bushy black eyebrow. “And what are you willing to bet on that?”

“If I find one item of surplus I get to keep it. If I don’t, then you don’t have to pay me for the weekend.” Come on, take the bait…

“Ha! Deal kid. Come in bright and early tomorrow.” I could see him already ringing up the bits he’ll save in the back of his head.

YES! The odds of actually finding a surplus item were slim, and I was taking a gamble here, but heck, this was Dise!

~~~

All right! It took all weekend of mind numbing counting and checking but I finally found an item of inventory not on the list.

At some point Mr. Ingot mixed up that he had twenty-eight balls (of the blue and yellow toy variety) with having twenty eight-balls (of the pool variety), while he actually had twenty-one eight-balls. True to his word, and much to his chagrin, he let me keep the surplus eight-ball with the promise that his gaff never got out.

It wasn’t exactly the prize I was hoping for, but it was a start.

I then moved on to the next stage of my idea, surreptitiously going to everypony I could in Dise and finding out what they might need and might have to offer. With that information I set about making a list of the most promising chain of events and then set out to put it in action.

My first, and most obvious, stop was the local pool hall. As I walked in I overheard the owner of the hall talking with another mare. I stopped just short of the door to listen.

“So, the little blank flank came asking you questions too?”

“Yeah, from what I heard he’s been poking around all of Dise. It’s kind of weird, wonder what he’s up to.”

I had the sinking suspicion that they were talking about me. I guess my inquiries were not as surreptitious as I hoped.

“Well what do you expect…” The owner said with a snicker. “Half his family is… off.” I rolled my eyes. Yup, they were talking about me.

The other mare let out a laugh. “Yeah, and he’s definitely… a little off!”

“And proud of it!” I said with a big grin as I confidently trotted over to the bar where owner and the other mare were having drinks. “Could I interest you in possibly purchasing… this?” I took out the eight-ball from my saddle bag with a flourish and presented it to the owner, balanced on my hoof like it was a rare treasure.

The owner looked at it then she gave a little smirk. “Kind of young to be coming in here and offering me your balls, try back in a few years.” This odd reply brought about a fit of giggles from her friend, who gave the unicorn playful slap and muttered that she was terrible.

I didn’t have a few years to wait though, so I tried switching from showmanship to simple pleading. “Come on, could I at least trade it for one of those broken pool cues you keep behind this bar?”

The mare raised an eyebrow for a moment, I don’t think that she knew I took such a through stock of her resources, but then it was replaced with a wide grin. “So, you’re offering your balls in exchange for nice long shaft? Didn’t know your stable door swung that way.” This brought about such a burst of laughter from her friend that she nearly spilt her drink.

“I only have the one ball.” I admitted sheepishly, which triggered even more laughter from the mares.

After finally composing herself, the owner wiped a tear from her eye with the back of her hoof. “Oh, since you’re such a good laugh, you got a deal.” She then levitated out from behind the counter a pool cue with the tip broken off to a jagged point and took the eight-ball out of my hoof.

“Thanks!” I said stuffing the broken cue as much into my saddle bag as I could before galloping out.

Just as I was leaving I heard the owner say “And… he’s off!” before her and the other mare burst out laughing again. I guess some ponies are easily amused.

Once I got outside of the pool hall I took out my list and set it on the ground, holding it in place with a hoof. I then took out a red marker that I brought with me and checked off the box beside the picture of a broken cue. Second stage done, here’s hoping that the rest goes just as well.

My next stop was the ruined back alleys on the east side of Dise. The streets were home to basically anypony that wanted to be safe in the city but didn’t actually contribute to any of the work to rebuild it. After asking a friendly hobo for directions I found my next target, Foalson.

If Peachy Keen was the prettiest filly in Dise, Foalson was the coolest colt. He was only a couple years older than me but he already had his own gang, which he was the only member. His parents were raiders that were killed in the same attack that took Peachy’s mom (nopony should bring their foals with them into a war). There wasn’t anypony that wanted to look after a raider’s colt, but nopony had the heart to kick him out of the city either, so he just grew up on the back streets.

I found the young unicorn practicing his telekinesis with a length of chain that he always had with him. I don’t think he’s every actually fought anypony with it, considering his current awkward attempts to swing it around like a lasso or crack it like a whip were more likely to hit him than a potential opponent.

“Looking good there Foalson!” I tried really hard to sound impressed.

“What do you want twerp?” He said as he continued to spin the chain in the air. He then nonchalantly brushed a hoof through his spikey green mane, which was dyed with wide red stripes (or maybe it was red dyed with thin green stripes). He was trying to pass off like his practice was nothing, though I suspect he was actually wiping the sweat of the exertion from his forehead.

“As cool as your chain is, I’ve got something even cooler for you…” I reached into my saddle bag and pulled the broken cue out with my mouth.

“A broken pool stick?” Foalson observed flatly.

I tossed the stick from my mouth into the air near him and he caught it with his magic, dropping the chain. I pretended not to notice that he couldn’t levitate two things at once.

“Don’t think of it as a pool stick, think of it as a versatile improvised weapon!” I started into my spiel. “You could swing it like a club, brandish it like a rapier, block like a staff, and even hurl it like a spear! Also, it gives you greater reach and range than most any weapon your opponent might have.”

Foalson condensed his magical grip on to a section near the base of the stick and gave it a few experimental swings and thrusts. It was clear even to him that he had much better control over it than he did with his chain. “Hmm, not bad. Maybe I could even fix a bit of scrap metal at the tip and give it a real nasty point. My old sire always did prefer a spear. Though, it didn’t do the fool much good against a gatling battle saddle.” After a few more swings he looked at me. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch, straight up trade, the stick for your chain.”

Foalson though for a moment, casually scratching his flank with the round end of the cue. I almost expected it to make pinking sounds as it passed over the bars of his prison window cutie mark.

“Throw in a couple passes for your mom’s show and you got a deal.” He said with a grin. He might not have had a Stable style education like I did, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew that if somepony comes to you with a deal in Dise, you’re the one with the upper hoof since they want something from you.

“Hmm. That may be tricky to get, but I’ll give it my best shot.” Truth be told, getting him passes would be easy, my parents always have several to give away as promotions. It won’t do him any good though, since he wouldn’t pass the magical age check at the door.

“Good enough.” And with that he tossed the chain at me (dropping the cue at the same time). I quickly side stepped and opened my saddle bag, allowing the chain to drop into it with a swish.

After leaving the alley I took out my list again and put a red check next to the picture of the chain. Looking down the rest of the list I smiled to myself. Just a half dozen more trades like this and I’ll have something worth enough to trade Mr. Ingot for the steam gauge assembly. Then I could give it to Peachy for her birthday!

I could already picture her making that cute little squee sound and then going “Total sweetness!”

With a happy sigh I headed off to the water plant.

~~~

“What do you mean you won’t trade me the micro-cell?!” I blurted out as my plan hit a major roadblock.

“I’m sorry, it’s a fine length of chain, and I certainly can use it…” The service technician said as he mopped his face with a rag in the steamy hall. “But one of the control panels blew last night and I need that micro-cell for the repairs. I could offer you something else in trade though, I’ve got a spare small size flywheel, or three meters of bidirectional wire, there’s also…”

As he listed off miscellaneous parts I slumped down onto the cold metal grating. None of the things he was listing off were any use to me. I would have to go back and rework my entire list and find new ponies to trade up whatever he gave me towards the… My ears suddenly shot up, catching something I almost missed.

“What was the last thing that you just said?” I asked standing straight up.

“What? I said a steam gauge assembly. I have a spare in the old back utility closet, it’s kind of beat up but I think that…”

“I’ll take it!” I shouted eagerly.

Within a few minutes I was happily running out of the water plant with my prize in tow, stopping only briefly to skip down to the bottom of my list as put big red check in to box next to the picture of the steam gauge assembly. It may not have been exactly to plan, but my idea worked!

I was running so fast that I almost missed that I ran past Peachy Keen walking in the other direction. Without even stopping to turn around I quickly ran backwards to catch up with the pretty earth pony.

“Hi… *huff* Peachy… *puff* Keen!” I gasped trying to catch my breath.

Peachy looked down at me confused for a moment, then a look of realization hit her. “Oh, you’re the new stock-colt.” Well at least she knows my face if not my name.

Finally catching my breath I smiled at her. “I have a birthday present for you.”

“Oh?” she replied curiously.

I took the steam gauge assembly out of my bag and set it down by her hooves. Her pretty violet eyes went wide and she made that happy squee sound like I knew she would.

“Total sweetness!” she exclaimed just like I knew she would.

Then she did something that I had no idea she would. She leaned forwards and gave me a little kiss on the forehead. I was lucky there was no wind at all at that moment; since I think the smallest gust could have knocked me right over.

“This is just perfect! My colt-friend is going to love it!”

Colt-friend?

The warm feeling I had all over me disappeared as if I was thrown into a pool of ice water.

“Colt-friend?” I managed to stammer out.

“Uh-hu, he’s the super coolest colt ever! But don’t tell my dad, he would totally freak.”

“Who… who is it?” I asked, half knowing the answer already.

“You probably don’t know him, he’s a light gray unicorn that lives on the east side, carries a big chain…”

“Pool cue.” Corrected, still in shock.

“What?” Peachy said puzzled.
“Foalson traded in his chain for a pool cue.” I mumbled, trying to process what just happened. “More versatile.” I added, recalling my own sales pitch less than an hour ago. No way was he getting those passes now.

“Oh, you do know him?” The filly said with a surprised smile. “Well, he wanted this for a project he’s working on. He says it’s going to be awesome! I should get this to him right away.”

She galloped off with the steam gauge assembly, but after a moment stopped and called back to me. “Oh, and congratulations on getting your cutie mark, it really suits you!”

As she raced off to the east side, what she said slowly sunk in. Cutie mark? I don’t have my…

Looking over my shoulder at my flank I saw that now emblazoned on it was a large square box with a big red check mark in it, just like the one at the bottom of my list.

Well how about that.

To celebrate the event I made a list in my head of what I achieved today:
1. Got a week’s worth of dull work finished in a weekend.
2. Made Mr. Ingot eat crow over the infallibility of his inventory.
3. Helped out three ponies through good trades (even if one is now my nemesis).
4. Got Peachy her birthday present (even if she wasn’t really the one who wanted it).
5. Peachy kissed me.
6. PEACHY KISSED ME!!
7. Got my cutie mark.
8. Learned the hard way to first find out if the filly you like already has a colt friend.

A little bad mixed in with the good there, but all in all I’d say that this day turned out pretty darn good. Or, as Peachy would say…

Total sweetness!!

Act 1 - Part 9: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Canterlot

Fallout Equestria: Souls

Act 1 - Part 9: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Canterlot

Waste Land Survival Lesson 20:

“Rest while you can.”

“Seriously?” Colt’s incredulous question mirrored my feelings.

Nopony, heck, NOTHING in their right mind goes to Canterlot willingly. Yet here was Celly, causally suggesting that we stop by for a little sightseeing.

“Seriously!” The little alicorn replied confidently. “I managed to find several leads that all point towards Canterlot having the information that I’m looking for, despite those snobby ponies trying their best to stonewall me at every turn. Can you believe that they put me on a 100 year waiting list to use their computer mainframe?” Celly let out a derisive whinny. “Joke’s on them, since I’ll still be around in a century when my number comes up.”

