Knight of Tamriel, Warrior of Equis

by Sharp77

Rating: teen
Tags: Anthro, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human
Length: 8248

A knight, tasked with closing a gate to Oblivion, finds himself on Equis. He knows not what this world has in store for him, but he will never give up...and never surrender

I was tasked with shutting the oblivion gate outside Bruma. I had closed multiple before, so this was a cakewalk, but instead of being transported back to tamreil...I was sent to another world, unscathed by war. What this world has in store for me, I know not...but I will not let it die, as mine surely will.

Published 2017-08-11 04:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-04 00:30:06 UTC

The Chaos gate (Edited...kinda)

"Sir, are you sure about this?" My Man-At-Arms asked, clearly nervous.

"Well so far this gate has not followed any of the rules of a normal Oblivion Gate, there are things upside down out there for Azuras sake!" I say

"I still think that hitting the Sigil stone with a rock is a bad idea." He replied

"Well what should we do? This gate needs closed, or Bruma will surely dall, just like Kavatch." I say

Now, I know you are all confused, you did just come in after all! Let me get you up to speed, the Imperial in steel armor is Florentius, he is not who we are gathered here to see today. Now the Dunmer in that odd armor, he is called by many name...but for now we shall refer to him as Reaper. Reaper has been assigned to close an Oblivion gate outside of Bruma, as it would surely be destroyed by the Daedra. So far the gate itself has been unlike any other he has ever encountered. Things were distorted, and Daedra were actually helping him to get to the Sigil Stone. It was total chaos, and thus earned the name The Chaos Gate. We are at the point in which Reaper decides to throw a rock at the Sigil stone, a man after my own heart.

After I throw the rock, the gate becomes unstable and collapses, however when my vision returns I find I am not in the middle of a field near Bruma. I am in the middle of a town, filled with anthropomorphic horses...I take a good look around, and spot a forest. Something in my mind is telling me to go to the forest, and away from these horses, and I proceeded to do just that. As calmly as I can, I do a full 360, and walk directly towards the forest. I was about 2 meters away from the forest, when I felt a spell bounce off my shoulder, I calmly turn around to see an anthro purple unicorn glaring at me.

"Do we have a problem?" I ask

"Yes, you used dark magic to teleport into Ponyville!" She says

"Excuse me? Are you accusing me of using that accursed magic?" I ask, slightly offended

"I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm telling you what you did!" She says casting another spell at me via her horn

I put up a Ward to block it (Yes I know, Wards are a skyrim thing...just bear with me) "So, instead of coming with backup, you decided to charge head-first at what you assume is someone who can use dark magic?" I ask, questioning her logic

"Ye-" she starts to reply, suddenly realizing her error

"You are very lucky you were wrong in your assumption, now if you'll excuse me I must find a way to get back to Tamriel." I say turning back around, and attempting to walk away. As I do so I feel another spell hit my shoulder. "Now, you attack a man who has not attacked you in any way, while his back is turned. You are not very bright, are you?" I asked as I turn around

"I'll have you know I'm the princesses personal protege, an-"

"you attacked without provocation or a justifiable reason, which could be considered an act of War for most species I know, you are attacking somebody who is wearing armor, and is armed. Tell me, did your princess teach you these things... or is your species naturally this thick?" I ask, shutting her up indefinitely. " I would like to meet this princess of yours, so please do tell her to meet me here tomorrow, and if any of your species follows me or attempts to attack me they shall perish. Good day." I say before again turning around and walking into the forest. No spell hit me this time, and I heard rapid footsteps heading in the opposite direction of me, hopefully she is getting her princess.

Whilst in the forest I noticed wolves made of pure wood, and for some reason they were afraid of me.I also saw what seemed to be a striped tribal pony, and she spoke in rhyme. We had a nice little conversation regarding the idiocy of ponies, and I found that she was a Zebra. After the chat she warned me of the other dangers in this forest, such as Hydras, and Manticores. It mattered little to me, as all I was focused on was finding a tree to sleep in, that and I had armor that prevented most types of natural attacks, like claws for example. It took a while, as I had to test a few branches till I found a tree that I could climb safely, and by the time I found one the sun was starting to set. It would have taken longer without Zecoras help. It took very little time for me to fall fast asleep, and oddly enough I dreamed of cheese.

Author's Note

The first of hopefully many chapters, I say hopefully because writers block. Feel free to tell me whats wrong with this story, or if I am trash at this and need to stop. Anything really, I could care less if it was hate.

Talking to royalty (Sorta Kinda edited)

To say I was excited was a lie, I had met enough Nobles in my life to know exactly what I would be walking into. Worst case scenario it was a hoity-toity Noble with some sense of grandeur, best case scenario they'd be an actual alright person. I'm leaning more towards worst case scenario. I made my way back to where I had told the purple unicorn pegasus I would meet her princess. I saw Zecora on the way back, and she waved back. It's nice, knowing that there are a few Intelligent races in this world. I also took note of strange blue flowers, and what looked like a stone structure across an ancient bridge. Nothing else of note showed itself during the hour long walk, and as I approached the border of the forest I looked around for her. Sure enough there she was, as well as a taller White unicorn Pegasus. Plus a few guards with spears, and they looked green.