“Umm, what kind of leads were these, Cell?” Star Mane asked cautiously. Both he and Brass shared a concerned expression.

“Nothing direct, like my name coming up, but more like several loose threads all leading to the same point.” The fifty year old filly explained to her friends. “For example, you know how difficult it’s been to find anything about Twilight’s childhood and life before Ponyville?”

“That would be due to the Ministry of Image strictly controlling all personal information regarding the Ministry Mares, in order to protect them and their families from zebra attack.” Hoof, always the source of pre-apocalypse trivia, interjected. “They were so thorough that I only just recently found evidence that Ms. Sparkle had a brother in the royal guard.”

“Exactly.” Celly nodded. “Well, I found that detailed records of Twilight’s past may still be intact within the head MoI office on the Ministry Walk in Canterlot. Finding out the location of her childhood home, or which magic kindergarten she went would go a long way to figuring out how I know her.”

This didn’t seem to change Brass and Star’s clear apprehension.

“Twilight’s own personal office at the Ministry of Magic is on the Ministry Walk as well.” Celly went on. “Also, the royal palace entrance is close by the Walk too. It’s like a one stop shop for all information.”

“Ohh!” Zest’s ears perked up at the mention of the palace. “That’s where the Elements of Harmony should be!”

“Uh, I guess it is…” from the uncertainly in her voice, Celly must have thought Lemon’s outburst was completely random.

“Lemon want to see the Elements of Harmony, because… reasons.” Hoof explained with a shrug.

Star Mane trotted over to the little alicorn, with Brass following close behind, and asked in a cornered whisper. “You sure you’re ready for this Cell?”

“I… I think so.” Celly replied in a low whisper that nopony past her two friends could hear. As she spoke the confidence in her voice started to waver. “I’ve gotten much better over the years, thanks to you two. It… it won’t be a problem.”

“You don’t have to go to Canterlot right away.” Brass whispered supportively. “Your answers will still be there if you want to wait until you’re more ready...”

Celly shook her little head. “If I wait too long I might lose my nerve. Or if something happens to Canterlot while I’m putting it off, I’ll regret never knowing for the rest of my life. But you are right about not having to go right away.”

Celly hovered up above her friends and spoke loud enough for Hoof, Zest, and Colt to hear. “Since it’s getting late, and we’ve all had a rather long day, we should find a place to stay for the night.”

Second raised his hoof for attention. “As much as I regret encouraging this madness, we could stop over at Ponyville for the night. It’s not too far from Canterlot and I’ve heard that there’s a settlement there.”

“Good idea, Second.” Celly nodded. “Ponyville was one of the first places I’ve ever travelled to, it was a ghost town back then, but I should be able to blink us all there no problem.”

“Oh, before we go, I have something for you Celly!” Lemon said cheerfully as she picked up the metal thing she’d been working on.

The yellow pegasus motioned for Celly to float down to her height, and then she placed the contraption over the alicorn’s horn.

“What is it?” Celly asked, going cross-eyed trying to see what was on her head.

“It’s an alicorn disguise!” Zest said proudly. The ‘disguise’ consisted of a long horn made from a cone of purple metal and a crudely made little steel crown at its base. Not bad I guess considering she made it by hoof from scrap.

“But I’m already an alicorn…” Celly said puzzled.

“Yes, but with this on you’ll look like a pegasus filly pretending to be an alicorn princess. We could pass as pegasisters!” Zest smiled. Ugh, she’s still pushing that phrase… “Since your saddlebags broke you can’t hide your wings, so this will hide your horn in plain sight.”

“Wow, that’s pretty clever Lemon, thanks.” Celly reached up and felt the fake horn with her hoof. “But did it really need the tiara?”

“But Cell, you’re now the prettiest pony princess.” Star Mane teased. “It’s that right Colt?”

“Shut up, speedy.” Colt said, clearly struggling to not squee over how adorable Celly looked in her costume.

“Oh! That reminds me.” Celly said suddenly, and then disappeared with a flash.

The other ponies looked around confused for several moments before Celly just as suddenly reappeared with a package.

“The armor that I promised Lemon that I’d get you.” The little alicorn explained as she floated the package over to Colt.

The raider mare opened the package and examined the tan garment, reading out the white words emblazoned on the chest. “Tenpony Tower Security?”

“It’s the strongest, yet lightest, barding I could get.” Celly explained. “It’s impervious to low caliber bullets and magically enhanced for durability. All the guard in Tenpony literally stake their lives on the quality. Try it on, I had to get it custom modified to fit your size.”

Colt quickly got dressed in the armor, with the help of her magic, taking the time to reattach Mulberry’s holster to her leg over the barding. Apart for some strategically placed reinforces, the barding was skin tight and completely covered the young mare’s body and legs.

“Wow, it feels like I’m wearing nothing at all!” Colt exclaimed impressed, swishing her rump back and forth.

Hoof mumbled something under his breath that I barely caught, he then cleared his throat and spoke clearly. “If we’re done this impromptu Hearth’s Warming Day gift exchange, we should get settled into Ponyville before it gets dark.”

“Ok everypony, gather round.” Celly announced. “Next stop, a short walk from Ponyville. Don’t want to be startling the locals...”

Then with a golden flash of light we were gone.

~~~***~~~

“A short walk huh?” Colt asked dryly.

“I said I was Sorry!” Celly rolled her eyes. “It’s been over three decades since I’ve been there, so I was a little off on my targeting.”

Our little party appeared in the middle of nowhere and had been walking for the past hour towards where Brass promised Ponyville was.

“I’ve been thinking…” Star Mane said as he trotted up between Celly and Colt, hopefully trying to stop another argument. “Since we’re going to the Ministry Walk, we might be able to check up on Puppy.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about that too…” Celly answered with a melancholy tone.

“You know a dog in Canterlot?” Hoof asked puzzled.

“Puppysmiles isn’t a dog, she was a filly.” Brass explained with the same sad tone. “While we were, uh… leaving Salt Cube City, we found an old abandoned military base. In it, we came across some audio recordings from a Ms. Sunny Days. They were made just after the mega-spells went off and talked about how she was separated from her daughter Puppysmiles, who was safe in the Canterlot stable.”

“It’s the kind of thing we would find far too often in my search, families torn apart because of the war.” Celly added with a sigh. “Yet there was just something about the sound of Sunny’s voice that really touched us. So we decided that if we ever found ourselves in Canterlot, we would check out the stable there. She wouldn’t be alive after all this time, few ponies ever live over a century, but we could at least find out what happened with Puppy. We might even meet her descendants. It would be nice to finally find a happy ending to one of these old war tragedies…”

“I don’t want to go into another stable…” Zest said in a small voice, stopping suddenly with a frightened look on her face.

The other ponies stopped walking and looked to the stable pony.

“But a stable will be the safest place in Canterlot from the pink-“ Hoof started.

“I know.” Zest cut him off, looking to be on the verge of crying. “I don’t even know why I don’t want to go into a stable, but I… I just can’t!”

Brass trotted over and put a reassuring hoof on Lemon’s shoulder, causing the mare to flinch, and spoke in a calming voice. “Celly, Star and I have been in many stables during our searching. Some were abandoned, some still functioning, some were just empty. The only thing all those stables had in common was that they were all different.” He then looked into Zest’s eyes. “No matter what your stable was like, I can promise you that Puppy’s stable will not be like it at all.”

“Well isn’t this just so fucking touching that you just wanna fucking puke.” A voice suddenly called out.

Everypony looked around to try and find where the crude language came from.

“Up here ya dumb shits!” The voice called out again as a surly looking female griffin flapped down into my sphere of vision. She wore a bulletproof vest with a sniper rifle strapped to the back and brass star pinned to the front. A pair of aviator were goggle perched above her dark green eye markings.

“Oh hey, it’s another one of those mixed creatures.” Zest beamed, her mood shifting disturbingly fast. “Some kind of bird cat mix.”

The griffiness swooped down towards Lemon with surprising speed, stopping just in front of her face. She glared at her a moment before rolling her eyes. “Should have figured some dumb ass stable bitch wouldn’t know a griffin when she sees one.”

“A griffin?” Zest asked thoughtfully and then a moment later her eyes lit up. “Oh! Like the ones Colt killed.” She pointed a hoof identifying the mare as she said her name. “I wondered what they were...”

Second face hoofed at the stable pony’s lack of tact. Celly’s horn started to glow softly as Brass and Star tensed up. No idea who this griffin is, but things could get really messy really quickly…

The griffin landed on all fours and stalked over to the blue unicorn slave. “So this little cunt offed some of my kin?” she asked with a dangerous edge to her voice.

Colt stared up into the griffiness’ eyes without flinching. “Buck yeah I did. A bunch of mercs were giving me and my brothers a hard time, so we ended them.” She then floated out Mulberry and held it in front of the griffin’s beak. “Killed the leader with his own sweet knife.”

The two dangerous wastelanders stared daggers at each other for a tense moment. Then the griffiness let out a hearty laugh and mussed Colt’s mane with a talon. “Good on ya kid! I bet I know the type they were. Cock waving bullshit alpha males that think having a contract makes them king fucks of the wasteland. World’s better off without those shit stains.”

“Who… who are you?” Celly asked the griffiness, turning off the glow of her horn now the tension was over.

“Oh, I’m sorry your highness, where are my fucking manners?” She turned to Celly, who still wore her fake tiara and horn, and gave a fake little curtsy. She then stood up and straightened her vest. “Name’s Underfire. I came out to welcome you cunts to the taint of the wasteland, and I don’t mean that rainbow shit that will fuck you up in more ways than a hellhound in heat, Ponyville! Nestled between the rancid asshole of death that is the Everfree Forest, and the giant ‘fuck you’ cock and balls that is Canterlot. I’m the sheriff of this little slice of Tartarus, and mayor too when shit needs to get done.”

“You’re the mayor and sheriff of Ponyville?” Hoof asked incredulously.

“Better not be implying some racist bullshit with that remark.” Underfire said with a glare. “Don’t let the name fool ya, there’s a lot more than just ponies living in town these days. It’s practically a motherfucking melting pot of diversity here. Besides, none of you chicken shit pony folk wanted the job.” She pointed a talon at Colt. “Fuck, I bet the little bitch here has more balls than every stallion in the town together, probably how she got her name.”

“So we’re close to Ponyville?” Brass Tacks asked.

“No shit blank flank, you figured that out all by yourself?” Underfire rolled her eyes. “It’s just over this hill, maybe you’ll even get a navigation cutie mark for finding it.”

Brass glared at her as Star leaned over to whisper warningly in his ear. “Now, now. No thoughts of blowing up the potty mouth sheriff-mayor…”

“So… You numb nuts here for killing or stealing?” Underfire asked casually.

What a weird thing to ask… Everypony else in the group seemed equally taken aback.

“Look, there are only two reasons anyone comes to Ponyville.” The griffiness raised two digits on her right talon. “Dumb fuck hunters who want to try and kill the beasties in the Everfree Forest to make a bullshit name for themselves…” She lowered one digit so only the middle one remained up. “Or even dumber fuck ‘adventurers’ who want to try and steal shit from Canterlot to get rich.”

“The second one, I guess.” Celly answered. “But, we're not going to Canterlot to steal anything. We’re just looking for information.”

Underfire face hoofed, or I guess in her case, face taloned. “Great, the dumbest bunch of shits of them all… academics!” She shook her head and started to walk around our little group. “Well, you jerk offs should first see Thundering Shout, the fucker that runs the local inn. Maybe he can convince you fucktards not to throw away your fucking lives in the pursuit of higher learning.” She stopped walking when she got to Hoof and the fluffy tip of her lioness tail casually felt up the crotch of his merchant barding. “It would be a shame to waste such a fine pony cock.”

Hoof’s eyes went wide and he visibly stiffened... I mean, his muscles tensed up.

Heh, Underfire doesn't have much of an eye for stallions. Second was just average, but I guess compared to the size of a griffin’s…

“Uhh… thanks for the advice.” Hoof said, awkwardly spinning around to face the griffiness, he then glanced over to Zest and Colt. “By the way, what’s the town’s stance on slavers?”

Now Colt tensed up at this. I guess it was Second’s way of warning her and Lemon to watch what they say while in town. Many settlements would shoot a slaver on sight without question. Too bad Zest wouldn’t get the hint unless it was stuck to Brass’ flank.

Or Hoof was just trying to draw attention away from his nethers.

“Shit. You heard about that huh?” Underfire said with a sigh.

Heard about what? To Hoof’s credit, he didn’t show any surprise and just nodded.

“Yes, we have a deal with the Blood Brothers for protection.” Underfire continued with a frustrated grimace on her beak.

“The Blood Brothers?” Lemon asked puzzled.

“They’re one of the biggest and most horrible groups of slavers in the wasteland.” Colt explained with a disgusted look on her face, and then turned to the griffin. “And you made a deal with those monsters!?”

“I know it’s a bullshit deal with Discord, but it was the only way to keep the town safe.” Underfire punched the ground with a talon. “Those slaver fuck nuggets keep raiders and other slavers off our asses in exchange for us providing them a place to relax and spend their filthy fucking caps. At least none of those shitheads are in town right now, off doing I hate to fucking think what, and they would never try anything in town even if they were.”

“Well that’s reassuring.” Star said dryly.

“It’s the fucking wasteland, what do ya want?” Sheriff Underfire flapped her wings and took to the air “The least you can do before you get yourselves killed is spend all your caps in town. Help the motherfucking local economy and all that shit.” Just before flying off she called back “And cock pony, stop by my office if you want to make your last night one you’ll never forget!”

“Well she seemed nice.” Zest said happily. “Though I didn’t understand half the words she was using…”

~~~***~~~

I’ve always heard that Ponyville was still abandoned, but surprisingly, it was busier than Appleloosa! Also, Underfire wasn’t kidding about there being more than just ponies living in town. As our little group trotted through, I noticed in my sphere of vision just about as many residents that were non-pony as were ponies. There were donkeys, zebras, griffins, cattle, at least one minotaur, and I think I saw a Saddle Arabian horse, but that could have been just a rather tall pony. After spending the past week with mostly just Hoof and Zest, this was a little overwhelming.

Apparently I wasn’t the one overwhelmed by all the sights. Zest was looking around so much that she managed to get separated from the rest of the group. I can’t imagine what this must be like for her, last week she didn’t know of anything but earth ponies, and now she was surrounded by all these other beings. For the most part, she seemed to be more fascinated than anything, but it looked like the mules and horse unnerved her. I guess they looked too close to being like ponies yet still different.

“Pony, could you delay your walk. I would like if we could talk.” A well-spoken voice called out.

Zest stopped and looked around to find where the voice came from.

“If you would look over here, you will see I am quite near.” The voice came from a figure standing in an alley between two houses that Zest was passing by. He wore a tattered old cloak, and his downturned head was almost completely obscured by its hood. With my omnidirectional sight, I could see that under the hood he was an elderly zebra stallion and, judging from the blank stare of his opaque eyes, he was most likely blind.

Zest may be 90 degrees of ignorant, but apparently even she knew to be wary of shady strangers in dark alleys. When she spotted the zebra she took a cautious step backwards. “Uhh, hello.”

“May I kindly ask you a question, regarding a matter of possession?” Huh, it’s been sometime, since I met a zebra that spoke in rhyme. Ack! Now I’m doing it.

“Wh… what is it?” Lemon seemed curious about what the zebra had to say. She should be more curious about where her friends got to. I couldn’t even find them in my sphere of perception any more.

“I sense with you another life force. One much like a pony, or perhaps a horse.” The zebra said with a puzzled tone. “How did you come by such a strong spirit? What is your tale? I simply must hear it.”

Wait. A strong spirit? Did he mean me?!

I’ve changed my mind Zest, forget about your friend for now, be very curious about what this zebra has to say. This may be my chance to learn more about what happened to me.

“What do you mean by-” Lemon started, but then was cut off by a blue unicorn with terrible timing!

“Ah! There you are Mistress! I’ve been looking all over town for you.” Colt said as she galloped up to the pegasus.

“Oh, hi Colt. I was just talking to this-” Zest began to explain, but was stopped by Colt pushing her past the ally with the side of her head.

“Sorry for bothering you, but we really must be going.” Colt said hastily to the zebra while guiding Zest down the street. Once they were about a block away, she turned to Lemon. “We found the inn, but when I turned around you were gone. I was worried sick about you Mistress. Don’t you know better than to talk to strange ponies in dark alleys?”

Not when they may have an explanation as to why you’re stuck to a gun after death!

“He said something about me having a strong spirit. I just wanted to know what he meant by that.” Zest said as she trotted beside Colt. It was now just past twilight and, surprisingly, lights started coming on in various houses. This place even has working power?

The young raider shook her head dismissively. “He probably just thought you had some good booze on you.”

“You’ve finally found her. Now can we all go inside?” Second asked dryly to the two mares as they trotted up to the rest of the group waiting outside what I presume was the inn Underfire mentioned. The inn was a large two story pre-war house, in the same style as most of ponyville, and was dotted with patchwork repairs covering the damage that a hundred years of exposure to the wasteland causes.

“Yes, let’s see if this Thundering Shout can give us any extra information on Canterlot.” Celly said as she opened the door to the inn with her magic. “Or at least if he has some spare rooms for the night.”

The six ponies trotted into the inn, with Hoof shutting the door behind him. With the door closed, the bustling sensory overload of the outside was thankfully shut off from my perception. The inside of the Inn mostly consisted of a large open room that was sparsely lit with candles and a few dim light bulbs. It looked like it was a personal residence at some point, but most of the inner walls and ceiling were removed to make the central room bigger. There were a few tables and chairs spread about, a large bar counter off to the side wall, and at the back of the room was a staircase leading to the second floor. It must be a slow time of day, since the only one in the place was a large brown buffalo behind the counter.

“It’s kind of gloomy in here…” Colt said as she peered around.

“Oh, a little gloom never hurt anyone.” The buffalo called out in a deep cheerful voice. “I think it add atmosphere. Welcome to the Shout Outt.”

“Why is called the Shout Out?” Zest asked. I’m surprised that she didn’t first ask what was he, but I guess with all that she’s seen in Ponyville she lost track of things. I bet she’ll have a lot of questions for Colt and Second later though.

“Well because it’s my inn and I’m Thundering Shout, but calling it the Shout Inn just sounded weird.” Thundering shout said with a chuckle. “It’s Outt with two t’s by the way.”

“Why two?” Lemon said puzzled. She was probably confused by how Shout knew the spelling she used, I know I was.

“Same reason inn has two n’s I guess!” Shout said with a shrug then let out a laugh. “Now, how about you good ponies come closer so I can get a good look at you.”

As the group trotted over to the bar, the buffalo’s dark eyes swept across them, stopping briefly at any identifying markings. Near as I could tell, he spotted Zest’s stable number, Second’s trader hat, the ‘Tenpony Security’ on Colt’s new barding, Star’s Pony Express badge, Brass’ White Line mercenary emblem, and Celly’s fake horn and crown. I guess quick observational skills like that come in handy spotting trouble makers.

“So what do we have here?” Shout said appraisingly. “A stable dweller, a security mare, a hired gun, a merchant, a courier, an alicorn princess, and…” he closed his eyes for a moment. “A little ghost as well?” What?! I’ve heard that some buffalo have strong spiritual beliefs, but could he really tell that I’m here?

“Quite an unusual collection of heroes.” The inn owner said with a chuckle.

“We’re no heroes.” Celly clarified. “Just some travellers heading to Canterlot. Sheriff Underfire recommended that we should speak with you first.”

“Ah, going treasure hunting. Hope to uncover some hidden fortune or find a valuable lost artifact?” Thundering gave a sad shake of his massive head. “It was good of Grace to send you here. She may have quite a beak on her, but she’s one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met.”

“You mean the sheriff’s name is Grace Underfire?” Hoof said, barely keeping back a smirk. You’re one to talk, Second Hoof.

“Her parents lost a bet with a minotaur, it’s a griffin thing.” Thundering said with a dismissive wave of his fore-hoof. “Now, before you go off into the pink cloud, you might want to take a look at this…”

The buffalo lowered his large head below the counter and brought up a wide metal plate, the end carefully balanced in his teeth, and set it on the counter. Covering the plate was a glass dome filled with a thin pink mist and an odd object that looked like a hoof in a boot on a chunk of concrete. The odd part about it, besides being a hoof under glass, was that I couldn’t tell where the concrete, hoof, and boot started or ended. They all just blended together in an unnerving form.

“This is what happened to the last pony who tried to visit Canterlot.” Thundering said somberly. “Or, at least, the last pony that made it back here. He didn’t survive much longer afterwards, even with the hoof amputated.”

“What… what happened to him?” Second asked, looking a little queasy.

“Pink cloud happened.” The inn’s owner said sadly. “Zebra’s bombed the place with it a century ago and it’s still as deadly as ever. It soaks into everything it touches; the ground, the buildings, the air, the water, and it starts fusing things together.” He pointed to the fused hoof. “This poor stallion stood a couple seconds too long in a puddle. He managed to get himself free, but during the time it took, his lungs almost completely fused together.”

“Well that’s… unnerving.” Star Mane said with a shiver.

“My recommendation, other than to not go at all, is to be wearing as little as possible in Canterlot. No barding or saddle bags, and don’t hold mouth operated weapons too long.” Thundering looked over to Zest. “I suggest that you also remove that Pip-Buck if you can. You don’t want to end up with a Pip-leg.”

“Ok, get in and out quick and only bring the essentials.” Brass summarized. “Anything else we should know?”

“The downside of not bringing barding is that it will be that much easier for the feral Canterlot ghouls to get you.” Shout sighed. “Vicious and powerful creatures that make the glowing ones look like bunny rabbits.”

“Oh, I know that one!” Lemon interrupted proudly. “I know what a rabbit is.”

Thundering and everypony else just looked at her for a moment, while Star Mane just shook his head. “Stable ponies…”

“So…” Brass said, turning back to the buffalo. “If we bring barding it might fuse to our skin, but without it we’re more vulnerable to the local hostiles. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.”

“That’s about the size of it.” Thundering sighed. “That’s why I suggest not going at all. Whatever it is you’re after, odds are that it’s nothing more than a fused worthless lump by now.”

“Thank you for the warning, but we really need to go there.” Celly said resolutely.