"You must be the princess I've been told about." I say, revealing my location to them

"Halt in the name of Celestia, disarm yourself immediately!" The first guard says, raising his spear, and poking me with it

"Your armor is poorly constructed, and you are greener than moss on bark. I'll give you three seconds to get that spear out of my gut, before my sword plunges into yours." I say, drawing my blade and sticking right above where his stomach should be.

"And what about me, betcha did-"

"You would be immolated by my flames." I say to the second guard, I hear him gulp shortly after

"Stand down." A gental voice says

"Yes princess!"
"Yes princess!" Both guards say, snapping their spears up to their sides

"So you're the monster Twilight has been talking about, you do not look all that powerful." The Princess says

"Looks can be deceiving, after all I suspect none of your subjects know of your actual power." I say, her eyes shrink for a second

"What do you mean by that?" She asks

"You reek of cake." I say, getting a smile outta her

"Well, I'm glad I do." She says "I am Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria, and Princess of the Sun. Who may I ask are you?"

"I am Reaper, Grand Champion of the Imperial Arena, Knight of the Imperial legion, and Speaker of the Dark Brotherhood." I say

"Might I ask how you got here?" Celestia asks

I tell her of the Oblivion Gates and Oblivion crisis my world is going through, and I fill her in on what my position means in the Imperial Legion.

She frowns "So you are basically a member of a glorified Suicide Squad. Your world's presnt sounds barbaric, similar to my world's past. But how do you know that you're in a different world?"

I smirk under my helm "We have two moons." I say, earning a flabbergasted look from Celestia

"Well, I will have to look into getting you back to your world, but you'll need somewhere to stay...come with me, will get you accommodated at the castle."

I smell fish. "Do you usually let strange creatures from other worlds stay in your Castle?" I ask, sensing a bit of a catch

"Well, I do not fully trust you yet, and I would like to keep an eye on you...if that's not too much trouble?"

I weigh my options. Stay in forest and possibly starve or freeze to death, not under watch, and have Intelligent friend. Go to Castle where food is in abundance, and where there are most likely nice warm beds, but under watch, and surrounded by morons. "Sure, better than freezing to death out here...mostly" I mutter the last part under my breath

"I'm glad. Follow me, we have more to discuss at the castle."

Author's Note

I really hope you all are enjoying this, and if you didn't like the first chapter why are you reading the second chapter? Where's the logic behind that?

Anywho, Seeya in the next chapter.

One of things is not like the other! (Semi Edited)

We had arrived at the castle via flying chariot...I was unconscious for the duration of the trip, unfortunately. When we arrived I was assigned two guards, they would watch me every hour of every day, with exceptions of course. While we were walking however, I noticed something odd about one of my 'escorts'. His magical aura was that of a unicorn, but his physical form was that of a pegasus. Another thing I found off about him was his shadow, it looked like something a Dremora Churl would vomit up after drinking the blood of a Flesh Golem.

First let me explain how I can see magical auras. when I was a young lad I traveled to Skyrim to attend the College of Winterhold. I was good at enchanting, and had excelled in Restoration and Destruction based magic. I was so good, that I was taught by the archmage himself. He taught me an enchantment that was similar to detect life, but instead of seeing living organisms I could see how powerful ones magic was. The fainter the glow, the weaker their magical capabilities, and vice versa. from what I've seen from Pegasus, they are very faint. however that was not the case with this one, it was glowing very brightly.

After noticing this, I stopped, and stared at him. This managed to get the others to stop and look at me with puzzled looks...except the one I was staring down, he was sweating like he was in Elswyer with a Skaal overcoat on.

"Reaper, why are you staring down Whirlwind?" Celestia asked

"Oh no reason, but I would like to know one thing." I asked, slowly sliding a my dagger from its hidden sheath

"And what would that be Sir?" Whirlwind asked

"Is there any kind of creature that can change its appearance?" I ask, his eyes widen to a near impossible level

"Yes sir, but how did you know?" Whirlwind asks

"Your magical aura gave it away. Since you are an unknown, I'm gonna have to ask you to put your weapon down." I say, bringing a Grummite dagger to his throat

"Reaper, I demand to know why you have a dagger to my guards throat...and what do you mean 'his magical aura gave it away'?" Celestia asks

Before I can respond, Whirlwinds form burst into green flames. When the flames died down, a buglike creature stood in its place. It's eyes were solid blue, and it skin...or carapace was black. it had two wings with holes in places that made them look injured, as well as holes in it's feet.

"Well, I can honestly say I did not expect that." I say

"What the buck?" the other guard says, before swinging his spear in a chopping motion. It hit 'Whirlwinds 'head with enough force to render him unconscious. At first I thought the spear was dulled, and I looked to see the guard had the blunt end up.