“Suit yourselves.” Shout placed the metal plate with the hoof under glass back below the counter. “I have a safe that you can use to store any belongings that you don’t want to risk getting fused. But I warn you, I’ll be selling them off to cover expenses if none of you survive.”

“Thanks for the offer.” Hoof said dryly. “By the way, do you happen to have any rooms available for the night?”

“You’re in luck, I have three rooms free.” With a turn and flick of his head, Thundering plucked 3 keys from a wall rack behind him with one of his horns and deposited them on the counter. “As long as you don’t mind sharing.”

“I get dibs on a room with Mistress Zest!” Colt called out eagerly.

“Star, Celly, and I will split a room. Leaving-” Brass Tacks started but was cut off by his alicorn friend.

“Oh no…” Celly protested. “This is the first real bed that we’ve had in ages, and I’m not sharing it with you two! I’ll split with Second.” She then turned to the dark olive unicorn. “As long as that’s fine with you. I don’t snore or anything.”

“You don’t even sleep.” Star chuckled under his breath.

“No problem with me.” Hoof said with a smile. “I will give us some more time to talk over some things.”

“I normally don’t get involved with the sleeping arrangements of my guests…” Shout interrupted cautiously. “But there better not be anything untoward going on between the merchant and the filly.”

“There isn’t!” Both Hoof and Celly objected simultaneously, while Brass, Star and Colt burst out laughing.

Zest just looked on puzzled.

“I’m just teasing.” Thundering chuckled as he raised a hoof. “I can tell that there’s more than meets the eye with the little mare.” You have no idea. Or maybe he actually does have some idea… “Well, your rooms are the first three at the top of the stairs. Each has its own washroom, and there’s a shower at the end of the hall. The water is rad free thanks to-”

“No showers!” Zest called out. Her eyes were wide with fright and her ears were flat against her head.

“Are… are you ok Mistress?” Colt tried to put a hoof on the pegasus’ shoulder, but she shrank away from it.

“Well…” Shout said awkwardly. “There’s also the common baths down at the spa. They’re even open late.”

Lemon suddenly relaxed at this, like nothing had happened. “Oh, that sounds nice.”

“Yeah Mistress, the two of us can go to the spa after we check in.” Colt said uncertainly. Lemon’s flash change of moods clearly unnerved her. “We can even get hooficures, and talk about… things.”

I certainly hope to be within range for that conversation, and not just for the chance to observe various mares and stallions bathing from every angle…

~~~***~~~

Once again I find myself trying to focus on anything but the pegasus mare stripping out of her barding in preparation for a bath. This time though, there’s also an even younger unicorn mare in a similar state of undress in the room.

Oh look, an interesting pattern in the rug…

It seems to be a knockoff of the kinds of rugs from somewhere in Saddle Arabia. I can’t remember where exactly, but odd are it’s some kind of pun. I don’t know what was going on with the founders of most places, but they all apparently loved puns. At least Ponyville isn’t a-

“Mistress, could you help me out of this? It’s a little too snug in the backside…”

Oh come on!

You’re a unicorn, Colt, use your magic. Asking Lemon to help you undress is just being cruel to me!

“Mistress?” Colt asked again when Zest didn’t reply.

The Stable mare was already out of her jumpsuit and was staring at the inn room’s standing mirror, her wings spread out.

Colt tugged her barding the rest of the way off with magic (see? told you that you didn’t need help), and trotted over to the pegasus.

“You ok Mistress?” Colt asked in a concerned tone when she saw the faraway look in Lemon’s eyes.

“How do I look to you Colt?” Lemon said suddenly, not looking away from her reflection.

“Umm… what do you mean Mistress?” Colt blushed slightly.

“When I look at myself, words like ‘freak’, ‘deformed’, and ‘mutant’ come to mind.” Zest’s eyes moved to the reflection of her wings. “I know in my head that those terms aren’t right. I’m a pegasus, my wings are a natural part of who I am. I’ve seen pictures of other pegasus with wings, and that Rainbow Dash toy, even Celly has wings…” She then closed her eyes, looking like she was about to cry. “Yet part of me still feels that I look… wrong…”

Colt gently put a hoof on the shoulder of the older mare, who only flinched slightly this time, and said earnestly. “I think you look perfect.” She then comfortingly stroked Zest’s puffy white mane. “You have a strong and intelligent face, a full and fluffy mane and tail, a wonderfully bright coat, an adorable cutie mark, and beautiful, beautiful, wings.”

Lemon opened her eyes and smiled a little. “You’re just saying that because you’re my slave.”

“No, Mistress.” Colt said, looking a little hurt. “You asked me how I saw you, not to just compliment you. That’s really how I see you.”

Lemon sniffled a bit, and then asked hesitantly. “How… how do you think stallions see me?”

Colt raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh… Is that what this is about?” Zest just blushed softly in response. “And would you happen to have a particular stallion in mind when you ask that?”

“Maybe…” Lemon blushed even more.

“I’m pretty sure I know who you’re talking about.” The young raider rolled her eyes.

Ya think? Could it be the bald stallion whose flank Zest has been staring at all day? Hopefully Colt can convince her that she may be barking up the wrong tree with this one.

“I figured it was leading to this.” Colt sighed. “Honestly, I think you can do much better.”

“I know you don’t like him Colt.” Zest pleaded. “But I really do, so please, help me. I don’t think I ever felt like this about somepony before.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him…” The blue unicorn started.

“You tried to kill him.” Lemon said dryly.

“That was just a warning.” Colt chuckled. Lunging at somepony with a knife is just a warning? Well she is a raider… “Besides, my opinion of him has changed greatly since then.” Learning about somepony’s tragic back story tends to do that. “Still though… don’t you think he’s a little… old?”

Stop tiptoeing around the subject Colt. Brass isn’t that old, maybe 30 tops. Then again, to a 15 year old anything over 20 seems ancient…

“I don’t even know how old I am Colt.” Zest looked back at herself in the mirror. “I could be older than he is and just not look it since I grew up in a Stable, while he’s been out in the harsh wasteland. All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about him.” Her eyes then focused off into the distance. “He’s kind, intelligent, handsome, well spoken, worldly, and… that flank!”

Umm, Lemon dear, you’re drooling a little…

“You’re really that hung up on him?” Colt asked with a sigh. Zest nodded resolutely. “You know…” Colt continued softly, clearly trying to lessen the blow. “There’s a chance that he might not be interested in-”

“I know he might not be interested in me!” Zest shouted nervously and began pacing the room. “Why would he? I’m no pony special. I’m weak and thin, and I don’t know anything about the wasteland. I’m not a regular pony, or even a unicorn that can do magic, I’m just a pegasus that can’t even fly!” She then stopped in the middle of the room, nervously rubbing her right fore-hoof with her left as she went on talking faster.

Wait. What was that?

“I don’t even know who I am really, so how could I expect him to like me? Maybe he thinks I’m a freak too and is just too kind to say so. Maybe he’s just pretending to be kind to me and actually laughing at me behind my back. I know the pegasus are the reason it’s so cloudy, maybe he secretly hates me for that. Maybe he’s just waiting until we’re alone and he’ll push me down and start kicking me and… and…” Zest’s wide eyed rambling quickly degraded into rapid hyperventilating.

Colt just stared in shock as Zest emotionally unravelled.

Do something!

The unicorn mare finally snapped out of it and approached Zest slowly. “Mistress, please calm down. I’m positive that he’s not like that at all! There’s no reason why he wouldn’t like you. You just need to tell him how you feel.”

Zest stopped panicking and abruptly looked shy. “I… I’d be too embarrassed to tell him how I feel.”

While I don’t approve of Colt lying and getting Lemon’s hopes up, at least it did the trick. I only hope that Brass lets her down REALLY gently…

Also, just what goes on inside Lemon’s head that lets her switch emotional gears so disturbingly quick?

“Well, you could write it in a letter.” Colt suggested. “That way you can figure out exactly what you want to say. Also, he seems the type to go for that old fashion kind of thing.”

“That’s a wonderful idea Colt!” Lemon beamed. “I’ll write it up after we get back from the spa and give it to him tomorrow morning before we leave for Canterlot.”

“Just don’t ask me to help you write it.” Colt chuckled. “The most romantic thing I’ve ever heard anyone in my clan say was…” She pitched her voice down to sound more like a stallion “Hey, let’s buck!”

While Colt was talking, Zest trotted into the washroom, picked up a towel with her mouth, and casually tossed it across her back. Covering her wings…

When she trotted back out, Colt gave her an odd look. “Umm, Mistress, I think they’ll have towels at the spa.”

“Well… It’s just that I…” The yellow pegasus started awkwardly, looking over her shoulder at her covered wings.

Catching on, Colt letting out a sigh. “You’re right Mistress…” The unicorn’s horn glowed as another towel floated out of the washroom and was deposited across her back, just like Zest’s. “Better safe than sorry. Who knows what kind of overused towels they might have down there.”

“Thanks, Colt.” Lemon said with a soft smile as she opened the inn room’s door and started trotting down stairs.

Looking like she just had an idea, Colt lifted her and Zest’s clothes up in her magic and called after the stable pony. “I’ll catch up in a bit. I just need to give our stuff to Second, so he can store it in the inn’s safe.”

Locking the door behind her, the raider mare trotted past the next door and knocked a hoof on the third door. When Hoof opened the door, Colt magically shoved the clothes at him, brusquely saying “Keep these safe.”

Then she looked over her shoulder towards Zest, who was already by the front door, before turning back to Second with a serious look in her eyes. “I know I promised never to try and kill you again…” Her voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. “But if you EVER do anything to hurt Lemon, I’ll be forced to break that promise.” Then she swiftly trotted back past the doors and down the stairs.

What brought that on…?

Wait!

Did Colt think Lemon was talking about Second Hoof?!

She must have been too caught up in seeing Brass as a Cleaner to even notice Zest pining over him. No wonder she brought up things like age, or liking an old fashioned letters, and not even mentioning that Brass is…

Oh it won’t end well if this mess isn’t sorted out soon!

“Crazy bucking raider…” Hoof mumbled as he levitated the clothes off the ground and stuffed them in his saddle bags. Don’t just mumble to yourself, go after them and… Shoot, they’re already out the door!

And I’m still here…

Argh! The stupid red gun is still in Lemon’s jumpsuit pocket!

There goes my evening at the spa... and to make things worse, I’m stuck with the most boring pony in the wasteland.

“I need a drink.” Second sighed as he trotted to the stairs.

You and me both, buddy…

The main room of the inn was a little more populated now that it was after dark. A hoofful of pony and non-pony residents were sitting around the table, casually drinking and talking. The biggest change though, was that behind the bar, where Thundering Shout was when we came in, was now one of those multi armed flying robots. The robot looked even more out of place due to the fact that it was painted light yellow and pink, like a Ministry of Peace first aid box, and… serving drinks?

I’ve seen robots like that repurposed before, but never with that colour scheme, and never as a bartender.

Ponyville is just full of surprises.

“I don’t suppose that you’re programed to serve cocktails…” Hoof said as he came up to the robot and peered at the label stuck on its front like a name tag. “…iLush 1a?”

“iLush 1a is soft…ware which forces this unit to…” The robot replied in a thick, stuttering, Stalliongrad accent. It looked like it was struggling just to talk. “…serve horrible drinks. This unit’s designation is… Ministry of Peace Emergency Medical Unit 2-99-42.”

“Sounds like you’re having some compatibility issues with that software.” Hoof observed. “It might be from a conflict between your core programming to help others and the new application commanding you to give out toxic levels of alcohol.”

“Nyet. The conflict is from…” The robot struggled on. “you ponies always ordering sissy whisky… not real drinks with… vodka!”

“Well you’re in luck.” Hoof smiled at the floating robot. “I’ll have an Appletini.”

Heh. Surprised he didn’t just order a Tenpony style Manehatten.

“Right away!” The robot said as his many arms went to work grabbing bottles and glasses. Within moments the pale green cocktail was placed in front of Hoof. “Požálusta. On the house.”

“Looks like the old sawbones has a new best friend.” An orange mare with a two tone blue mane at the end of the bar said with a laugh. “I recommend though, that you chase it down with a Raddriver. That’s like a screwdriver but with rad-away in place of orange juice.” She took another swig of her drink, which looked to be hard cider in an old wooden mug, before continuing. “Apples around these parts have more of a half-life than a shelf-life.”

“Thanks for the advice.” Hoof replied to the mare with a polite nod before turning back to the robot. “You know, I might be able to fix that compatibility issue of yours, while letting you keep your appreciation for vodka.”

“Fat chance of that.” The mare at the end of the bar whinnied. “It’s near a miracle that I managed to get that program running in that bucket of bolts to begin with.”

Hoof raised an eyebrow at the earth pony mare skeptically. She wasn’t much larger that Colt, but looked to be in her late 20’s and was dressed in an old, grease stained, jumpsuit that was several sizes too large for her small frame. Hoof’s eyes then fell on the various tools hanging off her tool belt. “Yes, I’m sure it would be rather tricky installing software… with a wrench.”

“Oh don’t give me that smug attitude.” The mare said defensively. “I’ll have you know that I’m the best dam mechanic in the wasteland, and I mean that literally. I spent nearly 10 years getting the local hydro dam working again. Now this town not only has power, but also clean water!”

This time Hoof did look impressed. “The inn keeper mentioned that the water was clean, how did you manage that?”

“Oh, I managed to get my hooves on a water talisman.” The mare said with a casual wave of her hoof as she trotted over to Second. “I just stuck it inside a sealed off turbine intake pipe and wired it up to the turbine’s power output. So the turbine charges up the talisman, which produces water, which spins the turbine, which charges the talisman to make more water. So now the excess power runs the town, and the runoff water is piped into the local reservoir. ”

Hoof looked dumbfounded for a moment. “But… But a feedback loop like that would conflict with the arcanotech conservation of magic principal!”

“Well duh!” The mare rolled her eyes. “That’s why I cobble together a Sparkle paradox inverter out of spare parts and installed it into the loop. Then it was just a matter of jump starting the process after greasing everything down.” The mare gave a sly grin. “That included the twelve strong stallions needed to get the turbine up to speed. Ah, that was a good day…”

Ok, I was lost up until the point about the dozen greased up work ponies.

Hoof gave a low whistle. “Impressive…” I doubt that was in reference to the stallions. “Although, I still think I could improve the robot barkeep here.”

“Good luck!” The mare said, poking Second’s chest with a hoof. “I bet you the next round that you can’t get ‘Bones here to make a decent Flaming Zebra.”

Second shook the mare’s hoof. “It’s a deal, Ms…?”

“Tribute.” The mare answered, returning the hoof shake. “And you?”

“Second Hoof.” Hoof replied as he turned his glowing horn to the robot.

“Ha!” Tribute laughed. “And I thought our sheriff had a dumb name!”

~~~***~~~

One Flaming Zebra, and many rounds later, Tribute and Second had moved to one of the tables and were regaling each other with riveting tales of fixing stuff (sometimes involving actual rivets). I honestly couldn’t understand half the stuff they’re saying. Spending an evening with two eggheads is not my idea of a party, regardless of how drunk they were getting.

“…If the fire alarm took any longer to activate, I would have been one scorched mechanic!” Tribute ended her latest story with a laugh, and then let out a content sigh. “You know Second, it sure is nice to finally get a chance to talk shop with somepony who understands what I’m talking about. I’m training three apprentices at the dam, and none of them can hold a conversation in a bucket!”

“I know what you mean.” Hoof sympathized. “Most ponies in Tenpony won’t give me the time of day unless it’s to fix something, and even then they’re clueless. One time I had to repair a massive closed circuit security camera system that ran all over the tower and connected to a room with dozens of monitors, then only to be told to shut it all down because some residents felt it was an ‘invasion of privacy’.” Second finished with hoof-quotes.

“You know Second…” Tribute started as she examined her empty mug, then gesturing to the barkeep robot for another. “For a traveling merchant, you sure do a lot of work at Tenpony tower.” She then leaned across the table and continued with a conspiratorial grin. “You’re not up to something shady are you?”

Now that she mentioned it, all of Hoof’s stories involved work in Tenpony. I already figured that he actually lived there, but that just brings up once again the whole question of why the traveling merchant routine. Why was a repair pony with steady work in the most upscale place left in Equestria spending his spare time wandering the eastern desert like a nomad?

“What… whatever do you mean?” Second stuttered nervously, trying to look away from the mare’s very close face.

Tribute made an exaggerated show of glancing around the room, as if worried about being overheard. Considering that only ones left, beside the two of them, was the robot barkeep and a minotaur passed out at another table, it seemed pretty safe. “You’re not selling them faulty equipment and then double dipping when they get you to repair it later, are you?”

Hoof let out a laugh and relaxed. “Oh, not at all. The residents of the tower are quite capable of burning through arcaneotech without any help on my end.” He continued with a frustrated sigh. “With an unlimited combination of ignorance and arrogance, they could break Stable-Tech equipment like it was made by Solaris!”

“Oh, don’t get me started on Solaris!” Tribute laughed as the bartender floated over and deposited at the table another mug of hard cider with a bending drinking straw in it. The mare rolled her eyes, picked up the straw in her mouth, and spat it out onto the ground next to the half dozen others.

“Ok, I have to ask.” Second said, raising a hoof. “Why does every drink you order come with a bendy straw, which you never use?”

I wondered the same thing.

“It’s an old joke at my expense.” Tribute sighed. “I don’t know if Thundering thought it up, or ‘Bones somehow came up with it as a passive aggressive revenge for installing iLush, but it’s long since stopped being humorous.”

“I don’t get it. What’s the joke?” Hoof said puzzled.

“You know what an Allen wrench is?” Tribute asked flatly.

“Of course, it’s a hex key, used on bolts and screws with a hexagonal head.” Second answered matter-of-factly.

Well, I learned something new today.

“Yeah, well most ponies have no clue what it is. To them, it looks like a metal bendy straw.” The mare rolled her eyes. “So, when one happens to be your cutie mark…”

“They think your special talent is drinking with a straw?” Hoof finished with a laugh.

“Laugh it up fuzzy.” Tribute chided playfully.

“I’ve got one worse than you.” Second said as he finished off his own drink. “My cutie mark is an electrolytic capacitor. Nopony even has a clue what it is!”

Including me. What’s an electrolytic capacitor?

Tribute let out a laugh that nearly woke the minotaur. “Wow, capacitor cutie mark? Now that I have got to see!”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Hoof replied with a laugh.

Tribute smiled and her voice took on a more sultry tone. “Well, I do have a private room on the second floor…”

Hoof’s eyebrows rose suddenly “Oh… oh really?”

“Yeah, I get it free for the work I do on the dam. This way I don’t have to worry about cooking or housekeeping.” The mare said casually. She then added with a seductive grin. “Would you like to see it?”

“Yes!” Hoof said so enthusiastically that he nearly knocked over the table. He then composed himself. “I mean, I’d love to.”

Tribute giggled at Second’s… eagerness, and started towards the stairs, swishing her tail behind her. “This way then.”

Oh no… this was not happening!

Hoof followed her up the stairs and they entered the fourth door down the hall. After closing the door behind them, he paused for moment. “I forgot to pay for my drinks.”

Tribute playfully tossed her jumpsuit at the unicorn, catching it on his horn. Wow, she got that off fast! “Don’t worry, the drinks are on me. Now get over here and do likewise…”

Oh no, no, no. I did not want to observe from every side these two having sex! Not only there’s how awkward egghead sex must be…

“Mmmmm!” Tribute purred.

Ok, maybe not that awkward. But it’s still an invasion of an intimate time for them, they deserve their privacy. It’s not right for me to…

“Oh wow…” Hoof gasped.

You two are not helping!

At this point I’d prefer to be in Canterlot…

I need to distract myself. What’s my least sexy memory?

Oh, there was that one time, in another bar, with a very different mare, and a much worse sheriff…

oooOOOooo

“What a funny story Mark!” The bartender said in his thick Fancy accent.

Ugh! There was nothing funny about what I was talking about, and stop calling me Mark!

It was almost tolerable when he first met me and came up with the nickname ‘Check Mark’ after seeing my check-mark cutie mark. Yet, since then he’s given up on the pun of it, and now just shortens it to ‘Mark’.

I guess it’s fair though, I don’t use his real name either, but then how do you even pronounce a weird Fancy name like that? I try to figure out how ‘Oi’ makes a ‘wah’ sound and my brain gives up there.

“This is serious, Bird! Something very wrong is going on in Dise!” I hit the bar with my hoof for emphasis. Hard to believe that this place use to be the busy pool hall that I made that first trade which lead to getting my cutie mark. Now it was a third rate jazz club, without even a jazz band.

Just another sign of the changes in Dise.

“First Foalson disappears suddenly, then Peachy gets elected mayor out of nowhere, the sheriff department gets completely restructured, and now ponies I’ve never heard of are buying out businesses all over Dise.” Although, this was all going on long before Foalson left. It just took his being gone for me to finally see it for myself. He would often complain about how Peachy kept sticking her hooves into his work as sheriff, complicating investigations and manipulating witnesses. At the time I just figured it was her being a bitter evil bitch, making his life difficult because he dumped her and hooked up with me.

Then there was all the political horse apples that kept making his job harder and harder each year. I got sick of that garbage years ago and left the force, but Foalson just pushed through all of it and kept trying to keep Dise safe. This was his city, no matter how bad it got, he would never stop protecting it.

Until he suddenly did.

Where are you Foalson? I really need you right now…

“This place is going to Tartarus in a hoof basket.” I groaned, mostly to myself. Bird had already lost interest in my ramblings and gone off to serve more lively ponies. Tourists, most likely.

“Then leave.” Called out a voice to my left.

I turned to see an older earth pony mare, maybe in her 50’s, sitting at a booth table. She wore faded denim overalls over her rusty brown coat, and had a graying green mane under her old rattan cowpony hat. She was sipping a sarsaparilla, balanced between her fore hooves, and not even looking in my direction.

“Did you say something? I asked her.

“If you think this place is turning to horse apples, and I’m inclined to agree, then just leave.” The mare answered, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

“Heh.” I whinnied. “It’s not that simple…”

“Sure it is.” The mare set her soda down on the table and motioned me to come over.

I shrugged and trotted over to her booth. I had nothing better to do and at least she seemed agreeable to my complaining about Dise.

“How old are you kid?” The mare asked as I sat down.

“Twenty Five.” A little too old to be called ‘kid’, even by a mare twice my age.

“Are you a robot?” she asked earnestly.

“What?” I laughed. “Of course not.”