"You...are an idiot." I say to him

"I killed it, didn't I?" he asked

"You swung a spear like a claymore, that was your first mistake. Your second, you swung the blunt end at him. Your third, assuming he died. Anyone with eyes can see that he is still breathing. Your last mistake, attacking an unarmed creature without just cause." I say, sheathing my dagger

"I did have just cause, he was not a pony." He said, glaring daggers at me

"That is not a valid cause, nor is it just. And if being a different species is a crime, then you better start swinging." I say, ready to take his head off.

"Why?" He asks

"Because I'm no pony."I say, grabbing the steel claymore off my back

"Whoa, no need for that...just simmer down. Eclipse, would you please take Whirlwind to the infirmary." Celestia said

"But Pri-"

"Do it now, or I will let Reaper handle this." Celestia said, in a tone that could freeze fire

"Yes Princess!" He said, dragging Whirlwind away

"Allow me to show you to your room." Celestia said, leading me down a labyrinth of hallways to a room in the west wing

"This room is...big." is all I could say when the doors to my room opened. To put it in perspective it was about the size of the main hall of Cloud Ruler Temple...well, maybe both that and the main hall of High Hrothgar, mixed with the hall of the Elements in the college of Winterhold, with just a dash of Dragonsreach

"Yes, I suppose it is." Celestia said, giggling "I would like to invite you to have lunch with me, my sister, and a few other nobles."

"You don't know my motives, you don't know what I I'm capable of, and yet you trust me like a sister would trust a brother...why?" I ask

"As my father once said, 'One should not be judged by what they do by themselves, but what they do in the presence of you.' You have been brutally honest and have had multiple chances to harm my ponies, but you haven't. It will be in an hour, two rights, and a left." She said before leaving me with my mind blown

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, after all I had a lunch with royalty and nobility.

Author's Note

Hmmm, I wonder what stuck up Noble will be appearing in the next chapter? Or will this stuck-up Noble be royalty? Who knows, I do...so I'll see you all in the next chapter. If you didn't like the first two why are you reading this one? Do you just read it For the Halibut?:pinkiehappy:

Also, if your wondering what equipment he has here it is:

Steel Claymore
Umbra
Grummite Dagger
Steel Bow
Steel arrow (113)
Dwarven Arrow (82)
Daedric Arrow (29)

Royal Pain

Lunch with nobility and royalty, and I kept low hopes about the entire ordeal. Sure Celestia was better than most Royals I've met, but I had a sneaking suspicion that the others were more 'holier-than-thou'. Yes, I was wrong with Celestia...but she might be the exception in this case. I would skip it, but I would never pass up an opportunity to punch some noble in the face. I had to ask for directions, but I eventually arrived at the dining area.

"Reaper, just in time! Come in, have a seat." Celestia said

"As you wish." I said, taking a seat beside her.

"You must be this Reaper we've been told about, it is a pleasure to meet a warrior with the ability to see magical auras." An Alicorn said, ahh this must be Luna

"And it is a pleasure to meet another member of royalty." I said

"Hello there Reaper, I am Fancy Pants, and this is my wife Fleur Dis Lee." A unicorn says gesturing to another unicorn. Introductions went on for a better part of the evening, and the only Nobles I found tolerable was Fancy and Fleur. I also noticed that there was an empty seat.

"Celestia, who sits there?" I ask, and suddenly as if on cue in comes a blonde haired unicorn

"Blueblood, how have you been?" Celestia asked

"Well, I had mares swarming me asking for my hand in marriage...that and me still regretting the Gala."

"So, not well."

"No...not real- What in Tartarus are you?" Asked Blueblood, finally noticing me

"I am a Dunmer, or if you prefer a Dark Elf." I replied

"Well, you look like a hornless Minotaur...no offense." He said

"None taken." I said

"Well, you know who I am, but I have no idea who you are."

"My apologies, I am known as Reaper." I said

"Well, sorry everypony for being late." He said to everyone seated, before he sat down to eat with the rest of us. There were some conversations around the table, but my focus was entirely on the two Royal sisters whispering to each other. It was not long before the new ones face, Lunas, held a shocked expression that quickly turned into anger. I decided to shift my attention from them to around the room, and I notice something very very wrong. Walls are not supposed to glow, nor should there be any cloaking enchantments on them. The glow itself was moving towards Luna, and I waited till it was about 3 feet away from her before I did my thing. I slowed time to a near halt. Without hesitation I pulled out my bow, notched a Dwarven arrow, and fired at the glow. Time resumed its normal pace after the arrow took flight. What happened? The arrow found its mark and tore the head off of what looked like a Gryphon. Not only that but it seemed to be wearing a cheap knockoff of our shroud armor.

"Had that assassin been competent, he would have noticed that I was following his every movement." I said to the now shocked group of royals. "I would recommend you have the guards search your private chambers, he might not have been working alone. If you'll excuse me I am going to head to bed, this fool of an assassin has made me weary." I say, and without another word I turn around walk to my room.

Author's Note

Finally got over my bloody writers block, and my food poisoning! This shall be continued!

More Tamrielans?

I was halfway to my room, not really paying any mind to the two royal sisters chasing after me, when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. A few seconds later, an arrow grazed my breast plate, followed by a feminine voice yelling

"SORRY!"

I turn my head swiftly, my gaze falling upon a Pegasus. Blonde ponytail, indigo fur, darker guard armor, and she was sporting an embarrassed look. I appear to have made my way to the training grounds, and somehow this mare had missed a target that was nowhere near the corridor...and managed to hit me.

"That was..."

"The worst shot you've ever seen?" She asked

"...Impressive." I say, she looks absolutely shocked "I dare say that you'd be the best shot here, if you train more. If you wish, I will train you personally." I say

"Well, you look more experienced then my colleagues, so if you wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all. Now, do you see that target?" She nods "Hit it." I say

"Okay, here goes nothing." She says, she lines up her bow with the target, breaths once, and fires. The target is unscathed, and there is a new chip in the wall. She sighs "I really suck at this."

I pull out my bow, and notch a Dwarven arrow. "I do not aim with my bow, I aim with my eye." I let it fly, and it hits the bullseye. I notch another arrow "I do not shoot with my bow, I shoot with my mind." It flies from my bow, splitting the first arrow. Shocked gasps and murmurs of amazement surround me. I ignore them, and notch one more arrow "I do not kill with my bow..." I let the arrow fly, and it spilts the second arrow, and the entire field is quiet. I turn to face the mare, who is surrounded by guards and servants. "...Those who kill with their bow have forgotten the face of their father. I kill with my heart."

"That was...amazing! Who taught you that?" The mare asked

"The saying, or how to use the bow?"

"The second one."

"My father. He was a hunter, and taught me almost everything I know. Everything else I learned from...experience." I said "Now, hit the target."

"I'll tr-"

"No, you won't try. You will hit the target, otherwise it will kill you." I said, unbeknownst to everyone I was casting an illusion spell and painting a picture in this mares mind.

"What, but it's ju-"

"It's an enemy hostile, charging straight at you. It will kill you, unless you kill it first." I said, finishing the spell.

She looks at the target and her eyes widen in fear. She notches an arrow, and let's it fly. It hits the target dead center, and the illusion spell dissipated and she turned to me glaring. "What in Faust's name was that?" She demanded

"The way my father taught me, effective is it not?"

"Yes but that was just...just..."

"Mean? Cruel? Do you think actual war will be any different? If you do I have some unfortunate news for you, war is hell. There are no timeouts, no room for reasoning, there is only a decision. Who is going to die, you or the enemy? This is what my world is, a perpetual state of war. The wilds are unsafe, nor the roads. Towns are under threat of Daedric attack, and the survivors of said attacks won't stay that way for long. In my world, peace is rarely talked about....and it doesn't always last. Count your lucky stars that you can sleep without fear of a dagger slitting your throat. Celestia, you and Luna need to teleport with me to my room to discuss those ASSassins."

"Reaper, that can wai-"

"NO IT CANNOT, IF MY SUSPICIONS ARE CORRECT THEN THEY WILL NOT STOP TILL YOU ARE DEAD. YOU, ME, LUNA, TELEPORT NOW!" I snap. Sick and tired of this, I understand that they are used to peace...but this was not something that could be put off till tomorrow. If this was the Dark Brotherhood...well then their nightmother and I need to have a chat. Lightheadedness...must have teleported. "Celestia, can you put a mute spell on this room?"

"Yes."

"Do it, Luna take a seat." I said, locking the door. I waited till I heard Celestia's horn turn off. "Now, the assassination attempt. Who would have hired the Dark Brotherhood to kill you?"

"The Dark what?"

"A group of assassins, very deadly, and very effective. They never stop till their contract is fulfilled." I say "Now, who would have hired them?"

"Nopony! We are at peace!" Celestia stated

"Well, their are the Katakahns...and the Myrkurs....possibly the Zebras...perhaps the Kirins...The Gryphons....some Dragons." Luna said

"Luna, what are you talking about?" Celestia asked

"While you were lost in your euphoria sister, I was watching our allies. Many have think we have grown weak enough to be easily taken, and unfortunately sister that is the truth. Reaper has enough skill and experience to take Equestria by himself!" She said "And Reaper...their where more magical anomalies akin to yours when you entered Equestria. Three of them to be exact."

"...Where?"

"The Royal Garden."

"When?"

She smirked. "Just now."

Author's Note

I decided to bring in all three of them, because I beat the games on the highest difficulties with those characters...SO THEY SHALL ALL COME!

And if you don't know what I'm talking about...then go to my blogs. I had a vote the only one person paid it any mind.

Full Moon Tonight, you are an awesome guy/girl/Apace Attack Helicopter

Missing Changeling.

I woke up in the infirmary ward...or something along those lines. My memory was a bit foggy, but I remember a Daedroth managing to bite through my armor. As I struggle to remember more, I sit up in my bed. My armor is still on, and my weapons are nearby.

I didn't even get to question it as a voice from my left answered it almost immediately "We did not allow the ponies attempt to heal you with their inferior magic, and Kyra would not allow them to take your armor or armaments. She is quite funny...for a legend. Dances-with-Death is the one who managed to heal you with that armor on. You are like a scaled-down version of the Atherium Forge Master with all those enchantments!" Alyx exclaimed.