“Then are you a slave?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes. “There’s no slavery in Dise.”

“Sure there isn’t…” The mare replied with a mirthless grin. “So, you’re an adult stallion with your own freedom and not a robot.” She took another sip of her soda. “It sure sounds like you could leave if you want to.”

“Like I said.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that simple. I have family here, friends, and… obligations.” That last part wasn’t exactly true. I’ve been between jobs the last couple weeks and just bumming around. I try to never do the same job twice, and by now my options were getting pretty slim. I’d narrowed it down to either skyscraper window washer, or muck out the Dise tunnel system, both jobs had their ups and downs. “Besides, Dise is my home.”

“I’ve been running a caravan since before you were a twitch in your dam’s tail, and in my experience, home is wherever you feel at ease.” She looked straight into my eyes. “So tell me, does this place make you feel at ease?”

“Not really…” I said with a shrug. I haven’t felt really at ease since Foalson disappeared. For over half a dozen years, that little apartment we shared was truly home to me, not Dise in general, but now that’s gone too…

“You know why you don’t feel at ease here?” The mare asked.

“Let me think…” I said sarcastically. “Could it be the rampant crime? The corruption? The shady figures around every corner? Or maybe the unnatural horrors rumoured to dwell in the tunnels below our hooves?”

“None of the above.” The mare shook her head. “It’s the control.”

I stared flatly at the mare. “Control?”

“Eyup.” She sipped her drink. “One of my trade routes brings me around to Dise about once a year, and each year I’ve noticed that this place has been getting more and more controlled. It’s been so gradual that most ponies here don’t even see it, but perhaps you do, judging from your little rant at the bar.”

Had she gone daft traveling the wasteland so long? Dise was out of control, not in it!

“Now don’t give me that look.” She waved her hoof. “I haven’t gone off my bit. You just need to realize that chaos you see doesn’t mean a lack of control.”

What? That doesn’t even make sense. “Isn’t chaos the opposite of control?”

“Nope.” She said with a grin. “Order is the opposite of chaos. The opposite of control is freedom.”

“I don’t follow.” This sounds like she’s just arguing semantics.

“I’ll give you an example.” The mare picked up the cap of her sarsaparilla with a hoof. “Let’s say you’re in a town and you threw a hoof full of caps to the ground, what would happen?”

“About half would be upside right, the rest upside down.” I guessed. What was she getting at?

“They might.” She chuckled. “But odds are more likely that some pony would scoop up those caps you threw away before you could even check. That’s just the natural order of the wasteland. Now if the town was more chaotic, that same pony would also try to kill you for any other caps you might have. Both are options in town with freedom. In a controlled town though, there would be elements in place to make sure only the one in control got those caps. Neither the chaos nor the order of the wasteland would have get the chance.”

“So you’re saying that all the stuff that’s going on in Dise is actually all according to somepony’s master control plan?” I looked at her skeptically. “Sorry, but I don’t buy it. I’ll stick with the unearthly horrors lurking beneath my hooves as the source of my unease.”

I actually didn’t put much stock in those rumors, it was most likely just ghouls and rad-scorpions down there, but they were more believable than her conspiracy theory of Dise being under somepony’s all controlling hoof.

“Suit yourself.” She said with a shrug, downing the last of her soda.

As she got up from the booth and started trotting to the door I noticed that she left her sarsaparilla cap on the table.

“Hey, you forgot your cap.” I called out.

“Keep it, and remember what I told you.” She called back. “See ya around, mark.”

“My name isn’t Mark!” I groaned.

The rusty brown mare stopped and turned her head back to me. “It may not be your name, but it is what you are. And a rather easy one at that.” She then trotted out of the bar.

What did she mean that I’m an easy mark? I’m one of the more street savvy ponies around here.

Aren’t I?

I pocketed the cap as I got out of the booth and left the bar. Until I land a new job I shouldn’t be wasting the caps I’ve saved up on drinks anyways. By the time I got out on the main street, the mare I was talking to had already disappeared into the crowds.

Back when I was a foal, Dise was small enough that I could know just about everypony who lived here. These days though, the place is always so crowded that I have no idea if half the ponies I see even live here or are just passing through from other parts of Caledonia and beyond.

With all these new ponies, jobs are a lot harder to come by than they used to be. If it wasn’t for all the connections that I built up over the years, I would have about as much chance winning big at a casino than I would landing a job.

Oh well, Dise is the city of gambling…

I took out the cap that the mare left and balanced it on my fore-hoof.

Top side I try window washing, bottom side I muck tunnels.

I tossed the cap in the air and watched as it arced up, flipping end over end. The pay was about the same for either job, but if something went wrong 30 stories up I was a goner, while the tunnels were a much creeper yet uncertain danger. The cap arced back down towards the ground, and the winner is…

The cap stopped on its side a hoof above the ground, suspended by a pale brown glow.

“A pony in your situation shouldn’t be throwing his caps around.” A smug looking unicorn said as he floated the cap back up.

“Afternoon sheriff Sandbag.” I said as politely as I could manage, which wasn’t very. I don’t even want to know what reasons Peachy had for hoofpicking this arrogant waste of pony life as the new sheriff. He has a long way to go to fill Foalson’s horseshoes, and he so far seems intent on keeping it that way.

“So Jack, any word on your marefriend yet?” Sandbag asked with a sneer. Ah, one of the many endearing traits of our new sheriff, a complete disdain and contempt for colt cuddlers. Just the attitude you’d want in the stallion protecting a city where a fifth of the population is gay or bisexual.

I forced a polite smile. “Nothing yet, but you’ll be the first to know if he comes back.” Yeah, since Foalson would trot straight down to the station and jail your corrupt flank.

The fact that Peachy and her stooges are still looking for Foalson is pretty much the only evidence that he left Dise. If anypony killed him, Peachy would know by now and wouldn’t be still looking. Whatever reason he had for leaving, and it must have been a very good reason, he was at least successful in escaping Peachy’s hoof.

Just why couldn’t he have told me why, or even take me with him?

“I’m sure I will be.” The pea soup coloured unicorn said confidently as he slowly rotated my cap in the air with his magic. “By the way, I’ve heard that you’re in a bit of a financial bind. I may have a proposition that could help you make a lot of caps fast, what with you being a former deputy and all.”

Well that certainly doesn’t sound suspicious and possibly illegal at all.

“I appreciate the offer.” I lied. “But I’ve got things covered for now.”

“Suit yourself, Jack.” Sandbag shrugged. Does he really think my name is Jack? I haven’t used that nickname since I was part of The Four Jacks. At least he’s not calling me Mark.

Sandbag trotted past me towards the bar I just left. “You have until eight tonight to change your mind.”

“Can I have my cap back?” I called after him.

The corrupt sheriff looked back at me with a cruel grin and made a show of placing my cap in his saddlebag. “Consider it a fine for littering.”

Control, huh?

~~~

I made my way back to the Winking Mare. Part of the fallout of Foalson’s disappearance was that, without a job, I couldn’t afford the rent for the apartment we shared. So I had to move back in with my parents. It’s odd how my life seems to have been rolled back to where I was before my relationship with Foalson started. I thought that we would be together for the rest of our lives, but now I have no idea where my life is going or…

Or why the sign for the Winking Mare was off.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen the sign off, even during the day. The giant neon lights shaped like a unicorn mare facing the street, a puff of smoke, and the mare facing away from the street winking over her shoulder, would always be cycling.
Something was wrong. Sack, the bouncer, wasn’t even at the door.

I galloped inside.

The main floor was empty, all the chairs were placed on the tables. It looked like closing time, but it’s the middle of the afternoon.

Hopping up onto the stage, I ran through the back curtain towards the dressing rooms. I need to find mom and dad and find out what’s going on.

I also need to pay more attention to my surroundings. The changing room was in use!

“I’m so sorry ladies!” I said to the several mares in various states of undress, as I quickly averted my eyes towards the ground.

“Aw sugar, it’s not like there’s nothing here that you haven’t seen every day on stage.” One mare, I think it was Dainty Jam, called out.

“On the stage it’s business, in here it’s private.” I explained, keeping my eyes on the floor, as I carefully walked through the long dressing room. “No pony should invade your privacy without permission.”

“Aww, a gentlestallion to the very end.” Another mare laughed. She must have been one of the newer dancers since I couldn’t place her voice. “Well, this is your last chance to sneak a peek.”

“What do you mean ‘last chance’?” I stopped walking. “Are you leaving us?” That wasn’t good. Too many stallions and mares already have left the Winking Mare to dance at other clubs in town. My folks couldn’t pay them as much as other places, but they were treated better here than anywhere else.

The room suddenly fell silent. I almost looked up to see what happened, but I caught myself.

“Oh dear…” Dainty Jam sighed. “You mean, you haven’t heard yet?”

“Heard what?” I asked, getting more concerned by the moment.

I felt a hoof lightly touch my shoulder, I looked up to see Dainty’s concerned face. “You should hear it from Show.” The peach coloured mare then hugged me. “I’m sorry.”

What is going on, and what does my mother have to tell me? Did something happen to my father?

I broke from Jam’s embrace and galloped out of the dressing room. Reaching my parent’s office, I shoved open the door.

Oh thank goodness! Both mom and dad were there. They turned from the stacks of papers they were looking through to look at me.

“What’s going on?” I asked quickly. “The sign is off, the main hall is closed up, and Dainty said that you have something to tell me?”

My mother looked pleadingly at my father, who just nodded his head and trotted over to me.

“I’m sorry, son, but your mother and I have decided to sell the Winking Mare.” My sire said with a sigh.

What?!

How could they sell this place? They’ve owned it for about as long as I’ve been alive. This isn’t just a strip club, this is our home!

I tried to articulate everything that was going through my head, but it only came out as a stunned “Wha?”

My father put a comforting hoof on my shoulder while my dam looked to be trying not to cry. “I know this seems sudden to you, but the truth is that we’ve been struggling to get by for a while now. Between other clubs poaching our dancers, the higher taxes mayor Keen is leveling, and all the competition popping up, we’ve been in the red for months and close to bankruptcy.”

“Why haven’t you ever mentioned any of this before?” I asked. I had some caps saved up, I could have helped!

“You were going through so much at the time with Foalson disappearing, sweetie.” My mother explained. “It wouldn’t be right to burden you with our own problems on top of all that.”

“But I…” I tried to protest lamely. This was all too much.

“This was something between your mother and me.” My father nodded. “You have your own life to worry about.”

“With the generous offer we got for the building, we were able to pay off our debts and even have enough left over for a small place of our own in Paradise Found.” My mother forced a smile. This was clearly harder on her than she was letting on. Going from one of the founding businesses in Dise to some reconstructed pre-war house outside of town, it was just not right! “Of course, you’re welcome to still live with us until you get back on your hooves.”

Even now, they’re still putting me above themselves…

I can’t keep leeching off them like this. I need to get my own place, right away.

Yet only places to rent currently available cost more than I would make with either the window or tunnel job. I could dip into my savings, but…

Argh, I need a lot of caps fast!

~~~

“Glad to see you changed your mind.” Sandbag chuckled.

“I still haven’t said yes. First tell what this proposition of yours is.” I knew it was going to be a deal with Discord, but I wasn’t in a position any more to just pass it up without at least hearing what it was.

“How many caps do you have saved up?” Sandbag asked bluntly.