"Do you ever stop talking?" I ask

"Nope, oh and someone came here asking for your help...strange buglike pony, saying something about a missing child? She didn't stick around though, left in a hurry, and left you this." She says, handing me a piece of paper.

The paper in question was a note, the note read: Come to Joe's Donuts, ask for Cicada, bring backup. I look up from the paper to see Alyx looking at me with a strange expression. It was more terrifying than the smile a Daedra gets when it knows, or thinks, it is about to kill you. "What are y-"

She suddenly lunged, grabbing by the shoulders and shaking me violently "Quest? Loot? EXPLORATION?" She asked in a crazed tone.

"Oi, Necromancer!" I hear Kyra yell "Let go, and let him speak." when did she get in here?

"Daaaw...but...bu-"

"Alyx, we know that you are excited...However I think that you may want to let him go, lest you want him to pass out again." Dances-With-Death said...Hold on, when did they get in here?

"Well, warrior? What did the letter say?" Kyra asked

I paused for a few moments, and as my train of thought came back I replied "Well, it seems as though someone needs my...our help."

"Are you sure? I mean I can understand why they would want me and you...but why Alyx?" Kyra said

"Yeah...wait, what?"

"Okay, before a fight breaks out, may I ask where it is?" Dances-With-Death said

"Joe's Donuts?" I say, unsure of where that is.

"Ahhh, the little pastry shop a block away from the castle gates? This client has good taste, I'll give them that." He says

"Hmmm, still suspicious...I am bringing my everything with me." Kyra says, leaving to gear up.

"I will as well, not that I really need to...just need enough room to shout." Alyx says

"I will get my Cowl, then we will meet you there." DWD says

"Well, I guess I'll head over there now. I have all my gear with me now." I said, still a little confused on why they were so willing to help. I gathered my things, putting Umbra, the Steel Greatsword, the Grummite Dagger, and the Steel bow away in their places over my body. My armor had a few new gashes in it...but it was not something I could not fix. As I finished suiting up, and assessing my damaged body, I walked out into the hall to meet up with the others who had already started to walk to the exit. I had to run to catch up with them, and yes...it was painful to run even that short of a distance. It took us very little time to reach the shop, and even less to locate Cicada. She was a bug-pony, brownish black chintin, yellow eyes, and skeletal looking wings. "Hello Cicada, you needed us?" I ask

"Yes, if you would please sit...I hope you can help, the guard can't." She said, and as soon as we sat down she started explaining "My son, well adopted son, Mist Weaver went missing two weeks ago...I though nothing of it, he is a stallion after all...but I got this in the mail yesterday." She said handing Alyx a letter.

"We have your son, come to the Blue Plaza tomorrow or he dies...sounds like these blokes are rookies." Alyx stated, and we all stared at her "What...you never start with a death threat! You start with a ransom, and even then you say to not contact the guards!"

"Well...when did you receive this letter?" I ask

"...yesterday?" She said, semi nervous

"Bollocks...TO THE PLAZA!" Alyx yelled, dragging me and DWD out.

When we arrived, I fell flat on my ass. Getting up to brush myself off, I glanced around. The crowds consisted of mainly ponies, with some Changelings, Gryphons, and Minotaurs. Kyra motioned with her hands, pointing towards a group of Gryphons in what appeared to be...pirate outfits...where they even trying to be inconspicuous? I decided to walk up to them and ask "Any of you know a changeling named Cicada?" I ask, the visibly tense."Well then, here is what you're going to do. You are going to free her son, and then you're going to leave Canterlot and never return...savvy?" I say

" And what if we decide to gut you right here?" One of them asks making a move towards his saber, only to find his throat suddenly rubbing up against a silver spear.

"Well, then you have more to deal with...not counting the guards." Kyra said, laughing

"Can we kill em? I want to see whether they'd make good thralls or not!" Alyx said, grabbing one from behind and put a flame spell up to his face.

"As much as I would like to see that, we must regretfully keep them alive. Only they know where Mist Weaver is." Dances-with-Death said, emerging from the crowd with an arrow notch aiming directly at one's head

"Ha, like we'd tell you...nothing you do will make us rev-" I cut him off by grabbing him by his throat and lifting him up off of the ground.

"Let me tell you a story. It is about a friend of mine, named Dar-Ma. I was new to the town of Chorrol, and this Argonian approached me...I knew next to nothing about her, and she treated me as if we had known each other for years. This surprised me, as most Argonians I had encountered before either hated me...or tried to outright kill me. I stayed in that town for about a week, and would often spend my time talking to her. I left for two days to deal with some long lost brothers, and kill a few Goblins to help the locals. When I return to Chorrol, I went to visit Dar-Ma...however her mother, Seed-Neeus had said she had gone missing. Naturally I asked to help find her, and was pointed in the direction of a town called Hackdirt. When I got there I asked questions about where she might've gone, and the replies I got were...less then satisfactory. It was not until I asked a man named Jiv Hiriel, who told me to meet him after dark at his house. There he told me that the citizens of this town are going to sacrifice her to some deities called the deep ones. After learning this I did the only thing that seemed rational to me, I went down into the caves and I slaughtered anyone and anything that got in my way. After rescuing Dar-Ma, I went back to Hackdirt and killed the rest of its citizens. So I'm going to give you one chance, and only one chance to tell me where he is. However should you hold your tongues, you will find that my methods of torture are very different than those you have ever experienced." I say, noticing that both pirates and Tamrielens where staring at me...their expressions were mixed between shock and fear. "Now, what say you...scum?"

Author's Note

Bit of a serious tone, and yes I did slaughter everybody in Hackdirt. And by everybody, I mean everybody. Do I regret it? Nope!

The 'questionaire'

After the little confrontation in the Plaza, we asked Tia if we could borrow the dungeons. Her reaction was...well...

"You want to use it for WHAT?"

"For what us Tamrielens use them for! Torture, and all around brutal things!" Alyx said with a gleeful tone

"NO, we don't. We want it to have a...'chat' with our newly acquired, uhh...'friends?'" Kyra said nervously

"Okay, even I can tell you are lying...and I have been on the moon for a thousand years!" Luna said, emerging suddenly from the corner of the room

"Lulu your sister is being mean, she won't share the dungeons with us!" Alyx said in a childish tone

"Dear Mother, you are as childish as Pinkie Pie!" Celestia said, irritated

"Now Tia, why don't you let the Warriors from a warlike world have the dungeons for a little. After all, what kind of host would we be if we didn't share something with them." Luna said, her face in danger of colliding with Celestia's

"...good point. Well, you may use them on one condition. No killing." Celestia said in a stern tone

"Aww....take the fun out of everything." Alyx said, her arms folding in like a pouting toddlers would

"Don't worry, I know plenty of ways to get my information without killing the subject." I said "Now, if you could have a gua-"

"No need for guards, I have the fourth wall. It is that-a-way!" Alyx said, somehow grabbing all of us and running faster than any Mer or Man possibly could. Within a few short seconds we all fell to the floor in a heap. "We're here! Now to the fun torture time!"

It took us a few seconds to get each pirate into a separate cell. Once we knew who the ringleader was, we each decided to do our torture methods separately. Dances-with-Death, for whatever reason, decided that he would see what other info he could get out of the henchmen.

First up was Alyx. She lurked around in the shadows, just outside the pirates peripherals. "Well hello there little dove, it seems that you are a bit lost. You don't belong here, I'll show you where you belong." Alyx said, before suddenly rushing up to his side, holding a dagger to his throat. "You little dove, I have you all to myself. You have a choice, don't ya know. You can talk, and end this torment now." She said, casting a fear spell "Or we could get to know what a Gryphon's insides look like on the outside." She started giggling like a madwoman after that.

"I will never talk...DEMON!" He said, spitting in her face

"Ugh, how rude. Kyra I think I found your brother from another dimension!" Alyx called out "Oh, and it's your turn dove."

"Well, time to see just how cocky this guy is. I know only one Surefire way of getting him to talk...and if that doesn't work, then he is all yours." Kyra said to me before pulling a chair into the room with the captain. "Now, we can do this one of two ways. Easy, or Difficult...your choice."

"Ha, does the kitty not wa-" Kyra silenced him by cutting off airflow to his throat. She then threw the chair to one side, and unsheathed a dagger.

"Ever been circumcised?" Kyra asked, dagger inching dangerously close to the pirate's groin.

The pirate grinned slightly, before simply saying "Eunuch."

"...Well, he is all yours Reaper." Kyra said.

I walked in, and locked eyes with the scum.

"Let me guess you are going to kill me with kindness?" He said in a sarcastic manner

"No quite." I said before embedding my Grummite dagger into his thigh, and punching him in the beak. "Now, before we begin let me make one thing clear...I care little for your insignificant life, and I will kill you if you do not tell me what I want to know. Now, where is your prisoner?" I ask

"I ai-" I cut him off by punching him again

"Final warning, then I take things up a notch. Where is your prisoner?" I ask

"I ref-" Again, punched in the face

"Now, I'm going to take that knife out of your thigh, and I'm going to start cutting off strips of your flesh. I will then cook those strips of flesh, and feed them to you...unless you want to tell me where your prisoner is, then none of that happens." I said, seething hatred from every fiber of my being

"What the buck are you?" He asked, clearly afraid

"I AM THE SPEAKER OF THE BLACK HAND, THE NEW DAEDRIC GOD OF CHAOS! I. AM. THE. REAPER...and you? Hahaha, you are as insignificant as a grain of sand. Now, your prisoner...WHERE?"

Author's Note

Added dark tag...cause torture. More backstory on Reaper in the next chapter, and I really hope you all enjoyed.

Holiday Q&A!

Hello there! it's me Sharp77! I am here to happily announce that I will be dragging all the characters from the story pass the fourth wall to answer your questions. I will drag them out on Christmas Day, so you have until then to ask your questions! You can ask any character anything, I am putting no limitations on the questions asked...so ask away! See you then, and have a happy holiday!