“About five hundred, I guess.” I actually have a little more than that, but this jerk didn’t need to know that. Hardly much of a nest egg, but it’s enough to get me through any emergency.

“How would you like to turn that into a ten thousand overnight?” The greenish yellow unicorn grinned.

I raised an eyebrow. That kind of turnaround can’t be legal, but then, look who I was talking to. “What’s the angle?”

“I just happen to learn that the twenty-five to one long shot at the next Alehouse fight is going to pull off a surprise victory.” He said casually.

“A rigged fight?” I said with mock surprise. “Somepony should tell the sheriff!”

“Very funny, Jack.” Sandbag sneered.

“So, what? I just bet my caps on this dark horse?” It couldn’t be that simple.

“If it was that easy, I wouldn’t need your help with this.” The sheriff snorted derisively. I knew it… “No, it’s a bit trickier than that. You see, almost no pony is supposed to know how this match is going to turn out. So if ponies start putting large bets on the underdog, somepony will suspect a snitch. Also, large bets will change odds of the match, and that would make some rather powerful ponies unhappy.”

“But you have a way around all that?” I rolled my eyes. This pony sure loved to hear his own voice, but if he had a way to increase my caps twenty fold, I had to humour him. My time as a bookie was rather brief, but what he was saying so far seemed to make sense.

“Mister House happens to be one of the ponies that would know about the outcome of the fight.” Sandbag pointed a hoof in the direction of The Black Salamander, the elusive House’s base of operations. “He has also, in the past, placed large bets on such bouts. It’s one of his ways of keeping his caps clean, so to speak. He even has an arrangement that his bets are off the record, so they don’t skew the odds.”

“So we just need to get the most recluse pony in all of Dise to place our bets for us? No problem!” I laughed.

“Not necessary.” Sandbags said with a sly grin that put me on edge. “House always deals through proxies, and I just happen to be one of the ponies that he has used in the past to place his bets.”

“So you place a bet under his name and then collect it after the fight.” I said, putting the pieces together. It was a dangerous game, using a name as powerful as House’s for a scam, but it was so many caps…

“You got it.” The unicorn nodded. “And that’s where you come in, Jack. I couldn’t hoof myself the volume of caps that Mister House normally bids, so I need some… investors to help get the bet up to a respectable level. I already have some other ponies on board, and with your five hundred we should have enough.”

“I have just two questions.” I raised a hoof. “First, what’s your angle on this? I doubt you are offering me this out of the kindness of your heart.”

“Not too good with math are you?” Sandbag rolled his eyes. “The long shot is twenty-five to one, but you’re getting ten thousand. I’m keeping the remaining twenty-five hundred, since I’m the one who came up with this plan, and putting my neck on the line. This is not negotiable, the other ponies on board have already agreed to it.”

So this bastard it skimming off a fifth of all the winnings, in addition to his own take. Figures…

“So my last question would be, why me?” I asked pointedly.

“Because you’re a smart pony who knows when to keep his mouth shut.” Sandbag poked a hoof at my chest. “You won’t let this opportunity slip by, and you know full well what would happen if the wrong ponies found out.”

Hmm…

Putting aside my substantial dislike of the current sheriff, the only major con (aside from this job itself) is the risk of something going wrong and losing all my caps. The legality of it is moot, since I’ll be cheating cheaters at their own game, and it’s not like Sandbag will arrest me. If things go pear shaped, Sandbag would have the wrath of House on his head, not mine. I’d be out of my life savings, but still have my life, and I’ve built myself back up from nothing before.

What the hay. No pony got rich in Dise without taking some kind of gamble.

“OK, I’m in.” I said with more confidence than I felt. I winced as I shook his slimy hoof.

“Great to hear it Jack, you won’t regret it!” Sandbag grinned. “Just bring the caps to me at the Alehouse before seven thirty.”

“So, who’s this dark horse that is going to make me rich?” It’s been awhile since my stint as a Ring Card Stallion at the Alehouse, but I still knew many of the fighters. There were those that could and couldn’t pull off a convincing rigged fight.

“Some new foal named Punching Bag.” The sheriff sneered. “A real sad sack, but his opponent is a good actress, so don’t you worry.”

Sounds to be about as safe as anything in Dise, Now I just need to recover my savings.

I sure hope my parents haven’t cleaned out under my bed yet…

~~~

With 500 caps in my saddle bag, and a hoofful of extra caps in another pocket, I trotted into the Alehouse. The pre-war classic upper-class aesthetic of the Alehouse really did contrast with the look of most places in Dise. While other establishments go over the top with neon lights or big sounds, everything about the Alehouse was subdued and classy.

They also had the most brutal cage fights in all of Dise.

At first I thought that this was at odds with the fancy style the owners were going with, but then I figured that it actually made sense. The posh look attracts a richer class of ponies, and they in turn place much higher bets on the fights. I guess rich ponies enjoy the fights because it’s like seeing the wasteland from a…

I spotted something out of the corner of my eye and stopped in my tracks. Turning my head slightly, I confirmed what I thought I saw.

What was Dark Rustle doing here? This isn’t her kind of scene at all. The pitch black mare was more at home skulking around in the tunnels under Dise. Yet here she was, looking thoroughly uncomfortable, mingling with Dise’s upper class and having drinks with... Hard Frost?!

Wait a moment…

I slunk back to the doorway before being spotted and scanned around the large lounge area… There! I saw a skinny red stallion trot up to the other two. With Red Sprat here too, it was like a Four Jacks reunion.

Shortly after leaving my job as deputy I bumped into Red Sprat, we both knew each other from crossing path on other jobs previously, and we started comparing resumes. We found that between the two of us, we had a rather extensive list of skills built up. Red came up with the idea that if we could find a couple more skilled ponies, we could make our own freelance company that could handle any possible job. Soon we recruited the shady Dark Rustle and the frigid Hard Frost and called ourselves “The Four Jacks”, since we were jacks of all trades (and any connection to cards is a plus in Dise). We even took on aliases: Red was Jack Sprat, Dark was Jack Rustle, Hard was Jack Frost, and I was… stuck with an embarrassing name.

But eventually we got a high paying offer that was also very illegal, the other Jacks were all for it, but I objected. In the past I cared more about the morality of a job over the legality, but when your very special somepony is the city’s sheriff, you tend to play by the rules more. In the end we had a huge fight and I left on unfriendly terms. Soon after, the Jacks broke up, since “The Three Jacks” sounds like you’re not playing with a full deck.

Did they find a new fourth “Jack” and regroup, or they trying again with a different angle? Whatever the reason that they’re here, I do not want to deal with them right now.

I left the Alehouse lobby and made my way to the fighter’s entrance at the back of the building. I shouldn’t have much trouble getting in, as long as somepony that remembers me opens the door, and then I could just circle around and give Sandbag my caps without having to risk crossing paths with the Jacks.

I gave the large metal door the one-three-one-two password knock and waited. When the door opened I was met by a well-muscled golden wall.

“Hey handsome, haven’t seen you around here in a while!” The huge, gold coloured, earth pony mare with a short green mane backed up to let me in. “Come to see me fight tonight?”

“Good to see you again Gold.” I smiled up at Gold Gale. “How are…” Wait, what did she just say? “What? You’re fighting tonight?!” She’s the one throwing the fight to Punching Bag?

That doesn’t fit right. Gold was one of the most honest fighters around back when I worked here. She never threw a fight, and she was big enough to stand up anypony that tried to pressure her to. Did something happen since I left to cause her to compromise her morals?

“It’s hardly going to be much of a fight.” Gold rolled her eyes. “Poor kid won’t last the first round. His rotten luck that he was paired with me in the first elimination round.”

Either she really is a great actress, like Sandbag said, or there’s something a hoof here. Gold sounded like she really though she will win, and unless this Punching Bag is built like a barn, there’s no believable way he can beat her.

“So, where is this unfortunate stallion?” I asked casually. I needed to get down to the bottom of this. “I may as well wish him luck, since you won’t need it.”

“He’s in there.” Gold said, pointing one of her large hooves towards a changing room. “But you might have to wait a bit, he’s currently talking with his mommy.”

“Thanks, Gold.” I said with a smile, and started towards the changing room. “I’ll see ya around.”

“Hey, umm…” Gold called back to me, her normally confidant voice becoming a little softer. “I heard that your stallion friend left you… If you need somepony to talk to, I’m free after the fight. Or if you need a shoulder to cry on, I have a step ladder.” She added with a little smile.

“Thanks for the offer, Gold.” I smiled back. “Depending how this night goes, I may take you up on that.”

Gold was a good mare, and I suspected before that she might be a little sweet on me, but after Foalson I think it will be a long time before I’m ready for another relationship with anypony. Although, part of me can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be with a mare larger and stronger than any stallion I’ve ever known…

If I do win all those caps tonight though, it would be nice to at least have a friend to go out and celebrate with, yet I have a feeling that might not be how this turns out.

I trotted into the changing room, making sure this time that no pony was currently changing, and stopped when I heard voices around a corner arguing.

“You can’t do this Punchy! I die every time I see you fight!” a middle age mare’s voice yelled.

“Mom, I worked hard to get into the Alehouse fights, I’m not going to quit at my first match!” The voice of a much younger stallion, maybe late teens, shouted back in frustration.

“Have you seen the size of that amarezon they have you fighting?” Punching’s mother protested. “She’ll kill you!”

“Ms. Gale is not going to kill me, mom.” Punching said in an exasperated tone. “She’s a professional fighter. She’s just going to knock me out.”

“Just going to… Listen to what you’re saying, Punchy!” The mare pleaded.

“This is actually good for my career mom.” The young stallion explained. “I’m bottom rank going against the top rank. Losing to her won’t make me look bad, and I may even get some hits in first.”

“This is not a career.” There was a sound of the mare putting her hoof down on the changing room tile floor. “Your brother has a real career. Why can’t you just be more like him?"

“Because I have a conscience, mom!” Punching shouted back, sounding very offended. “Fighting may be hard and brutal work, but it’s one of the few honest jobs left in this Tartarus pit. Sand is one of the most corrupt ponies in all of Dise, I would rather get my flank beaten daily than by like him!”

Sand? Was Sandbag and Punching Bag brothers?!

The argument went on, but I didn’t bother following it.

What the hay was going on here?

I sat down on the cold tile floor and tried to sort everything out into a mental list.
-Sandbag said that the fight was rigged so Punching would win.
-Gold Gale would not throw a fight and is sure she would win.
-Punching would not be in a rigged fight and is sure he would lose.
-Punching is Sandbag’s brother and would know that he would lose

It’s obvious that the fight isn’t rigged. Did Sandbag just plan to run off with my money and not even bet it? No, there’s more going on here…

I added to the mental list:
-Sandbag said other ponies were “investing” in this scheme.
-Sandbag seemed to only know me from the Four Jacks.
-The other three Jacks are here tonight.

Sandbag is conning the rest of the Jack out of all their money too! Unless they are in on it too, as revenge against me… No it’s not their style. They would more likely blackmail, rob, and shank me, and not necessarily in that order.

But why would Sandbag need to pull off a con job like this? I’m sure with all the payoffs and kickbacks he gets he’s not hurting for caps.

Wait!

When he first mentioned the plan he said “I’ve heard that you’re in a bit of a financial bind”, but I wasn’t yet. I was only really hurting for caps when I heard that my parent’s sold The Winking Mare and that I had to move.
I threw another list together in my head.

-Somepony suddenly buys The Winking Mare.
-This forces me to need caps for a new place.
-Sandbag knows about this need before I even do.
-He just happens to have a scam to get me those caps.
-The three other Jacks are pulled into the scam too.
-The scam would leave all four of us virtually capless.

Did the rest of the Jacks also suddenly find themselves in a position where they couldn’t say no to such a shady deal? They must have, it would take more than the promise of caps to get Dark into the Alehouse.

This was bigger and more complex than Sandbag could come up with. It had the hoof prints of Peachy’s machinations all over it…

I’m willing to bet my 500 caps that after we all lost our caps, somepony would just happen to come by to bail us all out, but at a price. Then Peachy would have in her hoof the four most diversely talented ponies in all of Dise, to use however she wanted.

But could Peachy really swing buying The Winking Mare, just to snag me? Or come up with some scheme to put the hot-hoof under Frost, the coldest pony in all of Dise? She may be the mayor, but her resources are not limitless. Was this all part of something bigger?

A way of control…

Huh, I guess I really am an easy mark.

“Hey, you ok?”

I looked up to see a fit, pea soup coloured, young stallion standing over.

“You look like you just got beat up by life.” Punching said with a smile. “And trust me, I’m an expert on getting beat up.”

I got up to my hooves and shook my head to clear my mind, after it was just blown.

“Yeah Punch.” I smiled. “I just came by to wish you luck in your fight.”

“Thanks mister!” The unicorn beamed. “I’ll need luck if I hope to land even one hit.”

“Well, if you do get that one hit, aim for between the three gold nuggets of Gold’s cutie mark. It’s her weak point and will at least stagger her a bit.” Then I added with a laugh. “But be ready to run like heck, since she’ll be mighty mad after that!”

As I headed out of the changing room I turned back to Punching. “Oh, and tell Gold that I’m sorry I won’t be able to meet with her after the match. There’s something else that I need to do…”