A short adventure (Kyra Edition)

Kyra POV

Whilst Reaper was ‘persuading’ the pirate capitan to talk, I decided to take a little walk.

‘Perhaps there were monsters around that needed ending. A warrior’s work is never done, that is how my mother taught me, and her mother taught her. Of course, as a Khajiit, we are usually the first to blame when things go missing...how I was accused of robbing a stall in broad daylight, with heavy plated armor on is still a mystery. Here however, it seems these...ponies...blame changelings for missing items, not me. This would be an advantage to me, if I were a thief...I should consult with Dances-With-Death after my walk.’ I thought to myself as I approached what looked to be the medical wing of the castle.

I walked in and took an immediate notice of an armored gryphon attempting to unhook a device from a...well a strange looking ponylike creature. “HALT!” I yelled, drawing my Katana from its sheath. To say he looked surprised is an understatement, as he looked at me in complete terror...he then picked up a halberd from behind the device, and charged. What ensued after that was a three step process I learned from my days in the Royal Guard. First, I blocked his swing. Second, I brought the blade up the staff till it was under the axe blade. Third, I yanked to the left...and managed to pop off the top half of the halberd. I then twisted around, kicked him in the stomach, and sheathed my Katana. “I give you one chance, yield and mercy shall be shown.” I hissed.

“I...I...I surrender!” He said

“Hands behind your back, get on your knees.” I said, procuring a rope from my pouch. He did as ordered, and I tied his hands to his back. “GUARDS!” I yelled. A few minutes later, a couple of golden armored ponies, led by a gryphon, came charging through the doors. “You need to keep men posted in the medical areas, this one was attempting to disconnect the device connected to that.” I said, gesturing to the creature

“Aye ma’am, we will get right on it. Spirit Shield, check on Whirlwind’s connection. We don’t need a dead guard, especially not one of Whirlwinds expertise. Storm, would ya kindly go inform Celestia that I am posting guards in all medical areas? Thank ya.” He said “And lass, I am going to need a statement from ya...standard procedure and all that.”

“Gladly. I am Kyra Kaldwin, and I apprehended a gryphon attempting to disable a device that was most likely keeping him alive. He attacked me with a halberd, and I disarmed, and restrained him.” I said.

“Excellent. I am Captain Jack, pleased to meet you. If I may ask, where were you trained?” He asked, holding out his hand

“By my mother...and it is also a pleasure to meet you, Captain.” I said, shaking his hand. I also noticed that on his armor was a Sparrow symbol 'his family crest?'

“Well it is a shame I missed you in action. You were the one that appeared in the gardens...correct?”

“Yes…” I said

“Then I missed you in action twice...bollocks.” He said “Well, I must be off...lest the guards start blowing up jars of peanut butter...again.

"I see, well I hope we see each other again." I said

"Aye, as do I lass." He said, before walking away

'well this was interesting...better get back and see if Reaper has gotten any useful information out of that pirate.'

Author's Note

Captian Jack of the family Sparrow. Best pun ever!

Another short adventure (Dances With Death edition)

I decide that I too would go around exploring, as Kyra and Alyx did. I found a few areas of interest in my wanderings, like Princess Moonbutt's room...with no guards in sight. In her room there were a few notes, some having a security risk analysis on a goat named Grogar, others were travel logs for most of the staff in the castle. There were two papers that really intrigued me, a pay-stub from a Coffeeshop down in a place called Ponyville, and notes regarding a sleepwalking alicorn making out with the owner of said establishment. '

Oh...my...Akatosh.'

Everything else was bland, and unexciting. I continued till I found Sunbutts room, which again had no guards.

'Seriously, did they all take a coffee break?'

In her room there were a lot of books, teaching implements, as well as a few notes These notes mainly consisted on foals she was teaching, and the only one that really intrigued me was about the probability of Katakan DNA being able to fuse with Pony DNA.

'I have no idea what a Katakan is...but that sounds like some prime Daedric abomination material right there.'

"I can understand why thou would snoop around in my room, but my sisters?" I hear Moonbutt say

'How did I not hear her coming?' I think to myself l. "Well I do like to know how big of a threat most could be, don't you?" I ask

"Verily...but I must admit I was assuming the guards were just attempting another pantie raid." She said giggling "They do seem to act like teenage colts whenever we are not around."

"Ahh, that brings back very fond memories. Oh, and you may want to change your locks...they were way to easy to get through." I said, walking past her and into the hallway. She, of course, tagged along.

"So, what does the thief think of our world?" She asks

"I prefer the term...asset recovery agent. As for your question, I am finding it quite wonderful." I replied

"That is quite reassuring to hear...we thought that you would hate it here." She said

"Oh really? Why is that?" I asked

"You seem the most serious of your group."