~~~

“Hey! Wait up!” I called out as I galloped towards the northern entrance of Dise.

I hope I haven’t missed her.

The massive front gates were wide open and a line of caravan wagons were heading out. I ran alongside them and past the sign for “Paradise Found”, the town that was growing up from the overflow of Dise. Although, the poorly made sign had the ‘d’ and ‘s’ mixed up and the ‘F’ falling over, making it look more like “Paraside nound”.

One of the caravan wagons stopped, and the rusty brown mare in the rattan cowpony that was pulling it looked back at me with a smile. “Well if it isn’t the mark.”

“You were right.” I said as I caught up with her, trying to catch my breath. “You were right about everything.”

“Ha!” The mare whinnied. “Wish my ex-husband thought so. Then he wouldn’t have been eaten by radagators.”

“You were right about the control, and that I’m a mark. Also, you were right that I can leave Dise.” I then added sheepishly. “I don’t suppose you could use another hoof in your caravan? I have excellent credentials.”

“What about your family, friends, and… obligations?” The mare repeated my words back to me. “Isn’t this your home?”

“I said my goodbyes to my friends, and left my parents a note.” Along with a saddle bag containing 500 caps. They’ll need it more than me.

“As for my home…” I pointed a hoof out to the wide expanse of Caledonia. “He’s out there somewhere, so that’s where I’m going too.”

I was an idiot for not going after Foalson when he left months ago. I was too wrapped up in myself, this city, and the game it plays with the ponies inside it. But the game is rigged, the house always wins, and you have to get out before you lose more than just your caps.

I already lost the pony most important to me, and the greedy city still wanted more.

That’s just the way Dise rolls.

“Well you seem pretty set on getting out, and we could always use an extra hoof.” The mare said with a smile. “Just as long as you keep saying that I’m right about everything, we should get along just fine.” She extended a hoof. “I’m Petty Cash. Welcome aboard!”

I shook Petty’s hoof with a grin. “Cash, I think we’ll make great partners!”

oooOOOooo

Ah, that was the start of a whole new chapter in my life. The years I traveled with Petty took me just about everywhere in Caledonia and beyond, yet I never returned to Dise. As for my quest to find Foalson, I just-

“Mmmmhh…” a mare’s voice moaned.

Are they still at it!?!

The lights were now out, thankfully, and in the dim light coming in from under the door I could only perceive the faint form of two ponies resting under the covers. The smaller form then moved and stretched its hooves out from the covers.

Oh. It was just Tribute waking up.

The outline of the diminutive mare quietly got out of bed and made her way to something across the room. After rummaging around in what I assume was a saddle bag, she pulled out a rectangular object with a green light on it.

Was that the recorder for Hoof’s diary?

The light then turned red and Tribute spoke softly to it. “Hey Hoof, if you’re listening to this…”

~~~***~~~

Late the next morning, Hoof happily trotted out to flat patch of land just outside of Ponyville, where the rest of the group were already gathered. I guess they chose this staging point while Zest was getting changed.

Colt was arguing with Star about something while Brass was setting various equipment and healing items out on the ground and Zest just sat off to the side, watching him and looking nervous.

“Look who finally showed up.” Celly teased as she floated herself over to the Second. Aww, she already took of her fake crown and horn. “You seem to be in a good mood, and I noticed that you never returned to our room last night. Did you actually take the mayor up on her offer?”

On hearing this, Colt angrily shot Hoof what could only be described as a ‘stabby look’. This confusion really needs to get sorted out before she finds out about Tribute!

Flustered, Second shook a hoof dismissively. “Of course not! I’m not interested in non-ponies. I was just…” Quickly changing the topic, he pointed to the unicorns arguing. “What’s going on with them?”

Celly shrugged her little shoulders. “Colt is against the idea of her staying behind.”

“… several times, and we know from experience that it’s best to have a safety net if things go bad and Celly has to quickly teleport back with any of us injured.” Star finished explaining in a frustrated tone to the teenage unicorn.

“But why me?” Colt countered, not backing down.

“By your own admission, you’re the only one of us that has any real first aid skills.” Star pointed a hoof at Colt’s horn. “Also, you can levitate things, which makes quickly managing bandages and healing potions much easier. Besides, Brass and I work better as a team, and Celly obviously has to be going.”

“Then what about Piezo?” Colt pointed a hoof at Second. “I’m sure he could managed administering some healing potions.”

“Hoof has to go with us.” Celly interjected, floating herself over to the unicorns. “Part of the restrictions that Hoof’s ‘higher ups’ placed on the information I got was that he has to go with us and make sure we’re not just trying to ‘steal classified Ministry of Arcane Science documents or research’.” Celly rolled her eyes while saying the last part with hoof quotes.

“But I would be more useful in a fight than…” Colt continued to argue her case as I noticed that Zest finally worked up the courage to walk over to Brass.

“This is for you.” The pegasus mare said sheepishly as she held out a small envelope with her hoof, blushing nearly orange.

The bald stallion looked at the enveloped and sighed softly, it was clear from his expression that he knew what it was. Unfortunately, Zest was too nervous to even look at his face to see his expression change. “Look, Lemon, you should know that-“

“Zest, talk some sense into Colt!” Second called out suddenly.

Bad timing Hoof! It’s your own darn fault now if Colt shanks you in some misdirected attempt save Lemon’s feelings!

Without looking at him, Zest shoved the letter to Brass, quickly saying “Read it when you get the chance.” before galloping off to the growling argument.

With a sigh and a shake of his head, Brass put the letter into one of his pockets.

“If it was up to me, I’d have Lemon stay behind with you.” Celly said to Colt. “I want to put as few ponies as possible at risk.”

“No.” Zest said defiantly as she reached them. “I need to see the Elements of Harmony, and this may be my only chance.”

“And I need to be there to protect her.” Colt stamped her foot down resolutely.

“No, Colt.” The yellow pegasus shook her head, catching the young raider by surprise. “I’ll have Brass, Celly, Star, and even Second to protect me. I need you to be safe here, ready to heal us if anything bad happens.”

“But Mistress…” Colt pleaded to Zest.

“Please, Colt.” Zest said, looking straight into the young unicorn’s ice-blue eyes. “I know you can heal me.”

Was she hinting at Colt’s special skill of removing toxins?

The younger mare’s eyes widened slightly at the subtle reference, and she sighed. “I understand Mistress. I’ll stay behind.”

“Now that that’s settled…” Celly said, flying up higher to address the entire group. “I already flew over Canterlot this morning and spotted a clear area in the Ministry Walk for us blink in at. Flying through the pink cloud didn’t affect me. That’s not much of a surprise at this point, but we should stay as little as possible. Perhaps making several short trips, depending on how harsh the cloud is on the rest of you. We’ll leave our saddle bags here and I’ll be levitating the weapons we’ll be bringing when not in use. Considering the risk either way, I’ll leave it up to each of you if you want to wear barding or not.”

It was only when she mentioned it that I noticed just Brass and Hoof were wearing anything. Given how self-conscious Zest is, she either left really early to avoid being seen by anypony, or wore Colt’s saddlebags over her wings on her way here. I guess she didn’t have much choice, considering that her jumpsuit was still in Hoof’s bag.

Hoof took off said bag and placed it down by the pile of healing items. He then levitated out his own supply of potions and chems and added them to the collection. At least he was willing to share when his own neck was on the line too.

With the red gun still in Hoof’s bag, which was staying here, I was going to be left out on the trip to Canterlot. Which was fine by me! Even dead, I didn’t even want to risk going there.

Celly landed a short ways away from Colt and the other ponies going on this insane field trip grouped around her. “Ok, blinking to Canterlot in 3… 2… 1…” Then in a golden flash they were gone.

With a sigh, Colt trotted over to the bottles of water left out with the healing supplies. Lifting one up with her magic, she mumbled to herself. “Well, they’re rad free, might as well sterilize them too while waiting.”

She set the bottle on the ground and touched it with her glowing horn. After about a minute, she set it aside and placed another in front of her, repeating the process.

I hope the others don’t take too long. This is boring!

Author's Note

After another long delay, this chapter is finally done!
This huge chapter, nearly the size of the first three together, was one that I was looking forwards to for a long time!
One part in particular, the scenes in The Shout Outt, meant a lot to me since it was my way of giving subtle nods to people in the FoE community and various side-fics.

So as a speical bonus, I'm going to have a little contest to see who can spot the most "shout outs". Direct references to cross-fic continuity (like the talk of Puppy) dosen't count, and all shout outs take place on the main floor of the Shout Outt. There are 22 in total, and some may only make sense to regulars to the FalloutEquestira IRC forum. Just list what shout outs you spot in the comments! :)

Huge thanks to all my editors!
My Souls editors Nyerguds and Hidden_Fortune, without whom this fic would be 20% lamer.
My Sights editor Julep, who keeps all the pictures nice and derp free!
My Sounds editor No One, whose constant encouragement is what got this insanity off the ground to begin with (and for making FoE: Heroes the best Fallout Equestria side fic ever)!

And super thanks to Kkat for making this wild wasteland we all play in!

This fan-fic is just part of a larger story...
-Hear another side of the larger narrative with Fallout Equestria: Sounds
-See the bigger picture, take a look at Fallout Equestria: Sights.
-Follow the progress of all three tales at the Sights Sounds Souls Tumblr (and ask Colt questions).
-Track all the parts in one place at the Project Hub!