"Actually I am rather silly in private. I loathe being serious, but I must...if only to keep a sense of professionalism." I said

"As do I. I hate to seem creepy, but would you mind accompanying me to my room?" She asked

"Hey I don't do that till after the third successful date!" I said, getting a rouse of laughter from her

"No, nothing like that. I would just like to have someone to game with!" she said

"Game...like childrens games?" I asked

"No! Do you not have Video games where you are from?" She asked, leaning in a bit too close for comfort

"No..." I replied, preparing to run for my life

"So you've never...we must correct this mistake post haste." She said, grabbing me and dragging me into her room.

'Well...at least today wasn't dull.'

Author's Note

A big old shoutout to Georg for letting me put a little nod towards his/her story, the author of Her Royal Morning Coffee. I highly suggest y'all check out his/her stuff, as it is better than my shite by a longshot.

Also...pray for Dances-With-Death...I fear for his mental health.

Party of four

After hearing the news I bolted to the garden, and as I approached I heard the sounds of battle.

"YOL TOOR SHUL!"

"IT CAN BREATH FIRE! RETREAT!"

ZAP ZAP

"THE SECOND SHOOTS LIGHTING FROM ITS HANDS!"

"THE THIRD HAS A-OW-SPEAR AND IS-OW-REALLY GOOD WITH IT!"

"RUN AWAY, GET THE BEARERS!"

"RANDOM SHOUTS OF AGONY!"

Ok....either the sounds of battle, or a very bad comedy. As I approach the sounds of panic, and round a corner, I see several guards fighting...A Khajiit in old Royal Guard Armor, the Grey fox, and Someone in covered in an armor that is unfamiliar to me.

"Oi, you lot!" I yell to the three, and they all turn around to face me. "Why don't you give me a go?" I say, drawing Umbra from it's sheath

"They attacked us first, Champion." The Grey Fox says

"Ahh...I see. What is your story?" I point

"I killed a god. Got transported here, and fought these green kittens." The Khajiit says

"And what about you, strangely armored one?"

"Killed a dragon by the name of Alduin, and got transported here." The strange one says

"...huh...Okay strange question, but what Era is it for all of you?"

"The second era." The Khajjit says

"End of the Third." The grey fox says, shocked

"The fourth Era..." the strange one says, dumbfounded

"Well, that would explain the armor for you, and you." I say, gesturing to the Strange one, and Khajiit. "Well, I guess I should introduce myself. I am Reaper, hero of Kavatch."I say deciding to use that title

"Kyra, slayer of Dagoth Ur." The Khajiit says

"I am the Grey Fox...however my given name is Dances-with-Death." The Fox says.

"I am Alyx, the Dovakiin." The strange one says

"Well now, might I be the first to properly welcome you to Equestria?" I say, bowing sarcastically

"Ha, sarcasm...finally a warrior with a sense of humor." Kyra said

"Question...is that your Daedroth?" Dances-with-Death asked

It was at that point I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder, followed by a warm liquid washing down the inside of my armor. I look over to my side, and I see that a big ass red Daedroth had bitten into my shoulder. I did what any legionnaire would have done. I took my blade and cut off the top half of its damned mouth. I felt lightheaded, and before I blacked out I said this "Not again."

Author's Note

Well, cliffhanger for one. Two, I hope you guys and gals liked this little filler...I will probably publish a more in-depth one in about three of four days.

Q&A

Hi there, now before we begin I need to clarify who is speaking, afterwards it's time for the Q&A!
Reaper
Kyra
Dances-with-Death
Alyx

You done yet? Can we start now?

I guess we can Alyx. Kyra, is Dances-with-Death done with his mental breakdown?

Yes, he seems to be fine.

Okay then, onto the questions!

Hunter Redflame asks: Where, on the ye olde D&D character disposition square, would each of you be?

Chaotic good, you little dove.

Neutral good, mostly.

True Neutral.

Believe it or not, Lawful neutral.

kingmoonwar85 asks(?): all hail Sheogorath and a ... I have had a brine fart were am I agen

Reaper, I think this one was directed towards you.

Though I may be the new Prince of Chaos, it does not mean I would understand Chaos...however I like your style sir. Also you are in one of many realities.

flufpufhuf asks: Fish on a stick?

No thanks

Who do you want killed? How? And when?

Sure, why not?

I LOVE FISH! I SHALL CHERISH THIS GIFT!

Pladimir Vutin asks: Why does Sheogorath hate me?

Reaper, another for you I think.

Well, Sheo is...was the Daedric Prince of Chaos, so it's hard to tell with him. Maybe you gave him bad cheese...or good cheese.

zoruatrainer66 asks: Are you guys going to introduce tamrielan holidays

You mean like the New Life festival?

Well Yes! Of course we are! Like in the next chapter we are going to be-

Alyx, sweetheart...don't spoil things for the readers. Yes we will be bringing some Tamreilen Holidays in.

And last one. shadowgod3211 asks: hey are you guys gonna kick blueballs in the dick?

I'd rather a duel. More honor that way.

Dove...you gave me an idea.

No no, I'm a thief. Besides, he's actually a very nice individual outside of public view.

Yes, I have to agree with Dances-with-Death. But if he steps out of line? He'll be called 'Noballs' for a while.

Author's Note

Well that's all she wrote folks, HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!